explain xkcd - User contributions [en]

Talk:1667: Algorithms

2016-04-13T10:33:26Z

Sean Roach:

How can an excel spreadsheet be complicated? [[Special:Contributions/108.162.244.85|108.162.244.85]] 04:52, 13 April 2016 (UTC
:See this example http://arstechnica.com/gaming/2013/04/how-an-accountant-created-an-entire-rpg-inside-an-excel-spreadsheet/ {{unsigned ip|108.162.216.82}}

Leftpad is a reference to the recent incident where a developer unpublished all his libraries from the NodeJS Package Manager, causing much disruption: http://www.theregister.co.uk/2016/03/23/npm_left_pad_chaos/ [[Special:Contributions/162.158.85.231|162.158.85.231]] 05:58, 13 April 2016 (UTC)

In the off chance that this is referencing an actual spreadsheet, and if anyone has a link, please post it in my talk page. (And in the article of course, but talk page first) [[User:Mikemk|Mikemk]] ([[User talk:Mikemk|talk]]) 06:45, 13 April 2016 (UTC)

The remark about quicksort's efficiency doesn't make sense. It's still the most common and practical general sorting algorithm. It's about as efficient you can typically get except in specialized cases or with some specific type of data. Should be removed imo. [[Special:Contributions/141.101.81.121|141.101.81.121]] 08:52, 13 April 2016 (UTC)

Added a [Citation Needed] for the excel based RPG. More so I can read about it/play it than anything else.. [[User:Xseo|Xseo]] ([[User talk:Xseo|talk]]) 09:07, 13 April 2016 (UTC)

Added a bit to the church line. Just because you only see what happens on Sunday morning, for one hour, doesn't mean there's not more happening just beneath the surface. The classroom list at our church looks like a professional buildings office directory, and I know of members having to choose between two activities because both meet, or practice, at the same time. For instance, I know of a prospective AV team member who will never be a full time AV member, because she's a Soprano and already in Bells. (AV is setting up and debugging while the choir is practicing, and naturally it's hard to run a mixer or video switcher from the choir loft.)

Mind you, it's still hyperbole, but not to the degree previously given in the explanation.

1667: Algorithms

2016-04-13T10:26:11Z

Sean Roach:

{{comic
| number = 1667
| date = April 13, 2016
| title = Algorithms
| image = algorithms.png
| titletext = There was a schism in 2007, when a sect advocating OpenOffice created a fork of Sunday.xlsx and maintained it independently for several months. The efforts to reconcile the conflicting schedules led to the reinvention, within the cells of the spreadsheet, of modern version control.
}}

==Explanation==
{{incomplete|Still need an explanation of the title text, and perhaps some expanded definitions of the listed algorithms.}}
An algorithm is a basic set of instructions for performing a task, usually on a computer. This comic lists some algorithms in increasing order of complexity.

At the simplest end is '''left-pad''', or adding filler characters on the left end of a string to make it a particular length. In many programming languages, this is one line of code. This is a reference to a [http://www.haneycodes.net/npm-left-pad-have-we-forgotten-how-to-program/ recent incident] when {{w|Npm (software)|NodeJS Package Manager}} [https://www.techdirt.com/articles/20160324/17160034007/namespaces-intellectual-property-dependencies-big-giant-mess.shtml angered a developer] in its handling of a trademark claim. The developer unpublished all of his modules from NPM, including a package implementing left-pad. A huge number of programs depended on this third-party library instead of programming it on their own, and they immediately ceased to function.

Next is '''{{w|Quicksort}}''', a classic way to sort a list of items.

'''{{w|Git (software)|Git}}''' is a version control program, i.e. software that allows multiple people to work on the same files at the same time. When someone finalizes ("commits") their changes, the version control program needs to figure out how to join the new content with the existing content. This process is called '''{{w|Merge (version control)|merging}}''', and the algorithm for it is anything but simple.

'''{{w|Self-driving car}}''' is what it says on the tin: an automobile with sensors and software built into it so that it can maneuver in traffic autonomously, i.e. without a human controller. Various companies have been working on such vehicles for many years now, and while they're further along now than would have been imaginable even a couple of years ago, we're still far away from the dream of hopping in a driverless taxi and sitting back as the car itself navigates to where we want to be.

The '''{{w|Google Search}} backend''' is what enables you to type "the heck is a leftpad algorithm" into your browser and have Mr. Google return a list of relevant results, including correcting "leftpad" to "left-pad", ignoring the "what the heck" part, and sometimes even summarizing the findings into a box at the top of the results. Behind all that magic is a way to remember what pages the internet contains, which is just a mind-bogglingly large quantity of data, and an even more mind-numbingly complex set of algorithms for processing that data.

The last item is the punchline: a sprawling {{w|Microsoft Excel|Excel}} {{w|spreadsheet}} built up over 20 years by a church group in Nebraska to coordinate their scheduling. Spreadsheets are a general {{w|end-user development}} programming technique, and therefore people use Excel for all sorts of purposes that have nothing to do with accounting (its original purpose), including one guy who made a [http://arstechnica.com/gaming/2013/04/how-an-accountant-created-an-entire-rpg-inside-an-excel-spreadsheet/ role-playing game that runs in Excel]; but even that doesn't approach the complexity that develops when multiple people of varying levels of experience use a spreadsheet over many years for the purpose of coordinating the schedule of several coordinated groups.

The scheduling of tasks over a group of resources (a.k.a. the ''{{w|nurse scheduling problem}}''), while respecting the constraints set by each person, is a {{w|NP-hardness|highly complex}} problem requiring stochastic or heuristic methods for its resolution. Here, the algorithm would be further complicated by being solved by inexpert users over a spreadsheet model without using engineering practices. The hyperbole here is in thinking that such combination of circumstances would produce complexity far over that required to drive a car or sort the public contents of the internet. A church always meets on Sunday morning, so there's no actual complexity in organizing that service, however, with different members involved in a wide variety of activities within and without the church, and the classrooms available to the church on Sunday itself, (just scheduling the choir practice times to coordinate with every ones work schedules is very possibly impossible, especially if two people share the same occupation, and one is the relief for the other,) can indeed be daunting.

In the title text, part of the spreadsheet's complexity is described as originating from different versions of the file for different programs. The words used like schism and sect are normally used in context of religions splitting into groups about differences in believe questions. This refers on one hand to the church group handling the spreadsheet. But in this case the group split up over the use of open source software and not believe questions. On the other hand discussions on open source software are sometimes led like religious debates.

==Transcript==
'''Algorithms''' By Complexity
{|
|colspan="6" style="text-align:left;border-bottom:1px solid;"|More complex →
|- style="vertical-align:top;"
|style="padding-right:2em;"|Leftpad
|style="padding-right:2em;"|Quicksort
|style="padding-right:2em;"|GIT Merge
|style="padding-right:2em;"|Self- driving car
|style="padding-right:8em;"|Google Search backend
|Sprawling Excel spreadsheet built up over 20 years by a church group in Nebraska to coordinate their scheduling
|}

{{comic discussion}}


[[Category:Charts]]

1193: Externalities

2013-04-02T16:23:55Z

Sean Roach: /* First Panel */

{{comic
| number = 1193
| date = April 1, 2013
| title = Externalities
| image = externalities.png
| titletext = Mouse over words and things to see where they come from.
}}

==Explanation==
This comic isn't a static image - even the title text changes depending on which part of the image you're hovering over. The blank regions in the above image are dynamically generated from various sources.

*The university that is being recruited changes depending on which university is winning the hash finding competition in the fifth panel.
*The company doing the recruiting is the first NASDAQ-100 company mentioned on a varying Wikipedia page (so far: Technology, Research, Sith, Jean Luc Picard, Aer Lingus, Human sexual activity, Auction, Sinking of the Titanic, Guards with the most complicated knives, Bizarro, Map, 24-hour analog dial, Berlin Hauptbahnhof, Centrifugal Force, McDuck, Maryland Route 147, Interplanetary Transfer Network). It has also shown <nowiki>[[]]</nowiki> as the source.
**It has started using hints instead of titles, with another article linked somewhere else in the first panel. This article sometimes matches the hint.
*The text in the second panel may vary: See [[1193: Externalities#Second Panel|this section]].
*The text in the third panel may vary: See [[1193: Externalities#Third Panel|this section]].
*The text in the fourth panel may vary: See [[1193: Externalities#Fourth Panel|this section]].
*The text in the fifth panel changes, depending on which university is currently in third place in a hash finding competition. Clicking on the panel takes you to [http://almamater.xkcd.com/ a webpage] where people can enter their school's domain name and hash data, and ranks schools on how close their students can come to matching a Skein 1024 1024 hash value.
*The text in the top half of the sixth panel may vary. See [[1193: Externalities#Sixth Panel|this section]]. The second half of the panel is always the same. 
*The last panel varies with the amount donated to the Wikimedia Foundation via [https://donate.wikimedia.org/w/index.php?title=Special:FundraiserLandingPage&country=HK&uselang=en&utm_medium=socialmedia&utm_source=fr-redir&utm_campaign=xkcd_april1 this link]. For past images, see [[1193: Externalities#Seventh Panel|this section]].

===First Panel===
{{incomplete}}
In some cases, Megan's reply seems to correspond to the company.
{| class="wikitable sortable plainlinks table-padding"
|-
|
:Hey, [university] students!
:Have you applied to [company] yet?
:Megan: The recruiter hasn't emailed me back in over three minutes.
|-
|
:Hey, [university] students!
:Have you applied to [company] yet?
:Megan: The recruiter hasn't emailed me back in over an hour!
|-
|
:Hey, [university] students!
:Have you thought of a career at [company]?
:Megan: I'm not that good at math.
|-
|
:Hey, [university] students!
:Have you thought of a career at [company]?
:Megan: What do they even do?
|-
|
:Hey, [university] students!
:Have you thought of a career at [company]?
:Megan: I don't like monopolies.
|-
|
:Hey, [university] students!
:Have you thought of a career at [company]?
:Megan: Only in my darkest moments.
|-
|
:Hey, [university] students!
:Be part of the Apple experience!
:Megan: I'm not really a fan of turtlenecks.
|-
|
:Hey, [university] students!
:Come work at Microsoft!
:Megan: I only came to this tech talk for the xbox giveaway.
|-
|
:Hey, [university] students!
:Y U No Work Yahoo?
:Megan: I like working from home!
|-
|
:Hey, [university] students!
:Become a partner at Starbucks!
:Megan: But green's not my colour.
|-
|
:Hey, [university] students!
:Come work in the Amazon!
:Megan: I don't have to actually move to South America, do I?
|-
|
:Hey, [university] students!
:Have you thought of a career at [company]?
:Megan: Not after that presentation.
|-
|
:Hey, [university] students!
:Thought about working for Intel?
:Megan: I'm not that great at division.
|-
|
:Hey, [university] students!
:Dude, you should work at Dell!
:Megan: That catchphrase is so old.
|-
|
:Ahoy, carnegie melonites!
:Have you thought of a career at [company]?
:Megan: Not after that presentation.
|-
|
:Hey, [university] students!
:Have you looked for a job at Kraft Foods?
:Megan: I'm allergic to sugar
|-
|
:Hey, [university] students!
:How about working for Whole Foods?
:Megan: Could I afford the food if I did?
|-
|
:Hey, [university] students!
:Come work at EBay!
:Megan: Maybe if they made a good bid.
|}

===Second Panel===
The text in the second panel is based on the company in the first panel:
{| class="wikitable sortable plainlinks table-padding"
|-
|
:When the Singularity happens, it will happen here.
:Ponytail: [Company] has outgrown us.
:Men: It is time.
|-
|
:Think of ways to make things smaller and smaller!
:Ponytail: I'm worried mine is too big.
:Men: Yeahhh
|-
|
:Think of ways to make things smaller and smaller!
:Ponytail: But will it blend?
:Men: Yeahhh
|-
|
:You'll be part of a dynamic research team envisioning the future.
:Ponytail: It probably looks cool.
:Men: Yeahhh
|-
|
:You'll be creating the future of commerce platforms!
:Ponytail: More recommendations.
:Men: Yep.
|-
|
:You'll be an insignificant cog in our giant machine
:Ponytail: We should improve Notepad
:Men: Nah
|-
|
:We can't tell you what you'll be working on.
:Ponytail: [Confidential]
:Men: [Redacted]
|-
|
:You'll be an insignificant cog in our giant machine
:Ponytail: Needs more Bob.
:Men: Nah
|-
|
:You'll help set the future of the company
:Ponytail: Wait. You hired a college grad as the CFO?
:Men: Yeahhh
|-
|
:At Qualcomm, we know you're born mobile.
:Ponytail: Born mobile!
:Men: Texting!
|-
|
:Short or tall, we've got a grande job for you!
:Ponytail: How many job openings are there?
:Men: Ele-venti or so.
|-
|
:You'll help direct the future of nutrition
:Ponytail: Microwaveable toast
:Men: Delicious
|-
|
:Help us find and provide the best healthy, local, and sustainable products.
:Ponytail: Hey guys, how about kale cookies?
:Men: Sounds great!
|-
|
:We're the Classmates.com to Facebook's Craigslist.
:Ponytail: Maybe we should use game theory.
:Men: Why Bother?
|}

===Third Panel===
{| class="wikitable sortable plainlinks table-padding"
|-
|We're a convenient four hour drive from New York City (15,000 hours by roomba)
|-
|Only a short commuter flight away!
|-
|Travel to us by roomba, we're *that* close!
|-
|We're so close you can get to us by roomba.
|-
|Free roomba rides every morning while you have coffee.
|-
|Your roomba comes in black & slate, or white & silver
|-
|Just a short roomba ride up the coast, try not to fall off.
|-
|We know what everyday life is like for your generation:
|}

===Fourth Panel===
{| class="wikitable sortable plainlinks table-padding"
|-
|Our recruiting team is on the lookup for promising young [university] graduates.
|-
|We hired a new recruiting startup to help us hire [university] students.
|-
|We borrowed the botanical gardens' net to catch promising recruits.
|-
|We prefer to recruit from [university] students, of course.
|-
|Our recruiters are on the hunt for unaware [university] graduates.
|}

===Fifth Panel===
{| class="wikitable sortable plainlinks table-padding"
|-
| Name
| Email
| Education
|-
|Oliver Smoot
|pgp encrypted
|have you ever really looked at the fourier
|-
|Wheeeee
|ford.com
|stealing lunches from startups
|-
|leeroy jenkins
|me@car
|I can cut up melons
|-
|pittsburgh
|me@car
|I can cut up melons
|-
|SEGMENTATION FAULT
|save trees
|Contra dancing.
|-
|I'm applying
|cam.gov
|on going problems with birds
|-
|certainly
|elephant
|An excellent year in the Sahara
|-
|Stanford
|ford.com
|Stealing lunches from startups
|-
|Yes Please
|@twitter
|Are you Stanford?
|-
|Applying
|For a job
|I would like to work at you
|-
|Me olaf
|You Helga
|Hunting wooly mammoths
|-
|Oh!
|IO
|O HAI O
|-
|FOLLOWBACK
|TOTALLY.EDU.US
|CONVENIENT US DOMAIN REDIRECTS
|-
|Mancher
|Outlook
|Made a collage out of macaroni
|-
|Yes Please
|ford.com
|Are you Stanford?
|-
|ANN
|SOUTH DETROIT
|HUNT LIKE A WOLVERINE
|-
|christopher
|POBox 12532
|p.s. ill find my frog
|}

The text at the top occasionally changes format, too.

* Possibly Stanford grads, if their form-filling startup works out.

===Sixth Panel===
{| class="wikitable sortable plainlinks table-padding"
|-
|At [company], you'll work at a scale you won't find anywhere else
|-
|Explore the depths of expensive and undocumented tools!
|-
|At Apple, we believe in pushing the boundary of perfection.
|-
|At Microsoft, you just need to relax and embrace the machine 
|-
|Yahoo management aren't just suits. We code too!
|-
|At QUALCOMM Incorporated, you'll have the opportinity to work on cutting-edge projects.
|-
|At Amazon, you'll be shaving the most cutting-edge of yaks.
|-
|You get to bid first on any auction, and use other experimental tools!
|-
|At QUALCOMM, Device driver code quality is job #1
|-
|We're even working on some experimental biotechnology
|}

===Seventh Panel===
{| class="wikitable sortable plainlinks table-padding"
|-
|[[File:externality-dog1.png]]
|-
|[[File:externality-dog2.png]]
|-
|[[File:externality-dog3.png]]
|-
|[[File:externality-dog4.png]]
|-
|[[File:externality-dog5.png]]
|-
|[[File:externality-dog6.png]]
|-
|[[File:externality-dog7.png]]
|-
|[[File:externality-dog8.png]]
|-
|[[File:externality-dog9.png]]
|-
|[[File:externality-dog10.png]]
|-
|[[File:externality-dog11.png]]
|-
|[[File:externality-dog12.png]]
|-
|[[File:externality-dog13.png]]
|-
|[[File:externality-dog14.png]]
|-
|[[File:externality-dog15.png]]
|-
|[[File:externality-dog16.png]]
|-
|[[File:externality-dog17.png]]
|-
|[[File:externality-dog18.png]]
|-
|[[File:externality-dog19.png]]
|-
|[[File:externality-dog20.png]]
|}

==Title Text==
{{incomplete}}
The title text documents the different sources of data in the comic. The different title texts are:

:Mouse over words and things to see where they come from. - for most of the comic.
:Happy April 1st, Everyone!
:Mouse over text for bottom panel:
:The dog gains a pound for every $10 donated to the wikmedia foundation via this link. Currently at $15012.49 (note: at 11:38am Eastern)
:…Currently at $26639.77 19:56 EDT
:…Currently at $26806.99 20:13 EDT
:…Currently at $27576.54 20:48 EDT
:Google Inc. is the first NASDAQ-100 company mentioned on the wikipedia page <nowiki>[[Aer_Lingus]]</nowiki> (note: links to [[Wikipedia:Aer Lingus|Aer Lingus]])
:This will be changed if a NASDAQ-100 company is mentioned earlier in the Wikipedia article on <nowiki>[[page]]</nowiki>
:This will be changed if a NASDAQ-100 company is mentioned earlier in the Wikipedia article on <nowiki>{{hint: }}</nowiki>

==Transcript==
:[The comic is dynamically generated from multiple sources.]

:[First panel [[1193: Externalities#First Panel|transcript varies.]]]

:[Second panel [[1193: Externalities#Second Panel|transcript varies.]]]

:[Third panel [[1193: Externalities#Third Panel|transcript varies.]]]
:[Ponytail riding on a roomba.]

:[Fourth panel [[1193: Externalities#Fourth Panel|transcript varies.]]]
:[A group of people waiting outside a door. One of them is holding a large net.]

:Or [university] graduates, provided any of them manage to fill out the application correctly.
:Name: [random]
:Email: [Third place university]

:[Sixth panel [[1193: Externalities#Sixth Panel|transcript varies.]]]
:Cueball: What does "make dog" do?
:Off-panel: Experimental dog generator. Don't click on it; the default size isn't set, so-
:'''*click*'''

:''KZZZT''
:BIP
:Off-screen: Uh-oh.

:[Last panel's [[1193: Externalities#Seventh Panel|transcript varies.]]]

{{comic discussion}}
[[Category:Comics featuring Megan]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Ponytail]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Cueball]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Hairy]]
[[Category:Dynamic comics]]

1193: Externalities

2013-04-02T16:23:07Z

Sean Roach:

{{comic
| number = 1193
| date = April 1, 2013
| title = Externalities
| image = externalities.png
| titletext = Mouse over words and things to see where they come from.
}}

==Explanation==
This comic isn't a static image - even the title text changes depending on which part of the image you're hovering over. The blank regions in the above image are dynamically generated from various sources.

*The university that is being recruited changes depending on which university is winning the hash finding competition in the fifth panel.
*The company doing the recruiting is the first NASDAQ-100 company mentioned on a varying Wikipedia page (so far: Technology, Research, Sith, Jean Luc Picard, Aer Lingus, Human sexual activity, Auction, Sinking of the Titanic, Guards with the most complicated knives, Bizarro, Map, 24-hour analog dial, Berlin Hauptbahnhof, Centrifugal Force, McDuck, Maryland Route 147, Interplanetary Transfer Network). It has also shown <nowiki>[[]]</nowiki> as the source.
**It has started using hints instead of titles, with another article linked somewhere else in the first panel. This article sometimes matches the hint.
*The text in the second panel may vary: See [[1193: Externalities#Second Panel|this section]].
*The text in the third panel may vary: See [[1193: Externalities#Third Panel|this section]].
*The text in the fourth panel may vary: See [[1193: Externalities#Fourth Panel|this section]].
*The text in the fifth panel changes, depending on which university is currently in third place in a hash finding competition. Clicking on the panel takes you to [http://almamater.xkcd.com/ a webpage] where people can enter their school's domain name and hash data, and ranks schools on how close their students can come to matching a Skein 1024 1024 hash value.
*The text in the top half of the sixth panel may vary. See [[1193: Externalities#Sixth Panel|this section]]. The second half of the panel is always the same. 
*The last panel varies with the amount donated to the Wikimedia Foundation via [https://donate.wikimedia.org/w/index.php?title=Special:FundraiserLandingPage&country=HK&uselang=en&utm_medium=socialmedia&utm_source=fr-redir&utm_campaign=xkcd_april1 this link]. For past images, see [[1193: Externalities#Seventh Panel|this section]].

===First Panel===
{{incomplete}}
In some cases, Megan's reply seems to correspond to the company.
{| class="wikitable sortable plainlinks table-padding"
|-
|
:Hey, [university] students!
:Have you applied to [company] yet?
:Megan: The recruiter hasn't emailed me back in over three minutes.
|-
|
:Hey, [university] students!
:Have you applied to [company] yet?
:Megan: The recruiter hasn't emailed me back in over an hour!
|-
|
:Hey, [university] students!
:Have you thought of a career at [company]?
:Megan: I'm not that good at math.
|-
|
:Hey, [university] students!
:Have you thought of a career at [company]?
:Megan: What do they even do?
|-
|
:Hey, [university] students!
:Have you thought of a career at [company]?
:Megan: I don't like monopolies.
|-
|
:Hey, [university] students!
:Have you thought of a career at [company]?
:Megan: Only in my darkest moments.
|-
|
:Hey, [university] students!
:Be part of the Apple experience!
:Megan: I'm not really a fan of turtlenecks.
|-
|
:Hey, [university] students!
:Come work at Microsoft!
:Megan: I only came to this tech talk for the xbox giveaway.
|-
|
:Hey, [university] students!
:Y U No Work Yahoo?
:Megan: I like working from home!
|-
|
:Hey, [university] students!
:Become a partner at Starbucks!
:Megan: But green's not my colour.
|-
|
:Hey, [university] students!
:Come work in the Amazon!
:Megan: I don't have to actually move to South America, do I?
|-
|
:Hey, [university] students!
:Have you thought of a career at [company]?
:Megan: Not after that presentation.
|-
|
:Hey, [university] students!
:Thought about working for Intel?
:Megan: I'm not that great at division.
|-
|
:Hey, [university] students!
:Dude, you should work at Dell!
:Megan: That catchphrase is so old.
|-
|
:Ahoy, carnegie melonites!
:Have you thought of a career at [company]?
:Megan: Not after that presentation.
|-
|
:Hey, [university] students!
:Have you looked for a job at Kraft Foods?
:Megan: I'm allergic to sugar
|-
|
:Hey, [university] students!
:How about working for Whole Foods?
:Megan: Could I afford the food if I did?|-
|
:Hey, [university] students!
:Come work at EBay!
:Megan: Maybe if they made a good bid.
|}

===Second Panel===
The text in the second panel is based on the company in the first panel:
{| class="wikitable sortable plainlinks table-padding"
|-
|
:When the Singularity happens, it will happen here.
:Ponytail: [Company] has outgrown us.
:Men: It is time.
|-
|
:Think of ways to make things smaller and smaller!
:Ponytail: I'm worried mine is too big.
:Men: Yeahhh
|-
|
:Think of ways to make things smaller and smaller!
:Ponytail: But will it blend?
:Men: Yeahhh
|-
|
:You'll be part of a dynamic research team envisioning the future.
:Ponytail: It probably looks cool.
:Men: Yeahhh
|-
|
:You'll be creating the future of commerce platforms!
:Ponytail: More recommendations.
:Men: Yep.
|-
|
:You'll be an insignificant cog in our giant machine
:Ponytail: We should improve Notepad
:Men: Nah
|-
|
:We can't tell you what you'll be working on.
:Ponytail: [Confidential]
:Men: [Redacted]
|-
|
:You'll be an insignificant cog in our giant machine
:Ponytail: Needs more Bob.
:Men: Nah
|-
|
:You'll help set the future of the company
:Ponytail: Wait. You hired a college grad as the CFO?
:Men: Yeahhh
|-
|
:At Qualcomm, we know you're born mobile.
:Ponytail: Born mobile!
:Men: Texting!
|-
|
:Short or tall, we've got a grande job for you!
:Ponytail: How many job openings are there?
:Men: Ele-venti or so.
|-
|
:You'll help direct the future of nutrition
:Ponytail: Microwaveable toast
:Men: Delicious
|-
|
:Help us find and provide the best healthy, local, and sustainable products.
:Ponytail: Hey guys, how about kale cookies?
:Men: Sounds great!
|-
|
:We're the Classmates.com to Facebook's Craigslist.
:Ponytail: Maybe we should use game theory.
:Men: Why Bother?
|}

===Third Panel===
{| class="wikitable sortable plainlinks table-padding"
|-
|We're a convenient four hour drive from New York City (15,000 hours by roomba)
|-
|Only a short commuter flight away!
|-
|Travel to us by roomba, we're *that* close!
|-
|We're so close you can get to us by roomba.
|-
|Free roomba rides every morning while you have coffee.
|-
|Your roomba comes in black & slate, or white & silver
|-
|Just a short roomba ride up the coast, try not to fall off.
|-
|We know what everyday life is like for your generation:
|}

===Fourth Panel===
{| class="wikitable sortable plainlinks table-padding"
|-
|Our recruiting team is on the lookup for promising young [university] graduates.
|-
|We hired a new recruiting startup to help us hire [university] students.
|-
|We borrowed the botanical gardens' net to catch promising recruits.
|-
|We prefer to recruit from [university] students, of course.
|-
|Our recruiters are on the hunt for unaware [university] graduates.
|}

===Fifth Panel===
{| class="wikitable sortable plainlinks table-padding"
|-
| Name
| Email
| Education
|-
|Oliver Smoot
|pgp encrypted
|have you ever really looked at the fourier
|-
|Wheeeee
|ford.com
|stealing lunches from startups
|-
|leeroy jenkins
|me@car
|I can cut up melons
|-
|pittsburgh
|me@car
|I can cut up melons
|-
|SEGMENTATION FAULT
|save trees
|Contra dancing.
|-
|I'm applying
|cam.gov
|on going problems with birds
|-
|certainly
|elephant
|An excellent year in the Sahara
|-
|Stanford
|ford.com
|Stealing lunches from startups
|-
|Yes Please
|@twitter
|Are you Stanford?
|-
|Applying
|For a job
|I would like to work at you
|-
|Me olaf
|You Helga
|Hunting wooly mammoths
|-
|Oh!
|IO
|O HAI O
|-
|FOLLOWBACK
|TOTALLY.EDU.US
|CONVENIENT US DOMAIN REDIRECTS
|-
|Mancher
|Outlook
|Made a collage out of macaroni
|-
|Yes Please
|ford.com
|Are you Stanford?
|-
|ANN
|SOUTH DETROIT
|HUNT LIKE A WOLVERINE
|-
|christopher
|POBox 12532
|p.s. ill find my frog
|}

The text at the top occasionally changes format, too.

* Possibly Stanford grads, if their form-filling startup works out.

===Sixth Panel===
{| class="wikitable sortable plainlinks table-padding"
|-
|At [company], you'll work at a scale you won't find anywhere else
|-
|Explore the depths of expensive and undocumented tools!
|-
|At Apple, we believe in pushing the boundary of perfection.
|-
|At Microsoft, you just need to relax and embrace the machine 
|-
|Yahoo management aren't just suits. We code too!
|-
|At QUALCOMM Incorporated, you'll have the opportinity to work on cutting-edge projects.
|-
|At Amazon, you'll be shaving the most cutting-edge of yaks.
|-
|You get to bid first on any auction, and use other experimental tools!
|-
|At QUALCOMM, Device driver code quality is job #1
|-
|We're even working on some experimental biotechnology
|}

===Seventh Panel===
{| class="wikitable sortable plainlinks table-padding"
|-
|[[File:externality-dog1.png]]
|-
|[[File:externality-dog2.png]]
|-
|[[File:externality-dog3.png]]
|-
|[[File:externality-dog4.png]]
|-
|[[File:externality-dog5.png]]
|-
|[[File:externality-dog6.png]]
|-
|[[File:externality-dog7.png]]
|-
|[[File:externality-dog8.png]]
|-
|[[File:externality-dog9.png]]
|-
|[[File:externality-dog10.png]]
|-
|[[File:externality-dog11.png]]
|-
|[[File:externality-dog12.png]]
|-
|[[File:externality-dog13.png]]
|-
|[[File:externality-dog14.png]]
|-
|[[File:externality-dog15.png]]
|-
|[[File:externality-dog16.png]]
|-
|[[File:externality-dog17.png]]
|-
|[[File:externality-dog18.png]]
|-
|[[File:externality-dog19.png]]
|-
|[[File:externality-dog20.png]]
|}

==Title Text==
{{incomplete}}
The title text documents the different sources of data in the comic. The different title texts are:

:Mouse over words and things to see where they come from. - for most of the comic.
:Happy April 1st, Everyone!
:Mouse over text for bottom panel:
:The dog gains a pound for every $10 donated to the wikmedia foundation via this link. Currently at $15012.49 (note: at 11:38am Eastern)
:…Currently at $26639.77 19:56 EDT
:…Currently at $26806.99 20:13 EDT
:…Currently at $27576.54 20:48 EDT
:Google Inc. is the first NASDAQ-100 company mentioned on the wikipedia page <nowiki>[[Aer_Lingus]]</nowiki> (note: links to [[Wikipedia:Aer Lingus|Aer Lingus]])
:This will be changed if a NASDAQ-100 company is mentioned earlier in the Wikipedia article on <nowiki>[[page]]</nowiki>
:This will be changed if a NASDAQ-100 company is mentioned earlier in the Wikipedia article on <nowiki>{{hint: }}</nowiki>

==Transcript==
:[The comic is dynamically generated from multiple sources.]

:[First panel [[1193: Externalities#First Panel|transcript varies.]]]

:[Second panel [[1193: Externalities#Second Panel|transcript varies.]]]

:[Third panel [[1193: Externalities#Third Panel|transcript varies.]]]
:[Ponytail riding on a roomba.]

:[Fourth panel [[1193: Externalities#Fourth Panel|transcript varies.]]]
:[A group of people waiting outside a door. One of them is holding a large net.]

:Or [university] graduates, provided any of them manage to fill out the application correctly.
:Name: [random]
:Email: [Third place university]

:[Sixth panel [[1193: Externalities#Sixth Panel|transcript varies.]]]
:Cueball: What does "make dog" do?
:Off-panel: Experimental dog generator. Don't click on it; the default size isn't set, so-
:'''*click*'''

:''KZZZT''
:BIP
:Off-screen: Uh-oh.

:[Last panel's [[1193: Externalities#Seventh Panel|transcript varies.]]]

{{comic discussion}}
[[Category:Comics featuring Megan]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Ponytail]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Cueball]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Hairy]]
[[Category:Dynamic comics]]

File:externality-dog9.png

2013-04-02T00:52:10Z

Sean Roach: