explain xkcd - User contributions [en]

3208: SNEWS

2026-02-17T17:10:04Z

Sjö:

{{comic
| number = 3208
| date = February 16, 2026
| title = SNEWS
| image = snews_2x.png
| imagesize = 740x321px
| noexpand = true
| titletext = People say setting of fireworks indoors is dangerous, but I looked at their energy release and it's like 10^-40 foe; totally negligible.
}}

==Explanation==
{{incomplete|This page was created by a Type Ia firework display that Ponytail set off. Don't remove this notice too soon.}}
[[Ponytail]] is showing [[Hairy]] her bedroom. Hairy asks about the large device on the ceiling, and Ponytail explains that it is part of the {{w|SNEWS}} (SuperNova Early Warning System). This provides advance notice of {{w|supernova|supernovae}} by detecting {{w|neutrino|neutrinos}} (tiny particles that travel near the speed of light, rarely interacting with matter). Neutrinos are produced in large quantities during the collapse of the star core, which occurs hours before the main photon production which makes them visible to the eye. She explains this gives {{w|astronomer}}s warning, allowing them to observe the event with telescopes and other instruments.

Hairy reasonably assumes that the device is either a detector, forming part of the SNEWS, or some kind of telescope to be used in the event the SNEWS goes off. However, Ponytail explains that it is a {{w|fireworks}} launcher — presumably linked into the detection network and triggered if it registers an observation — for the purposes of waking her up so she can witness the supernova herself. This is a '''very''' bad idea, for a multitude of reasons. Reckless use of fireworks is known for causing significant property damage and personal injury, even when used outdoors; launching fireworks inside the house means causing an explosion in a confined area, guaranteeing that it will hit the building, maximizing the opportunity to ignite something flammable on the structure, and containing, and therefore amplifying, the sound of the burst (which can already deafen people who are too close). Understandably, Hairy {{tvtropes|ScrewThisImOuttaHere|leaves to sleep at his own house}}.

Some people aren't easily woken up by a simple {{w|alarm clock}}, especially if it is in reach and has a "snooze" function where a button will silence the alarm for several minutes before it beeps again. The similar sounds of "snooze" and SNEWS may be part of the joke.

Ponytail is being {{w|hyperbole|hyperbolic}}, because even if all astronomers were interested in supernovae, not every individual or observatory will be immediately situated to view a particular point in the sky. For example, they may need to wait for the Earth's rotation, causing the phenomenon to "rise" in the east. Others may be located at unfavorable latitudes where the object will never appear above the Earth's horizon. It may also take some time before the supernova reaches an apparent magnitude that is visible during the daytime.

Since historical supernovae have been visible from 6 months to nearly 2 years, it would be unlikely that Ponytail sleeps through a new one in its entirety, although there would still be significant cachet for any astronomer lucky enough to be able to legitimately say that they had seen the 'first light' at the earliest opportunity. It would also be difficult for her to ''not'' sleep through part of the supernova, for the same reason.

The title text is a play on the tremendous amount of energy released by a supernova. The {{w|Foe (unit)|foe}} is an unofficial unit of energy equal to 10^44 Joule (but named directly from initials in the original quantity of "ten to the fifty-one ergs", involving a {{w|Erg|pre-SI}} measurement of energy), which is approximately on the order of the usual amount of energy released by a supernova. In comparison, human-scale amounts of energy — even relatively significant ones such as firework detonations — are negligible. This ignores the fact that energy releases that are "negligible in comparison to a supernova" can still be easily fatal to humans; even the largest man-made nuclear explosion is approximately ''twenty-seven'' orders of magnitude less than the baseline 'foe' value. The described "10-40 foe" is equal to 10 kJ, the energy released by the complete combustion of about 0.6 g of table sugar (sucrose), or the decomposition of about 6 g of nitrocellulose.

==Transcript==
{{incomplete transcript|Don't remove this notice too soon.}}
:[Ponytail is walking into her room. The room has a bed, a set of drawers and a large sci-fi device mounted on the ceiling. Hairy is standing in the room, pointing up at the device.]
:Hairy: What's that device?
:Ponytail: Part of the supernova early warning system.
:Ponytail: There hasn't been a Milky Way supernova in over a century.
:Ponytail: Astronomers don't want to miss the next one.

:[Close up of Ponytail, now sitting on the end of the bed]
:Ponytail: 20 years ago, we set up a supernova alert system using neutrino detectors.
:Ponytail: It should give us a few hours' advance notice.

:[In a frame-less panel the view zooms back out, showing Ponytail and Hairy.]
:Ponytail: If it ever goes off, every astronomer on earth will scramble to point their equipment at the sky.
:Hairy: Oh, OK. So is that a detector? Or some kind of telescope?

:[The panel moves to the right, showing Hairy walking away. Ponytail is still on the end of the bed, raising a clenched fist for dramatic effect.]
:Ponytail: Fireworks launcher.
:Ponytail: I '''''refuse''''' to sleep through a supernova.
:Hairy: I think I'll spend the night at my place instead.

==Trivia==
The word "off" is misspelled as "of" in the title text.

{{comic discussion}}<noinclude>

[[Category:Comics featuring Ponytail]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Hairy]]
[[Category:Astronomy]]

2632: Greatest Scientist

2022-06-14T16:25:37Z

Sjö: Galileo dropped two objects, ties in with the two petri dishes

{{comic
| number = 2632
| date = June 13, 2022
| title = Greatest Scientist
| image = Greatest Scientist.png
| titletext = "Ow! One of the petri dishes I left on the tower railing fell and hit me on the head. Hey, that gives me an idea..."
}}

==Explanation==
{{incomplete|Created by HISTORY'S WURST SCIENTIST - Please change this comment when editing this page. Do NOT delete this tag too soon.}}
This comic takes the feats of six of history's most acclaimed scientists and combines them into one fictional act, claiming that this person was the greatest scientist in history. Pulling off a combination of all of these would, indeed, be rather impressive.{{Citation needed}}

These scientists are most likely {{w|Galileo Galilei}}, {{w|Benjamin Franklin}}, {{w|Alexander Fleming}}, {{w|Ivan Pavlov}}, {{w|Eratosthenes}}, and {{w|Isaac Newton}}.

The ground is noticeably curved in this comic, as the curvature of Earth is mentioned and measured, thus requiring curvature.

Humorously combining multiple science experiments into one was also a punchline in [[1584: Moments of Inspiration]]. Curved floors to represent Earths curvature were mentioned in [[2412: 1/100,000th Scale World]]

==Table of Experiments==
{| class="wikitable"
|+ List of experiments in the comic
|-
! Experiment in comic !! Experiment in reality !! Meaning !! Scientist
|-
| The Leaning Tower of Pisa || {{w|Galileo}} conducted [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Galileo%27s_Leaning_Tower_of_Pisa_experiment an experiment] at the Leaning Tower of Pisa, where he dropped two objects to measure whether the rate at which objects fall is dependent on weight or is constant. || Galileo found that objects with different weights fall at the same rate, disproving Aristotle's statement which purported the opposite. However, {{w|Vincenzo Viviani}} had already discovered this. Galileo's experiment further developed experimentation in science, in opposition to the then-prevailing view that knowledge is learned by studying the writings of the ancients.|| {{w|Galileo Galilei}}
|-
|Flying a kite into a thunderstorm with lightning || In June 1752, Benjamin Franklin performed his famous {{w|kite experiment}} in which he attached a conductive wire to a kite and flew it near a thunderstorm. Attached to the kite was a key, which was further attached to a {{w|Leyden jar}}. || While the kite was not hit by lightning, "Franklin did notice that loose threads of the kite string were repelling each other and deduced that the Leyden jar was being charged." This is sometimes considered the discovery of the fact that lightning contains/is electricity. || {{w|Benjamin Franklin}}
|-
| Two moldy petri dishes || In August 1928, Alexander Fleming put ''Staphylococcus aureus'' into multiple petri dishes and then left to go on holiday/vacation. On September 3, he returned and found that one plate had mould on it. This plate was the only one that did not have ''S. aureus'' bacteria in it. He later repeated this experiment and {{w|History_of_penicillin#The_breakthrough_discovery|the result was confirmed}}. || The mould that Fleming had discovered produced penicillin, an antibiotic. This was the first time that a substance had been discovered that could ''reliably'' treat bacterial infections, having a huge impact on medicine across the world. || Sir {{w|Alexander Fleming}}
|-
| Salivating dog located next to a bell || [https://www.simplypsychology.org/pavlov.html In 1902 Ivan Pavlov conducted a study on dog reflexes] by giving dogs food and simultaneously ringing a bell. When the dog smelled and saw the food, it started salivating. Eventually, simply ringing the bell made the dog salivate, as the dog had associated the bell ringing with food. Pavlov also performed other, less humane experiments on other dogs. || This was the discovery of {{w|classical conditioning}}, where a stimulus is paired with an unrelated other thing through repeated exposure. The subject will eventually react to the unrelated thing in the absence of the stimulus. This is an example of taught reflexes, where a subconsious reaction like a reflex or instinct is taught. || {{W|Ivan Pavlov}}
|-
| The shadow angle of the dog determining the circumference of the Earth || |In the 200s BCE, the Greek philosopher Eratosthenes {{w|Earth's_circumference#Eratosthenes|measured the circumference of the Earth}}. While his exact method has been lost to time, a simplified version remains: At high noon on the summer solstice in Syene, Egypt, the sun was almost directly overhead. This was confirmed with a sundial. 5,000 stadia away in Alexandria, at the same time, the angle of the sun was measured with another sundial and converted into a fraction of the Earth's circumference. Some simple multiplication could then yield the circumference of the Earth. || The distance Eratosthenes calculated for the circumference of Earth was 250,000 stadia. This estimate was either 2.4% low or 0.8% high compared to modern knowledge, depending on whether he used Greek or Egyptian stadia - a remarkably accurate estimate for the time. || {{w|Eratosthenes}}
|-
| (Title text) A petri dish falling on the scientist's head, leading to a new discovery || Sir Isaac Newton, an inventor of calculus and discoverer of his famous {{w|Newton's laws of motion|Laws of Motion}}, also determined the basic mechanics of {{w|gravity}}. It's sometimes claimed that Newton came up with the notion of gravity when an apple fell from a tree and hit him on the head. While this is almost certainly an embellishment, Newton apparently told acquaintances that his inquiries into gravity were {{w|Isaac_Newton#Apple_incident|"occasion'd by the fall of an apple"}}. This purportedly led Newton to consider the question of what ''exactly'' caused the apple to fall straight to the ground. || This line of thinking ultimately let him to deduce the {{w|Law of Universal Gravitation}}, which is fundamental to understanding celestial mechanics. || Sir {{w|Isaac Newton}}
|}
It is also possible that the fact that two petri dishes fell in the comic but only one fell in the title text could be an obscure reference to {{w|Albert Einstein}}, through either the twins paradox or superposition. However, this connection is rather far-fetched and is more likely just a minor discrepancy.
==Transcript==
{{incomplete transcript |Please change this comment when editing this page. Do NOT delete this tag too soon.}}

:[On the left of the panel, there are some buildings and trees representing Pisa, Italy. One of these buildings is the Leaning Tower of Pisa. Below the tower are some mathematical symbols and angles, marking its shadow as L1. Attached to the top of the tower, there is a kite string. The kite is in the top right, next to a thunderstorm. Falling from the kite are two disks which fall onto a bell underneath. The bell goes "Ding! Ding!" Next to the bell is a dog. There are more lines and mathematical symbols coming off the dog, marking its shadow as L2. The ground is noticeably curved.]

:[Caption below the panel:]
:History's greatest scientist was probably that one who measured the shadow of the Leaning Tower of Pisa while flying a kite into a distant thunderstorm where lightning caused two moldy Petri dishes to fall onto a bell next to a salivating dog whose shadow angle determined the circumference of the Earth.

{{comic discussion}}
[[Category: Science]]

2582: Data Trap

2022-02-18T15:37:46Z

Sjö: destructive analysis in archeology

{{comic
| number = 2582
| date = February 16, 2022
| title = Data Trap
| image = data_trap.png
| titletext = It's important to make sure your analysis destroys as much information as it produces.
}}

==Explanation==
{{incomplete|Created by a SURPLUS DATA-CREATING BOT - Please change this comment when editing this page. Do NOT delete this tag too soon.}}

[[Cueball]] wants to analyze a "bunch" of {{w|data}} that he has, likely from a survey or study. [[Megan]] warns him against doing {{w|Data analysis|analysis}} because analysis produces more data — specifically, {{w|Metadata|data ''about'' the data}}. This is implied to be a bad thing, as in, having "too much" data is undesirable — perhaps he will be expected to analyze the metadata, then analyze the metadata created by the metadata, and so on. However, data generated from analysis may provide useful insights about the original data set, e.g. finding {{w|Correlation|trends or correlations}} between data points. Avoiding the analysis or deleting its data could deprive the analyzer of useful information. And, in the case that the analysis is flawed or impossible, there is little danger in disposing of any resulting reports.{{citation needed}}

The title text proposes an alternate solution: destructive analysis. It is important that the method chosen to analyze the data destroys as much information as it created, thus keeping the total amount of data constant. This expands on the concept of not having a surplus of data, suggesting that any analysis should destroy as much data as it produces. This would make data constant in quantity or in an equilibrium; of course, data doesn't actually have this limitation,{{Citation needed}} and the user can create as much data as is needed or desired.

In the quantum world {{w|information}} can neither be destroyed or created; see the {{w|no-hiding theorem}}, for instance. [https://www.nps.gov/archeology/collections/coll_05.htm Destructive analysis] is a term used in archeology; as the name implies the thing that you study is destroyed by the analysis. However, destructive analysis is rarely or never used to study data.

==Transcript==
:[Cueball is sitting in an office chair at his desk, hands on his knees, looking at his laptop. Megan stands behind him, with her arms raised to the sides and above her head.]
:Cueball: Hey, look, we have a bunch of data! I'm gonna analyze it.
:Megan: No, you fool! '''''That will only create more data!'''''

{{comic discussion}}

[[Category:Comics featuring Cueball]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Megan]]
[[Category:Statistics]]
[[Category:Science]]

2443: Immune Response

2021-03-30T16:32:33Z

Sjö: there are two main types, only one with genetic code, also tweaks

{{comic
| number = 2443
| date = March 29, 2021
| title = Immune Response
| image = immune_response.png
| titletext = I don't care whether you win or lose, as long as you have-- ...okay, sorry, I'm being reminded I very much care whether you win or lose. I need you to win, that's very important.
}}

==Explanation==
{{incomplete|Created by a HEROIC IMMUNE CELL. Please mention here why this explanation isn't complete. Do NOT delete this tag too soon.}}
This is another comic in a [[:Category:COVID-19|series]] related to the {{w|2019-20 coronavirus outbreak|2020 pandemic}} of the {{w|coronavirus}} {{w|SARS-CoV-2}}, which causes {{w|COVID-19}}.

The vaccine is either virus proteins or the genetic code to create one of the important virus proteins, which the cells construct. The immune system then fights the proteins as though they were the real virus, thus gaining the knowledge of how to ward off the virus if it ever actually shows up.

In this comic, [[Cueball]] has just received the COVID-19 vaccine and so far does not have any major symptoms. He is worried that his immune symptom is "freaking out" with its reaction to the vaccine, and begins to reassure it the vaccine isn't the real virus. However, [[Megan]] reminds him that he does want his immune system to panic and to build immunity. In the final panel, Cueball tells his immune system that he is about to die, and urges them on to fight.

In the title text, Cueball starts to give his body a pep talk about how he doesn't care if it wins or loses as long as it doesn't give up, with the intent of {{tvtropes|WinOneForTheGipper|motivating it enough to win}}, then remembers if his immune system somehow ''lost'' (to such a weak threat as the vaccine), he would die. So he very much does care that it doesn't lose.

==Transcript==
:[Megan is walking toward Cueball, who is holding his arm.]
:Megan: How you feeling?
:Cueball: Not bad. Tired. A little sore.

:[Zoom in on Cueball. He looks down at his arms, which are held out.]
:Cueball: I feel bad for my immune system. It doesn't know this isn't a real virus. It must be freaking out.
:Cueball: Hey buddy, don't worry! We're going to be fine. This is just practice!

:[Zoom out. Megan gestures at Cueball, as he holds his arm.]
:Megan: No, don't tell it ''that''. You '''''want''''' it to panic and build defenses that will be able to handle the real thing.
:Cueball: I guess.
:Cueball: Okay, let me try that again.
:Cueball: *ahem*

:[Cueball dramatically clutches at his chest.]
:Cueball: Woe! My arm is stricken by a dreadful plague!
:Cueball: I feel death draw near! My only hope is those heroic immune cells!
:Megan: Perfect.
:Cueball [small text]: ''Psst - you're doing great! I'm so proud of you.''

{{comic discussion}}
[[Category:COVID-19]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Cueball]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Megan]]

2393: Presidential Middle Names

2020-12-03T06:08:20Z

Sjö: called "president-elect" by the GSA as well as by a large majority of news outlets

{{comic
| number = 2393
| date = December 3, 2020
| title = Presidential Middle Names
| image = presidential_middle_names.png
| titletext = The bottom of the list remains unchanged. Poor Rutherford Birchard Hayes.
}}

==Explanation==
{{incomplete|Created by RICHARD MILHOUS NIXON, WITHOUT THE E. Please mention here why this explanation isn't complete. Do NOT delete this tag too soon.}}
A list of what Randall perceives to be the prettiest presidential middle names. {{w|Joe Biden|Joe Robinette Biden}} (46th president-elect) has taken the second slot. Previous second-place holder {{w|Franklin D. Roosevelt|Franklin Delano Roosevelt}}, the 32nd president, has been bumped back to third. {{w|Warren G. Harding|Warren Gamaliel Harding}}, the 29th president, remains in first.

The title text announces that {{w|Rutherford B. Hayes|Rutherford Birchard Hayes}}, the 19th president, remains at or near the bottom. Overall, the ranking would not include every president, as many, such as {{w|George Washington}} and {{w|John Adams}} lacked middle names. Many presidents were also commonly known by their middle names as opposed to their first names; examples include Stephen {{w|Grover Cleveland}} and Thomas {{w|Woodrow Wilson}}. It is unclear how Randall’s list would deal with these cases.

==Transcript==
<div style="text-align: center;"><big>Prettiest</big> 
Presidential Middle Names 
Official Rankings 
(Updated for 2021)

1. Gamaliel (Warren Harding) 
2. Robinette (Joe Biden) '''(NEW!)''' 
3. Delano (Franklin Roosevelt) 
</div>

{{comic discussion}}

[[Category:Comics with color]]

2393: Presidential Middle Names

2020-12-03T05:40:51Z

Sjö: /* Transcript */ spelling, removed tag

{{comic
| number = 2393
| date = December 3, 2020
| title = Presidential Middle Names
| image = presidential_middle_names.png
| titletext = The bottom of the list remains unchanged. Poor Rutherford Birchard Hayes.
}}

==Explanation==
{{incomplete|Created by RICHARD MILHOUS NIXON, WITHOUT THE E. Please mention here why this explanation isn't complete. Do NOT delete this tag too soon.}}
A list of what Randall perceives to be the prettiest presidential middle names. {{w|Joe Biden|Joe Robinette Biden}} (46th presidential-canidate) has taken the second slot. Previous second-place holder {{w|Franklin D. Roosevelt|Franklin Delano Roosevelt}}, the 32nd president, has been bumped back to third. {{w|Warren G. Harding|Warren Gamaliel Harding}}, the 29th president, remains in first.

The title text announces that {{w|Rutherford B. Hayes|Rutherford Birchard Hayes}}, the 19th president, remains at or near the bottom. Overall, the ranking would not include every president, as many, such as {{w|George Washington}} and {{w|John Adams}} lacked middle names. Many presidents were also commonly known by their middle names as opposed to their first names; examples include Stephen {{w|Grover Cleveland}} and Thomas {{w|Woodrow Wilson}}. It is unclear how Randall’s list would deal with these cases.

==Transcript==
<div style="text-align: center;"><big>Prettiest</big> 
Presidential Middle Names 
Official Rankings 
(Updated for 2021)

1. Gamaliel (Warren Harding) 
2. Robinette (Joe Biden) '''(NEW!)''' 
3. Delano (Franklin Roosevelt) 
</div>

{{comic discussion}}

[[Category:Comics with color]]

2391: Life Before the Pandemic

2020-11-28T08:56:07Z

Sjö: library

{{comic
| number = 2391
| date = November 27, 2020
| title = Life Before the Pandemic
| image = life_before_the_pandemic.png
| titletext = I can't wait until this is all over and I can go back to riding my horse through the mall.
}}

==Explanation==
{{incomplete|Created by a STUPID CLAW. Please mention here why this explanation isn't complete. Do NOT delete this tag too soon.}}

This is another comic in xkcd's [[:Category:COVID-19|series of comics]] about the COVID-19 pandemic. [[Megan]] and [[Cueball]] are having a conversation about life before the pandemic, which was declared as such on the 11th of March, 2020 by the World Health Organization. They talk about what they miss about life before the pandemic, but Cueball says that he can barely remember it. This is borne out by the rest of their discussion: None of the activities they list were ever common and most are strange, and various items are misconstrued as existing for pandemic mitigation purposes.

After they finish reminiscing, Megan says that she can't wait for a vaccine, further implying that she she can't wait to have all of these things "back." Both Pfizer/BioNTech and Moderna are making vaccines, with Pfizer/BioNTech making their application for emergency use on November 20th, 2020, 7 days before this comic's release. It is expected to be approved for use by the end of the year.

===Scuba diving without a mask===
{{w|Scuba set|Scuba}} stands for Self-Contained Underwater Breathing Apparatus. It consists of a tank of compressed air, which is conducted through a tube to a mask which allows the diver to breathe underwater. The mask is a fundamental part of scuba diving. Cloth masks, to help lower the spread of the virus between people, are a recommended precaution when in public, but wearers are advised not to wear them when swimming. Megan is conflating these two different types of masks, misremembering a world where scuba diving did not have masks involved. You do not need to wear a cloth mask if you are scuba diving, but you do need to wear a scuba mask–irrespective of whether there is a pandemic.

Scuba masks previously rated quite well on the mask effectiveness scale in [[2367: Masks]].

===Free refills at gas stations===
{{w|Gas station}}s are locations where you can buy gasoline, which powers internal combustion engines, especially those in cars. A "free refill," in this context, likely refers to getting the gas tank of your car filled for free, which was not a business practice that was ever common.{{Citation needed}} However, many gas stations also have a small convenience shop that accompanies them, where you can buy food, drinks, and can use the restroom. "Free refills" could refer to getting a free refill of a type of soft drink, which may happen in gas stations, but is mostly associated with restaurants and diners who allow free top-ups of inexpensive soft drinks (or tea/coffee), as a possible loss-leader, for those that potentially will pay more for a substantive meal. The hospitality sector has been curtailed to various degrees, depending on local responses to the pandemic, and it's possible no outlets that offered free top-ups can continue to do so, or even operate an eat-in service at all. While gasoline stations don't offer gas refills to cars, there are quite a number of locations offering free "refills" for electric vehicles. Electric vehicles were considerably less common before the pandemic, thanks also to generous incentive schemes in many countries. This might explain why the characters have a ghost memory of "free gasoline refills".

===Grilling in the library===
{{w|Grilling}} food generally poses a significant fire hazard (and can produce toxic carbon monoxide) and is thus typically not allowed indoors, especially in libraries. In the pandemic, many libraries discourage people from spending time there, preferring that visitors only check out or drop off books. Some libraries have even removed chairs to achieve this. Randall might be making a wordplay on "chilling".

===Tennis without a "safety" net===

{{w|Tennis}} is a sport where two players use racquets to hit a ball at each other. The game is played on a court divided in half by a low net. The net is not used for anyone's safety; it's to ensure that the ball must be volleyed to the other player with some minimum height. Megan seems to believe that the net is there to ensure that the players stay on opposite sides of the net, in order to lower the spread of the virus.

===Indoor fireworks===
Many indoor activities were moved outdoors during the COVID-19 pandemic, as poorly-ventilated indoor spaces vastly increase the chance of the virus spreading. {{w|Firework}}s are explosives shot into the air for entertainment. Most fireworks are not suitable for use indoors; setting them off indoors is even more dangerous than they already are, even before the pandemic. However, there are specially designed indoor fireworks, most often used by specially trained and licensed pyrotechnicians. This may also be a reference to "Indoor Fireworks", a song by {{w|Elvis Costello}} from his 1986 album {{w|King of America}}, which uses fireworks as a metaphor for a tumultuous romantic relationship.

===Arcade claw machines===

{{w|Claw crane|Arcade claw machines}} have a bin of prizes (often stuffed animals) with a claw mechanism hanging overhead. The player pays a few coins into the machine and maneuvers the claw over a desired prize. The claw will descend and "attempt" to grab the prize for retrieval, but to ensure a favorable revenue for the machine operator, there is often a hidden percentage chance that the claw will not fully close. This is a frustrating experience for the player (e.g. Cueball). Remote manipulator arms are also used for handling dangerous items, but the arcade claw machine was not implemented for the purpose of safety.

===Title text: Riding a horse through the mall===
A mall, in a historical context, refers to a large open walkway, such as the {{w|National Mall}}, where one could conceivably enter with a horse, although it was considered inappropriate to do so. However, it appears Cueball and Megan are referring to a {{w|shopping mall}}, where a shopper entering with a horse was never a regular occurrence{{Citation needed}}, at least in universes where there isn’t {{what if|34|a horse in aisle five}}.

==Transcript==
{{incomplete transcript|Do NOT delete this tag too soon.}}

:[Megan and Cueball are having a conversation]
:Megan: What do you miss most about life before the Pandemic?
:Cueball: I can barely remember it.

:Megan: I miss going scuba diving without having to wear a mask.
:Cueball: I miss free refills at gas stations.
:Megan: I miss grilling in the Library.

:[Close-up on Megan, Cueball's voice comes from off-panel, to the right.]
:Megan: I miss when tennis players didn't have to have that safety net between them.
:Cueball: I miss indoor fireworks.

:[Return to seeing them both, they are now walking to the right while talking]
:Megan: I miss when arcades let you take toys from the bin with your hand instead of using that stupid claw.
:Cueball: Ugh, I hate that thing.
:Megan: I can't wait for a vaccine.

{{comic discussion}}
[[Category:COVID-19]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Cueball]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Megan]]

2216: Percent Milkfat

2019-10-17T06:11:00Z

Sjö: /* Explanation */ {{Citation needed}}, for a smile

{{comic
| number = 2216
| date = October 16, 2019
| title = Percent Milkfat
| image = percent_milkfat.png
| titletext = "So what's dark energy?" "Cosmologists and the FDA are both trying very hard to find out."
}}

==Explanation==
{{incomplete|Created by a DARK MATTER COW. Please mention here why this explanation isn't complete. Do NOT delete this tag too soon.}}

Whole milk is a dairy product which contains all of its naturally occurring {{w|Butterfat|milkfat}}. Whole milk generally contains about [https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/wonk/wp/2014/10/03/whole-milk-is-actually-3-5-milk-whats-up-with-that/ 3.5% milkfat] by weight, according to the comic and some sources; [https://milklife.com/articles/nutrition/types-of-dairy-milk other sources] list similar but not identical numbers such as 3.25%.

Dairies commonly sell whole milk as well as products with less fat produced by removing milkfat. {{w|Fat_content_of_milk#United_States|In the United States}}, there are three common products with less fat: 2% or "reduced fat" milk, 1% or "lowfat" milk, and "fat-free" or "skim" milk with 0 to 0.5% milkfat.

Since whole milk is labeled as "whole" (or "Vitamin D") milk and not as "3.5% milk," one might naively assume that whole milk is 100% milkfat, though this is not the case; 100% would be a product which is entirely milkfat (also known as butterfat), such as {{w|clarified butter}} or ghee. In milk, {{w|Milk#Nutrition and health|the remainder}} is mainly water along with proteins, lactose (a sugar), and other substances.

The comic analogizes this difference to the fact that physicists believe "ordinary" matter only constitutes 5% of the actual mass-energy of the universe. Scientists predict the existence of another kind of matter known as "{{w|dark matter}}," invisible to our current instruments but exerting gravitational force on ordinary matter, which would constitute 85% of total matter and 27% of the universe's mass-energy, with the remainder an even less detectable and more mysterious "{{w|dark energy}}" accounting for the increasing speed of {{w|expansion of the universe}}.

[[Ponytail]] uses these quantities to "explain" the "missing" percentage in whole milk between the actual 3.5% and a potential 100% "whole."

{{w|Physical cosmology|Cosmologists}} are working to better understand dark energy or another reason for the universe's accelerating expansion. The title text supposes that both cosmologists and the {{w|Food and Drug Administration}} (FDA), which regulates milk and other food items in the United States, are trying to understand the dark energy of the whole milk. In real life, the work of cosmologists and FDA scientists does not overlap at all.{{Citation needed}}

==Transcript==
[Ponytail and [[Cueball]] are talking.]

:Ponytail: "2% milk" is 2% milkfat. But "whole milk" isn't 100% milkfat–it's 3.5%.
:Cueball: Weird. What's the rest of it?
:Ponytail: About 27% is dark matter. The remainder is dark energy.

{{comic discussion}}
[[Category:Comics featuring Cueball]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Ponytail]]

2097: Thor Tools

2019-01-14T17:24:28Z

Sjö: wrong: not only in the Scandinavian languages, and not spelled with an h in all of then

{{comic
| number = 2097
| date = January 11, 2019
| title = Thor Tools
| image = thor_tools.png
| titletext = CORRECTION: After careful evaluation, we have determined that the axis label on this chart was printed backward.
}}

==Explanation==
{{incomplete|Add a list of the tools in the comic. Do NOT delete this tag too soon.}}

In Norse mythology, {{w|Thor}} is the name of a god of thunder and lightning. His signature weapon is a magic hammer called {{w|Mjölnir}}. In popular culture Thor might be best known for his role in {{w|Thor (Marvel Comics)|Marvel comics and films}}, which his appearance here seems to be referencing. In the Marvel Cinematic Universe movie, Avengers: Infinity War, Thor also wields an axe named Stormbreaker.

Although this hammer was historically a weapon, this comic interprets it as it would more commonly be interpeted today -- as a tool. The comic is listing various hand tools in order of utility and viability as Thor's weapon, besides his actual, enchanted hammer. Hammers are heavy, blunt, and can do large amounts of damage to an opponent, whereas a hand plane is sharp, but only in one place, and will only inflict surface wounds.

Some of these tools require power, which would generally require Thor to stay near an outlet or keep a battery charging, such as the circular saw, or Dremel. However, being the god of lightning may allow him to circumvent this, by producing electricity for the direct current (D.C.) tools, although he would need an inverter to convert the lightning (D.C.) to alternating current (A.C.) for the tools requiring it. Thor would also need compressed air for the nail gun or jackhammer, only allowing Thor so many shots before reloading the air tank at an outlet, or via a concentrated wind storm.

The nail gun and staple gun would also require nails or staples respectively to function as a weapon. Although Mjölnir is believed to return to Thor if thrown, it's not clear how similar system could work with nails and staples.

The usefulness of the nail gun as a weapon might depend on whether it was an older one that can be bump-fired or a newer one that requires a separate trigger pull for each nail.

In the title text, [[Randall]] writes that the order of the axis label should be reversed, making the plane the best tool and Mjölnir the worst. Considering that the title of the comic is "Thor Tools" ("tools", instead of "weapons"), the argument seems to be that a hammer is less useful than the rest, by seeing them as tools and not as weapons.

A few other interpretations of this could be:
* Randall proposes that Thor armed with a plane or digital calipers would be much more fearsome than with a hammer.
* The "value" of the more strange-seeming items would be much higher than his traditional hammer, perhaps more gory or more humorous.
* Thor tends to cause collateral damage, and would cause less with a plane or calipers.
* "Best" and "worst" are to be interpreted for Thor's enemies rather than Thor himself.
* Randall might just find the idea of Thor wielding a Plane as a weapon to be really funny.

The title may be a reference to Gary Larson's ''The Far Side'' comic, ''Cow Tools''.

===List of tools===

All shown tools are explained below:
;Hammer
:A {{w|hammer}} ''is a tool consisting of a weighted "head" fixed to a long handle that is swung to deliver an impact to a small area of an object''. Thor was a hammer-wielding god and produced the lighting by using this tool. A {{w|war hammer}} was an actual blunt weapon used for combat in medieval times, and is the original Thor's attribute. There exists a variety of craftsman's hammers designed for specific purposes which can be used as weapons of opportunity to various degrees, depending on the tool's size, weight and material.
;Axe
:An {{w|axe}} or just ax is another old human tool used to split and cut wood, but it also was used as a dangerous weapon in the medieval times. The battle-axes of old were of considerably different design than the woodworking ones, being lighter and having thinner and wider blades. Even though, a woodworking axe could be a formidable weapon of opportunity.
;Claw hammer
:A {{w|claw hammer}} is a hammer tool primarily used for driving nails into other objects, but also for pulling nails from them. This item seems a bit redundant in the presence of a general hammer on the axis, but could be seen as more scary because it has a pointed, curved and split back head (used for pulling nails). In fact, the usefulness of its back head for combat is debatable at least. On the other hand, it is smaller and lighter than some other craftman's hammers, and less scary than a true war hammer, so its place on the axis may be justified.
;Circular saw
:A {{w|circular saw}} is using a, mostly electric powered, fast-revolving toothed disc to cut materials. A stationary version is called a ''table saw'' but the figure of Thor drawn above presents him using a lighter hand-held version making a buzzing sound. Since the power of the saw is far beyond the human power it is quite a dangerous tool and could be fatal to the user himself. However, it would be rather unwieldy in combat, as it is quite heavy and bulky, and usually requires both hands to operate. Also, electric circular saw would be limited by its cord length, however cordless (battery-operated) saws exist today. This item could be a mock reference to a common trope in horror movies or computer games, when a {{w|chainsaw}} (not a circular saw) is used a weapon.
;Shovel
:A {{w|shovel}} is also a historic tool. It can be used to dig into the ground, move snow or dirt, harvest, and much more. Because it has a relatively thin, sharp metal blade at the end of a pole, it can be used as a weapon of opportunity. Indeed, a small (sometimes foldable), sturdy {{w|Entrenching tool|spade}} was and still is a standard issue item for an infantryman in some countries, intended mainly for entrenching work, but also usable as a weapon – and the soldiers are trained to use it as such, sometimes to a high skill, specifically among special forces. It is rumored that Russian Spetznaz operators are specifically trained to use their spades as throwing weapons. It is therefore more useful in combat than a circular saw – but may be seen as less scary.
;Jackhammer
:A {{w|jackhammer}} is a power tool used to drill and crush hard but brittle materials like stone, concrete etc. It has heavy body with a protruding shaft that makes hard and rapid back-and-forth (and optionally also rotary) movements that drive an implement (a drill, a chisel etc.) into the worked material. Like the circular saw jackhammer is a tool that is powered far beyond single human capabilities. Most jackhammers are very heavy and can be reasonably used only in a facing-down position to work on floors, pavements and other near-horizontal surfaces, nullifying combat application. However, since Thor is purportedly very strong, he may be able to hold it horizontally for some combat...
;Socket wrench
:A handle attached to a {{w|socket wrench}} is mostly used to tighten bolts or nuts. But since it is quite heavy and resembles a hammer it could also be used in a similar fashion. It may be a self-reference to [[538: Security|comic 538]].
;Bolt cutters
:{{w|Bolt cutters}} are cutters with very long handles, typically 2 or 3 feet long, and comparatively tiny jaws. The length of the handles provides the user enough mechanical advantage to sheer through things like bolts, chain links, and lock shackles. Although this tool can cut some fairly tough objects, its usefulness in combat is limited – as far as the cutting action goes at least. On the other hand they are quite heavy and can be used as a blunt weapon.
;Hacksaw
:A {{w|hacksaw}} is a type of hand saw with very small teeth. Hacksaws are well suited to cutting materials like metal and plastic, where the larger teeth of a wood saw would tend to bind or damage the material around the cut. Hacksaw blades are fairly unlikely to seriously injure people, though a hacksaw may be useful against metal baddies like Ultron.
;Nail gun
:A {{w|nail gun}} is a tool for driving nails or other fasteners into various materials ranging from soft wood to hard concrete by a single powerful "shot" to the nail being driven. There are models powered by compressed air, electricity (several types of mechanisms) or explosive charges similar to firearm ammunition (most often compatible with {{w|.22 Short}} blank cartridges). They are normally used by slightly pushing the "nozzle" against an object, disengaging a safety nose contact mechanism, and pulling the trigger. These are quite dangerous tools and can be potentially modified – by removing safety mechanisms – to act similarly to a handgun, shooting nails as high-speed projectiles. It's place in the middle of the axis seems not right compared to the work hazard level of other tools placed left of it. If safety mechanisms are left intact, a nail gun would need to be used in close combat by pressing it against an opponent which would make it difficult to apply, but if applied successfully it would inflict grievous wounds.
;Staple gun
: A {{w|staple gun}} is a tool used to drive {{w|Staple (fastener)|staples}} (C-shaped pieces of hard wire) into relatively soft materials such as wood, plastics and light masonry in order to fix something to them. There exist spring-loaded hand-operated staple guns as well as power ones utilizing either electricity or compressed air. The power discharged during staple action is a lot less than that of a nail gun and would inflict minor skin wounds at most. If one manages to eject a staple into the air (not against an object) it won't travel very far. A figure of Thor is drawn above the axis showing him using a staple gun this way, with staples falling short onto the ground. The gun held by Thor makes ''kachunk'' sounds characteristic for a spring-loaded version of the tool.
;Coping saw
: A coping saw is a hand saw with a thin replaceable blade and is used to cut curves and shapes in wood or other relatively soft materials. While it could produce a surface wound and draw blood, a person would generally not stand still long enough to be seriously hurt by being sawed at by a coping saw, plus they could bend or break the blade relatively easily.
;Screwdriver (flat)
:A (flat) {{w|screwdriver}} is a metal rod with a handle, flattened and ground at the other end to form a fairly sharp but short edge perpendicular to the rod. It is normally used to drive {{w|Screw|screws}} into a material, by putting the edge into a groove on the screw's head and turning it while pressing firmly. It is not very dangerous normally, but many people have cut their fingers while driving screws in. It could potentially be used as a stabbing weapon similarly to a dagger, but much less effectively, or alternatively the heavy handle may be used as a bludgeon, though the smooth rod would be difficult to grip. Some nations seem to regard it so much dangerous as to ban its possession in public along knives.
;Ball-peen hammer
: Like a regular hammer, a ball-peen hammer has a flat head designed to hammer things like nail. However instead of the "claw" a regular carpenter's hammer has to pull out nails, it has a second head that is shaped like a ball and which is used to bang surfaces such as sheet metal directly. A ball-peen hammer probably the smallest of hammers, and usually used for more delicate work. Thor's Hammer has two flat surfaces for pounding (no claw), so a ball peen might be like a smaller Thor's Hammer and could be pretty deadly in his hands. The ball part would probably not be any more or less effective than the flat part, except it might bounce or deflect off some surfaces where a flat one might not.
;Screwdriver (Phillips)
:Similar to a flat screwdriver, but with a cross-shaped tip, designed to drive screws with matching cross-shaped heads. While a Phillips screwdriver could potentially be used as an improvised weapon to stab or strike like a flat screwdriver, the blunter, cross shape is less likely to inflict cutting injury, likely leading to its lower position on the list.
;Awl
:An {{w|Stitching awl|awl}} is a hand tool, basically a rather short, thin, sharp (sometimes curved) spike with a handle. It is used for punching holes through soft material (leather, fabrics) or to {{w|Scratch awl|mark points}} or lines on wood or metal to assist further work such as cutting or drilling. In a pinch, it could be used as a stabbing weapon like a dagger, but a screwdriver is more sturdy for such purpose.
;Digital Caliper
:{{w|Digital calipers}} are an instrument for precisely measuring the dimensions of small objects. Typically, digital calipers can measure inner diameters, outer diameters, and depth. The reason they are considered more formidable than Dremels and planes is likely how supprisingly sharp the calipers are. They need to be sharp to make accurate measurements, but it is not uncommon for people to cut themselves while using a digital caliper.
;Dremel
:Dremel is a brand name (often used in a generic sense) of small {{w|Die grinder|rotary power tools}} that can be used in precise work involving small objects such as engraving, milling, drilling, grinding, cutting, polishing etc. It consists of a relatively small and lightweight body housing a high-speed electric motor driving a shaft equipped with a {{w|Chuck (engineering)|chuck}}. Various implements can be fixed to the chuck – drills, milling cutters of various shapes, small cutting disks, grinding stones, brushes, soft polishing disks etc. Typically the tool is used handheld against an object held in a vice. It can also be mounted in a stand with a {{w|flexible shaft}} attached, at the other end of which an implement is fixed in a chuck, allowing for still more precise work. A Dremel would be rather useless in combat, effecting in superficial wounds only. It could be seen as a baby circular saw, therefore much less scary and placed much more to the right of the scale. However, it is still a heavy object with a firm grip, and could plausibly be wielded as a bludgeon, making it slightly more effective than a plane.
;Plane
:A {{w|Plane_(tool)|hand plane}} is a tool for shaping wood using muscle power to force the cutting blade over the wood surface. It is designed to scrape layers of wood off the surface. While a plane does have a sharp edge and can cause painful injuries if misused, its awkward shape and the small size of the cutting edge would make it impractical to wield and nearly useless as a combat weapon, even for bludgeoning. A hand plane could plausibly be used as a particularly brutal ''torture'' device on a restrained victim, but as Thor is typically depicted as an honorable and heroic character it is unlikely that he would use one in this manner.

==Transcript==

:[A wide image is shown in a single frame.]
:Hand tools Thor could have ended up with
:[Below is a small centered horizontal line with arrows at both ends, labeled "Best" to the left and "Worst" on the right.]

:[The rest of the image shows an other horizontal line in the middle, also with arrows at both ends, covering the full width. Items are marked by a dot with a text above or below, and sometimes a figure wearing a winged helmet, above the line, uses a tool mentioned below:]
:Hammer
:Axe
:Claw hammer
:Circular saw
:[Above, the winged helmet guy uses a circular saw:]
:''Bzzzz zzzz''
:Shovel
:Jackhammer
:Socket wrench
:[Above, the winged helmet guy spins the socket of a socket wrench with a tiny sound.]
:Bolt cutters
:Hacksaw
:Nail gun
:Staple gun
:[Above, the winged helmet guy fires staples into the ground in front of him:]
:''Kachunk kachunk''
:Coping saw
:Screwdriver (flat)
:Ball-peen hammer
:Screwdriver (Phillips)
:Awl
:Digital Caliper
:Dremel
:[Above, the winged helmet guy shows a running Dremel to the left:]
:''Bzzzzz''
:Plane

{{comic discussion}}

1957: 2018 CVE List

2018-02-19T11:47:28Z

Sjö: /* Explanation */ trench

{{comic
| number = 1957
| date = February 19, 2018
| title = 2018 CVE List
| image = 2018_cve_list.png
| titletext = CVE-2018-?????: It turns out Bruce Schneier is just two mischevious kids in a trenchcoat.
}}

==Explanation==
{{incomplete|Created by HACKING THIS WIKI VIA THE EDIT BOX - The explanation looks like a list. Explain the comic and put the security vulnerabilities in a table. Do NOT delete this tag too soon.}}

{|class="wikitable"
! style="width: 30%;" | Security Vulnerability
! style="width: 70%;" | Notes
|-
|Apple products crash when displaying certain Telugu or Bengali letter combinations.
|This refers to a real vulnerability in iOS and MacOS publicized a few days before the comic released <ref>https://techcrunch.com/2018/02/15/iphone-text-bomb-ios-mac-crash-apple/</ref>.
|-
|An attacker can use a timing attack to extploit[sic] a race condition in garbage collection to extract a limited number of bits from the Wikipedia article on Claude Shannon.
|Timing Attack to exploit a race condition in garbage collection refers to Meltdown and Spectre CPU flaws that can be exploited in cloud server like the ones in Wikipedia. Claude Shannon was an early and highly influential information scientist whose work underlies compression, encryption, security, and the theory behind how information is encoded into binary digits - hence the pertinence of extracting just some of the bits from his Wikipedia entry.
|-
|At the cafe on third street, the post-it note with the wifi password is visible from the sidewalk.
|Writing passwords in a visible place is a major security flaw. For instance, following the [[wikipedia:2018 Hawaii false missile alert|2018 Hawaii false missile alert]] the agency received criticism for a press photo showing a password written on a sticky note attached to a monitor.<ref>http://uk.businessinsider.com/hawaii-emergency-agency-password-discovered-in-photo-sparks-security-criticism-2018-1?r=US&IR=T</ref> However, if a cafe posts their wifi password for customers then having it visible through the window as well presents a very minor reduction in security.
|-
|A remote attacker can inject arbitrary text into public-facing pages via the comments box.
|Describes a common feature on news sites or social media sites like Facebook. The possibility for users to "inject" text into the page is by design. This is a humorous reference to the relatively common security vulnerability "[[Wikipedia:Cross-site_scripting|persistent cross-site scripting]]", where input provided by the user is displayed to other users in a dangerous fashion that allows attackers to inject arbitrary HTML or Javascript code into e.g. a comment section. It might also be a humorous reference to the events before, during and after the 2016 US Presidential elections where Internet Research Agency employees based remotely in St. Petersburg, Russia, but disguised as US citizens, "injected" arbitrary text in the form of political propaganda into comments on multiple web sites, according to an indictment returned by a federal grand jury on February 16, 2018.
|-
|MySQL server 55.45 secretly runs two parallel databases for people who say "S-Q-L" and "sequel."
|Some people pronounce "SQL" like "sequel", after SQL's predecessor "SEQUEL (Structured English Query Language)". The standard for SQL suggests that it should be pronounced as separate letters; however, the author of SQL pronounces it "sequel", so the debate is persisting (with even more justification than arguments about how to pronounce "GIF"). MySQL is an open-source relational database management system, the latest GA version (at the time of writing) is MySQL 5.7.
|-
|A flaw in some x86 CPUs could allow a root user to de-escalate to normal account privileges.
|This vulnerability refers to DOM0 attacks on Virtualization CPUs, regulary escalate from normal(few privileges) to root (full privileges), this is the inverse.
|-
|Apple products catch fire when displaying emoji with diacritics.
|Diacritics are the accents found on letters in some languages (eg. č, ģ ķ, ļ, ņ, š, ž). These would not be found on emojis. It is also a reference to a common problem of modern gadgets catching fire.
|-
|An oversight in the rules allows a dog to join a basketball team.
|This likely refers to the movie Air Bud. It's a movie about a dog playing basketball {{w|Air Bud}}. This has been a common theme in xkcd comics, see [[115: Meerkat]], [[1439: Rack Unit]], [[1819: Sweet 16]], [[1552: Rulebook]]
|-
|Haskell isn't side-effect-free after all; the effects are all just concentrated in this one. Computer in Missouri that no one's checked on in a while.
|Haskell is a functional programming language, functional programming is characterized by using functions that dont have side effects in other parts of the program.
|-
|Nobody really knows how hypervisors work.
|Virtualization programing is hard, Meltdown and Specter are related to this
|-
|CRITICAL: Under Linux 3.14.8 on System/390 in a UTC+14 time zone, a local user could potentially use a buffer overflow to change another user's default system clock from 12-hour to 24-hour.
|Jokes about arcane systems that are running linux, that have bugs that nobody can replicate because there are no more machines on this type where reproduce the bug to fix it. UTC+14 is also a time zone used only on some islands in the Pacific Ocean, i.e., [[Wikipedia:Line_Islands|the Line Islands]], and is also the earliest time zone on earth.
|-
|x86 has way too many instructions.
|The x86 architecture is considered "CISC" (a "complex instruction set computer"), having many instructions originally provided to make programming by a human simpler; other examples include the 68000 series used in the first Apple Mac. In the 1980s, this design philosophy was countered by the "RISC" ("reduced instruction set computer") design movement exemplified by SPARC, MIPS, PowerPC (previously used by Apple) and the ARM chips common in mobile phones - based on the observation that computer programs were increasingly generated by compilers (which only used a few instructions) rather than directly by people, and that the chip area dedicated to extra instructions could be better dedicated to, for example, cache. At the time, there was an internet war about the merits of each approach (with the Mac and PC being on different sides, at one time; owners of other competing systems such as the Archimedes and Amiga had similar arguments on usenet in the early 1990s); this "issue" may be posted by someone who still recalls these debates. Technically, the extra instructions do slightly complicate the task of validating correct chip behaviour and complicate the tool chains that manage software, which could be seen as a minor security risk; however, the 64-bit architecture introduced by AMD and since adopted by Intel does rationalise things somewhat, and all recent x86 chips break down instructions into RISC-like micro-operations, so the complication from a hardware perspective is localised. Recent security issues such as the speculative cache load issue in Meltdown and Spectre depend more on details of implementation rather than instruction set, and have been exhibited both by x86 (CISC) and ARM (RISC) processors.
|-
|Numpy 1.8.0 can factor primes in O(log n) time and must be quietly deprecated before anyone notices.
|NumPy is the fundamental package for scientific computing with Python. If something can find the prime factors of a number this quickly, there are attacks to break many crypto functions used in internet security. However, prime numbers have only a single factor, and "factoring primes" quickly is a simpler problem.
|-
|Apple products grant remote access if you send them words that break the "I before E" rule.
|Another joke on the first CVE and a common English writing rule of thumb, which fails almost as often as it succeeds.
|-
|Skylake x86 chips can be pried from their sockets using certain flathead screwdrivers.
|Skylake x86 chips are a line of microprocessors, yes, you can remove forcefully any processor from his socket with a screwdriver, there are many reports from people not using common sense.
|-
|Apparently Linus Torvalds can be bribed pretty easily.
|Linux Torvals is the benevolent dictator of the Linux kernel codebase, normally it is hard to pass a change because he has the last word about what merge to the code base because that code is replicated in all linux installations, but apparently he is easy to bribe, that is a severe critical vulnerability to all linux server and machines
|-
|An attacker can execute malicious code on their own machine and no one can stop them.
|The point of an attack is to make someone else's machine perform actions against the owner's will. Anyone can make their own machine execute any code, but this would usually not be described as an attack.
|-
|Apple products execute any code printed over a photo of a dog with a saddle and a baby riding it.
|This could refer to a CVE vulnerability of JPG files where javascript is executed by some application, only this time is in a printed photo instead of a file .
|-
|Under rare circumstances, a flaw in some versions of Windows could allow Flash to be installed.
|This is another common CVE description, Flash was discontinued because is abismal security record. All security experts advise against install.
|-
|Turns out the cloud is just other people's computers.
|This refers to a computer meme where replace "cloud" with "other people's computers" must be used in all marketing presentation to CEOs and not computer literate persons to evaluate the security impact of using "Cloud services"
|-
|A flaw in Mitre's CVE database allows arbitrary code insertion.[~~CLICK HERE FOR CHEAP VIAGRA~~]
|Mitre's CVE database is the database where all CVE are listed, this is a joke between the 4th CVE in this list pointing that the site is also vulnerable
|-
|It turns out Bruce Schneier is just two mischievous kids in a trenchcoat. (title text)
|Bruce Schneier is a conceptual fictional character, who is a security researcher. His work is produced by a loose collective of anonymous contributors. The "two kids in a trenchcoat" is a reference to the Totem Pole Trench trope.<ref>[http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/TotemPoleTrench TV Tropes:Totem Pole Trench trope]</ref>
|}

== References ==
<references/>

==Transcript==
{{incomplete transcript|Do NOT delete this tag too soon.}}

LEAKED LIST OF MAJOR 2018 SECURITY VULNERABILITIES

CVE-2018-????? Apple products crash when displaying certain Telugu or Bengali letter combinations.

CVE-2018-????? An attacker can use a timing attack to extploit[sic] a race condition in garbage collection to extract a limited number of bits from the Wikipedia article on Claude Shannon.

CVE-2018-????? At the cafe on third street, the post-it note with the wifi password is visible from the sidewalk.

CVE-2018-????? A remote attacker can inject arbitrary text into public-facing pages via the comments box.

CVE-2018-????? MySQL server 55.45 secretly runs two parallel databases for people who say "S-Q-L" and "sequel."

CVE-2018-????? A flaw in some x86 CPUs could allow a root user to de-escalate to normal account privileges.

CVE-2018-????? Apple products catch fire when displaying emoji with diacritics.

CVE-2018-????? An oversight in the rules allows a dog to join a basketball team.

CUE-2018-????? Haskell isn't side-effect-free after all; the effects are all just concentrated in this one. Computer in Missouri that no one's checked on in a while.

CVE-2018-????? Nobody really knows how hypervisors work.

CVE-2018-????? CRITICAL: Under Linux 3.14.8 on System/390 in a UTC+14 time zone, a local user could potentially use a buffer overflow to change another user's default system clock from 12-hour to 24-hour.

CVE-2018-????? x86 has way too many instructions.

CVE-2018-????? Numpy 1.8.0 can factor primes in O(log n) time and must be quietly deprecated before anyone notices.

CVE-2018-????? Apple products grant remote access if you send them words that break the "I before E" rule.

CVE-2018-????? Skylake x86 chips can be pried from their sockets using certain flathead screwdrivers.

CVE-2018-????? Apparently Linus Torvalds can be bribed pretty easily.

CVE-2018-????? An attacker can execute malicious code on their own machine and no one can stop them.

CVE-2018-????? Apple products execute any code printed over a photo of a dog with a saddle and a baby riding it.

CVE-2018-????? Under rare circumstances, a flaw in some versions of Windows could allow Flash to be installed.

CVE-2018-????? Turns out the cloud is just other people's computers.

CVE-2018-????? A flaw in Mitre's CVE database allows arbitrary code insertion.[~~CLICK HERE FOR CHEAP VIAGRA~~]

{{comic discussion}}