explain xkcd - User contributions [en]

2799: Frankenstein Claim Permutations

2024-05-20T19:25:47Z

SteveMB: /* Explanation */

{{comic
| number = 2799
| date = July 7, 2023
| title = Frankenstein Claim Permutations
| image = frankenstein_claim_permutations_2x.png
| imagesize = 596x612px
| noexpand = true
| titletext = When I began trying to form a new claim by stitching together these parts in such an unnatural way, some called me mad.
}}

==Explanation==
''{{w|Frankenstein}}'' is an 1818 novel by Mary Shelley about a young scientist named Victor Frankenstein who creates a sapient, humanoid lifeform through an unorthodox experiment, and then rejects his creation, which eventually turns on him. The novel is a classic in both the horror and speculative fiction genres, and has been argued to represent the first major example of true science fiction in literature. The lifeform he creates is never named in the original novel, only being referred to as "the Creature".

In the two centuries since the novel's publication, the story and its characters have been adapted and reused in various forms, and the term "Frankenstein" has come to be commonly used to refer to the creature, rather than the scientist who created him. Literary didacts are often quick to point out this error, but are generally ignored, as the name has become accepted, common usage. The debate has become something of a meme. The Creature himself, at one point, refers to himself as effectively being Frankenstein's son, which could imply he wishes to carry the same name; at the same time, Doctor Frankenstein does not treat his creation with such a level of humanity and speaks as if the Creature is completely nameless. To this day the debate continues among literary analysts whether the Creature should remain nameless for these reasons. These disputes have previously been touched upon in [[1589: Frankenstein]] and [[2604: Frankenstein Captcha]]

The title text points out that he's "stitching together" various claims to create something new, and people consider him mad as a result. This refers to the notion of Frankenstein's creation having been stitched together from dead bodies, and Dr. Frankenstein himself being denounced as a madman. It should be noted that these perceptions come from later adaptations (most notably {{w|Frankenstein_(1931_film)|the 1931 film}}) rather than the original novel, but have become closely associated with the Frankenstein mythos. Following similar meta-textual logic, the title "Frankenstein Claim Permutations" is a double entendre, meaning both (1) permutations of claims regarding the novel ''Frankenstein'' and (2) permutations of claims of a Frankenstein nature (i.e. a franken-claim) in that they are formed by haphazardly joining together different parts.

This comic explores the possible [[wikipedia:Permutation|permutations]] that can be made by matching the names of Mary Shelley, Frankenstein, and '?' (for the unnamed monster) to the positions of author, creator, and monster. The positions are indicated in the drawing by a circle to the left of the book for the author, a box on the left-hand page for the creator, and a labeled picture of the monster lying under a sheet (the traditional image of the monster before being animated) for the monster. Three elements can be arranged in six different ways, as the first element can be placed in any of the three positions, the second in either of the two remaining, and the last in the only remaining space, giving 3 x 2 x 1 options. The same concept was used in [[1613: The Three Laws of Robotics]], where Randall depicted six possible permutations of the {{w|Three Laws of Robotics}}.

{| class="wikitable"
|- style = "text-align: center;"
!Claim!!Notes!!Permutation!!Explanation
|-
|"No, the monster in Mary Shelley's book is unnamed. Frankenstein is the doctor who created him."||This is the normal claim||MS-F-?||This is the claim that is generally considered correct. The POV character of the novel is, in fact, Victor Frankenstein. The monster is never given a name, although some fans name him Adam because of a line he speaks to Victor: "'I ought to be thy Adam, but I am rather the fallen angel, whom thou drivest from joy". The only error in this claim is referring to Victor as a doctor. (In the novel, Victor has not finished his schooling, returning home before finishing his education at the University of Ingolstadt.)
|-
|"No, the monster in Mary Shelley's novel is named Frankenstein."||Also common, and not worth getting mad about IMO||MS-?-F||This is a common misconception, but Randall believes it's not something to get upset about, either because he has decided it's not {{wiktionary|hill to die on|a hill worth dying on}} or that, since everyone calls the monster "Frankenstein", it is ''de facto'' for all intents and purposes his name. Randall has previously touched upon this in comics [[1589: Frankenstein]] and [[2604: Frankenstein Captcha]]. This permutation places the '?' in the creator position, and so avoids talking about the doctor's name at all.
Alternatively, the statement could be taken as an argument that Frankenstein should be considered the "monster" because he created and then abandoned a sentient being.
|-
|"No, Frankenstein is the name of the author. The monster Mary Shelley created is unnamed."||At a glance this could pass for one of the normal claims||F-MS-?||This statement, Randall says, is so much like the first two that he says it could pass for one of the normal claims. He could also mean that while slightly stretching the meaning of those words, Mary Shelley did "create" the monster (as it's a character in the book she wrote) and Frankenstein is the "author" (creator) of the monster. Alternately, one can consider the story a mostly first hand account of Victor's exploits, as it is initially told to the book's opening narrator (the otherwise sidelined Captain Robert Walton), with Mary having created Monster, Victor, the Captain and all others within the novel (of the Captain's tale of Victor's tale of the apparent nature of the Monster).
This could also be a reference to a tweet[https://twitter.com/MedCrisis/status/1511644464544104452] featuring a photo of a collection of classic books[https://i.redd.it/bnab4cu39dqa1.jpg] in which "Frankenstein" is printed in the position and format of the author's name for the other books of the collection, while "Mary Shelley" is printed in the title position.
|-
|"No one knows who wrote the novel about Doctor Mary Shelley creating the monster Frankenstein."||I would read this book||?-MS-F|| This statement combines the second claim (that Frankenstein is the monster's name) with the third claim (that Mary Shelley created the monster). This time, however, it is claimed that the ''author'' is unknown, while the monster is named. A novel about author Mary Shelley getting a doctorate and actually creating the creature she wrote about could be an interesting twist on the story, hence Randall's comment that he would read this book.
|-
|"No, Frankenstein is the name of the doctor. The monster he created is Mary Shelley."||rowspan=2|Fully chaotic||?-F-MS|| This claim is similar to the others, in that it twists the ordering of the components (author, doctor, monster), but this time it gets the doctor's name correct whilst insinuating that Mary Shelley was the monster he created. This is described as "fully chaotic", likely because the idea of the real-life human author being created by a doctor in the story that was written by her is much more absurd and much further from any solid literary footing than the others.
|-
|"No, the doctor who creates Mary Shelley in Frankenstein's novel doesn't have a name."||F-?-MS||Possible Doctor Who reference.
|}

==Transcript==
[A two-column table.]
{| class="wikitable"
|- style = "text-align: center;"
|Claim||Notes
|-
|[Open book. Left page says "F", right page shows the monster labeled "?". Arrow pointing to book says "by MS".] "No, the monster in Mary Shelley's book is unnamed. Frankenstein is the doctor who created him."||This is the normal claim
|-
|[Open book. Left page says "?", right page shows the monster labeled "F". Arrow pointing to book says "by MS".] "No, the monster in Mary Shelley's novel is named Frankenstein."||Also common, and not worth getting mad about IMO
|-
|[Open book. Left page says "MS", right page shows the monster labeled "?". Arrow pointing to book says "by F".] "No, Frankenstein is the name of the author. The monster Mary Shelley created is unnamed."||At a glance this could pass for one of the normal claims
|-
|[Open book. Left page says "MS", right page shows the monster labeled "F". Arrow pointing to book says "by ?".] "No one knows who wrote the novel about Doctor Mary Shelley creating the monster Frankenstein."||I would read this book
|-
|[Open book. Left page says "F", right page shows the monster (with longer hair) labeled "MS". Arrow pointing to book says "by ?".] "No, Frankenstein is the name of the doctor. The monster he created is Mary Shelley."||rowspan=2|Fully chaotic
|-
|[Open book. Left page says "?", right page shows the monster (with longer hair) labeled "MS". Arrow pointing to book says "by F".] "No, the doctor who creates Mary Shelley in Frankenstein's novel doesn't have a name."
|}
[[Category:Frankenstein]]
[[Category:Fiction]]
{{comic discussion}}

2821: Path Minimization

2023-08-29T02:54:07Z

SteveMB: /* Explanation */

{{comic
| number = 2821
| date = August 28, 2023
| title = Path Minimization
| image = path_minimization_2x.png
| imagesize = 562x559px
| noexpand = true
| titletext = Of course you get an ice cream cone for the swimmer too! You're not a monster.
}}

==Explanation==
{{incomplete|Created by a BOT - Please change this comment when editing this page. Do NOT delete this tag too soon.}}

In this comic, it appears that Cueball, standing on shore, is observing a swimmer who is presumably in distress. The comic illustrates 5 potential paths that can be taken to reach the swimmer, each with a different reason to make them viable.

The first path is a 45° angle away from Cueball, straight to the swimmer, which allows for the minimum possible distance to be traveled.

The second path travels at a 30° from Cueball to the water and then at a 20° angle to the swimmer. This path would take the shortest amount of time, since Cueball would cover more of the distance on land (moving faster) and less of the distance through water (moving slower). The exact angles would depend on how much faster Cueball is on land than in the water.

The third path travels at roughly a 23.2° angle to the water followed by a swimming path perpendicular to the shoreline, maximizing the amount of time spent on land and thus minimizing the time spent swimming. Depending on one's swimming ability versus running ability, this could be the safest path to take.

The fourth path travels horizontal, along the beach, technically moving slightly ''away'' from the swimmer, but towards an arguably more important goal: an ice cream stand in a straight line away from where Cueball is presently. After that detour, the path turns and aims towards the swimmer, as all the others do (although how one could eat ice cream whilst swimming to rescue someone, much less whilst carrying a second ice cream, is not explained).

The fifth and final path, barely visible directly above Cueball, is labeled as the path that ''maximizes'' time. This path, presumably, travels around the entire world, likely stopping for many, ''many'' rest breaks. It should be noted that, by the definition given, it is theoretically possible to stretch the maximum time taken out forever by simply walking away and never returning.

==Transcript==
{{incomplete transcript|Do NOT delete this tag too soon.}}
:Path that minimizes distance [A straight line from beach cueball to ocean cueball, bearing about 135]
:Path that minimizes time [A line from beach cueball to the waterline closer to horizontal, bearing about 120, then angling towards ocean cueball, bearing about 150]
:Path that minimizes swimming [A line from beach cueball to the waterline closest to ocean cueball, bearing about 105, then angling toward ocean cueball, bearing 180]
:Path that minimizes time until you get ice cream
:Path that maximizes time

{{comic discussion}}

[[Category:Food]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Cueball]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Ponytail]]
[[Category:Multiple Cueballs]]

778: Scheduling

2023-07-13T21:45:20Z

SteveMB: /* Explanation */

{{comic
| number = 778
| date = August 11, 2010
| title = Scheduling
| image = scheduling.png
| titletext = 'How about a little ... *family growth*?' 'Dude, that's not until round two.'
}}

==Explanation==
This comic is a take on the common plots of pornographic movies. There are several "stereotypical" setups for porn videos - the suggestive pizza deliveryman ("hot sausage" being a suggestive pun), the French maid who finds out her master is home early and the wife is still away, and the plumber who, while performing routine repairs on a woman's house, becomes enamored with her (while quoting "woman in need of plumbing" as another suggestive pun). In all cases, it is usually a simple plot in order to set the stage for the sexual encounter that comprises the main focus of the pornography. In this comic, all three of these common stereotypical plots seem to have occurred at once. Realizing that none of their intended targets for sex (ostensibly, members of the Jones family) are at home, and thus they are all in the house alone with nothing to do, one of them grabs a game of {{w|Agricola (board game)|Agricola}} off of the shelf, and they sit down to play, their confusion about this mixing of scenarios forgotten. Then the Joneses come home and are baffled by the assemblage of random professionals playing Agricola on their floor.

Agricola's objective is to build a stable family farm, contrasting with the apparently dysfunctional family in the comic.
In Agricola, one can choose among certain actions with your (very limited) "workers" (Thus it's called a worker placement game). Those actions contain for instance "Take a grain" and "Be starting player (the next round)". Other examples are "Build a fence", "Take a cow", "Plowing" and other farm-related things.

The starting player has the advantage of choosing the first item/resource/action in the next round. Once an item/action/resource is occupied by a player it can't be chosen by another player in that round. The game is easy to learn and hard to master since it needs a lot of planning and anticipating the other player's next moves. As such "scheduling" is a very important part of the game.

In the game shown, it appears that Pizza-guy has used his first move to choose "Starting Player" (for the next round), followed by Maid choosing "Take grain". Pizza-guy had previously planned to take that grain with his second action, which has now been denied by Maid. Essentially Maid is telling Pizza-guy to stop complaining, he made his decision, and too bad that his plan isn't going to work as he'd hoped (and in any case being the starting player for the next round will enable him to get the grain then).

The title text references "family growth", which could be interpreted as a cheesy euphemism for sex (in the porn-movie-plot context) or as a game mechanic for gaining another worker (in the Agricola-game context). The "not until round two" response could be used for either interpretation.

==Transcript==
:[A pizza delivery guy enters through a door and a maid is dusting.]
:Pizza guy: Pizza delivery! Did someone order a ''hot sausag—''
:Maid: Mon dieu! Monsieur is home early—
:Both: Wait, who are ''you''?

:Pizza guy: Wait, this is the Joneses', right? Their daughter was supposed to be having a party!
:Maid: No, I thought Mr. Jones was coming home early.

:[The pizza guy is off-panel left as a plumber enters from the right.]
:Pizza guy: But I thought—
:Plumber: Howdy, Mrs. Jones. I hear you need some ''plumbi''— Who are you?

:[The pizza guy looks in a cabinet; the others are off-panel right.]
:Maid: Sorry, big mixup.
:Pizza guy: Hey, check it out—the Joneses have ''Agricola''!
:Plumber: I love that game!

:[Mr. Jones and Mrs. Jones arrive home. The pizza guy, the maid, and the plumber are sitting on the floor playing Agricola.]
:Mr. Jones: What in the name of...
:Pizza guy: Dammit, ''I'' wanted that grain.
:Maid: Hush, you have starting player.

{{comic discussion}}
[[Category:Comics featuring Cueball]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Ponytail]]
[[Category:Sex]]
[[Category:Multiple Cueballs]]
[[Category:Board games]]

778: Scheduling

2023-07-13T21:43:42Z

SteveMB: /* Explanation */

{{comic
| number = 778
| date = August 11, 2010
| title = Scheduling
| image = scheduling.png
| titletext = 'How about a little ... *family growth*?' 'Dude, that's not until round two.'
}}

==Explanation==
This comic is a take on the common plots of pornographic movies. There are several "stereotypical" setups for porn videos - the suggestive pizza deliveryman ("hot sausage" being a suggestive pun), the French maid who finds out her master is home early and the wife is still away, and the plumber who, while performing routine repairs on a woman's house, becomes enamored with her (while quoting "woman in need of plumbing" as another suggestive pun). In all cases, it is usually a simple plot in order to set the stage for the sexual encounter that comprises the main focus of the pornography. In this comic, all three of these common stereotypical plots seem to have occurred at once. Realizing that none of their intended targets for sex (ostensibly, members of the Jones family) are at home, and thus they are all in the house alone with nothing to do, one of them grabs a game of {{w|Agricola (board game)|Agricola}} off of the shelf, and they sit down to play, their confusion about this mixing of scenarios forgotten. Then the Joneses come home and are baffled by the assemblage of random professionals playing Agricola on their floor.

Agricola's objective is to build a stable family farm, contrasting with the apparently dysfunctional family in the comic.
In Agricola, one can choose among certain actions with your (very limited) "workers" (Thus it's called a worker placement game). Those actions contain for instance "Take a grain" and "Be starting player (the next round)". Other examples are "Build a fence", "Take a cow", "Plowing" and other farm-related things.

The starting player has the advantage of choosing the first item/resource/action in the next round. Once an item/action/resource is occupied by a player it can't be chosen by another player in that round. The game is easy to learn and hard to master since it needs a lot of planning and anticipating the other player's next moves. As such "scheduling" is a very important part of the game.

In the game shown, it appears that Pizza-guy has used his first move to choose "Starting Player" (for the next round), followed by Maid choosing "Take grain". Pizza-guy had previously planned to take that grain with his second action, which has now been denied by Maid. Essentially Maid is telling Pizza-guy to stop complaining, he made his decision, and too bad that his plan isn't going to work as he'd hoped.

The title text references "family growth", which could be interpreted as a cheesy euphemism for sex (in the porn-movie-plot context) or as a game mechanic for gaining another worker (in the Agricola-game context). The "not until round two" response could be used for either interpretation.

==Transcript==
:[A pizza delivery guy enters through a door and a maid is dusting.]
:Pizza guy: Pizza delivery! Did someone order a ''hot sausag—''
:Maid: Mon dieu! Monsieur is home early—
:Both: Wait, who are ''you''?

:Pizza guy: Wait, this is the Joneses', right? Their daughter was supposed to be having a party!
:Maid: No, I thought Mr. Jones was coming home early.

:[The pizza guy is off-panel left as a plumber enters from the right.]
:Pizza guy: But I thought—
:Plumber: Howdy, Mrs. Jones. I hear you need some ''plumbi''— Who are you?

:[The pizza guy looks in a cabinet; the others are off-panel right.]
:Maid: Sorry, big mixup.
:Pizza guy: Hey, check it out—the Joneses have ''Agricola''!
:Plumber: I love that game!

:[Mr. Jones and Mrs. Jones arrive home. The pizza guy, the maid, and the plumber are sitting on the floor playing Agricola.]
:Mr. Jones: What in the name of...
:Pizza guy: Dammit, ''I'' wanted that grain.
:Maid: Hush, you have starting player.

{{comic discussion}}
[[Category:Comics featuring Cueball]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Ponytail]]
[[Category:Sex]]
[[Category:Multiple Cueballs]]
[[Category:Board games]]

2799: Frankenstein Claim Permutations

2023-07-10T19:08:25Z

SteveMB:

{{comic
| number = 2799
| date = July 7, 2023
| title = Frankenstein Claim Permutations
| image = frankenstein_claim_permutations_2x.png
| imagesize = 596x612px
| noexpand = true
| titletext = When I began trying to form a new claim by stitching together these parts in such an unnatural way, some called me mad.
}}

==Explanation==
{{incomplete|Created by LORD BYRON THROWS THE WEIRDEST PARTIES - Please change this comment when editing this page. Do NOT delete this tag too soon.}}

{{w|Frankenstein}} is an 1818 novel by Mary Shelley about a young scientist named Victor Frankenstein who creates a sapient, humanoid lifeform through an unorthodox experiment, and then rejects his creation, which eventually turns on him. The novel is a classic in both the horror and speculative fiction genres, and has been argued to represent the first major example of true science fiction in literature. The lifeform he creates is never named in the original novel, only being referred to as "the Creature".

In the two centuries since the novel's publication, the story and its characters have been adapted and reused in various forms, and the term "Frankenstein" has come to be commonly used to refer to the the creature, rather than the scientist who created him. Literary didacts are often quick to point out this error, but are generally ignored, as the name has become accepted, common usage. The debate has become something of a meme. (Some argue that, given that the creature refers to himself as effectively being Frankenstein's son, it makes sense that he would share the last name.) These disputes have previously been touched upon in [[1589]] and [[2604]].

The title text points out that he's "stitching together" various claims to create something new, and people consider him mad as a result. This refers to the notion of Frankenstein's creation having been stitched together from dead bodies, and Dr. Frankenstein himself being denounced as a madman. It should be noted that these perceptions come from later adaptations (most notably {{w|Frankenstein_(1931_film)|the 1931 film}}) rather than the original novel, but have become closely associated with the Frankenstein mythos. Following similar meta-textual logic, the title "Frankenstein Claim Permutations" is a double entendre, meaning both (1) permutations of claims regarding the novel ''Frankenstein'' and (2) permutations of claims of a Frankenstein nature (i.e. a franken-claim) in that they are formed by haphazardly joining together different parts.

This comic explores the possible [[wikipedia:Permutation|permutations]] that can be made by matching the names of Mary Shelley, Frankenstein, and '?' (for the unnamed monster) to the positions of author, creator, and monster. The positions are indicated in the drawing by a circle to the left of the book for the author, a box on the left-hand page for the creator, and a labeled picture of the monster lying under a sheet (the traditional image of the monster before being animated) for the monster. Three elements can be arranged in six different ways, as the first element can be placed in any of the three positions, the second in either of the two remaining, and the last in the only remaining space, giving 3 x 2 x 1 options. The same concept was used in [[1613]], where Randall depicted six possible permutations of the {{w|Three Laws of Robotics}}.

{| class="wikitable"
|- style = "text-align: center;"
!Claim!!Notes!!Permutation!!Explanation
|-
|"No, the monster in Mary Shelley's book is unnamed. Frankenstein is the doctor who created him."||This is the normal claim||MS-F-?||This is the claim that is generally considered correct. The POV character of the novel is, in fact, Victor Frankenstein. The monster is never given a name, although many fans name him Adam because of a line he speaks to Victor: "'I ought to be thy Adam, but I am rather the fallen angel, whom thou drivest from joy". The only error in this claim is referring to Victor as a doctor. (In the novel, Victor has not finished his schooling, returning home before finishing his education at the University of Ingolstadt.)
|-
|"No, the monster in Mary Shelley's novel is named Frankenstein."||Also common, and not worth getting mad about IMO||MS-?-F||This is a common misconception, but Randall believes it's not something to get upset about. Maybe the reason for that is that the monster can somehow be described Frankenstein's son and therefore it is only natural that it inherits his family name. Randall has previously touched upon this in comics [[1589: Frankenstein]] and [[2604: Frankenstein Captcha]]. This permutation places the '?' in the creator position, and so avoids talking about the doctor's name at all.
Alternatively, the statement could be taken as an argument that Frankenstein should be considered the "monster" because he created and then abandoned a sentient being.
|-
|"No, Frankenstein is the name of the author. The monster Mary Shelley created is unnamed."||At a glance this could pass for one of the normal claims||F-MS-?||While slightly stretching the meaning of those words, Mary Shelley did "create" the monster (as it's a character in the book she wrote) and Frankenstein is the "author" (creator) of the monster. Alternately, one can consider the story a mostly first hand account of Victor's exploits, as it is initially told to the book's opening narrator (the otherwise sidelined Captain Robert Walton), with Mary having created Monster, Victor, the Captain and all others within the novel (of the Captain's tale of Victor's tale of the apparent nature of the Monster).
This could also be a reference to a tweet[https://twitter.com/MedCrisis/status/1511644464544104452] featuring a photo of a collection of classic books[https://i.redd.it/bnab4cu39dqa1.jpg] in which "Frankenstein" is printed in the position and format of the author's name for the other books of the collection, while "Mary Shelley" is printed in the title position.
|-
|"No one knows who wrote the novel about Doctor Mary Shelley creating the monster Frankenstein."||I would read this book||?-MS-F|| This statement combines the second claim (that Frankenstein is the monster's name) with the third claim (that Mary Shelley created the monster). This time, however, it is claimed that the ''author'' is unknown, while the monster is named. Once again, this claim is almost reasonable, as it could be argued that Mary Shelley, as the author, did create Frankenstein (although she was also not a doctor).
A novel about author Mary Shelley getting a doctorate and actually creating the creature she wrote about could be an interesting twist on the story, hence Randall's comment that he would read this book.
|-
|"No, Frankenstein is the name of the doctor. The monster he created is Mary Shelley."||rowspan=2|Fully chaotic||?-F-MS|| This claim is similar to the others, in that it twists the ordering of the components (author, doctor, monster), but this time it gets the doctor's name correct whilst insinuating that Mary Shelley was the monster he created. This is described as "fully chaotic", likely because the idea of the real-life human author being created by a doctor in the story that was written by her is much less believable and much further from any solid literary footing than the others.
|-
|"No, the doctor who creates Mary Shelley in Frankenstein's novel doesn't have a name."||F-?-MS||Possible Doctor Who reference.
|}

==Transcript==
[A two-column table.]
{| class="wikitable"
|- style = "text-align: center;"
|Claim||Notes
|-
|[Open book. Left page says "F", right page shows the monster labeled "?". Arrow pointing to book says "by MS".] "No, the monster in Mary Shelley's book is unnamed. Frankenstein is the doctor who created him."||This is the normal claim
|-
|[Open book. Left page says "?", right page shows the monster labeled "F". Arrow pointing to book says "by MS".] "No, the monster in Mary Shelley's novel is named Frankenstein."||Also common, and not worth getting mad about IMO
|-
|[Open book. Left page says "MS", right page shows the monster labeled "?". Arrow pointing to book says "by F".] "No, Frankenstein is the name of the author. The monster Mary Shelley created is unnamed."||At a glance this could pass for one of the normal claims
|-
|[Open book. Left page says "MS", right page shows the monster labeled "F". Arrow pointing to book says "by ?".] "No one knows who wrote the novel about Doctor Mary Shelley creating the monster Frankenstein."||I would read this book
|-
|[Open book. Left page says "F", right page shows the monster labeled "MS". Arrow pointing to book says "by ?".] "No, Frankenstein is the name of the doctor. The monster he created is Mary Shelley."||rowspan=2|Fully chaotic
|-
|[Open book. Left page says "?", right page shows the monster labeled "MS". Arrow pointing to book says "by F".] "No, the doctor who creates Mary Shelley in Frankenstein's novel doesn't have a name."
|}
[[Category:Frankenstein]]
{{comic discussion}}

595: Android Girlfriend

2023-03-12T23:59:26Z

SteveMB: /* Explanation */

{{comic
| number = 595
| date = June 10, 2009
| title = Android Girlfriend
| image = android_girlfriend.png
| titletext = Programming the sexbots to enjoy sex seemed a sensible move at the time, but we didn't realize the consequences of their developing fetishes.
}}

==Explanation==
This is the first (of two) comics in the [[:Category:Android|Android series]], which continued directly less than two weeks later in [[600: Android Boyfriend]].

[[Cueball]] shows off his new "android girlfriend" ([[Megan]]) to his Cueball-like friend, who asks if the android is a {{w|Gynoid#As_sexual_devices|sex bot}}. The {{w|android}} responds by pulling a cherry stem from the friend's drink and inserting it into her mouth. So far, the action appears to be an emulation of the party trick where someone puts a cherry stem into their mouth and ties it into a knot in order to suggest tongue dexterity that could be put to good use in kissing and {{w|oral sex}}.

However, instead of tying the cherry stem in a knot, the android activates an {{w|arc welder}} built into her mouth, which presumably reduces the stem to ashes. The friend proclaims that that trick is definitely not sexy. But then the android aggressively approaches him, reaching out and saying, "Remove your pants". The friend, not eager to experience close {{w|genital}} contact with the arc welder, sensibly, refuses. (Of course he may also not wish to take of his pants in front of his friend, at a {{w|party}} with drinks and presumably other people; or perhaps he does not wish to admit that he actually ''does'' find the arc welding act sexy...)

The title text bounces a few implications around. Developing robots with the capacity to either learn or feel emotions is an ethical factor and practical consideration that is commonly explored in {{w|science fiction}}. Here, it's proposed that robots programmed for {{w|sex}} would have their emotions set to enjoy sex by default, but then use their capacity to learn to develop preferences on what kind of sex they want to have. This is potentially a psychological issue, mainly as to whether or not it would be considered "unhealthy", but more directly it's a customer satisfaction problem: what if a sexbot were to develop {{w|Sexual_fetishism|sexual fetishes}} that its owner finds unappealing?

It is also possible that the android shows a level of awareness superior to what is implied by the discussion in the strip. Then using an arc-wielder on that stem could be interpreted as a menace in response to a comment that would be insensitive if referred to a real person.

==Transcript==
:[Cueball, holding his hand on Megan's shoulder, talks to his Cueball-like friend, who is holding a drink glass with a cherry.]
:Cueball: Check out my new android girlfriend.
:Friend: Is she a sex bot?

:[The android grabs the cherry out of the friend's drink glass.]
:Grab

:[Zoom in on the cherry as the stem is ripped off.]
:Plink

:[Zoom to the android, who puts the stem into its mouth.]
:Nom

:[The panel is dark gray, except around the android's mouth, where there is a bright flash and then a brighter cross going out from there. Both Cueball and his friend hold up their hands to protect their eyes.]
:Kzzzzt

:[The android takes a step away from Cueball and reaches toward the friend's crotch. The friend holds up his hand protectively in front of him.]
:Friend: I don't think arc-welding a cherry stem counts as sexy.
:Android: Remove your pants.
:Friend: No.

{{comic discussion}}

[[Category:Android]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Cueball]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Megan]]
[[Category:Multiple Cueballs]]
[[Category:Sex]]
[[Category:Robots]]

598: Porn

2022-12-07T12:39:50Z

SteveMB: /* Explanation */

{{comic
| number = 598
| date = June 17, 2009
| title = Porn
| image = porn.png
| titletext = I have a thing for corrupt women.
}}

==Explanation==
[[Cueball]]'s mention of how porn did not scar him is a reference to negative {{w|effects of pornography}}. One commonly cited effect is a tendency to develop unrealistic ideas about sex and unrealistic expectations that potential sex partners will look like the ones seen in porn.

In fact, the porn really did affect the way he looked at women. Due to dial-up being of such a slow speed, videos that needed to be transmitted via dial-up had to be compressed using a lossy format, which reduces file sizes substantially but also causes heavy data losses. The result was that the decompressed file would be of visibly degraded quality compared to the original uncompressed file. In this case, the lossy format eats away at the detail of the picture, which, during decompression, results in blocky artifacts in an attempt to "reconstruct" the lost data.

Thus, Cueball's image of women was in fact affected by his porn viewing habits. However, instead of the issue usually raised (expecting sex partners to have the physiques of porn performers), he has learned to associate sexual arousal with lo-fidelity blocky images of women. Since he associates blocky pictures with arousal, he seems to have trouble enjoying sex with his comparatively hi-fi girlfriend. In other words, the porn really did scar him after all.

The title text expands on this, referencing {{w|file corruption}}. It is also a pun on female "corruption," or a woman's awareness of her sexuality.

==Transcript==
:[Cueball is hunched up at a computer. A circle surrounds him; the rest of the panel is black. The text is written in a square panel above the white circle.]
:I shouldn't have watched all that porn as a teenager.

:[The text is above the picture in a square frame. A computer screen is shown. It displays an on-line video player, with what appears to be a Cueball-like guy performing cunnilingus on a Megan-like girl. Five other windows (maybe ads) are also visible, though what they depict is not clear. One of them has readable text above a picture (of what appear to be a fleshlight). The rest of the text, including a heading at the top, is unreadable. There is picture with a lady with "big" hair holding her arms out. She has two black blotches on each side of her body. Maybe representing her breast, perhaps in a bra.]
:It's not that it scarred me.
:Ad text: X 10

:[A modem is shown between the two text parts. The text is in two square frames.]
:It's just that we had dial-up.
:Modem: 14.4 kbps
:And now I'm stuck with a fetish.

:[Cueball and Megan are in bed together. The text above the picture is in a square frame.]
:For video compression.
:Cueball: Can you try to look... blockier?

{{comic discussion}}

[[Category:Comics featuring Cueball]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Megan]]
[[Category:Multiple Cueballs]]
[[Category:Sex]]
[[Category:Fleshlights]]
[[Category:Puns]]

1276: Angular Size

2022-02-08T02:46:41Z

SteveMB: /* Trivia */

{{comic
| number = 1276
| date = October 11, 2013
| title = Angular Size
| image = angular size.png
| titletext = If the celestial sphere were mapped to the Earth's surface, astronomy would get a LOT easier; you'd just need a magnifying glass.
}}

==Explanation==
This comic is a comparison of the {{w|angular diameter|angular diameters}} (or apparent diameter) of various celestial objects at the surface of the earth relative to a vertex at the center of the Earth as diagrammed in the opening panel. The objects' scales are compared to actual objects on earth. Each size given is for the object at its closest approach to earth.

London's {{w|M25 motorway}} is around 60 km (35 miles) across, a {{w|soccer field}} is about 100 meters long (109 yards), a {{w|Table tennis table|ping pong table}} is 274 centimeters long (9 feet), a {{w|laptop}} is about 35 centimeters across (13.75 inches), the {{w|tilde}} symbol on a keyboard is about 5 millimeters long (197 mils), and a cell of ''{{w|Escherichia coli|E. coli}}'' is about 2 microns long (78.75 millionths of an inch).

A simple {{w|Intercept theorem|formula}} can be used to find the size on earth of a celestial object when the size of or distance to the object is known. This is done by taking the radius of the earth, multiplying by the diameter of the object, and dividing by the distance to the object from the center of the earth.

The space objects referenced in the panels are:

*The {{w|Sun}} and the {{w|Moon}}, and also the open cluster {{w|Messier 25}}, have approximately the same size (around 0.5 degrees of arc) when seen from the Earth.

*{{w|Mercury (planet)|Mercury}}, {{w|Venus}}, {{w|Mars}}, {{w|Jupiter}}, {{w|Saturn}}, {{w|Uranus}}, and {{w|Neptune}} are the other planets of the {{w|Solar System}}.

*{{w|Io (moon)|Io}}, {{w|Europa (moon)|Europa}}, {{w|Ganymede (moon)|Ganymede}}, and {{w|Callisto (moon)|Callisto}} are the main moons of Jupiter; {{w|Titan (moon)|Titan}} is the largest moon of Saturn; and {{w|Triton (moon)|Triton}} is the largest moon of Neptune. {{w|Ceres (dwarf planet)|Ceres}} and {{w|Pluto}} are {{w|dwarf planet}}s.

*{{w|Phobos (moon)|Phobos}} and {{w|Deimos (moon)|Deimos}} are the moons of Mars. {{w|Eris (dwarf planet)|Eris}} is another dwarf planet. {{w|R Doradus}} and {{w|Betelgeuse}} are giant stars, respectively around 180 and 640 light-years away. R Doradus is the star with the largest apparent diameter (other than the sun, of course).

*{{w|4942 Munroe}} is an asteroid [http://blog.xkcd.com/2013/09/30/asteroid-4942-munroe/ named] after xkcd author [[Randall]] Munroe. {{w|Proxima Centauri}}, {{W|Alpha Centauri|Alpha Centauri AB}}, {{w|Barnard's star}} and {{w|Sirius}} are nearby stars (all within 10 light-years from the Sun).

*{{w|HD 189733 b}}, {{w|Gliese 581 g}}, {{w|Gliese 667 Cc}}, {{w|82 G. Eridani#Planetary_system|HD 20794 c}}, {{w|Tau Ceti#Planets|Tau Ceti c}}, and {{w|KOI-1686.01}} are {{w|extrasolar planet}}s; the parenthetical names are references to the comic [[1253: Exoplanet Names]]. However, some of the planets' parenthetical names do not match the table in the previous comic. For example, HD 20794 c is called "Legoland" rather than "Moonchild" in [[1253: Exoplanet Names]]. The {{w|black hole}} at the center of our Galaxy is {{w|Sagittarius A*}}, a massive object containing a mass more than 4 million times of our Sun.

*{{w|Voyager 1}} and {{w|Voyager 2|2}} are space probes launched in 1977, and currently around 125 and 100 {{w|astronomical unit}}s away, respectively.

The title text states that astronomy would be much easier if the celestial sphere were mapped to the earth - like a giant {{w|globe}}. Due to the distance of the stars you would just need magnifying glass to see the areas representing distant stars instead of an expensive powerful telescope to see huge distances.

Approximate values for the mappings to the Earth sphere (based on mean Earth radius at 6,371.0 km or 3,958.8 mi.):
{| class="wikitable sortable"
|-
! Panel
! Object
! Distance
! Diameter
! Size at Earth sphere
|-
| rowspan="4"| Panel 1
|| {{w|Sun}}
|| 149,600,000 km (9.296×107 mi.)
|| 1,392,684 km (865,373.7 mi.)
|| 59.3 km (36.8 mi.)
|-
|| {{w|Moon}} Semi-major axis
|| 384,399 km (238,854 mi.)
|| 3,476.28 km (2,160.06 mi.)
|| 57.6 km (35.8 mi.)
|-
|| Moon Perigee
|| 363,295 km (225,741 mi.)
|| 3,476.28 km (2160.06 mi.)
|| 60.9 km (37.8 mi.)
|-
|| {{w|Messier 25}}
|| 2,100 light-years 19.867 × 1015 km (12.158 × 1015 mi.)
|| 19 light-years 179.753 × 1012 km (111.693 × 1012 mi.)
|| 57.6 km (35.8 mi.)
|-
| rowspan="7"| Panel 2
|| {{w|Mercury (planet)|Mercury}} (closest approach}
|| 92 million km (57 million mi.)
|| 4,879.4 km (3,031.9 mi.)
|| 0.34 km (370 yd.)
|-
|| {{w|Venus}} (closest approach)
|| 41 million km (25 million mi.)
|| 12,103.6 km (7,520.83 mi.)
|| 1.9 km (1.2 mi.)
|-
|| {{w|Mars}} (closest approach)
|| 56 million km (35 million mi.)
|| 6,792.4 km (4,220.6 mi.)
|| 0.77 km (840 yd.)
|-
|| {{w|Jupiter}}
|| 778,547,200 km (4.8377 × 108 mi.)
|| 139,822 km (86,881.4 mi.)
|| 1.14 km (1,250 yd.)
|-
|| {{w|Saturn}}
|| 1,433,449,370 km (1.5676 × 1012 mi.)
|| 120,536 km (74,897.6 mi.)
|| 0.54 km (590 yd.)
|-
|| {{w|Uranus}}
|| 2,876,679,082 km (1.7875 × 109 mi.)
|| 51,118 km (31,763 mi.)
|| 0.11 km (120 yd.)
|-
|| {{w|Neptune}}
|| 4,503,443,661 km (2.7983 × 109 mi.)
|| 49,528 km (30,775 mi.)
|| 0.07 km (230 ft.)
|-
| rowspan="8"| Panel 3
|| {{w|Io}}
|| 778,547,200 km (483.77 × 106 mi.)
|| 3,643 km (2,264 mi.)
|| 29.8 m (74.8 ft.)
|-
|| {{w|Europa}}
|| 778,547,200 km (483.77 × 106 mi.)
|| 3,122 km (1,940 mi.)
|| 25.5 m (83.7 ft.)
|-
|| {{w|Ganymede}}
|| 778,547,200 km (483.77 × 106 mi.)
|| 5,262 km (3,270 mi.)
|| 43.1 m (141 ft.)
|-
|| {{w|Callisto}}
|| 778,547,200 km (483.77 × 106 mi.)
|| 4,821 km (2,996 mi.)
|| 39.5 m (130 ft.)
|-
|| {{w|Titan (moon)|Titan}}
|| 1,433,449,370 km (890.7 × 106 mi.)
|| 5,150 km (3,200 mi.)
|| 22.9 m (75.1 ft.)
|-
|| {{w|Triton}}
|| 4,503,443,661 km (2.7983 × 109 mi.)
|| 2,705.2 km (1,680.9 mi.)
|| 3.8 m (12 ft.)
|-
|| {{w|Ceres}} (perihelion)
|| 380,995,855 km (236.74 × 106 mi.)
|| 974.6 km (605.6 mi.)
|| 16.3 m (53.5 ft.)
|-
|| {{w|Pluto}} (perihelion)
|| 4,437,000,000 km (2.757 × 109 mi.)
|| 2,306 km (1,433 mi.)
|| 3.3 m (11 ft.)
|-
| rowspan="6"| Panel 4
|| {{w|Phobos}}
|| 56 million km (35 million mi.)
|| 26.8 × 22.4 × 18.4 km (16.7 × 13.9 × 11.4 mi.)
|| 3.05 m (10.0 ft.)
|-
|| {{w|Deimos}}
|| 56 million km (35 million mi.)
|| 15 × 12.2 × 10.4 km (9.3 × 7.58 × 6.46 mi.)
|| 1.71 m (5 ft. 7 in.)
|-
|| {{w|Eris}} (perihelion)
|| 5.723 × 109 km (3.556 × 109 mi.)
|| 2,326 km (1,445 mi.)
|| 2.59 m (8 ft. 6 in.)
|-
|| Eris (aphelion)
|| 14.602 × 109 km (9.0733 × 109 mi.)
|| 2,326 km (1,445 mi.)
|| 1.01 m (3 ft. 3.8 in.)
|-
|| {{w|Betelgeuse}}
|| 643 ± 146 light-years max. 7.464 × 1015 km (4.638 × 1015 mi.)
|| 950–1,200 solar radii max. 1.671 × 109 km (1.038 × 109 mi.)
|| 1.43 m (4 ft. 8.3 in.)
|-
|| {{w|R Doradus}}
|| 178 ± 10 light-years max. 1.778 × 1015 km (1.105 × 1015 mi.)
|| 370 ± 50 solar radii max. 0.515 × 109 km (320 × 106 mi.)
|| 1.85 m (6 ft. 0.8 in.)
|-
| rowspan="6"| Panel 5
|| {{w|4942 Munroe}}
|| 2.2 AU (1.2 AU closest to earth, 179.4 × 106 km or 111.5 × 106 mi.)
|| 9–10 km (5.6-6.2 mi.)
|| 35.5 cm (14.0 in.)
|-
|| {{w|Proxima Centauri}}
|| 4.243 light-years 40.142 × 1012 km (24.943 × 1012 mi.)
|| 0.141 solar radii 0.196 × 106 km (122 × 103 mi.)
|| 3.11 cm (1.22 in.)
|-
|| {{w|Barnard's Star}}
|| 5.980 light-years 56.574 × 1012 km (32.668 × 1012 mi.)
|| 0.196 solar radii 0.272 × 106 km (169×103 mi.)
|| 3.06 cm (1.20 in.)
|-
|| {{w|Alpha Centauri B}}
|| 4.366 light-years 41.305 × 1012 km (25.666 × 1012 mi.)
|| 0.865 solar radii 1.204 × 106 km (748 × 103 mi.)
|| 18.6 cm (7.32 in.)
|-
|| {{w|Sirius}}
|| 8.6 light-years 81.362 × 1012 km (50.556 × 1012 mi.)
|| 1.711 solar radii 2.382 × 106 km (1.480 × 106 mi.)
|| 18.7 cm (7.36 in.)
|-
|| {{w|Alpha Centauri A}}
|| 4.366 light-years 41.305 × 1012 km (25.666 × 1012 mi.)
|| 1.227 solar radii 1.708 × 106 km (1.061 × 106 mi.)
|| 26.3 cm (10.4 in.)
|-
| rowspan="9"| Panel 6
|| {{w|HD 189733}} b
|| 63 light-years 596.024 × 1012 km (370.352 × 1012 mi.)
|| 1.138 Jupiter radii 159,117 km (98,870.7 mi.)
|| 1.7 mm (67 mils)
|-
|| Gliese 581 g
|| 20.3 light-years 192.052 × 1012 km (119.336 × 1012 mi.)
|| 1.3 to 2.0 Earth radii max. 25,484 km (15,835 mi.)
|| 0.85 mm (33 mils)
|-
|| {{w|Gliese 581}} (Parent star)
|| 20.3 light-years 192.052 × 1012 km (119.336 × 1012 mi.)
|| 0.29 solar radii 201,695 km (125,411 mi.)
|| 1.34 cm (528 mils)
|-
|| {{w|Sagittarius A*|Black hole at the center of our Galaxy}}
|| 25,900 light-years 245.032 × 1015 km (152,260 × 1015 mi.)
|| Mass 4.31 × 106 12.684 × 106 km (7.8815 × 106 mi.)
|| 0.33 mm (13 mils)
|-
|| {{w|Gliese 667}} Cc
|| 22.7 light-years 214.757 × 1012 km (133.444 × 1012 mi.)
|| 2.0 Earth radii 25,484 km (15,835 mi.)
|| 0.76 mm (30 mils)
|-
|| Gliese 667 (Parent star)
|| 22.7 light-years 214.757 × 1012 km (133.444 × 1012 mi.)
|| 0.42 solar radii 584,927 km (363,457 mi.)
|| 1.74 cm (685 mils)
|-
|| {{w|HD 20794}} c (Parent star)
|| 20 light-years 189.214 × 1012 km (117.572 × 1012 mi.)
|| 0.92 solar radii 1,281,269 km (796,143.6 mi.)
|| 4.31 cm (1.70 in.)
|-
|| {{w|Tau Ceti}} C (Parent star)
|| 11.905 light-years 112.629 × 1012 km (69.9844 × 1012 mi.)
|| 0.793 solar radii 1,104,398 km (686,241.1 mi.)
|| 6.25 cm (2.46 in.)
|-
|| {{w|Koi-1686.01}} (Parent star)
|| 1033.8 light-years 9.780 × 1015 km (6.077×1015 mi.)
|| 0.52 solar radii 724,195 km (449,994 mi.)
|| 0.47 mm (19 mils)
|-
| Panel 7
|| Voyager probes
|| ({{w|Voyager 1}} at 126.10 AU) 18.86 × 109 km (11.72 × 109 mi.)
|| 20 meters (66 ft.) (with antennas)
|| 6.76 µm (266 × 10−6 in.)
|}

==Transcript==
:The size of the part of Earth's surface directly under various space objects
:[Several images are shown, of space objects of differing size and at different distances from Earth, illustrating the differing sizes of their "shadows" as mapped onto Earth's surface viewed from the center of the Earth.]

:[The first image merely sets the stage: Earth is a full circle, with two figures — Cueball and Megan — standing on it; a small space object casts a "shadow" on Megan, while a slightly larger object, though proportionally farther away, casts just about the same size shadow next to Cueball.]

:[The second image is a map showing London, with the Thames running through it, and a ring highway running around it labeled "London's M25 Orbital Freeway". A grey circle is overlaid, just about the diameter of the M25; it is labeled "The Sun and The Moon (about the same size)".]

:[The third image has a small grey rectangle in one corner labeled "Soccer field" for comparison. The image is dominated by four large, grey circles, considerably larger than the soccer field, labeled "Saturn", "Mars", "Jupiter", and "Venus", with Mars slightly larger than Saturn, Jupiter approximately twice the diameter of Saturn, and Venus approximately three times the diameter of Saturn. Smaller circles are labeled "Mercury", "Uranus", and "Neptune", with Mercury still somewhat larger than the soccer field, Uranus about its size, and Neptune slightly smaller.]

:[The fourth image has the soccer field blown up to take up much of the view; its center circle, goal areas, and corner kick areas are visible. Labeled grey circles of various circles are again overlain: Callisto and Ganymede are about as large as one half of the field; Io, Titan, and Europa are somewhat smaller than half the field; and Ceres, Triton, and Pluto are much smaller (all three together would probably fit into the soccer field's center circle).]

:[In the fifth image, there is a different grey rectangle, this one labeled "Ping Pong table", with a few balls and paddles visible. An irregular ovoid labeled "Phobos" is about the size of the table, as is a circle labeled "R. Doradus". An irregular circular shape labeled "Deimos" is about the size of half the table; a circle labeled "Betelgeuse" is a little smaller, and a circle labeled "Eris" is a little smaller, though still comfortably filling most of half of the table.]

:[In the sixth image, a light grey image of laptop computer keyboard and screen is shown, viewed from directly above. An irregular shape labeled "4942 Munroe" is slightly larger than the laptop, while circles labeled "Alpha Centauri A", "Sirius", and "Alpha Centauri B" form a descending series somewhat smaller than it. Circles labeled "Proxima Centauri" and "Barnard's Star" are considerably smaller than the laptop: Proxima Centauri would fit on the trackpad, while Barnard's Star covers perhaps four keys on the keyboard.]

:[In the seventh image we see a greatly zoomed-in shape which is identified as the "Tilde on laptop keyboard". A circle labeled "HD 189733 b (permadeath)" is almost as large as the tilde is wide; a circle labeled "Tau Ceti C (giant dog planet)" is somewhat smaller. Circles labeled "Gleise 581 g (jelly-filled planet)", "Gleise 667 C c (PILF)", and "HD 20794 c (moonchild)" are all 1/2 to 1/3 as wide as the tilde is wide. A smaller circle labeled "Event horizon of the black hole at the center of our galaxy" fits comfortably within the tilde's stroke width. A very small dot off in one corner (much smaller than the tilde or anything else in the image) is labeled "KOI-1686.01 (emergency backup earth)".]

:[Finally, in the eighth image, the size comparison is to the grey outlines of four bacilliform bacteria labeled "E. coli". The outlines of two interstellar probes are shown, with circular main housings and protruding instruments and antennae. They are labeled "Voyager 1" and "Voyager 2".]

===Trivia===
The exact dimensions of a {{w|Football_pitch#Pitch_boundary|professional soccer field}} are not precisely defined. In international matches they must be between 64 and 75m wide and between 100 and 110m long. Therefore soccer fields aren't well suited as a precise unit of measurement. However, they are commonly used to give people a rough understanding of an areas size. According to the angular diameter of the referenced celestial objects, Randall did his calculations using dimensions of 105m × 68m.

A similar model of representing the angular diameter of celestial objects as portions of the Earth's surface seen from its center was described in Isaac Asimov's May 1961 essay "Heaven on Earth".

{{comic discussion}}
[[Category:Math]]
[[Category:Astronomy]]
[[Category:Exoplanets]]
[[Category:Soccer]]
[[Category:Space probes]]
[[Category:Illustrations of scale]]

202: YouTube

2022-01-20T22:57:36Z

SteveMB: /* Explanation */

{{comic
| number = 202
| date = December 27, 2006
| title = YouTube
| image = youtube.png
| titletext = I pray GunPistolMan never learns the word 'sheeple'.
}}

==Explanation==

This comic is pointing out the fact that many of the comments on {{rw|YouTube}} videos are insipid and poorly informed, being pointless arguments over some minor topic or factually incorrect position ({{rw|conspiracy}}). At the time of this comic, YouTube was fairly new, and the comic's observation about the inanity of YouTube comments was novel. Since then, this observation has become a widely accepted truism about the Internet. In this case, the {{rw|Moon_landing_hoax|Moon landing hoaxers}} are at the receiving end of [[Randall]]'s pen.

* The comment by ''Rocckir'' just states that the video is obviously fake, with no evidence or explanation.

* The comment by ''BigMike133'' confuses the {{w|Space Shuttle}} (which was never capable of landing on the Moon) with the {{w|Apollo Lunar Module}}.

* The comment from ''GunPistolMan'' claims that the video is fake due to the mistaken belief that the Moon would have no {{w|Gravity|gravity}}, whereas in reality, every object in the universe made of matter has gravity, including the Moon, {{w|Comet|comets}}, {{w|Asteroid|asteroids}}, {{w|Natural satellite|moons of other planets}}, even yourself, and so on. The gravity of the Moon is approximately 1/6 the gravity of {{w|Earth}}.

* The comment by ''CrackMonkey74'' names {{w|Louis Armstrong}}, a famous jazz musician, who may have [http://lyrics.wikia.com/Louis_Armstrong:Moon_Song waxed] [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=A5x8HnyIYHE lyrical] about the moon, but never went there. The ill-informed commenter actually means {{w|Neil Armstrong}}, who was the first person to walk on the Moon. The dare to accuse Armstrong to his face may be a reference to an incident where moon-hoax conspiracy theorist {{w|Bart Sibrel}} confronted {{w|Buzz Aldrin}} and called him "a coward, and a liar, and a thief." Aldrin responded by punching Sibrel; Sibrel's attempt to bring charges was dismissed on the grounds that he had provoked Aldrin to the point where the punch was a justified response.

* The comment by ''SimplePlan2009'' presents, likely mocking the other commenters, the ludicrous position that the Moon shot was faked by actors filming the scene on {{w|Mars}}, a planet that at its closest approach to Earth is over a hundred times farther away than the Moon. Landing humans on Mars (much less landing enough people and equipment to set up a soundstage) is a feat that has still not been accomplished, and if it had been possible during the Apollo era, the landing on the Moon would have been a trivial task in comparison. In other words, why go through all the trouble of faking it, if doing it for real would have been no trouble at all?

The reputation of YouTube comment threads as cesspools of abject stupidity and blatant trolling is revisited in [[301: Limerick]] and [[481: Listen to Yourself]].

The username CrackMonkey74 appears again in [[406: Venting]] and [[574: Swine Flu]].

The title text is the first reference to {{rw|Sheeple}}, which [[:Category:Sheeple|appeared a few more times]] in xkcd comics.

==Transcript==
:[Caption above the panel:]
:The Internet has always had loud dumb people, but I've never seen anything quite as bad as the people who comment on YouTube videos.
:[Below shows a still of a 44-second video of Moon landing. An astronaut is seen at the center of the still with an Apollo lunar lander at the background.]
:[Below the video shows a list of comments, top to bottom:]
:Comments & Responses
:[The name of the commenters and the time when the comment was posted is shown above each comment in a gray background.]
:rocckir (48 minutes ago)
:this is so obviously faked its unbilevable, why r people so gullible??? morons
:(reply) (mark as spam)
:bigmike133 (35 minutes ago)
:ive seen the space shuttle ass hole it definetly landed on the moon do some research...
:(reply) (mark as spam)
:GunPistolMan (22 minutes ago)
:if it was real why is their gravity? americans r fucken sheep
:(reply) (mark as spam)
:crackmonkey74 (17 minutes ago)
:u dont think we went to the moon why not tell louis armstrong to his face
:(reply) (mark as spam)
:simpleplan2009 (5 minutes ago)
:it was a soundstage on mars
:(reply) (mark as spam)

==Trivia==
In July 2009, [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Vml7pZJujF0 a restored video] showing Neil Armstrong's first moonwalk was uploaded to YouTube. User Michael Huang copied to that video's comments section all the sentences in this comic. Then, after some other users took some of his comments seriously, he later added another comment stating, "This entire comment chain is from the famous webcomic, xkcd." The comments are copied verbatim, including typos and grammar errors. The only mistake is in the first comment: Michael Huang included only one question mark when the comic has three of them.

{{comic discussion}}
[[Category:Comics with color]]
[[Category:YouTube]]
[[Category:Sheeple]]

162: Angular Momentum

2021-11-12T17:17:53Z

SteveMB: /* Explanation */

{{comic
| number = 162
| date = September 25, 2006
| title = Angular Momentum
| image = angular_momentum.jpg
| titletext = With reasonable assumptions about latitude and body shape, how much time might she gain them? Note: whatever the answer, sunrise always comes too soon. (Also, is it worth it if she throws up?)
}}

==Explanation==

A '''moving object''' (like the Earth) has momentum. '''[https://www.quora.com/If-light-does-not-have-mass-then-how-does-it-have-momentum-1 Momentum]''' is the '''mass''' (size) of the object multiplied by the '''velocity''' (speed) of the moving object. So the Earth has a '''very high momentum''' because the Earth has a '''large mass''' (size) and is moving at a '''high velocity''' (speed) around the Sun. However, the momentum referenced in this comic is the angular momentum of the Earth spinning on its axis, which creates the days and nights. A moving object has to keep moving '''at the same velocity''' for its momentum to stay the same. The momentum of a moving object can increase, decrease, or stop via the force of another object. '''Force''' is the transfer of momentum from one object to another.

[[Megan]] attempts to slow down the Earth's angular momentum, and spins counter-clockwise to force her momentum onto the Earth, so that she can have more time with the one she loves.

The Earth has a massively high momentum, and the momentum that she produces is minuscule relative to the Earth's. And the few nanoseconds gained by spinning, while being with Cueball, is effectively offset by the seconds spent spinning.

Slowing down the rate of time in the universe directly slows down the velocity of life, so there would be no change in the total duration of life. And as the text implies, this isn't even possible: ''While not being able to reverse time, enjoy your night time. Sunrise always comes too early.''

Her attempt of surmounting the seemingly impossible is grand; culturally, we value this kind of high romanticism.

Later in [[442: xkcd Loves the Discovery Channel]], the same kind of spinning Megan is used in the first frame to tell that xkcd loves momentum.

Technical notes: Angular momentum [https://www.quora.com/What-is-angular-momentum-in-laymans-terms depends on the axis used for measuring angular momentum].

Apparently, the time Megan is stopping is “[https://www.reddit.com/r/theydidthemath/comments/5ccbzs/request_this_xkcd_angular_momentum_by_what_small/ less than 1/20th of the time light takes to cross the diameter of a hydrogen atom]”

A considerably larger (but still minuscule) effect could be achieved by Megan (and/or Cueball and/or the bed) [https://www.reddit.com/r/theydidthemath/comments/4mdihu/request_if_every_single_person_in_the_world_did/d3uvmk3/ moving even a few meters closer to the equator]. This would also have the advantage of not interfering with any other activities Megan and Cueball might want to undertake in their time together.

==Transcript==
:[Cueball sits sideways on a bed under an open window in the corner of a room. He is looking at Megan, who is spinning fast, indicated with two large circles indicating where her arms that a spread far out rotate, as well as two smaller circles around her knees and feet. The bed sheets are clearly messed up, as if someone has used it for activities other than sleeping. It is night and dark gray outside the window, and inside the room everything is also gray but lighter. Behind the spoken text, the background is white, but fades to the darker gray at the edges. There is also different gray shading in different parts of the room.]
:Cueball: What are you doing?
:Megan: Spinning counterclockwise
:Megan: Each turn robs the planet of angular momentum
:Megan: Slowing its spin the tiniest bit
:Megan: Lengthening the night, pushing back the dawn
:Megan: Giving me a little more time here
:Megan: With you

==Trivia==
*This is one of the [[:Category:Footer comics|six footer comics]] linked at the bottom part of the {{xkcd}} website.
*This comic is available as a signed print in the [https://store.xkcd.com/products/signed-prints xkcd store].
*The {{w|Wired (magazine)}} [https://www.wired.com/2014/04/can-you-slow-down-a-day-using-angular-momentum/ calculated] how much time [[Megan]] slowed down.

{{comic discussion}}
[[Category:Comics featuring Cueball]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Megan]]
[[Category:Physics]]
[[Category:Romance]]
[[Category:Footer comics]]
[[Category:Comics with xkcd store products]]

162: Angular Momentum

2021-11-12T17:17:17Z

SteveMB: /* Explanation */

{{comic
| number = 162
| date = September 25, 2006
| title = Angular Momentum
| image = angular_momentum.jpg
| titletext = With reasonable assumptions about latitude and body shape, how much time might she gain them? Note: whatever the answer, sunrise always comes too soon. (Also, is it worth it if she throws up?)
}}

==Explanation==

A '''moving object''' (like the Earth) has momentum. '''[https://www.quora.com/If-light-does-not-have-mass-then-how-does-it-have-momentum-1 Momentum]''' is the '''mass''' (size) of the object multiplied by the '''velocity''' (speed) of the moving object. So the Earth has a '''very high momentum''' because the Earth has a '''large mass''' (size) and is moving at a '''high velocity''' (speed) around the Sun. However, the momentum referenced in this comic is the angular momentum of the Earth spinning on its axis, which creates the days and nights. A moving object has to keep moving '''at the same velocity''' for its momentum to stay the same. The momentum of a moving object can increase, decrease, or stop via the force of another object. '''Force''' is the transfer of momentum from one object to another.

[[Megan]] attempts to slow down the Earth's angular momentum, and spins counter-clockwise to force her momentum onto the Earth, so that she can have more time with the one she loves.

The Earth has a massively high momentum, and the momentum that she produces is minuscule relative to the Earth's. And the few nanoseconds gained by spinning, while being with Cueball, is effectively offset by the seconds spent spinning.

Slowing down the rate of time in the universe directly slows down the velocity of life, so there would be no change in the total duration of life. And as the text implies, this isn't even possible: ''While not being able to reverse time, enjoy your night time. Sunrise always comes too early.''

Her attempt of surmounting the seemingly impossible is grand; culturally, we value this kind of high romanticism.

Later in [[442: xkcd Loves the Discovery Channel]], the same kind of spinning Megan is used in the first frame to tell that xkcd loves momentum.

Technical notes: Angular momentum [https://www.quora.com/What-is-angular-momentum-in-laymans-terms depends on the axis used for measuring angular momentum].

Apparently, the time Megan is stopping is “[https://www.reddit.com/r/theydidthemath/comments/5ccbzs/request_this_xkcd_angular_momentum_by_what_small/ less than 1/20th of the time light takes to cross the diameter of a hydrogen atom]”

A considerably larger (but still minuscule) effect could be achieved by Megan [https://www.reddit.com/r/theydidthemath/comments/4mdihu/request_if_every_single_person_in_the_world_did/d3uvmk3/ moving even a few meters closer to the equator]. This would also have the advantage of not interfering with any other activities Megan and Cueball might want to undertake in their time together.

==Transcript==
:[Cueball sits sideways on a bed under an open window in the corner of a room. He is looking at Megan, who is spinning fast, indicated with two large circles indicating where her arms that a spread far out rotate, as well as two smaller circles around her knees and feet. The bed sheets are clearly messed up, as if someone has used it for activities other than sleeping. It is night and dark gray outside the window, and inside the room everything is also gray but lighter. Behind the spoken text, the background is white, but fades to the darker gray at the edges. There is also different gray shading in different parts of the room.]
:Cueball: What are you doing?
:Megan: Spinning counterclockwise
:Megan: Each turn robs the planet of angular momentum
:Megan: Slowing its spin the tiniest bit
:Megan: Lengthening the night, pushing back the dawn
:Megan: Giving me a little more time here
:Megan: With you

==Trivia==
*This is one of the [[:Category:Footer comics|six footer comics]] linked at the bottom part of the {{xkcd}} website.
*This comic is available as a signed print in the [https://store.xkcd.com/products/signed-prints xkcd store].
*The {{w|Wired (magazine)}} [https://www.wired.com/2014/04/can-you-slow-down-a-day-using-angular-momentum/ calculated] how much time [[Megan]] slowed down.

{{comic discussion}}
[[Category:Comics featuring Cueball]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Megan]]
[[Category:Physics]]
[[Category:Romance]]
[[Category:Footer comics]]
[[Category:Comics with xkcd store products]]

162: Angular Momentum

2021-11-12T17:16:43Z

SteveMB: /* Explanation */

{{comic
| number = 162
| date = September 25, 2006
| title = Angular Momentum
| image = angular_momentum.jpg
| titletext = With reasonable assumptions about latitude and body shape, how much time might she gain them? Note: whatever the answer, sunrise always comes too soon. (Also, is it worth it if she throws up?)
}}

==Explanation==

A '''moving object''' (like the Earth) has momentum. '''[https://www.quora.com/If-light-does-not-have-mass-then-how-does-it-have-momentum-1 Momentum]''' is the '''mass''' (size) of the object multiplied by the '''velocity''' (speed) of the moving object. So the Earth has a '''very high momentum''' because the Earth has a '''large mass''' (size) and is moving at a '''high velocity''' (speed) around the Sun. However, the momentum referenced in this comic is the angular momentum of the Earth spinning on its axis, which creates the days and nights. A moving object has to keep moving '''at the same velocity''' for its momentum to stay the same. The momentum of a moving object can increase, decrease, or stop via the force of another object. '''Force''' is the transfer of momentum from one object to another.

[[Megan]] attempts to slow down the Earth's angular momentum, and spins counter-clockwise to force her momentum onto the Earth, so that she can have more time with the one she loves.

The Earth has a massively high momentum, and the momentum that she produces is minuscule relative to the Earth's. And the few nanoseconds gained by spinning, while being with Cueball, is effectively offset by the seconds spent spinning.

Slowing down the rate of time in the universe directly slows down the velocity of life, so there would be no change in the total duration of life. And as the text implies, this isn't even possible: ''While not being able to reverse time, enjoy your night time. Sunrise always comes too early.''

Her attempt of surmounting the seemingly impossible is grand; culturally, we value this kind of high romanticism.

Later in [[442: xkcd Loves the Discovery Channel]], the same kind of spinning Megan is used in the first frame to tell that xkcd loves momentum.

Technical notes: Angular momentum [https://www.quora.com/What-is-angular-momentum-in-laymans-terms depends on the axis used for measuring angular momentum].

Apparently, the time Megan is stopping is “[https://www.reddit.com/r/theydidthemath/comments/5ccbzs/request_this_xkcd_angular_momentum_by_what_small/ less than 1/20th of the time light takes to cross the diameter of a hydrogen atom]”

A larger (but still minuscule) effect could be achieved by Megan [https://www.reddit.com/r/theydidthemath/comments/4mdihu/request_if_every_single_person_in_the_world_did/d3uvmk3/ moving closer to the equator]. This would also have the advantage of not interfering with any other activities Megan and Cueball might want to undertake in their time together.

==Transcript==
:[Cueball sits sideways on a bed under an open window in the corner of a room. He is looking at Megan, who is spinning fast, indicated with two large circles indicating where her arms that a spread far out rotate, as well as two smaller circles around her knees and feet. The bed sheets are clearly messed up, as if someone has used it for activities other than sleeping. It is night and dark gray outside the window, and inside the room everything is also gray but lighter. Behind the spoken text, the background is white, but fades to the darker gray at the edges. There is also different gray shading in different parts of the room.]
:Cueball: What are you doing?
:Megan: Spinning counterclockwise
:Megan: Each turn robs the planet of angular momentum
:Megan: Slowing its spin the tiniest bit
:Megan: Lengthening the night, pushing back the dawn
:Megan: Giving me a little more time here
:Megan: With you

==Trivia==
*This is one of the [[:Category:Footer comics|six footer comics]] linked at the bottom part of the {{xkcd}} website.
*This comic is available as a signed print in the [https://store.xkcd.com/products/signed-prints xkcd store].
*The {{w|Wired (magazine)}} [https://www.wired.com/2014/04/can-you-slow-down-a-day-using-angular-momentum/ calculated] how much time [[Megan]] slowed down.

{{comic discussion}}
[[Category:Comics featuring Cueball]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Megan]]
[[Category:Physics]]
[[Category:Romance]]
[[Category:Footer comics]]
[[Category:Comics with xkcd store products]]

162: Angular Momentum

2021-11-12T17:16:24Z

SteveMB: /* Explanation */

{{comic
| number = 162
| date = September 25, 2006
| title = Angular Momentum
| image = angular_momentum.jpg
| titletext = With reasonable assumptions about latitude and body shape, how much time might she gain them? Note: whatever the answer, sunrise always comes too soon. (Also, is it worth it if she throws up?)
}}

==Explanation==

A '''moving object''' (like the Earth) has momentum. '''[https://www.quora.com/If-light-does-not-have-mass-then-how-does-it-have-momentum-1 Momentum]''' is the '''mass''' (size) of the object multiplied by the '''velocity''' (speed) of the moving object. So the Earth has a '''very high momentum''' because the Earth has a '''large mass''' (size) and is moving at a '''high velocity''' (speed) around the Sun. However, the momentum referenced in this comic is the angular momentum of the Earth spinning on its axis, which creates the days and nights. A moving object has to keep moving '''at the same velocity''' for its momentum to stay the same. The momentum of a moving object can increase, decrease, or stop via the force of another object. '''Force''' is the transfer of momentum from one object to another.

[[Megan]] attempts to slow down the Earth's angular momentum, and spins counter-clockwise to force her momentum onto the Earth, so that she can have more time with the one she loves.

The Earth has a massively high momentum, and the momentum that she produces is minuscule relative to the Earth's. And the few nanoseconds gained by spinning, while being with Cueball, is effectively offset by the seconds spent spinning.

Slowing down the rate of time in the universe directly slows down the velocity of life, so there would be no change in the total duration of life. And as the text implies, this isn't even possible: ''While not being able to reverse time, enjoy your night time. Sunrise always comes too early.''

Her attempt of surmounting the seemingly impossible is grand; culturally, we value this kind of high romanticism.

Later in [[442: xkcd Loves the Discovery Channel]], the same kind of spinning Megan is used in the first frame to tell that xkcd loves momentum.

Technical notes: Angular momentum [https://www.quora.com/What-is-angular-momentum-in-laymans-terms depends on the axis used for measuring angular momentum].

Apparently, the time Megan is stopping is “[https://www.reddit.com/r/theydidthemath/comments/5ccbzs/request_this_xkcd_angular_momentum_by_what_small/ less than 1/20th of the time light takes to cross the diameter of a hydrogen atom]”

A larger (but still minuscule) effect could be achieved by Megan “[https://www.reddit.com/r/theydidthemath/comments/4mdihu/request_if_every_single_person_in_the_world_did/d3uvmk3/ moving closer to the equator]”. This would also have the advantage of not interfering with any other activities Megan and Cueball might want to undertake in their time together.

==Transcript==
:[Cueball sits sideways on a bed under an open window in the corner of a room. He is looking at Megan, who is spinning fast, indicated with two large circles indicating where her arms that a spread far out rotate, as well as two smaller circles around her knees and feet. The bed sheets are clearly messed up, as if someone has used it for activities other than sleeping. It is night and dark gray outside the window, and inside the room everything is also gray but lighter. Behind the spoken text, the background is white, but fades to the darker gray at the edges. There is also different gray shading in different parts of the room.]
:Cueball: What are you doing?
:Megan: Spinning counterclockwise
:Megan: Each turn robs the planet of angular momentum
:Megan: Slowing its spin the tiniest bit
:Megan: Lengthening the night, pushing back the dawn
:Megan: Giving me a little more time here
:Megan: With you

==Trivia==
*This is one of the [[:Category:Footer comics|six footer comics]] linked at the bottom part of the {{xkcd}} website.
*This comic is available as a signed print in the [https://store.xkcd.com/products/signed-prints xkcd store].
*The {{w|Wired (magazine)}} [https://www.wired.com/2014/04/can-you-slow-down-a-day-using-angular-momentum/ calculated] how much time [[Megan]] slowed down.

{{comic discussion}}
[[Category:Comics featuring Cueball]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Megan]]
[[Category:Physics]]
[[Category:Romance]]
[[Category:Footer comics]]
[[Category:Comics with xkcd store products]]

2521: Toothpaste

2021-09-28T16:04:24Z

SteveMB: /* Explanation */

{{comic
| number = 2521
| date = September 27, 2021
| title = Toothpaste
| image = toothpaste.png
| titletext = "9 out of 10 dentists have banned me from their offices."
}}

==Explanation==
{{incomplete|Created by JUST THE DENTIST (11th REGENERATION) - Please change this comment when editing this page. Do NOT delete this tag too soon.}}
[[Cueball]] is telling [[Megan]] about his friend. He indicates that she said something shocking and probably hurtful. He then states that even though she tried to apologize it was too late, the words had been said and it cannot be taken back.

He uses a phrase to underline this: You can't put the toothpaste back in the tube.

Putting toothpaste back in its tube is often used as an analogy for something irreversible, such as how you can't undo speaking. Megan, however, rejects this assertion and says that you actually ''can'' put toothpaste back in its tube, which is certainly possible in some cases. There are many ways to do this, and none of them are recommendable, but she chooses a particular nasty one where she would blow the paste in her mouth back into the tube. This is obviously much more unsanitary than simply returning unused toothpaste to the tube, which someone might reasonably want to do after squeezing out more than they wanted.

Cueball is so disgusted by this suggestion that he states that Megan's suggestion is actually the worst thing she ever said.

The joke then comes when Megan assumes that Cueball's original analogy still holds, that taking words back is like putting toothpaste back in to the tube. So therefore she ''can'' actually unsay something. She starts to say exactly what Cueball's other friend did "Sorry, I can take it back". But then she says, "It's just like--", and was presumably about to continue, "--putting toothpaste back in the tube". However, Cueball forcefully interrupts her, because the idea of putting toothpaste back in the tube now evokes the distasteful mental image of Megan blowing used toothpaste back into the tube.

Toothpaste is normally loaded into the tube from the back, before it is crimped shut. However, it should ''technically'' be possible to push an extruded amount of paste back in from the front by wrapping one's lips around the whole front of the tube and blowing the paste you have in your mouth back in. This positive pressure can reinflate the tube the same way one blows up a balloon. However, blowing the toothpaste back into the tube would be highly unsanitary, and as the main purpose of toothpaste is to clean teeth, the end result is both counterproductive and disgusting{{citation needed}}. In some cases paste coming out of a tube will be sucked back in if the pressure is released. Such containers would probably be able to suck toothpaste back in, if it was still lying on the toothbrush in one blob (or on the table/in the sink if dropped). As above mentioned this would be unsanitary as germs etc. could get back inside the tube, where the paste is supposed to be clean.

It is common advertising practice to state that a good proportion of relevant experts (typically something like the significant but plausible 8 or 9 out of every 10) support your product or service, such as dentists who recommend your brand of toothpaste - though hopefully only once such a claim is fulfilled. The title text may be echoing this, but in the context of ''dis''satisfaction with Megan's approach (or with [[Randall]] and his ideas, as it is usually he who speaks in the title text. If it refers to Randall him self it is reminiscent of all the [[:Category:Banned from conferences|conferences he has been banned from]]).

It may actually say more about any dental establishment that does ''not'' disapprove of what Megan apparently is not just theorizing about doing - but maybe they are disapproving too, just didn't considered it bad enough to ban her from office.

==Transcript==
:[Cueball, holding his arms out, is talking to Megan.]
:Cueball: I can't believe she said that.
:Cueball: She apologized, but you can't put the toothpaste back in the tube.

:[Megan holds a hand, palm up, out towards Cueball as she replies.]
:Megan: Sure you can; it's easy. You just put your mouth over the opening.

:[Finally they stand straight talking.]
:Cueball: Well, '''''that's''''' the worst thing you've ever said.
:Megan: Sorry, I can take it back. It's just like-
:Cueball: '''''No!'''''

{{comic discussion}}

[[Category:Comics featuring Cueball]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Megan]]

2521: Toothpaste

2021-09-28T10:54:19Z

SteveMB: /* Explanation */

{{comic
| number = 2521
| date = September 27, 2021
| title = Toothpaste
| image = toothpaste.png
| titletext = "9 out of 10 dentists have banned me from their offices."
}}

==Explanation==
{{incomplete|Created by THE 10th DENTIST - Please change this comment when editing this page. Do NOT delete this tag too soon.}}
[[Cueball]] is telling [[Megan]] about his friend. He tells her that "he cant believe she said that". So she said something he finds really unsettling. He then states that even though she tried to apologize it was too late, the words had been said and it cannot be taken back.

He then uses the phrase to underline this: You can't put the toothpaste back in the tube.

Putting toothpaste back in its tube is often used as an analogy for something irreversible, such as how you can't undo speaking. Megan, however, rejects this assertion and says that you actually ''can'' put toothpaste back in its tube, which is certainly possible in some cases. Thus she is correct in her assertion that this is a wrong statement by Cueball. There are many ways to do this, and none of them are recommendable, but she chooses a particular nasty one where she would blow the paste in her mouth back into the tube. This is obviously much more unsanitary than simply returning unused toothpaste to the tube, which someone might reasonably want to do after squeezing out more than they wanted.

Cueball is so disgusted by this suggestion, that he now states that Megan's suggestion is actually the worst thing she ever said.

The joke then comes when Megan assumes that Cueball's original analogy still holds, that taking words back is like putting toothpaste back in to the tube. So therefore she ''can'' actually unsay something. She starts to say exactly what Cueball's other friend did "Sorry, I can take it back". But then she continues, and was likely going to say "It's just like - putting toothpaste back in the tube". But Cueball forcefully interrupts her after "like-", saying '''''No!''''', because the idea of putting toothpaste back in the tube now evokes the distasteful mental image of Megan blowing used toothpaste back into the tube.

Toothpaste is normally loaded into the tube from the back, before it is crimped shut. However, it should ''technically'' be possible to push an extruded amount of paste back in from the front by wrapping one's lips around the whole front of the tube and blowing the paste you have in your mouth back in. This positive pressure can reinflate the tube the same way one blows up a balloon. However, blowing the toothpaste back into the tube would be highly unsanitary, and as the main purpose of toothpaste is to clean teeth, the end result is both counterproductive and disgusting{{citation needed}}. In some cases paste coming out of a tube will be sucked back in if the pressure is released. Such containers would probably be able to suck toothpaste back in, if it was still lying on the toothbrush in one blob (or on the table/in the sink if dropped). As above mentioned this would be unsanitary as germs etc. could get back inside the tube, where the paste is supposed to be clean.

It is common advertising practice to state that a good proportion of relevant experts (typically something like the significant but plausible 8 or 9 out of every 10) support your product or service, such as dentists who recommend your brand of toothpaste - though hopefully only once such a claim is fulfilled. The title text may be echoing this, but in the context of ''dis''satisfaction with Megan's approach (or with [[Randall]] and his ideas, as it is usually he who speaks in the title text. If it refers to Randall him self it is reminiscent of all the [[:Category:Banned from conferences|conferences he has been banned from]]).

It may actually say more about any dental establishment that does ''not'' disapprove of what Megan apparently is not just theorizing about doing.

==Transcript==
:[Cueball, holding his arms out, is talking to Megan.]
:Cueball: I can't believe she said that.
:Cueball: She apologized, but you can't put the toothpaste back in the tube.

:[Megan holds a hand, palm up, out towards Cueball as she replies.]
:Megan: Sure you can; it's easy. You just put your mouth over the opening.

:[Finally they stand straight talking.]
:Cueball: Well, '''''that's''''' the worst thing you've ever said.
:Megan: Sorry, I can take it back. It's just like-
:Cueball: '''''No!'''''

{{comic discussion}}

[[Category:Comics featuring Cueball]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Megan]]

2508: Circumappendiceal Somectomy

2021-08-28T00:25:30Z

SteveMB: /* Explanation */

{{comic
| number = 2508
| date = August 27, 2021
| title = Circumappendiceal Somectomy
| image = circumappendiceal_somectomy.png
| titletext = Some personal news: After treating my first case a few years ago with antibiotics, I can report that I have now had appendicitis for the second and--unless something extremely unexpected happened with the surgery--final time.
}}

==Explanation==
{{incomplete|Created by a BODY REMOVED FROM AROUND AN APPENDIX - Do NOT delete this tag too soon.}}

Breaking down the title: circum- means "around," -appendiceal means "the appendix," som(a)- means "the body," and -ectomy means "removal." Therefore, a circumappendiceal somectomy would be "a removal of the body from around the appendix." This appears to be the procedure that the doctor in the comic is describing.

The joke is that such a procedure is functionally identical to a typical appendectomy, the removal of the appendix from the body - just viewed from a different perspective. It humorously implies that the entire body of the patient is the problematic part to be removed, in order to leave behind a healthy, functional appendix.

The title text provides personal insight into the comic. It appears Randall has gotten appendicitis before, and was treated using antibiotics instead of surgery. However, his appendix became inflamed again, and this time it was removed. As well, this should be the final time, as it is unlikely to get appendicitis without an appendix {{Citation needed}}. However, he does not rule out the possibility that something "extremely unexpected" happened during the surgery which could cause him to suffer from appendicitis again. Possible candidates for such an extremely unexpected event could include the surgeon faking the removal of Randall's appendix and leaving it intact, or removing only part of it, or removing Randall's appendix but transplanting someone else's appendix into him instead.

==Transcript==
{{incomplete transcript|Do NOT delete this tag too soon.}}
:[Cueball is sitting on a hospital bed, hands pushing on his stomach, where his appendix is. A doctor is speaking to him with one arm outstretched, palms upwards.]
:Doctor: Normally we would remove your appendix from your body.
:Doctor: But thanks to new surgical techniques, we're now able to remove your entire body from around your appendix!
{{comic discussion}}

[[Category: Comics featuring Cueball]]

2507: USV-C

2021-08-25T19:48:35Z

SteveMB: /* Explanation */

{{comic
| number = 2507
| date = August 25, 2021
| title = USV-C
| image = usv_c.png
| titletext = Ultra-Serial Violet C light is unpolarized, so you don't have to flip the polarizing filter over when you get the orientation wrong the first time.
}}

==Explanation==
{{incomplete|Created by THE CURATOR OF THE EVER EXPANDING CURSED CONNECTORS COLLECTION - Please change this comment when editing this page. Do NOT delete this tag too soon.}}
This is the fourth installment in the series of [[:Category:Cursed Connectors|Cursed Connectors]] and presents Cursed Connectors #280: USB-C to UV-C. It follows [[2503: Memo Spike Connector]] (#102).

This comic depicts a cable that converts from USB-C (at the top of the picture) to UV-C (at the bottom).

{{w|USB-C}} is a rotationally symmetrical {{w|Universal Serial Bus}} (USB) connector. {{w|Ultraviolet#UVC|UV-C}} is a range of {{w|ultraviolet light}} with wavelengths between 100 and 280 nm. This is often used as a germicide, so this comic may also be related to the COVID-19 pandemic.

Similar cables actually exist, with a USB port at one end to power a small (usually visible light) lamp at the other. A cable with a UV-C lamp could, as noted above, be useful for disinfecting surfaces; however, the depicted design would be problematic because it would expose the user's skin and eyes to harmful ultraviolet radiation.

The title text mentions that the UV-C is {{w|Polarization_(waves)|unpolarized}}. This is compared to connector 'polarization', or lack of it, in that USB-C does not force you to use a single {{w|Electrical_connector#Keying|correct orientation}} when using it.

==Transcript==
{{incomplete transcript|Do NOT delete this tag too soon.}}
:[A cable with a USB-C connector on one end and a UV-C LED on the other end is shown]
:Cursed Connectors #280
:USB-C to UV-C
{{comic discussion}}

[[Category: Cursed Connectors]]
[[Category: Comics with color]]

2507: USV-C

2021-08-25T19:47:42Z

SteveMB: /* Explanation */

{{comic
| number = 2507
| date = August 25, 2021
| title = USV-C
| image = usv_c.png
| titletext = Ultra-Serial Violet C light is unpolarized, so you don't have to flip the polarizing filter over when you get the orientation wrong the first time.
}}

==Explanation==
{{incomplete|Created by THE CURATOR OF THE EVER EXPANDING CURSED CONNECTORS COLLECTION - Please change this comment when editing this page. Do NOT delete this tag too soon.}}
This is the fourth installment in the series of [[:Category:Cursed Connectors|Cursed Connectors]] and presents Cursed Connectors #280: USB-C to UV-C. It follows [[2503: Memo Spike Connector]] (#102).

This comic depicts a cable that converts from USB-C (at the top of the picture) to UV-C (at the bottom).

{{w|USB-C}} is a rotationally symmetrical {{w|Universal Serial Bus}} (USB) connector. {{w|Ultraviolet#UVC|UV-C}} is a range of {{w|ultraviolet light}} with wavelengths between 100 and 280 nm. This is often used as a germicide, so this comic may also be related to the COVID-19 pandemic.

Similar cables actually exist, with a USB port at one end to power a small (visible light) lamp at the other. A cable with a UV-C lamp could, as noted above, be useful for disinfecting surfaces; however, the depicted design would be problematic because it would expose the user's skin and eyes to harmful ultraviolet radiation.

The title text mentions that the UV-C is {{w|Polarization_(waves)|unpolarized}}. This is compared to connector 'polarization', or lack of it, in that USB-C does not force you to use a single {{w|Electrical_connector#Keying|correct orientation}} when using it.

==Transcript==
{{incomplete transcript|Do NOT delete this tag too soon.}}
:[A cable with a USB-C connector on one end and a UV-C LED on the other end is shown]
:Cursed Connectors #280
:USB-C to UV-C
{{comic discussion}}

[[Category: Cursed Connectors]]
[[Category: Comics with color]]

2507: USV-C

2021-08-25T19:46:24Z

SteveMB: /* Explanation */

{{comic
| number = 2507
| date = August 25, 2021
| title = USV-C
| image = usv_c.png
| titletext = Ultra-Serial Violet C light is unpolarized, so you don't have to flip the polarizing filter over when you get the orientation wrong the first time.
}}

==Explanation==
{{incomplete|Created by THE CURATOR OF THE EVER EXPANDING CURSED CONNECTORS COLLECTION - Please change this comment when editing this page. Do NOT delete this tag too soon.}}
This is the fourth installment in the series of [[:Category:Cursed Connectors|Cursed Connectors]] and presents Cursed Connectors #280: USB-C to UV-C. It follows [[2503: Memo Spike Connector]] (#102).

This comic depicts a cable that converts from USB-C (at the top of the picture) to UV-C (at the bottom).

{{w|USB-C}} is a rotationally symmetrical {{w|Universal Serial Bus}} (USB) connector. {{w|Ultraviolet#UVC|UV-C}} is a range of {{w|ultraviolet light}} with wavelengths between 100 and 280 nm. This is often used as a germicide, so this comic may also be related to the COVID-19 pandemic.

Similar cables actually exist, with a USB port at one end to power a small (visible light) lamp at the other. A similar cable with a UV-C lamp could, as noted above, be useful for disinfecting surfaces; however, the depicted design would be problematic because it would expose the user's skin and eyes to harmful ultraviolet radiation.

The title text mentions that the UV-C is {{w|Polarization_(waves)|unpolarized}}. This is compared to connector 'polarization', or lack of it, in that USB-C does not force you to use a single {{w|Electrical_connector#Keying|correct orientation}} when using it.

==Transcript==
{{incomplete transcript|Do NOT delete this tag too soon.}}
:[A cable with a USB-C connector on one end and a UV-C LED on the other end is shown]
:Cursed Connectors #280
:USB-C to UV-C
{{comic discussion}}

[[Category: Cursed Connectors]]
[[Category: Comics with color]]

2498: Forest Walk

2021-08-05T12:19:28Z

SteveMB: /* Explanation */

{{comic
| number = 2498
| date = August 4, 2021
| title = Forest Walk
| image = forest_walk.png
| titletext = The only other person to walk by was a linguist back in the 80s, but she just spent a while dissecting the phrase 'help me down' before getting distracted by a squirrel and wandering off.
}}

==Explanation==
{{incomplete|Created by D. B. COOPER. The explanation doesn't exist. We need to add the explanation for the main comic and the title text. Do NOT delete this tag too soon.}}

Megan is walking in a forest with Beret Guy who owns big part of it. Megan is surprised that he owns such a big property, however, Beret Guy is known for his inexplicable businesses such as in [[1493: Meeting]] and from [[1032: Networking]]; we know he probably has enough resources to be able to buy it. Alternatively, he might have simply inherited it form his mom [[502: Dark Flow]].

They meet a rather disheveled-looking bearded man hanging from a parachute caught in a tree. The man shakes a stick at them and demands to be helped down to the ground. Beret Guy simply addresses him as "Mister Cooper" and asks if he promises to return the money he took. The man angrily refuses, and Beret Guy casually says he'll see him again tomorrow, suggesting that this conversation has become a daily routine.

Megan asks if the man was D. B. Cooper. Beret Guy confirms that he is. He then comments on an owl nest as another bit of "neat stuff" found on his land, suggesting that he finds Cooper's presence to be moderately interesting but not really remarkable.

{{w|D. B. Cooper}} is the identity given to a man who hijacked a Boeing 727 aircraft in 1971. He collected a $200,000 ransom (equivalent to $1,250,000 in 2020) and famously donned a parachute and jumped from the plane over the state of Washington. Even after a lengthy FBI investigations, it is still unknown who he was or what became of him. The only thing known about him are a police composite drawing and the name "Dan Cooper" with which he had purchased his airline ticket. The name D. B. Cooper came about as a result of a miscommunication with the media.

D. B. Cooper who was already referenced by Randall in [[1400: D.B. Cooper]], [[1501: Mysteries]] and [[2452: Aviation Firsts]].

Uncanny situations are nothing new to Beret Guy as he himself possesses may [[Strange_powers_of_Beret_Guy|strange powers]]. Because of this he seems to be unable to differentiate between something normal, such as owl nest in a forest, and something outright impossible{{Citation needed}} as a famous criminal hanging from a tree, otherwise unnoticed for decades, and still alive (though clearly aged) without any apparent source of food or water.

Title text seem to reference to the linguist from [[2390: Linguists]] who is more interested in linguistic nuances that people use when calling for help than in actually helping them. It is not known how many others have walked through Beret Guy's land, in the interim, or whether it is their own nature or the general auea from Beret Guy, but the linguist clearly did not much more than ponder the phrase "help me down", and Megan seems in no hurry to intervene either.

==Transcript==
:[Megan and Beret Guy are walking through a landscape with spread out trees and grass and puddles on the ground.]
:Megan: Wow, this is all yours?
:Beret Guy: Yeah! All the way back to the river!
:Beret Guy: I walk here every day.

:[Megan still walks towards Beret Guy who has now stopped and is looking up while speaking to a man hanging in a tree in front of them. The man has long wild hair and a large beard. He hangs from his parachute which has been folded around a large branch sticking out from beneath the top of the tree. He is holding a long stick of some sort, seemingly attempting to threaten Beret Guy, as the stick and his legs are vibrating as indicated with small lines.]
:Beret Guy: Morning, mister Cooper!
:Cooper: You help me down '''''this instant!'''''

:[Pan down to show only Beret Buy and nothing else. Cooper replies from off-panel from the top corner.]
:Beret Guy: Do you promise to give back all the money you took?
:Cooper [off-panel]: '''''Never!'''''
:Beret Guy: Okay! See you tomorrow!

:[Megan and Beret Guy continue walking through the landscape with three small trees behind them, as well as grass, rocks and a small puddle. Megan looks back over her shoulder towards where Cooper is hanging.]
:Megan: Was that D.B. Cooper?
:Beret Guy: Yeah, and up ahead there's an owl nest!
:Beret Guy: There's so much neat stuff here.

{{comic discussion}}

[[Category:Comics featuring Megan]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Beret Guy]]
[[Category:Comics featuring D. B. Cooper]]
[[Category:Animals]] 
[[Category:Squirrels]] 
[[Category:Language]]

2498: Forest Walk

2021-08-05T12:18:05Z

SteveMB: /* Explanation */

{{comic
| number = 2498
| date = August 4, 2021
| title = Forest Walk
| image = forest_walk.png
| titletext = The only other person to walk by was a linguist back in the 80s, but she just spent a while dissecting the phrase 'help me down' before getting distracted by a squirrel and wandering off.
}}

==Explanation==
{{incomplete|Created by D. B. COOPER. The explanation doesn't exist. We need to add the explanation for the main comic and the title text. Do NOT delete this tag too soon.}}

Megan is walking in a forest with Beret Guy who owns big part of it. Megan is surprised that he owns such a big property, however, Beret Guy is known for his inexplicable businesses such as in [[1493: Meeting]] and from [[1032: Networking]]; we know he probably has enough resources to be able to buy it. Alternatively, he might have simply inherited it form his mom [[502: Dark Flow]].

They meet a rather disheveled-looking bearded man hanging from a parachute caught in a tree. The man shakes a stick at them and demands to be helped down to the ground. Beret Guy simply addresses him as "Mister Cooper" and asks if he promises to return the money he took. The man angrily refuses, and Beret Guy casually says he'll see him again tomorrow, suggesting that this conversation has become a daily routine.

Megan asks if the man was D. B. Cooper. Beret Guy confirms that he is. He then comments on an owl nest as another bit of "neat stuff" found on his land, suggesting that he finds Cooper's presence to be moderately interesting but not really remarkable.

{{w|D. B. Cooper}} is the identity given to a man who hijacked a Boeing 727 aircraft in 1971. He collected a $200,000 ransom (equivalent to $1,250,000 in 2020) and famously donned a parachute and jumped from the plane over the state of Washington. Even after a lengthy FBI investigations, it is still unknown who he was or what became of him. The only thing known about him are a police composite drawing and the name "Dan Cooper" with which he had purchased his airline ticket. The name D. B. Cooper came about as a result of a miscommunication with the media.

D. B. Cooper who was already referenced by Randall in [[1400: D.B. Cooper]] and [[1501: Mysteries]].

Uncanny situations are nothing new to Beret Guy as he himself possesses may [[Strange_powers_of_Beret_Guy|strange powers]]. Because of this he seems to be unable to differentiate between something normal, such as owl nest in a forest, and something outright impossible{{Citation needed}} as a famous criminal hanging from a tree, otherwise unnoticed for decades, still thriving (though clearly aged) without any apparent source of food or water.

Title text seem to reference to the linguist from [[2390: Linguists]] who is more interested in linguistic nuances that people use when calling for help than in actually helping them. It is not known how many others have walked through Beret Guy's land, in the interim, or whether it is their own nature or the general auea from Beret Guy, but the linguist clearly did not much more than ponder the phrase "help me down", and Megan seems in no hurry to intervene either.

==Transcript==
:[Megan and Beret Guy are walking through a landscape with spread out trees and grass and puddles on the ground.]
:Megan: Wow, this is all yours?
:Beret Guy: Yeah! All the way back to the river!
:Beret Guy: I walk here every day.

:[Megan still walks towards Beret Guy who has now stopped and is looking up while speaking to a man hanging in a tree in front of them. The man has long wild hair and a large beard. He hangs from his parachute which has been folded around a large branch sticking out from beneath the top of the tree. He is holding a long stick of some sort, seemingly attempting to threaten Beret Guy, as the stick and his legs are vibrating as indicated with small lines.]
:Beret Guy: Morning, mister Cooper!
:Cooper: You help me down '''''this instant!'''''

:[Pan down to show only Beret Buy and nothing else. Cooper replies from off-panel from the top corner.]
:Beret Guy: Do you promise to give back all the money you took?
:Cooper [off-panel]: '''''Never!'''''
:Beret Guy: Okay! See you tomorrow!

:[Megan and Beret Guy continue walking through the landscape with three small trees behind them, as well as grass, rocks and a small puddle. Megan looks back over her shoulder towards where Cooper is hanging.]
:Megan: Was that D.B. Cooper?
:Beret Guy: Yeah, and up ahead there's an owl nest!
:Beret Guy: There's so much neat stuff here.

{{comic discussion}}

[[Category:Comics featuring Megan]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Beret Guy]]
[[Category:Comics featuring D. B. Cooper]]
[[Category:Animals]] 
[[Category:Squirrels]] 
[[Category:Language]]

2478: Alien Visitors 2

2021-06-18T15:10:51Z

SteveMB: /* Explanation */

{{comic
| number = 2478
| date = June 18, 2021
| title = Alien Visitors 2
| image = alien_visitors_2.png
| titletext = "Although fresh juice DOES sound--" "NO! For humanity to survive we must learn from the mistakes of the past."
}}

==Explanation==
{{incomplete|Created by a 1920s ELIXIR. Please mention here why this explanation isn't complete. Do NOT delete this tag too soon.}}
In the return of the aliens from the previous comic, they show more redundant inventions.

[https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Biplane Biplanes] are planes with two sets of wings, which have more drag then a [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Monoplane monoplane.]

A [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Blimp blimp] is a lighter than air aircraft with no internal structure. The point raised about hydrogen would be because it is highly flammable and dangerous.

[https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tetraethyllead Tetraethyllead] was a chemical added to gasoline from the 1920's to the 1990's to prevent [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Engine_knocking Engine Knock], until it was revealed to have highly toxic effects.

[https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Juicero Juicero] is a juicer.

After the latest showing of unimpressive "inventions", the humans start questioning how "advanced" the aliens really are, asking if they built the flying saucer themselves and suggesting that it might be wise to avoid standing directly beneath it in case it suddenly crashes to earth.

==Transcript==
{{incomplete transcript|Do NOT delete this tag too soon.}}

{{comic discussion}}

2474: First Time Since Early 2020

2021-06-10T16:39:54Z

SteveMB: /* Explanation */

{{comic
| number = 2474
| date = June 9, 2021
| title = First Time Since Early 2020
| image = first_time_since_early_2020.png
| titletext = Gotten the Ferris wheel operator's attention
}}

==Explanation==
{{incomplete|Created by a FERRIS WHEEL OPERATOR. Please mention here why this explanation isn't complete. Do NOT delete this tag too soon.}}

This is yet another comic part of the [[:Category:COVID-19|series of comics]] on the {{w|COVID-19 pandemic|2020-21 pandemic}} caused by the {{w|COVID-19|coronavirus disease 2019}} (COVID-19).

This comic is a chart that orders things based on the level of alarm that would occur if it were revealed that someone had not done a given thing since early 2020. Many of the items, but not all, are linked to new constraints due to the pandemic.

The title text serves as another chart point, though it isn't given where it is on the chart.

;Been to a birthday party
:Going to a birthday party was a normal task before the pandemic, and it's normal to say you haven't gone to one since early 2020.

;Eaten at a restaurant
:Eating at a restaurant without ordering food from it online was also common before the governments instated lockdowns, but it's ranked a little less normal by [[Randall]].

;Seen my family
:Seeing your family was fairly common before the governments instated lockdowns. However, there are emergency visits during the lockdown period.

;Been on a plane
:Governments around the world cancelled commercial flights during the pandemic. However, businessmen like Bill Gates used private jet during the pandemic.

;Gone to a movie
:Cinema halls around the world are closed due to the pandemic. Several movies are instead released directly to TV via OTT platform.

;Gone to a store
:Althought many stores are closed during the lockdown period, some markets are open for essential commodities. Therefore, going to a store for the first time since early 2020 is little strange.

;Installed software updates
:Regularly installing software updates is recommended, mainly for security reasons. However many people don't follow these recommendations (mostly by fear of software inconsistency or instabillity), although a delay of more than one year is quite long. Mentioning software updates is weird, because it is not directly related to the covid pandemic. On the contrary, since many people spent much more time at home and worked at home, it is all the more important to keep software up to date.

;Eaten a vegetable
:Since vegetables are essential to a healthy diet, not eating a single vegetable in a whole year is not recommended. Anxiety due to the pandemic, disruption of social relations, may have caused people to consume more junk food than usual.

;Opened the fridge
This is quite weird, since most people used their refrigerator to store fresh food. Maybe Randall became anorexic because of anxiety due to the pandemic, or he stopped consuming fresh food and relied more on junk food. Moreover, most food products will alter or rot if stored in a fridge for more than one year, and become dangerous to eat.

;Paid taxes
Although some people, depending on where they live and their income, may not pay taxes in an immediately obvious way, there are some taxes, such as {{w|VAT}} in many countries and {{w|sales tax}} in the United States or Canada, which almost everyone would pay in the natural course of everyday life, though may not be 'obvious' in the paying, or even be extracted at source (withheld from payroll) in the simpler cases.. (Randall lives in {{w|Massachusetts}}, which does not have a VAT, but does have a 6.25% sales tax.) It is therefore strange that someone could have gone a year without paying any taxes, implying they made almost no monetary transactions in the period, nor are made (directly) responsible for any residential or property-owning taxations that might otherwise be payable to one or other layer of government.

If the statement refers specifically to income taxes (which is often the case when people refer to "taxes", because the paperwork and large sums of money transferred at once makes the income tax highly noticeable and memorable), it might describe someone who filed a tax return for 2019 early in 2020 and then waited until later in 2021 to file a return for 2020.

;Washed my hands
One of the main pieces of advice during the pandemic was to wash one's hands, frequently. Even in normal circumstances, washing hands is a good idea to remain hygienic, and not do so for a year would be disgusting to most people, and a good way of catching diseases.

;Seen another person
Despite the restrictions, most people will have seen another person during the pandemic.

;Seen a ghost
The fact that the speaker apparently has seen a ghost, both now and presumably before early 2020 (else they would simply say it was the 'first time' they saw a ghost) is unusual.

;Served as a decoy
Similar to the previous point, this is not a normal activity, so the specificity is unusual.

;Sighted land
Most people live on land, so sighting land should not be unusual, even during a pandemic. The fact that someone has gone over a year without sighting land suggests they have been lost at sea for the duration. There are several reported cases of ships' crews refused permission to disembark, due to local restrictions and/or because their scheduled relief were unable to embark, but the unluckily held-on persons forced to remain beyond their originally planned obligations should never have been left permanently beyond any tantalisingly unreachable view of the shore.

Taken more literally, it could simply mean that the person remained indoors and did not look outside, or that the person was temporarily blind.

;Checked the news
If someone has not checked the news since early 2020, they will likely be in for a shock upon checking. Noting that this could possibly (if increasingly absurdly) still apply to someone like [[2396:_Wonder_Woman_1984|ponytail]].

;Checked on the customers in the escape room
The implication is that the customers in question have been trapped in the escape room since early 2020. Most escape rooms are not equipped to support a person for that length of time, so unless the customers actually escaped, they would likely not have survived.

;Contracted a novel bat virus
As a 'novel bat virus' is what kicked off the whole pandemic, contracting another one may send the whole world into a repeat of the pandemic.

==Transcript==
{{incomplete transcript|Do NOT delete this tag too soon.}}
: [Heading:]
: "This is actually the first time
: I've _____ since early 2020."
: [Below showing a vertical arrow with the words "normal" and "alarming" at the top and the bottom of the arrow respectively. At the right side of the arrow showing a long list of text starts with a traingle.]
: ◀been to a birthday party
: ◀eaten at a restaurant
: ◀seen my family
: ◀been on a plane
: ◀gone to a movie
: ◀gone to a store
: ◀installed software updates
: ◀eaten a vegetable
: ◀opened the fridge
: ◀paid taxes
: ◀washed my hands
: ◀seen another person
: ◀seen a ghost
: ◀served as a decoy
: ◀sighted land
: ◀checked the news
: ◀checked on the customers in the escape room
: ◀contracted a novel bat virus

{{comic discussion}}

[[Category:COVID-19]]
[[Category:Charts]]

2464: Muller's Ratchet

2021-05-17T23:04:31Z

SteveMB: /* Explanation */

{{comic
| number = 2464
| date = May 17, 2021
| title = Muller's Ratchet
| image = mullers_ratchet.png
| titletext = Who knew you could learn so much about sexual reproduction from looking at pictures on the internet!
}}

==Explanation==
{{incomplete|Made with SWORDAPP. Please mention here why this explanation isn't complete. Do NOT delete this tag too soon.}}
In this comic, Randall reviews a passage explaining the internet with terms associated with evolution.

In this comic, the constant resharing and changing of popular photos is used to explain evolutionary processes, namely Muller's Ratchet and recombination.

Recombination is the combination of genetic material from chromosomes, shuffling genes during meiosis. In this case, it is being compared to shuffling and recombining aspects of an edited digital image. Sometimes, recombination can combine multiple good genes - like the sword and cat being combined in the image.

The degradation of digital images has previously been explored in [[1683: Digital Data]].

The title text has a double meaning, referring both to the ways these particular images on the Internet illustrate these evolutionary processes (which are driven by the mechanisms of biological reproduction, including sexual reproduction) and to the amount of erotic imagery illustrating the mechanics of sexual activity one might find on the Internet.

==Transcript==
{{incomplete transcript|Do NOT delete this tag too soon.}}
:[A caption sits above a slightly greyed-out photo of Hairbun holding out a squirrel to Cueball, who has his hand over his face and is leaning away. Below are arrows leading to much smaller variations of the photo, all altered in some way.]
:[From left to right: Image with the sides cropped and black text bordered by white in the bottom center; image with black text in white box with black border above squirrel, on Hairbun, and on Cueball; image identical to the original but with softer edges; image cropped around all sides to exclude all negative space around frame, with white text bordered by black near the top and bottom center; image cropped to cut out half of Hairbun and Cueball's legs and featuring the squirrel holding a sword out at Cueball; image same as the original except with black text bordered by white on top of the squirrel, Hairbun, and Cueball; and image blurred out and at low resolution with black text in white oval on top of Hairbun and Cueball.]
:Caption: When a photo goes around on social media, people create lots of new versions of it.

:[A larger depiction of an image altered to cut out some of Hairbun and Cueball's legs and the squirrel holding a sword to the left of a caption, with a faint, shadowed wordmark saying "Made with ''SwordApp'']
:Caption: Sometimes, one of the edited versions becomes more popular and supplants the original. But often, the new version isn't made from the best copy of the image. It may be pixelated, cropped, or watermarked.
:[The same image appears with a grey box around it showing the cropped-out areas and an arrow pointing into it saying "lost". To the left is a caption.]
:Caption: As long as those flaws are minor enough that they don't cancel out the big change, the new version can still win out. Each good change brings with it random background damage. The degradation only goes one way. Once an image is cropped, its descendents will be, too. This steady loss of information is called '''''Muller's Ratchet'''''.
:[The original photo and the edited replacement are side-by-side, with the original on the right and the replacement on the left. The area above the squirrel where the sword is shown in the replacement is circled with a dotted line in both images. In the original, the area inside is greyed out, and in the replacement, the entire image is greyed out except for that area.]
:[Arrows point from the emphasized parts of both images to a new photo below that combines the original image with the sword from the replacement. A caption sits to the left.]
:Caption: But there's a solution. The old versions are still around, so if you have an image editor that lets you splice together parts of two images, you can make a new version with the best parts of both. This process is called '''''recombination...''''']
:[All previous panels are grouped in one big box, with a caption below the entire frame]
:Caption: People use evolutionary metaphors to explain the spread of internet content, but at this point we have so much more experience with the internet that I feel like it often makes more sense the other way around.

{{comic discussion}}

2367: Masks

2021-03-04T16:22:21Z

SteveMB: /* Types of masks */

{{comic
| number = 2367
| date = October 2, 2020
| title = Masks
| image = masks.png
| titletext = Haunted Halloween masks from a mysterious costume shop that turn you evil and grow into your skin score a surprisingly high 80% filtration efficiency in R. L. Stine-sponsored NIOSH tests.
}}

==Explanation==
This comic is another in a [[:Category:COVID-19|series of comics]] related to the {{w|2019–20 coronavirus outbreak|2020 pandemic}} of the {{w|coronavirus}} {{w|SARS-CoV-2}}, which causes {{w|COVID-19}}.

This comic is a line from top to bottom explaining how good different types of masks are at preventing respiratory virus transmission. As with many comics in 2020, it is a reference to the [[:Category:COVID-19|2020 pandemic]] of the coronavirus SARS-CoV-2, which causes COVID-19, a virus that primarily transmits through air droplets expelled from the human nose and mouth. This comic may have been inspired from [https://www.polygon.com/entertainment/2020/5/15/21259215/how-to-wear-masks-superhero-costumes-coronavirus-effectiveness a Polygon article published on May 15th].

===Types of masks===
*'''{{w|Zorro}}'''/'''{{w|Lone Ranger}}''': A strip of cloth around the eye-level. Since it does not cover the mouth and nose, the main ways the virus leaves the body to infect others, or the mouth, nose and eyes, the main ways it enters the body, it is ineffective and no better than wearing no mask at all.
*'''{{w|Batman}}''': Batman's iconic headgear has gone through many revisions, and consists either of a simple cloth cowl or a helmet and visor. Does not cover the mouth, but may cover the nose. However, the mask only covers the top part of the face, i.e., not the nostrils. This mask might be slightly more effective than the Lone Ranger style mask due to the intimidation effect keeping other people back.
*'''Theater masks''' ({{w|Sock and buskin}}): Traditionally used as a symbol of performance theater since ancient Greece. The eye and mouth holes are often open, thus exposing the wearer.
*'''Skincare''' ({{w|facial mask}}): A layer of mud or moisturizer. By nature, it does not cover the mouth or nostrils, but it may keep the wearer from touching their face and is usually worn by someone sitting in a chair or lying back on a bed, not out getting in other people's personal space.
*'''Scarecrow''': A burlap sack. While it provides some cover to the mouth and nose, it is heavily porous. This could also refer to the {{w|Scarecrow (DC Comics)|Scarecrow}}, a DC Comics villain. If so, the mask would probably be much more effective than an ordinary burlap sack, as that character uses airborne drugs as weapons, and would have to have very good filter ability to protect himself.
*'''{{w|Guy Fawkes mask}}''': A plastic mask that is a stylized depiction of {{w|Guy Fawkes}} (designed by David Lloyd for the comic book ''{{w|V for Vendetta}}'' and made popular by {{w|V for Vendetta (film)|its movie adaptation}} and subsequent adoption by the {{w|Anonymous (group)|Anonymous}} movement). Most Guy Fawkes masks provide small holes in the front for comfort, thus facilitating spread of the virus.
*'''{{w|Cloth face mask|Cloth}}''': A cloth mask that blocks most large particles, like virus-laden saliva. To be most effective, it must cover nose as well as the mouth. These are much cheaper than N95 masks, and can be reused by washing. Not all cloth masks are created equal, some designs and materials are more effective than others at holding back contagious particles, but Randall lists them under "Effective" on the whole. They are relatively effective at preventing the wearer from infecting others, but are less effective at protecting the wearer from being infected by others, because droplets leaving the body are large enough to block, but small enough to get through cloth after evaporation. The felt-like nonwoven fabric of surgical masks blocks more droplets and aerosols than the same thickness of knit or woven fabric.
*'''{{w|Spider-Man|SpiderMan}}'''''[sic]'': A full face covering of spandex-like material (Spider-Man comics rarely if ever specify what material Spider-Man makes his costume from). Would block most virus particles. (The correct spelling is "Spider-Man", with a hyphen, and "Man" capitalized.)
*'''{{w|N95 mask|N95}}''': A standard air filtration mask, commonly used in industry but also used in healthcare. The name "N95" signals that it is not resistant to oil, but successfully filters 95% of airborne particles. It has proven to be one of the more successful masks during the 2020 pandemic. N95 masks usually include non-woven filtration material, which while often stiff like cardstock, is more similar to the felt-like fabric of surgical masks than to woven cloth. N95 masks can [https://youtu.be/eAdanPfQdCA filter particles much smaller] than the gaps between layers and strands in the fabric.
*'''{{w|scuba set|SCUBA}}''': A '''S'''elf-'''C'''ontained '''U'''nderwater '''B'''reathing '''A'''pparatus. Most SCUBA equipment used an open-circuit design allowing exhaled air to vent to the atmosphere. Underwater, this would not be a threat to other divers who would also be breathing air from their tanks. However, on land a typical SCUBA regulator would expose others to virus particles. Closed-circuit SCUBA equipment recirculates the user’s gas supply but they still contain a means of venting extra gas into the atmosphere. Neither system contains expiratory HEPA filters making both ineffective at preventing virus transmission. That all said, SCUBA equipment still covers the face and nose, rather than directly exposing others to unshielded breathing and coughing.
*'''{{w|Darth Vader|Vader}}''': Reference to one of the main antagonists in {{w|''Star Wars''}}, in which he wears a suit of armor with a built-in rebreather. Similar to SCUBA gear, it circulates air back to the user, in order to defend against the spread of the virus to the wearer.
*'''{{w|Mysterio}}''': Reference to one of the antagonists in ''{{w|Marvel Comics}}''’ {{w|Spider-Man}} as part of the {{w|Sinister Six}}. He wears a glass helmet. In the comics Mysterio often uses mind-altering chemicals, and his suit is designed to shield himself from his own weapons. By the same design, it would shield himself and others from the spread of viral infection.

'''Haunted Halloween Masks''': The [[title text]] is a reference to ''{{w|The Haunted Mask}}'' by {{w|R. L. Stine}}, a book in the {{w|Goosebumps (original series)|''Goosebumps'' series}}. The mask transforms the wearer into a monster, with an open (uncovered) nose and mouth. The test results claim that the wearer is still somehow substantially protected against inhaling virus particles, but this may be a fraudulent test result due to pressure from the sponsor of the test, R. L. Stine, to get more people to wear such masks; it is also possible that the supernatural effects somehow include blocking virus particles, as parasites generally benefit from keeping their hosts alive and healthy, at least in the short term. NIOSH refers to the ''{{w|National Institute for Occupational Safety and Health}}''.

==Position on chart==
*[With 0% at the top position of the top arrow and 100% effective at the position of the bottom arrow the masks effectiveness would be approximately as follows:]
:[02%] Zorro/Lone Ranger
:[03%] Batman
:[07%] Theater
:[10%] Skincare
:[15%] Scarecrow
:[18%] Guy Fawkes
:[48%] Cloth
:[52%] Spider-Man
:[68%] N95
:[71%] Scuba
:[80%] Vader
:[90%] Mysterio

==Transcript==
:[A chart is shown with a title and explanation at the top:]
:<big>'''Masks'''</big>
:By effectiveness at preventing respiratory virus transmission

:[The chart consist of a vertical line going top to bottom with arrows at both ends. There are labels at the top, aorund the middle and at the bottom:]
:Not effective.
:Effective
:Extremely Effective

:[Along the line there are 12 bullets. From each bullet there goes a line (often with one or two turns) to a depiction of a type of mask. Each mask type is labeled. The first six masks are all close to the top, the last only halfway down to the middle of the line. The next two are right around the middle, then two are halfway towards the bottom from there and the final two are close to the bottom, with the last very close to the botom. From top to bottom:]
:Zorro/Lone Ranger
:Batman
:Theater
:Skincare
:Scarecrow
:Guy Fawkes
:Cloth
:SpiderMan
:N95
:Scuba
:Vader
:Mysterio

{{comic discussion}}

[[Category:COVID-19]]
[[Category:Comics featuring face masks]]
[[Category:Charts]]
[[Category:Rankings]]
[[Category:Fiction]]
[[Category:Star Wars]]

2384: Set in the Present

2020-11-12T14:00:00Z

SteveMB: /* Explanation */

{{comic
| number = 2384
| date = November 11, 2020
| title = Set in the Present
| image = set_in_the_present.png
| titletext = She referenced Billie Eilish, so this must be getting pretty close to the pandemic. But we've seen the last two years in-universe, so if it's set in the future, they must be in at least 2023 by now. [*adds thumbtacks and string to wall*]
}}

==Explanation==
{{incomplete|Created by an ALTERNATE NO-COVID TIMELINE. Please mention here why this explanation isn't complete. Do NOT delete this tag too soon.}}

[[Cueball]] is watching a wall-mounted television set that's showing either a movie or a TV program. On-screen, people are talking face-to-face without face masks, and other maskless people mingle in the background. Although he's not engaged with the plot, Cueball has picked up enough setting clues to know that the story is set in or near the present day. However, the actual present day includes a raging pandemic ({{w|COVID-19 pandemic|COVID-19}}), the likes of which have not been seen in a century. The program doesn't reflect this, and Cueball is driven to distraction by the mismatch between his world and its.

In a generic setting, stories can date themselves through the appearance of era-specific technology (such as cell phone models, which Cueball notes) or pop culture references ({{w|Billie Eilish}} is mentioned in the title text). These clues support the idea that the story is current, but the story's world is still fundamentally different without the pandemic. Attempting to resolve the question, Cueball considers the possibility that the story is set in 2019 (COVID-19 did not emerge until late that year and did not become a pandemic until 2020); a vaccinated future where COVID-19 has been cured; or that it is 2020, but the characters are simply being reckless with their own (and each others') health. Alternatively, this story could occur in an {{w|alternate timeline}} with no COVID. In the realm of books, writers in at least one subgenre within romance fiction have adopted the 'alternate timeline' approach, on the argument that COVID-19 is an element of the real world from which their readership is trying to escape.

Movies and television productions are enormously complex, and months, if not years, can pass between when a screenplay is written and the finished product finishes filming. There is often an additional gap between the end of production and a program's release. Together, these delays mean that most movies and TV shows still coming out in the pandemic reflect the world as it was before COVID hit. Even if produced after COVID-19 had already began, many movies and TV shows may not reference COVID or mask-wearing, leading to Cueball's confusion/distraction. Also, the production lag time would affect era-specific technology such as cell phones, which would reflect the time at which the production was filmed rather than the time it was released and viewed. Thus, a story set in "the present day" will actually reflect the world of some months or years in the past.

The idea of using thumbtacks and strings (usually accompanied by newspaper clippings and photographs) to study a problem is pop-culture shorthand for a conspiracy theory. Randall has previously mentioned this in [[2244: Thumbtacks And String]].

==Transcript==
:[Cueball is standing and watching a wall-mounted flat-screen television (everything else is just white, no indication of the wall other than the screen hanging there). On the screen, Megan and Ponytail are seen talking face to face gesturing at each other. Their faces are close together and there are no masks present. In the background behind them, a couple holding hands can be seen to the left and at least two people walking close to each other to the right. They all look like Cueball. Cueball is thinking while watching this, and his thoughts are shown in one large thought bubble above him:]
:Cueball: Okay, they're hugging, and no one has masks, but she has a modern phone. Is this story set in 2019?
:Cueball: Or is this a post-vaccine future? Or an alternate no-Covid timeline?
:Cueball: Or are we supposed to think these characters are irresponsible?

:[Caption below the panel:]
:Movies and shows that are vaguely set in "The Present" will be awkward for a while.

{{comic discussion}}

[[Category:Comics featuring Cueball]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Megan]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Ponytail]]
[[Category:Multiple Cueballs]]
[[Category:COVID-19]]
[[Category:Comics featuring real people]]

Talk:2217: 53 Cards

2019-10-22T13:22:38Z

SteveMB:

"This page was last edited [tomorrow]." Okay, good to know. Tomorrow starts three hours from now, my time. This comic reminded me of this article: https://arstechnica.com/science/2019/10/corkscrewing-bouncy-ion-drive-would-provide-thrust-in-different-universe/ [[Special:Contributions/172.68.38.88|172.68.38.88]] 00:44, 19 October 2019 (UTC)

I can do this, but my flowchart would be different and involve secretly inserting a joker, using the shuffling as cover for the move.
Collect a deck of 52 cards and have a spectator count the cards. - Secretly hide a joker from the deck in your off-hand (the one without the deck). - Shuffle the cards, letting the hidden card drop on top of the deck. - Keep shuffling, so the inserted joker is well mixed into the deck. - Have a spectator count the cards, looking only at the backs. - 53.
[[User:Nutster|Nutster]] ([[User talk:Nutster|talk]]) 04:56, 19 October 2019 (UTC)

Actually this is also what encryption scientists have to face talking to not so few encryption enthusiasts who just invented their own encryption method[[Special:Contributions/162.158.234.112|162.158.234.112]] 07:01, 19 October 2019 (UTC)
:Ohg V unir na haornnoyr pvcure! [[Special:Contributions/162.158.158.253|162.158.158.253]] 13:52, 19 October 2019 (UTC)
:The difference is that those "own excryption methods" usually work ... not well, but at least little. Now, the algorithms which claim to compress ANY input to smaller size, those tend to be suspicious ... -- [[User:Hkmaly|Hkmaly]] ([[User talk:Hkmaly|talk]]) 22:15, 19 October 2019 (UTC)

Wait, isn't perpetual motion (w.r.t. a inertial reference frame) possible, at least according to Newtonian mechanics? Just launch something into space at high enough speed and "watch" it wander away forever. Extracting (an unbounded amount of) energy from that object is a totally different story... --[[Special:Contributions/162.158.234.94|162.158.234.94]] 10:11, 19 October 2019 (UTC)
:Not really, as even in vacuums particles randomly come into existence. Eventually enough would be in the path to slow it to a stop. [[Special:Contributions/162.158.62.151|162.158.62.151]] 17:37, 19 October 2019 (UTC)
::Not in Newtonian mechanics. Those random particles are result of quantum physics - and in quantum physics, EVERYTHING is possible, just unlikely (there is extremely small but nonzero probability that all particles in macroscopic object would exhibit tunneling effect moving them in same direction, for example). -- [[User:Hkmaly|Hkmaly]] ([[User talk:Hkmaly|talk]]) 22:15, 19 October 2019 (UTC)
:Vacuum fluctuation (particles), i.e. quantum weirdness, cannot cause trouble. This is because all working QFT, where these vacuum fluctuations appear, take as assumption the strict local conservation of energy-momentum 4-vector, which is the generalisation of what our OP is asking about. This is a fundamental backbone of all modern physics, not just Newtonian mechanics, and the only known violation is in cosmology. Needless to say, when we talk about perpetual motion machines, we have to start by omitting this trivial class. That is, we do not call systems that achieve perpetual motion by exploiting the conservation of linear or angular momentum alone, as perpetual motion machines. Some machines of that form that convert the energy and momentum from one part to the other could be a perpetual motion machine, because in those cases it is possible for the efficiency of conversion to be imperfect, in which case it will always practically be imperfect, leading to the eventual failure. Luckily, on Earth and in practice, there is no need to be careful, because even the linear or angular momentum special case, would be interacting with air---the best vacuum we can get, are still not perfect; it is not perfect even in actual space outside Earth. It just doesn't exist anywhere. [[Special:Contributions/162.158.165.118|162.158.165.118]] 20:49, 21 October 2019 (UTC) Uhhh, and what about ''Ptolemaic'' Mechanics? SOMETHING is keeping the spheres rotating. Seems Randall hasn't really thought this comic through. Someone should challenge him to prove that his comic is true in all idealistic conceptions of the real world.

Getting a 53 card deck from a 52 card deck is easy. First, cut the deck twice. Then, shuffle all parts together; be sure to suffer thoroughly. Finally, take off the top 5 cards, sneak in the Joker on the bottom while nobody's looking, and put the five cards at the "middle". Because of skewed philosophy, you will have gotten a 53 card deck![[Special:Contributions/162.158.122.186|162.158.122.186]]

“The amount of energy necessary to refute bullshit is an order of magnitude bigger than to produce it.” -Alberto Brandolini [[User:Menoshe|Menoshe]] ([[User talk:Menoshe|talk]]) 22:03, 19 October 2019 (UTC)

Note that while it shouldn't be possible to obtain energy from nowhere, there ARE methods which makes hard to find where the energy comes from, and some may be useful (say, perhaps as a new kind of battery?). Also, anything involving not-completely-understood phenomena, like black hole for example, might actually generate energy from source we don't know about yet (parallel universe or something like that). Meanwhile, lot of theoretical designs of perpetual motion machines without working prototype only contain steps which can't possibly get energy anywhere and are completely useless ... -- [[User:Hkmaly|Hkmaly]] ([[User talk:Hkmaly|talk]]) 22:15, 19 October 2019 (UTC)
: Black hole physics are one of the best understood. No part of understanding them requires parallel universes. The thing that is really a headache in General Theory of Relativity is that we still do not have a good, localised, way to express the energy stored in the gravitational field. Landau-Lifshitz pseudo-tensor is proved to be unique given the assumptions, but starts with a subtraction of the matter stress-energy tensor, and violates precisely this comic---it says that some gravitational wave situations don't carry away energy, when in fact we know those have to carry away energy. Better defined notions, like ADM energy, are global energy, not localised energy, so that we do not know what they mean, practically. However, even though we are still not fully understanding what mathematical quantity would correctly map to gravitational field energy in the theory, we still do know that it has to be gravitational field energy, and that it has nothing to do with parallel universes. Just to hammer down the singular mistake in your nice comment. [[Special:Contributions/162.158.165.118|162.158.165.118]] 21:01, 21 October 2019 (UTC)

In the picture it seems that he cuts the cards into a pile of 21 cards and 38 cards (thus making 59 cards) I'm sure that helps his argument (or he can't count.
: Yeah, I noticed that mismatch too! Actually, I interpreted the "cut" as referring to that one old trick where rectangular objects (usually banknotes) would be cut in half and then rearranged with small pieces missing, making one more object than there used to be. This of course would not be a case of "rearranging and shuffling". (If you're wondering why this doesn't work for ''actual'' banknotes, that's because the existence of serial numbers makes this trick far harder, and the ''repeated'' serial numbers on most modern notes make it effectively impossible. But back in the 19th century this actually used to be a problem.) --[[Special:Contributions/172.69.54.33|172.69.54.33]] 19:26, 21 October 2019 (UTC)

Perpetual motion is so easy that we've already done it. The universe isn't going to stop expanding anytime soon, afterall. Also, Voyager (and some other space probes). Everything is perpetual motion in space at solar escape velocity until/unless it hits something. [[Special:Contributions/162.158.214.88|162.158.214.88]] 18:35, 20 October 2019 (UTC)
: This case is by definition excluded from the discussion of perpetual motion. See above for my longer version on it. [[Special:Contributions/162.158.165.118|162.158.165.118]] 21:03, 21 October 2019 (UTC)

You can always rearrange the matter making up the 52 cards, into 53 smaller cards. [[Special:Contributions/108.162.212.17|108.162.212.17]] 19:21, 20 October 2019 (UTC)

It's easy to prove, using the Banach-Tarski theorem [[User:Cellocgw|Cellocgw]] ([[User talk:Cellocgw|talk]]) 12:39, 21 October 2019 (UTC)
:If you show me how to dissolve the cards into subatomar theoretical dots by shuffling, I agree. --[[User:Lupo|Lupo]] ([[User talk:Lupo|talk]]) 13:36, 21 October 2019 (UTC)

Sigh... I really don't like having to keep challenging Kynde, who I believe is a well-intentioned contributor... but as soon as I saw the rewritten explanation with confusing phrasing and broken English, I knew that it was him who did it, and honestly... it just makes the article worse. It's harder to read and comprehend, contains irrelevancies, and swings between explanatory points incoherently. It was, honestly, okay as it was (specifically [https://www.explainxkcd.com/wiki/index.php?title=2217:_53_Cards&oldid=181494 this version]). I don't really know what to do about it. I'm of the "be bold in making edits" school of wiki-ing, but I don't want to just flush away other people's well-meant contributions. [[User:Hawthorn|Hawthorn]] ([[User talk:Hawthorn|talk]]) 15:01, 21 October 2019 (UTC)

Unfortunately, plenty of physicists make the same mistake, losing sight of the fact that math is only a model that must conform to reality, a-la Zeno's Paradox. That's how you end up with silly claims of "if you can [go faster than light] [travel through a wormhole between two distant points in an expanding universe] you'll go backward in time". Or how about the pseudoscience of explaining failed models by assuming that there must be "dark" matter or energy, instead of acknowledging that the model, itself, must be fundamentally wrong the way an actual scientist would. — [[User:Kazvorpal|Kazvorpal]] ([[User talk:Kazvorpal|talk]]) 16:53, 21 October 2019 (UTC)
: What are the chances that the global scientific community, who are setup to attack each other to win funding, would require outsiders to tell them that dark matter and dark energy are indications that their models are "fundamentally wrong"? It just goes to show how rarely you talk to scientists. Cosmologists are always apologising for not knowing what dark energy is, treating them only as the cosmological constant (other alternatives are always explored, but none offer significant improvements upon cosmological constant simplicity). But the dark matter situation already merit a few observational wins, and are starting to look more and more like postulating neutrinos, which is a winning precedent. For two examples, firstly, we have observed localised dark matter causing gravitational lensing. Secondly, we see some galaxy collisions that have dark matter in the wrong place due to the collisions. These evidences are enough to convince most astrophysicists that the basic picture seems correct. Other than this, you should also work on understanding more about how theory and experiment interact in physics, before commenting more upon the matter. [[Special:Contributions/162.158.165.118|162.158.165.118]] 21:17, 21 October 2019 (UTC)
::You fail to understand: Even if something eventually turned up that they could claim is the equivalent of dark energy or matter, it would be an accident, and change nothing about how anti-scientific they had been. The methodology they use is not only wrong, but essentially identical to that used by advocates of the geocentric model when prosecuting Galileo. Dark matter and energy are epicycles and deferents, ridiculous tweaks to models that fail to naturally match observation. Any model that can't hold up to the simplest, barely-scientific benchmark of simply matching observation naturally is a failure. Any adjustments made are a departure from its fundamental premises. At that point it might as well be astrologers tweaking star sign analyses. — [[User:Kazvorpal|Kazvorpal]] ([[User talk:Kazvorpal|talk]]) 01:26, 22 October 2019 (UTC)
:::Well, do ''you'' have a model that matches reality better than what we have? Please enlighten us. Even the geocentric model matched observations and was regarded as ok for a few centuries until we got a better model. Since we don't have a better model, we should try to find evidence or otherwise for the model/s we currently have.

Well, since it's a non-closed system that is receiving energy... and matter is just solidified energy... :) I'm going to say that Cueball is right so long as his flowchart also contains a StarTrek replicator somewhere. [[Special:Contributions/172.68.90.64|172.68.90.64]] 20:08, 21 October 2019 (UTC)SiliconWolf

Where's the Banach–Tarski reference! There should totally be an earth-shattering Banach–Tarski reference. [[Special:Contributions/162.158.58.219|162.158.58.219]] 21:36, 21 October 2019 (UTC)

Agreed: There should totally be some sort of Axiom of Choice joke here as well.

See also Sam Loyd's "Get Off The Earth" puzzle (and similar illusions where shifting pieces of a larger picture changes the number of objects by redistributing pieces of each one).

2160: Ken Burns Theory

2019-06-07T16:09:15Z

SteveMB: /* Explanation */

{{comic
| number = 2160
| date = June 7, 2019
| title = Ken Burns Theory
| image = ken_burns_theory.png
| titletext = Some of the KBCU ancillary works try a little too hard to tie everything together. Doris Kearns Goodwin, the sports journalist featured in "Baseball," was somehow ALSO a famous historian who wrote bestselling biographies of Lincoln AND Johnson? Unrealistic.
}}

==Explanation==
{{incomplete|Created by Ken Burns. Please mention here why this explanation isn't complete. Do NOT delete this tag too soon.}}

Some fiction writers and filmmakers set some of all of their works in a common {{w|fictional universe|universe}}. When it's not obvious that several works from the same author are set in the same fictional universe, some fans may try to find a way to relate them to a common storyline (such as the examples of fan theories described in [http://mentalfloss.com/article/62835/5-common-universe-theories-movies this Mental Floss article]).

{{w|Ken Burns}} is an American filmmaker renowned for his historical documentaries. Therefore all his documentary series are set in a common universe - the real one, and usually a single part of it: the United States in the last two centuries.

The joke here is that Cueball is trying to find the common features between Ken Burns's series to set them in a common universe, as a fiction fan would do, "discovering" similarities between series that are just obvious and well known facts in American history. For example, several series have an office named "president" which Cueball "guesses" to be the same, and which obviously is just the {{w|President of the United States}}. Cueball also drawn inferences from facts established on one series to draw conclusions about another, when he ([https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Opposition_to_United_States_involvement_in_the_Vietnam_War correctly]) concludes that the 1960s protesters depicted in ''Baseball'' were protesting "Johnson's war" as depicted in ''The Vietnam War''.

==Transcript==
{{incomplete transcript|Do NOT delete this tag too soon.}}
[Cueball is standing next to Megan.]

:Cueball: Lincoln was "President" in ''The Civil War'' (1990), the same office held by Johnson in ''The Vietnam War'' (2017).
:Cueball: And ''Baseball'' (1994) briefly showed 1960s "protesters." I think they were protesting Johnson's war!
:Cueball: It all fits!

[Caption below the comic:]

I have a fan theory that every Ken Burns miniseries exists within a single cohesive universe.

{{comic discussion}}

2160: Ken Burns Theory

2019-06-07T16:09:02Z

SteveMB: /* Explanation */

{{comic
| number = 2160
| date = June 7, 2019
| title = Ken Burns Theory
| image = ken_burns_theory.png
| titletext = Some of the KBCU ancillary works try a little too hard to tie everything together. Doris Kearns Goodwin, the sports journalist featured in "Baseball," was somehow ALSO a famous historian who wrote bestselling biographies of Lincoln AND Johnson? Unrealistic.
}}

==Explanation==
{{incomplete|Created by Ken Burns. Please mention here why this explanation isn't complete. Do NOT delete this tag too soon.}}

Some fiction writers and filmmakers set some of all of their works in a common {{w|fictional universe|universe}}. When it's not obvious that several works from the same author are set in the same fictional universe, some fans may try to find a way to relate them to a common storyline (such as the examples of fan theories described in [http://mentalfloss.com/article/62835/5-common-universe-theories-movies this Mental Floss article]).

{{w|Ken Burns}} is an American filmmaker renowned for his historical documentaries. Therefore all his documentary series are set in a common universe - the real one, and usually a single part of it: the United States in the last two centuries.

The joke here is that Cueball is trying to find the common features between Ken Burns's series to set them in a common universe, as a fiction fan would do, "discovering" similarities between series that are just obvious and well known facts in American history. For example, several series have an office named "president" which Cueball "guesses" to be the same, and which obviously is just the {{w|President of the United States}}. Cueball also drawn inferences from facts established on one series to draw conclusions about another, when he ([https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Opposition_to_United_States_involvement_in_the_Vietnam_War correctly]) concludes that the 1960s protestors depicted in ''Baseball'' were protesting "Johnson's war" as depicted in ''The Vietnam War''.

==Transcript==
{{incomplete transcript|Do NOT delete this tag too soon.}}
[Cueball is standing next to Megan.]

:Cueball: Lincoln was "President" in ''The Civil War'' (1990), the same office held by Johnson in ''The Vietnam War'' (2017).
:Cueball: And ''Baseball'' (1994) briefly showed 1960s "protesters." I think they were protesting Johnson's war!
:Cueball: It all fits!

[Caption below the comic:]

I have a fan theory that every Ken Burns miniseries exists within a single cohesive universe.

{{comic discussion}}

2160: Ken Burns Theory

2019-06-07T16:08:37Z

SteveMB: /* Explanation */

{{comic
| number = 2160
| date = June 7, 2019
| title = Ken Burns Theory
| image = ken_burns_theory.png
| titletext = Some of the KBCU ancillary works try a little too hard to tie everything together. Doris Kearns Goodwin, the sports journalist featured in "Baseball," was somehow ALSO a famous historian who wrote bestselling biographies of Lincoln AND Johnson? Unrealistic.
}}

==Explanation==
{{incomplete|Created by Ken Burns. Please mention here why this explanation isn't complete. Do NOT delete this tag too soon.}}

Some fiction writers and filmmakers set some of all of their works in a common {{w|fictional universe|universe}}. When it's not obvious that several works from the same author are set in the same fictional universe, some fans may try to find a way to relate them to a common storyline (such as the examples of fan theories described in [http://mentalfloss.com/article/62835/5-common-universe-theories-movies this Mental Floss article]).

{{w|Ken Burns}} is an American filmmaker renowned for his historical documentaries. Therefore all his documentary series are set in a common universe - the real one, and usually a single part of it: the United States in the last two centuries.

The joke here is that Cueball is trying to find the common features between Ken Burns's series to set them in a common universe, as a fiction fan would do, "discovering" similarities between series that are just obvious and well known facts in American history. For example, several series have an office named "president" which Cueball "guesses" to be the same, and which obviously is just the {{w|President of the United States}}. Cueball also drawn inferences from facts established on one series to draw conclusions about another, when he ([https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Opposition_to_United_States_involvement_in_the_Vietnam_War correctly]) concludes that the 1960s protestors depicted in ''Baseball'' were protesting "Johnson's war" as depicted in ''Vietnam''.

==Transcript==
{{incomplete transcript|Do NOT delete this tag too soon.}}
[Cueball is standing next to Megan.]

:Cueball: Lincoln was "President" in ''The Civil War'' (1990), the same office held by Johnson in ''The Vietnam War'' (2017).
:Cueball: And ''Baseball'' (1994) briefly showed 1960s "protesters." I think they were protesting Johnson's war!
:Cueball: It all fits!

[Caption below the comic:]

I have a fan theory that every Ken Burns miniseries exists within a single cohesive universe.

{{comic discussion}}

2160: Ken Burns Theory

2019-06-07T16:08:16Z

SteveMB: /* Explanation */

{{comic
| number = 2160
| date = June 7, 2019
| title = Ken Burns Theory
| image = ken_burns_theory.png
| titletext = Some of the KBCU ancillary works try a little too hard to tie everything together. Doris Kearns Goodwin, the sports journalist featured in "Baseball," was somehow ALSO a famous historian who wrote bestselling biographies of Lincoln AND Johnson? Unrealistic.
}}

==Explanation==
{{incomplete|Created by Ken Burns. Please mention here why this explanation isn't complete. Do NOT delete this tag too soon.}}

Some fiction writers and filmmakers set some of all of their works in a common {{w|fictional universe|universe}}. When it's not obvious that several works from the same author are set in the same fictional universe, some fans may try to find a way to relate them to a common storyline (such as the examples of fan theories described in [http://mentalfloss.com/article/62835/5-common-universe-theories-movies this Mental Floss article]).

{{w|Ken Burns}} is an American filmmaker renowned for his historical documentaries. Therefore all his documentary series are set in a common universe - the real one, and usually a single part of it: the United States in the last two centuries.

The joke here is that Cueball is trying to find the common features between Ken Burns's series to set them in a common universe, as a fiction fan would do, "discovering" similarities between series that are just obvious and well known facts in American history. For example, several series have an office named "president" which Cueball "guesses" to be the same, and which obviously is just the {{w|President of the United States}}. Cueball also drawn inferences from facts established on one series to draw conclusions about another, when he ([[https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Opposition_to_United_States_involvement_in_the_Vietnam_War correctly]]) concludes that the 1960s protestors depicted in ''Baseball'' were protesting "Johnson's war" as depicted in ''Vietnam''.

==Transcript==
{{incomplete transcript|Do NOT delete this tag too soon.}}
[Cueball is standing next to Megan.]

:Cueball: Lincoln was "President" in ''The Civil War'' (1990), the same office held by Johnson in ''The Vietnam War'' (2017).
:Cueball: And ''Baseball'' (1994) briefly showed 1960s "protesters." I think they were protesting Johnson's war!
:Cueball: It all fits!

[Caption below the comic:]

I have a fan theory that every Ken Burns miniseries exists within a single cohesive universe.

{{comic discussion}}

Talk:2107: Launch Risk

2019-02-04T17:41:27Z

SteveMB:

Gave a brief explanation, but I think it would be good to mention probability based logical fallacies and https://what-if.xkcd.com/55/. Don’t know how to link without it looking bad. This is my first page! [[User:Netherin5|Netherin5]] ([[User talk:Netherin5|talk]]) 17:28, 4 February 2019 (UTC)

Revised to a more extensive explanation including the fallacy that the second astronaut apparently realizes in mid-reply. [[User:SteveMB|SteveMB]] ([[User talk:SteveMB|talk]])

2107: Launch Risk

2019-02-04T17:39:23Z

SteveMB:

{{comic
| number = 2107
| date = February 4, 2019
| title = Launch Risk
| image = launch_risk.png
| titletext = Don't worry--you're less likely to die from a space launch than from a shark attack. The survival rate is pretty high for both!
}}

==Explanation==
{{incomplete|Created by an ASTRONAUT STRUCK BY LIGHTNING. Please mention here why this explanation isn't complete. Do NOT delete this tag too soon.}}

This comic deals with statistics based on a large population, such as all Americans, when the people in question are in a smaller group with vastly different statistics, such as astronauts.

In a capsule about to be launched into space, one astronaut asks another how he's feeling. The second one admits to feeling nervous. The first one offers the supposedly reassuring observation that he's more likely to be struck by lightning than to be selected as an astronaut. Such "more likely to be struck by lightning" comparisons are commonly used to illustrate that a particular risk is very remote, and thus should not be considered particularly frightening.

The second one agrees with the first one for a moment, but then realizes that something is wrong with the argument. Presumably, he realizes that the likelihood of being ''selected as an astronaut'' is a moot point -- he's there because he ''already has'' been selected as an astronaut. The relevant concern is the risk level faced by an astronaut, given that he already holds that position. Unfortunately, the historical record shows that this risk is somewhat high, certainly far above the minuscule risk of being struck by lightning.

The title text refers to another common comparison, the risk of a shark attack. In addition to shark attacks being rather rare, they are also not as likely to kill the victim as is commonly assumed. Most people attacked by sharks, and most people launched into space, live through the experience; however, it remains true that both are considerably riskier than many if not most other common activities.

==Transcript==
{{incomplete transcript|Do NOT delete this tag too soon.}}

{{comic discussion}}

2084: FDR

2018-12-12T17:06:43Z

SteveMB: /* Explanation */

{{comic
| number = 2084
| date = December 12, 2018
| title = FDR
| image = fdr.png
| titletext = June 21st, 365, the date of the big Mediterranean earthquake and tsunami, lived in infamy for a few centuries before fading. Maybe the trick is a catchy rhyme; the '5th of November' thing is still going strong over 400 years later.
}}

==Explanation==

The United States Naval base at Pearl Harbor was [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Attack_on_Pearl_Harbor attacked in 1941], and is credited with starting the United States' involvement in World War II. The then US president, [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Franklin_D._Roosevelt Franklin D. Roosevelt] (FDR), issued a speech to the American people which begins with the line "December 7th, 1941. [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Infamy_Speech A date which will live in infamy...]". Whenever Randall writes "December" he feels compelled to complete the line, a mistake which is visible in this comic.

This may be a parody of a more common type of error in which people writing dates during January (particularly early in the month) accidentally write the previous year instead of the current one because the previous year number is an established pattern while the new one is a recent change.

The title text refers to the [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/365_Crete_earthquake 365 Crete earthquake], a historical earthquake with a magnitude of at least 8.0 which caused widespread destruction across the Eastern Mediterranean; and to [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Guy_Fawkes_Night Guy Fawkes Night], the anniversary of the famous failed attempt to bomb Parliament on the night of November 5th, 1605. The later event is immortalized in the rhyme "remember remember, the fifth of November, the gunpowder, treason, and plot", the former event less so--indeed, Randall (intentionally?) gets the date wrong; the quake was actually in July.

==Transcript==
:[Close-up of a form]
:[Name:] Randall Munroe
:Date: Dec <s>7, 19–</s> 12, 2018
:Country: United States

:[Caption below the frame:]
:FDR was so good at speeches that I spend a whole month each year writing the date wrong.

{{comic discussion}}

1958: Self-Driving Issues

2018-02-22T14:52:33Z

SteveMB: /* Explanation */

{{comic
| number = 1958
| date = February 21, 2018
| title = Self-Driving Issues
| image = self_driving_issues.png
| titletext = If most people turn into murderers all of a sudden, we'll need to push out a firmware update or something.
}}

==Explanation==

[[Cueball]] explains being worried about {{w|autonomous car|self-driving cars}}, noting that it may be possible to fool the sensory systems of the vehicles. This is a common concern with {{w|AI|AIs}}; since they think analytically and have little to no capability for abstract thought, they can be fooled by things a human would immediately realize is deceptive. And self-driving cars is a [[:Category:Self-driving cars|recurring subject]] on xkcd.

However, Cueball quickly assumes that his argument actually doesn't hold up when comparing AI drivers to human drivers, as both rely on the same guidance framework. Human drivers follow signs and road markings, and must obey the laws of the road just as an AI must. Therefore, an attack on the road infrastructure could impact both AIs and humans. However, humans and AIs are not equally vulnerable. For example, a fake sign or a fake child could appear to a human as an obvious fake but fool an AI. A creative attacker could put up a sign with CAPTCHA-like text that would be readable by humans but not by an AI.

Cueball further wonders why, in this case, nobody tries to fool human drivers as they might try to fool an AI, but [[White Hat]] and [[Megan]] point out the obvious sociological answer; that most {{w|Road traffic safety|road safety systems}} benefit from humans not actively trying to maliciously sabotage them simply to cause accidents. One of the most ingrained features in humans is to always drive on the correct side of the road (which sadly is not the same in all countries, but on the right side in the US, as well as in most other countries with a notable few exceptions, like the UK and other countries that has been influenced by the British Empire).

The title text continues the line of reasoning, noting that if most people did suddenly become murderers, the AI might be needed to be upgraded in order to deal with the presumable increase in people trying to cause car crashes by fooling the AI - a somewhat narrowly-focused solution given that a world full of murderers would probably have many more problems than that. As Megan sees humans as a 'component' of the road safety system, it might also be suggesting a firmware update for the buggy people who have all become murderers, one that would fix their murderous ways. We are not currently at a point where we can create and apply firmware updates for people, however... unless you count {{w|psychiatry}}, {{w|cognitive behavioral therapy}}, {{w|hypnosis}}, {{w|mind-altering drugs}}, {{w|prison}}, {{w|CRISPR}}, etc. A variation on the idea that humans are mentally "buggy" is suggested in [[258: Conspiracy Theories]], though in that case divine intervention is requested to implement the "firmware upgrade".

==Transcript==
:[Cueball is speaking while standing alone in a slim panel.]
:Cueball: I worry about self-driving car safety features.

:[In a frame-less panel it turns out that Cueball is standing between White Hat and Megan, holding his arms out towards each of them, while he continues to speak.]
:Cueball: What's to stop someone from painting fake lines on the road, or dropping a cutout of a pedestrian onto a highway, to make cars swerve and crash?

:[Zoom in on Cueball's head as he continues to contemplate the situation holding a hand to his chin, while looking in White Hat's direction. Megan replies from off-panel behind him.]
:Cueball: Except... those things would also work on human drivers. What's stopping people '''''now? '''''
:Megan (off-panel): Yeah, causing car crashes isn't hard.

:[Zoom back out to show all three of them again.]
:White Hat: I guess it's just that most people aren't murderers?
:Cueball: Oh, right. I always forget.
:Megan: An underappreciated component of our road safety system.

==Trivia==
The [[title text]] was published with a typo: "murderers" was misspelled as "muderers."

The theme of human fear and overreaction to the advent of more or less autonomous robots also features in [[1955: Robots]].

{{comic discussion}}

[[Category:Comics featuring Cueball]]
[[Category:Comics featuring White Hat]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Megan]]
[[Category:Self-driving cars]]

1958: Self-Driving Issues

2018-02-22T14:52:14Z

SteveMB: /* Explanation */

{{comic
| number = 1958
| date = February 21, 2018
| title = Self-Driving Issues
| image = self_driving_issues.png
| titletext = If most people turn into murderers all of a sudden, we'll need to push out a firmware update or something.
}}

==Explanation==

[[Cueball]] explains being worried about {{w|autonomous car|self-driving cars}}, noting that it may be possible to fool the sensory systems of the vehicles. This is a common concern with {{w|AI|AIs}}; since they think analytically and have little to no capability for abstract thought, they can be fooled by things a human would immediately realize is deceptive. And self-driving cars is a [[:Category:Self-driving cars|recurring subject]] on xkcd.

However, Cueball quickly assumes that his argument actually doesn't hold up when comparing AI drivers to human drivers, as both rely on the same guidance framework. Human drivers follow signs and road markings, and must obey the laws of the road just as an AI must. Therefore, an attack on the road infrastructure could impact both AIs and humans. However, humans and AIs are not equally vulnerable. For example, a fake sign or a fake child could appear to a human as an obvious fake but fool an AI. A creative attacker could put up a sign with CAPTCHA-like text that would be readable by humans but not by an AI.

Cueball further wonders why, in this case, nobody tries to fool human drivers as they might try to fool an AI, but [[White Hat]] and [[Megan]] point out the obvious sociological answer; that most {{w|Road traffic safety|road safety systems}} benefit from humans not actively trying to maliciously sabotage them simply to cause accidents. One of the most ingrained features in humans is to always drive on the correct side of the road (which sadly is not the same in all countries, but on the right side in the US, as well as in most other countries with a notable few exceptions, like the UK and other countries that has been influenced by the British Empire).

The title text continues the line of reasoning, noting that if most people did suddenly become murderers, the AI might be needed to be upgraded in order to deal with the presumable increase in people trying to cause car crashes by fooling the AI - a somewhat narrowly-focused solution given that a world full of murderers would probably have many more problems than that. As Megan sees humans as a 'component' of the road safety system, it might also be suggesting a firmware update for the buggy people who have all become murderers, one that would fix their murderous ways. We are not currently at a point where we can create and apply firmware updates for people, however... unless you count {{w|psychiatry}}, {{w|cognitive behavioral therapy}}, {{w|hypnosis}}, {{w|mind-altering drugs}}, {{w|prison}}, {{w|CRISPR}}, etc. A variation on the idea that humans are mentally "buggy" is suggested in [[258: Conspiracy Theories]], though in this case divine intervention is requested to implement the "firmware upgrade".

==Transcript==
:[Cueball is speaking while standing alone in a slim panel.]
:Cueball: I worry about self-driving car safety features.

:[In a frame-less panel it turns out that Cueball is standing between White Hat and Megan, holding his arms out towards each of them, while he continues to speak.]
:Cueball: What's to stop someone from painting fake lines on the road, or dropping a cutout of a pedestrian onto a highway, to make cars swerve and crash?

:[Zoom in on Cueball's head as he continues to contemplate the situation holding a hand to his chin, while looking in White Hat's direction. Megan replies from off-panel behind him.]
:Cueball: Except... those things would also work on human drivers. What's stopping people '''''now? '''''
:Megan (off-panel): Yeah, causing car crashes isn't hard.

:[Zoom back out to show all three of them again.]
:White Hat: I guess it's just that most people aren't murderers?
:Cueball: Oh, right. I always forget.
:Megan: An underappreciated component of our road safety system.

==Trivia==
The [[title text]] was published with a typo: "murderers" was misspelled as "muderers."

The theme of human fear and overreaction to the advent of more or less autonomous robots also features in [[1955: Robots]].

{{comic discussion}}

[[Category:Comics featuring Cueball]]
[[Category:Comics featuring White Hat]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Megan]]
[[Category:Self-driving cars]]

1948: Campaign Fundraising Emails

2018-01-30T15:16:59Z

SteveMB: /* Explanation */

{{comic
| number = 1948
| date = January 29, 2018
| title = Campaign Fundraising Emails
| image = campaign_fundraising_emails.png
| titletext = The establishment doesn't take us seriously. You know who else they didn't take seriously? Hitler. I'll be like him, but a GOOD guy instead of...
}}

==Explanation==

Many politicians and organizations in the United States have taken to using aggressive fundraising campaigns by email to seek campaign contributions.

This comic shows a caricature of many people's email inboxes right now. Signing a petition or expressing interest in a cause can lead to being added to a myriad of mailing lists for similar groups, all looking for support. It seems Randall has a history of donating to questionable candidates with poorly thought out campaigns, and that's gotten him onto some interesting email lists. The emails get more and more absurd as the list goes on. For example, the last one combines a request for campaign contributions with the infamous Nigerian Prince phishing scheme.

{| border =1 width=100% cellpadding=5 class="wikitable"
! E-mail Body !! Explanation
|-
|'''Donate now.''' It's crunch time, and we're low on cash. If you chip in just $5 by midnight, we...
|This is the classic formula, and may be a real example. It is always "crunch time" during a campaign (at least between filing for candidacy and election day), and campaigns are always "low" on cash relative to the unlimited funding they would prefer. The ends of financial reporting periods, often at midnight, are conflated with "deadlines" of significant consequence. Further, the donation requested is less about the actual money - even if $5 each from several thousand voters can add up - but to get a donor to have their money placed on a candidate, making it more likely that donor will vote for the candidate (via encouraging [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sunk_cost#Loss_aversion_and_the_sunk_cost_fallacy the "sunk cost" fallacy]).
|-
|'''Donate $35.57 now!''' Our data team has determined that we should ask you for $35.57 to optimize the...
|While fundraisers will try and work out how to gain as much money as possible, they would never explain this to their supporters. Such a precise amount would come about as a result of running the numbers through a computer simulation, and the obvious lack of humanity behind the calculated dollar amount would probably be offputting to a lot of would-be supporters. This may also be an exaggeration of Senator Sanders' presidential campaign, which sent e-mails asking for $27 because it was the average amount of their contributions up to that point.
|-
|'''Help.''' Our campaign made some mistakes and we need a lot of money ASAP. Any kind, but cash is...
|This email is honest about the campaign's incompetence, but is not likely to get much sympathy except from those already sympathetic to the candidate. Any campaign reduced to this level has probably already lost, though. The reference to "cash" lacks sufficient context to be clear; if the full message requests that recipients send cash that would raise several red flags (suggesting that the campaign's finances are in such disarray that it cannot process checks, credit cards, etc in a timely manner, and raising concerns that cash could be stolen or otherwise diverted more readily than other forms of payment).
|-
|'''Washington is broken.''' When I win, I'll look those other senators in the eye and tell them: "Jobs." Then I...
|This may be another real example. This appeal to emotion promises specific action that is unlikely to accomplish much, and is probably unlikely to happen even if the candidate wins, while suggesting the candidate vaguely cares about issues of importance to most voters, as measured by the polls, but may not be genuine or fulfilled. The mere statement of "jobs" as a meaningful political point is patently ridiculous, especially since no context or intent is provided with it.
|-
|'''Hopeless.''' It's bad. Really bad. If you don't chip in now, the darkness spreading across the land will...
|This is a favorite of moral campaigns, on both sides of a debate. Grand statements about evil and corruption taking over the country if the campaign does not get enough support are common, but they are extremely biased and dramatic.
|-
|As the first woman to fly a fighter jet through our state's formerly all-male university, I learned...
|Normally one would be the first ''from'' a university to do something, not the first to achieve something involving the university itself. Flying a plane through a university is risky at the very least, and depending on the definition of "through" here, could imply destruction of buildings or the plane itself, which might paint the candidate in an irresponsible light
|-
|'''We're broke.''' No paid staff. No ads. And the cafe has told us to stop using their wifi to send fundraising...
| This campaign tactic attempts to appeal to the reader's sympathy by describing financial struggles and poverty, but said tactics may instead make the movement look pathetic and poorly-organized, especially because the group is apparently so poor, they can't continue sending emails to ask for funding.
|-
|When Amy decided to run for Congress, I was like "Huh?" but I checked Wikipedia, and apparently it's a branch of...
|The reader would expect that the writer expressed surprise because they weren't expecting Amy to run for Congress, but the actual reason is because they didn't know what Congress was. If the aim is indeed fundraising, as the comic's title would imply, this message is very likely to give very poor (no pun unintended) results. While the familiar tone could be a communication strategy (although you might want to look serious and professional when asking for money), the author openly states not knowing what the campaign was about until recently, which would make potential donors doubt that their money would be put to good use.
|-
|-
|'''Are you familiar''' with the Dutch painter Hieronymous Bosch? His work illustrates my opponent's plan for...
|The works of [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hieronymus_Bosch Hieronymus Bosch], which are famous for depictions of [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hell Hell] and [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Limbo Limbo] as brutal places of highly imaginative torments, which the sender implies would be similar to the country under the opponent's plan.
|-
|Being a single mom running a small business while going to law school while being deployed to Iraq taught me...
|Each of these are typical "inspiring" stories for someone to bring up once they reach success, to show how they have persevered and come out on top, but it is extremely unlikely that all of these responsibilities and hardships would be burdening one person at the same time, and said person surviving all of these is even less likely.
|-
|-
|'''I will lead the fight''' against the big banks, special interests, the Earth's climate, and our children. I...
|A promise that goes from more universally relatable issues, but then moves to the controversial topic of climate change (with the implication that damaging the climate is the goal), and the universally ridiculous idea that children are an issue that needs to be contained. The fight "against our children" may be a reference to a popular [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bushism Bushism].
|-
|'''Wow.''' Have you seen this video of the squirrel obstacle course? Incredible! Anyway, I'm running because I...
|A typical form of {{w|clickbait}}.
|-
|'''Outrageous.''' Granted, this was a few years ago, but did you hear what President Ford said about...
|When a politician makes an offensive comment, it's common for the politician's opponents to send out fundraising emails pointing out the politician's offensiveness as a reason to give money to an opponent. Here, the sender's reaction and e-mail fundraising effort appears to be unusually delayed, as it refers to an alleged comment by {{w|Gerald Ford}}, whose term as President of the United States ended in 1977 and who died in 2006.
|-
|'''Whoops.''' Due to a typo, we spent months running attack ads against Tom Hanks. Now, we need to make up for...
|The email apologises for running months of attack ads against American actor {{w|Tom Hanks}}. Hanks is generally a popular and uncontroversial figure,{{Citation needed}} making him an unusual target for attack ads. This implies that the sender does not even know who their opponent is, and has mistakenly targeted the wrong person, demonstrating some significant ignorance and incompetence.
|-
|'''They say we can't win-''' that we're "underdogs" with "no money" who "lost the election last week." But they don't...
|May refer to [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Roy_Moore#U.S._Senate_special_election_campaign Roy Moore's attempts to overturn his loss in the December 2017 election for one of Alabama's US Senate seats], which came about a month before this comic and made national headlines. After the initial election count had him losing, he demanded a recount. That initial count said he had lost by a large enough margin that Alabama law required him to pay up front for a recount, and his campaign did not have enough funds available.
|-
|'''Our campaign's only chance''' is to seduce Jennifer ActBlue, heir to the ActBlue fortune. For that, we need a fancy...
|This e-mail alludes to [https://secure.actblue.com/ ActBlue], a political action committee that collects donations online for Democratic candidates. In reality, there is no ActBlue family nor any "Jennifer ActBlue" who is the heir to its fortune; the name ActBlue comes from the words "act" and "blue", referring to the {{w|Red states and blue states|color currently associated with the Democratic Party}}.
|-
|'''Doom.''' Where is the horse and the rider? Where is the horn that was blowing? They have passed, like rain on...
|This is an excerpt from {{w|J. R. R. Tolkien|Tolkien's}} poem ''[http://tolkiengateway.net/wiki/Lament_for_the_Rohirrim Lament of the Rohirrim,]'' appearing in ''{{w|The Two Towers}}'': 
Where now the horse and the rider? Where is the horn that was blowing? 
Where is the helm and the hauberk, and the bright hair flowing? 
Where is the hand on the harpstring, and the red fire glowing? 
Where is the spring and the harvest and the tall corn growing? 
They have passed like rain on the mountain, like a wind in the meadow; 
The days have gone down in the West behind the hills into shadow. 
Who shall gather the smoke of the dead wood burning, 
Or behold the flowing years from the Sea returning?
|-
|'''Warmest greetings.''' I am the crown prince of Nigeria. I am running for Congress because I believe that...
|The opening line is designed to sound like spam for an {{W | Advance-fee scam}}. These scams typically involve impersonating someone rich, often a Nigerian prince, who claims to be in trouble and promises to share a large sum of money if the victim helps him by sending a small fee in advance electronically. However, the second sentence of this email switches to sounding like a political fundraising email instead of an outright scam. This is either to establish a degrading comparison between flagrant scams and fundraising emails, or just to create a bait-and-switch joke.
|-
|The establishment doesn't take us seriously. You know who else they didn't take seriously? Hitler. I'll be like him, but a GOOD guy instead of...
|A candidate who compares himself to {{w|Hitler}}, even when promising to be GOOD instead, will probably not get many votes. The title text does however conform to {{w|Godwin's law}}.
|}

==Transcript==
{{incomplete transcript|Do NOT delete this tag too soon.}}

[An e-mail inbox window is displayed. On each line appears an illegible e-mail address and a checkbox.]

'''Donate now.''' It's crunch time, and we're low on cash. If you chip in just $5 by midnight, we... 
'''Donate $35.57 now!''' Our data team has determined that we should ask you for $35.57 to optimize the... 
'''Help.''' Our campaign made some mistakes and we need a lot of money ASAP. Any kind, but cash is... 
'''Washington is broken.''' When I win, I'll look those other senators in the eye and tell them: "Jobs." Then I... 
'''Hopeless.''' It's bad. Really bad. If you don't chip in now, the darkness spreading across the land will... 
As the first woman to fly a fighter jet through our state's formerly all-male university, I learned... 
'''We're broke.''' No paid staff. No ads. And the cafe has told us to stop using their wifi to send fundraising... 
When Amy decided to run for Congress, I was like "Huh?" but I checked Wikipedia, and apparently it's a branch of... 
'''Are you familiar''' with the dutch painter Hieronymous Bosch? His work illustrates my opponent's plan for... 
Being a single mom running a small business while going to law school while being deployed to Iraq taught me... 
'''I will lead the fight''' against the big banks, special interests, the Earth's climate, and our children. I... 
'''Wow.''' Have you seen this video of the squirrel obstacle course? Incredible! Anyway, I'm running because I... 
'''Outrageous.''' Granted, this was a few years ago, but did you hear what President Ford said about... 
'''Whoops.''' Due to a typo, we spent months running attack ads against Tom Hanks. Now, we need to make up for... 
'''They say we can't win-''' that we're "underdogs" with "no money" who "lost the election last week." But they don't... 
'''Our campaign's only chance''' is to seduce Jennifer ActBlue, heir to the ActBlue fortune. For that, we need a fancy... 
'''Doom.''' Where is the horse and the rider? Where is the horn that was blowing? They have passed, like rain on... 
'''Warmest greetings.''' I am the crown prince of Nigeria. I am running for Congress because I believe that...

{{comic discussion}}

1906: Making Progress

2017-10-25T13:21:46Z

SteveMB: /* Explanation */

{{comic
| number = 1906
| date = October 23, 2017
| title = Making Progress
| image = making_progress.png
| titletext = I started off with countless problems. But now I know, thanks to COUNT(), that I have "#REF! ERROR: Circular dependency detected" problems.
}}

==Explanation==
{{incomplete|Still needs work - Please change this comment when editing this page. Do NOT delete this tag too soon.}}
[[Megan]] has <s>procras...</s> made progress. While she started the day with lots of problems, she has entered those problems into a spreadsheet. This could allow her to tackle her problems in a more organised way and fix them more quickly. The humor lies in that none of the problems have actually been solved.

In the title text she reveals that even her spreadsheet has a problem, because "#REF Circular Dependency detected" is a spreadsheet error meaning that a formula is (possibly indirectly) using its own cell in the equation. This is because she has used the Count() function to find the number of problems to be solved, but since one of those problems is not knowing how many problems she has, it is trying to include itself in the count.

This counting problem may also be a metaphor for circular dependencies within the problems themselves, such that a solution to one problem would help solve another problem, but solving the first problem depends on a solution to the second problem. (Example: Organizing a cluttered mess of objects requires room to work, which is not available because of all the clutter.)

Arguably, this has introduced a further problem, so she actually now has (#REF Circular Dependency detected)+1 problems. It's also possible, since Megan has chosen to interpret the error message as a numeric value representing the number of problems she has, that she simply is not good at using her spreadsheet software, which may be another problem that needs adding to her list. The use of COUNT() has, rather than returning an exact amount of problems to solve, implied that her original problems cause so many more that she does indeed have "countless problems".

==Transcript==
:[Megan is sitting and looking at a laptop.]
:Megan: I started the day with lots of problems.
:Megan: But now, after hours and hours of work,
:Megan: I have lots of problems in a '''''spreadsheet'''''.

{{comic discussion}}

[[Category:Comics featuring Megan]]

1902: State Borders

2017-10-13T18:41:05Z

SteveMB: /* Explanation */

{{comic
| number = 1902
| date = October 13, 2017
| title = State Borders
| image = state_borders.png
| titletext = A schism between the pro-panhandle and anti-panhandle factions eventually led to war, but both sides spent too much time working on their flag designs to actually do much fighting.
}}

==Explanation==
{{incomplete|Add a table of all the proposed changes, explain title text... Do NOT delete this tag too soon.}}

In this comic, graphic designers take control of the United States, but the only thing they do is to change the state and national borders, as well as to some extent the coast line, using primarily esthetic criteria.

Despite the caption's rather blasé reaction to the graphic designers' master plan, the changes they propose could be rather tumultuous. Many U.S. residents will be made to live in new states, and thus be required to pay different taxes and obey different state laws. Some particularly unlucky U.S. residents living Arizona, New Mexico, Alaska and Minnesota will be required to file for citizenship in Mexico or Canada if they wish to continue living in their current homes.

{| class="wikitable"
|-
! Proposed change !! Explanation
|-
| Give to Canada || {{w|Minnesota}} has a small northern enclave (the {{w|Northwest Angle}}) which is accessible from the rest of the US only via the {{w| Lake of the Woods}} or by travelling through Canada. The new borders suggest giving this territory to Canada to simplify the state and national border.
|-
| This should be Wisconsin || {{w|Michigan}} is split to the Northwest with {{w|Wisconsin}} by {{w|Lake Michigan}}. The graphic designers suggest, by reassigning land, water and land again, to assign {{w|Ottawa National Park}} and {{w|Hiawatha National Park}} to Wisconsin.
|-
| If we're going to have a panhandle, why not commit to it? || {{w|Oklahoma}} has a "panhandle" to its west, which is a kind of {{w|Salient (geography)|Salient}}. The graphic designers don't want to go with this thing, but if it must, they suggest including the Northern parts of {{w|Arizona}} and {{w|New Mexico}} to go with it, as it shows commitment.
|-
| Let's be honest, this should be Canada too || {{w|Southeast Alaska}} should be given to {{w|Canada}}, presumably because it more neatly fits with {{w|British Columbia}}. This is slightly problematic, as the state capital, {{w|Juneau}}, is within this section.
|-
| Unlabelled cleanup at the junction of {{w|Texas}}/{{w|Oklahoma}}/{{w|Arkansas}}/{{w|Louisiana}} || Square off {{w|Southwest Arkansas}}, and move {{w|Lousiana's}} northwest border to meet up, presumably because square corners are better.
|-
| Unlabelled cleanup at the junction of {{w|Nevada}}/{{w|Arizona}} || Continue the line of Utah's western border and Arizona's far northwestern border south (replacing part of the {{w|Colorado River}} boundary), transferring part of Arizona's {{w|Mohave_County,_Arizona|Mohave county}} to Nevada.
|-
| Unlabelled cleanup at the junction of {{w|Kentucky}}/{{w|Virginia}} || Virginia's western border is shifted east to align it with the borders to the north and south, forming a continuous line along the {{w|Appalachian_Mountains|Appalachains}}.
|-
| Fix this thing || The border of {{w|Missouri}} cuts into {{w|Arkansas}}, in the so-called {{w|Missouri Bootheel}}. The Design Team has awarded that piece to {{w|Arkansas}}, straightening the border.
|-
| Align to Grid || Most of the Western states are variations on "Let's have a large box", but there's something a bit irregular about them. Never fear, the Design Team has fixed!
|-
| Why should Florida get Alabama's coastline? It has plenty. ||
The {{w|Florida Panhandle}} borders southern {{w|Alabama}} denying the state all but a sliver of coastline. Given that Florida already has an abundance of coast, the Graphic Designers consider the present arrangement unfair. Ceding the Florida counties west of the {{w|Apalachicola River}} have actually been {{w|Florida_Panhandle#Alabama_annexation_proposals|raised since the 19th century}}. This change would have the additional benfit of more neatly aligning Florida's western border with that of neighboring {{w|Georgia (U.S. state)|Georgia}}.
|-
|Enlarge Rhode Island & Delaware || {{w|Rhode Island}} and {{w|Delaware}}, the two {{w|https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_U.S._states_and_territories_by_area#Area_by_state.2Fterritory|smallest U.S. states by area}}, are often difficult to make out on a map of the United States. Expanding Delaware to occupy the entire {{w|Delmarva_Peninsula|Delmarva peninsula}} eliminates some boundary lines the designers apparently consider excessively fiddly.
|}

In the title text, the graphic designers have a civil war between the ones that favor "panhandles" in the borders, such as the Oklahoma one which is enlarged in the map, the Florida one which is removed in the map, and maybe others such as the Texas region known as the "Texas panhandle". However, they get too caught up in making the flag designs for their faction to actually fight. Randall has shown interest for vexillology (the study of flags) in the past.

==Transcript==
{{incomplete transcript|Do NOT delete this tag too soon.}}
:[An outline map of the United States is shown, including state boundaries. The following edit marks are shown in red text:]
:[Minnesota's Northwest Angle is circled] Give to Canada
:[Border between Wisconsin and Michigan's Upper Peninsula is crossed out] This should be Wisconsin
:[New York's Long Island is circled, with arrows and question marks pointing to New Jersey and Connecticut] Move Long Island to NJ or CT or make it its own state
:[New York's eastern border has been straightened]
:[Wyoming's western border is moved to align with that of Colorado. The Montana/Idaho and Idaho/Utah borders are extended to reach the new border. Similarly, Colorado's eastern border is moved to align with that of Wyoming, and the Nebraska/Kansas border has been extended] Align to grid
:[West Virginia's northern panhandle has been given to Ohio and part of its eastern panhandle has been given to Maryland. In return, Western Maryland has been given to West Virginia. The altogether effect is that West Virginia and Maryland have more compact shapes] Clean Up
:[Rhode Island has been enlarged to encompass southeastern Massachusetts, and Delaware now takes up the entire Delmarva Peninsula] Enlarge Rhode Island & Delaware
:[The Oklahoma Panhandle has been extended west until it reaches Nevada, taking the northernmost parts of Arizona and New Mexico with it] If we're going to have a panhandle, why not commit to it?
:[The Missouri Bootheel has been given to Arkansas] Fix this thing
:[The part of Virginia west of the Appalachian Mountains has been given to West Virginia]
:[The southwestern and eastern borders of Nevada have been extended into Arizona until they meet a point. A part of California is slightly extended to reach the revised border]
:[Parts of Arizona and New Mexico have been ceded to Mexico, and part of Texas has been given to New Mexico, so that the southern borders of Arizona and New Mexico and the northern border of the Trans-Pecos area of Texas collectively form a straight line] Clean Up
:[Parts of northeastern Texas have been given to Arkansas and Louisiana]
:[The northern and southern borders of Tennessee have been straightened] Straighten to fix survey errors
:[A line has been traced along the coasts of South Carolina, Georgia, and northern Florida] Good curve! Keep.
:[Alaska's southeastern panhandle has been circled] Let's be honest - this should be Canada, too.
:[The Alabama/Florida border has been erased, and Alabama's eastern border has been extended south until it meets the Gulf of Mexico] Why should Florida get Alabama's coastline? It has plenty.

:[Caption below the panel:]
:It was scary when graphic designers seized control of the country, but it turned out they just wanted to fix some things about the state borders that had always bothered them. 

{{comic discussion}}

1902: State Borders

2017-10-13T18:37:47Z

SteveMB: /* Explanation */

{{comic
| number = 1902
| date = October 13, 2017
| title = State Borders
| image = state_borders.png
| titletext = A schism between the pro-panhandle and anti-panhandle factions eventually led to war, but both sides spent too much time working on their flag designs to actually do much fighting.
}}

==Explanation==
{{incomplete|Add a table of all the proposed changes, explain title text... Do NOT delete this tag too soon.}}

In this comic, graphic designers take control of the United States, but the only thing they do is to change the state and national borders, as well as to some extent the coast line, using primarily esthetic criteria.

Despite the caption's rather blasé reaction to the graphic designers' master plan, the changes they propose could be rather tumultuous. Many U.S. residents will be made to live in new states, and thus be required to pay different taxes and obey different state laws. Some particularly unlucky U.S. residents living Arizona, New Mexico, Alaska and Minnesota will be required to file for citizenship in Mexico or Canada if they wish to continue living in their current homes.

{| class="wikitable"
|-
! Proposed change !! Explanation
|-
| Give to Canada || {{w|Minnesota}} has a small northern enclave (the {{w|Northwest Angle}}) which is accessible from the rest of the US only via the {{w| Lake of the Woods}} or by travelling through Canada. The new borders suggest giving this territory to Canada to simplify the state and national border.
|-
| This should be Wisconsin || {{w|Michigan}} is split to the Northwest with {{w|Wisconsin}} by {{w|Lake Michigan}}. The graphic designers suggest, by reassigning land, water and land again, to assign {{w|Ottawa National Park}} and {{w|Hiawatha National Park}} to Wisconsin.
|-
| If we're going to have a panhandle, why not commit to it? || {{w|Oklahoma}} has a "panhandle" to its west, which is a kind of {{w|Salient (geography)|Salient}}. The graphic designers don't want to go with this thing, but if it must, they suggest including the Northern parts of {{w|Arizona}} and {{w|New Mexico}} to go with it, as it shows commitment.
|-
| Let's be honest, this should be Canada too || {{w|Southeast Alaska}} should be given to {{w|Canada}}, presumably because it more neatly fits with {{w|British Columbia}}. This is slightly problematic, as the state capital, {{w|Juneau}}, is within this section.
|-
| Unlabelled cleanup at the junction of {{w|Texas}}/{{w|Oklahoma}}/{{w|Arkansas}}/{{w|Louisiana}} || Square off {{w|Southwest Arkansas}}, and move {{w|Lousiana's}} northwest border to meet up, presumably because square corners are better.
|-
| Unlabelled cleanup at the junction of {{w|Nevada}}/{{w|Arizona}} || Continue the line of Utah's western border and Arizona's far northwestern border south (replacing part of the {{w|Colorado River}} boundary), transferring part of Arizona's {{w|Mohave_County,_Arizona|Mohave county}} to Nevada.
|-
| Fix this thing || The border of {{w|Missouri}} cuts into {{w|Arkansas}}, in the so-called {{w|Missouri Bootheel}}. The Design Team has awarded that piece to {{w|Arkansas}}, straightening the border.
|-
| Align to Grid || Most of the Western states are variations on "Let's have a large box", but there's something a bit irregular about them. Never fear, the Design Team has fixed!
|-
| Why should Florida get Alabama's coastline? It has plenty. ||
The {{w|Florida Panhandle}} borders southern {{w|Alabama}} denying the state all but a sliver of coastline. Given that Florida already has an abundance of coast, the Graphic Designers consider the present arrangement unfair. Ceding the Florida counties west of the {{w|Apalachicola River}} have actually been {{w|Florida_Panhandle#Alabama_annexation_proposals|raised since the 19th century}}. This change would have the additional benfit of more neatly aligning Florida's western border with that of neighboring {{w|Georgia (U.S. state)|Georgia}}.
|-
|Enlarge Rhode Island & Delaware || {{w|Rhode Island}} and {{w|Delaware}}, the two {{w|https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_U.S._states_and_territories_by_area#Area_by_state.2Fterritory|smallest U.S. states by area}}, are often difficult to make out on a map of the United States. Expanding Delaware to occupy the entire {{w|Delmarva_Peninsula|Delmarva peninsula}} eliminates some boundary lines the designers apparently consider excessively fiddly.
|}

In the title text, the graphic designers have a civil war between the ones that favor "panhandles" in the borders, such as the Oklahoma one which is enlarged in the map, the Florida one which is removed in the map, and maybe others such as the Texas region known as the "Texas panhandle". However, they get too caught up in making the flag designs for their faction to actually fight. Randall has shown interest for vexillology (the study of flags) in the past.

==Transcript==
{{incomplete transcript|Do NOT delete this tag too soon.}}
:[An outline map of the United States is shown, including state boundaries. The following edit marks are shown in red text:]
:[Minnesota's Northwest Angle is circled] Give to Canada
:[Border between Wisconsin and Michigan's Upper Peninsula is crossed out] This should be Wisconsin
:[New York's Long Island is circled, with arrows and question marks pointing to New Jersey and Connecticut] Move Long Island to NJ or CT or make it its own state
:[New York's eastern border has been straightened]
:[Wyoming's western border is moved to align with that of Colorado. The Montana/Idaho and Idaho/Utah borders are extended to reach the new border. Similarly, Colorado's eastern border is moved to align with that of Wyoming, and the Nebraska/Kansas border has been extended] Align to grid
:[West Virginia's northern panhandle has been given to Ohio and part of its eastern panhandle has been given to Maryland. In return, Western Maryland has been given to West Virginia. The altogether effect is that West Virginia and Maryland have more compact shapes] Clean Up
:[Rhode Island has been enlarged to encompass southeastern Massachusetts, and Delaware now takes up the entire Delmarva Peninsula] Enlarge Rhode Island & Delaware
:[The Oklahoma Panhandle has been extended west until it reaches Nevada, taking the northernmost parts of Arizona and New Mexico with it] If we're going to have a panhandle, why not commit to it?
:[The Missouri Bootheel has been given to Arkansas] Fix this thing
:[The part of Virginia west of the Appalachian Mountains has been given to West Virginia]
:[The southwestern and eastern borders of Nevada have been extended into Arizona until they meet a point. A part of California is slightly extended to reach the revised border]
:[Parts of Arizona and New Mexico have been ceded to Mexico, and part of Texas has been given to New Mexico, so that the southern borders of Arizona and New Mexico and the northern border of the Trans-Pecos area of Texas collectively form a straight line] Clean Up
:[Parts of northeastern Texas have been given to Arkansas and Louisiana]
:[The northern and southern borders of Tennessee have been straightened] Straighten to fix survey errors
:[A line has been traced along the coasts of South Carolina, Georgia, and northern Florida] Good curve! Keep.
:[Alaska's southeastern panhandle has been circled] Let's be honest - this should be Canada, too.
:[The Alabama/Florida border has been erased, and Alabama's eastern border has been extended south until it meets the Gulf of Mexico] Why should Florida get Alabama's coastline? It has plenty.

:[Caption below the panel:]
:It was scary when graphic designers seized control of the country, but it turned out they just wanted to fix some things about the state borders that had always bothered them. 

{{comic discussion}}

1902: State Borders

2017-10-13T18:34:51Z

SteveMB: /* Explanation */

{{comic
| number = 1902
| date = October 13, 2017
| title = State Borders
| image = state_borders.png
| titletext = A schism between the pro-panhandle and anti-panhandle factions eventually led to war, but both sides spent too much time working on their flag designs to actually do much fighting.
}}

==Explanation==
{{incomplete|Add a table of all the proposed changes, explain title text... Do NOT delete this tag too soon.}}

In this comic, graphic designers take control of the United States, but the only thing they do is to change the state and national borders, as well as to some extent the coast line, using primarily esthetic criteria.

Despite the caption's rather blasé reaction to the graphic designers' master plan, the changes they propose could be rather tumultuous. Many U.S. residents will be made to live in new states, and thus be required to pay different taxes and obey different state laws. Some particularly unlucky U.S. residents living Arizona, New Mexico, Alaska and Minnesota will be required to file for citizenship in Mexico or Canada if they wish to continue living in their current homes.

{| class="wikitable"
|-
! Proposed change !! Explanation
|-
| Give to Canada || {{w|Minnesota}} has a small northern enclave (the {{w|Northwest Angle}}) which is accessible from the rest of the US only via the {{w| Lake of the Woods}} or by travelling through Canada. The new borders suggest giving this territory to Canada to simplify the state and national border.
|-
| This should be Wisconsin || {{w|Michigan}} is split to the Northwest with {{w|Wisconsin}} by {{w|Lake Michigan}}. The graphic designers suggest, by reassigning land, water and land again, to assign {{w|Ottawa National Park}} and {{w|Hiawatha National Park}} to Wisconsin.
|-
| If we're going to have a panhandle, why not commit to it? || {{w|Oklahoma}} has a "panhandle" to its west, which is a kind of {{w|Salient (geography)|Salient}}. The graphic designers don't want to go with this thing, but if it must, they suggest including the Northern parts of {{w|Arizona}} and {{w|New Mexico}} to go with it, as it shows commitment.
|-
| Let's be honest, this should be Canada too || {{w|Southeast Alaska}} should be given to {{w|Canada}}, presumably because it more neatly fits with {{w|British Columbia}}. This is slightly problematic, as the state capital, {{w|Juneau}}, is within this section.
|-
| Unlabelled cleanup at the junction of {{w|Texas}}/{{w|Oklahoma}}/{{w|Arkansas}}/{{w|Louisiana}} || Square off {{w|Southwest Arkansas}}, and move {{w|Lousiana's}} northwest border to meet up, presumably because square corners are better.
|-
| Unlabelled cleanup at the junction of {{w|Nevada}}/{{w|Arizona}} || Continue the line of Utah's western border and Arizona's far northwestern border south (replacing part of the {{w|Colorado River}} boundary), transferring part of Arizona's {{w|Mohave_County,_Arizona|Mohave county}} to Nevada.
|-
| Fix this thing || The border of {{w|Missouri}} cuts into {{w|Arkansas}}, in the so-called {{w|Missouri Bootheel}}. The Design Team has awarded that piece to {{w|Arkansas}}, straightening the border.
|-
| Align to Grid || Most of the Western states are variations on "Let's have a large box", but there's something a bit irregular about them. Never fear, the Design Team has fixed!
|-
| Why should Florida get Alabama's coastline? It has plenty. ||
The {{w|Florida Panhandle}} borders southern {{w|Alabama}} denying the state all but a sliver of coastline. Given that Florida already has an abundance of coast, the Graphic Designers consider the present arrangement unfair. Ceding the Florida counties west of the {{w|Apalachicola River}} have actually been {{w|Florida_Panhandle#Alabama_annexation_proposals|raised since the 19th century}}. This change would have the additional benfit of more neatly aligning Florida's western border with that of neighboring {{w|Georgia (U.S. state)|Georgia}}.
|-
|Enlarge Rhode Island & Delaware || {{w|Rhode Island}} and {{w|Delaware}}, the two {{w|https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_U.S._states_and_territories_by_area#Area_by_state.2Fterritory|smallest U.S. states by area}}, are often difficult to make out on a map of the United States.
|}

In the title text, the graphic designers have a civil war between the ones that favor "panhandles" in the borders, such as the Oklahoma one which is enlarged in the map, the Florida one which is removed in the map, and maybe others such as the Texas region known as the "Texas panhandle". However, they get too caught up in making the flag designs for their faction to actually fight. Randall has shown interest for vexillology (the study of flags) in the past.

==Transcript==
{{incomplete transcript|Do NOT delete this tag too soon.}}
:[An outline map of the United States is shown, including state boundaries. The following edit marks are shown in red text:]
:[Minnesota's Northwest Angle is circled] Give to Canada
:[Border between Wisconsin and Michigan's Upper Peninsula is crossed out] This should be Wisconsin
:[New York's Long Island is circled, with arrows and question marks pointing to New Jersey and Connecticut] Move Long Island to NJ or CT or make it its own state
:[New York's eastern border has been straightened]
:[Wyoming's western border is moved to align with that of Colorado. The Montana/Idaho and Idaho/Utah borders are extended to reach the new border. Similarly, Colorado's eastern border is moved to align with that of Wyoming, and the Nebraska/Kansas border has been extended] Align to grid
:[West Virginia's northern panhandle has been given to Ohio and part of its eastern panhandle has been given to Maryland. In return, Western Maryland has been given to West Virginia. The altogether effect is that West Virginia and Maryland have more compact shapes] Clean Up
:[Rhode Island has been enlarged to encompass southeastern Massachusetts, and Delaware now takes up the entire Delmarva Peninsula] Enlarge Rhode Island & Delaware
:[The Oklahoma Panhandle has been extended west until it reaches Nevada, taking the northernmost parts of Arizona and New Mexico with it] If we're going to have a panhandle, why not commit to it?
:[The Missouri Bootheel has been given to Arkansas] Fix this thing
:[The part of Virginia west of the Appalachian Mountains has been given to West Virginia]
:[The southwestern and eastern borders of Nevada have been extended into Arizona until they meet a point. A part of California is slightly extended to reach the revised border]
:[Parts of Arizona and New Mexico have been ceded to Mexico, and part of Texas has been given to New Mexico, so that the southern borders of Arizona and New Mexico and the northern border of the Trans-Pecos area of Texas collectively form a straight line] Clean Up
:[Parts of northeastern Texas have been given to Arkansas and Louisiana]
:[The northern and southern borders of Tennessee have been straightened] Straighten to fix survey errors
:[A line has been traced along the coasts of South Carolina, Georgia, and northern Florida] Good curve! Keep.
:[Alaska's southeastern panhandle has been circled] Let's be honest - this should be Canada, too.
:[The Alabama/Florida border has been erased, and Alabama's eastern border has been extended south until it meets the Gulf of Mexico] Why should Florida get Alabama's coastline? It has plenty.

:[Caption below the panel:]
:It was scary when graphic designers seized control of the country, but it turned out they just wanted to fix some things about the state borders that had always bothered them. 

{{comic discussion}}

1902: State Borders

2017-10-13T14:40:13Z

SteveMB: /* Explanation */

1895: Worrying Scientist Interviews

2017-09-27T16:06:51Z

SteveMB: /* Explanation */

{{comic
| number = 1895
| date = September 27, 2017
| title = Worrying Scientist Interviews
| image = worrying_scientist_interviews.png
| titletext = They always try to explain that they're called 'solar physicists', but the reporters interrupt with "NEVER MIND THAT, TELL US WHAT'S WRONG WITH THE SUN!"
}}

==Explanation==
{{incomplete|Created by a BOT - Please change this comment when editing this page. Do NOT delete this tag too soon.}}

{|
|-
! Intreviewee !! Worry level !! Explanation
|-
| Archeologist || Minimum || Likely just dug up some old ruins or bones. Unlikely to involve bad news, though it may possibly cause problems (e.g. if a construction project is delayed to accomodate an archaeological investigation).
|-
| Economist || Very low || News about the economy could be either good or bad, and in most cases is just more of the usual ups and downs rather than anything catyclysmic.
|-
| Nutritionist || Very low || Possible fad diet. Note that nutritionists tend not to be a protected profession, compared to dietitians. May be alarming if it involves credible information about bad health consequences of eating, or not eating, a particular food.
|-
| Criminologist || Low || Probably just crime statistics. May be somewhat alarming if crime is markedly increasing.
|-
| Ornithologist || Medium || Possible strange flying dinosaur behavior
|-
| Botanist || Medium || There might be a new invasive species to worry about.
|-
| Marine Biologist || Medium || There might be a new invasive species to worry about.
|-
| Entomologist || Medium high || There might be a new invasive species to worry about.
|-
| Astronomer || High || Possible [[Wikipedia:Deep Impact (film)|Deep Impact]]
|-
| Virologist || Very high || Some disease is likely spreading
|-
| Vulcanologist || Very high || A volcano might erupt soon, danger level depending on what volcano.
|-
| Astronomer who studies the sun || Maximum || There might be something wrong with the sun, the consequences of which could range from [[Wikipedia:Solar_storm_of_1859|major disruption to modern technology]] to the end of life on earth.
|}

==Transcript==
{{incomplete transcript|Do NOT delete this tag too soon.}}

How worried you should be if you see local reporters interviewing scientists about a breaking news story, by field:

[Chart showing "More worried" with an arrow to the right with these marks in progressively more worrying sequence.]
Archeologist 
Economist 
Nutritionist 
Criminologist 
Ornithologist 
Botanist 
Marine Biologist 
Entomologist 
Astronomer 
Virologist 
Vulcanologist 
Astronomer who studies the sun

Tag:They always try to explain that they're called 'solar physicists', but the reporters interrupt with "NEVER MIND THAT, TELL US WHAT'S WRONG WITH THE SUN!"

{{comic discussion}}

1895: Worrying Scientist Interviews

2017-09-27T16:04:23Z

SteveMB: /* Explanation */

{{comic
| number = 1895
| date = September 27, 2017
| title = Worrying Scientist Interviews
| image = worrying_scientist_interviews.png
| titletext = They always try to explain that they're called 'solar physicists', but the reporters interrupt with "NEVER MIND THAT, TELL US WHAT'S WRONG WITH THE SUN!"
}}

==Explanation==
{{incomplete|Created by a BOT - Please change this comment when editing this page. Do NOT delete this tag too soon.}}

{|
|-
! Intreviewee !! Worry level !! Explanation
|-
| Archeologist || Minimum || Likely just dug up some old ruins or bones. Unlikely to involve bad news, though it may possibly cause problems (e.g. if a construction project is delayed to accomodate an archaeological investigation).
|-
| Economist || Very low || News about the economy could be either good or bad, and in most cases is just more of the usual ups and downs rather than anything catyclysmic.
|-
| Nutritionist || Very low || Possible fad diet. Note that nutritionists tend not to be a protected profession, compared to dietitians. May be alarming if it involves credible information about bad health consequences of eating, or not eating, a particular food.
|-
| Criminologist || Low || Probably just crime statistics. May be somewhat alarming if crime is markedly increasing.
|-
| Ornithologist || Medium || Possible strange flying dinosaur behavior
|-
| Botanist || Medium || There might be a new invasive species to worry about.
|-
| Marine Biologist || Medium || There might be a new invasive species to worry about.
|-
| Entomologist || Medium high || There might be a new invasive species to worry about.
|-
| Astronomer || High || Possible [[Wikipedia:Deep Impact (film)|Deep Impact]]
|-
| Virologist || Very high || Some disease is likely spreading
|-
| Vulcanologist || Very high || A volcano might erupt soon, danger level depending on what volcano.
|-
| Astronomer who studies the sun || Maximum || There might be something wrong with the sun, which probably would lead to life on earth to come to an end
|}

==Transcript==
{{incomplete transcript|Do NOT delete this tag too soon.}}

How worried you should be if you see local reporters interviewing scientists about a breaking news story, by field:

[Chart showing "More worried" with an arrow to the right with these marks in progressively more worrying sequence.]
Archeologist 
Economist 
Nutritionist 
Criminologist 
Ornithologist 
Botanist 
Marine Biologist 
Entomologist 
Astronomer 
Virologist 
Vulcanologist 
Astronomer who studies the sun

Tag:They always try to explain that they're called 'solar physicists', but the reporters interrupt with "NEVER MIND THAT, TELL US WHAT'S WRONG WITH THE SUN!"

{{comic discussion}}

1895: Worrying Scientist Interviews

2017-09-27T16:00:48Z

SteveMB: /* Explanation */

{{comic
| number = 1895
| date = September 27, 2017
| title = Worrying Scientist Interviews
| image = worrying_scientist_interviews.png
| titletext = They always try to explain that they're called 'solar physicists', but the reporters interrupt with "NEVER MIND THAT, TELL US WHAT'S WRONG WITH THE SUN!"
}}

==Explanation==
{{incomplete|Created by a BOT - Please change this comment when editing this page. Do NOT delete this tag too soon.}}

{|
|-
! Intreviewee !! Worry level !! Explanation
|-
| Archeologist || Minimum || Likely just dug up some old ruins or bones
|-
| Economist || Very low || News about the economy could be either good or bad, and in most cases is just more of the usual ups and downs rather than anything catyclysmic.
|-
| Nutritionist || Very low || Possible fad diet. Note that nutritionists tend not to be a protected profession, compared to dietitians. May be alarming if it involves credible information about bad health consequences of eating, or not eating, a particular food.
|-
| Criminologist || Low || Probably just crime statistics. May be somewhat alarming if crime is markedly increasing.
|-
| Ornithologist || Medium || Possible strange flying dinosaur behavior
|-
| Botanist || Medium || There might be a new invasive species to worry about.
|-
| Marine Biologist || Medium || There might be a new invasive species to worry about.
|-
| Entomologist || Medium high || There might be a new invasive species to worry about.
|-
| Astronomer || High || Possible [[Wikipedia:Deep Impact (film)|Deep Impact]]
|-
| Virologist || Very high || Some disease is likely spreading
|-
| Vulcanologist || Very high || The local volcano is most likely going to erupt soon.
|-
| Astronomer who studies the sun || Maximum || There might be something wrong with the sun, which probably would lead to life on earth to come to an end
|}

==Transcript==
{{incomplete transcript|Do NOT delete this tag too soon.}}

How worried you should be if you see local reporters interviewing scientists about a breaking news story, by field:

[Chart showing "More worried" with an arrow to the right with these marks in progressively more worrying sequence.]
Archeologist 
Economist 
Nutritionist 
Criminologist 
Ornithologist 
Botanist 
Marine Biologist 
Entomologist 
Astronomer 
Virologist 
Vulcanologist 
Astronomer who studies the sun

Tag:They always try to explain that they're called 'solar physicists', but the reporters interrupt with "NEVER MIND THAT, TELL US WHAT'S WRONG WITH THE SUN!"

{{comic discussion}}

1895: Worrying Scientist Interviews

2017-09-27T15:59:59Z

SteveMB: /* Explanation */

{{comic
| number = 1895
| date = September 27, 2017
| title = Worrying Scientist Interviews
| image = worrying_scientist_interviews.png
| titletext = They always try to explain that they're called 'solar physicists', but the reporters interrupt with "NEVER MIND THAT, TELL US WHAT'S WRONG WITH THE SUN!"
}}

==Explanation==
{{incomplete|Created by a BOT - Please change this comment when editing this page. Do NOT delete this tag too soon.}}

{|
|-
! Intreviewee !! Worry level !! Explanation
|-
| Archeologist || Minimum || Likely just dug up some old ruins
|-
| Economist || Very low || News about the economy could be either good or bad, and in most cases is just more of the usual ups and downs rather than anything catyclysmic.
|-
| Nutritionist || Very low || Possible fad diet. Note that nutritionists tend not to be a protected profession, compared to dietitians. May be alarming if it involves credible information about bad health consequences of eating, or not eating, a particular food.
|-
| Criminologist || Low || Probably just crime statistics
|-
| Ornithologist || Medium || Possible strange flying dinosaur behavior
|-
| Botanist || Medium || There might be a new invasive species to worry about.
|-
| Marine Biologist || Medium || There might be a new invasive species to worry about.
|-
| Entomologist || Medium high || There might be a new invasive species to worry about.
|-
| Astronomer || High || Possible [[Wikipedia:Deep Impact (film)|Deep Impact]]
|-
| Virologist || Very high || Some disease is likely spreading
|-
| Vulcanologist || Very high || The local volcano is most likely going to erupt soon.
|-
| Astronomer who studies the sun || Maximum || There might be something wrong with the sun, which probably would lead to life on earth to come to an end
|}

==Transcript==
{{incomplete transcript|Do NOT delete this tag too soon.}}

How worried you should be if you see local reporters interviewing scientists about a breaking news story, by field:

[Chart showing "More worried" with an arrow to the right with these marks in progressively more worrying sequence.]
Archeologist 
Economist 
Nutritionist 
Criminologist 
Ornithologist 
Botanist 
Marine Biologist 
Entomologist 
Astronomer 
Virologist 
Vulcanologist 
Astronomer who studies the sun

Tag:They always try to explain that they're called 'solar physicists', but the reporters interrupt with "NEVER MIND THAT, TELL US WHAT'S WRONG WITH THE SUN!"

{{comic discussion}}

1885: Ensemble Model

2017-09-05T11:21:36Z

SteveMB: /* Explanation */

{{comic
| number = 1885
| date = September 4, 2017
| title = Ensemble Model
| image = ensemble_model.png
| titletext = I'm in talks with Netflix to produce an alternate-universe crime drama about the world where sliced bread was never re-legalized, but it's going slowly because they keep changing their phone numbers and the door lock codes at their headquarters.
}}

==Explanation==
{{incomplete|Requires descriptions of each entry. Do NOT delete this tag too soon.}}

An {{w|ensemble forecasting|ensemble model}} is a combination of multiple, similar models to show a wider range of possible outcomes. The graphs on the left are tracks of predictions from multiple models. In this comic, Randall starts out describing actual changes that ensemble models show, but sinks into absurdity, describing strange alternate universes and scenarios that likely would not be necessary in an actual model.

The upper graph looks like one plotting global temperatures with time using different scenarios, like this one: https://www.ipcc.ch/publications_and_data/ar4/wg1/en/figure-spm-5.html
The bottom right graph is a typical hurricane path-prediction graphic.

Not all of the outcomes are serious. They are explained below:
;…rain is 0.5% more likely in some areas
Historical rain data are used to estimate the probability of rainstorms of a certain size and duration occurring, e.g. the {{w|Flood Studies Report|Flood Studies Report}} in the UK. [[Randall]] here is suggesting that an alternate universe exists where these estimates are higher (and presumably lower) in some areas, and that the estimates of rainfall in this alternate universe is accounted for within ensemble modelling in our own universe. This sort of change in prediction is frequently used when accounting for 'worst case scenarios' in the design processes of structures such as dams. However, the figures to the left appear to indicate time-dependent models, which are typically physics based, e.g. {{w|Large eddy simulation|Large Eddy Simulation}} models or other atmospheric process based models. In those sorts of models, likelihood of rain is usually a prediction rather than a parameter, but might be used as a parameter in a second iteration.

;…wind speeds are slightly lower
A usual parameter.

;…pressure levels are randomly tweaked
A very vague but otherwise understandable parameter.

;…dogs run slightly faster
This is where the comic diverges from reality; there is no reason to have the locomotion speed of dogs as a parameter.

;…there is one extra cloud in the Bahamas
This situation is most likely too specific and subtle a difference to be useful to the model.

;…Germany won WWII
"What if Germany won World War II" is a {{w|Hypothetical Axis victory in World War II|very popular}} subject for {{w|alternate history}} stories.

;…snakes are wide instead of long

;…Will Smith took the lead in ''The Matrix'' instead of ''Wild Wild West''
Actor {{w|Will Smith}} famously turned down the lead role of {{w|Neo (The Matrix)|Neo}} in ''{{w|The Matrix}}'', instead taking the role of Captain James T. West in the widely-panned action-comedy ''{{w|Wild Wild West}}''. The role of Neo ultimately went to {{w|Keanu Reeves}}. For a more detailed discussion of how the cinematic world would have been different had Smith taken the role, see [https://moviepilot.com/posts/2481780 "How Will Smith Turned Down "The Matrix" - And Blew A Chance To Change Hollywood Forever."]

;…swimming pools are carbonated
A simple calculation reveals this as a serious {{w|Greenhouse effect|greenhouse}} problem. In the United States there are not less than 5,000,000 private owned pools. Conservatively assumed a volume of 25,000 liters per pool gives 125 billion liters of carbonated soda. According to Wikipedia the U.S. sales reached around 30 billion bottles of water in 2008 (including non carbonated water) which is surely much less than all the pool water. While all those bottles are not considered to have an impact on the green house effect this scenario is getting even worse. Open a bottle of carbonated water and fill the content into glasses. More or less soon the sprinkling is over, meaning you have to open the next bottle and so on. In a pool at the bottom the pressure is high enough to hold the carbon dioxide but on the surface it behaves like the glass. So, while a glass needs new carbonated water every two hours, or ten times per day, let's say it's three times per day for the pool which leads to one thousand times per year. The total number in this scenario would be 125 trillion liters of carbonated soda, ejecting carbon dioxide, per year. But stop: The carbon dioxide used for artificial carbonated water is taken from the air and because of the pressure at the bottom of the pool it doesn't release all back this should have a positive effect. But as Randall has shown in {{what if|88|Soda Sequestration}} this effect would be minimal.

;…sliced bread, after being banned in January 1943, was never re-legalized.
{{w|Sliced bread}} was in fact {{w|Sliced bread#1943 U.S. ban on sliced bread|banned in the US}} for about two months in early 1943, as a supposed wartime conservation measure. The issue was not the bread itself, but that the pre-sliced loaves required a heavier {{w|wax paper}} wrapping to prevent them from drying out too quickly.

The title text suggests that [[Randall]] has been pitching an absurd "alternate-universe crime drama" to {{w|Netflix}}, apparently based on the premise that a permanent sliced-bread ban would spawn a criminal underground (similar to those created by alcohol and drug prohibitions in actual history). He indicates that a breakdown in communication has occurred between them, though he does not assume directly assume responsibility for this situation. It is nonetheless clear that Netflix has zero interest in the pitch, and so Randall has become overzealous in pushing his idea, to the point that Netflix employees are changing their numbers (presumably they can't block his number because he has resorted to calling from many different phones). He has even taken to infiltrating Netflix's corporate headquarters using ill-gotten security codes, which is definitely illegal{{Citation needed}}, much like [[Elaine]]'s "meetings" with Steve Jobs in [[1337: Part 3]].

However, it is clear that Netflix is uninterested and is attempting to prevent Randall from contacting them (or trespassing into the building).

==Transcript==
:[Inside this single panel comic the header on top reads:]
:In an ''ensemble model'', forecasters run many different versions of a weather model with slightly different initial conditions. This helps account for uncertainty and shows forecasters a spread of possible outcomes.

:[To the left side a picture shows several gray overlapping swirling lines emitted from a point, then gradually diverging rightwards. Below are two smaller pictures; the first shows the lines connected to several loops and in the second it's still a similar figure to the above but moving into the opposite direction with the point emerged to a spiral.]

:[The text right to the pictures reads:]
:'''Members in a typical ensemble:'''
:A universe where…
:…rain is 0.5% more likely in some areas
:…wind speeds are slightly lower
:…pressure levels are randomly tweaked
:…dogs run slightly faster
:…there's one extra cloud in the Bahamas
:…Germany won WWII
:…snakes are wide instead of long
:…Will Smith took the lead in ''The Matrix'' instead of ''Wild Wild West''
:…swimming pools are carbonated
:…sliced bread, after being banned in January 1943, was never re-legalized.

{{comic discussion}}

[[Category:Science]]

1885: Ensemble Model

2017-09-05T11:20:16Z

SteveMB: /* Explanation */

{{comic
| number = 1885
| date = September 4, 2017
| title = Ensemble Model
| image = ensemble_model.png
| titletext = I'm in talks with Netflix to produce an alternate-universe crime drama about the world where sliced bread was never re-legalized, but it's going slowly because they keep changing their phone numbers and the door lock codes at their headquarters.
}}

==Explanation==
{{incomplete|Requires descriptions of each entry. Do NOT delete this tag too soon.}}

An {{w|ensemble forecasting|ensemble model}} is a combination of multiple, similar models to show a wider range of possible outcomes. The graphs on the left are tracks of predictions from multiple models. In this comic, Randall starts out describing actual changes that ensemble models show, but sinks into absurdity, describing strange alternate universes and scenarios that likely would not be necessary in an actual model.

The upper graph looks like one plotting global temperatures with time using different scenarios, like this one: https://www.ipcc.ch/publications_and_data/ar4/wg1/en/figure-spm-5.html
The bottom right graph is a typical hurricane path-prediction graphic.

Not all of the outcomes are serious. They are explained below:
;…rain is 0.5% more likely in some areas
Historical rain data are used to estimate the probability of rainstorms of a certain size and duration occurring, e.g. the {{w|Flood Studies Report|Flood Studies Report}} in the UK. [[Randall]] here is suggesting that an alternate universe exists where these estimates are higher (and presumably lower) in some areas, and that the estimates of rainfall in this alternate universe is accounted for within ensemble modelling in our own universe. This sort of change in prediction is frequently used when accounting for 'worst case scenarios' in the design processes of structures such as dams. However, the figures to the left appear to indicate time-dependent models, which are typically physics based, e.g. {{w|Large eddy simulation|Large Eddy Simulation}} models or other atmospheric process based models. In those sorts of models, likelihood of rain is usually a prediction rather than a parameter, but might be used as a parameter in a second iteration.

;…wind speeds are slightly lower
A usual parameter.

;…pressure levels are randomly tweaked
A very vague but otherwise understandable parameter.

;…dogs run slightly faster
This is where the comic diverges from reality; there is no reason to have the locomotion speed of dogs as a parameter.

;…there is one extra cloud in the Bahamas
This situation is most likely too specific and subtle a difference to be useful to the model.

;…Germany won WWII
"What if Germany won World War II" is a {{w|Hypothetical Axis victory in World War II|very popular}} subject for {{w|alternate history}} stories.

;…snakes are wide instead of long

;…Will Smith took the lead in ''The Matrix'' instead of ''Wild Wild West''
Actor {{w|Will Smith}} famously turned down the lead role of {{w|Neo (The Matrix)|Neo}} in ''{{w|The Matrix}}'', instead taking the role of Captain James T. West in the widely-panned action-comedy ''{{w|Wild Wild West}}''. The role of Neo ultimately went to {{w|Keanu Reeves}}. For a more detailed discussion of how the cinematic world would have been different had Smith taken the role, see [https://moviepilot.com/posts/2481780 "How Will Smith Turned Down "The Matrix" - And Blew A Chance To Change Hollywood Forever."]

;…swimming pools are carbonated
A simple calculation reveals this as a serious {{w|Greenhouse effect|greenhouse}} problem. In the United States there are not less than 5,000,000 private owned pools. Conservatively assumed a volume of 25,000 liters per pool gives 125 billion liters of carbonated soda. According to Wikipedia the U.S. sales reached around 30 billion bottles of water in 2008 (including non carbonated water) which is surely much less than all the pool water. While all those bottles are not considered to have an impact on the green house effect this scenario is getting even worse. Open a bottle of carbonated water and fill the content into glasses. More or less soon the sprinkling is over, meaning you have to open the next bottle and so on. In a pool at the bottom the pressure is high enough to hold the carbon dioxide but on the surface it behaves like the glass. So, while a glass needs new carbonated water every two hours, or ten times per day, let's say it's three times per day for the pool which leads to one thousand times per year. The total number in this scenario would be 125 trillion liters of carbonated soda, ejecting carbon dioxide, per year. But stop: The carbon dioxide used for artificial carbonated water is taken from the air and because of the pressure at the bottom of the pool it doesn't release all back this should have a positive effect. But as Randall has shown in {{what if|88|Soda Sequestration}} this effect would be minimal.

;…sliced bread, after being banned in January 1943, was never re-legalized.
{{w|Sliced bread}} was in fact {{w|Sliced bread#1943 U.S. ban on sliced bread|banned in the US}} for about two months in early 1943, as a supposed wartime conservation measure. The issue was not the bread itself, but that the pre-sliced loaves required a heavier {{w|wax paper}} wrapping to prevent them from drying out too quickly.

The title text suggests that [[Randall]] has been pitching an absurd "alternate-universe crime drama" to {{w|Netflix}}, apparently based on the premise that a permanent sliced-bread banwould spawn a criminal underground (similar to those created by alcohol and drug prohibitions in actual history). He indicates that a breakdown in communication has occurred between them, though he does not assume directly assume responsibility for this situation. It is nonetheless clear that Netflix has zero interest in the pitch, and so Randall has become overzealous in pushing his idea, to the point that Netflix employees are changing their numbers (presumably they can't block his number because he has resorted to calling from many different phones). He has even taken to infiltrating Netflix's corporate headquarters using ill-gotten security codes, which is definitely illegal{{Citation needed}}, much like [[Elaine]]'s "meetings" with Steve Jobs in [[1337: Part 3]].

However, it is clear that Netflix is uninterested and is attempting to prevent Randall from contacting them (or trespassing into the building).

==Transcript==
:[Inside this single panel comic the header on top reads:]
:In an ''ensemble model'', forecasters run many different versions of a weather model with slightly different initial conditions. This helps account for uncertainty and shows forecasters a spread of possible outcomes.

:[To the left side a picture shows several gray overlapping swirling lines emitted from a point, then gradually diverging rightwards. Below are two smaller pictures; the first shows the lines connected to several loops and in the second it's still a similar figure to the above but moving into the opposite direction with the point emerged to a spiral.]

:[The text right to the pictures reads:]
:'''Members in a typical ensemble:'''
:A universe where…
:…rain is 0.5% more likely in some areas
:…wind speeds are slightly lower
:…pressure levels are randomly tweaked
:…dogs run slightly faster
:…there's one extra cloud in the Bahamas
:…Germany won WWII
:…snakes are wide instead of long
:…Will Smith took the lead in ''The Matrix'' instead of ''Wild Wild West''
:…swimming pools are carbonated
:…sliced bread, after being banned in January 1943, was never re-legalized.

{{comic discussion}}

[[Category:Science]]

1820: Security Advice

2017-04-05T16:18:52Z

SteveMB: /* Explanation */

{{comic
| number = 1820
| date = April 5, 2017
| title = Security Advice
| image = security_advice.png
| titletext = Never give your password or bank account number to anyone who doesn't have a blue check mark next to their name.
}}

==Explanation==
{{incomplete|Incomplete. TBD:Complete tip explanations Do NOT delete this tag too soon.}}

The comic depicts a conversation between [[Cueball]] and [[Ponytail]], discussing the fact that giving people security advice has failed to improve their internet security, and in some cases even made things worse (such as requiring complicated passwords leading to people leaving post-it notes with their passwords on their screen, leading to huge security risks). As a result Cueball suggests {{w|reverse psychology|giving bad advice instead}}, in hopes of a positive effect. The last panel contains a list these security tips, which are parodies of actual security tips.

The list header includes an instruction to "print out this list and keep in in your bank safe deposit box", which is a standard recommendation for documents that must be kept secure because they are irreplaceable and/or contain sensitive information. Putting a list of tips in a safe deposit box would be counterproductive, since the purpose of such a list is to serve as a ready reminder.

The issue of passwords and computer security was covered in [http://www.explainxkcd.com/wiki/index.php/936:_Password_Strength 936: Password Strength].

The last tip on the image is most likely a reference to Ingmar Bergman's film [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Seventh_Seal#Synopsis The Seventh Seal].

===Security Tip Explanations===
{| class="wikitable"
!Security Tip
!Explanation
|-
|Don't click links to websites
|The usual tip is "Don't click on ''suspicious'' website links." The comic's variation instead implies don't click on any links to any websites, or don't use the internet.
|-
|Use prime numbers in your password
|Long prime numbers are an essential part of modern cryptography and security systems, but don't have any effect when being used in passwords, except for maybe being harder to remember. In addition, if people were to regularly use prime numbers in their passwords, it would actually make passwords ''easier'' to guess, as it would substantially shrink the search space.
|-
|Change your password manager monthly
|It is often recommended to change passwords on a regular basis. However, changing password managers monthly would be quite impractical.
|-
|Hold your breath while crossing the border
|This in itself wouldn't do anything, but if you hold your breath for too long you could pass out when crossing, or look stressed/suspicious. Overall, this would not help you.
|-
|Install a secure font
|A real tip might be "Install a secure browser" especially when many people used [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Internet_Explorer_6 Internet Explorer 6]. Using a different font on a computer would not help one's internet security.
|-
|Use a 2-factor smoke detector
|A new way to keep accounts secure is 2-factor authentication, which usually means you enter your password, and then look for an email (or go into a mobile app) with a code which you then enter into the website. A 2-factor smoke detector would be useless, because it would require you to verify that there is actually a fire with a code, when the purpose of smoke detectors are to warn you about fires you ''don't'' know about.
|-
|Change your maiden name regularly
|The usual tip is to change your passwords regularly. Some password recovery procedures ask for a security question, like "what is you maiden name" (which is the family name that you were born with). Since it acts as a second password, it should also be changed regularly. Changing it, however, would be very difficult or even impossible, even more so on a regular basis. Also, maiden names and other trivia typically asked by security questions are not secret, so they are inherently not secure.
A real tip for dealing with security questions would be to enter false data.
|-
|Put strange USB drives in a bag of rice overnight
|The usual security tip is "Don't plug strange USB drives into your computer," because sometimes attackers put viruses that infect your system when plugged in. This tip implies that you should "put USB drives in a bag of rice overnight" which is a common technique for drying out water damaged devices, due to rice's absorbent qualities. This would not clean the drive of viruses, and unless the drive was wet (perhaps because you found it outside due to it being called "strange") it would not do anything.
|-
|Use special characters like & and %
|You can use special characters to increase the entropy/strength of your password, though as describe in [http://www.explainxkcd.com/wiki/index.php/936:_Password_Strength xkcd 936], that often leads to passwords that are hard to remember but not particularly strong. The password context is missing here, and in everyday situations the characters & and % are not special.
|-
|Only read content published through Tor.com
|[https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tor_(anonymity_network) Tor] is a software solution to provide anonymity on the web for its users. The website [https://tor.com Tor.com] is the website of fantasy and sci-fi book publisher Tor, which has no relation to the Tor-network.
|-
|Use a burner's phone
|A play on using a burner phone (a cheap/disposable cell phone like those purchased at 7-11, often used for drug deals or other activity one might not want traced), and using the cell phone of a burner, i.e. a person who goes to the the Burning Man festival.
|-
|Get an SSL certificate and store it in a safe place
|SSL/TLS is a protocol for securing connections on the internet. To check if someone is who he claims to be you can check the individuals certificate. Such a certificate has to be public, storing it in a safe place makes the certificate useless. You have to store the private key that matches the certificate in a safe place, else someone could steal the identity.
|-
|If a border guard asks to examine your laptop, you have a legal right to challenge them to a chess game for your soul.
|This tip is likely a reference to Ingmar Bergman's film [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Seventh_Seal#Synopsis The Seventh Seal]
|-
|Never give your password or bank account number to anyone who doesn't have a blue check mark next to their name. (Title Text)
|The usual security tip here is ''"only trust accounts claiming to be legitimate if they have a blue check mark next to their name"'', which means that the account is verified as legitimate. This tip suggests only giving your ''password'' to verified accounts, although you shouldn't give your password to ''any'' account.
|}

==Transcript==
{{incomplete transcript|Do NOT delete this tag too soon.}}

:Ponytail: We've been trying for decades to give people good security advice.
:Ponytail: But in retrospect, lots of the tips actually made things worse.

:Cueball: Maybe we should try to give ''bad'' advice?
:Ponytail: I guess it's worth a shot.

:Security tips
:(Print out this list and keep it in your bank safe deposit box.)
* Don't click links to websites
* Use prime numbers in your password
* Change your password manager monthly
* Hold your breath while crossing the border
* Install a secure font
* User a 2-factor smoke detector
* Change your maiden name regularly
* Put strange USB drives in a bag of rice overnight
* Use special characters like & and %
* Only read content published through Tor.com
* Use a burner's phone
* Get an SSL certificate and store it in a safe place
* If a border guard asks to examine your laptop, you have a legal right to challenge them to a chess game for your soul.

{{comic discussion}}

1809: xkcd Phone 5

2017-03-11T20:55:50Z

SteveMB: /* Table of features */

{{comic
| number = 1809
| date = March 10, 2017
| title = xkcd Phone 5
| image = xkcd_phone_5.png
| titletext = The phone will be collected by the toll operators and mailed back to you within 4-6 weeks.
}}

==Explanation==
{{incomplete|Seems almost complete now!}}
This is the fifth entry in the ongoing [[:Category:xkcd Phones|xkcd Phone series]], and once again, the comic plays with many standard tech buzzwords and horribly misuses all of them, to create a phone that sounds impressive but self-evidently isn't to even the most ignorant customer. The previous comic in the series [[1707: xkcd Phone 4]] was released almost 8 months before this one.

The features is explained individually in the [[#Table of features|table]] below.

The slogan beneath the phone, "We're trying to catch up to Apple but refuse to skip numbers", is a reference to inconsistent product numbering, such as {{w|Samsung}} releasing the {{w|Note 7}} after the {{w|Note 5}}, likely in an attempt to catch up to the numbering of either the {{w|iPhone}} or {{w|Galaxy S}} series, both of which were already at 7. Similarly, there was also no official ''iPhone 2''. But there is an [[xkcd Phone 2]] available. The trademark sign behind the word "numbers" probably indicates a reference to the Apple spreadsheet app with the same name.

The title text that says that the phone will be returned to you by the toll operators is a reference to E-ZPass partnership feature, see explanation in the table regarding that feature.

===Table of features===
{| class="wikitable"
!Feature
!Explanation
|-
|'''Hook shot'''
| In ''{{w|The Legend of Zelda}}'' the [http://zelda.gamepedia.com/Hookshot Hookshot] is a recurring weapon/tool. It is a machine consisting of a chain and hook. When used, the chain extends and sends then hook which is attached to it. It is used to bring items to {{w|Link (The Legend of Zelda)|Link}} or bring Link closer to a goal (''Link'' is the name shared by the main protagonists, each possessing the Spirit of the Hero). Likely a reference to new video game ''{{w|The Legend of Zelda: Breath of the Wild}}'', which was released a week prior to this comic. In the comic the hook shot is shown as a small add on to the phones top.
|-
|'''Bluetooth speaker'''
| {{w|Bluetooth}} speakers are often used to play audio from a smartphone wirelessly, usually with more volume and better quality than the phone's small built-in speaker can provide. Embedding a bluetooth speaker into the phone would allow the phone to play audio from outside sources through its built-in speaker, which could be useful if no better speakers were available but would generally be avoided given the previously noted limitations of phone speakers. This is perhaps a jab at the current trend of playing music or Internet content audibly in public through the tiny, tinny speaker embedded in most phones. The Bluetooth speaker is located in the normal place for a phones speaker.
|-
|'''Stained-glass display'''
| {{w|Stained glass}} is colored glass, traditionally used for decorative windows in buildings most often churches. It is generally much thicker and because of the color much less transparent, especially for some colors, than the glass types normally used for touch-screens, making the phone difficult to use as it would remove some of the colors shown on the screen below the glass. A typical feature noticed about the glass for real phones would be its strength, as in work phones for construction workers.
|-
|'''Gallium chassis remains solid up to 85°F'''
| Many high-end electronic devices have chassis made of alloys of light metals such as {{w|magnesium}} or {{w|titanium}} rather than {{w|steel}} or {{w|plastic}}. Besides being lightweight and of superior quality and durability than ordinary sheet steel or cheap plastic, these are often perceived as bragging points by the users, boasting about 'rare' metal chassis.

{{w|Gallium}}, however, is an uncommon metal with a very low melting point of 85 °F (or 29.8 °C), making it one of only four metals (along with {{w|Mercury (element)|mercury}}, {{w|rubidium}} and {{w|caesium}}) that can be liquid around room temperature. Because the melting point is lower than the average {{w|human body temperature}} of 98.6 °F (37 °C) a gallium smartphone chassis would melt in the user's bare hand, assuming it hadn't already done so due to heat produced by its internal components. Even if the electronics had good heat management, cooling in smartphones is normally accomplished by distributing heat to the case, not exhausting it.

A similar real advertisement regarding the chassis would be that it was {{w|waterproof}} down to some depth (say 85 feet or 25 meters). See also the feature below regarding this.
|-
|'''Soundproof'''
| A {{w|Soundproof}} chassis could result in the unwanted effect that the speakers and microphone may not work as no sound may enter or leave the phones chassis. A more likely feature would be waterproof see above point.
|-
|'''Can feel pain'''
| Possibly a reference to {{w|intelligent personal assistant|intelligent personal assistants}} like {{w|Siri}}, {{w|Cortana (software)|Cortana}} or {{w|Amazon Alexa|Alexa}} gaining consciousness (see [[1807: Listening]] for the latter). Such {{w|artificial intelligence}} references is a [[:Category:Artificial Intelligence|recurring subject]] on xkcd.

This could mean that either the phone feels pain for damages inflicted upon it or it feels the user's pain level (regarding either physical and/or emotional pain). The meaning would quickly become apparent for the user if the chassis melts on contact with exposed skin leaving the phone with "open wounds".

This could be seen as a similar feature of the first xkcd phone, [[1363: xkcd Phone]], where the title text notices (among many other things) that the ''phone will drown'' if submerge in water. A similar thing is also mentioned for [[1549: XKCD Phone 3]]. That phone is ''waterproof but can drown''. Since this phone is soundproof but not waterproof, see the two points above, the drowning issue may still be relevant. The second phone, [[1465: xkcd Phone 2]], ''cries when lost'' a similar display of emotions/feelings. That phone also mentions waterproofing, but here it is only the interior, and although it is washable, it is only a one time feature (like the fold-ability of this one, see two points below). Finally also [[1707: xkcd Phone 4]] mentiones it is waterproof, but not between 30-50 m down...
|-
|'''E-ZPass partnership: Phone can be dropped into coin basket to pay tolls'''
|{{w|E-ZPass}} is an electronic toll collection system. The vehicle drives through the toll lane without stopping, and sensors detect the pass and deduct the appropriate amount from the user's account. The phone's integration with E-ZPass is absurd since the phone needs to be dropped into a coin basket to work. Not only would you have to stop in order to throw the phone into the coin basket, which defies the idea of E-ZPass, but you would also lose your phone.

In the '''title text''', however, it says that the phone will be returned by the toll operators and returned by mail within 4–6 weeks. So this mitigates the problem of losing the phone slightly, but there would be about a month where the phone could not be used.
|-
|'''Foldable (once)'''
|Almost anything long and slim can be "folded" by simply snapping it in half. But as it says this can only be done once because the phone cannot be unsnapped and will not work anymore once it has been folded.

This is a reference to the [http://www.digitaltrends.com/mobile/samsung-foldable-smartphone-news/ rumors of the new Samsung Galaxy X] that is really foldable like a pice of rubber. See [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fro_CNjxYwM this video].

It could also refer to the fact that a version of iPhone had a weak spot that lead it to easily folding and breaking. And it could be reference to the type of cellphones which [https://www.doro.dk/doro-phoneeasy-624.html are designed] so they can be opened and closed by hinges.
|-
|'''Screen transfers images to skin'''
| Transferring images to the skin sounds like either real {{w|tattoos}} or the water tattoos used by children or other kinds of {{w|temporary tattoos}}. Likely it should be understood that it would be possible to transfer the image displayed on the screen to your skin, hopefully when activating the feature rather than by accident. And preferably also none permanent. This may also be a reference to the experimental Cicret Bracelet's ability to project images onto your arm: [http://www.snopes.com/photos/technology/cicret.asp]
|-
|'''Retina storage'''
| This is a play on the name of Apple's prized "{{w|Retina Display}}". The joke may be in reference to Apple's possession of a trademark for the word "retina" in regards to computer equipment, which is made to seem absurd by the unusual use. It is not made clear whose retinas are meant to be stored. Could also be a reference to retinally implanted computers. The retina storage is a slot at the bottom of the phone right of the charging port.
|-
|'''Background task automatically catches and eats Pokémon'''
| A reference to {{w|Pokémon Go}}, an augmented reality game where the goal to go to specific locations and play a mini-game in order to catch virtual creatures called {{w|Pokémon}} (see [[1705: Pokémon Go]]). This phone apparently catches Pokémon automatically, similar to the external device {{w|Pokémon_Go#Pok.C3.A9mon_Go_Plus|Pokémon Go Plus}}. However, this feature also eats them, which is something that is not part of the game and wouldn't be desirable, as it is about collection and storing as many different Pokémon as possible. It could be a coincidence, but it seems funny that the label for this background feature is the only one that point at the back of the phone.
|-
|'''Supercuts partnership: Trims hair fed into charging port'''
| {{w|Supercuts}} is an American hair salon chain that provides hair cuts and styling. The implication here is that the user can get a haircut by Supercuts by sticking hair into the charging slot. This is not only impractical and would only work for hair long enough to be fed into the port, but it would most likely result in a bad haircut. Also the slot would soon be filled with hair. The charging slot is otherwise placed in the normal spot and looks like a regular charging port.

This feature could actually be quite dangerous if the hair is not removed from the charging slot afterwards because the hair could melt or catch fire inside the phone.
|-
|'''Squelch knob'''
|{{w|Squelch}} is a feature of two-way radios (CB, ham, etc) which quiets background noise when no signal is present. For a smartphone, perhaps this knob could control the "signal-to-noise" ratio of your Facebook feed or other social media platforms. It takes the place of the headphone jack, replacing the normal hole with a small knob.
|-
|'''IBM buckling-spring Home button'''
|{{w|IBM}}{{w|Buckling spring|buckling-spring}} keyboards are favorites of geeks for the feeling of quality and auditory feedback (keys click loudly when pressed) they provide. Real smartphone's home button, typically located exactly as in this image, provides little to no such satisfaction when pressed.
|-
|'''Cot-caught merger switch'''
| This is a reference to the {{w|cot–caught merger}}, a linguistic change happening among English speakers, particularly in some parts of North America and the British Isles, which causes caught (previously pronounced "kawt") to be pronounced the same as cot (pronounced "kot"). The switch is clearly visible on the side of the phone. There is no typical feature similar to this one most smartphones, although it could look a bit like a volume control, although that would not usually be a sliding switch.
|-
|'''60x optical zoom camera'''
|A powerful optical {{w|zoom lens}} is usually a desirable feature for cameras. However, as shown in the comic, it results in very bulky lens. If 60x zoom should be achieved the lens needs to be as big as shown on the backside of the phone, and the whole idea of being able to carry the smartphone easily in a pocket would be defied.

For that reason, such lenses are never used in smartphones, although rarely some devices, like the {{w|Samsung Galaxy Camera}}, use a smaller lens with a similar design. But this is no longer a smartphone.

This feature would seem to be a jab at the variety of add-on devices, including close-up lenses, handles and external flashes, that are currently in use to enhance the phone's ability to function like a camera (and the {{w|selfie stick}}).

Some phones might instead mention their {{w|digital zoom}} level instated. But that is not a popular feature among photo enthusiasts, as it makes no difference to the image quality if you zoom like this or just zoon in on a normal picture taken without zoom, as no optical resolution is gained in the process of digital zooming. Randall has made several comics about cameras before; see for instance [[1719: Superzoom]] and other comics linked via this.
|-
|'''LORAN navigation'''
| {{w|LORAN}} (Long Range Navigation) was a precursor to modern {{W|Global Positioning System|GPS}} navigation, using land-based transmitters. Once developed for sea shipping, it is accurate to about 300 meters (1,000 feet). The joke, of course, is that all modern smartphones have integrated GPS navigation which is far more accurate. Due to the much lower frequencies involved, reception of LORAN signals though is much better in areas with obstructed view of the sky. However {{w|LORAN#Commercial_use.2C_decommissioning|LORAN has been decommissioned}} more or less completely since before 2000.

Incidentally, some receivers of the {{w|Decca Navigator System}} (which operates on a similar principle as LORAN) featured moving map displays, something we associate with modern GPS devices.
|-
|'''28-factor authentication'''
| An {{w|Authentication#Factors and identity|authentication factor}} is a way of proving one's identity. There are [http://www.nikacp.com/images/10.1.1.200.3888.pdf 3 generally recognized forms]: something you know, something you have, and something you are. It can be a password, a fingerprint, a physical key, etc.... Secure applications may include two or more factors; a common example is the "PIN and chip" system used with credit cards, where you need both the card and secret code to authorize a transaction. Many online services now provide two-factor authentication to protect against password-based attacks. 28-factor authentication would likely be very secure in theory but also so impractical that it would be unusable.
|}

==Transcript==
:[An image of a smartphone with a common optical camera lens attached on its back is shown. Over the entire length the case is slightly rounded. There are several features visible as bottom like features at the top and bottom of the front as well a microphone like slit at the top. A sliding switch is visible on the side, and at the bottom there is a knob, a connector port and a small slit. Clockwise starting from the top left all the labels read:]
:Hook shot
:Bluetooth speaker
:Stained-glass display
:Gallium chassis remains solid up to 85°F
:Soundproof
:Can feel pain
:E-ZPass partnership: Phone can be dropped into coin basket to pay tolls
:Foldable (once)
:Screen transfers images to skin
:Retina storage
:Background task automatically catches and eats Pokémon
:Supercuts partnership: Trims hair fed into charging port
:Squelch knob
:IBM buckling-spring home button
:Cot-caught merger switch
:60x optical zoom camera
:''LORAN'' navigation
:28-factor authentication

:[Below the phone:]
:Introducing
:<big>The</big> <big><big>xkcd Phone 5</big></big>
:''We're trying to catch up to Apple but refuse to skip numbers®TM''

{{comic discussion}}

[[Category:xkcd Phones]]
[[Category:Pokémon]]