explain xkcd - User contributions [en]

1997: Business Update

2018-05-23T18:05:14Z

Tabletguitar: /* Transcript */

{{comic
| number = 1997
| date = May 23, 2018
| title = Business Update
| image = business_update.png
| titletext = Our customers keep sending us their personal information, even though we've repeatedly asked them to stop. The EU told me I'm the heir to some ancient European throne that makes me exempt from the GDPR, but we should probably still try to fix that.
}}

==Explanation==
{{incomplete|Created by a MAGIC CEO - Please change this comment when editing this page. Do NOT delete this tag too soon.}}
With the May 25 deadline to implement the European Union's GDPR law, this comic focuses on a business meeting about what the company is doing to prepare for it.

==Transcript==
{{incomplete transcript|Do NOT delete this tag too soon.}}

Beret guy: Quarterly reports are looking good. Our office is full of cash, we're producing stocks faster than ever before, and our customers are experiencing rapid growth. Any updates?

Ponytail girl: Bad news: Many of our assets were liquidated this morning due to a thermostate glitch. Good news: The sink in the kitchen as stopped producing original content.

Beret guy: How are our finances?
Megan: Our biggest source of revenue is our ongoing project to transmute lead into gold. Our biggest expense is our project to transmute it back.

Beret guy: Lastly, any luck getting the girl from ''The Ring'' to stop showing up in our video conferences?
Other attendee 1: No, but honestly, she's made some good contributions.
Other attendee 2: Yeah, I think we should hire her.

{{comic discussion}}

1575: Footprints

2015-09-09T06:29:11Z

Tabletguitar: /* Transcript */ completed it

{{comic
| number = 1575
| date = September 9, 2015
| title = Footprints
| image = footprints.png
| titletext = "There's one set of foot-p's cause I was totes carrying you, bro!" said Jesus seconds before I punched him.
}}

==Explanation==

The comic is a satirical graphical representation of the inspirational Christian poem "{{w|Footprints (poem)|Footprints}}," which has been recounted in many versions and is of disputed authorship.

The basic idea of the poem is that the narrator looks back at scenes of his life and sees two sets of footprints, his and those of Jesus. During the most difficult times of his life, the narrator sees only one set of footprints and assumes that Jesus had left him during those times. In the climax of the poem, Jesus responds to the narrator that he saw only one set of footprints during the most difficult times of his life because Jesus was carrying him during those times.

The poem is seen by many as overly sentimental and is thus ripe for parody of this kind. The graph mockingly illustrates various times when Jesus or the narrator left the scene, or otherwise gives various reasons why the number of footprints may have been other than two. The reference at the end to Jesus drowning in a patch of quicksand, and then the narrator simply going home, again subverts the poem's earnestness.

The title text continues the parody by imagining that Jesus delivers the poem's climactic lines in {{w|SMS language|textese}}, a form best suited to shallow communication. The reference to punching Jesus is likely another reference to the poem's perceived excessive sentimentality.

==Transcript==
{{incomplete transcript}}

A graph with time on the x-axis and numbers 1 through 5 on the y axis, labeled "Sets of footprints". A single red line runs through from left to right, showing different values at different times. Until the very end, the line always returns to the value 2, signifying two sets of footprints in the sand.

* The line starts at the value 2, then dips twice to the value 1. The two troughs are labeled, "Jesus carried me".
* The line then dips once again to the value 1. The trough is labeled, "I carried Jesus".
* The line dips for very short periods five times to the value 1. The troughs are labeled, "Jesus disappeared for an evening each time a new <em>Twilight</em> movie came out".
* The line rises to 3 briefly, and is labeled, "Who was that guy?"
* The line rises to 5 sharply, and then falls in a sharp staircase pattern, labeled "Ducklings imprinted on Jesus and followed him around".
* The line rises to 4, labeled "Got lost and followed our own footprints".
* The line dips to 1, labeled "Rode around with Jesus in captured AT-ST"
* The line dips and stays level at 1, labeled "Hit quicksand patch. Jesus didn't make it :("
* The line dips to zero at the end, and is labeled "Went home".

{{comic discussion}}

May be related to:
BTC 1FhCLQK2ZXtCUQDtG98p6fVH7S6mxAsEey
We did not invent the algorithm. The algorithm consistently finds Jesus. The algorithm killed Jeeves.
The algorithm is banned in China. The algorithm is from Jersey. The algorithm constantly finds Jesus.
This is not the algorithm. This is close.

[[Category:Religion]]

1575: Footprints

2015-09-09T06:21:01Z

Tabletguitar: beginning transcript