explain xkcd - User contributions [en]

3180: Apples

2025-12-16T05:38:45Z

Take The A Train To Watertown: I researched the train schedules

{{comic
| number = 3180
| date = December 12, 2025
| title = Apples
| image = apples_2x.png
| imagesize = 263x364px
| noexpand = true
| titletext = The experimental math department's budget is under scrutiny for how much they've been spending on trains leaving Chicago at 9:00pm traveling at 45 mph.
}}

==Explanation==
{{incomplete|This page was created BY A CAR HEADING WEST AT 70MPH. Don't remove this notice too soon.}}

Three "experimental mathematicians" have experimentally confirmed the answer to a mathematical query that might normally {{w|word problem (mathematics education)|be described}} to an elementary school class: "If [[Cueball]] has seven apples and [[Hairbun]] has five, how many apples are there in total?" With everyone having literally brought together their stated number of apples, Cueball counts the two groups of apples and states that the total is twelve. [[Blondie]] is very excited that this real world demonstration has perfect agreement with some theory, presumably arithmetic.

The root of the joke is the conflation of mathematics, an abstract framework (according to {{w|Mathematical Platonism}}), with sciences like physics or chemistry that describe real world phenomena and that require experimental confirmation. In the context of the comic, because most sciences have both theoretical and experimental wings, {{w|computer science|mathematics should as well}}, with a humorous example of what "experimental mathematics" would look like. In this case Cueball and Hairbun are literally "testing" the concept of addition by reenacting a word problem in a mathematics textbook. This physical experiment itself is humorous because there is no mathematical difference between adding groups of apples or groups of {{w|tally marks}} on a piece of paper, but the characters would likely consider the latter to be "theoretical".

A different take on the joke is that mathematics is inherently experimental, but the "experiments" take the form of rigorously proving concepts, including something as basic as addition, {{w|Foundations of mathematics|from first principles}}. From this angle one would find humor in the fact that the three characters are testing math with physical objects instead of referring to the established proofs.

The irony is that some aspects of mathematics ''are'' experimental in the manner depicted in the cartoon. Children are often taught that the angles of a triangle sum to 180° by tearing off the points of a paper triangle and using them to construct a straight line. Some aspects of computer science can also be considered "experimental mathematics", especially at the circuit level where binary logic can be physically used to perform mathematical computation.

There are real-world cases where "basic addition" doesn't give the mathematical result, when combining certain items that aren't uniform. Measured volumes of two different substances, combined to make a solution, usually results in a volume of the end solution that differs from the sum of the original volumes. When measured volumes of nearly-freezing and nearly-boiling water are combined, the resulting liquid, at an intermediate temperature, will almost always be {{w|Properties of water#Density of water and ice|measurably different}} from the sum of the prior values.

The title text confirms the comic's point of experimentally reenacting mathematics textbook word problems by reference to the "Two Trains Problem", a popular type of question to teach students how to solve {{w|System of linear equations|simultaneous linear equations}}, which has previously been alluded to in [[2019: An Apple for a Dollar]]. A [https://mathseasy.quora.com/If-a-train-leaves-station-A-at-9-00-am-and-travels-at-60-miles-per-hour-and-another-train-leaves-station-B-at-10-00-am typical question of this type] asks “If a train leaves station A at 9:00 am and travels at 60 miles per hour, and another train leaves station B at 10:00 am and travels at 80 miles per hour, where will the two trains meet if station A and B are 200 miles apart?” This type of problem is so common that it became a pre-internet meme with many references in popular culture, so Randall has to provide only the setup ("trains leaving Chicago at 9 pm traveling at 45 mph") to be reasonably sure that the reader will know what he's talking about.

Unlike apples, chartering real life trains to leave both Chicago and another city to test that class of word problem would present enormous expense to the experimental mathematics department, as there is no scheduled train departing at exactly 9 PM - the closest that run are a weekend Rock Island train at 8:55 PM, a weekday South Shore Line at 9:03 PM, or possibly a Kensington-branch Metra Electric at 9:00 AM. This expense again implies that the experimental mathematics department is not content with any abstraction, such as using model trains, and must test the word problems as written.

==Transcript==
:[Hairbun and Cueball stand at the left of the panel. Blondie stands at the right. Between them are two piles of apples, one of seven apples (stacked four on the bottom, two in the middle row, and one on top) and the other of five apples (stacked three on the bottom, and two on top).They are all looking at the apples but Blondie has her arms raised high above her head.]
:Cueball: Okay, with my seven apples added to your five, we have ... let's see ... twelve apples!
:Blondie: Incredible!
:Blondie: Perfect agreement with the theory!

:[Caption below the panel:]
:Experimental mathematicians

{{comic discussion}}<noinclude>
[[Category:Comics featuring Hairbun]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Cueball]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Blondie]]
[[Category:Math]]
[[Category:Food]]

1196: Subways

2025-11-22T07:03:47Z

Take The A Train To Watertown: Philadelphia notes

{{comic
| number = 1196
| date = April 8, 2013
| title = Subways
| image = subways.png
| titletext = About one in three North American subway stops are in NYC.
}}
{{TOC}}* The xkcd page links to [https://xkcd.com/1196/large/ a much larger version], which has another text added:
{{Quote|For the pedantic rail enthusiasts, the definition of a subway used here is, with some caveats, "a network containing high capacity grade-separated passenger rail transit lines which run frequently, serve an urban core, and are underground or elevated for at least part of their downtown route." For the rest of you, the definition is "an underground train in a city."}}

==Explanation==
[[File:North American subways.svg.png|right|border|link=http://www.radicalcartography.net/subways.html|North America Subways by Prof. Bill Rankin]]
The comic shows the maps of all North American {{w|subway}} networks. In reality, none of these systems are interconnected, but in the diagram subways from different cities that have the same color on the official subway map have whimsically named connections, such as the "Ohio-California Tunnel" connecting the Green Lines of Cleveland and Los Angeles, or the "Rocky Mountain Tunnel" connecting the Blue Lines of Chicago and San Francisco. Vancouver and San Francisco are connected through a station called Richmond, which appears to double as {{w|Richmond, British Columbia}} and {{w|Richmond, California}}. The "Springfield Monorail" is fictional, from the animated series ''{{w|The Simpsons}}'' (see {{w|Marge vs. the Monorail}}), but its approximate location on this map would suggest the [http://www.seattlemonorail.com/ Seattle Monorail], or perhaps Springfield, Oregon, which [http://www.smithsonianmag.com/arts-culture/Matt-Groening-Reveals-the-Location-of-the-Real-Springfield.html Matt Groening revealed was the inspiration for the Simpsons' hometown].

The [http://www.radicalcartography.net/subways.html Urban Mass Transit Systems of North America] map (right) created by [http://hshm.yale.edu/rankin Yale Professor Bill Rankin] on his website [http://www.radicalcartography.net/ Radical Cartography] in 2006 presents all of the subway systems in North America at the same scale using geographic, instead of topological, layout. The networks on xkcd's map are displayed with absolutely no consideration to geographic position, in order to connect like-colored routes together. While {{w|Vancouver}} is the most North-West, {{w|Mexico City}} being the most South, and San Francisco the most west, distances are not accurate (in reality, Vancouver is closer to Chicago than to Toronto for example) and cities are often arranged in the wrong direction from one another:

* San Francisco is shown directly west of Toronto - in reality west southwest
* Boston is shown directly north of New York City and just slightly to the west - in reality east northeast
* Atlanta is shown west southwest of Miami - it is actually north northwest
* Atlanta is shown northwest of Mexico City - it is actually northeast
* Atlanta is shown slightly east of being south of Los Angeles - it is actually just slightly north of being directly east

The map's design is modeled after the system map of the {{w|Massachusetts Bay Transportation Authority}} in Boston where Randall is from.

===City-specific notes===

===={{w|SkyTrain_(Vancouver)|Vancouver}}====
*The {{w|Canada Line}} and the {{w|Expo Line (TransLink)|Expo Line}} are shown as the same color; SkyTrain's official maps depict them with light blue and dark blue respectively.
*{{w|Richmond, British Columbia|Richmond}}, B.C., is the name of the city where the southernmost terminus of the Canada Line is located, and shares its name with {{w|Richmond, California}} (see San Francisco section).

===={{w|MBTA subway|Boston}}====
*The "Green Line Extension to Canada" references {{w|Green Line Extension|the actual project}} to extend the {{w|Green Line (MBTA)|Green Line}} into Medford, north of Boston, which was completed in 2022.
*The "Ashmont–Manhattan High-Speed Line" shown as connecting Boston's Red Line to New York City's 1 train is a play on the {{w|Ashmont-Mattapan High Speed Line}} in Boston.
*The renamed {{w|Red Line (MBTA)|Red Line}} stops {{w|Quincy Center station|Skinflower}} and {{w|Quincy Adams station|Bonevine}} are plays on the actual name of the Red Line's terminus, {{w|Braintree (MBTA station)|Braintree}}.
*The {{w|Orange Line (MBTA)|Orange Line}} terminates at {{w|Forest Hills station (MBTA)|Forest Hills}} in {{w|Jamaica Plain}}. It is connected to New York's IND Concourse Line, but unfortunately despite its ambiguous appearance on the map this does not actually through-run to the IND Queens Boulevard Line with its {{w|Forest Hills-71st Avenue station|Forest Hills}} and {{w|Jamaica–179th Street station|Jamaica}} stations.

====San Francisco====
*Both {{w|Muni Metro|Muni}} and {{w|Bay Area Rapid Transit|BART}} are depicted in San Francisco's map and are completely separate systems, although the map gives the impression that trains interline between the two. Non-wheelchair-accessible stops on Muni lines are omitted.
*{{w|Richmond, California|Richmond}} is the name of the city where the northern terminus of the {{w|Richmond-Fremont line|Richmond–Fremont}} and the {{w|Richmond-Daly City/Millbrae line|Richmond–Daly City/Millbrae}} BART lines are located, and shares its name with {{w|Richmond, British Columbia|Richmond, British Columbia}} (see Vancouver section).
*"Sunnydale" is the {{w|Sunnydale Station|actual name}} of the terminus of the Muni {{w|T Third Street}} line, not to be confused with {{w|Sunnydale|the city}} where ''Buffy the Vampire Slayer'' is set, nor the very real city of {{w|Sunnyvale, California|Sunnyvale}}, located approximately at the location shown, some 40 miles Southeast of San Francisco.

===={{w|Los Angeles Metro Rail|Los Angeles}}====
*The {{w|Gold Line (Los Angeles Metro)|Gold Line}} and the {{w|Orange Line (Los Angeles Metro)|Orange Line}} are shown with swapped colors.
*The Orange Line is the only {{w|bus rapid transit}} (BRT) line to be shown on the map. LA Metro also operates a second BRT line, the {{w|Silver Line (Los Angeles Metro)|Silver Line}}, which is not shown.

====New York City====
*The {{w|New York City Subway}}, {{w|Port Authority Trans-Hudson}} (PATH), and the single line of the {{w|Staten Island Railway}} (with a connection via the {{w|Staten Island Ferry}}) are shown.
*{{w|Jamaica, Queens|Jamaica}} is the name of the neighborhood in Queens where the E, F, and J/Z trains terminate. Kingston is the capital and largest city in the country of {{w|Jamaica}}.
*The actual {{w|G (New York City Subway service)|G train}} is notorious for unreliable service, hence the "Random Service" notation.
*The "Robert Moses High-Speed Line" refers to the NYC urban planner {{w|Robert Moses}}, who was one of the most influential planners in supporting cars over all public transport, creating the car-dependent {{w|New York metropolitan area}}.

====Philadelphia====
*Both {{w|SEPTA}} subway lines, a portion of the {{w|SEPTA Subway–Surface Trolley Lines}}, and the {{w|PATCO Speedline}} are shown.
*The {{w|Norristown High Speed Line}} and {{w|Media-Sharon Hill Lines}} are not shown
*"Trolley Rt. 10 to California" is a play on the actual {{w|SEPTA Route 10|Route 10}} trolley.
*The {{w|West Trenton Line}}, a commuter rail line, has accidentally ended up in Cleveland for no reason.

===={{w|Washington Metro|Washington, DC}}====
*The "Graveyard for passengers killed by closing doors" refers to the warning played in the Washington DC Metro system advising passengers that the subway doors are "not like elevator doors" and will close on your limbs or belongings rather than opening when contact with an object is detected.
*The "Morgantown, WV Automated Line" references the {{w|Morgantown Personal Rapid Transit}} system, which was built in 1975 as a {{w|personal rapid transit}} demonstrator and serves the three campuses of West Virginia University.
*{{w|Greenbelt (WMATA station)|Greenbelt}} is the northern terminus of the Washington Metro's Green and Yellow lines, hence the Green line being depicted as forming a belt.
*This comic was made before the Silver line was constructed, so it does not appear in the comic.

===={{w|Metrorail (Miami-Dade County)|Miami}}====
*The "Caribbean Metromover" references the {{w|Miami Metromover}}, a people mover in downtown Miami (not shown on the map.)
*The airport logo for Miami International Airport (MIA) is replaced with a paper airplane.

===={{w|Tren Urbano|San Juan}}====
*The "Puerto Rico Submarine" that connects the Red Lines of San Juan and New York refers to the fact that San Juan is on an island, namely {{w|Puerto Rico}}. It is a pun on the Staten Island Ferry, which also has New York at one end, the idea being that there could be a different, comically unlikely sea-faring vessel travelling to Puerto Rico.
*The "Mona Tunnel" that connects the Red Lines of San Juan and Santo Domingo may refer to the island of {{w|Isla de Mona|Mona}}, which lies between Puerto Rico and Hispaniola.

===={{w|Metrorrey|Monterrey}}====
*The "Chicxulub Tunnel" that connects the Red Lines of Santo Domingo and Monterey refers to the 65-million-year-old {{w|Chicxulub crater}}, which lies roughly between the two cities.

===Official subway maps===
*Atlanta - http://www.itsmarta.com/rail-schedules-or-route.aspx
*Baltimore (MTA Maryland) - http://mta.maryland.gov/sites/default/files/metro-subway.jpg
*Boston (MBTA) - http://www.mbta.com/schedules_and_maps/subway/
*Chicago (CTA) - http://www.transitchicago.com/assets/1/maps/P19_2012_CTA_Rail_Map.pdf
*Cleveland - http://www.riderta.com/pdf/maps/System_Map_Rapid_Connect.pdf
*Los Angeles (LACMTA) - http://www.metro.net/riding_metro/maps/images/rail_map.gif
*Mexico City - http://www.metro.df.gob.mx/imagenes/red/redinternet.pdf
*Montreal - http://www.stm.info/english/metro/images/plan-metro.jpg
*New York City (MTA) - http://www.mta.info/maps/submap.html
*New York City (PATH) - http://www.panynj.gov/path/maps.html
*Philadelphia (SEPTA and PATCO) - http://www.septa.org/maps/system/index.html
*San Francisco (BART) - http://www.bart.gov/images/global/system-map.gif
*San Francisco (MUNI) - https://www.sfmta.com/maps/muni-metro-map
*Toronto (TTC) - https://www.tourbytransit.com/toronto/public-transit/subway
*Vancouver - http://mapa-metro.com/mapas/Vancouver/mapa-metro-vancouver.png
*Washington (WMATA) - http://wmata.com/rail/maps/map.cfm

===Missing cities===
Not all cities with a subway are shown on the map. Missing from the map:
*Pittsburgh (Port Authority of Allegheny County) has a light rail subway tunnel, called '''The T''', in the downtown area. The subway {{W|Pittsburgh Light Rail|opened in 1985}}, which is before this comic was published.{{Citation needed}}
*Seattle (Sound Transit) has a light rail called the '''link light rail''' has multiple underground tunnels as well as above ground stop. {{W|Link light rail| Opened in 2003}}, there are 3 seperate lines, serving Lynwood, Seattle, and Seattle–Tacoma International Airport on the 1 line, King County Eastside on the 2 line, and Downtown Tacoma and the Tacoma Dome on the T line.

{{clear}}

==Transcript==
:'''Subways of North America'''
:[A subway-line style (bold colored, 45-degree aligned lines with white bars indicating stations) map has been constructed by combining and linking various parts of the subway maps from many different cities, as if all of the transit systems were connected directly. The cities include (from top to bottom, left to right) Vancouver, Montreal, San Francisco, Toronto, Boston, Chicago, Los Angeles, Cleveland, New York City, Philadelphia, Baltimore, Washington DC, Miami, Atlanta, Monterrey, San Juan, Santo Domingo, and Mexico City.]

==Trivia==
This comic used to be [https://web.archive.org/web/20220125024922/https://store.xkcd.com/products/subways available as a poster] in the xkcd store before it was [[Store|shut down]].

This comic also makes a good map for the Subway Planet in [[2765: Escape Speed]] and the link to xkcd is shown on the planet.
{{comic discussion}}

[[Category:Large drawings]]
[[Category:Comics with color]]
[[Category:Maps]]
[[Category:Comics with xkcd store products]]

3171: Geologic Core Sample

2025-11-22T06:49:51Z

Take The A Train To Watertown: starting a list

{{comic
| number = 3171
| date = November 21, 2025
| title = Geologic Core Sample
| image = geologic_core_sample_2x.png
| imagesize = 493x789px
| noexpand = true
| titletext = If you drill at the right angle and time things perfectly, your core sample can include a section of a rival team's coring equipment.
}}

==Explanation==
{{incomplete|This page was created BY A RIVAL GEOLOGY TEAM. Don't remove this notice too soon.}}

This image presents a core sample taken by a slightly chaotic team of geologists.

A {{w|core sample}} is a cylindrical piece of something's core, in this case the rock of Earth's crust, obtained with special drills in order to see the layers within. In typical xkcd fashion, the core sample depicted here contains a mix of real rocks found in core samples alongside many humorous or fictional additives. In addition it's shown that the coring drills have hit many, many obstacles on the way down they really shouldn't have impacted, culminating in a punchline the geologists have drilled straight through the Earth to the opposite hemisphere, far deeper than any core sample could be taken in reality.

; Topsoil
{{w|Topsoil}} is the uppermost layer of the soil.
; Till
{{w|Till}} is unsorted glacial sediment
; Granite bedrock
{{w|Bedrock}} is solid rock and there is nothing beneath it. {{w|Granite}} is a very common igneous rock.
; Bottomsoil
This is a fictional counterpart of topsoil.
; Roof of subway car
; Floor of subway car
The drill has broken into one of [[1196]]
; More granite
{{w|Granite}} is a very common igneous rock.
; Municipal water main

; Slightly different granite

; Piece of screaming spelunker's arm
{{w|Spelunkers}} explore caves.
; Cool crystals with no resale value

; Mangled fragments of drillbit from previous attempt

; Some boring intrusive rock that's basically granite but has a name like "diorite" or "andalite" that you always have to look up

; Netherrack
A dark red stone appearing in the Nether in {{w|Minecraft}}
; Balrog wing
A creature in {{w|Lord of the Rings}} awakened when the dwarves delved too deep and too greedily
; Granite
; Topsoil
A reversal of the normal layers, as the core sample has gone all the way through the earth
; Cement
; Floorboards
; Carpet
; Possesions of a confused and angry homeowner in the other hemisphere
The core sample has tunneled up into somebody's house.

Contained within it are fairly normal ground matter such as "topsoil" and "granite" but also such things as "bottomsoil", which has no IRL parallel, parts of subway cars, arms of a spelunker most likely amputated by the sample, netherrack (a dark red stone appearing in the Nether in {{w|Minecraft}}), a "balrog" wing (referencing a fictional animal from {{w|Lord of the Rings}} which first made an appearance in xkcd in [[730: Circuit Diagram]]).

After a discontinuity in the diagram, that would cover whatever might appear having driven through the core of the earth, there is a reversal of the more 'standard' layers and then some equally nonstandard layers. These indicate that it has tunneled up into the home of someone else, starting with cement (the foundation), floorboards and carpet, then their posessions.

While still on the side that is heading down, it also mentions other rocks that are "basically granite". As in the idea that many rocks are similar, but are called "{{w|diorite}}" or "andalite". Diorite is a real type of igneous rock, but an Andalite is an alien from the Animorphs book series, which Randall enjoys and has [[:Category:Animorphs|referenced before]]. Perhaps Randall is "misremembering" the name of {{w|andesite}}, another type of igneous rock. This is likely another reference to Minecraft, which has all three rocks available in the overworld.

In reality, only about 15% of the earth's land surface is antipodal to other land, making this sample less than "typical". If one were to start on land and drill all the way through the center of the earth to a point on the other side of the world, one would be much more likely to have the sample terminate in an ocean than on land, much less in someone's house. Though considering that title text mentioned drilling at an angle, that other side might be not at the antipodal point.

The title text humorously refers to a "rival team" and their coring equipment — implying that (with the correct angle) you can meddle with their own coring experiment. This is, outside of cold war-type pettiness, not considered a constructive approach to science.{{Citation needed}}

This comic may be intended as a criticism of standard conceptions of the geologic column, challenging the assumption that geological strata necessarily correlate with time. Just as it is obvious that the possessions of the confused and angry homeowner are not the oldest part of the sample, followed by the carpet, and so on, it is equally fallacious to assume that geological strata in real samples represent periods of time.

==Transcript==
{{incomplete transcript|Don't remove this notice too soon.}}
:[This shows a drill sample with various labels, in order from the top of the panel toward the bottom.]
*Topsoil
*Till
*Granite bedrock
*Bottomsoil
*Roof of subway car
*Floor of subway car
*More granite
*Municipal water main
*Slightly different granite
*Piece of screaming spelunker's arm
*Cool crystals with no resale value
*Mangled fragments of drillbit from previous attempt
*Some boring intrusive rock that's basically granite but has a name like "diorite" or "andalite" that you always have to look up
*Netherrack
*Balrog wing
:[At this point, there is a discontinuity indicating that some layers have been omitted. The sample then resumes:]
*Granite
*Topsoil
*Cement
*Floorboards
*Carpet
*Possesions of a confused and angry homeowner in the other hemisphere

{{comic discussion}}<noinclude>
[[Category:Geology]]
[[Category:Charts]]
[[Category:LOTR]]
[[Category:Animorphs]]
[[Category:Minecraft]]

3119: Flettner Rotor

2025-07-24T13:38:05Z

Take The A Train To Watertown: moved a paragraph upwards

{{comic
| number = 3119
| date = July 23, 2025
| title = Flettner Rotor
| image = flettner_rotor_2x.png
| imagesize = 385x359px
| noexpand = true
| titletext = "And in maritime news, the Coast Guard is on the scene today after an apparent collision between two lighthouses."
}}

==Explanation==
{{incomplete|This page was created by a spinning shaft. Don't remove this notice too soon.}}

This is another one of [[:Category:Tips|Randall’s tips]]. Randall is pointing out that a {{w|Flettner rotor}} can make a boat look like a lighthouse, and thus make the other boats give the right of way, in reference of a [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lighthouse_and_naval_vessel_urban_legend famous urban legend] about a fictional conversation between a ship and a lighthouse both asking the other one to change course to avoid collision.

A vertical-axis Flettner rotor is a smooth cylinder which is spun along its axis. As air passes across it from the side, an aerodynamic force is generated at a right-angle (i.e. forwards) to propel the boat in the desired direction. If a directional light were attached at the top, it too would spin, sending out periodic flashes of light just like a lighthouse. Or, as it appears to be in the comic, a fully working {{w|Lighthouse#Components|lantern house}} may be fixed to the top of the non-rotating core to the rotor, within which its light rotates at a more usual rate independent of that of the vertical rotor.

A vessel directly in the path of the moving boat would have to perhaps consider the possibility that they are drifting towards rocks, but how one ''at anchor'' (and not obviously dragging its moorings) could reconcile the conceptual movement, especially if GPS data gives no reason to believe it, is left unexplained.

The title text describes "an apparent collision between two lighthouses", which could refer to two Flettnerized boats colliding with each other because they were ''both'' assuming that everyone else will give them the right of way.

Alternatively, a single Flettnerized boat complacently collided with an actual lighthouse, having similarly dismissed it as another boat that should have been avoiding itself. Thus, tangentially alluding to the old {{w|Lighthouse and naval vessel urban legend|urban legend}} in which a naval vessel insists that another radio operator at sea diverts course to avoid a collision, demanding right of way by citing their military importance, only to be embarrassed when the other operator reveals they are not another sea vessel, but a lighthouse.

==Transcript==
:[A panel showing Cueball standing on a Flettner Rotor Sailboat, which is decorated with rocks and a lighthouse-top on the Flettner Rotor.]
:[Text beneath panel:]
:Sailing tip: If you have a Flettner Rotor Sailboat, you can add some fake plastic rocks and a light to make other boats give you the right of way.

{{comic discussion}}<noinclude>
[[Category:Tips]]

3092: Baker's Units

2025-05-22T03:51:51Z

Take The A Train To Watertown:

{{comic
| number = 3092
| date = May 21, 2025
| title = Baker's Units
| image = bakers_units_2x.png
| imagesize = 349x310px
| noexpand = true
| titletext = 169 is a baker's gross.
}}

==Explanation==
{{incomplete|This page was created by a baker's bot. Don't remove this notice too soon.}}

A {{w|Dozen#Baker's_dozen|baker's dozen}} is 13 units of bakery goods, as opposed to the normal dozen meaning 12. That tradition began when salesmen in medieval times had to pay penalties (in some regions, draconian ones) when customers were sold one item short, or not enough weight. To avoid the customer complaints and the penalty, bakers added a safety margin that allowed them to still serve a dozen in a hurry: If a miscount happens the baker would have given out twelve rolls just as ordered; if no miscount happens the baker is just short of one inexpensive item).

Randall proceeds to apply this principle to other things comprised of 12 units, some with bizarre results:
* Imperial feet are 12 inches long; a baker's foot would be 13 inches long.
* Noon is 12:00 o'clock ("twelve hundred hours/Juliett" in 24-hour {{w|24-hour clock#Military time|military parlance}}); baker's noon would be 1 o'clock PM ("thirteen hundred hours", etc).
* Dodecahedra have 12 faces ("dodeca" = "twelve"). The best-known kind of {{w|dodecahedron}} is the regular dodecahedron, a {{w|Platonic solid}} whose faces are regular pentagons (the shape that most {{w|Dice#Polyhedral dice|d12}}s take the form of), but there are others such as the {{w|rhombic dodecahedron}} and {{w|Pyritohedron#Pyritohedron|pyritohedron}}. Baker's ones are tridecahedra with triangles, squares and pentagons (which are not Platonic solids and cannot be used as dice due to having multiple face types), rendering dice-based games unbalanced.
* Years have 12 months; a baker would celebrate New Year's Eve on January 31 (meaning that their New Year would shift forward each year).
* Octaves are comprised of 12 half-steps (a half-step is the distance between F and F#). A baker’s octave would have 13 half-steps (corresponding to a minor ninth) and cause problems in musical composition, as octaves (of the baker’s variety) would be dissonant, instead of being consonant. However, Randall's example is actually a ''major'' ninth, with ''fourteen'' half-steps. If he wanted thirteen half-steps, Randall could have used D♭ instead of D or drawn a bass clef instead of a treble clef.
* Trial juries in the Anglo-Saxon law tradition ({{w|Common Law}}) consist of 12 peers. The baker’s jury has 13 peers. This might be considered to make little practical difference, though it does mean that (in situations where a jury is allowed to present a majority verdict instead of requiring unanimity), the odd number of jurors would prevent exact ties. (Note that {{w|Trial by jury in Scotland|Scottish juries}}, in particular, start with the expectation of there being 15 jurors, and may well end up reduced to 13 or even 12.)
* The {{w|Flag of Europe}} has 12 stars forming a circle (as a symbol of harmony); unlike in the US flag, the stars do not represent member states. The flag was first adopted by the Council of Europe in 1955, when it already had 13 members - today there are over 40. The European Communities adopted the Flag of Europe in 1986 before the EC turned into the European Union. A 13th star (or a bread roll) could potentially be added to the baker's EU flag nevertheless without major damage to the symbol. Thirteen stars in a circle is associated with the {{w|Betsy Ross flag}}, the first US flag.
* Magnesium is the element with the ordinal number 12, aluminum is number 13 and a very different material.{{Citation needed}} "Baker's magnesium" actually has more applications in baking (namely, tinfoil, which is actually made of aluminum, not tin).
* In the title text, 144 (12x12) is a gross. 169 (13x13) would be a baker's gross, an addition of not just one but 25 units.

==Transcript==
{{incomplete transcript|Don't remove this notice too soon.}}

{{comic discussion}}<noinclude>
[[Category:Food]]
[[Category:Music]]
[[Category:Chemistry]]
[[Category:Math]]

3092: Baker's Units

2025-05-22T03:24:46Z

Take The A Train To Watertown: Thirteen stars in a circle is an American symbol

{{comic
| number = 3092
| date = May 21, 2025
| title = Baker's Units
| image = bakers_units_2x.png
| imagesize = 349x310px
| noexpand = true
| titletext = 169 is a baker's gross.
}}

==Explanation==
{{incomplete|This page was created by a baker's bot. Don't remove this notice too soon.}}

A {{w|Dozen#Baker's_dozen|baker's dozen}} is 13 units of bakery goods, as opposed to the normal dozen meaning 12. That tradition began when salesmen in medieval times had to pay penalties (in some regions, draconian ones) when customers were sold one item short, or not enough weight. To avoid the customer complaints and the penalty, bakers added a safety margin that allowed them to still serve a dozen in a hurry: If a miscount happens the baker would have given out twelve rolls just as ordered; if no miscount happens the baker is just short of one inexpensive item).

Randall proceeds to apply this principle to other things comprised of 12 units, some with bizarre results:
* Imperial feet are 12 inches long; a baker's foot would be 13 inches long.
* Noon is 12:00 o'clock ("twelve hundred hours/Juliett" in 24-hour {{w|24-hour clock#Military time|military parlance}}); baker's noon would be 1 o'clock PM ("thirteen hundred hours", etc).
* Dodecahedra have 12 faces (the shape that most {{w|Dice#Polyhedral dice|d12}}s take the form of), baker's ones are tridecahedra with triangles, squares and pentagons (which are not Platonic solids and cannot be used as dice due to having multiple face types), rendering dice-based games unbalanced.
* Years have 12 months; a baker would celebrate New Year's Eve on January 31 (meaning that their New Year would shift forward each year).
* Octaves are comprised of 12 half-steps (a half-step is the distance between F and F#). A baker’s octave would have 13 half-steps (corresponding to a minor ninth) and cause problems in musical composition, as octaves (of the baker’s variety) are would be dissonant, instead of being consonant. However, Randall's example is actually a ''major'' ninth, with ''fourteen'' half-steps. If he wanted thirteen half-steps, Randall could have used D♭ instead of D or drawn a bass clef instead of a treble clef.
* Trial juries in the Anglo-Saxon law tradition ({{w|Common Law}}) consist of 12 peers. The baker’s jury has 13 peers. This might be considered to make little practical difference, though it does mean that (in situations where a jury is allowed to present a majority verdict instead of requiring unanimity), the odd number of jurors would prevent exact ties. (Note that {{w|Trial by jury in Scotland|Scottish juries}}, in particular, start with the expectation of there being 15 jurors, and may well end up reduced to 13 or even 12.)
* The {{w|Flag of Europe}} has 12 stars forming a circle (as a symbol of harmony); unlike in the US flag, the stars do not represent member states. The flag was first adopted by the Council of Europe in 1955, when it already had 13 members - today there are over 40. The European Communities adopted the Flag of Europe in 1986 before the EC turned into the European Union. A 13th star (or a bread roll) could potentially be added to the baker's EU flag nevertheless without major damage to the symbol. Thirteen stars in a circle is associated with the {{Betsy Ross flag}}, the first US flag.
* Magnesium is the element with the ordinal number 12, aluminum is number 13 and a very different material.{{Citation needed}} "Baker's magnesium" actually has more applications in baking (namely, tinfoil, which is actually made of aluminum, not tin).
* In the title text, 144 (12x12) is a gross. 169 (13x13) would be a baker's gross, an addition of not just one but 25 units.

==Transcript==
{{incomplete transcript|Don't remove this notice too soon.}}

{{comic discussion}}<noinclude>
[[Category:Food]]
[[Category:Music]]
[[Category:Chemistry]]
[[Category:Math]]

what if? articles

2025-02-12T05:31:46Z

Take The A Train To Watertown:

<noinclude>{{DISPLAYTITLE:''What If?'' chapters}}:''For other instances of this title, see [[What If (disambiguation)]].

</noinclude>==Article index==
<big>'''After more than 3 weeks and a TON of work by [[Talk:What If? chapters|so many people]], the two ''what if?'' tables have finally been merged.'''</big> --[[User:FaviFake|FaviFake]] ([[User talk:FaviFake|talk]]) 18:17, 3 February 2025 (UTC)

* <span style="background-color:#9eff9e;"><span style="color:green; font-size:1.4em;">''' ✓'''</span><big> '''Added: '''</big></span> '''All ~140 book-exclusive articles, each color-coded by book; reader question and Randall's answer for almost all ~70 [[What If? 2]]-exclusive articles; EVERY YouTube video and its associated article; over new 130 thumbnails uploaded; new article from [[What If? 10th Anniversary Edition|the new book]] and the [[what if? (blog)#top|deleted article]].'''

* <span style="background-color:#9eff9e;"><span style="color:green; font-size:1.4em;">''' ✓'''</span><big> '''Changes: '''</big></span> '''Merged columns No., Release date, and Weeks since last release; every column now easily sortable; columns Blog, Book (new), and YouTube (new) now use {{template|blog}} and {{template|book}} and are color-coded; split ''Short-Answer Sections'' into different cells; title bold and question italics and quoted

<span style="background-color:#ffc7c7;"><span style="color:red; font-size:1.4em;">''' '''</span><big> '''Things left to do: '''</big></span>  ''(If you need help editing the table, check out the ''[[What If? chapters#Editors|Editors section]]''! It includes a simple summary of the templates' documentations.)''

*We mostly only need to work on the explanations now! Add them for the articles that don't have one and improve the existing ones (they should be a summary of the answer, not just 1-2 sentences).
*Finish adding the name(s) of the readers who asked each questions. It's easy! The instructions are in the ''[[What If? chapters#Editors|Editors section]]''!
*Need to add all the questions from the first [[What If? (book)|''What If?'' book]] and a summary of each answer!
*Randall has released a new book, "''[[What If? 10th Anniversary Edition|What If? 10th Anniversary Edition]]''". [[What If? 10th Anniversary Edition|'''Add info''']] about the new book and [[:Category:Books|update the old book pages]]!

<div style="display:none;">__TOC__</div>This is an index of all articles featured in Randall Munroe's ''what if?'' [[what if? (blog)|blog]] and [[:Category:Books|book series]]. For each article, the original question and a summary of Randall's answer are provided. If an article is available on the blog, you can click the title to read it in full. You can use the columns to sort the table alphabetically, by release date on the blog or YouTube, or by chapter in the books. The thumbnail is only available for articles published on the blog. If the title of a blog article differs from the one in the book, the latter will be provided in the Book column. A much simpler list that doesn't include book-exclusive articles can be found in the [https://what-if.xkcd.com/archive archive section] of the blog.

{| class="sortable wikitable"
! rowspan="2" scope="col" class="unsortable" | Thumbnail
! rowspan="2" scope="col" data-sort-type=text| Title
! rowspan="2" scope="col" data-sort-type=text| Reader's question
! rowspan="2" scope="col" class="unsortable" | Randall's answer
! colspan="3"| Article available in...  ''(click to sort)''
|-
! scope="col" data-sort-type=number | Blog
! scope="col" data-sort-type=number | Books
! scope="col" data-sort-type=number | YouTube
|-
|[[File:Relativistic Baseball.png|100px]]
|'''{{what if|1|Relativistic Baseball}}'''
|''"What would happen if you tried to hit a baseball pitched at 90% the speed of light?"''
<div align="right">—Ellen McManis</div>
|The ball would create plasma and reach home plate by about 70 nanoseconds. The result would be some kind of nuclear explosion, destroying everything about a mile from the field. A ruling of "{{w|hit by pitch}}" could be interpreted in this situation.
|{{blog|1|2012|07|10}}
|{{book|1|2}}
|{{book|5|2024|02|06|3EI08o-IGYk|What if you threw a baseball at nearly light speed?}}
|-
|[[File:SAT Guessing.png|100px]]
|'''{{what if|2|SAT Guessing}}'''
|''"What if everyone who took the SAT guessed on every multiple-choice question? How many perfect scores would there be?"''
<div align="right">—Rob Balder</div>
|No one would get a perfect score. The odds of guessing correctly on every question would be less than the odds of every ex-living president at that time and the main cast of [[:Category:Firefly|Firefly]] getting struck by lightning on the same day.
|{{blog|2|2012|07|10|7d early}}
|{{book|1|66}}
|
|-
|[[File:Yoda.png|100px]]
|'''{{what if|3|Yoda}}'''
|''"How much Force power can Yoda output?"''
<div align="right">—Ryan Finnie</div>
|Yoda can output about 19.2 kilowatts, or 25 horsepower. "Yoda power" would cost about $2/hour.
|{{blog|3|2012|07|17}}
|{{book|1|32}}
|
|-
|[[File:A Moles of Moles.png|100px]]
|'''{{what if|4|A Mole of Moles}}'''
|''"What would happen if you were to gather a mole (unit of measurement) of moles (the small furry critter) in one place?"''
<div align="right">—Sean Rice</div>
|A {{w|mole (unit)|mole}} is such a high number this would be tricky. They would condense into a pressurized sphere of meat that would freeze and occasionally explode from gases.
|{{blog|4|2012|07|24}}
|{{book|1|10}}
|
|-
|[[File:Robot Apocalypse.png|100px]]
|'''{{what if|5|Robot Apocalypse}}'''
|''"What if there was a robot apocalypse? How long would humanity last?"''
<div align="right">—Rob Lombino</div>
|Humanity would most likely survive. Most robots can easily be subdued because technology hasn’t been developed enough to allow them to walk, evade being destroyed, and kill us efficiently. They could decide to use our nuclear weapons, but that would hurt them more than us.
|{{blog|5|2012|07|31}}
|
|
|-
|[[File:Glass Half Empty.png|100px]]
|'''{{what if|6|Glass Half Empty}}'''
|''"What if a glass of water was, all of a sudden, literally half empty?"''
<div align="right">—Vittorio Iacovella</div>
|If the vacuum were on the bottom half, it would explode, but if it were on the top half, the air rushes in and it becomes normal water.
|{{blog|6|2012|08|07}}
|{{book|1|26}}
|{{book|16|2024|09|24|0EytSWiKrFg|What if a glass of water were LITERALLY half empty?}}
|-
|[[File:Everybody Out.png|100px]]
|'''{{what if|7|Everybody Out}}'''
|''"Is there enough energy to move the entire current human population off-planet?"''
<div align="right">—Adam</div>
|No, at least not without starving to death quickly and leaving our pets, belongings, and everything else behind. The best way to do it is either with a space tether or to ride the shockwave of a nuclear bomb, but the former lacks a good material and the latter is literally ''riding the shockwave of a nuclear bomb''. In any case, highly impractical.
|{{blog|7|2012|08|14}}
|{{book|1|35}}
|
|-
|[[File:Everybody Jump.png|100px]]
|'''{{what if|8|Everybody Jump}}'''
|''"What would happen if everyone on earth stood as close to each other as they could and jumped, everyone landing on the ground at the same instant?"''
<div align="right">—Thomas Bennett (and many others)</div>
|Earth would be unaffected, but almost all humans would probably be wiped out due to everyone trying to get home at the same time.
|{{blog|8|2012|08|21}}
|{{book|1|9}}
|{{book|9|2024|04|16|p2M8Y0z9Rl0|What if everyone jumped at once?}}
|-
|[[File:Soul Mates.png|100px]]
|'''{{what if|9|Soul Mates}}'''
|''"What if everyone actually had only one soul mate, a random person somewhere in the world?"''
<div align="right">—Benjamin Staffin</div>
|Almost nobody would find their soul mate, so most people would probably fake love, due to the difficult nature of finding true love and staying with someone.
|{{blog|9|2012|08|28}}
|{{book|1|6}}
|
|-
|[[File:Cassini.png|100px]]
|'''{{what if|10|Cassini}}'''
|''"What would the world be like if the land masses were spread out the same way as now - only rotated by an angle of 90 degrees?"''
<div align="right">—Socke</div>
|Hard to tell with any sort of certainty, but North America remains the same (just flipped, so Canada is tropical), South America becomes more like Europe before this question, Asia is flipped just like North America was, Europe becomes more like southeast Asia, Africa's climate is essentially rotated 90 degrees and East Africa gets a lot more tornadoes, Australia is colder and wetter, and Antarctica becomes a tropical rainforest. Of course, the biosphere collapses due to the shuffling and the ice caps (prematurely) melt, while also making certain wildlife appear elsewhere than normal.
|{{blog|10|2012|09|04}}
|
|
|-
|[[File:Droppings.png|100px]]
|'''{{what if|11|Droppings}}'''
|''"If you went outside and lay down on your back with your mouth open, how long would you have to wait until a bird pooped in it?"''
<div align="right">—Adrienne Olson</div>
|Assuming you are in an area with a reasonable number of birds, you'd have to wait about 195 years.
|{{blog|11|2012|09|11}}
|
|
|-
|[[File:Raindrop.png|100px]]
|'''{{what if|12|Raindrop}}'''
|''"What if a rainstorm dropped all of its water in a single giant drop?"''
<div align="right">—Michael McNeill</div>
|The surrounding area would be obliterated via the violent rush of crushing water, causing flash flooding in the surrounding area. There would be mass confusion for many following years.
|{{blog|12|2012|09|18}}
|{{book|1|65}}
|
|-
|[[File:Laser Pointer.png|100px]]
|'''{{what if|13|Laser Pointer}}'''
|''"If every person on Earth aimed a laser pointer at the Moon at the same time, would it change color?"''
<div align="right">—Peter Lipowicz</div>
|It would take lots of power, but yes, assuming you want to drain the Earth's oil and cover Asia in megawatt lasers. Going even further in power level fries the Earth and launches the Moon into the solar system.
|{{blog|13|2012|09|25}}
|{{book|1|7}}
|{{book|18|2024|11|05|JqFSGkFPipM|What if everyone pointed a laser at the moon?}}
|-
| rowspan="7" |[[File:Short Answer Section.png|100px]]
| rowspan="7" |'''{{what if|14|Short Answer Section}}'''
|''"How long would the Sun last if a giant water hose were focused upon it?"''
<div align="right">—Austin Dickey</div>
|The Sun would actually burn brighter due to water being mostly hydrogen (main fusion fuel of stars) and eventually become a black hole with all the mass of the water.
| rowspan="7"{{blog|14|2012|10|02}}
| rowspan="7" |
| rowspan="7" |
|-
|''"What if you shined a flashlight (or a laser) into a sphere made of one-way mirror glass?"''
<div align="right">—Chase Montgomery</div>
|One-way glass does not exist. The light shines through just like normal glass.
|-
|''"If Michael Phelps could hold his breath indefinitely, how long would it take for him to reach the lowest point in the ocean and back if he swam straight down and then straight back up?"''
<div align="right">—Jimmy Morey</div>
|Michael Phelps would die somewhere between 100 and 400 meters of depth. If he were immune to pressure, then it would take 3 hours to swim to the bottom of the Marianas Trench and back.
|-
|''"In the first Superman movie, Superman flies around Earth so fast that it begins turning in the opposite direction. This somehow turns back time [... ] How much energy would someone flying around the Earth have to exert in order to reverse the Earth's rotation?"''
<div align="right">—Aidan Blake</div>
|Superman wasn't pushing the Earth. He was flying {{w|Superluminal motion|superluminally}} and was thus travelling back through time.
|-
|''"How fast would you have to go in your car to run a red light claiming that it appeared green to you due to the Doppler Effect?"''
<div align="right">—Yitzi Turniansky</div>
|The {{w|Doppler Effect}} is when waves (such as light or sound) change based on movement or position. You would need to go about one sixth of the {{w|speed of light}}.
|-
|''"What would happen if you opened a portal between Boston (sea level) and Mexico City (elev. 8000+ feet)?"''
<div align="right">—Jake G.</div>
|There would be winds of 440 mph (708 km/h) sucking Boston into Mexico City.
|-
|''"When my wife and I started dating she invited me over for dinner at one time. Her kitchen had something called Bauhaus chairs, which are full of holes, approx 5-6 millimeters in diameter in both back and seat. During this lovely dinner I was forced to liberate a small portion of wind and was relieved that I managed to do so very discretely. Only to find that the chair I sat on converted the successful silence into a perfect, and loud, flute note. We were both (luckily) amazed and surprised and I have often wondered what the odds are for something like that happening. We kept the chairs for five years but despite laborious attempts it couldn't be reproduced."''
<div align="right">—R. D.</div>
|This... isn’t actually a question, but thank you for sharing!
|-
|[[File:Mariana Trench Explosion.png|100px]]
|'''{{what if|15|Mariana Trench Explosion}}'''
|''"What if you exploded a nuclear bomb (say, the Tsar Bomba) at the bottom of the Marianas Trench?"''
<div align="right">—Evin Sellin</div>
|It would warm a small patch of the ocean and not do much. With a bigger bomb, it could destroy the world.
|{{blog|15|2012|10|09}}
|
|
|-
| rowspan="6" |[[File:Today's topic- Lightning.png|100px]]
| rowspan="6" |'''{{what if|16|Today's topic: Lightning}}'''
|''"How dangerous is it to be in a pool during a thunderstorm?"''
<div align="right">—Jay Gengelbach</div>
|Pretty dangerous, as if the pool was hit, 20,000 amps of electricity from the lightning bolt would spread across the surface and shock you. Randall recommends that one should stay at least 12 meters away from a pool during a thunderstorm.
| rowspan="6"{{blog|16|2012|10|16}}
| rowspan="6"{{book|1|19|Lightning}}
| rowspan="6" |
|-
|''"What would happen if you were taking a shower or standing under a waterfall when you were struck by lightning?"''
<div align="right">—Same3Chords</div>
|The droplets of water wouldn’t be dangerous, but a tub of water or any puddle you stand in ''will'' be dangerous.
|-
|''"What would happen if you were in a boat, plane or a submarine that got hit by lightning?"''
<div align="right">—Soobnauce</div>
|A boat would be as safe as a car if it had a cabin and lightning protection, while a submarine would be completely safe. The plane was not mentioned.
|-
|''"What if you were changing the light at the top of a radio tower and lightning struck? Or what if you were doing a backflip? Or standing in a graphite field? Or looking straight up at the bolt?"''
<div align="right">—Danny Wedul</div>
|You would get shocked normally if you were on a radio tower, doing a backflip, or looking straight up. These all don’t matter much. Randall doesn’t know what a graphite field is and chose not to answer that part of the question.
|-
|''"What would happen if lightning struck a bullet in midair?"''
<div align="right">—Timothy Campbell</div>
|The bullet might be heated a little bit, but it’s travelling too fast to have any impact.
|-
|''"What if you were flashing your BIOS during a thunderstorm and you got hit by lightning?"''
<div align="right">—NJSG</div>
|It would bring you to “Microsoft BOB®”, “Gateway 2000 Edition”.
|-
|[[File:Green Cows.png|100px]]
|'''{{what if|17|Green Cows}}'''
|''"If cows could photosynthesize, how much less food would they need?"''
<div align="right">—Anonymous</div>
|They would need 4% less food. There simply isn't enough area on the cow for photosynthesis to provide all its energy requirements. Plus, it’d still need food for nutrients just like real plants.
|{{blog|17|2012|10|23}}
|
|
|-
|[[File:BB Gun.png|100px]]
|'''{{what if|18|BB Gun}}'''
|''"In Armageddon, a NASA guy comments that a plan to shoot a laser at the asteroid is like “shooting a b.b. gun at a freight train.” What would it take to stop an out-of-control freight train using only b.b. guns?"''
<div align="right">—Charles James O’Keefe</div>
|100,000 shooters distributed over 2 kilometers of track, each firing a few dozen rounds as the train comes near them.
|{{blog|18|2012|10|30}}
|
|
|-
|[[File:Tie Vote.png|100px]]
|'''{{what if|19|Tie Vote}}'''
|''"What if there's LITERALLY a tie?"''
<div align="right">—Nate Silver (<span class="plainlinks">[https://twitter.com/fivethirtyeight/status/154434288287363072 '''Twitter, January 4th, 2012''']</span>)</div>
|In the case of each candidate getting the exact same amount of votes on Election Day, most states would randomly pick one, whether it be through tossing a coin, drawing a name or straws. The chances of this happening in 9 battleground states would be about equal to the elector drawing a name from a hat, then being smashed by a bale of cocaine by drug smugglers and obliterated by a meteorite impact while being swept away in a tornado.
|{{blog|19|2012|11|06}}
|
|
|-
|[[File:Diamond.png|100px]]
|'''{{what if|20|Diamond}}'''
|''"If a meteor made out of diamond and 100 feet in diameter was traveling at the speed of light and hit the earth, what would happen to it?"''
<div align="right">—Aidan Smith, Age 8, via his father Jeff</div>
|Nothing made of matter can travel at the speed of light, but at the closest speed observed (99.99999999999999999999951% of the speed of light, the speed of the Oh My God Particle), the Earth would explode with enough force to obliterate the entire solar system.
|{{blog|20|2012|11|13}}
|
|
|-
|[[File:Machine Gun Jetpack.png|100px]]
|'''{{what if|21|Machine Gun Jetpack}}'''
|''"Is it possible to build a jetpack using downward firing machine guns?"''
<div align="right">—Rob B</div>
|You'd need a Russian 30 mm rotary cannon to do it optimally, and the excessive force would definitely hurt you. If you braced the rider, created an aerodynamic craft strong enough to survive the acceleration, and cooled the craft, you'd be able to jump mountains.
|{{blog|21|2012|11|20}}
|{{book|1|14}}
|
|-
|[[File:Cost of Pennies.png|100px]]
|'''{{what if|22|Cost of Pennies}}'''
|''"If you carry a penny in your coin tray, how long would it take for that penny to cost you more than a cent in extra gas?"''
<div align="right">—Leto Atreides</div>
|140,000 miles if gas was the only cost involved. The exercise of picking up the penny can prolong your lifespan, but you've wasted valuable seconds reading this article.
|{{blog|22|2012|11|27}}
|
|
|-
| rowspan="7" |[[File:Short Answer Section II.png|100px]]
| rowspan="7" |'''{{what if|23|Short Answer Section II}}'''
|''"If my printer could literally print out money, would it have that big an effect on the world?"''
<div align="right">—Derek O’Brien</div>
| You'd make 200 million dollars a year, so no.
| rowspan="7"{{blog|23|2012|12|04}}
| rowspan="7"{{book|1|18|Short-Answer Section}}
| rowspan="7" |
|-
|''"What would happen if you exploded a nuclear bomb in the eye of a hurricane? Would the storm cell be immediately vaporized?"''
<div align="right">—Rupert Bainbridge (and hundreds of others)</div>
|No. The National Oceanic and Atmospheric Administration has [https://www.aoml.noaa.gov/hrd-faq/#hurricane-mitigation:~:text=Stop%20a%20Hurricane%3F-,Nuclear%20Weapons,-Adding%20Hygroscopic%20Particles has published a response] explaining why it wouldn't work.
|-
|''"If everyone put little turbine generators on the downspouts of their houses and businesses, how much power would we generate? Would we ever generate enough power to offset the cost of the generators?"''
<div align="right">—Damien</div>
|If it's very rainy, it would generate 800 watts of power, which isn't enough to offset the cost of the generators.
|-
|''"Using only pronounceable letter combinations, how long would names have to be to give each star in the universe a unique one word name?"''
<div align="right">—Seamus Johnson</div>
|About 24 characters.
|-
|''"I bike to class sometimes. It's annoying biking in the wintertime, because it's so cold. How fast would I have to bike for my skin to warm up the way a spacecraft heats up during reentry?"''
<div align="right">—David Nai</div>
|You'd have to bike at 200 m/s, but you'd fry alive from overexerting your body.
|-
|''"How much physical space does the internet take up?"''
<div align="right">—Max L</div>
|Using humanity's total produced storage space from the last few years as an upper bound, and assuming 3.5" drives, the Internet is less than the size of an oil tank.
|-
|''"What if you strapped C4 to a boomerang? Could this be an effective weapon, or would it be as stupid as it sounds?"''
<div align="right">—Chad Macziewski</div>
|Aerodynamics aside, you'd have a bomb that comes back if you miss.
|-
|[[File:Model Rockets.png|100px]]
|'''{{what if|24|Model Rockets}}'''
|''"How many model rocket engines would it take to launch a real rocket into space?"''
<div align="right">—Greg Schock, PA</div>
|It would take about 65,000, but they’d have to be layered in a cone shape with about 30 stages so the vehicle has thrust for long enough. It could carry 60 kg, much of that spent on all the parts of the rocket that aren't the engine.
|{{blog|24|2012|12|11}}
|
|
|-
|[[File:Three Wise Men.png|100px]]
|'''{{what if|25|Three Wise Men}}'''
|''"The story of the three wise men got me wondering: What if you did walk towards a star at a fixed speed? What path would you trace on the Earth? Does it converge to a fixed cycle?"''
<div align="right">—N. Murdoch</div>
|No, but it would make some really cool patterns due to various factors such as the Earth’s rotation and its position changing in its orbit around the Sun.
|{{blog|25|2012|12|18}}
|
|
|-
|[[File:Leap Seconds.png|100px]]
|'''{{what if|26|Leap Seconds}}'''
|''"Every now and then we have to insert a leap second because the Earth’s rotation is slowing down. Could we speed up Earth’s rotation, so that we do not need Leap Seconds?"''
<div align="right">—Anton (Berlin, Germany)</div>
|With 50 000 planets B-612 hitting the Earth each second and a few assumptions, we could stop worrying about leap seconds.
|{{blog|26|2012|12|31|6d late}}
|
|
|-
|[[File:Death Rates.png|100px]]
|'''{{what if|27|Death Rates}}'''
|''"If one randomly chosen extra person were to die each second somewhere on Earth, what impact would it have on the world population?"''
<div align="right">—Guy Petzall</div>
|The world population would continue to grow, though 40% more slowly. Pilots, drivers, and surgeons would die en route and mid-operation, but these would be comparable to usual accident rates and handled fairly easily.
|{{blog|27|2013|01|08|1d late}}
|
|
|-
|[[File:Steak Drop.png|100px]]
|'''{{what if|28|Steak Drop}}'''
|''"From what height would you need to drop a steak for it to be cooked when it hit the ground?"''
<div align="right">—Alex Lahey</div>
|From the very edge of the atmosphere, but even in that case it might not be fully cooked.
|{{blog|28|2013|01|15}}
|{{book|1|23}}
|
|-
|[[File:Spent Fuel Pool.png|100px]]
|'''{{what if|29|Spent Fuel Pool}}'''
|''"What if I took a swim in a typical spent nuclear fuel pool? Would I need to dive to actually experience a fatal amount of radiation? How long could I stay safely at the surface?"''
<div align="right">—Jonathan Bastien-Filiatrault</div>
|As long as you don't touch strange things and you don't swim too close to the fuel rods, it would be just like a regular pool. Except for the fact you would never make it to the pool, as the guards would notice and shoot you to death.
|{{blog|29|2013|01|22}}
|{{book|1|3}}
|{{book|8|2024|04|02|EFRUL7vKdU8|What if you swam in a nuclear storage pool?}}
|-
|[[File:Interplanetary Cessna.png|100px]]
|'''{{what if|30|Interplanetary Cessna}}'''
|''"What would happen if you tried to fly a normal Earth airplane above different Solar System bodies?"''
<div align="right">—Glen Chiacchieri</div>
|It would be difficult to fly on Mars, so you would crash. The gas giants also have this problem, and you would freeze and tumble. Titan and Venus are the best bets, but Titan is cold and Venus is full of sulfuric acid.
|{{blog|30|2013|01|29}}
|{{book|1|30}}
|
|-
|[[File:FedEx Bandwidth.png|100px]]
|'''{{what if|31|FedEx Bandwidth}}'''
|''"When - if ever - will the bandwidth of the Internet surpass that of FedEx?"''
<div align="right">—Johan Öbrink</div>
|Probably never, unless the Internet's transfer rate grows faster than storage rates, the Internet won't surpass an army of FedEx trucks. However, the ping times would be ''absurd''.
|{{blog|31|2013|02|05}}
|{{book|1|44}}
|
|-
|[[File:Hubble.png|100px]]
|'''{{what if|32|Hubble}}'''
|''"If the Hubble telescope were aimed at the Earth, how detailed would the images be?"''
<div align="right">—Kyle Rankin</div>
|Very blurry because Hubble isn't able to rotate fast enough to track it on the surface of the Earth. Hubble is the wrong tool for the job, you're thinking of a spy satellite.
|{{blog|32|2013|02|12}}
|
|{{book|1|2023|11|29|2LSyizrk8-0|What if we aimed the Hubble Telescope at Earth?}}
|-
|[[File:Ships.png|100px]]
|'''{{what if|33|Ships}}'''
|''"How much would the sea level fall if every ship were removed all at once from the Earth's waters?"''
<div align="right">—Michael Toje</div>
|Less than a human hair's width.
|{{blog|33|2013|02|19}}
|
|
|-
|[[File:what if? Twitter.png|100px]]
|'''{{what if|34|Twitter}}'''
|''"How many unique English tweets are possible? How long would it take for the population of the world to read them all out loud?"''
<div align="right">—Eric H., Hopatcong, NJ</div>
|Since there are 2 * 10^46 meaningful English tweets, reading them all would take 10,000 "eternal years", with an eternal day being the length of time needed to wear down a mountain if a bird scraped 1 grain every thousand years.
|{{blog|34|2013|02|26}}
|{{book|1|50}}
|
|-
|[[File:Hair Dryer.png|100px]]
|'''{{what if|35|Hair Dryer}}'''
|''"What would happen if a hair dryer with continuous power was turned on and put in an airtight 1x1x1 meter box?"''
<div align="right">—Nathan Terrell</div>
|The box would heat until the ground starts melting, and going further, it would eventually create updrafts and bounce around everywhere. Turning it off and on again would launch it out of the sky in glowing fury.
|{{blog|35|2013|03|05}}
|{{book|1|11}}
|
|-
|[[File:Cornstarch.png|100px]]
|'''{{what if|36|Cornstarch}}'''
|''"How much cornstarch can I rinse down the drain before unpleasant things start to happen?"''
<div align="right">—Anna R., Fort Wayne, IN</div>
|It depends what you consider unpleasant. Your sink will clog and your house will flood with oobleck, but if you really really like cornstarch then nothing unpleasant will happen.
|{{blog|36|2013|03|12}}
|
|
|-
|[[File:Supersonic Stereo.png|100px]]
|'''{{what if|37|Supersonic Stereo}}'''
|''"What if you somehow managed to make a stereo travel at twice the speed of sound, would it sound backwards to someone who was just casually sitting somewhere as it flies by?"''
<div align="right">—Tim Currie</div>
|Assuming the stereo is indestructible, yes. Although you’d only get it supersonic for less than a second, and the music would be heavily compressed after the sonic boom.
|{{blog|37|2013|03|19}}
|
|
|-
|[[File:what if? Voyager.png|100px]]
|'''{{what if|38|Voyager}}'''
|''"With today's technology, would it be possible to launch an unmanned mission to retrieve Voyager I?"''
<div align="right">—Elliot Bennett</div>
|We could possibly spend a ton of money and resources to get a probe to Voyager. Getting it back is another story.
|{{blog|38|2013|03|26}}
|
|
|-
|[[File:Hockey Puck.png|100px]]
|'''{{what if|39|Hockey Puck}}'''
|''"How hard would a puck have to be shot to be able to knock the goalie himself backwards into the net?"''
<div align="right">—Tom</div>
|It doesn’t really work like that: at high enough speeds to knock the goalie back they’d both just splatter.
|{{blog|39|2013|04|02}}
|{{book|1|24}}
|
|-
|[[File:Pressure Cooker.png|100px]]
|'''{{what if|40|Pressure Cooker}}'''
|''"Am I right to be afraid of pressure cookers? What's the worst thing that can happen if you misuse a pressure cooker in an ordinary kitchen?"''
<div align="right">—Delphine Lourtau</div>
|Ordinarily, the worst that can happen is the lid blowing off and superheated liquid spraying everywhere, but you can use one to make {{w|Dioxygen difluoride}}, which is much worse.
|{{blog|40|2013|04|9}}
|
|
|-
|[[File:Go West.png|100px]]
|'''{{what if|41|Go West}}'''
|''"If everybody in the US drove west, could we temporarily halt continental drift?"''
<div align="right">—Derek</div>
|Not even by a bit, because the North American plate is just too heavy for people to make an impact in its movement.
|{{blog|41|2013|04|16}}
|
|
|-
|[[File:Longest Sunset.png|100px]]
|'''{{what if|42|Longest Sunset}}'''
|''"What is the longest possible sunset you can experience while driving, assuming we are obeying the speed limit and driving on paved roads?"''
<div align="right">—Michael Berg</div>
|95 minutes on certain Norewgian and Finnish highways. (A similar concept has been explored in comic [[162: Angular Momentum]].)
|{{blog|42|201304|23}}
|{{book|1|52}}
|
|-
|[[File:Train Loop.png|100px]]
|'''{{what if|43|Train Loop}}'''
|''"Could a high-speed train run through a vertical loop, like a rollercoaster, with the passengers staying comfortable?"''
<div align="right">—Gero Walter</div>
|No, not even if we change the requirements to just the passengers staying alive.
|{{blog|43|2013|04|30}}
|
|
|-
|[[File:High Throw.png|100px]]
|'''{{what if|44|High Throw}}'''
|''"How high can a human throw something?"''
<div align="right">—Irish Dave on the Isle of Man</div>
|Aroldis Chapman could throw a golf ball to a height of sixteen giraffes.
|{{blog|44|2013|05|07}}
|{{book|1|38}}
|
|-
|[[File:ISS Music Video.png|100px]]
|'''{{what if|45|ISS Music Video}}'''
|''"Is [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KaOC9danxNo '''this'''] the most expensive music video ever?"''
<div align="right">—Various Youtube commenters</div>
|No. If the construction cost of the setpiece is how this is measured, then it would be U2's "Last Night on Earth" on a section of Interstate Highway. If not, then it doesn't even come close to Thriller.
|{{blog|45|2013|05|14}}
|
|
|-
|[[File:Bowling Ball.png|100px]]
|'''{{what if|46|Bowling Ball}}'''
|''"I've been told that if the Earth were shrunk down to the size of a bowling ball, it would be smoother than said bowling ball. My question is, what would a bowling ball look like if it were blown up to the size of the Earth?"''
<div align="right">—Seth C.</div>
|The finger holes would collapse and then not much would happen.
|{{blog|46|2013|05|21}}
|
|
|-
|[[File:Alien Astronomers.png|100px]]
|'''{{what if|47|Alien Astronomers}}'''
|''"Let's assume there's life on the the nearest habitable exoplanet and that they have technology comparable to ours. If they looked at our star right now, what would they see?"''
<div align="right">—Chuck H.</div>
|They would see pretty much nothing with regular telescopes. The detection could be possible with radio technology.
|{{blog|47|2013|05|28}}
|{{book|1|28}}
|
|-
|[[File:Sunset on the British Empire.png|100px]]
|'''{{what if|48|Sunset on the British Empire}}'''
|''"When (if ever) did the Sun finally set on the British Empire?"''
<div align="right">—Kurt Amundson</div>
|If the British Empire kept the borders it had when the question was written, it would continue to experience eternal sunshine for many thousands of years until a total eclipse hits the Pitcairn Islands at the right time. However, after the publication of this article, it has been announced that [https://www.mondayeconomist.com/p/british-empire#:~:text=On%20March%2021st%2C%202025%2C%20a,part%20of%20the%20British%20Empire the British Indian Ocean Territory will become part of Mauritus] in March 2025, allowing the Sun to finally set on the British Empire.
|{{blog|48|2013|06|04}}
|{{book|1|60}}
|
|-
|[[File:Sunless Earth.png|100px]]
|'''{{what if|49|Sunless Earth}}'''
|''"What would happen to the Earth if the Sun suddenly switched off?"''
<div align="right">—Many, many readers</div>
|We would see a variety of benefits across our lives such as the elimination of time zones, more reliable satellites, easier astronomy, and safer wild parsnip, but the downside is we would all freeze and die.
|{{blog|49|2013|06|11}}
|{{book|1|57}}
|
|-
|[[File:Extreme Boating.png|100px]]
|'''{{what if|50|Extreme Boating}}'''
|''"What would it be like to navigate a rowboat through a lake of mercury? What about bromine? Liquid gallium? Liquid tungsten? Liquid nitrogen? Liquid helium?"''
<div align="right">—Nicholas Aron</div>
|It would be difficult to row the boat on mercury because it's very dense. Bromine smells terrible and is highly toxic. Gallium would dissolve an aluminium boat. Liquid tungsten would incinerate you instantly. Liquid nitrogen would kill you either by suffocation or hypothermia. Liquid helium's superfluid properties would sink your boat, but at least you'd hear the Third Sound as you die.
|{{blog|50|2013|06|18}}
|
|
|-
|[[File:Free Fall.png|100px]]
|'''{{what if|51|Free Fall}}'''
|''"What place on Earth would allow you to freefall the longest by jumping off it? What about using a squirrel suit?"''
<div align="right">—Dhash Shrivathsa</div>
|It takes 26 seconds to fall from the top of {{w|Mount Thor}} into a pit of cotton candy at the bottom of the cliff. The record for the longest wingsuit glide is enough time for Joey Chestnut and Takeru Kobayashi to eat 45 hot dogs.
|{{blog|51|2013|06|25}}
|{{book|1|45}}
|
|-
|[[File:Bouncy Balls.png|100px]]
|'''{{what if|52|Bouncy Balls}}'''
|''"What if one were to drop 3,000 bouncy balls from a seven story parking structure onto a person walking on the sidewalk below? Should the person survive, what would be the number of bouncy balls needed to kill them? What injuries would occur and what would the associated crimes be?"''
<div align="right">—Ginger Bread</div>
|Around 3,000,000 balls. Death would occur and you would be charged with manslaughter or murder.
|{{blog|52|2013|07|02}}
|
|
|-
|[[File:Drain the Oceans.png|100px]]
|'''{{what if|53|Drain the Oceans}}'''
|''"How quickly would the ocean's drain if a circular portal 10 meters in radius leading into space was created at the bottom of Challenger Deep, the deepest spot in the ocean? How would the Earth change as the water is being drained?"''
<div align="right">—Ted M.</div>
|Hundreds of thousands of years, so you'll need a bigger portal. As their basins are cut off, many shallow seas and a few deep trenches remain, leaving much of Earth still covered with water. Massive, unpredictable environmental changes would probably wipe out mankind. If they didn't, the Dutch would take over the world, no longer preoccupied with preventing their lands from flooding as they are now.
|{{blog|53|2013|07|09}}
|{{book|1|48}}
|{{book|12|2024|06|18|Jpy55EgMQgY|What if you drained the oceans?}}
|-
|[[File:Drain the Oceans Part II.png|100px]]
|'''{{what if|54|Drain the Oceans: Part II}}'''
|''"Supposing you did '''{{what if|53|Drain the Oceans}}''', and dumped the water on top of the Curiosity rover, how would Mars change as the water accumulated?"''
<div align="right">—Iain</div>
|The water would fill the {{w|Valles Marineris}}, eventually leaving only {{w|Olympus Mons}} and some other small islands. The sea would ultimately freeze over, become covered in dust, and migrate to permafrost at the poles. In the meantime, the Netherlands would colonize Mars through the portal.
|{{blog|54|2013|07|16}}
|{{book|1|49}}
|{{book|14|2024|08|13|FkUNHhVbQ1Q|What if we teleported the oceans to Mars?}}
|-
|[[File:Random Sneeze Call.png|100px]]
|'''{{what if|55|Random Sneeze Call}}'''
|''"If you call a random phone number and say "God bless you", what are the chances that the person who answers just sneezed? On average, not just in spring or fall."''
<div align="right">—Mimi</div>
|The chances are 1 in 40000, but you might want to be careful, as there's also a 1 in a billion chance that the person you called just murdered someone.
|{{blog|55|2013|07|23}}
|{{book|1|53}}
|
|-
|[[File:Restraining an Airplane.png|100px]]
|'''{{what if|56|Restraining an Airplane}}'''
|''"If you wanted to anchor an airplane into the ground so it wouldn't be able to take off, what would the rope have to be made out of?"''
<div align="right">—Connor Childerhose</div>
|A steel cable an inch thick, the lines of an army of fishermen, or the hair of 20 people. Hair has the highest tensile strength of any material in your body.
|{{blog|56|2013|07|30}}
|
|
|-
|[[File:Dropping a Mountain.png|100px]]
|'''{{what if|57|Dropping a Mountain}}'''
|''"What if a huge mountain—Denali, say—had the bottom inch of its base disappear? What would happen from the impact of the mountain falling 1 inch? What about 1 foot? What if the mountain's base were raised to the present height of the summit, and then the whole thing were allowed to drop to the earth?"''
<div align="right">—John-Clark Levin</div>
|An inch or a foot wouldn't do much, it would only feel like a 3.5 magnitude earthquake. Dropped from its own height, Denali would cause a magnitude 7 earthquake and crush coal to diamonds. Dropped from space, that's just a large asteroid and it would cause an impact winter.
|{{blog|57|2013|08|06}}
|
|
|-
| rowspan="3" |[[File:Orbital Speed.png|100px]]
| rowspan="3" |'''{{what if|58|Orbital Speed}}'''
|''"What if a spacecraft slowed down on re-entry to just a few miles per hour using rocket boosters like the Mars-sky-crane? Would it negate the need for a heat shield?"''
<div align="right">—Brian</div>
| rowspan="3" |No, because you need to go 8 km/s to stay in orbit, and it would take impossible amounts of fuel to slow down.
| rowspan="3"{{blog|58|2013|08|12|1d early}}
| rowspan="3"{{book|1|43}}
| rowspan="3" |
|-
|''"Is it possible for a spacecraft to control its reentry in such a way that it avoids the atmospheric compression and thus would not require the expensive (and relatively fragile) heat shield on the outside?"''
<div align="right">—Christopher Mallow</div>
|-
|''"Could a (small) rocket (with payload) be lifted to a high point in the atmosphere where it would only need a small rocket to get to escape velocity?"''
<div align="right">—Kenny Van de Maele</div>
|-
|[[File:Updating a Printed Wikipedia.png|100px]]
|'''{{what if|59|Updating a Printed Wikipedia}}'''
|''"If you had a printed version of the whole of (say, the English) Wikipedia, how many printers would you need in order to keep up with the changes made to the live version?"''
<div align="right">—Susanne Könings</div>
|You'd need six printers, but if using an ink printer, costs would rack up to $500,000 a month, dwarfing paper and maintenance costs. You'd need to file away past versions in case they were reverted (restored), which would be a nightmare.
|{{blog|59|2013|08|20|1d late}}
|{{book|1|58}}
|{{book|13|2024|7|9|RgBYohJ7mIk|What if you tried to print Wikipedia?}}
|-
|[[File:Signs of Life.png|100px]]
|'''{{what if|60|Signs of Life}}'''
|''"If you could teleport to a random place of the surface of the Earth, what are the odds that you'll see signs of intelligent life?"''
<div align="right">—Borislav Stanimirov</div>
|70% of the time you would end up in the ocean, while most of the rest will be somewhere uninhabited. But if it’s night, you can see satellites just by looking up.
|{{blog|60|2013|08|27}}
|
|
|-
|[[File:Speed Bump.png|100px]]
|'''{{what if|61|Speed Bump}}'''
|''"How fast can you hit a speed bump while driving and live?"''
<div align="right">—Myrlin Barber</div>
|At highway speeds, you could wreck your tires and suspension. Around 150-300 mph, the aerodynamics of a typical sedan will cause it to flip and crash before even reaching the speed bump. At 90% the speed of light, you could face a billion-dollar speeding ticket.
|{{blog|61|2013|09|03}}
|{{book|1|41}}
|
|-
|[[File:Falling With Helium.png|100px]]
|'''{{what if|62|Falling With Helium}}'''
|''"What if I jumped out of an airplane with a couple of tanks of helium and one huge, un-inflated balloon? Then, while falling, I release the helium and fill the balloon. How long of a fall would I need in order for the balloon to slow me enough that I could land safely?"''
<div align="right">—Colin Rowe</div>
|About 16,000 feet. You would use about ten tanks, or 2500 ft<sup>3</sup>, of helium. A larger balloon could just be used as a parachute, no helium needed.
|{{blog|62|2013|09|10}}
|{{book|1|34}}
|
|-
|[[File:Google's Datacenters on Punch Cards.png|100px]]
|'''{{what if|63|Google's Datacenters on Punch Cards}}'''
|''"If all digital data were stored on punch cards, how big would Google's data warehouse be?"''
<div align="right">—James Zetlin</div>
|A 4.5 km thick layer of punch cards would bury the Earth, or triple the height ice sheets reached during the last ice age.
|{{blog|63|2013|09|17}}
|
|
|-
|[[File:Rising Steadily.png|100px]]
|'''{{what if|64|Rising Steadily}}'''
|''"If you suddenly began rising steadily at one foot per second, how exactly would you die? Would you freeze or suffocate first? Or something else?"''
<div align="right">—Rebecca B</div>
|A nudist would survive for five hours, then succumb to the cold. With a good coat, one would survive for seven, even plausibly eight, until reaching the low-oxygen {{w|death zone}} and suffocating. However, your corpse would outlast the Earth as it was swallowed by the Sun.
|{{blog|64|2013|09|24}}
|{{book|1|15}}
|
|-
|[[File:Twitter Timeline Height.png|100px]]
|'''{{what if|65|Twitter Timeline Height}}'''
|''"If our Twitter timelines (tweets by the people we follow) actually extended off the screen in both directions, how tall would they be?"''
<div align="right">—Anonymous</div>
|As of October 2013, the bottom of the timeline would be eight million kilometers tall, and a prediction that Twitter activity might start to die down in about five years. After the publication of this article, Twitter activity started declining in late 2022 after it was purchased by Elon Musk.
|{{blog|65|2013|10|01}}
|
|
|-
|[[File:500 MPH.png|100px]]
|'''{{what if|66|500 MPH}}'''
|''"If winds reached 500 mph, would it pick up a human?"''
<div align="right">—Grey Flynn, age 7, Stoneham, MA</div>
|500 mph winds would send you flying through the air. But don't worry about that. Instead, worry about is the thing that created the 500 mph winds. Odds are, that's what's going to kill you.
|{{blog|66|2013|10|08}}
|
|
|-
|[[File:Expanding Earth.png|100px]]
|'''{{what if|67|Expanding Earth}}'''
|''"How long would it take for people to notice their weight gain if the mean radius of the world expanded by 1cm every second? (Assuming the average composition of rock were maintained.)"''
<div align="right">—Dennis O’Donnell</div>
|After a month, the gain would be measurable but within the normal variation of gravity. After a year, it would be more prominent at 5%. Humans could survive with difficulty for a decade, but even in specially-built environments, they would succumb within a century as air itself became toxic from atmospheric pressure. After a few centuries, the Moon would fall into the Roche limit and crumble into rings.
|{{blog|67|2013|10|15}}
|{{book|1|55}}
|{{book|17|2024|10|15|-1-ldW4kpLM|What if Earth grew 1cm every second?}}
|-
|[[File:Little Planet.png|100px]]
|'''{{what if|68|Little Planet}}'''
|''"If an asteroid was very small but supermassive, could you really live on it like the Little Prince?"''
<div align="right">—Samantha Harper</div>
|Yes, but gravity would vary wildly in different parts of your body, and if you were sprinting, you could accidentally tumble into a nauseous, swinging orbit or even outer space.
|{{blog|68|2013|10|22}}
|{{book|1|22}}
|
|-
|[[File:Facebook of the Dead.png|100px]]
|'''{{what if|69|Facebook of the Dead}}'''
|''"When, if ever, will Facebook contain more profiles of dead people than of living ones?"''
<div align="right">—Emily Dunham</div>
|If Facebook petered out in the 2010s, the dead would surpass the living around 2065, but if it continued for generations, it would take until the mid-2100s.
|{{blog|69|2013|10|29}}
|{{book|1|59}}
|
|-
|[[File:The Constant Groundskeeper.png|100px]]
|'''{{what if|70|The Constant Groundskeeper}}'''
|''"How big of a lawn would you have to have so that when you finished mowing you'd need to start over because the grass has grown?"''
<div align="right">—Nick Nelson</div>
|With a normal mower ten hours a day, about a quarter of a square kilometer. The world's fastest lawnmower at top speed 24/7 could mow an adult male cougar's home range.
|{{blog|70|2013|11|05}}
|
|
|-
|[[File:Stirring Tea.png|100px]]
|'''{{what if|71|Stirring Tea}}'''
|''"I was absentmindedly stirring a cup of hot tea, when I got to thinking, "aren't I actually adding kinetic energy into this cup?" I know that stirring does help to cool down the tea, but what if I were to stir it faster? Would I be able to boil a cup of water by stirring?"''
<div align="right">—Will Evans</div>
|No, stirring the tea too fast would just make it splash everywhere.
|{{blog|71|2013|11|12}}
|{{book|1|61}}
|
|-
|[[File:Loneliest Human.png|100px]]
|'''{{what if|72|Loneliest Human}}'''
|''"What is the furthest one human being has ever been from every other living person? Were they lonely?"''
<div align="right">—Bryan J. McCarter</div>
|The most well-document candidates are six Apollo astronauts who ventured behind the dark side of the Moon. Antarctic explorers and pre-colonialism Polynesian explorers have a shot, but there's no good evidence of specific people who beat the Apollo record. Astronauts Mike Collins and Al Worden said they were not at all lonely, the latter even enjoying his soltitude.
|{{blog|72|2013|11|19}}
|{{book|1|63}}
|
|-
|[[File:Lethal Neutrinos.png|100px]]
|'''{{what if|73|Lethal Neutrinos}}'''
|''"How close would you have to be to a supernova to get a lethal dose of neutrino radiation?"''
<div align="right">—(Overheard in a physics department)</div>
|About 2.3 AU, or a little farther than Mars is from the Sun, which is inside the star that created the supernova.
|{{blog|73|2013|11|26}}
|{{book|1|39}}
|
|-
|[[File:Soda Planet.png|100px]]
|'''{{what if|74|Soda Planet}}'''
|''"How much of the Earth's currently-existing water has ever been turned into a soft drink at some point in its history?"''
<div align="right">—Brian Roelofs</div>
|0.0000005%. Additionally, most water molecules you drink have never been drunk by another human in history, but almost all have been drunk by a dinosaur.
|{{blog|74|2013|12|03}}
|
|
|-
|[[File:Phone Keypad.png|100px]]
|'''{{what if|75|Phone Keypad}}'''
|''"I use one of those old phones where you type with numbers—for example, to type "Y", you press 9 three times. Some words have consecutive letters on the same number. When they do, you have to pause between letters, making those words annoying to type. What English word has the most consecutive letters on the same key?"''
<div align="right">—Stewart Bishop</div>
|"Nonmonogamous".
|{{blog|75|2013|12|10}}
|
|
|-
|[[File:Reading Every Book.png|100px]]
|'''{{what if|76|Reading Every Book}}'''
|''"At what point in human history were there too many (English) books to be able to read them all in one lifetime?"''
<div align="right">—Gregory Willmot</div>
|{{notice|Too short}}Depends, as many were burned.
|{{blog|76|2013|12|17}}
|{{book|2|10}}
|
|-
|[[File:Growth Rate.png|100px]]
|'''{{what if|77|Growth Rate}}'''
|''"What height would humans reach if we kept growing through our whole development period (i.e. till late teens/early twenties) at the same pace as we do during our first month?"''
<div align="right">—Maria</div>
|10 to 12 meters.
|{{blog|77|2013|12|31|7d late}}
|
|
|-
|[[File:T-rex Calories.png|100px]]
|'''{{what if|78|T-rex Calories}}'''
|''"If a T-rex were released in New York City, how many humans/day would it need to consume to get its needed calorie intake?"''
<div align="right">—Tony Schmitz</div>
|One large-sized one or two small-sized ones per day.
|{{blog|78|2014|01|07}}
|{{book|2|7}}
|
|-
|[[File:Lake Tea.png|100px]]
|'''{{what if|79|Lake Tea}}'''
|''"What if we were to dump all the tea in the world into the Great Lakes? How strong, compared to a regular cup of tea, would the lake tea be?"''
<div align="right">—Alex Burman</div>
|1/100,000 as strong as a proper cup of tea. However, New Zealanders could make themselves tea in Frying Pan Lake.
|{{blog|79|2014|01|14}}
|
|
|-
|[[File:Pile of Viruses.png|100px]]
|'''{{what if|80|Pile of Viruses}}'''
|''"What if every virus in the world were collected into one area? How much volume would they take up and what would they look like?"''
<div align="right">—Dave</div>
|
|{{blog|80|2014|01|21}}
|
|
|-
|[[File:Catch!.png|100px]]
|'''{{what if|81|Catch!}}'''
|''"Is there any way to fire a gun so that the bullet flies through the air and can then be safely caught by hand? e.g. shooter is at sea level and catcher is up a mountain at the extreme range of the gun."''
<div align="right">—Ed Hui, London</div>
|
|{{blog|81|2014|01|28}}
|{{book|2|12}}
|
|-
|[[File:Hitting a comet.png|100px]]
|'''{{what if|82|Hitting a comet}}'''
|''"Astrophysicists are always saying things like "This mission to this comet is equivalent to throwing a baseball from New York and hitting a particular window in San Francisco." Are they really equivalent?"''
<div align="right">—Tom Foster</div>
|{{notice|Too short}}The baseball is much harder.
|{{blog|82|2014|02|05|1d late}}
|
|
|-
|[[File:Star Sand.png|100px]]
|'''{{what if|83|Star Sand}}'''
|''"If you made a beach using grains the proportionate size of the stars in the Milky Way, what would that beach look like?"''
<div align="right">—Jeff Wartes</div>
|{{notice|Too short}}It would be a bunch of boulders with some patches of sand.
|{{blog|83|2014|02|11|1d early}}
|{{book|2|16}}
|
|-
|[[File:Paint the Earth.png|100px]]
|'''{{what if|84|Paint the Earth}}'''
|''"Has humanity produced enough paint to cover the entire land area of the Earth?"''
<div align="right">—Josh (Bolton, MA)</div>
|No, only about as much as the land area of Russia.
|{{blog|84|2014|02|18}}
|{{book|2|14}}
|
|-
|[[File:Rocket Golf.png|100px]]
|'''{{what if|85|Rocket Golf}}'''
|''"Assuming that you have a spaceship in orbit around the Earth, could you propel your ship to speeds exceeding escape velocity by hitting golf balls in the other direction? If so, how many golf balls would be required to reach the Moon?"''
<div align="right">—Dan (Kanata, Ontario)</div>
|{{notice|"If you cheat"?}}If you cheat, a bag a little smaller than the Moon.
|{{blog|85|2014|02|25}}
|
|
|-
|[[File:Far-Traveling Objects.png|100px]]
|'''{{what if|86|Far-Traveling Objects}}'''
|''"In terms of human-made objects, has Voyager 1 travelled the farthest distance? It's certainly the farthest from Earth we know about. But what about the edge of ultracentrifuges, or generator turbines that have been running for years, for example?"''
<div align="right">—Matt Russell</div>
|{{notice|How much? Explain}}The Mariner 1 has traveled much farther than Voyager 1.
|{{blog|86|2014|03|04}}
|
|
|-
|[[File:Enforced by Radar.png|100px]]
|'''{{what if|87|Enforced by Radar}}'''
|''"I've occasionally seen "radar enforced" on speed limit signs, and I can't help but ask: How intense would radio waves have to be to stop a car from going over the speed limit, and what would happen if this were attempted?"''
<div align="right">—Joausc</div>
|Intense enough to cause a medium sized nuclear explosion. Better to just carry a sign.
|{{blog|87|2014|03|11}}
|
|
|-
|[[File:Soda Sequestration.png|100px]]
|'''{{what if|88|Soda Sequestration}}'''
|''"How much CO2 is contained in the world's stock of bottled fizzy drinks? How much soda would be needed to bring atmospheric CO2 back to preindustrial levels?"''
<div align="right">—Brandon Seah</div>
|Enough soda to cover Earth with ten layers of cans.
|{{blog|88|2014|03|18}}
|
|
|-
|[[File:Tungsten Countertop.png|100px]]
|'''{{what if|89|Tungsten Countertop}}'''
|''"How far would a tungsten countertop descend if I dropped it into the Sun?"''
<div align="right">—Michael Leuchtenburg</div>
|{{notice|Too short}}It would be vapourized before it got close to the Sun.
|{{blog|89|2014|03|25}}
|
|
|-
|[[File:Great Tree, Great Axe.png|100px]]
|'''{{what if|90|Great Tree, Great Axe}}'''
|''"If all the seas were one sea,''
''What a great sea that would be!''
''If all the trees were one tree,''
''What a great tree that would be!''
''If all the men were one man,''
''What a great man that would be!''
''If all the axes were one axe,''
''What a great axe that would be!''
''And if the great man took the great axe,''
''And cut down the great tree,''
''And let if fall into the great sea,''
''What a great splish-splash that would be!''

''... How great would all of these things be?"''
<div align="right">—John Eifert (quoting a ''Mother Goose'' rhyme)</div>
|
|{{blog|90|2014|04|03|2d late}}
|
|
|-
|[[File:Faucet Power.png|100px]]
|'''{{what if|91|Faucet Power}}'''
|''"I just moved into a new apartment. It includes hot water but I have to pay the electric bill. So being a person on a budget ... what's the best way to use my free faucet to generate electricity?"''
<div align="right">—David Axel Kurtz</div>
|
|{{blog|91|2014|04|08|2d early}}
|
|
|-
|[[File:One-Second Day.png|100px]]
|'''{{what if|92|One-Second Day}}'''
|''"What would happen if the Earth's rotation were sped up until a day only lasted one second?"''
<div align="right">—Dylan</div>
|Everything on Earth would die, but if it happened when the Moon crosses the plane of the Earth, then everything in the Solar System will die (whether there is a difference is debatable).
|{{blog|92|2014|04|15}}
|{{book|2|21}}
|
|-
|[[File:Windshield Raindrops.png|100px]]
|'''{{what if|93|Windshield Raindrops}}'''
|''"At what speed would you have to drive for rain to shatter your windshield?"''
<div align="right">—Daniel Butler</div>
|Fast enough so you would need a speedometer in scientific notation.
|{{blog|93|2014|04|22}}
|
|
|-
|[[File:Billion-Story Building.png|100px]]
|'''{{what if|94|Billion-Story Building}}'''
|''"My daughter — age 4.5 — maintains she wants a billion-story building. It turns out not only is that hard to help her appreciate this size, I am not at all able to explain all of the other difficulties you'd have to overcome."''
<div align="right">—Keira, via Steve Brodovicz, Media, PA </div>
|First of all, it would not stand under its own weight. Also, it would be many times the distance the Earth is from the Moon.
|{{blog|94|2014|04|29}}
|{{book|2|22}}
|
|-
|[[File:Pyramid Energy.png|100px]]
|'''{{what if|95|Pyramid Energy}}'''
|''"What took more energy, the building of the Great Pyramid of Giza or the Apollo Mission? If we could convert the energy to build the Great Pyramid, would it be enough to send a rocket to the Moon and back?"''
<div align="right">—Michael Marmol</div>
|
|{{blog|95|2014|05|06}}
|
|
|-
|[[File:$2 Undecillion Lawsuit.png|100px]]
|'''{{what if|96|$2 Undecillion Lawsuit}}'''
|''"What if Au Bon Pain lost '''[http://www.loweringthebar.net/2014/05/2-undecillion-dollar-demand.html this lawsuit]''' and had to pay the plaintiff $2 undecillion?"''
<div align="right">—Kevin Underhill</div>
|They would not be able to pay off the debt, even if they forced humanity to work as slaves from now until the stars die.
|{{blog|96|2014|05|14|1d late}}
|{{book|2|23}}
|
|-
|[[File:Burning Pollen.png|100px]]
|'''{{what if|97|Burning Pollen}}'''
|''"What if you were to somehow ignite the pollen that floats around in the air in spring? Other than being a really bad idea, what effect would it have?"''
<div align="right">—Jessica Thornburg</div>
|It would just warm up the air by a very tiny bit, but only because it's so thinly spread. Gathering all of it from a large enough region into one pile could equal a nuclear weapon.
|{{blog|97|2014|05|20|1d early}}
|
|
|-
|[[File:Blood Alcohol.png|100px]]
|'''{{what if|98|Blood Alcohol}}'''
|''"Could you get drunk from drinking a drunk person's blood?"''
<div align="right">—Fiona Byrne</div>
|
|{{blog|98|2014|05|27}}
|{{book|2|42}}
|
|-
|[[File:Starlings.png|100px]]
|'''{{what if|99|Starlings}}'''
|''"I was watching '''[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eakKfY5aHmY this video]''' and was wondering: How many birds there would need to be for gravity to take over and force them into a gargantuan ball of birds?"''
<div align="right">—Justin Basinger</div>
|{{notice|Too short}}Enough to make a black hole.
|{{blog|99|2014|06|03}}
|
|
|-
|[[File:WWII Films.png|100px]]
|'''{{what if|100|WWII Films}}'''
|''"Did WWII last longer than the total length of movies about WWII? For that matter, which war has the highest movie time:war time ratio?"''
<div align="right">—Becky</div>
|
|{{blog|100|2014|06|11|1d late}}
|
|
|-
|[[File:Plastic Dinosaurs.png|100px]]
|'''{{what if|101|Plastic Dinosaurs}}'''
|''"As plastic is made from oil and oil is made from dead dinosaurs, how much actual real dinosaur is there in a plastic dinosaur?"''
<div align="right">—Steve Lydford</div>
|
|{{blog|101|2014|06|18}}
|{{book|2|26}}
|
|-
|[[File:Keyboard Power.png|100px]]
|'''{{what if|102|Keyboard Power}}'''
|''"As a writer, I'm wondering what would be the cumulative energy of the hundreds of thousands of keystrokes required to write a novel."''
<div align="right">—Nicholas Dickner</div>
|{{notice|Too short}}Less than enough energy to microwave a burrito.
|{{blog|102|2014|06|25}}
|
|
|-
|[[File:Vanishing Water.png|100px]]
|'''{{what if|103|Vanishing Water}}'''
|''"What would happen if all the bodies of water on Earth magically disappeared?"''
<div align="right">—Joanna Xu</div>
|
|{{blog|103|2014|07|02}}
|
|
|-
|[[File:Global Snow.png|100px]]
|'''{{what if|104|Global Snow}}'''
|''"From my seven-year-old son: How many snowflakes would it take to cover the entire world in six feet of snow? (I don't know why six feet...but that's what he asked.)"''
<div align="right">—Jed Scott</div>
|
|{{blog|104|2014|07|09}}
|{{book|2|59}}
|
|-
|[[File:Cannibalism.png|100px]]
|'''{{what if|105|Cannibalism}}'''
|''"How long could the human race survive on only cannibalism?"''
<div align="right">—Quinn Shaffer</div>
|Depends, if you’re the only one trying out this new diet, maybe a week before you get caught. If the entire world brooms in, about 32 months.
|{{blog|105|2014|07|16}}
|
|
|-
|[[File:Ink Molecules.png|100px]]
|'''{{what if|106|Ink Molecules}}'''
|''"Suppose you were to print, in 12 point text, the numeral 1 using a common cheap ink-jet printer. How many molecules of the ink would be used? At what numerical value would the number printed approximately equal the number of ink molecules used?"''
<div align="right">—David Pelkey</div>
|100,000,000,000,000,000.
|{{blog|106|2014|07|23}}
|
|
|-
|[[File:Letter to Mom.png|100px]]
|'''{{what if|107|Letter to Mom}}'''
|''"What’s the fastest way to get a hand-written letter from my place in Chicago to my mother in New Jersey?"''
<div align="right">—Tim</div>
|
|{{blog|107|2014|07|30}}
|
|
|-
|[[File:Expensive Shoebox.png|100px]]
|'''{{what if|108|Expensive Shoebox}}'''
|''"What would be the most expensive way to fill a size 11 shoebox (e.g. with 64 GB MicroSD cards all full of legally purchased music)?"''
<div align="right">—Rick Lewis</div>
|{{notice|A little too vague.}}There are many options (precious materials, hard drugs, physical file storage, etc.), but they all cap out at ~$2,000,000,000.
|{{blog|108|2014|08|13|7d late}}
|{{book|2|31}}
|
|-
|[[File:Into the Blue.png|100px]]
|'''{{what if|109|Into the Blue}}'''
|''"If I shot an infinitely strong laser beam into the sky at a random point, how much damage would it do?"''
<div align="right">—Garrett D.</div>
|Most of the time it would not hit anything.
|{{blog|109|2014|08|20}}
|
|
|-
|[[File:Walking New York.png|100px]]
|'''{{what if|110|Walking New York}}'''
|''"Could a person walk the entire city of NY in their lifetime? (including inside apartments)"''
<div align="right">—Asif Shamir</div>
|{{notice|Too short}}Yes, in around 30 years, but you'd end up in prison.
|{{blog|110|2014|08|27}}
|
|
|-
|[[File:All the Money.png|100px]]
|'''{{what if|111|All the Money}}'''
|''"People sometimes say "If I had all the money in the world ..." in order to discuss what they would do if they had no financial constraints. I'm curious, though, what would happen if one person had all of the world's money?"''
<div align="right">—Daniel Pino</div>
|The only thing to do would be to make a swimming pool, as it is unlikely anybody else would agree with your claims to all the money and property.
|{{blog|111|2014|09|02|1d early}}
|
|
|-
|[[File:Balloon Car.png|100px]]
|'''{{what if|112|Balloon Car}}'''
|''"My 12-year-old daughter is proposing an interesting project. She is planning to attach a number of helium balloons to a chair, which in turn would be tethered by means of a rope to a Ferrari. Her 13-year-old friend would then drive the Ferrari around, while she sits in the chair enjoying uninterrupted views of the countryside. Leaving aside the legal and insurance difficulties, my daughter is keen to know the maximum speed that she could expect to attain, and how many helium balloons would be required."''
<div align="right">—Phil Rodgers, Cambridge, UK</div>
|A balloon just big enough to lift you would be pushed down by the wind, and a balloon big enough to counteract that would lift up the car along with you. The way to achieve this result is [https://www.youtube.com/results?search_query=parasailing parasailing].
|{{blog|112|2014|09|17|8d late}}
|
|
|-
|[[File:Visit Every State.png|100px]]
|'''{{what if|113|Visit Every State}}'''
|''"How fast could you visit all 50 states?"''
As discussed by Stephen von Worley on [http://www.datapointed.net/2012/08/fastest-route-to-visit-all-fifty-united-states/ ''Data Pointed'']
|In just over 6 hours, in 5 satellite orbits.
|{{blog|113|2014|09|24}}
|
|
|-
|[[File:Antimatter.png|100px]]
|'''{{what if|114|Antimatter}}'''
|''"What if everything was antimatter, EXCEPT Earth?"''
<div align="right">—Sean Gallagher</div>
|{{notice|Too short}}Our existence would end, but much slower than in most other situations, from outer-space gas and meteorites.
|{{blog|114|2014|10|01}}
|
|
|-
|[[File:Into the Sun.png|100px]]
|'''{{what if|115|Into the Sun}}'''
|''"When I was about 8 years old, shoveling snow on a freezing day in Colorado, I wished that I could be instantly transported to the surface of the Sun, just for a nanosecond, then instantly transported back. I figured this would be long enough to warm me up but not long enough to harm me. What would actually happen?"''
<div align="right">—AJ, Kansas City</div>
|You would not be warmed if you went to the surface. The core, on the other hand, would vaporize you.
|{{blog|115|2014|10|08}}
|{{book|2|61}}
|{{book|15|2024|09|03|UXA-Af-JeCE|Could you survive a nanosecond on the Sun?}}
|-
|[[File:No-Rules NASCAR.png|100px]]
|'''{{what if|116|No-Rules NASCAR}}'''
|''"If you stripped away all the rules of car racing and had a contest which was simply to get a human being around a track 200 times as fast as possible, what strategy would win? Let's say the racer has to survive."''
<div align="right">—Hunter Freyer</div>
|If the rider has to survive, 90 minutes is the limit based on human G-force tolerances. If survival is not a priority, you'd build a particle accelerator.
|{{blog|116|2014|10|15}}
|{{book|2|35}}
|{{book|3|2023|12|19|JcXpCyPc2Xw|What if NASCAR had no rules?}}
|-
|[[File:Distant Death.png|100px]]
|'''{{what if|117|Distant Death}}'''
|''"What is the farthest from Earth that any Earth thing has died?"''
<div align="right">—Amy from NZ</div>
|The farthest that any human has died is about 167 kilometers. In terms of any living thing, however, bacterial spores on Voyager 1 are dying every few months, setting a new record each time.
|{{blog|117|2014|10|23|1d late}}
|
|
|-
|[[File:Physical Salary.png|100px]]
|'''{{what if|118|Physical Salary}}'''
|''"What if people's incomes appeared around them as cash in real time? How much would you need to make to be in real trouble?"''
<div align="right">—Julia Anderson, Albuquerque, NM</div>
|{{notice|This is obvious. Explain both scenarios.}}A normal person would not get buried. A CEO, on the other hand, would be in trouble.
|{{blog|118|2014|10|30}}
|
|
|-
|[[File:Laser Umbrella.png|100px]]
|'''{{what if|119|Laser Umbrella}}'''
|''"Stopping rain from falling on something with an umbrella or a tent is boring. What if you tried to stop rain with a laser that targeted and vaporized each incoming droplet before it could come within ten feet of the ground?"''
<div align="right">—Zach Wheeler</div>
|It would be very complicated, not worth it, and would probably make everything around you catch fire.
|{{blog|119|2014|11|13|7d late}}
|{{book|2|37}}
|{{book|6|2024|02|20|zgBTwtg7H8E|Could you make an umbrella out of lasers?}}
|-
|[[File:Alternate Universe What Ifs.png|100px]]
|'''{{what if|120|Alternate Universe What Ifs}}'''
|''"Dispatches from a horrifying alternate universe"''
|
|{{blog|120|2014|11|20}}
|
|
|-
|[[File:Frozen Rivers.png|100px]]
|'''{{what if|121|Frozen Rivers}}'''
|''"What would happen if all of the rivers in the US were instantly frozen in the middle of the summer?"''
<div align="right">—Zoe Cutler</div>
|Anywhere with rain or snowmelt would be horrifically flooded, and ice would break, then dam up rivers, forming huge lakes. Humanity would be worse for the wear, but all in all fine.
|{{blog|121|2014|12|11}} 14d late)
|
|
|-
|[[File:Lava Lamp.png|100px]]
|'''{{what if|122|Lava Lamp}}'''
|''"What if I made a lava lamp out of real lava? What could I use as a clear medium? How close could I stand to watch it?"''
<div align="right">—Kathy Johnstone, 6th Grade Teacher (via a student)</div>
|The container would glow opaque from the heat, making it impossible to see the lava, which would solidify after a minute.
|{{blog|122|2014|12|18}}
|{{book|2|40}}
|
|-
|[[File:Fairy Demographics.png|100px]]
|'''{{what if|123|Fairy Demographics}}'''
|''"How many fairies would fly around, if each fairy is born from the first laugh of a child and fairies were immortal?"''
<div align="right">—Mira Kühn, Germany</div>
|They would have the same birth rate as humans, and they would become a major part of the ecosystem.
|{{blog|123|2015|01|01|7d late}}
|
|
|-
|[[File:Lunar Swimming.png|100px]]
|'''{{what if|124|Lunar Swimming}}'''
|''"What if there was a lake on the Moon? What would it be like to swim in it? Presuming that it is sheltered in a regular atmosphere, in some giant dome or something."''
<div align="right">—Kim Holder</div>
|It would be super-cool, given that lower gravity would increase the size of splashes and the height of jumps.
|{{blog|124|2015|01|08}}
|
|{{book|20|2024|12|24|aIIBBj6KR-Y|What if we put a pool on the moon?}}
|-
|[[File:Bowling Ball 2.png|100px]]
|'''{{what if|125|Bowling Ball}}'''
|''"You are in a boat directly over the Mariana Trench. If you drop a 7kg bowling ball over the side, how long would it take to hit the bottom?"''
<div align="right">—Doug Carter</div>
|Two hours and 20 minutes.
|{{blog|125|2015|01|15}}
|
|
|-
|[[File:Stairs (What If?).png|100px]]
|'''{{what if|126|Stairs}}'''
|''"If you made an elevator that would go to space (like the one you mentioned in the '''{{what if|94|billion-story building}}''') and built a staircase up (assuming regulated air pressure) about how long would it take to climb to the top?"''
<div align="right">—Ethan Annas</div>
|A week or two for a professional stair-climber. Half a day by motorcycle.
|{{blog|126|2015|01|22}}
|
|
|-
|[[File:Tug of War.png|100px]]
|'''{{what if|127|Tug of War}}'''
|''"Would it be possible for two teams in a tug-o-war to overcome the ultimate tensile strength of an iron rod and pull it apart? How big would the teams have to be?"''
<div align="right">—Markus Andersen</div>
|
|{{blog|127|2015|01|28|1d early}}
|
|
|-
|[[File:Zippo Phone.png|100px]]
|'''{{what if|128|Zippo Phone}}'''
|''"What in my pocket actually contains more energy, my Zippo or my smartphone? What would be the best way of getting the energy from one to the other? And since I am already feeling like Bilbo in this one, is there anything else in my pocket that would have unexpected amounts of stored energy?"''
<div align="right">—Ian Cummings</div>
|The Zippo has more energy than your phone battery, but your hand would have even more, when burned as fuel.
|{{blog|128|2015|02|05|1d late}}
|
|
|-
|[[File:Black Hole Moon.png|100px]]
|'''{{what if|129|Black Hole Moon}}'''
|''"What would happen if the Moon were replaced with an equivalently-massed black hole? If it's possible, what would a lunar ("holar"?) eclipse look like?"''
<div align="right">—Matt</div>
|It would not have a big impact unless it happened during the space age.
|{{blog|129|2015|02|12}}
|
|
|-
|[[File:Snow Removal.png|100px]]
|'''{{what if|130|Snow Removal}}'''
|''"I've long thought about putting a flamethrower on the front of a car to melt snow and ice before you drive across it. Now I've realized that a flamethrower is impractical, but what about a high-powered microwave emitter?"''
<div align="right">—Matt Van Opens</div>
|The flamethrower is more practical because microwaves don't heat ice very well. The microwave beam would require the power output of three aircraft carriers, and the flamethrower would have a gas mileage of 17 feet per gallon.
|{{blog|130|2015|02|19}}
|
|
|-
|[[File:Microwaves.png|100px]]
|'''{{what if|131|Microwaves}}'''
|''"I have had a particular problem for as long as I can remember. Any time I attempt to heat left over Chinese food in a microwave, it fails to heat completely through somewhere. Usually the center but not always and usually rice, but often it will be a small section of meat. It's baffling and has made me automatically adjust heating times to over 2 minutes. In most cases this tends to heat the bowl or plate more than the food. So I suppose the question is what is the optimal time to heat left over Chinese food in the microwave, how about an 800 watt microwave?"''
<div align="right">—James</div>
|Use a lower power level, stir your food partway through microwaving, and let it sit for a few minutes before you eat it.
|{{blog|131|2015|02|27|1d late}}
|
|
|-
|[[File:Hotter than Average.png|100px]]
|'''{{what if|132|Hotter than Average}}'''
|''"I saw a sign at a hot springs tub saying "Caution: Water is hotter than average" with water at about 39°C. Although they were presumably trying to say "hotter than the average swimming pool," this got me wondering: What is the average temperature of all water on the Earth’s surface, and how does that temperature compare to 39°C?"''
<div align="right">—Graham Ward</div>
|{{notice|Explain, what's a water average?}}There is a water average. Give the signmakers some credit.
|{{blog|132|2015|03|07|1d late}}
|
|
|-
|[[File:Flagpole.png|100px]]
|'''{{what if|133|Flagpole}}'''
|''"So, you're falling from a height above the tallest building in your town, and you don't have a parachute. But wait! Partway down the side of that skyscraper there's a flagpole sticking out, sans flag! You angle your descent and grab the pole just long enough to swing around so that when you let go you're now heading back up toward the sky. As gravity slows you and brings you to a halt, you reach the top of the skyscraper, where you reach out and pull yourself to safety. What's the likelihood this could happen?"''
<div align="right">—Rex Ungericht</div>
|
|{{blog|133|2015|03|17|3d late}}
|
|
|-
|[[File:Space Burial.png|100px]]
|'''{{what if|134|Space Burial}}'''
|''"I've often joked I'd like to have my remains put into orbit. Not in a "scatter my ashes" sense, but, like, "throw my naked corpse out the airlock" sense. Honestly, my main motivation is to baffle someone in the distant future, but it's an interesting scientific question: what would happen to my body in orbit over the course of years, decades or centuries?"''
<div align="right">—Tim in Fremont</div>
|
|{{blog|134|2015|03|28|4d late}}
|
|
|-
|[[File:Digging Downward.png|100px]]
|'''{{what if|135|Digging Downward}}'''
|''"What would happen if I dug straight down, at a speed of 1 foot per second? What would kill me first?"''
<div align="right">—Jack Kaunis</div>
|
|{{blog|135|2015|04|05|1d late}}
|
|
|-
|[[File:Spiders vs. the Sun.png|100px]]
|'''{{what if|136|Spiders vs. the Sun}}'''
|''"Which has a greater gravitational pull on me: the Sun, or spiders? Granted, the Sun is much bigger, but it is also much further away, and as I learned in high school physics, the gravitational force is proportional to the square of the distance."''
<div align="right">—Marina Fleming</div>
|The Sun. But spiders are a lot more scary.
|{{blog|136|2015|04|12}}
|{{book|2|44}}
|
|-
|[[File:New Horizons.png|100px]]
|'''{{what if|137|New Horizons}}'''
|''"What if New Horizons hits my car?"''
<div align="right">—Robin Sheat</div>
|
|{{blog|137|2015|07|14|2m 25d late}}
|
|
|-
|[[File:Jupiter Submarine.png|100px]]
|'''{{what if|138|Jupiter Submarine}}'''
|''"What if you released a submarine into Jupiter's atmosphere? Would it eventually reach a point where it would float? Could it navigate?"''
<div align="right">—KTH</div>
|
|{{blog|138|2015|07|28|7d late}}
|
|
|-
|[[File:Jupiter Descending.png|100px]]
|'''{{what if|139|Jupiter Descending}}'''
|''"If you did '''{{what if|138|fall into Jupiter's atmosphere in a submarine}}''', what would it actually look like? What would you see before you melted or burned up?"''
<div align="right">—Ada Munroe</div>
|{{notice|Too short}}You would see... brown.
|{{blog|139|2015|08|04}}
|
|
|-
|[[File:Proton Earth, Electron Moon.png|100px]]
|'''{{what if|140|Proton Earth, Electron Moon}}'''
|''"What if the Earth were made entirely of protons, and the Moon were made entirely of electrons?"''
<div align="right">—Noah Williams</div>
|
|{{blog|140|2015|09|18|1m 7d late}}
|{{book|2|48}}
|
|-
|[[File:Sunbeam.png|100px]]
|'''{{what if|141|Sunbeam}}'''
|''"What if all of the sun's output of visible light were bundled up into a laser-like beam that had a diameter of around 1m once it reaches Earth?"''
<div align="right">—Max Schäfer</div>
|
|{{blog|141|2016|01|12|3m 18d late}}
|
|
|-
|[[File:Space Jetta.png|100px]]
|'''{{what if|142|Space Jetta}}'''
|''"What if I tried to re-enter the atmosphere in my car? (a 2000 VW Jetta TDI). Would it do more environmental damage than it is already apparently doing?"''
<div align="right">—Casey Berg</div>
|{{notice|Why?}}Actually, it would be more clean than it is currently!
|{{blog|142|2016|01|20|1d late}}
|
|
|-
|[[File:Europa Water Siphon.png|100px]]
|'''{{what if|143|Europa Water Siphon}}'''
|''"What if you built a siphon from the oceans on Europa to Earth? Would it flow once it's set up? (We have an idea for selling bottled Europa water.)"''
<div align="right">—A group of Google Search SREs</div>
|{{notice|Too short}}No, at least not with a siphon.
|{{blog|143|2016|01|26|1d early}}
|
|
|-
|[[File:Saliva Pool.png|100px]]
|'''{{what if|144|Saliva Pool}}'''
|''"How long would it take for a single person to fill up an entire swimming pool with their own saliva?"''
<div align="right">—Mary Griffin, 9th grade</div>
|For an Olympic pool, 8,345 years; you would need to start during the invention of agriculture to finish by the present day.
|{{blog|144|2016|02|02}}
|{{book|2|53}}
|
|-
|[[File:Fire From Moonlight.png|100px]]
|'''{{what if|145|Fire From Moonlight}}'''
|''"Can you use a magnifying glass and moonlight to light a fire?"''
<div align="right">—Rogier Spoor</div>
|
|{{blog|145|2016|02|09}}
|{{book|2|51}}
|
|-
|[[File:Stop Jupiter.png|100px]]
|'''{{what if|146|Stop Jupiter}}'''
|''"I understand that the ''New Horizons'' craft used gravity assist from Jupiter to increase its speed on the way to Pluto. I also understand that by doing this, Jupiter slowed down very slightly. How many flyby runs would it take to stop Jupiter completely?"''
<div align="right">—Dillon</div>
|{{notice|Why?}}This can never happen, even if we were to throw Earth at Jupiter.
|{{blog|146|2016|02|16}}
|
|
|-
|[[File:Niagara Straw.png|100px]]
|'''{{what if|147|Niagara Straw}}'''
|''"What would happen if one tried to funnel Niagara Falls through a straw?"''
<div align="right">—David Gwizdala</div>
|{{notice|Too short, last part.}}The International Niagara Committee, the International Niagara Board of Control, the International Joint Commission, the International Niagara Board Working Committee, and probably the Great Lakes–St. Lawrence River Adaptive Management Committee would get angry. The Earth would also be destroyed.
|{{blog|147|2016|02|26}} 3d late)
|{{book|2|55}}
|
|-
|[[File:Eat the Sun.png|100px]]
|'''{{what if|148|Eat the Sun}}'''
|''"What percentage of the Sun's heat (per day) does the population of Earth eat in calories per year? What changes could be made to our diets for the amount of calories to equal the energy of the Sun?"''
<div align="right">—James Mitchell</div>
|
|{{blog|148|2016|03|12|8d late}}
|
|
|-
|[[File:Pizza Bird.png|100px]]
|'''{{what if|149|Pizza Bird}}'''
|''"My boyfriend recently took a flight on a plane with wifi, and while he was up there, wistfully asked if I could send him a pizza. I jokingly sent him a photo of a parrot holding a pizza slice in its beak. Obviously, my boyfriend had to go without pizza until he landed at JFK. But this raised the question: could a bird deliver a standard 20" New York-style cheese pizza in a box? And if so, what kind of bird would it take?"''
<div align="right">—Tina Nguyen</div>
|
|{{blog|149|2016|03|26|7d late}}
|
|
|-
|[[File:Tatooine Rainbow.png|100px]]
|'''{{what if|150|Tatooine Rainbow}}'''
|''"Since rainbows are caused by the refraction of the sunlight by tiny droplets of rainwater, what would rainbow look like on Earth if we had two suns like Tatooine?"''
<div align="right">—Raga</div>
|
|{{blog|150|2016|05|23|1m 21d late}}
|
|
|-
|[[File:Sun Bug.png|100px]]
|'''{{what if|151|Sun Bug}}'''
|''"How many fireflies would it take to match the brightness of the Sun?"''
<div align="right">—Luke Doty</div>
|
|{{blog|151|2016|07|21|1m 23d late}}
|
|
|-
|[[File:Flood Death Valley.png|100px]]
|'''{{what if|152|Flood Death Valley}}'''
|''"Since Death Valley is below sea level could we dig a hole to the ocean and fill it up with water?"''
<div align="right">—Nick Traeden</div>
|
|{{blog|152|2016|10|18|2m 21d late}}
|
|
|-
|''The thumbnail for this blog article wasn't archived.''
|'''<span class="plainlinks">[https://web.archive.org/web/20161205191559/http://what-if.xkcd.com/153 Peptides]</span>'''
|''"What is the longest English word you can spell using the one letter abbreviations of the 20 genetic amino acids? What about the three letter abbreviations? What would the resultant peptides look like?"''
<div align="right">—Kira (Lysine-Isoleucine-Arginine-Alanine) Guth</div>
|
|{{blog|153|2016|12|05|notAvailable=Published by accident and deleted: [[what if? (blog)#top|learn more]]}}
|
|
|-
|[[File:Hide the Atmosphere.png|100px]]
|'''{{what if|153|Hide the Atmosphere}}'''
|''"Earth’s atmosphere is really thin compared to the radius of the Earth. How big a hole do I need to dig before people suffocate?"''
<div align="right">—Sam Burke</div>
|The hole would need to be very big. Under the right circumstances, a five-mile hole over the entire state of Texas might suffice.
|{{blog|153|2017|01|30|3m 5d late}}
|
|
|-
|[[File:Coast-to-Coast Coasting.png|100px]]
|'''{{what if|154|Coast-to-Coast Coasting}}'''
|''"What if the entire continental US was on a decreasing slope from West to East. How steep would the slope have to be to sustain the momentum needed to ride a bicycle the entire distance without pedaling?"''
<div align="right">—Brandon Rooks</div>
|The ramp would need to be five miles high (eight kilometres) to make this possible, and that would be at a speed slower than walking. You would also need oxygen for the first third of the way down.
|{{blog|154|2017|02|08|9d late}}
|
|
|-
|[[File:Toaster vs. Freezer.png|100px]]
|'''{{what if|155|Toaster vs. Freezer}}'''
|''"Would a toaster still work in a freezer?"''
<div align="right">—[https://maximumfun.org/podcasts/my-brother-my-brother-and-me/ My Brother, My Brother, and Me], [https://maximumfun.org/episodes/my-brother-my-brother-and-me/mbmbam-343-sauce-doctors-blessing/ Episode 343], discussing a Yahoo Answers question</div>
|
|{{blog|155|2017|02|28|13d late}}
|
|
|-
|[[File:Electrofishing for Whales.png|100px]]
|'''{{what if|156|Electrofishing for Whales}}'''
|''"I used to work on a fisheries crew where we would use an electro-fisher backpack to momentarily stun small fish (30 - 100 mm length) so we could scoop them up with nets to identify and measure them. The larger fish tended to be stunned for slightly longer because of their larger surface area but I don't imagine this relationship would be maintained for very large animals. Could you electrofish for a blue whale? At what voltage would you have have to set the e-fisher?"''
<div align="right">—Madeline Cooper</div>
|Electrofishing has long-term effects on fish and especially dolphins. Larger animals, especially mammals, are likely to die rather than just get stunned. But it is also harder to get any effect in saltwater, which explains why electrofishing is mainly done in rivers and lakes, compared to fresh water. This means it wouldn't work on blue whales.
|{{blog|156|2017|03|09|2d late}}
|
|
|-
|[[File:Earth-Moon Fire Pole.png|100px]]
|'''{{what if|157|Earth-Moon Fire Pole}}'''
|''"My son (5y) asked me today: If there were a kind of a fireman's pole from the Moon down to the Earth, how long would it take to slide all the way from the Moon to the Earth?"''
<div align="right">—Ramon Schönborn, Germany</div>
|This set-up would face many challenges, but these would be the different domains of the slowest extreme sport: climbing out of the Moon's gravity, accelerating through the middle transfer phase, and then decelerating to your supersonic arrival on Earth.
|{{blog|157|2018|03|21|1y 2m 5d late}}
|{{book|2|58}}
|
|-
|[[File:Hot Banana.png|100px]]
|'''{{what if|158|Hot Banana}}'''
|''"I heard that bananas are radioactive. If they are radioactive, then they radiate energy. How many bananas would you need to power a house?"''
<div align="right">—Kang Ji</div>
|Bananas are not very radioactive, so it would take an absurdly large number. However, gathering that many bananas in one place would have negative consequences. New York no longer exists.
|{{blog|158|2022|05|04|3y 11m 7d late}}
|
|
|-
|[[File:Hailstones.png|100px]]
|'''{{what if|159|Hailstones}}'''
|''"My 4 year old son and I were wondering about soccer ball sized hail today. How much damage would a hail storm with size 5 soccer ball sized hail do?"''
<div align="right">—Michael Grill</div>
|There's no real chance of producing that big hail stones, but if they could be lethal even if staying indoors.
|{{blog|159|2022|07|05|1m 30d late}}
|
|
|-
|''This blog article doesn't have a thumbnail.''
|'''{{what if|160|Transatlantic Car Rental}}'''
|''"My daughter recently received her driver's permit in the US, and aspires to visit mainland Europe someday. She has learned enough about the rules of the road to know never to drive into the ocean; however, she jokingly suggested that given a sufficient quantity of rental cars, she could eventually get to Europe by driving east repeatedly. The question is, how many vehicles would it take to build a car-bridge across the Atlantic?"''
<div align="right">—Eric Munson</div>
|
|{{blog|160|2022|09|06|1m 26d late}}
|
|
|-
|''This blog article doesn't have a thumbnail.''
|'''{{what if|161|Star Ownership}}'''
|''"If every country's airspace extended up forever, which country would own the largest percentage of the galaxy at any given time?"''
<div align="right">—Reuven Lazarus</div>
|{{notice|Too short}}Australia owns most of the galaxy at certain points in time.
|{{blog|161|2022|11|01|1m 19d late}}
|{{book|2|24}}
|
|-
|''This blog article doesn't have a thumbnail.''
|'''{{what if|162|Comet Ice}}'''
|''"Could I cool down the Earth by capturing a comet and dropping it in the ocean, like an ice cube in a glass of water?"''
<div align="right">—Daniel Becker</div>
|{{notice|Too short}}The comet either burns up in the atmosphere or speeds up global warming.
|{{blog|162|2022|12|06|29d late}}
|
|
|-
|
|'''Global Windstorm'''
|''"What would happen if the Earth and all terrestrial objects suddenly stopped spinning, but the atmosphere retained its velocity?"''
<div align="right">—Andrew Brown</div>
|
|
|{{book|1|1}}
|{{book|4|2024|01|09|gp5G1QG6cXc|What if Earth suddenly stopped spinning?}}
|-
|
|'''Weird (and Worrying) Questions from the What If? Inbox, #1'''
|
|
|
|{{book|1|4}}
|
|-
|
|'''New York–Style Time Machine'''
|''"I assume when you travel back in time you end up at the same spot on the Earth’s surface. At least, that’s how it worked in the Back to the Future movies. If so, what would it be like if you traveled back in time, starting in Times Square, New York, 1000 years? 10,000 years? 100,000 years? 1,000,000 years? 1,000,000,000 years? What about foward in time 1,000,000 years?"''
<div align="right">—Mark Dettling</div>
|
|
|{{book|1|5}}
|
|-
|
|'''Periodic Wall of the Elements'''
|
<div align="right">—Andrew Brown</div>
|
|
|{{book|1|8}}
|
|-
|
|'''Weird (and Worrying) Questions from the What If? Inbox, #2'''
|
|
|
|{{book|1|12}}
|
|-
|
|'''The Last Human Light'''
|
|
|
|{{book|1|13}}
|{{book|11|2024|05|28|8fADp43wJwU|If all humans died, when would the last light go out?}}
|-
|
|'''Weird (and Worrying) Questions from the What If? Inbox, #3'''
|
|
|
|{{book|1|16}}
|
|-
|
|'''Orbital Submarine'''
|
|
|
|{{book|1|17}}
|{{book|7|2024|03|05|EsUBRd1O2dU|Would a Submarine Work as a Spaceship?}}
|-
|
|'''Weird (and Worrying) Questions from the What If? Inbox, #4'''
|
|
|
|{{book|1|20}}
|
|-
|
|'''Human Computer'''
|
|
|
|{{book|1|21}}
|
|-
|
|'''Common Cold'''
|
|
|
|{{book|1|25}}
|
|-
|
|'''Weird (and Worrying) Questions from the What If? Inbox, #5'''
|
|
|
|{{book|1|27}}
|
|-
|
|'''No More DNA'''
|
|
|
|{{book|1|29}}
|
|-
|
|'''Weird (and Worrying) Questions from the What If? Inbox, #6'''
|
|
|
|{{book|1|31}}
|
|-
|
|'''Flyover States'''
|
|
|
|{{book|1|33}}
|
|-
|
|'''Weird (and Worrying) Questions from the What If? Inbox, #7'''
|
|
|
|{{book|1|36}}
|
|-
|
|'''Self-Fertilization'''
|
|
|
|{{book|1|37}}
|
|-
|
|'''Weird (and Worrying) Questions from the What If? Inbox, #8'''
|
|
|
|{{book|1|40}}
|
|-
|
|'''Lost Immortals'''
|
|
|
|{{book|1|42}}
|
|-
|
|'''Weird (and Worrying) Questions from the What If? Inbox, #9'''
|
|
|
|{{book|1|46}}
|
|-
|
|'''Sparta'''
|
|
|
|{{book|1|47}}
|
|-
|
|'''Lego Bridge'''
|
|
|
|{{book|1|51}}
|
|-
|
|'''Weird (and Worrying) Questions from the What If? Inbox, #10'''
|
|
|
|{{book|1|54}}
|
|-
|
|'''Weightless Arrow'''
|
|
|
|{{book|1|56}}
|
|-
|
|'''All the Lightning'''
|
|
|
|{{book|1|62}}
|{{book|10|2024|05|07|fs28lEq9smw|What if all the lightning on Earth struck the same place at once?}}
|-
|
|'''Weird (and Worrying) Questions from the What If? Inbox, #11'''
|
|
|
|{{book|1|64}}
|
|-
|
|'''Neutron Bullet'''
|
|
|
|{{book|1|67}}
|
|-
|
|'''Weird (and Worrying) Questions from the What If? Inbox, #12'''
|
|
|
|{{book|1|68}}
|
|-
|
|'''Richter 15'''
|
|
|
|{{book|1|69}}
|{{book|2|2023|12|05|e3uk7jU3RHo|What would a magnitude 15 earthquake be like?}}
|-
|
|'''Soupiter'''
|''"What would happen if the Solar System was filled with soup out to Jupiter?"''
<div align="right">—Amelia</div>
|The soup would collapse into a black hole and devour the Milky Way, though we would feel mostly fine for the first 10 to 15 minutes.
|
|{{book|2|1}}
|
|-
|
|'''Helicopter Ride'''
|''"What if you were hanging on a helicopter blade by your hands and then someone turned it on?"''
<div align="right">—Corban Blanset</div>
|Without any grip assistance, you'd fall off before it completed its first revolution. With handholds, your body would instead fall off of your arms.
|
|{{book|2|2}}
|
|-
|
|'''Dangerously Cold'''
|''"Would there be any danger from standing next to a large object that was 0 Kelvin?"''
<div align="right">—Christopher</div>
|There wouldn't be a lot of direct danger from the cube itself, though it would make you feel cold. The bigger danger would be from liquid oxygen condensing and igniting flammable objects. It would take a while to reheat the cube
|
|{{book|2|3}}
|
|-
|
|'''Ironic Vaporization'''
|''"What if we somehow evaporated a solid block of iron on {{asic|ear|th''}}''?"''
<div align="right">—Cooper C.</div>
|The cube would ignite whatever is near it and deposit large quantities of iron flakes downwind. However, it wouldn't make a huge impact on the total amount of atmospheric iron.
|
|{{book|2|4}}
|
|-
|
|'''Cosmic Road Trip'''
|''"If the universe stopped expanding right now, how long would it take for a human to drive a car all the way to the edge of the universe?"''
<div align="right">—Sam H-H</div>
|
|
|{{book|2|5}}
|
|-
|
|'''Pigeon Chair'''
|''"How many pigeons would it require in order to lift the average person and launch a chair to the height of Australia's Q1 skyscraper?"''
<div align="right">—Nick Evans</div>
|
|
|{{book|2|6}}
|
|-
|rowspan="11"|
|rowspan="11"|'''Short Answers #1'''
|''"What if your blood became liquid uranium? Would you die from radiation, lack of oxygen, or something else?"''
<div align="right">—Thomas Chattaway</div>
|You would die of Jeff's Disease.
|rowspan="11"|
|rowspan="11"{{book|2|6.5}} (S1)
|rowspan="11"|
|-
|''"Could someone have an anime-style attack where they created a sword out of air? I'm not talking about an air blade, but something like cooling the air enough so that you had solid air to attack people."''
<div align="right">—Emma</div>
|Theoretically yes, but it would be extremely impractical.
|-
|''"How much water do you have to drink to become 99 percent water?"''
<div align="right">—LyraxH</div>
|About 500 gallons of water.
|-
|''"What would we see if we attached a lightweight camera to a balloon and let it fly away?"''
<div align="right">—Raymond Peng</div>
|We should have attached a transmitter as well.
|-
|''"How many calories does Mario burn a day?"''
<div align="right">—Daniel and Xavier Hovley</div>
|Mario starved to death in late 1985.
|-
|''"If a snake unhinged its jaw and swallowed a balloon whole, could/would the balloon carry the snake up?"''
<div align="right">—Freezachu</div>
|No.
|-
|''"If you were to jump out of an airplane that was traveling at Mach 880980 that was 100,00 feet above ground in New York City, with skydiving gear, could you survive?"''
<div align="right">—Jack Catten</div>
|rowspan="2"|No, you would die.
|-
|''"If there was no water on Earth, would we all live?"''
<div align="right">—Karen</div>
|-
|''"Is it possible to make a homemade jetpack?"''
<div align="right">—Azhari Zadil</div>
|It's very easy to make one that works once; much harder to make it work more.
|-
|''"I was wondering whether there's a way to use my welder as a defibrillator? (The specific model I own is an Impax IM-ARC140 arc welder.)"''
<div align="right">—Łukasz Grabowski</div>
|No, and you probably shouldn't be allowed to use it as an arc welder either.
|-
|''"What if all atoms on Earth were expanded to the size of a grape? Would we survive?
|I don't know how to answer this with science, but now I want grapes.
|-
|
|'''Geyser'''
|''"If one were to stand on top of the Old Faithful geyser in Yellowstone National Park, at what speed would they be launched upwards and what injuries would they likely sustain?"''
<div align="right">—Catherine McGrath</div>
|
|
|{{book|2|8}}
|
|-
|
|'''Pew, Pew, Pew'''
|''"If you shot a ridiculously powerful gun/{{asic|la|zer''}}'' would it go off the edge of the world in a straight line or curve around the world?"''
<div align="right">—Maelor</div>
|The beam would go off the edge of the world, except under certain circumstances.
|
|{{book|2|9}}
|
|-
|rowspan="4"|
|rowspan="4"|'''Weird & Worrying #1'''
|colspan="2"|''"Can bees or other animals go to hell? Or can they murder other bees without consequences?"''
<div align="right">—Sadie Kim</div>
|rowspan="4"|
|rowspan="4"{{book|2|10.5}} (W1)
|rowspan="4"|
|-
|colspan="2"|''"How many mirrors reflecting (sun)light would it take to kill, or at least, injure somebody?"''
<div align="right">—Eli Collinge</div>
|-
|colspan="2"|''"If you had to remove the tonsils of a giant, what would be the safest way for you to do it? The surgeon is a normal human."''
<div align="right">—Tirzah</div>
|-
|colspan="2"|''"What would it take to defeat Air Force One with a drone???"''
<div align="right">—Anonymous</div>
|-
|
|'''Banana Church'''
|''"Can all the world's bananas fit inside of all of the world's churches? My friends have had this argument for a little over 10 years now."''
<div align="right">—Jonas</div>
|Yes. They would likely only fill the churches to 6 inches deep.
|
|{{book|2|11}}
|
|-
|
|'''Lose Weight the Slow and Incredibly Difficult Way'''
|''"I want to lose 20 pounds. How much of the Earth's mass would I have to "relocate" to space in order to achieve my goal?"''
<div align="right">—Ryan Murphy</div>
|You would have to remove 85% of the Earth's mass.
|
|{{book|2|13}}
|
|-
|
|'''Jupiter Comes to Town'''
|''"Dear Randall, what would happen if you shrunk Jupiter down to the size of a house and placed in a neighborhood, say, replacing a house?"''
<div align="right">—Zachary</div>
|
|
|{{book|2|15}}
|
|-
|
|'''Swing Set'''
|''"How tall can a swing set be while still being powered by a human pumping their legs? Is it possible to build a swing set tall enough to launch the rider into space if they jump at the right time? (Assuming the human has enough energy, which my 5-year-old seems to have.)"''
<div align="right">—Joe Coyle</div>
|This wouldn't happen.
|
|{{book|2|17}}
|
|-
|
|'''Airliner Catapult'''
|''"My friend is a commercial airline pilot. She says that a significant amount of fuel is spent on takeoff. To save fuel, why couldn't we launch airplanes using catapult systems like on aircraft carriers (calibrated to normal human accelerations)? Could significant amounts of fossil fuels be saved if the catapults could be run by some other clean energy? I'm imagining a rope ... one end tied to the airplane, the other tied to a large boulder at the edge of a cliff. Just push the boulder off the cliff!"''
<div align="right">—Brady Barkey</div>
|
|
|{{book|2|18}}
|
|-
|rowspan="14"|
|rowspan="14"|'''Short Answers #2'''
|''"Billy the Clown is running out of cash, so in order to raise money, he devises his newest trick: He will inflate, by mouth, a standard-size party balloon until the material (some form of indestructible rubber) is just one atom thick. How large would the inflated party balloon be?"''
<div align="right">—Alan Fong</div>
|It's a total mystery why Billy is running out of cash.
|rowspan="14"|
|rowspan="14"{{book|2|18.5}} (S2)
|rowspan="14"|
|-
|''"How many leaf blowers would it take to move a standard SUV"''
<div align="right">—Ashley H.</div>
|One or two dozen heavy-duty leaf blowers on level ground; more if you don't want to be honked at.
|-
|''"If you put a vacuum at extremely high suction and aimed it at a normal BMW sedan, what would happen?"''
<div align="right">—Anonymous</div>
|Nothing.
|-
|''"On a warm summer evening, when you sit outside with a light on, you can be sure that bugs will be attracted to the light. Then why is it that these same bugs don't fly toward the biggest and strongest lamp of them all, namely the Sun, during the day?"''
<div align="right">—Anonymous</div>
|Those that would would die and not be able to produce offspring with the same traits.
|-
|''"If you collected all of the guns in the world and put them on one side of the Earth, then shot the all simultaneously, would it move the Earth?"''
<div align="right">—Nathan</div>
|It would not move the Earth, but it would make the other side a nicer place to live.
|-
|''"What would happen if you microwaved a small microwave, while the smaller one was on as well?"''
<div align="right">—Micheal</div>
|You would no longer be welcome in that IKEA.
|-
|''"If you're jumping on a trampoline, how fast would your body have to be going to:<br>'''A.''' Break all bones on impact<br>'''B.''' Make your body go though the tiny holes of the mesh."''
<div align="right">—Micah Lane</div>
|<ol style="list-style-type: upper-alpha">
<li>Breaking all of the bones in your body would be hard because a lot of them are very small, but it would be fast enough that the trampoline wouldn't make much of a difference.</li>
<li>This can't happen, no matter how fast you're going.</li>
</ol>
|-
|''"I have a Nothing Grenade™. When detonated, it instantly replaces itself with a sphere of perfect vacuum 2 meters across. What would actually happen when it went off?"''
<div align="right">—Dave H.</div>
|You would have a device functionally similar to a regular grenade.
|-
|''"Is space hot or cold?"''
<div align="right">—Isaac</div>
|Space is the hottest place you can freeze to death in.
|-
|''"How many bones can you remove from the human body while allowing the human to continue living? Asking for a friend."''
<div align="right">—Chris Rakeman</div>
|That person is not your friend.
|-
|''"What would happen if you put a human under a g-force of 417 Gs for twenty seconds?"''
<div align="right">—Nythill</div>
|You would be arrested for murder.
|-
|''"Where or how can one commit a murder and not be prosecuted for it?"''
<div align="right">—Kunai Dhawan</div>
|
|-
|''"I read today that insects make at least $57 billion a year for the US economy. If we were to pay every single insect in the United States equally for their economic contribution, how much would each insect get?"''
<div align="right">—Hannah McDonald</div>
|Each insect would get $0.0000029.
Broken down:
*$18 billion to flies, including mosquitoes
*$16 billion to bees, wasps, and ants
*$10 billion to beetles
*$7 billion to thrips
*$1 billion to butterflies and moths
*$1 billion to true bugs
*$4 billion to all other insects
|-
|''"What, in today's world and yesterday's world, does it mean to be human, in all social and biological factors?"''
<div align="right">—Seth Carrol</div>
|You meant to submit this to ''Why If?: Deeply Ungrammatical Answers to Unanswerable Philosophical Questions''.
|-
|
|'''Slow Dinosaur Apocalypse'''
|''"What if an object like the Chicxulub impactor hit earth with a relatively low relative speed of (let's say) 3 mph"''
<div align="right">—Beni von Alemann</div>
|
|
|{{book|2|19}}
|
|-
|
|'''Elemental Worlds'''
|''"What if Mercury (the planet) were entirely made of mercury (the element)? What if Ceres was made of cerium? Uranus made of uranium? Neptune made of neptunium? What about Pluto made of plutonium?"''
<div align="right">—Anonymous</div>
|
|
|{{book|2|20}}
| 
|-
|
|'''Tire Rubber'''
|''"Rubber tires on millions of cars and trucks start with about ½" tread and end up bald. Rubber should be everywhere, or at least our highways should be made thicker. Where's the rubber?"''
<div align="right">—Fred</div>
|
|
|{{book|2|25}}
|
|-
|rowspan="10"|
|rowspan="10"|'''Short Answers #3'''
|''"How long do you think two people would have to kiss continuously before they had no lips left?"''
<div align="right">—Asli</div>
|That's not how lips work
|rowspan="10"|
|rowspan="10"{{book|2|26.5}} (S3)
|rowspan="10"|
|-
|''"My college friend and I have had this debate for years now: If you put a million hungry ants in a glass cube with one human, who's more likely to walk out alive?"''
<div align="right">—Eric Bowman</div>
|Both the human and the ants would go after the person who put them in the glass box.
|-
|''"What if all of humanity set all of their differences aside and work together to level out the Earth into a perfect sphere?"''
<div align="right">—Erik Andersen</div>
|This would quickly create new differences.
|-
|''"People talk a lot about a space elevator or a building that would reach into low orbit to save time and resources getting things into space. This is going to sound incredibly stupid, but why has no one proposed building a road into space? Since orbit is generally considered to be 62 miles out, would it be possible to build a 62-mile-high mountain somewhere in the United States? Colorado would be my suggestion, since it has a low population density and is about a mile above sea level already."''
<div align="right">—Brian</div>
|Where are you going to get the materials to build the mountain?
|-
|''"If I shot a rocket and a bullet through Jupiter's center, would they come out the other side?"''
<div align="right">—James Wilson</div>
|No. Jupiter is bulletproof.
|-
|''"What if Mount Everest magically turned into pure lava? What would happen to life; would we all die?"''
<div align="right">—Ian</div>
|We would mostly be okay.
|-
|''"Can you fall down into the Mariana Trench, or would you just swim over it?"''
<div align="right">—Rodolfo Estrella</div>
|You can do both of those things
|-
|''"I play Dungeons & Dragons, and my DM doesn't want to let us use the Gust of Wind spell to push wind into the sails of a ship and make it move. Her argument is that you can't use this spell to move a ship because someone on a sailboat can't aim a fan at the sail to propel the boat. We argue that since the spell doesn't push you backward when you use it, then we should be able to use it to make the ship sail. She says she'll allow it only if you say so."''
<div align="right">—Georgia Paterson and Allison Adams</div>
|Since the spell doesn't push you backwards, it should work. If the spell pushed you backwards, you would just have to aim the spell backwards.
|-
|''"What if I struck a match on Titan? Would it light if there's no oxygen?"''
<div align="right">—Ethan Fitzgibbon</div>
|It would spark and then fizzle out.
|-
|''"I posted a question on social media asking what would be the smallest change that would create the biggest disaster. One of the responses I got said "if every atom gained 1 proton." So my question for you is, what would happen if every atom gained 1 proton?"''
<div align="right">—Olivia Caputo</div>
|That would not be a small change.
|-
|
|'''Suction Aquarium'''
|''"When I was a child, I discovered that if I took a container into the swimming pool, i could fill it with water and then bring the container (open-end down) to the surface of the water, and the water level in my container was higher than the water level in the pool. What would happen if you tried to do this with a giant container and the ocean? Could you create a giant aquarium on top of the water that the animals could swim in and out of freely? Maybe an irregularly shaped container that you would walk around on to get closer to the fish?"''
<div align="right">—Caroline Collett</div>
|
|
|{{book|2|27}}
|
|-
|
|'''Earth Eye'''
|''"If the Earth were a massive eye, how far would it see?"''
<div align="right">—Alasdir</div>
|
|
|{{book|2|28}}
|
|-
|
|'''Build Rome in a Day'''
|''"How many people would it take to build Rome in a day?"''
<div align="right">—Lauren</div>
| It would take anywhere between 15 minutes and 150 minutes with the whole Earth working.
|
|{{book|2|29}}
|
|-
|
|'''Mariana Trench Tube'''
|''"If I put an indestructible 20-meter-wide glass tube in the ocean that goes all the way down to the deepest part of the ocean, what would it be like to stand at the bottom? Assuming the sun goes directly overhead."''
<div align="right">—Zoki Čulo</div>
|
|
|{{book|2|30}}
|
|-
|
|'''MRI Compass'''
|''"Why don't compasses point toward the nearest hospital because of the magnetic fields created by MRI machines?"''
<div align="right">—D. Hughes</div>
|They actually do, but only within ~10 meters.
|
|{{book|2|32}}
|
|-
|
|'''Ancestor Fraction'''
|''"I noticed recently that the number of people within a family tree increases exponentially with each generation: I have 2 parents, 4 grandparents, 8 great-grandparents, and so on. Which got me thinking—are most people descended from the majority of Homo sapiens who have ever lived? If not, what fraction of all the people that have ever lived am I descended from?"''
<div align="right">—Seamus</div>
|Likely between 2-3 twenty-fourths of all humans who have ever lived.
|
|{{book|2|33}}
|
|-
|
|'''Bird Car'''
|''"I'm a lowly college student stuck in a car without AC. As such, the windows are down most of the time when I'm driving, and I started thinking: If a bird happens to match my speed and direction perfectly, and I swerve to catch the bird in my car ... what happens next, other than an angry bird? Does the bird stay right where it was? Fly into the windshield? Drop into the seat? My roommate and I disagree. Any help settling this would really make all our lives easier."''
<div align="right">—Hunter W.</div>
| The bird would fall onto the seat at an angle, and then would fly out of the window (hopefully).
|
|{{book|2|34}}
|
|-
|rowspan="4"|
|rowspan="4"|'''Weird & Worrying #2'''
|colspan="2"|''"What would happen if you put the end of a vacuum hose up to your eye and turned on the vacuum?"''
<div align="right">—Kitty Greer</div>
|rowspan="4"|
|rowspan="4"{{book|2|35.5}} (W2)
|rowspan="4"|
|-
|colspan="2"|''"Is it possible to hold your arm straight out of a car window and punch a mailbox clean off its pole? Could you do it without breaking your hand?"''
<div align="right">—Ty Gwennap</div>
|-
|colspan="2"|''"If people's teeth kept growing, but when they were fully grown they come off and are swallowed, how long would it take before it causes any problems?"''
<div align="right">—Valen M.</div>
|-
|colspan="2"|''"In a defensive situation, how much epinephrine (in a EpiPen) would it take to subdue a possible attacker?"''
<div align="right">—Henry M.</div>
|-
|
|'''Vacuum Tube Smartphone'''
|''"What if my phone was based on vacuum tubes? How big would it be?"''
<div align="right">—Johnny</div>
| The phone would be about the size of one to five city blocks, and would melt its way through the Earth's crust. Conversely, the UNIVAC constructed with modern electrical components would be smaller than a grain of salt.
|
|{{book|2|36}}
|
|-
|
|'''Eat a Cloud'''
|''"Could a person eat a whole cloud?"''
<div align="right">—Tak</div>
|Not unless you can squeeze the air out first. If you don't you will burp out more cloud than you ate.
|
|{{book|2|38}}
|
|-
|
|'''Tall Sunsets'''
|''"Let's say that two people of different heights (159 cm and 206 cm) stand beside each other while looking at the sunset. How much longer will the taller person be able to see the sun than the shorter one?"''
<div align="right">—Rasmus Bunde Nielson</div>
|Over a second longer.
|
|{{book|2|39}}
|
|-
|
|'''Sisyphean Refrigerators'''
|''"Suppose everyone with a fridge or a freezer opened them at the same time, outdoors. Would that amount of cooling be able to noticeably change the temperature? If not, how many fridges would it take to lower the temperature, say, 5 degrees F? What about even lower?"''
<div align="right">—Nicholas Mittica</div>
|Refrigerators don't work like that, and would likely increase global temperatures by 0.3 degrees celsius. The infinite spite of Hades is surprisingly green.
|
|{{book|2|41}}
|
|-
|
|'''Basketball Earth'''
|''"You know how when you spin a basketball on your finger you hit the side to make it go faster and balance it? If a meteor passes close enough to the earth, can it make the Earth spin faster like your hand does the basketball?"''
<div align="right">—Zayne Freshley</div>
|Yes.
|
|{{book|2|43}}
|
|- 
|
|'''Inhale a Person'''
|''"If house dust comprises up to 80 percent dead skin, how many people worth of skin does a person consume/inhale in a lifetime?"''
<div align="right">—Greg</div>
|You could inhale at most 3 gallons of human skin in a lifetime, and dust is not mostly dead skin. Instead it is a cursed salad of soil, pollen, cotton fibers, crumbs, powdered sugar, glitter, pet hair and dander, plastic, soot, human or animal hair, flour, glass, smoke, mites, and various miscellaneous gunk.
|
|{{book|2|45}}
|
|-
|
|'''Candy Crush Lightning'''
|''"How many Wint-O-Green Life Savers would it take to create a life-size lightning bolt if you crushed them"''
<div align="right">—Violet M.</div>
|Billions
|
|{{book|2|46}}
|
|-
|rowspan="13"|
|rowspan="13"|'''Short Answers #4'''
|''"Can humans safely eat rabid creatures?"''
<div align="right">—Winston</div>
|No.
|rowspan="13"|
|rowspan="13"{{book|2|46.5}} (S4)
|rowspan="13"|
|-
|''"What if the Earth's core suddenly stopped producing heat?"''
<div align="right">—Laura</div>
|We would be mostly fine.
|-
|''"Could humanity, with our current technology, destroy the Moon?"''
<div align="right">—Tyler</div>
|No.
|-
|''"Can global warming cause the Earth's magnetic fields to weaken?"''
<div align="right">—Pavaki</div>
|No.
|-
|''"If you used a laser, would you be able to bake something?"''
<div align="right">—Andrew Liu</div>
|Yes.
|-
|''"What if Earth was sliced in half, like an apple? Where should you be such that you have the best chance of survival?"''
<div align="right">—Anonymous</div>
|You should be holding the object that's slicing the Earth.
|-
|''"What would happen if a person dropped into a pool full of jellyfish?"''
<div align="right">—Lorenzo Belotti</div>
|It depends on the species.
|-
|''"Would it be possible to make a house floor into a massive air hockey table, so you could move heavy furniture across the room?"''
<div align="right">—Jacob Wood</div>
|Yes, and now I know what my next home improvement project will be.
|-
|''"My 7-year-old son asked us over dinner recently at which point potatoes melt (I assume in a vacuum). Please advise."''
<div align="right">—Steffen</div>
|Potatoes don't really melt at any temperature.
|-
|''"Would a pigeon be able to make it to space if it was not affected by gravity?"''
<div align="right">—Nick Evans</div>
|No. The air in the upper atmosphere is too thin to breathe and too cold
|-
|''"If you were flying blind through the Milky Way what would be the odds of hitting a star or planet?"''
<div align="right">—David</div>
|If you flew edge-on, it would be about 1 in 10 billion.
|-
|''"On various bodies in our Solar System (feel free to group any that are equivalent), roughly how long could you survive on the surface (for gas giants, assume you are on a magical platform at some point in the atmosphere that you could reasonably treat as the surface) with nothing but an infinite air supply and warm winter clothing? That is, no helmet, no pressure suit, just a nose-and-mouth air mask attached to a magic air generator, and clothing that would be suitable for, say, Chicago in winter. (No cute tricks like using the magic air supply to generate heat or whatever.)"''
<div align="right">—Melissa Trible</div>
|
*Earth: 100-ish years
*Venus: Weeks to months
*Everywhere else: Minutes to hours
Venus would be great if it weren't for the sulfuric acid.
|-
|''"What would happen if someone dropped an anvil on you from space?"''
<div align="right">—Sam Stiehl</div>
|About the same as if someone dropped an anvil on you from a building.
|-
|
|'''Toasty Warm'''
|''"What if I want to heat my house using toasters. How many do I need?"''
<div align="right">—Peter Ahlström</div>
|Not many, because the house would quickly catch on fire.
|
|{{book|2|47}}
|
|-
|
|'''Eyeball'''
|''"If I pulled out my eyeball and aimed it so that it was looking into my other eyeball, what would I see (assuming the nerves and veins remain undamaged)"''
<div align="right">—Lenka</div>
|You would see an eye superimposed with your head and the background of the room overlapping.
|
|{{book|2|49}}
|
|-
|
|'''Japan Runs an Errand'''
|''"If ALL of Japan's islands disappear, would it affect Earth's natural phenomena (plates, oceans, hurricanes, climate, and so on)?"''
<div align="right">—Miyu Uchida</div>
|It could shift the Earth's center of mass and axis of rotation by a foot. Sea level could also rise by up to a foot and a half in some areas. Ocean circulation in the Pacific could also be impacted.
|
|{{book|2|50}}
|
|-
|
|'''Read All the Laws'''
|''"If a person wanted to read all of the governing documents that apply to them—from the federal and state constitutions, treaties, agency-issued regulations, federal and state laws, local ordinances, etc.—how many pages would they have to read?"''
<div align="right">—Keith Yearman</div>
|Between 145000 and 12.3 million pages.
|
|{{book|2|52}}
|
|-
|rowspan="3"|
|rowspan="3"|'''Weird & Worrying #3'''
|colspan="2"|''"If I were to jump into a container of liquid nitrogen (or dispose of a body that way), how deep would it have to be for me/them to shatter into frozen pieces at the bottom?"''
<div align="right">—Stella Wohnig</div>
|rowspan="3"|
|rowspan="3"{{book|2|52.5}} (W3)
|rowspan="3"|
|-
|colspan="2"|''"What would happen to you if a colony of ants suddenly appeared in you bloodstream all at once?"''
<div align="right">—Matt, on behalf of Declan</div>
|-
|colspan="2"|''"If Harry Potter forgets where the invisible entrance to Platform 9¾ is, how long would he have to crash into walls randomnly before discovering it?"''
<div align="right">—Max Planker</div>
|-
|
|'''Snowball'''
|''"What if I tried to roll a snowball from the top of Mount Everest? How big would the snowball be by the time it reached the bottom and how long would it take?"''
<div align="right">—Michaeline Yates</div>
|It would remain about the same size, or it could cause an avalanche.
|
|{{book|2|54}}
|
|-
|
|'''Walking Backward in Time'''
|''"What if you decided to walk from Austin, Texas, to New York City, but every step takes you back thirty days?"''
<div align="right">—Jojo Yawson</div>
| The sky would flicker at 50 Hz, and you would arrive around 300,000 years in the past.
|
|{{book|2|56}}
|
|-
|
|'''Ammonia Tube'''
|''"What would happen if you fed ammonia into your stomach through a tube? How fast must the flow rate be to burn your stomach from the heat released? What would the newly created chlorine gas do to your stomach?"''
<div align="right">—Becca</div>
|there would be direct tissue damage, and other horrifying effects. Side note: Do not attend Ms. Frizzle,s chemistry class.
|
|{{book|2|57}}
|
|-
|rowspan="7"|
|rowspan="7"|'''Short Answers #5'''
|''"Could life evolve in a constantly running microwave?"''
<div align="right">—Abby Doth</div>
|No.
|rowspan="7"|
|rowspan="7"{{book|2|58.5}} (S5)
|rowspan="7"|
|-
|''"Tonight at my work as an ER nurse in the emergency room, a patient (high on methamphetamine) asked for a cup of water. I returned with a paper cup of water, which the patient promptly threw at my head, missing me but hitting the wall in such an improbable way that the open top of the cup impacted the wall and the cup contained/diminished most of the subsequent splatter. It occured to me that it might be possible to throw a cup of water hard enough that the container of water would go through the wall. Is this possible?"''
<div align="right">—Pete</div>
|Anything will go through a wall if you throw it hard enough
|-
|''"How slow would you have to chew in order to be able to infinitely consume breadsticks?"''
<div align="right">—Miller Broughton</div>
|You would have to divide each breadstick into 20 bites, chewing each bite 200 times at 1 chew per second.
|-
|''"If you were somehow to remove the white and yolk from inside an eggshell (chicken), and replace them with helium, would the eggshell float in the air?"''
<div align="right">—Eliabeth</div>
|No. An eggshell weighs more than the air it displaces.
|-
|''"What would stars smell like, if it were possible to smell them?"''
<div align="right">—Finn Ellis</div>
|It would smell like bleach or burning rubber, and would taste sour.
|-
|''"What is the average size for every man-made object on the planet?"''
<div align="right">—Max Carver</div>
|Not too big, not too small. About average.
|-
|''"E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E"''
<div align="right">—Nate Yu</div>
|I feel you, Nate.
|-
|
|'''Dog Overload'''
|''"Assuming 1 out of every 4 people has a 5-year-old dog, and the dog reproduces once every year, with 5 puppies, and the puppies start reproducing at 5 and stop at 15 and die at 20, how long would it take for the Earth to be flooded with puppies, assuming we have all the food, water, and oxygen to sustain them?"''
<div align="right">—Griffin</div>
|
|
|{{book|2|60}}
|
|-
|
|'''Sunscreen'''
|''"Assuming that SPF works as it purports, what SPF would you need for a 1-hour trip to the surface of the sun?"''
<div align="right">—Brian and Max Parker</div>
|You would need SPF 3,200,000 or a giant blob of sunscreen.
|
|{{book|2|62}}
|
|-
|
|'''Walking on the Sun'''
|''"After the Sun runs out of fuel, it will become a white dwarf and slowly cool. When will it be cool enough to touch?"''
<div align="right">—Jabari Garland</div>
|in about 20 billion years, but you won't be able to physically touch it and survive.
|
|{{book|2|63}}
|
|-
|
|'''Lemon Drops and Gumdrops'''
|''"What if all the raindrops were lemon drops and gumdrops?"''
<div align="right">—Shuo Peskoe-Yang</div>
|Human civilization would collapse, and we would all die.
|
|{{book|2|64}}
|
|-
|
|'''Bonus Chapter'''
|''"...but what if we tried even ''more'' power?"''
<div align="right">—Randall Munroe</div>
|
|
|{{book|3|70}}
|{{book|19|2024|12|03|jgafb8G7i4o|But what if we tried MORE power?}}
|-
|}

==Editors==
''[[#Article index|(jump back to table)]]''
===Add name of reader who asked the question.===
Here's how to add the name(s) to any question on the table. For example, this...
<nowiki>|''"What if all the raindrops were lemon drops and gumdrops?"''
|Human civilization would collapse, and we would all die.</nowiki>
... becomes this:
<nowiki>|''"What if all the raindrops were lemon drops and gumdrops?"''
<div align="right"></nowiki>'''—'''<font color="SeaGreen">'''''InsertNamesHere'''''</font><nowiki></div>
|Human civilization would collapse, and we would all die.</nowiki>
Copy the code and replace the green part! (NOTE: It uses the em-dash, not a normal hyphen, so don't replace the dash, or use <code>&mdash;</code>.) Transcribe it exactly as it is written on the website or book, including parenthesis and age, if given by Randall. '''Protip for desktop users:''' the text looks ALL CAPS on the site, but if you copy and paste it, it's in normal Sentence Case. You can simply copy and paste.

===Add YouTube video===
<nowiki>{{book|YT-NUMBER|YYYY|MM|DD|</nowiki><font color="SeaGreen">'''''<nowiki>HTTPS://LINK</nowiki>'''''</font>|VIDEO-TITLE}}
'''EXAMPLE:''' <nowiki>{{book|</nowiki><font color="SeaGreen">'''''2'''''</font>|<font color="SeaGreen">'''''2022'''''</font>|<font color="SeaGreen">'''''12'''''</font>|<font color="SeaGreen">'''''31'''''</font>|<font color="SeaGreen">'''''https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2LSyNhb5Y'''''</font>|<font color="SeaGreen">'''''What if everyone pointed a laser at the moon?'''''</font>}}

===Add book chapter===
For the first [[What If? (book)|What If? book]]:
<nowiki>{{book|</nowiki><font color="SeaGreen">'''''1'''''</font>|<font color="SeaGreen">'''''CHAPTER-NUMBER'''''</font>}}

For the second [[What If? 2]] book:
<nowiki>{{book|</nowiki><font color="SeaGreen">'''''2'''''</font>|<font color="SeaGreen">'''''CHAPTER-NUMBER'''''</font>}}

'''EXAMPLE:'''<nowiki>{{book|</nowiki><font color="SeaGreen">'''''2'''''</font>|<font color="SeaGreen">'''''69'''''</font>}}

If an article is available exclusively on the third book ([[What If? 10th Anniversary Edition]]) and not in the first two, use this:
<nowiki>{{book|</nowiki><font color="SeaGreen">'''''3'''''</font>|<font color="SeaGreen">'''''CHAPTER-NUMBER'''''</font>}}<noinclude>

===Link to a ''what if?'' article===
On this wiki, an easy way to link to a given ''what if?'' article is by using the {{Template|what if}} template. Copy and paste the text below, correcting the number and title (highlighted in green) to get this result:

'''EXAMPLE:'''
See the <nowiki>''[[what if? (blog)|what if?]]'' article ''{{what if|</nowiki><font color="SeaGreen"><ins>'''''158'''''</ins></font>|<font color="SeaGreen"><ins>'''''Hot Banana'''''</ins></font>}}<nowiki>''</nowiki>.
'''RESULTS IN:'''
See the ''[[what if? (blog)|what if?]]'' article ''{{what if|158|Hot Banana}}''.

NOTE: Since the blog releases are now random, please write a comment on [[{{LATESTCOMIC}}#Discussion|the newest comic's talk page]] to announce that a new ''what if?'' article is out.

''[[#Article index|(jump back to table)]]''
[[Category:What If?| 9]]{{xkcdmeta}}

what if? articles

2025-02-10T05:11:01Z

Take The A Train To Watertown: I attempt to fill some empty boxes

<noinclude>{{DISPLAYTITLE:''What If?'' chapters}}:''For other instances of this title, see [[What If (disambiguation)]].

</noinclude>==Article index==
<big>'''After more than 3 weeks and a TON of work by [[Talk:What If? chapters|so many people]], the two ''what if?'' tables have finally been merged.'''</big> --[[User:FaviFake|FaviFake]] ([[User talk:FaviFake|talk]]) 18:17, 3 February 2025 (UTC)

* <span style="background-color:#9eff9e;"><span style="color:green; font-size:1.4em;">''' ✓'''</span><big> '''Added: '''</big></span> '''All ~140 book-exclusive articles, each color-coded by book; reader question and Randall's answer for almost all ~70 [[What If? 2]]-exclusive articles; EVERY YouTube video and its associated article; over new 130 thumbnails uploaded; new article from [[What If? 10th Anniversary Edition|the new book]] and the [[what if? (blog)#top|deleted article]].'''

* <span style="background-color:#9eff9e;"><span style="color:green; font-size:1.4em;">''' ✓'''</span><big> '''Changes: '''</big></span> '''Merged columns No., Release date, and Weeks since last release; every column now easily sortable; columns Blog, Book (new), and YouTube (new) now use {{template|blog}} and {{template|book}} and are color-coded; split ''Short-Answer Sections'' into different cells; title bold and question italics and quoted

<span style="background-color:#ffc7c7;"><span style="color:red; font-size:1.4em;">''' '''</span><big> '''Things left to do: '''</big></span>  ''(If you need help editing the table, check out the ''[[What If? chapters#Editors|Editors section]]''! It includes a simple summary of the templates' documentations.)''

*We mostly only need to work on the explanations now! Add them for the articles that don't have one and improve the existing ones (they should be a summary of the answer, not just 1-2 sentences).
*Finish adding the name(s) of the readers who asked each questions. It's easy! The instructions are in the ''[[What If? chapters#Editors|Editors section]]''!
*Need to add all the questions from the first [[What If? (book)|''What If?'' book]] and a summary of each answer!
*Randall has released a new book, "''[[What If? 10th Anniversary Edition|What If? 10th Anniversary Edition]]''". [[What If? 10th Anniversary Edition|Add info about the new book]] and [[:Category:Books|update the old book pages]]!

<div style="display:none;">__TOC__</div>This is an index of all articles featured in Randall Munroe's ''what if?'' [[what if? (blog)|blog]] and [[:Category:Books|book series]]. For each article, the original question and a summary of Randall's answer are provided. If an article is available on the blog, you can click the title to read it in full. You can use the columns to sort the table alphabetically, by release date on the blog or YouTube, or by chapter in the books. The thumbnail is only available for articles published on the blog. If the title of a blog article differs from the one in the book, the latter will be provided in the Book column. A much simpler list that doesn't include book-exclusive articles can be found in the [https://what-if.xkcd.com/archive archive section] of the blog.

{| class="sortable wikitable"
! rowspan="2" scope="col" class="unsortable" | Thumbnail
! rowspan="2" scope="col" data-sort-type=text| Title
! rowspan="2" scope="col" data-sort-type=text| Reader's question
! rowspan="2" scope="col" class="unsortable" | Randall's answer
! colspan="3"| Article available in...  ''(click to sort)''
|-
! scope="col" data-sort-type=number | Blog
! scope="col" data-sort-type=number | Books
! scope="col" data-sort-type=number | YouTube
|-
|[[File:Relativistic Baseball.png|100px]]
|'''{{what if|1|Relativistic Baseball}}'''
|''"What would happen if you tried to hit a baseball pitched at 90% the speed of light?"''
<div align="right">—Ellen McManis</div>
|The ball would create plasma and reach home plate by about 70 nanoseconds. The result would be some kind of nuclear explosion, destroying everything about a mile from the field. A ruling of "{{w|hit by pitch}}" could be interpreted in this situation.
|{{blog|1|2012|07|10}}
|{{book|1|2}}
|{{book|5|2024|02|06|3EI08o-IGYk|What if you threw a baseball at nearly light speed?}}
|-
|[[File:SAT Guessing.png|100px]]
|'''{{what if|2|SAT Guessing}}'''
|''"What if everyone who took the SAT guessed on every multiple-choice question? How many perfect scores would there be?"''
<div align="right">—Rob Balder</div>
|No one would get a perfect score. The odds of guessing correctly on every question would be less than the odds of every ex-living president at that time and the main cast of [[:Category:Firefly|Firefly]] getting struck by lightning on the same day.
|{{blog|2|2012|07|10|7d early}}
|{{book|1|66}}
|
|-
|[[File:Yoda.png|100px]]
|'''{{what if|3|Yoda}}'''
|''"How much Force power can Yoda output?"''
<div align="right">—Ryan Finnie</div>
|Yoda can output about 19.2 kilowatts, or 25 horsepower. "Yoda power" would cost about $2/hour.
|{{blog|3|2012|07|17}}
|{{book|1|32}}
|
|-
|[[File:A Moles of Moles.png|100px]]
|'''{{what if|4|A Mole of Moles}}'''
|''"What would happen if you were to gather a mole (unit of measurement) of moles (the small furry critter) in one place?"''
<div align="right">—Sean Rice</div>
|A {{w|mole (unit)|mole}} is such a high number this would be tricky. They would condense into a pressurized sphere of meat that would freeze and occasionally explode from gases.
|{{blog|4|2012|07|24}}
|{{book|1|10}}
|
|-
|[[File:Robot Apocalypse.png|100px]]
|'''{{what if|5|Robot Apocalypse}}'''
|''"What if there was a robot apocalypse? How long would humanity last?"''
<div align="right">—Rob Lombino</div>
|Humanity would most likely survive. Most robots can easily be subdued because technology hasn’t been developed enough to allow them to walk, evade being destroyed, and kill us efficiently. They could decide to use our nuclear weapons, but that would hurt them more than us.
|{{blog|5|2012|07|31}}
|
|
|-
|[[File:Glass Half Empty.png|100px]]
|'''{{what if|6|Glass Half Empty}}'''
|''"What if a glass of water was, all of a sudden, literally half empty?"''
<div align="right">—Vittorio Iacovella</div>
|If the vacuum were on the bottom half, it would explode, but if it were on the top half, the air rushes in and it becomes normal water.
|{{blog|6|2012|08|07}}
|{{book|1|26}}
|{{book|16|2024|09|24|0EytSWiKrFg|What if a glass of water were LITERALLY half empty?}}
|-
|[[File:Everybody Out.png|100px]]
|'''{{what if|7|Everybody Out}}'''
|''"Is there enough energy to move the entire current human population off-planet?"''
<div align="right">—Adam</div>
|No, at least not without starving to death quickly and leaving our pets, belongings, and everything else behind. The best way to do it is either with a space tether or to ride the shockwave of a nuclear bomb, but the former lacks a good material and the latter is literally ''riding the shockwave of a nuclear bomb''. In any case, highly impractical.
|{{blog|7|2012|08|14}}
|{{book|1|35}}
|
|-
|[[File:Everybody Jump.png|100px]]
|'''{{what if|8|Everybody Jump}}'''
|''"What would happen if everyone on earth stood as close to each other as they could and jumped, everyone landing on the ground at the same instant?"''
<div align="right">—Thomas Bennett (and many others)</div>
|Earth would be unaffected, but almost all humans would probably be wiped out due to everyone trying to get home at the same time.
|{{blog|8|2012|08|21}}
|{{book|1|9}}
|{{book|9|2024|04|16|p2M8Y0z9Rl0|What if everyone jumped at once?}}
|-
|[[File:Soul Mates.png|100px]]
|'''{{what if|9|Soul Mates}}'''
|''"What if everyone actually had only one soul mate, a random person somewhere in the world?"''
<div align="right">—Benjamin Staffin</div>
|Almost nobody would find their soul mate, so most people would probably fake love, due to the difficult nature of finding true love and staying with someone.
|{{blog|9|2012|08|28}}
|{{book|1|6}}
|
|-
|[[File:Cassini.png|100px]]
|'''{{what if|10|Cassini}}'''
|''"What would the world be like if the land masses were spread out the same way as now - only rotated by an angle of 90 degrees?"''
<div align="right">—Socke</div>
|Hard to tell with any sort of certainty, but North America remains the same (just flipped, so Canada is tropical), South America becomes more like Europe before this question, Asia is flipped just like North America was, Europe becomes more like southeast Asia, Africa's climate is essentially rotated 90 degrees and East Africa gets a lot more tornadoes, Australia is colder and wetter, and Antarctica becomes a tropical rainforest. Of course, the biosphere collapses due to the shuffling and the ice caps (prematurely) melt, while also making certain wildlife appear elsewhere than normal.
|{{blog|10|2012|09|04}}
|
|
|-
|[[File:Droppings.png|100px]]
|'''{{what if|11|Droppings}}'''
|''"If you went outside and lay down on your back with your mouth open, how long would you have to wait until a bird pooped in it?"''
<div align="right">—Adrienne Olson</div>
|Assuming you are in an area with a reasonable number of birds, you'd have to wait about 195 years.
|{{blog|11|2012|09|11}}
|
|
|-
|[[File:Raindrop.png|100px]]
|'''{{what if|12|Raindrop}}'''
|''"What if a rainstorm dropped all of its water in a single giant drop?"''
<div align="right">—Michael McNeill</div>
|The surrounding area would be obliterated via the violent rush of crushing water, causing flash flooding in the surrounding area. There would be mass confusion for many following years.
|{{blog|12|2012|09|18}}
|{{book|1|65}}
|
|-
|[[File:Laser Pointer.png|100px]]
|'''{{what if|13|Laser Pointer}}'''
|''"If every person on Earth aimed a laser pointer at the Moon at the same time, would it change color?"''
<div align="right">—Peter Lipowicz</div>
|It would take lots of power, but yes, assuming you want to drain the Earth's oil and cover Asia in megawatt lasers. Going even further in power level fries the Earth and launches the Moon into the solar system.
|{{blog|13|2012|09|25}}
|{{book|1|7}}
|{{book|18|2024|11|05|JqFSGkFPipM|What if everyone pointed a laser at the moon?}}
|-
| rowspan="7" |[[File:Short Answer Section.png|100px]]
| rowspan="7" |'''{{what if|14|Short Answer Section}}'''
|''"How long would the Sun last if a giant water hose were focused upon it?"''
<div align="right">—Austin Dickey</div>
|The Sun would actually burn brighter due to water being mostly hydrogen (main fusion fuel of stars) and eventually become a black hole with all the mass of the water.
| rowspan="7"{{blog|14|2012|10|02}}
| rowspan="7" |
| rowspan="7" |
|-
|''"What if you shined a flashlight (or a laser) into a sphere made of one-way mirror glass?"''
<div align="right">—Chase Montgomery</div>
|One-way glass does not exist. The light shines through just like normal glass.
|-
|''"If Michael Phelps could hold his breath indefinitely, how long would it take for him to reach the lowest point in the ocean and back if he swam straight down and then straight back up?"''
<div align="right">—Jimmy Morey</div>
|Michael Phelps would die somewhere between 100 and 400 meters of depth. If he were immune to pressure, then it would take 3 hours to swim to the bottom of the Marianas Trench and back.
|-
|''"In the first Superman movie, Superman flies around Earth so fast that it begins turning in the opposite direction. This somehow turns back time [... ] How much energy would someone flying around the Earth have to exert in order to reverse the Earth's rotation?"''
<div align="right">—Aidan Blake</div>
|Superman wasn't pushing the Earth. He was flying {{w|Superluminal motion|superluminally}} and was thus travelling back through time.
|-
|''"How fast would you have to go in your car to run a red light claiming that it appeared green to you due to the Doppler Effect?"''
<div align="right">—Yitzi Turniansky</div>
|The {{w|Doppler Effect}} is when waves (such as light or sound) change based on movement or position. You would need to go about one sixth of the {{w|speed of light}}.
|-
|''"What would happen if you opened a portal between Boston (sea level) and Mexico City (elev. 8000+ feet)?"''
<div align="right">—Jake G.</div>
|There would be winds of 440 mph (708 km/h) sucking Boston into Mexico City.
|-
|''"When my wife and I started dating she invited me over for dinner at one time. Her kitchen had something called Bauhaus chairs, which are full of holes, approx 5-6 millimeters in diameter in both back and seat. During this lovely dinner I was forced to liberate a small portion of wind and was relieved that I managed to do so very discretely. Only to find that the chair I sat on converted the successful silence into a perfect, and loud, flute note. We were both (luckily) amazed and surprised and I have often wondered what the odds are for something like that happening. We kept the chairs for five years but despite laborious attempts it couldn't be reproduced."''
<div align="right">—R. D.</div>
|This... isn’t actually a question, but thank you for sharing!
|-
|[[File:Mariana Trench Explosion.png|100px]]
|'''{{what if|15|Mariana Trench Explosion}}'''
|''"What if you exploded a nuclear bomb (say, the Tsar Bomba) at the bottom of the Marianas Trench?"''
<div align="right">—Evin Sellin</div>
|It would warm a small patch of the ocean and not do much. With a bigger bomb, it could destroy the world.
|{{blog|15|2012|10|09}}
|
|
|-
| rowspan="6" |[[File:Today's topic- Lightning.png|100px]]
| rowspan="6" |'''{{what if|16|Today's topic: Lightning}}'''
|''"How dangerous is it to be in a pool during a thunderstorm?"''
<div align="right">—Jay Gengelbach</div>
|Pretty dangerous, as if the pool was hit, 20,000 amps of electricity from the lightning bolt would spread across the surface and shock you. Randall recommends that one should stay at least 12 meters away from a pool during a thunderstorm.
| rowspan="6"{{blog|16|2012|10|16}}
| rowspan="6"{{book|1|19|Lightning}}
| rowspan="6" |
|-
|''"What would happen if you were taking a shower or standing under a waterfall when you were struck by lightning?"''
<div align="right">—Same3Chords</div>
|The droplets of water wouldn’t be dangerous, but a tub of water or any puddle you stand in ''will'' be dangerous.
|-
|''"What would happen if you were in a boat, plane or a submarine that got hit by lightning?"''
<div align="right">—Soobnauce</div>
|A boat would be as safe as a car if it had a cabin and lightning protection, while a submarine would be completely safe. The plane was not mentioned.
|-
|''"What if you were changing the light at the top of a radio tower and lightning struck? Or what if you were doing a backflip? Or standing in a graphite field? Or looking straight up at the bolt?"''
<div align="right">—Danny Wedul</div>
|You would get shocked normally if you were on a radio tower, doing a backflip, or looking straight up. These all don’t matter much. Randall doesn’t know what a graphite field is and chose not to answer that part of the question.
|-
|''"What would happen if lightning struck a bullet in midair?"''
<div align="right">—Timothy Campbell</div>
|The bullet might be heated a little bit, but it’s travelling too fast to have any impact.
|-
|''"What if you were flashing your BIOS during a thunderstorm and you got hit by lightning?"''
<div align="right">—NJSG</div>
|It would bring you to “Microsoft BOB®”, “Gateway 2000 Edition”.
|-
|[[File:Green Cows.png|100px]]
|'''{{what if|17|Green Cows}}'''
|''"If cows could photosynthesize, how much less food would they need?"''
<div align="right">—Anonymous</div>
|They would need 4% less food. There simply isn't enough area on the cow for photosynthesis to provide all its energy requirements. Plus, it’d still need food for nutrients just like real plants.
|{{blog|17|2012|10|23}}
|
|
|-
|[[File:BB Gun.png|100px]]
|'''{{what if|18|BB Gun}}'''
|''"In Armageddon, a NASA guy comments that a plan to shoot a laser at the asteroid is like “shooting a b.b. gun at a freight train.” What would it take to stop an out-of-control freight train using only b.b. guns?"''
<div align="right">—Charles James O’Keefe</div>
|100,000 shooters distributed over 2 kilometers of track, each firing a few dozen rounds as the train comes near them.
|{{blog|18|2012|10|30}}
|
|
|-
|[[File:Tie Vote.png|100px]]
|'''{{what if|19|Tie Vote}}'''
|''"What if there's LITERALLY a tie?"''
<div align="right">—[https://twitter.com/fivethirtyeight/status/154434288287363072 Nate Silver]</div>
|In the case of each candidate getting the exact same amount of votes on Election Day, most states would randomly pick one, whether it be through tossing a coin, drawing a name or straws. The chances of this happening in 9 battleground states would be about equal to the elector drawing a name from a hat, then being smashed by a bale of cocaine by drug smugglers and obliterated by a meteorite impact while being swept away in a tornado.
|{{blog|19|2012|11|06}}
|
|
|-
|[[File:Diamond.png|100px]]
|'''{{what if|20|Diamond}}'''
|''"If a meteor made out of diamond and 100 feet in diameter was traveling at the speed of light and hit the earth, what would happen to it?"''
<div align="right">—Aidan Smith, Age 8, via his father Jeff</div>
|Nothing made of matter can travel at the speed of light, but at the closest speed observed (99.99999999999999999999951% of the speed of light, the speed of the Oh My God Particle), the Earth would explode with enough force to obliterate the entire solar system.
|{{blog|20|2012|11|13}}
|
|
|-
|[[File:Machine Gun Jetpack.png|100px]]
|'''{{what if|21|Machine Gun Jetpack}}'''
|''"Is it possible to build a jetpack using downward firing machine guns?"''
<div align="right">—Rob B</div>
|You'd need a Russian 30 mm rotary cannon to do it optimally, and the excessive force would definitely hurt you. If you braced the rider, created an aerodynamic craft strong enough to survive the acceleration, and cooled the craft, you'd be able to jump mountains.
|{{blog|21|2012|11|20}}
|{{book|1|14}}
|
|-
|[[File:Cost of Pennies.png|100px]]
|'''{{what if|22|Cost of Pennies}}'''
|''"If you carry a penny in your coin tray, how long would it take for that penny to cost you more than a cent in extra gas?"''
<div align="right">—Leto Atreides</div>
|140,000 miles if gas was the only cost involved. The exercise of picking up the penny can prolong your lifespan, but you've wasted valuable seconds reading this article.
|{{blog|22|2012|11|27}}
|
|
|-
| rowspan="7" |[[File:Short Answer Section II.png|100px]]
| rowspan="7" |'''{{what if|23|Short Answer Section II}}'''
|''"If my printer could literally print out money, would it have that big an effect on the world?"''
<div align="right">—Derek O’Brien</div>
| You'd make 200 million dollars a year, so no.
| rowspan="7"{{blog|23|2012|12|04}}
| rowspan="7"{{book|1|18|Short-Answer Section}}
| rowspan="7" |
|-
|''"What would happen if you exploded a nuclear bomb in the eye of a hurricane? Would the storm cell be immediately vaporized?"''
<div align="right">—Rupert Bainbridge (and hundreds of others)</div>
|No. The National Oceanic and Atmospheric Administration has [https://www.aoml.noaa.gov/hrd-faq/#hurricane-mitigation:~:text=Stop%20a%20Hurricane%3F-,Nuclear%20Weapons,-Adding%20Hygroscopic%20Particles has published a response] explaining why it wouldn't work.
|-
|''"If everyone put little turbine generators on the downspouts of their houses and businesses, how much power would we generate? Would we ever generate enough power to offset the cost of the generators?"''
<div align="right">—Damien</div>
|If it's very rainy, it would generate 800 watts of power, which isn't enough to offset the cost of the generators.
|-
|''"Using only pronounceable letter combinations, how long would names have to be to give each star in the universe a unique one word name?"''
<div align="right">—Seamus Johnson</div>
|About 24 characters.
|-
|''"I bike to class sometimes. It's annoying biking in the wintertime, because it's so cold. How fast would I have to bike for my skin to warm up the way a spacecraft heats up during reentry?"''
<div align="right">—David Nai</div>
|You'd have to bike at 200 m/s, but you'd fry alive from overexerting your body.
|-
|''"How much physical space does the internet take up?"''
<div align="right">—Max L</div>
|Using humanity's total produced storage space from the last few years as an upper bound, and assuming 3.5" drives, the Internet is less than the size of an oil tank.
|-
|''"What if you strapped C4 to a boomerang? Could this be an effective weapon, or would it be as stupid as it sounds?"''
<div align="right">—Chad Macziewski</div>
|Aerodynamics aside, you'd have a bomb that comes back if you miss.
|-
|[[File:Model Rockets.png|100px]]
|'''{{what if|24|Model Rockets}}'''
|''"How many model rocket engines would it take to launch a real rocket into space?"''
<div align="right">—Greg Schock, PA</div>
|It would take about 65,000, but they’d have to be layered in a cone shape with about 30 stages so the vehicle has thrust for long enough. It could carry 60 kg, much of that spent on all the parts of the rocket that aren't the engine.
|{{blog|24|2012|12|11}}
|
|
|-
|[[File:Three Wise Men.png|100px]]
|'''{{what if|25|Three Wise Men}}'''
|''"The story of the three wise men got me wondering: What if you did walk towards a star at a fixed speed? What path would you trace on the Earth? Does it converge to a fixed cycle?"''
<div align="right">—N. Murdoch</div>
|No, but it would make some really cool patterns due to various factors such as the Earth’s rotation and its position changing in its orbit around the Sun.
|{{blog|25|2012|12|18}}
|
|
|-
|[[File:Leap Seconds.png|100px]]
|'''{{what if|26|Leap Seconds}}'''
|''"Every now and then we have to insert a leap second because the Earth’s rotation is slowing down. Could we speed up Earth’s rotation, so that we do not need Leap Seconds?"''
<div align="right">—Anton (Berlin, Germany)</div>
|With 50 000 planets B-612 hitting the Earth each second and a few assumptions, we could stop worrying about leap seconds.
|{{blog|26|2012|12|31|6d late}}
|
|
|-
|[[File:Death Rates.png|100px]]
|'''{{what if|27|Death Rates}}'''
|''"If one randomly chosen extra person were to die each second somewhere on Earth, what impact would it have on the world population?"''
<div align="right">—Guy Petzall</div>
|{{notice|Too vague. How much slower, how dramatic?}}Not much, the world just has too many people. Population would still grow, just a bit slower. Although, the impacts ''would'' be pretty dramatic in some ways.
|{{blog|27|2013|01|08|1d late}}
|
|
|-
|[[File:Steak Drop.png|100px]]
|'''{{what if|28|Steak Drop}}'''
|''"From what height would you need to drop a steak for it to be cooked when it hit the ground?"''
<div align="right">—Alex Lahey</div>
|From the very edge of the atmosphere, but even in that case it might not be fully cooked.
|{{blog|28|2013|01|15}}
|{{book|1|23}}
|
|-
|[[File:Spent Fuel Pool.png|100px]]
|'''{{what if|29|Spent Fuel Pool}}'''
|''"What if I took a swim in a typical spent nuclear fuel pool? Would I need to dive to actually experience a fatal amount of radiation? How long could I stay safely at the surface?"''
<div align="right">—Jonathan Bastien-Filiatrault</div>
|As long as you don't touch strange things and you don't swim too close to the fuel rods, it would be just like a regular pool. Except for the fact you would never make it to the pool, as the guards would notice and shoot you to death.
|{{blog|29|2013|01|22}}
|{{book|1|3}}
|{{book|8|2024|04|02|EFRUL7vKdU8|What if you swam in a nuclear storage pool?}}
|-
|[[File:Interplanetary Cessna.png|100px]]
|'''{{what if|30|Interplanetary Cessna}}'''
|''"What would happen if you tried to fly a normal Earth airplane above different Solar System bodies?"''
<div align="right">—Glen Chiacchieri</div>
|It would be difficult to fly on Mars, so you would crash. The gas giants also have this problem, and you would freeze and tumble. Titan and Venus are the best bets, but Titan is cold and Venus is full of sulfuric acid.
|{{blog|30|2013|01|29}}
|{{book|1|30}}
|
|-
|[[File:FedEx Bandwidth.png|100px]]
|'''{{what if|31|FedEx Bandwidth}}'''
|''"When - if ever - will the bandwidth of the Internet surpass that of FedEx?"''
<div align="right">—Johan Öbrink</div>
|Probably never, unless the Internet's transfer rate grows faster than storage rates, the Internet won't surpass an army of FedEx trucks. However, the ping times would be ''absurd''.
|{{blog|31|2013|02|05}}
|{{book|1|44}}
|
|-
|[[File:Hubble.png|100px]]
|'''{{what if|32|Hubble}}'''
|''"If the Hubble telescope were aimed at the Earth, how detailed would the images be?"''
<div align="right">—Kyle Rankin</div>
|Very blurry because Hubble isn't able to rotate fast enough to track it on the surface of the earth. Hubble is the wrong tool for the job, you're thinking of a spy satellite.
|{{blog|32|2013|02|12}}
|
|{{book|1|2023|11|29|2LSyizrk8-0|What if we aimed the Hubble Telescope at Earth?}}
|-
|[[File:Ships.png|100px]]
|'''{{what if|33|Ships}}'''
|''"How much would the sea level fall if every ship were removed all at once from the Earth's waters?"''
<div align="right">—Michael Toje</div>
|Less than a human hair's width.
|{{blog|33|2013|02|19}}
|
|
|-
|[[File:what if? Twitter.png|100px]]
|'''{{what if|34|Twitter}}'''
|''"How many unique English tweets are possible? How long would it take for the population of the world to read them all out loud?"''
<div align="right">—Eric H., Hopatcong, NJ</div>
|Since there are 2 * 10^46 meaningful English tweets, reading them all would take 10,000 "eternal years", with an eternal day being the length of time needed to wear down a mountain if a bird scraped 1 grain every thousand years.
|{{blog|34|2013|02|26}}
|{{book|1|50}}
|
|-
|[[File:Hair Dryer.png|100px]]
|'''{{what if|35|Hair Dryer}}'''
|''"What would happen if a hair dryer with continuous power was turned on and put in an airtight 1x1x1 meter box?"''
<div align="right">—Nathan Terrell</div>
|The box would heat until the ground starts melting, and going further, it would eventually create updrafts and bounce around everywhere. Turning it off and on again would launch it out of the sky in glowing fury.
|{{blog|35|2013|03|05}}
|{{book|1|11}}
|
|-
|[[File:Cornstarch.png|100px]]
|'''{{what if|36|Cornstarch}}'''
|''"How much cornstarch can I rinse down the drain before unpleasant things start to happen?"''
<div align="right">—Anna R., Fort Wayne, IN</div>
|It depends what you consider unpleasant. Your sink will clog and your house will flood with oobleck, but if you really really like cornstarch then nothing unpleasant will happen.
|{{blog|36|2013|03|12}}
|
|
|-
|[[File:Supersonic Stereo.png|100px]]
|'''{{what if|37|Supersonic Stereo}}'''
|''"What if you somehow managed to make a stereo travel at twice the speed of sound, would it sound backwards to someone who was just casually sitting somewhere as it flies by?"''
<div align="right">—Tim Currie</div>
|Assuming the stereo is indestructible, yes. Although you’d only get it supersonic for less than a second, and the music would be heavily compressed after the sonic boom.
|{{blog|37|2013|03|19}}
|
|
|-
|[[File:what if? Voyager.png|100px]]
|'''{{what if|38|Voyager}}'''
|''"With today's technology, would it be possible to launch an unmanned mission to retrieve Voyager I?"''
<div align="right">—Elliot Bennett</div>
|We could possibly spend a ton of money and resources to get a probe to Voyager. Getting it back is another story.
|{{blog|38|2013|03|26}}
|
|
|-
|[[File:Hockey Puck.png|100px]]
|'''{{what if|39|Hockey Puck}}'''
|''"How hard would a puck have to be shot to be able to knock the goalie himself backwards into the net?"''
<div align="right">—Tom</div>
|It doesn’t really work like that: at high enough speeds to knock the goalie back they’d both just splatter.
|{{blog|39|2013|04|02}}
|{{book|1|24}}
|
|-
|[[File:Pressure Cooker.png|100px]]
|'''{{what if|40|Pressure Cooker}}'''
|''"Am I right to be afraid of pressure cookers? What's the worst thing that can happen if you misuse a pressure cooker in an ordinary kitchen?"''
<div align="right">—Delphine Lourtau</div>
|Ordinarily, the worst that can happen is the lid blowing off and superheated liquid spraying everywhere, but you can use one to make {{w|Dioxygen difluoride}}, which is much worse.
|{{blog|40|2013|04|9}}
|
|
|-
|[[File:Go West.png|100px]]
|'''{{what if|41|Go West}}'''
|''"If everybody in the US drove west, could we temporarily halt continental drift?"''
<div align="right">—Derek</div>
|Not even by a bit, because the North American plate is just too heavy for people to make an impact in its movement.
|{{blog|41|2013|04|16}}
|
|
|-
|[[File:Longest Sunset.png|100px]]
|'''{{what if|42|Longest Sunset}}'''
|''"What is the longest possible sunset you can experience while driving, assuming we are obeying the speed limit and driving on paved roads?"''
<div align="right">—Michael Berg</div>
|95 minutes on certain Norewgian and Finnish highways. (A similar concept has been explored in comic [[162: Angular Momentum]].)
|{{blog|42|201304|23}}
|{{book|1|52}}
|
|-
|[[File:Train Loop.png|100px]]
|'''{{what if|43|Train Loop}}'''
|''"Could a high-speed train run through a vertical loop, like a rollercoaster, with the passengers staying comfortable?"''
<div align="right">—Gero Walter</div>
|No, not even if we change the requirements to just the passengers staying alive.
|{{blog|43|2013|04|30}}
|
|
|-
|[[File:High Throw.png|100px]]
|'''{{what if|44|High Throw}}'''
|''"How high can a human throw something?"''
<div align="right">—Irish Dave on the Isle of Man</div>
|Aroldis Chapman could throw a golf ball to a height of sixteen giraffes.
|{{blog|44|2013|05|07}}
|{{book|1|38}}
|
|-
|[[File:ISS Music Video.png|100px]]
|'''{{what if|45|ISS Music Video}}'''
|''"Is [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KaOC9danxNo '''this'''] the most expensive music video ever?"''
<div align="right">—Various Youtube commenters</div>
|No. If the construction cost of the setpiece is how this is measured, then it would be U2's "Last Night on Earth" on a section of Interstate Highway. If not, then it doesn't even come close to Thriller.
|{{blog|45|2013|05|14}}
|
|
|-
|[[File:Bowling Ball.png|100px]]
|'''{{what if|46|Bowling Ball}}'''
|''"I've been told that if the Earth were shrunk down to the size of a bowling ball, it would be smoother than said bowling ball. My question is, what would a bowling ball look like if it were blown up to the size of the Earth?"''
<div align="right">—Seth C.</div>
|The finger holes would collapse and then not much would happen.
|{{blog|46|2013|05|21}}
|
|
|-
|[[File:Alien Astronomers.png|100px]]
|'''{{what if|47|Alien Astronomers}}'''
|''"Let's assume there's life on the the nearest habitable exoplanet and that they have technology comparable to ours. If they looked at our star right now, what would they see?"''
<div align="right">—Chuck H.</div>
|They would see pretty much nothing with regular telescopes. The detection could be possible with radio technology.
|{{blog|47|2013|05|28}}
|{{book|1|28}}
|
|-
|[[File:Sunset on the British Empire.png|100px]]
|'''{{what if|48|Sunset on the British Empire}}'''
|''"When (if ever) did the Sun finally set on the British Empire?"''
<div align="right">—Kurt Amundson</div>
|If the British Empire kept the borders it had when the question was written, it would continue to experience eternal sunshine for many thousands of years until a total eclipse hits the Pitcairn Islands at the right time. (However, in March 2025, Mauritus gains the British Indian Ocean Territory [https://www.mondayeconomist.com/p/british-empire#:~:text=On%20March%2021st%2C%202025%2C%20a,part%20of%20the%20British%20Empire allowing the Sun to finally set on the British Empire].)
|{{blog|48|2013|06|04}}
|{{book|1|60}}
|
|-
|[[File:Sunless Earth.png|100px]]
|'''{{what if|49|Sunless Earth}}'''
|''"What would happen to the Earth if the Sun suddenly switched off?"''
<div align="right">—Many, many readers</div>
|We would see a variety of benefits across our lives such as the elimination of time zones, more reliable satellites, easier astronomy, and safer wild parsnip, but the downside is we would all freeze and die.
|{{blog|49|2013|06|11}}
|{{book|1|57}}
|
|-
|[[File:Extreme Boating.png|100px]]
|'''{{what if|50|Extreme Boating}}'''
|''"What would it be like to navigate a rowboat through a lake of mercury? What about bromine? Liquid gallium? Liquid tungsten? Liquid nitrogen? Liquid helium?"''
<div align="right">—Nicholas Aron</div>
|It would be difficult to row the boat on mercury because it's so dense. Bromine smells terrible and is highly toxic. Gallium would dissolve an aluminium boat. Liquid tungsten would incinerate you instantly. Liquid nitrogen would kill you either by suffocation or hypothermia. Liquid helium's superfluid properties will sink your boat but at least you will hear the Third Sound as you die.
|{{blog|50|2013|06|18}}
|
|
|-
|[[File:Free Fall.png|100px]]
|'''{{what if|51|Free Fall}}'''
|''"What place on Earth would allow you to freefall the longest by jumping off it? What about using a squirrel suit?"''
<div align="right">—Dhash Shrivathsa</div>
|It takes 26 seconds to fall from the top of {{w|Mount Thor}} into a pit of cotton candy at the bottom of the cliff. The record for the longest wingsuit glide is enough time for Joey Chestnut and Takeru Kobayashi to eat 45 hot dogs.
|{{blog|51|2013|06|25}}
|{{book|1|45}}
|
|-
|[[File:Bouncy Balls.png|100px]]
|'''{{what if|52|Bouncy Balls}}'''
|''"What if one were to drop 3,000 bouncy balls from a seven story parking structure onto a person walking on the sidewalk below? Should the person survive, what would be the number of bouncy balls needed to kill them? What injuries would occur and what would the associated crimes be?"''
<div align="right">—Ginger Bread</div>
|Around 3,000,000 balls. Death would occur and you would be charged with manslaughter or murder.
|{{blog|52|2013|07|02}}
|
|
|-
|[[File:Drain the Oceans.png|100px]]
|'''{{what if|53|Drain the Oceans}}'''
|''"How quickly would the ocean's drain if a circular portal 10 meters in radius leading into space was created at the bottom of Challenger Deep, the deepest spot in the ocean? How would the Earth change as the water is being drained?"''
<div align="right">—Ted M.</div>
|We hebben een serieus probleem! As the sea recedes, the Dutch are able to take over the world because they no longer have to prevent the Netherlands from flooding. Due to the nature of bathymetry, many shallow seas and deep trenches will still remain as the basins get cut off from the drain.
|{{blog|53|2013|07|09}}
|{{book|1|48}}
|{{book|12|2024|06|18|Jpy55EgMQgY|What if you drained the oceans?}}
|-
|[[File:Drain the Oceans Part II.png|100px]]
|'''{{what if|54|Drain the Oceans: Part II}}'''
|''"Supposing you did '''{{what if|53|Drain the Oceans}}''', and dumped the water on top of the Curiosity rover, how would Mars change as the water accumulated?"''
<div align="right">—Iain</div>
|The water will make odd-shaped coastlines as it fills the {{w|Valles Marineris}}, and when it is done, the Netherlands will colonize Mars through the portal.
|{{blog|54|2013|07|16}}
|{{book|1|49}}
|{{book|14|2024|08|13|FkUNHhVbQ1Q|What if we teleported the oceans to Mars?}}
|-
|[[File:Random Sneeze Call.png|100px]]
|'''{{what if|55|Random Sneeze Call}}'''
|''"If you call a random phone number and say "God bless you", what are the chances that the person who answers just sneezed? On average, not just in spring or fall."''
<div align="right">—Mimi</div>
|The chances are 1 in 40000, but you might want to be careful, as there's also a 1 in a billion chance that the person you called just murdered someone.
|{{blog|55|2013|07|23}}
|{{book|1|53}}
|
|-
|[[File:Restraining an Airplane.png|100px]]
|'''{{what if|56|Restraining an Airplane}}'''
|''"If you wanted to anchor an airplane into the ground so it wouldn't be able to take off, what would the rope have to be made out of?"''
<div align="right">—Connor Childerhose</div>
|A steel cable an inch thick, the lines of an army of fishermen, or the hair of 20 people. Hair has the highest tensile strength of any material in your body.
|{{blog|56|2013|07|30}}
|
|
|-
|[[File:Dropping a Mountain.png|100px]]
|'''{{what if|57|Dropping a Mountain}}'''
|''"What if a huge mountain—Denali, say—had the bottom inch of its base disappear? What would happen from the impact of the mountain falling 1 inch? What about 1 foot? What if the mountain's base were raised to the present height of the summit, and then the whole thing were allowed to drop to the earth?"''
<div align="right">—John-Clark Levin</div>
|An inch or a foot wouldn't do much, it would only feel like a 3.5 magnitude earthquake. Dropped from its own height, Denali would cause a magnitude 7 earthquake and crush coal to diamonds. Dropped from space, that's just a large asteroid and it would cause an impact winter.
|{{blog|57|2013|08|06}}
|
|
|-
| rowspan="3" |[[File:Orbital Speed.png|100px]]
| rowspan="3" |'''{{what if|58|Orbital Speed}}'''
|''"What if a spacecraft slowed down on re-entry to just a few miles per hour using rocket boosters like the Mars-sky-crane? Would it negate the need for a heat shield?"''
<div align="right">—Brian</div>
| rowspan="3" |No, because you need to go 8 km/s to stay in orbit, and it would take impossible amounts of fuel to slow down.
| rowspan="3"{{blog|58|2013|08|12|1d early}}
| rowspan="3"{{book|1|43}}
| rowspan="3" |
|-
|''"Is it possible for a spacecraft to control its reentry in such a way that it avoids the atmospheric compression and thus would not require the expensive (and relatively fragile) heat shield on the outside?"''
<div align="right">—Christopher Mallow</div>
|-
|''"Could a (small) rocket (with payload) be lifted to a high point in the atmosphere where it would only need a small rocket to get to escape velocity?"''
<div align="right">—Kenny Van de Maele</div>
|-
|[[File:Updating a Printed Wikipedia.png|100px]]
|'''{{what if|59|Updating a Printed Wikipedia}}'''
|''"If you had a printed version of the whole of (say, the English) Wikipedia, how many printers would you need in order to keep up with the changes made to the live version?"''
<div align="right">—Susanne Könings</div>
|6, but the ink would cost much more than you could afford, and filing the edits would be a nightmare.
|{{blog|59|2013|08|20|1d late}}
|{{book|1|58}}
|{{book|13|2024|7|9|RgBYohJ7mIk|What if you tried to print Wikipedia?}}
|-
|[[File:Signs of Life.png|100px]]
|'''{{what if|60|Signs of Life}}'''
|''"If you could teleport to a random place of the surface of the Earth, what are the odds that you'll see signs of intelligent life?"''
<div align="right">—Borislav Stanimirov</div>
|70% of the time you would end up in the ocean, while most of the rest will be somewhere uninhabited. But if it’s night, you can see satellites just by looking up.
|{{blog|60|2013|08|27}}
|
|
|-
|[[File:Speed Bump.png|100px]]
|'''{{what if|61|Speed Bump}}'''
|''"How fast can you hit a speed bump while driving and live?"''
<div align="right">—Myrlin Barber</div>
|At highway speeds, you could wreck your tires and suspension. Around 150-300 mph, the aerodynamics of a typical sedan will cause it to flip and crash before even reaching the speed bump. At 90% the speed of light, you could face a billion-dollar speeding ticket.
|{{blog|61|2013|09|03}}
|{{book|1|41}}
|
|-
|[[File:Falling With Helium.png|100px]]
|'''{{what if|62|Falling With Helium}}'''
|''"What if I jumped out of an airplane with a couple of tanks of helium and one huge, un-inflated balloon? Then, while falling, I release the helium and fill the balloon. How long of a fall would I need in order for the balloon to slow me enough that I could land safely?"''
<div align="right">—Colin Rowe</div>
|{{notice|Too short}}2500 cubic feet, although a balloon that big could just be used as a parachute, no helium needed.
|{{blog|62|2013|09|10}}
|{{book|1|34}}
|
|-
|[[File:Google's Datacenters on Punch Cards.png|100px]]
|'''{{what if|63|Google's Datacenters on Punch Cards}}'''
|''"If all digital data were stored on punch cards, how big would Google's data warehouse be?"''
<div align="right">—James Zetlin</div>
|{{notice|How thick would the layer be? Explain}}Roughly an 4.5 km thick layer, enough to bury the world many times.
|{{blog|63|2013|09|17}}
|
|
|-
|[[File:Rising Steadily.png|100px]]
|'''{{what if|64|Rising Steadily}}'''
|''"If you suddenly began rising steadily at one foot per second, how exactly would you die? Would you freeze or suffocate first? Or something else?"''
<div align="right">—Rebecca B</div>
|{{notice|Too short}}Assuming you had a good coat, you would survive to the death zone (around 8000 meters up, where oxygen concentration become too low to breathe) and die.
|{{blog|64|2013|09|24}}
|{{book|1|15}}
|
|-
|[[File:Twitter Timeline Height.png|100px]]
|'''{{what if|65|Twitter Timeline Height}}'''
|''"If our Twitter timelines (tweets by the people we follow) actually extended off the screen in both directions, how tall would they be?"''
<div align="right">—Anonymous</div>
|
|{{blog|65|2013|10|01}}
|
|
|-
|[[File:500 MPH.png|100px]]
|'''{{what if|66|500 MPH}}'''
|''"If winds reached 500 mph, would it pick up a human?"''
<div align="right">—Grey Flynn, age 7, Stoneham, MA</div>
|
|{{blog|66|2013|10|08}}
|
|
|-
|[[File:Expanding Earth.png|100px]]
|'''{{what if|67|Expanding Earth}}'''
|''"How long would it take for people to notice their weight gain if the mean radius of the world expanded by 1cm every second? (Assuming the average composition of rock were maintained.)"''
<div align="right">—Dennis O’Donnell</div>
|{{notice|Too short}}About a year, but, after several decades, the pressure would increase so much the air would become toxic. After a few centuries, the Moon would fall into the Roche limit and crumble into rings.
|{{blog|67|2013|10|15}}
|{{book|1|55}}
|{{book|17|2024|10|15|-1-ldW4kpLM|What if Earth grew 1cm every second?}}
|-
|[[File:Little Planet.png|100px]]
|'''{{what if|68|Little Planet}}'''
|''"If an asteroid was very small but supermassive, could you really live on it like the Little Prince?"''
<div align="right">—Samantha Harper</div>
|{{notice|Too short}}Yes, but it would be very inconvenient due to differing gravity and the possibility of entering orbit.
|{{blog|68|2013|10|22}}
|{{book|1|22}}
|
|-
|[[File:Facebook of the Dead.png|100px]]
|'''{{what if|69|Facebook of the Dead}}'''
|''"When, if ever, will Facebook contain more profiles of dead people than of living ones?"''
<div align="right">—Emily Dunham</div>
|{{notice|Too short}}A decade or a century, depending on if Facebook would still be popular.
|{{blog|69|2013|10|29}}
|{{book|1|59}}
|
|-
|[[File:The Constant Groundskeeper.png|100px]]
|'''{{what if|70|The Constant Groundskeeper}}'''
|''"How big of a lawn would you have to have so that when you finished mowing you'd need to start over because the grass has grown?"''
<div align="right">—Nick Nelson</div>
|
|{{blog|70|2013|11|05}}
|
|
|-
|[[File:Stirring Tea.png|100px]]
|'''{{what if|71|Stirring Tea}}'''
|''"I was absentmindedly stirring a cup of hot tea, when I got to thinking, "aren't I actually adding kinetic energy into this cup?" I know that stirring does help to cool down the tea, but what if I were to stir it faster? Would I be able to boil a cup of water by stirring?"''
<div align="right">—Will Evans</div>
|
|{{blog|71|2013|11|12}}
|{{book|1|61}}
|
|-
|[[File:Loneliest Human.png|100px]]
|'''{{what if|72|Loneliest Human}}'''
|''"What is the furthest one human being has ever been from every other living person? Were they lonely?"''
<div align="right">—Bryan J. McCarter</div>
|{{notice|Too short}}Possibly the Apollo Astronauts but they definitely weren't lonely.
|{{blog|72|2013|11|19}}
|{{book|1|63}}
|
|-
|[[File:Lethal Neutrinos.png|100px]]
|'''{{what if|73|Lethal Neutrinos}}'''
|''"How close would you have to be to a supernova to get a lethal dose of neutrino radiation?"''
<div align="right">—(Overheard in a physics department)</div>
|{{notice|Too short}}About 2.3 AU.
|{{blog|73|2013|11|26}}
|{{book|1|39}}
|
|-
|[[File:Soda Planet.png|100px]]
|'''{{what if|74|Soda Planet}}'''
|''"How much of the Earth's currently-existing water has ever been turned into a soft drink at some point in its history?"''
<div align="right">—Brian Roelofs</div>
|{{notice|Too short}}0.0000005%.
|{{blog|74|2013|12|03}}
|
|
|-
|[[File:Phone Keypad.png|100px]]
|'''{{what if|75|Phone Keypad}}'''
|''"I use one of those old phones where you type with numbers—for example, to type "Y", you press 9 three times. Some words have consecutive letters on the same number. When they do, you have to pause between letters, making those words annoying to type. What English word has the most consecutive letters on the same key?"''
<div align="right">—Stewart Bishop</div>
|{{notice|Explain how we got to this one}}"Nonmonogamous".
|{{blog|75|2013|12|10}}
|
|
|-
|[[File:Reading Every Book.png|100px]]
|'''{{what if|76|Reading Every Book}}'''
|''"At what point in human history were there too many (English) books to be able to read them all in one lifetime?"''
<div align="right">—Gregory Willmot</div>
|{{notice|Too short}}Depends, as many were burned.
|{{blog|76|2013|12|17}}
|{{book|2|10}}
|
|-
|[[File:Growth Rate.png|100px]]
|'''{{what if|77|Growth Rate}}'''
|''"What height would humans reach if we kept growing through our whole development period (i.e. till late teens/early twenties) at the same pace as we do during our first month?"''
<div align="right">—Maria</div>
|{{notice|Too short}}10 to 12 meters.
|{{blog|77|2013|12|31|7d late}}
|
|
|-
|[[File:T-rex Calories.png|100px]]
|'''{{what if|78|T-rex Calories}}'''
|''"If a T-rex were released in New York City, how many humans/day would it need to consume to get its needed calorie intake?"''
<div align="right">—Tony Schmitz</div>
|One large-sized one or two small-sized ones per day.
|{{blog|78|2014|01|07}}
|{{book|2|7}}
|
|-
|[[File:Lake Tea.png|100px]]
|'''{{what if|79|Lake Tea}}'''
|''"What if we were to dump all the tea in the world into the Great Lakes? How strong, compared to a regular cup of tea, would the lake tea be?"''
<div align="right">—Alex Burman</div>
|{{notice|Why?}}Not strong enough to make a difference.
|{{blog|79|2014|01|14}}
|
|
|-
|[[File:Pile of Viruses.png|100px]]
|'''{{what if|80|Pile of Viruses}}'''
|''"What if every virus in the world were collected into one area? How much volume would they take up and what would they look like?"''
<div align="right">—Dave</div>
|
|{{blog|80|2014|01|21}}
|
|
|-
|[[File:Catch!.png|100px]]
|'''{{what if|81|Catch!}}'''
|''"Is there any way to fire a gun so that the bullet flies through the air and can then be safely caught by hand? e.g. shooter is at sea level and catcher is up a mountain at the extreme range of the gun."''
<div align="right">—Ed Hui, London</div>
|
|{{blog|81|2014|01|28}}
|{{book|2|12}}
|
|-
|[[File:Hitting a comet.png|100px]]
|'''{{what if|82|Hitting a comet}}'''
|''"Astrophysicists are always saying things like "This mission to this comet is equivalent to throwing a baseball from New York and hitting a particular window in San Francisco." Are they really equivalent?"''
<div align="right">—Tom Foster</div>
|{{notice|Too short}}The baseball is much harder.
|{{blog|82|2014|02|05|1d late}}
|
|
|-
|[[File:Star Sand.png|100px]]
|'''{{what if|83|Star Sand}}'''
|''"If you made a beach using grains the proportionate size of the stars in the Milky Way, what would that beach look like?"''
<div align="right">—Jeff Wartes</div>
|{{notice|Too short}}It would be a bunch of boulders with some patches of sand.
|{{blog|83|2014|02|11|1d early}}
|{{book|2|16}}
|
|-
|[[File:Paint the Earth.png|100px]]
|'''{{what if|84|Paint the Earth}}'''
|''"Has humanity produced enough paint to cover the entire land area of the Earth?"''
<div align="right">—Josh (Bolton, MA)</div>
|No, only about as much as the land area of Russia.
|{{blog|84|2014|02|18}}
|{{book|2|14}}
|
|-
|[[File:Rocket Golf.png|100px]]
|'''{{what if|85|Rocket Golf}}'''
|''"Assuming that you have a spaceship in orbit around the Earth, could you propel your ship to speeds exceeding escape velocity by hitting golf balls in the other direction? If so, how many golf balls would be required to reach the Moon?"''
<div align="right">—Dan (Kanata, Ontario)</div>
|{{notice|"If you cheat"?}}If you cheat, a bag a little smaller than the Moon.
|{{blog|85|2014|02|25}}
|
|
|-
|[[File:Far-Traveling Objects.png|100px]]
|'''{{what if|86|Far-Traveling Objects}}'''
|''"In terms of human-made objects, has Voyager 1 travelled the farthest distance? It's certainly the farthest from Earth we know about. But what about the edge of ultracentrifuges, or generator turbines that have been running for years, for example?"''
<div align="right">—Matt Russell</div>
|{{notice|How much? Explain}}The Mariner 1 has traveled much farther than Voyager 1.
|{{blog|86|2014|03|04}}
|
|
|-
|[[File:Enforced by Radar.png|100px]]
|'''{{what if|87|Enforced by Radar}}'''
|''"I've occasionally seen "radar enforced" on speed limit signs, and I can't help but ask: How intense would radio waves have to be to stop a car from going over the speed limit, and what would happen if this were attempted?"''
<div align="right">—Joausc</div>
|Intense enough to cause a medium sized nuclear explosion. Better to just carry a sign.
|{{blog|87|2014|03|11}}
|
|
|-
|[[File:Soda Sequestration.png|100px]]
|'''{{what if|88|Soda Sequestration}}'''
|''"How much CO2 is contained in the world's stock of bottled fizzy drinks? How much soda would be needed to bring atmospheric CO2 back to preindustrial levels?"''
<div align="right">—Brandon Seah</div>
|Enough soda to cover Earth with ten layers of cans.
|{{blog|88|2014|03|18}}
|
|
|-
|[[File:Tungsten Countertop.png|100px]]
|'''{{what if|89|Tungsten Countertop}}'''
|''"How far would a tungsten countertop descend if I dropped it into the Sun?"''
<div align="right">—Michael Leuchtenburg</div>
|{{notice|Too short}}It would be vapourized before it got close to the Sun.
|{{blog|89|2014|03|25}}
|
|
|-
|[[File:Great Tree, Great Axe.png|100px]]
|'''{{what if|90|Great Tree, Great Axe}}'''
|''"If all the seas were one sea,''
''What a great sea that would be!''
''If all the trees were one tree,''
''What a great tree that would be!''
''If all the men were one man,''
''What a great man that would be!''
''If all the axes were one axe,''
''What a great axe that would be!''
''And if the great man took the great axe,''
''And cut down the great tree,''
''And let if fall into the great sea,''
''What a great splish-splash that would be!''

''... How great would all of these things be?"''
<div align="right">—John Eifert (quoting a ''Mother Goose'' rhyme)</div>
|
|{{blog|90|2014|04|03|2d late}}
|
|
|-
|[[File:Faucet Power.png|100px]]
|'''{{what if|91|Faucet Power}}'''
|''"I just moved into a new apartment. It includes hot water but I have to pay the electric bill. So being a person on a budget ... what's the best way to use my free faucet to generate electricity?"''
<div align="right">—David Axel Kurtz</div>
|
|{{blog|91|2014|04|08|2d early}}
|
|
|-
|[[File:One-Second Day.png|100px]]
|'''{{what if|92|One-Second Day}}'''
|''"What would happen if the Earth's rotation were sped up until a day only lasted one second?"''
<div align="right">—Dylan</div>
|Everything on Earth would die, but if it happened when the Moon crosses the plane of the Earth, then everything in the Solar System will die (whether there is a difference is debatable).
|{{blog|92|2014|04|15}}
|{{book|2|21}}
|
|-
|[[File:Windshield Raindrops.png|100px]]
|'''{{what if|93|Windshield Raindrops}}'''
|''"At what speed would you have to drive for rain to shatter your windshield?"''
<div align="right">—Daniel Butler</div>
|Fast enough so you would need a speedometer in scientific notation.
|{{blog|93|2014|04|22}}
|
|
|-
|[[File:Billion-Story Building.png|100px]]
|'''{{what if|94|Billion-Story Building}}'''
|''"My daughter — age 4.5 — maintains she wants a billion-story building. It turns out not only is that hard to help her appreciate this size, I am not at all able to explain all of the other difficulties you'd have to overcome."''
<div align="right">—Keira, via Steve Brodovicz, Media, PA </div>
|First of all, it would not stand under its own weight. Also, it would be many times the distance the Earth is from the Moon.
|{{blog|94|2014|04|29}}
|{{book|2|22}}
|
|-
|[[File:Pyramid Energy.png|100px]]
|'''{{what if|95|Pyramid Energy}}'''
|''"What took more energy, the building of the Great Pyramid of Giza or the Apollo Mission? If we could convert the energy to build the Great Pyramid, would it be enough to send a rocket to the Moon and back?"''
<div align="right">—Michael Marmol</div>
|
|{{blog|95|2014|05|06}}
|
|
|-
|[[File:$2 Undecillion Lawsuit.png|100px]]
|'''{{what if|96|$2 Undecillion Lawsuit}}'''
|''"What if Au Bon Pain lost '''[http://www.loweringthebar.net/2014/05/2-undecillion-dollar-demand.html this lawsuit]''' and had to pay the plaintiff $2 undecillion?"''
<div align="right">—Kevin Underhill</div>
|They would not be able to pay off the debt, even if they forced humanity to work as slaves from now until the stars die.
|{{blog|96|2014|05|14|1d late}}
|{{book|2|23}}
|
|-
|[[File:Burning Pollen.png|100px]]
|'''{{what if|97|Burning Pollen}}'''
|''"What if you were to somehow ignite the pollen that floats around in the air in spring? Other than being a really bad idea, what effect would it have?"''
<div align="right">—Jessica Thornburg</div>
|It would just warm up the air by a very tiny bit, but only because it's so thinly spread. Gathering all of it from a large enough region into one pile could equal a nuclear weapon.
|{{blog|97|2014|05|20|1d early}}
|
|
|-
|[[File:Blood Alcohol.png|100px]]
|'''{{what if|98|Blood Alcohol}}'''
|''"Could you get drunk from drinking a drunk person's blood?"''
<div align="right">—Fiona Byrne</div>
|
|{{blog|98|2014|05|27}}
|{{book|2|42}}
|
|-
|[[File:Starlings.png|100px]]
|'''{{what if|99|Starlings}}'''
|''"I was watching '''[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eakKfY5aHmY this video]''' and was wondering: How many birds there would need to be for gravity to take over and force them into a gargantuan ball of birds?"''
<div align="right">—Justin Basinger</div>
|{{notice|Too short}}Enough to make a black hole.
|{{blog|99|2014|06|03}}
|
|
|-
|[[File:WWII Films.png|100px]]
|'''{{what if|100|WWII Films}}'''
|''"Did WWII last longer than the total length of movies about WWII? For that matter, which war has the highest movie time:war time ratio?"''
<div align="right">—Becky</div>
|
|{{blog|100|2014|06|11|1d late}}
|
|
|-
|[[File:Plastic Dinosaurs.png|100px]]
|'''{{what if|101|Plastic Dinosaurs}}'''
|''"As plastic is made from oil and oil is made from dead dinosaurs, how much actual real dinosaur is there in a plastic dinosaur?"''
<div align="right">—Steve Lydford</div>
|
|{{blog|101|2014|06|18}}
|{{book|2|26}}
|
|-
|[[File:Keyboard Power.png|100px]]
|'''{{what if|102|Keyboard Power}}'''
|''"As a writer, I'm wondering what would be the cumulative energy of the hundreds of thousands of keystrokes required to write a novel."''
<div align="right">—Nicholas Dickner</div>
|{{notice|Too short}}Less than enough energy to microwave a burrito.
|{{blog|102|2014|06|25}}
|
|
|-
|[[File:Vanishing Water.png|100px]]
|'''{{what if|103|Vanishing Water}}'''
|''"What would happen if all the bodies of water on Earth magically disappeared?"''
<div align="right">—Joanna Xu</div>
|
|{{blog|103|2014|07|02}}
|
|
|-
|[[File:Global Snow.png|100px]]
|'''{{what if|104|Global Snow}}'''
|''"From my seven-year-old son: How many snowflakes would it take to cover the entire world in six feet of snow? (I don't know why six feet...but that's what he asked.)"''
<div align="right">—Jed Scott</div>
|
|{{blog|104|2014|07|09}}
|{{book|2|59}}
|
|-
|[[File:Cannibalism.png|100px]]
|'''{{what if|105|Cannibalism}}'''
|''"How long could the human race survive on only cannibalism?"''
<div align="right">—Quinn Shaffer</div>
|Depends, if you’re the only one trying out this new diet, maybe a week before you get caught. If the entire world brooms in, about 32 months.
|{{blog|105|2014|07|16}}
|
|
|-
|[[File:Ink Molecules.png|100px]]
|'''{{what if|106|Ink Molecules}}'''
|''"Suppose you were to print, in 12 point text, the numeral 1 using a common cheap ink-jet printer. How many molecules of the ink would be used? At what numerical value would the number printed approximately equal the number of ink molecules used?"''
<div align="right">—David Pelkey</div>
|{{notice|Too short}}An 18-digit number.
|{{blog|106|2014|07|23}}
|
|
|-
|[[File:Letter to Mom.png|100px]]
|'''{{what if|107|Letter to Mom}}'''
|''"What’s the fastest way to get a hand-written letter from my place in Chicago to my mother in New Jersey?"''
<div align="right">—Tim</div>
|
|{{blog|107|2014|07|30}}
|
|
|-
|[[File:Expensive Shoebox.png|100px]]
|'''{{what if|108|Expensive Shoebox}}'''
|''"What would be the most expensive way to fill a size 11 shoebox (e.g. with 64 GB MicroSD cards all full of legally purchased music)?"''
<div align="right">—Rick Lewis</div>
|{{notice|A little too vague.}}There are many options (precious materials, hard drugs, physical file storage, etc.), but they all cap out at ~$2,000,000,000.
|{{blog|108|2014|08|13|7d late}}
|{{book|2|31}}
|
|-
|[[File:Into the Blue.png|100px]]
|'''{{what if|109|Into the Blue}}'''
|''"If I shot an infinitely strong laser beam into the sky at a random point, how much damage would it do?"''
<div align="right">—Garrett D.</div>
|Most of the time it would not hit anything.
|{{blog|109|2014|08|20}}
|
|
|-
|[[File:Walking New York.png|100px]]
|'''{{what if|110|Walking New York}}'''
|''"Could a person walk the entire city of NY in their lifetime? (including inside apartments)"''
<div align="right">—Asif Shamir</div>
|{{notice|Too short}}Yes, in around 30 years, but you'd end up in prison.
|{{blog|110|2014|08|27}}
|
|
|-
|[[File:All the Money.png|100px]]
|'''{{what if|111|All the Money}}'''
|''"People sometimes say "If I had all the money in the world ..." in order to discuss what they would do if they had no financial constraints. I'm curious, though, what would happen if one person had all of the world's money?"''
<div align="right">—Daniel Pino</div>
|The only thing to do would be to make a swimming pool, as it is unlikely anybody else would agree with your claims to all the money and property.
|{{blog|111|2014|09|02|1d early}}
|
|
|-
|[[File:Balloon Car.png|100px]]
|'''{{what if|112|Balloon Car}}'''
|''"My 12-year-old daughter is proposing an interesting project. She is planning to attach a number of helium balloons to a chair, which in turn would be tethered by means of a rope to a Ferrari. Her 13-year-old friend would then drive the Ferrari around, while she sits in the chair enjoying uninterrupted views of the countryside. Leaving aside the legal and insurance difficulties, my daughter is keen to know the maximum speed that she could expect to attain, and how many helium balloons would be required."''
<div align="right">—Phil Rodgers, Cambridge, UK</div>
|A balloon just big enough to lift you would be pushed down by the wind, and a balloon big enough to counteract that would lift up the car along with you. The way to achieve this result is [https://www.youtube.com/results?search_query=parasailing parasailing].
|{{blog|112|2014|09|17|8d late}}
|
|
|-
|[[File:Visit Every State.png|100px]]
|'''{{what if|113|Visit Every State}}'''
|''"How fast could you visit all 50 states?"''
As discussed by Stephen von Worley on [http://www.datapointed.net/2012/08/fastest-route-to-visit-all-fifty-united-states/ ''Data Pointed'']
|In just over 6 hours, in 5 satellite orbits.
|{{blog|113|2014|09|24}}
|
|
|-
|[[File:Antimatter.png|100px]]
|'''{{what if|114|Antimatter}}'''
|''"What if everything was antimatter, EXCEPT Earth?"''
<div align="right">—Sean Gallagher</div>
|{{notice|Too short}}Our existence would end, but much slower than in most other situations, from outer-space gas and meteorites.
|{{blog|114|2014|10|01}}
|
|
|-
|[[File:Into the Sun.png|100px]]
|'''{{what if|115|Into the Sun}}'''
|''"When I was about 8 years old, shoveling snow on a freezing day in Colorado, I wished that I could be instantly transported to the surface of the Sun, just for a nanosecond, then instantly transported back. I figured this would be long enough to warm me up but not long enough to harm me. What would actually happen?"''
<div align="right">—AJ, Kansas City</div>
|You would not be warmed if you went to the surface. The core, on the other hand, would vaporize you.
|{{blog|115|2014|10|08}}
|{{book|2|61}}
|{{book|15|2024|09|03|UXA-Af-JeCE|Could you survive a nanosecond on the Sun?}}
|-
|[[File:No-Rules NASCAR.png|100px]]
|'''{{what if|116|No-Rules NASCAR}}'''
|''"If you stripped away all the rules of car racing and had a contest which was simply to get a human being around a track 200 times as fast as possible, what strategy would win? Let's say the racer has to survive."''
<div align="right">—Hunter Freyer</div>
|If the rider has to survive, 90 minutes is the limit based on human G-force tolerances. If survival is not a priority, you'd build a particle accelerator.
|{{blog|116|2014|10|15}}
|{{book|2|35}}
|{{book|3|2023|12|19|JcXpCyPc2Xw|What if NASCAR had no rules?}}
|-
|[[File:Distant Death.png|100px]]
|'''{{what if|117|Distant Death}}'''
|''"What is the farthest from Earth that any Earth thing has died?"''
<div align="right">—Amy from NZ</div>
|The farthest that any human has died is about 167 kilometers. In terms of any living thing, however, bacterial spores on Voyager 1 are dying every few months, setting a new record each time.
|{{blog|117|2014|10|23|1d late}}
|
|
|-
|[[File:Physical Salary.png|100px]]
|'''{{what if|118|Physical Salary}}'''
|''"What if people's incomes appeared around them as cash in real time? How much would you need to make to be in real trouble?"''
<div align="right">—Julia Anderson, Albuquerque, NM</div>
|{{notice|This is obvious. Explain both scenarios.}}A normal person would not get buried. A CEO, on the other hand, would be in trouble.
|{{blog|118|2014|10|30}}
|
|
|-
|[[File:Laser Umbrella.png|100px]]
|'''{{what if|119|Laser Umbrella}}'''
|''"Stopping rain from falling on something with an umbrella or a tent is boring. What if you tried to stop rain with a laser that targeted and vaporized each incoming droplet before it could come within ten feet of the ground?"''
<div align="right">—Zach Wheeler</div>
|It would be very complicated, not worth it, and would probably make everything around you catch fire.
|{{blog|119|2014|11|13|7d late}}
|{{book|2|37}}
|{{book|6|2024|02|20|zgBTwtg7H8E|Could you make an umbrella out of lasers?}}
|-
|[[File:Alternate Universe What Ifs.png|100px]]
|'''{{what if|120|Alternate Universe What Ifs}}'''
|''"Dispatches from a horrifying alternate universe"''
|
|{{blog|120|2014|11|20}}
|
|
|-
|[[File:Frozen Rivers.png|100px]]
|'''{{what if|121|Frozen Rivers}}'''
|''"What would happen if all of the rivers in the US were instantly frozen in the middle of the summer?"''
<div align="right">—Zoe Cutler</div>
|Anywhere with rain or snowmelt would be horrifically flooded, and ice would break, then dam up rivers, forming huge lakes. Humanity would be worse for the wear, but all in all fine.
|{{blog|121|2014|12|11}} 14d late)
|
|
|-
|[[File:Lava Lamp.png|100px]]
|'''{{what if|122|Lava Lamp}}'''
|''"What if I made a lava lamp out of real lava? What could I use as a clear medium? How close could I stand to watch it?"''
<div align="right">—Kathy Johnstone, 6th Grade Teacher (via a student)</div>
|The container would glow opaque from the heat, making it impossible to see the lava, which would solidify after a minute.
|{{blog|122|2014|12|18}}
|{{book|2|40}}
|
|-
|[[File:Fairy Demographics.png|100px]]
|'''{{what if|123|Fairy Demographics}}'''
|''"How many fairies would fly around, if each fairy is born from the first laugh of a child and fairies were immortal?"''
<div align="right">—Mira Kühn, Germany</div>
|They would have the same birth rate as humans, and they would become a major part of the ecosystem.
|{{blog|123|2015|01|01|7d late}}
|
|
|-
|[[File:Lunar Swimming.png|100px]]
|'''{{what if|124|Lunar Swimming}}'''
|''"What if there was a lake on the Moon? What would it be like to swim in it? Presuming that it is sheltered in a regular atmosphere, in some giant dome or something."''
<div align="right">—Kim Holder</div>
|It would be super-cool, given that lower gravity would increase the size of splashes and the height of jumps.
|{{blog|124|2015|01|08}}
|
|{{book|20|2024|12|24|aIIBBj6KR-Y|What if we put a pool on the moon?}}
|-
|[[File:Bowling Ball 2.png|100px]]
|'''{{what if|125|Bowling Ball}}'''
|''"You are in a boat directly over the Mariana Trench. If you drop a 7kg bowling ball over the side, how long would it take to hit the bottom?"''
<div align="right">—Doug Carter</div>
|Two hours and 20 minutes.
|{{blog|125|2015|01|15}}
|
|
|-
|[[File:Stairs (What If?).png|100px]]
|'''{{what if|126|Stairs}}'''

|''"If you made an elevator that would go to space (like the one you mentioned in the '''{{what if|94|billion-story building}}''') and built a staircase up (assuming regulated air pressure) about how long would it take to climb to the top?"''
<div align="right">—Ethan Annas</div>
A week or two for a professional stair-climber. Half a day by motorcycle.
|{{blog|126|2015|01|22}}
|
|
|-
|[[File:Tug of War.png|100px]]
|'''{{what if|127|Tug of War}}'''
|''"Would it be possible for two teams in a tug-o-war to overcome the ultimate tensile strength of an iron rod and pull it apart? How big would the teams have to be?"''
<div align="right">—Markus Andersen</div>
|
|{{blog|127|2015|01|28|1d early}}
|
|
|-
|[[File:Zippo Phone.png|100px]]
|'''{{what if|128|Zippo Phone}}'''
|''"What in my pocket actually contains more energy, my Zippo or my smartphone? What would be the best way of getting the energy from one to the other? And since I am already feeling like Bilbo in this one, is there anything else in my pocket that would have unexpected amounts of stored energy?"''
<div align="right">—Ian Cummings</div>
|The Zippo has more energy than your phone battery, but your hand would have even more, when burned as fuel.
|{{blog|128|2015|02|05|1d late}}
|
|
|-
|[[File:Black Hole Moon.png|100px]]
|'''{{what if|129|Black Hole Moon}}'''
|''"What would happen if the Moon were replaced with an equivalently-massed black hole? If it's possible, what would a lunar ("holar"?) eclipse look like?"''
<div align="right">—Matt</div>
|It would not have a big impact unless it happened during the space age.
|{{blog|129|2015|02|12}}
|
|
|-
|[[File:Snow Removal.png|100px]]
|'''{{what if|130|Snow Removal}}'''
|''"I've long thought about putting a flamethrower on the front of a car to melt snow and ice before you drive across it. Now I've realized that a flamethrower is impractical, but what about a high-powered microwave emitter?"''
<div align="right">—Matt Van Opens</div>
|
|{{blog|130|2015|02|19}}
|
|
|-
|[[File:Microwaves.png|100px]]
|'''{{what if|131|Microwaves}}'''
|''"I have had a particular problem for as long as I can remember. Any time I attempt to heat left over Chinese food in a microwave, it fails to heat completely through somewhere. Usually the center but not always and usually rice, but often it will be a small section of meat. It's baffling and has made me automatically adjust heating times to over 2 minutes. In most cases this tends to heat the bowl or plate more than the food. So I suppose the question is what is the optimal time to heat left over Chinese food in the microwave, how about an 800 watt microwave?"''
<div align="right">—James</div>
|
|{{blog|131|2015|02|27|1d late}}
|
|
|-
|[[File:Hotter than Average.png|100px]]
|'''{{what if|132|Hotter than Average}}'''
|''"I saw a sign at a hot springs tub saying "Caution: Water is hotter than average" with water at about 39°C. Although they were presumably trying to say "hotter than the average swimming pool," this got me wondering: What is the average temperature of all water on the Earth’s surface, and how does that temperature compare to 39°C?"''
<div align="right">—Graham Ward</div>
|{{notice|Explain, what's a water average?}}There is a water average. Give the signmakers some credit.
|{{blog|132|2015|03|07|1d late}}
|
|
|-
|[[File:Flagpole.png|100px]]
|'''{{what if|133|Flagpole}}'''
|''"So, you're falling from a height above the tallest building in your town, and you don't have a parachute. But wait! Partway down the side of that skyscraper there's a flagpole sticking out, sans flag! You angle your descent and grab the pole just long enough to swing around so that when you let go you're now heading back up toward the sky. As gravity slows you and brings you to a halt, you reach the top of the skyscraper, where you reach out and pull yourself to safety. What's the likelihood this could happen?"''
<div align="right">—Rex Ungericht</div>
|
|{{blog|133|2015|03|17|3d late}}
|
|
|-
|[[File:Space Burial.png|100px]]
|'''{{what if|134|Space Burial}}'''
|''"I've often joked I'd like to have my remains put into orbit. Not in a "scatter my ashes" sense, but, like, "throw my naked corpse out the airlock" sense. Honestly, my main motivation is to baffle someone in the distant future, but it's an interesting scientific question: what would happen to my body in orbit over the course of years, decades or centuries?"''
<div align="right">—Tim in Fremont</div>
|
|{{blog|134|2015|03|28|4d late}}
|
|
|-
|[[File:Digging Downward.png|100px]]
|'''{{what if|135|Digging Downward}}'''
|''"What would happen if I dug straight down, at a speed of 1 foot per second? What would kill me first?"''
<div align="right">—Jack Kaunis</div>
|
|{{blog|135|2015|04|05|1d late}}
|
|
|-
|[[File:Spiders vs. the Sun.png|100px]]
|'''{{what if|136|Spiders vs. the Sun}}'''
|''"Which has a greater gravitational pull on me: the Sun, or spiders? Granted, the Sun is much bigger, but it is also much further away, and as I learned in high school physics, the gravitational force is proportional to the square of the distance."''
<div align="right">—Marina Fleming</div>
|The Sun. But spiders are a lot more scary.
|{{blog|136|2015|04|12}}
|{{book|2|44}}
|
|-
|[[File:New Horizons.png|100px]]
|'''{{what if|137|New Horizons}}'''
|''"What if New Horizons hits my car?"''
<div align="right">—Robin Sheat</div>
|
|{{blog|137|2015|07|14|2m 25d late}}
|
|
|-
|[[File:Jupiter Submarine.png|100px]]
|'''{{what if|138|Jupiter Submarine}}'''
|''"What if you released a submarine into Jupiter's atmosphere? Would it eventually reach a point where it would float? Could it navigate?"''
<div align="right">—KTH</div>
|
|{{blog|138|2015|07|28|7d late}}
|
|
|-
|[[File:Jupiter Descending.png|100px]]
|'''{{what if|139|Jupiter Descending}}'''
|''"If you did '''{{what if|138|fall into Jupiter's atmosphere in a submarine}}''', what would it actually look like? What would you see before you melted or burned up?"''
<div align="right">—Ada Munroe</div>
|{{notice|Too short}}You would see... brown.
|{{blog|139|2015|08|04}}
|
|
|-
|[[File:Proton Earth, Electron Moon.png|100px]]
|'''{{what if|140|Proton Earth, Electron Moon}}'''
|''"What if the Earth were made entirely of protons, and the Moon were made entirely of electrons?"''
<div align="right">—Noah Williams</div>
|
|{{blog|140|2015|09|18|1m 7d late}}
|{{book|2|48}}
|
|-
|[[File:Sunbeam.png|100px]]
|'''{{what if|141|Sunbeam}}'''
|''"What if all of the sun's output of visible light were bundled up into a laser-like beam that had a diameter of around 1m once it reaches Earth?"''
<div align="right">—Max Schäfer</div>
|
|{{blog|141|2016|01|12|3m 18d late}}
|
|
|-
|[[File:Space Jetta.png|100px]]
|'''{{what if|142|Space Jetta}}'''
|''"What if I tried to re-enter the atmosphere in my car? (a 2000 VW Jetta TDI). Would it do more environmental damage than it is already apparently doing?"''
<div align="right">—Casey Berg</div>
|{{notice|Why?}}Actually, it would be more clean than it is currently!
|{{blog|142|2016|01|20|1d late}}
|
|
|-
|[[File:Europa Water Siphon.png|100px]]
|'''{{what if|143|Europa Water Siphon}}'''
|''"What if you built a siphon from the oceans on Europa to Earth? Would it flow once it's set up? (We have an idea for selling bottled Europa water.)"''
<div align="right">—A group of Google Search SREs</div>
|{{notice|Too short}}No, at least not with a siphon.
|{{blog|143|2016|01|26|1d early}}
|
|
|-
|[[File:Saliva Pool.png|100px]]
|'''{{what if|144|Saliva Pool}}'''
|''"How long would it take for a single person to fill up an entire swimming pool with their own saliva?"''
<div align="right">—Mary Griffin, 9th grade</div>
|{{notice|Too short. Why? How?}}It would take them 8345 years.
|{{blog|144|2016|02|02}}
|{{book|2|53}}
|
|-
|[[File:Fire From Moonlight.png|100px]]
|'''{{what if|145|Fire From Moonlight}}'''
|''"Can you use a magnifying glass and moonlight to light a fire?"''
<div align="right">—Rogier Spoor</div>
|
|{{blog|145|2016|02|09}}
|{{book|2|51}}
|
|-
|[[File:Stop Jupiter.png|100px]]
|'''{{what if|146|Stop Jupiter}}'''
|''"I understand that the ''New Horizons'' craft used gravity assist from Jupiter to increase its speed on the way to Pluto. I also understand that by doing this, Jupiter slowed down very slightly. How many flyby runs would it take to stop Jupiter completely?"''
<div align="right">—Dillon</div>
|{{notice|Why?}}This can never happen, even if we were to throw Earth at Jupiter.
|{{blog|146|2016|02|16}}
|
|
|-
|[[File:Niagara Straw.png|100px]]
|'''{{what if|147|Niagara Straw}}'''
|''"What would happen if one tried to funnel Niagara Falls through a straw?"''
<div align="right">—David Gwizdala</div>
|{{notice|Too short, last part.}}The International Niagara Committee, the International Niagara Board of Control, the International Joint Commission, the International Niagara Board Working Committee, and probably the Great Lakes–St. Lawrence River Adaptive Management Committee would get angry. The Earth would also be destroyed.
|{{blog|147|2016|02|26}} 3d late)
|{{book|2|55}}
|
|-
|[[File:Eat the Sun.png|100px]]
|'''{{what if|148|Eat the Sun}}'''
|''"What percentage of the Sun's heat (per day) does the population of Earth eat in calories per year? What changes could be made to our diets for the amount of calories to equal the energy of the Sun?"''
<div align="right">—James Mitchell</div>
|
|{{blog|148|2016|03|12|8d late}}
|
|
|-
|[[File:Pizza Bird.png|100px]]
|'''{{what if|149|Pizza Bird}}'''
|''"My boyfriend recently took a flight on a plane with wifi, and while he was up there, wistfully asked if I could send him a pizza. I jokingly sent him a photo of a parrot holding a pizza slice in its beak. Obviously, my boyfriend had to go without pizza until he landed at JFK. But this raised the question: could a bird deliver a standard 20" New York-style cheese pizza in a box? And if so, what kind of bird would it take?"''
<div align="right">—Tina Nguyen</div>
|
|{{blog|149|2016|03|26|7d late}}
|
|
|-
|[[File:Tatooine Rainbow.png|100px]]
|'''{{what if|150|Tatooine Rainbow}}'''
|''"Since rainbows are caused by the refraction of the sunlight by tiny droplets of rainwater, what would rainbow look like on Earth if we had two suns like Tatooine?"''
<div align="right">—Raga</div>
|
|{{blog|150|2016|05|23|1m 21d late}}
|
|
|-
|[[File:Sun Bug.png|100px]]
|'''{{what if|151|Sun Bug}}'''
|''"How many fireflies would it take to match the brightness of the Sun?"''
<div align="right">—Luke Doty</div>
|
|{{blog|151|2016|07|21|1m 23d late}}
|
|
|-
|[[File:Flood Death Valley.png|100px]]
|'''{{what if|152|Flood Death Valley}}'''
|''"Since Death Valley is below sea level could we dig a hole to the ocean and fill it up with water?"''
<div align="right">—Nick Traeden</div>
|
|{{blog|152|2016|10|18|2m 21d late}}
|
|
|-
|''The thumbnail for this blog article wasn't archived.''
|'''<span class="plainlinks">[https://web.archive.org/web/20161205191559/http://what-if.xkcd.com/153 Peptides]</span>'''
|''"What is the longest English word you can spell using the one letter abbreviations of the 20 genetic amino acids? What about the three letter abbreviations? What would the resultant peptides look like?"''
<div align="right">—Kira (Lysine-Isoleucine-Arginine-Alanine) Guth</div>
|
|{{blog|153|2016|12|05|notAvailable=Published by accident and deleted: [[what if? (blog)#top|learn more]]}}
|
|
|-
|[[File:Hide the Atmosphere.png|100px]]
|'''{{what if|153|Hide the Atmosphere}}'''
|''"Earth’s atmosphere is really thin compared to the radius of the Earth. How big a hole do I need to dig before people suffocate?"''
<div align="right">—Sam Burke</div>
|The hole would need to be very big. Under the right circumstances, a five-mile hole over the entire state of Texas might suffice.
|{{blog|153|2017|01|30|3m 5d late}}
|
|
|-
|[[File:Coast-to-Coast Coasting.png|100px]]
|'''{{what if|154|Coast-to-Coast Coasting}}'''
|''"What if the entire continental US was on a decreasing slope from West to East. How steep would the slope have to be to sustain the momentum needed to ride a bicycle the entire distance without pedaling?"''
<div align="right">—Brandon Rooks</div>
|The ramp would need to be five miles high (eight kilometres) to make this possible, and that would be at a speed slower than walking. You would also need oxygen for the first third of the way down.
|{{blog|154|2017|02|08|9d late}}
|
|
|-
|[[File:Toaster vs. Freezer.png|100px]]
|'''{{what if|155|Toaster vs. Freezer}}'''
|''"Would a toaster still work in a freezer?"''
<div align="right">—[https://maximumfun.org/podcasts/my-brother-my-brother-and-me/ My Brother, My Brother, and Me], [https://maximumfun.org/episodes/my-brother-my-brother-and-me/mbmbam-343-sauce-doctors-blessing/ Episode 343], discussing a Yahoo Answers question</div>
|
|{{blog|155|2017|02|28|13d late}}
|
|
|-
|[[File:Electrofishing for Whales.png|100px]]
|'''{{what if|156|Electrofishing for Whales}}'''
|''"I used to work on a fisheries crew where we would use an electro-fisher backpack to momentarily stun small fish (30 - 100 mm length) so we could scoop them up with nets to identify and measure them. The larger fish tended to be stunned for slightly longer because of their larger surface area but I don't imagine this relationship would be maintained for very large animals. Could you electrofish for a blue whale? At what voltage would you have have to set the e-fisher?"''
<div align="right">—Madeline Cooper</div>
|Electrofishing has long-term effects on fish and especially dolphins. Larger animals, especially mammals, are likely to die rather than just get stunned. But it is also harder to get any effect in saltwater, which explains why electrofishing is mainly done in rivers and lakes, compared to fresh water. This means it wouldn't work on blue whales.
|{{blog|156|2017|03|09|2d late}}
|
|
|-
|[[File:Earth-Moon Fire Pole.png|100px]]
|'''{{what if|157|Earth-Moon Fire Pole}}'''
|''"My son (5y) asked me today: If there were a kind of a fireman's pole from the Moon down to the Earth, how long would it take to slide all the way from the Moon to the Earth?"''
<div align="right">—Ramon Schönborn, Germany</div>
|This set-up would face many challenges, but these would be the different domains of the slowest extreme sport: climbing out of the Moon's gravity, accelerating through the middle transfer phase, and then decelerating to your supersonic arrival on Earth.
|{{blog|157|2018|03|21|1y 2m 5d late}}
|{{book|2|58}}
|
|-
|[[File:Hot Banana.png|100px]]
|'''{{what if|158|Hot Banana}}'''
|''"I heard that bananas are radioactive. If they are radioactive, then they radiate energy. How many bananas would you need to power a house?"''
<div align="right">—Kang Ji</div>
|Bananas are not very radioactive, so it would take an absurdly large number. However, gathering that many bananas in one place would have negative consequences. New York no longer exists.
|{{blog|158|2022|05|04|3y 11m 7d late}}
|
|
|-
|[[File:Hailstones.png|100px]]
|'''{{what if|159|Hailstones}}'''
|''"My 4 year old son and I were wondering about soccer ball sized hail today. How much damage would a hail storm with size 5 soccer ball sized hail do?"''
<div align="right">—Michael Grill</div>
|There's no real chance of producing that big hail stones, but if they could be lethal even if staying indoors.
|{{blog|159|2022|07|05|1m 30d late}}
|
|
|-
|''This blog article doesn't have a thumbnail.''
|'''{{what if|160|Transatlantic Car Rental}}'''
|''"My daughter recently received her driver's permit in the US, and aspires to visit mainland Europe someday. She has learned enough about the rules of the road to know never to drive into the ocean; however, she jokingly suggested that given a sufficient quantity of rental cars, she could eventually get to Europe by driving east repeatedly. The question is, how many vehicles would it take to build a car-bridge across the Atlantic?"''
<div align="right">—Eric Munson</div>
|
|{{blog|160|2022|09|06|1m 26d late}}
|
|
|-
|''This blog article doesn't have a thumbnail.''
|'''{{what if|161|Star Ownership}}'''
|''"If every country's airspace extended up forever, which country would own the largest percentage of the galaxy at any given time?"''
<div align="right">—Reuven Lazarus</div>
|{{notice|Too short}}Australia owns most of the galaxy at certain points in time.
|{{blog|161|2022|11|01|1m 19d late}}
|{{book|2|24}}
|
|-
|''This blog article doesn't have a thumbnail.''
|'''{{what if|162|Comet Ice}}'''
|''"Could I cool down the Earth by capturing a comet and dropping it in the ocean, like an ice cube in a glass of water?"''
<div align="right">—Daniel Becker</div>
|{{notice|Too short}}The comet either burns up in the atmosphere or speeds up global warming.
|{{blog|162|2022|12|06|29d late}}
|
|
|-
|
|'''Global Windstorm'''
|''"What would happen if the Earth and all terrestrial objects suddenly stopped spinning, but the atmosphere retained its velocity?"''
<div align="right">—Andrew Brown</div>
|
|
|{{book|1|1}}
|{{book|4|2024|01|09|gp5G1QG6cXc|What if Earth suddenly stopped spinning?}}
|-
|
|'''Weird (and Worrying) Questions from the What If? Inbox, #1'''
|
|
|
|{{book|1|4}}
|
|-
|
|'''New York–Style Time Machine'''
|''"I assume when you travel back in time you end up at the same spot on the Earth’s surface. At least, that’s how it worked in the Back to the Future movies. If so, what would it be like if you traveled back in time, starting in Times Square, New York, 1000 years? 10,000 years? 100,000 years? 1,000,000 years? 1,000,000,000 years? What about foward in time 1,000,000 years?"''
<div align="right">—Mark Dettling</div>
|
|
|{{book|1|5}}
|
|-
|
|'''Periodic Wall of the Elements'''
|
<div align="right">—Andrew Brown</div>
|
|
|{{book|1|8}}
|
|-
|
|'''Weird (and Worrying) Questions from the What If? Inbox, #2'''
|
|
|
|{{book|1|12}}
|
|-
|
|'''The Last Human Light'''
|
|
|
|{{book|1|13}}
|{{book|11|2024|05|28|8fADp43wJwU|If all humans died, when would the last light go out?}}
|-
|
|'''Weird (and Worrying) Questions from the What If? Inbox, #3'''
|
|
|
|{{book|1|16}}
|
|-
|
|'''Orbital Submarine'''
|
|
|
|{{book|1|17}}
|{{book|7|2024|03|05|EsUBRd1O2dU|Would a Submarine Work as a Spaceship?}}
|-
|
|'''Weird (and Worrying) Questions from the What If? Inbox, #4'''
|
|
|
|{{book|1|20}}
|
|-
|
|'''Human Computer'''
|
|
|
|{{book|1|21}}
|
|-
|
|'''Common Cold'''
|
|
|
|{{book|1|25}}
|
|-
|
|'''Weird (and Worrying) Questions from the What If? Inbox, #5'''
|
|
|
|{{book|1|27}}
|
|-
|
|'''No More DNA'''
|
|
|
|{{book|1|29}}
|
|-
|
|'''Weird (and Worrying) Questions from the What If? Inbox, #6'''
|
|
|
|{{book|1|31}}
|
|-
|
|'''Flyover States'''
|
|
|
|{{book|1|33}}
|
|-
|
|'''Weird (and Worrying) Questions from the What If? Inbox, #7'''
|
|
|
|{{book|1|36}}
|
|-
|
|'''Self-Fertilization'''
|
|
|
|{{book|1|37}}
|
|-
|
|'''Weird (and Worrying) Questions from the What If? Inbox, #8'''
|
|
|
|{{book|1|40}}
|
|-
|
|'''Lost Immortals'''
|
|
|
|{{book|1|42}}
|
|-
|
|'''Weird (and Worrying) Questions from the What If? Inbox, #9'''
|
|
|
|{{book|1|46}}
|
|-
|
|'''Sparta'''
|
|
|
|{{book|1|47}}
|
|-
|
|'''Lego Bridge'''
|
|
|
|{{book|1|51}}
|
|-
|
|'''Weird (and Worrying) Questions from the What If? Inbox, #10'''
|
|
|
|{{book|1|54}}
|
|-
|
|'''Weightless Arrow'''
|
|
|
|{{book|1|56}}
|
|-
|
|'''All the Lightning'''
|
|
|
|{{book|1|62}}
|{{book|10|2024|05|07|fs28lEq9smw|What if all the lightning on Earth struck the same place at once?}}
|-
|
|'''Weird (and Worrying) Questions from the What If? Inbox, #11'''
|
|
|
|{{book|1|64}}
|
|-
|
|'''Neutron Bullet'''
|
|
|
|{{book|1|67}}
|
|-
|
|'''Weird (and Worrying) Questions from the What If? Inbox, #12'''
|
|
|
|{{book|1|68}}
|
|-
|
|'''Richter 15'''
|
|
|
|{{book|1|69}}
|{{book|2|2023|12|05|e3uk7jU3RHo|What would a magnitude 15 earthquake be like?}}
|-
|
|'''Soupiter'''
|''"What would happen if the Solar System was filled with soup out to Jupiter?"''
<div align="right">—Amelia</div>
|The soup would collapse into a black hole and devour the Milky Way, though we would feel mostly fine for the first 10 to 15 minutes.
|
|{{book|2|1}}
|
|-
|
|'''Helicopter Ride'''
|''"What if you were hanging on a helicopter blade by your hands and then someone turned it on?"''
<div align="right">—Corban Blanset</div>
|Without any grip assistance, you'd fall off before it completed its first revolution. With handholds, your body would instead fall off of your arms.
|
|{{book|2|2}}
|
|-
|
|'''Dangerously Cold'''
|''"Would there be any danger from standing next to a large object that was 0 Kelvin?"''
<div align="right">—Christopher</div>
|There wouldn't be a lot of direct danger from the cube itself, though it would make you feel cold. The bigger danger would be from liquid oxygen condensing and igniting flammable objects. It would take a while to reheat the cube
|
|{{book|2|3}}
|
|-
|
|'''Ironic Vaporization'''
|''"What if we somehow evaporated a solid block of iron on {{asic|ear|th''}}''?"''
<div align="right">—Cooper C.</div>
|The cube would ignite whatever is near it and deposit large quantities of iron flakes downwind. However, it wouldn't make a huge impact on the total amount of atmospheric iron.
|
|{{book|2|4}}
|
|-
|
|'''Cosmic Road Trip'''
|''"If the universe stopped expanding right now, how long would it take for a human to drive a car all the way to the edge of the universe?"''
<div align="right">—Sam H-H</div>
|
|
|{{book|2|5}}
|
|-
|
|'''Pigeon Chair'''
|''"How many pigeons would it require in order to lift the average person and launch a chair to the height of Australia's Q1 skyscraper?"''
<div align="right">—Nick Evans</div>
|
|
|{{book|2|6}}
|
|-
|rowspan="11"|
|rowspan="11"|'''Short Answers #1'''
|''"What if your blood became liquid uranium? Would you die from radiation, lack of oxygen, or something else?"''
<div align="right">—Thomas Chattaway</div>
|You would die of Jeff's Disease.
|rowspan="11"|
|rowspan="11"{{book|2|6.5}} (S1)
|rowspan="11"|
|-
|''"Could someone have an anime-style attack where they created a sword out of air? I'm not talking about an air blade, but something like cooling the air enough so that you had solid air to attack people."''
<div align="right">—Emma</div>
|Theoretically yes, but it would be extremely impractical.
|-
|''"How much water do you have to drink to become 99 percent water?"''
<div align="right">—LyraxH</div>
|About 500 gallons of water.
|-
|''"What would we see if we attached a lightweight camera to a balloon and let it fly away?"''
<div align="right">—Raymond Peng</div>
|We should have attached a transmitter as well.
|-
|''"How many calories does Mario burn a day?"''
<div align="right">—Daniel and Xavier Hovley</div>
|Mario starved to death in late 1985.
|-
|''"If a snake unhinged its jaw and swallowed a balloon whole, could/would the balloon carry the snake up?"''
<div align="right">—Freezachu</div>
|No.
|-
|''"If you were to jump out of an airplane that was traveling at Mach 880980 that was 100,00 feet above ground in New York City, with skydiving gear, could you survive?"''
<div align="right">—Jack Catten</div>
|rowspan="2"|No, you would die.
|-
|''"If there was no water on Earth, would we all live?"''
<div align="right">—Karen</div>
|-
|''"Is it possible to make a homemade jetpack?"''
<div align="right">—Azhari Zadil</div>
|It's very easy to make one that works once; much harder to make it work more.
|-
|''"I was wondering whether there's a way to use my welder as a defibrillator? (The specific model I own is an Impax IM-ARC140 arc welder.)"''
<div align="right">—Łukasz Grabowski</div>
|No, and you probably shouldn't be allowed to use it as an arc welder either.
|-
|''"What if all atoms on Earth were expanded to the size of a grape? Would we survive?
|I don't know how to answer this with science, but now I want grapes.
|-
|
|'''Geyser'''
|''"If one were to stand on top of the Old Faithful geyser in Yellowstone National Park, at what speed would they be launched upwards and what injuries would they likely sustain?"''
<div align="right">—Catherine McGrath</div>
|
|
|{{book|2|8}}
|
|-
|
|'''Pew, Pew, Pew'''
|''"If you shot a ridiculously powerful gun/{{asic|la|zer''}}'' would it go off the edge of the world in a straight line or curve around the world?"''
<div align="right">—Maelor</div>
|The beam would go off the edge of the world, except under certain circumstances.
|
|{{book|2|9}}
|
|-
|rowspan="4"|
|rowspan="4"|'''Weird & Worrying #1'''
|colspan="2"|''"Can bees or other animals go to hell? Or can they murder other bees without consequences?"''
<div align="right">—Sadie Kim</div>
|rowspan="4"|
|rowspan="4"{{book|2|10.5}} (W1)
|rowspan="4"|
|-
|colspan="2"|''"How many mirrors reflecting (sun)light would it take to kill, or at least, injure somebody?"''
<div align="right">—Eli Collinge</div>
|-
|colspan="2"|''"If you had to remove the tonsils of a giant, what would be the safest way for you to do it? The surgeon is a normal human."''
<div align="right">—Tirzah</div>
|-
|colspan="2"|''"What would it take to defeat Air Force One with a drone???"''
<div align="right">—Anonymous</div>
|-
|
|'''Banana Church'''
|''"Can all the world's bananas fit inside of all of the world's churches? My friends have had this argument for a little over 10 years now."''
<div align="right">—Jonas</div>
|Yes. They would likely only fill the churches to 6 inches deep.
|
|{{book|2|11}}
|
|-
|
|'''Lose Weight the Slow and Incredibly Difficult Way'''
|''"I want to lose 20 pounds. How much of the Earth's mass would I have to "relocate" to space in order to achieve my goal?"''
<div align="right">—Ryan Murphy</div>
|You would have to remove 85% of the Earth's mass.
|
|{{book|2|13}}
|
|-
|
|'''Jupiter Comes to Town'''
|''"Dear Randall, what would happen if you shrunk Jupiter down to the size of a house and placed in a neighborhood, say, replacing a house?"''
<div align="right">—Zachary</div>
|
|
|{{book|2|15}}
|
|-
|
|'''Swing Set'''
|''"How tall can a swing set be while still being powered by a human pumping their legs? Is it possible to build a swing set tall enough to launch the rider into space if they jump at the right time? (Assuming the human has enough energy, which my 5-year-old seems to have.)"''
<div align="right">—Joe Coyle</div>
|This wouldn't happen.
|
|{{book|2|17}}
|
|-
|
|'''Airliner Catapult'''
|''"My friend is a commercial airline pilot. She says that a significant amount of fuel is spent on takeoff. To save fuel, why couldn't we launch airplanes using catapult systems like on aircraft carriers (calibrated to normal human accelerations)? Could significant amounts of fossil fuels be saved if the catapults could be run by some other clean energy? I'm imagining a rope ... one end tied to the airplane, the other tied to a large boulder at the edge of a cliff. Just push the boulder off the cliff!"''
<div align="right">—Brady Barkey</div>
|
|
|{{book|2|18}}
|
|-
|rowspan="14"|
|rowspan="14"|'''Short Answers #2'''
|''"Billy the Clown is running out of cash, so in order to raise money, he devises his newest trick: He will inflate, by mouth, a standard-size party balloon until the material (some form of indestructible rubber) is just one atom thick. How large would the inflated party balloon be?"''
<div align="right">—Alan Fong</div>
|It's a total mystery why Billy is running out of cash.
|rowspan="14"|
|rowspan="14"{{book|2|18.5}} (S2)
|rowspan="14"|
|-
|''"How many leaf blowers would it take to move a standard SUV"''
<div align="right">—Ashley H.</div>
|One or two dozen heavy-duty leaf blowers on level ground; more if you don't want to be honked at.
|-
|''"If you put a vacuum at extremely high suction and aimed it at a normal BMW sedan, what would happen?"''
<div align="right">—Anonymous</div>
|Nothing.
|-
|''"On a warm summer evening, when you sit outside with a light on, you can be sure that bugs will be attracted to the light. Then why is it that these same bugs don't fly toward the biggest and strongest lamp of them all, namely the Sun, during the day?"''
<div align="right">—Anonymous</div>
|Those that would would die and not be able to produce offspring with the same traits.
|-
|''"If you collected all of the guns in the world and put them on one side of the Earth, then shot the all simultaneously, would it move the Earth?"''
<div align="right">—Nathan</div>
|It would not move the Earth, but it would make the other side a nicer place to live.
|-
|''"What would happen if you microwaved a small microwave, while the smaller one was on as well?"''
<div align="right">—Micheal</div>
|You would no longer be welcome in that IKEA.
|-
|''"If you're jumping on a trampoline, how fast would your body have to be going to:<br>'''A.''' Break all bones on impact<br>'''B.''' Make your body go though the tiny holes of the mesh."''
<div align="right">—Micah Lane</div>
|<ol style="list-style-type: upper-alpha">
<li>Breaking all of the bones in your body would be hard because a lot of them are very small, but it would be fast enough that the trampoline wouldn't make much of a difference.</li>
<li>This can't happen, no matter how fast you're going.</li>
</ol>
|-
|''"I have a Nothing Grenade™. When detonated, it instantly replaces itself with a sphere of perfect vacuum 2 meters across. What would actually happen when it went off?"''
<div align="right">—Dave H.</div>
|You would have a device functionally similar to a regular grenade.
|-
|''"Is space hot or cold?"''
<div align="right">—Isaac</div>
|Space is the hottest place you can freeze to death in.
|-
|''"How many bones can you remove from the human body while allowing the human to continue living? Asking for a friend."''
<div align="right">—Chris Rakeman</div>
|That person is not your friend.
|-
|''"What would happen if you put a human under a g-force of 417 Gs for twenty seconds?"''
<div align="right">—Nythill</div>
|You would be arrested for murder.
|-
|''"Where or how can one commit a murder and not be prosecuted for it?"''
<div align="right">—Kunai Dhawan</div>
|
|-
|''"I read today that insects make at least $57 billion a year for the US economy. If we were to pay every single insect in the United States equally for their economic contribution, how much would each insect get?"''
<div align="right">—Hannah McDonald</div>
|Each insect would get $0.0000029.
Broken down:
*$18 billion to flies, including mosquitoes
*$16 billion to bees, wasps, and ants
*$10 billion to beetles
*$7 billion to thrips
*$1 billion to butterflies and moths
*$1 billion to true bugs
*$4 billion to all other insects
|-
|''"What, in today's world and yesterday's world, does it mean to be human, in all social and biological factors?"''
<div align="right">—Seth Carrol</div>
|You meant to submit this to ''Why If?: Deeply Ungrammatical Answers to Unanswerable Philosophical Questions''.
|-
|
|'''Slow Dinosaur Apocalypse'''
|''"What if an object like the Chicxulub impactor hit earth with a relatively low relative speed of (let's say) 3 mph"''
<div align="right">—Beni von Alemann</div>
|
|
|{{book|2|19}}
|
|-
|
|'''Elemental Worlds'''
|''"What if Mercury (the planet) were entirely made of mercury (the element)? What if Ceres was made of cerium? Uranus made of uranium? Neptune made of neptunium? What about Pluto made of plutonium?"''
<div align="right">—Anonymous</div>
|
|
|{{book|2|20}}
| 
|-
|
|'''Tire Rubber'''
|''"Rubber tires on millions of cars and trucks start with about ½" tread and end up bald. Rubber should be everywhere, or at least our highways should be made thicker. Where's the rubber?"''
<div align="right">—Fred</div>
|
|
|{{book|2|25}}
|
|-
|rowspan="10"|
|rowspan="10"|'''Short Answers #3'''
|''"How long do you think two people would have to kiss continuously before they had no lips left?"''
<div align="right">—Asli</div>
|That's not how lips work
|rowspan="10"|
|rowspan="10"{{book|2|26.5}} (S3)
|rowspan="10"|
|-
|''"My college friend and I have had this debate for years now: If you put a million hungry ants in a glass cube with one human, who's more likely to walk out alive?"''
<div align="right">—Eric Bowman</div>
|Both the human and the ants would go after the person who put them in the glass box.
|-
|''"What if all of humanity set all of their differences aside and work together to level out the Earth into a perfect sphere?"''
<div align="right">—Erik Andersen</div>
|This would quickly create new differences.
|-
|''"People talk a lot about a space elevator or a building that would reach into low orbit to save time and resources getting things into space. This is going to sound incredibly stupid, but why has no one proposed building a road into space? Since orbit is generally considered to be 62 miles out, would it be possible to build a 62-mile-high mountain somewhere in the United States? Colorado would be my suggestion, since it has a low population density and is about a mile above sea level already."''
<div align="right">—Brian</div>
|Where are you going to get the materials to build the mountain?
|-
|''"If I shot a rocket and a bullet through Jupiter's center, would they come out the other side?"''
<div align="right">—James Wilson</div>
|No. Jupiter is bulletproof.
|-
|''"What if Mount Everest magically turned into pure lava? What would happen to life; would we all die?"''
<div align="right">—Ian</div>
|We would mostly be okay.
|-
|''"Can you fall down into the Mariana Trench, or would you just swim over it?"''
<div align="right">—Rodolfo Estrella</div>
|You can do both of those things
|-
|''"I play Dungeons & Dragons, and my DM doesn't want to let us use the Gust of Wind spell to push wind into the sails of a ship and make it move. Her argument is that you can't use this spell to move a ship because someone on a sailboat can't aim a fan at the sail to propel the boat. We argue that since the spell doesn't push you backward when you use it, then we should be able to use it to make the ship sail. She says she'll allow it only if you say so."''
<div align="right">—Georgia Paterson and Allison Adams</div>
|Since the spell doesn't push you backwards, it should work. If the spell pushed you backwards, you would just have to aim the spell backwards.
|-
|''"What if I struck a match on Titan? Would it light if there's no oxygen?"''
<div align="right">—Ethan Fitzgibbon</div>
|It would spark and then fizzle out.
|-
|''"I posted a question on social media asking what would be the smallest change that would create the biggest disaster. One of the responses I got said "if every atom gained 1 proton." So my question for you is, what would happen if every atom gained 1 proton?"''
<div align="right">—Olivia Caputo</div>
|That would not be a small change.
|-
|
|'''Suction Aquarium'''
|''"When I was a child, I discovered that if I took a container into the swimming pool, i could fill it with water and then bring the container (open-end down) to the surface of the water, and the water level in my container was higher than the water level in the pool. What would happen if you tried to do this with a giant container and the ocean? Could you create a giant aquarium on top of the water that the animals could swim in and out of freely? Maybe an irregularly shaped container that you would walk around on to get closer to the fish?"''
<div align="right">—Caroline Collett</div>
|
|
|{{book|2|27}}
|
|-
|
|'''Earth Eye'''
|''"If the Earth were a massive eye, how far would it see?"''
<div align="right">—Alasdir</div>
|
|
|{{book|2|28}}
|
|-
|
|'''Build Rome in a Day'''
|''"How many people would it take to build Rome in a day?"''
<div align="right">—Lauren</div>
| It would take anywhere between 15 minutes and 150 minutes with the whole Earth working.
|
|{{book|2|29}}
|
|-
|
|'''Mariana Trench Tube'''
|''"If I put an indestructible 20-meter-wide glass tube in the ocean that goes all the way down to the deepest part of the ocean, what would it be like to stand at the bottom? Assuming the sun goes directly overhead."''
<div align="right">—Zoki Čulo</div>
|
|
|{{book|2|30}}
|
|-
|
|'''MRI Compass'''
|''"Why don't compasses point toward the nearest hospital because of the magnetic fields created by MRI machines?"''
<div align="right">—D. Hughes</div>
|They actually do, but only within ~10 meters.
|
|{{book|2|32}}
|
|-
|
|'''Ancestor Fraction'''
|''"I noticed recently that the number of people within a family tree increases exponentially with each generation: I have 2 parents, 4 grandparents, 8 great-grandparents, and so on. Which got me thinking—are most people descended from the majority of Homo sapiens who have ever lived? If not, what fraction of all the people that have ever lived am I descended from?"''
<div align="right">—Seamus</div>
|Likely between 2-3 twenty-fourths of all humans who have ever lived.
|
|{{book|2|33}}
|
|-
|
|'''Bird Car'''
|''"I'm a lowly college student stuck in a car without AC. As such, the windows are down most of the time when I'm driving, and I started thinking: If a bird happens to match my speed and direction perfectly, and I swerve to catch the bird in my car ... what happens next, other than an angry bird? Does the bird stay right where it was? Fly into the windshield? Drop into the seat? My roommate and I disagree. Any help settling this would really make all our lives easier."''
<div align="right">—Hunter W.</div>
| The bird would fall onto the seat at an angle, and then would fly out of the window (hopefully).
|
|{{book|2|34}}
|
|-
|rowspan="4"|
|rowspan="4"|'''Weird & Worrying #2'''
|colspan="2"|''"What would happen if you put the end of a vacuum hose up to your eye and turned on the vacuum?"''
<div align="right">—Kitty Greer</div>
|rowspan="4"|
|rowspan="4"{{book|2|35.5}} (W2)
|rowspan="4"|
|-
|colspan="2"|''"Is it possible to hold your arm straight out of a car window and punch a mailbox clean off its pole? Could you do it without breaking your hand?"''
<div align="right">—Ty Gwennap</div>
|-
|colspan="2"|''"If people's teeth kept growing, but when they were fully grown they come off and are swallowed, how long would it take before it causes any problems?"''
<div align="right">—Valen M.</div>
|-
|colspan="2"|''"In a defensive situation, how much epinephrine (in a EpiPen) would it take to subdue a possible attacker?"''
<div align="right">—Henry M.</div>
|-
|
|'''Vacuum Tube Smartphone'''
|''"What if my phone was based on vacuum tubes? How big would it be?"''
<div align="right">—Johnny</div>
| The phone would be about the size of one to five city blocks, and would melt its way through the Earth's crust. Conversely, the UNIVAC constructed with modern electrical components would be smaller than a grain of salt.
|
|{{book|2|36}}
|
|-
|
|'''Eat a Cloud'''
|''"Could a person eat a whole cloud?"''
<div align="right">—Tak</div>
|Not unless you can squeeze the air out first. If you don't you will burp out more cloud than you ate.
|
|{{book|2|38}}
|
|-
|
|'''Tall Sunsets'''
|''"Let's say that two people of different heights (159 cm and 206 cm) stand beside each other while looking at the sunset. How much longer will the taller person be able to see the sun than the shorter one?"''
<div align="right">—Rasmus Bunde Nielson</div>
|Over a second longer.
|
|{{book|2|39}}
|
|-
|
|'''Sisyphean Refrigerators'''
|''"Suppose everyone with a fridge or a freezer opened them at the same time, outdoors. Would that amount of cooling be able to noticeably change the temperature? If not, how many fridges would it take to lower the temperature, say, 5 degrees F? What about even lower?"''
<div align="right">—Nicholas Mittica</div>
|Refrigerators don't work like that, and would likely increase global temperatures by 0.3 degrees celsius. The infinite spite of Hades is surprisingly green.
|
|{{book|2|41}}
|
|-
|
|'''Basketball Earth'''
|''"You know how when you spin a basketball on your finger you hit the side to make it go faster and balance it? If a meteor passes close enough to the earth, can it make the Earth spin faster like your hand does the basketball?"''
<div align="right">—Zayne Freshley</div>
|Yes.
|
|{{book|2|43}}
|
|- 
|
|'''Inhale a Person'''
|''"If house dust comprises up to 80 percent dead skin, how many people worth of skin does a person consume/inhale in a lifetime?"''
<div align="right">—Greg</div>
|You could inhale at most 3 gallons of human skin in a lifetime, and dust is not mostly dead skin. Instead it is a cursed salad of soil, pollen, cotton fibers, crumbs, powdered sugar, glitter, pet hair and dander, plastic, soot, human or animal hair, flour, glass, smoke, mites, and various miscellaneous gunk.
|
|{{book|2|45}}
|
|-
|
|'''Candy Crush Lightning'''
|''"How many Wint-O-Green Life Savers would it take to create a life-size lightning bolt if you crushed them"''
<div align="right">—Violet M.</div>
|Billions
|
|{{book|2|46}}
|
|-
|rowspan="13"|
|rowspan="13"|'''Short Answers #4'''
|''"Can humans safely eat rabid creatures?"''
<div align="right">—Winston</div>
|No.
|rowspan="13"|
|rowspan="13"{{book|2|46.5}} (S4)
|rowspan="13"|
|-
|''"What if the Earth's core suddenly stopped producing heat?"''
<div align="right">—Laura</div>
|We would be mostly fine.
|-
|''"Could humanity, with our current technology, destroy the Moon?"''
<div align="right">—Tyler</div>
|No.
|-
|''"Can global warming cause the Earth's magnetic fields to weaken?"''
<div align="right">—Pavaki</div>
|No.
|-
|''"If you used a laser, would you be able to bake something?"''
<div align="right">—Andrew Liu</div>
|Yes.
|-
|''"What if Earth was sliced in half, like an apple? Where should you be such that you have the best chance of survival?"''
<div align="right">—Anonymous</div>
|You should be holding the object that's slicing the Earth.
|-
|''"What would happen if a person dropped into a pool full of jellyfish?"''
<div align="right">—Lorenzo Belotti</div>
|It depends on the species.
|-
|''"Would it be possible to make a house floor into a massive air hockey table, so you could move heavy furniture across the room?"''
<div align="right">—Jacob Wood</div>
|Yes, and now I know what my next home improvement project will be.
|-
|''"My 7-year-old son asked us over dinner recently at which point potatoes melt (I assume in a vacuum). Please advise."''
<div align="right">—Steffen</div>
|Potatoes don't really melt at any temperature.
|-
|''"Would a pigeon be able to make it to space if it was not affected by gravity?"''
<div align="right">—Nick Evans</div>
|No. The air in the upper atmosphere is too thin to breathe and too cold
|-
|''"If you were flying blind through the Milky Way what would be the odds of hitting a star or planet?"''
<div align="right">—David</div>
|If you flew edge-on, it would be about 1 in 10 billion.
|-
|''"On various bodies in our Solar System (feel free to group any that are equivalent), roughly how long could you survive on the surface (for gas giants, assume you are on a magical platform at some point in the atmosphere that you could reasonably treat as the surface) with nothing but an infinite air supply and warm winter clothing? That is, no helmet, no pressure suit, just a nose-and-mouth air mask attached to a magic air generator, and clothing that would be suitable for, say, Chicago in winter. (No cute tricks like using the magic air supply to generate heat or whatever.)"''
<div align="right">—Melissa Trible</div>
|
*Earth: 100-ish years
*Venus: Weeks to months
*Everywhere else: Minutes to hours
Venus would be great if it weren't for the sulfuric acid.
|-
|''"What would happen if someone dropped an anvil on you from space?"''
<div align="right">—Sam Stiehl</div>
|About the same as if someone dropped an anvil on you from a building.
|-
|
|'''Toasty Warm'''
|''"What if I want to heat my house using toasters. How many do I need?"''
<div align="right">—Peter Ahlström</div>
|Not many, because the house would quickly catch on fire.
|
|{{book|2|47}}
|
|-
|
|'''Eyeball'''
|''"If I pulled out my eyeball and aimed it so that it was looking into my other eyeball, what would I see (assuming the nerves and veins remain undamaged)"''
<div align="right">—Lenka</div>
|You would see an eye superimposed with your head and the background of the room overlapping.
|
|{{book|2|49}}
|
|-
|
|'''Japan Runs an Errand'''
|''"If ALL of Japan's islands disappear, would it affect Earth's natural phenomena (plates, oceans, hurricanes, climate, and so on)?"''
<div align="right">—Miyu Uchida</div>
|It could shift the Earth's center of mass and axis of rotation by a foot. Sea level could also rise by up to a foot and a half in some areas. Ocean circulation in the Pacific could also be impacted.
|
|{{book|2|50}}
|
|-
|
|'''Read All the Laws'''
|''"If a person wanted to read all of the governing documents that apply to them—from the federal and state constitutions, treaties, agency-issued regulations, federal and state laws, local ordinances, etc.—how many pages would they have to read?"''
<div align="right">—Keith Yearman</div>
|Between 145000 and 12.3 million pages.
|
|{{book|2|52}}
|
|-
|rowspan="3"|
|rowspan="3"|'''Weird & Worrying #3'''
|colspan="2"|''"If I were to jump into a container of liquid nitrogen (or dispose of a body that way), how deep would it have to be for me/them to shatter into frozen pieces at the bottom?"''
<div align="right">—Stella Wohnig</div>
|rowspan="3"|
|rowspan="3"{{book|2|52.5}} (W3)
|rowspan="3"|
|-
|colspan="2"|''"What would happen to you if a colony of ants suddenly appeared in you bloodstream all at once?"''
<div align="right">—Matt, on behalf of Declan</div>
|-
|colspan="2"|''"If Harry Potter forgets where the invisible entrance to Platform 9¾ is, how long would he have to crash into walls randomnly before discovering it?"''
<div align="right">—Max Planker</div>
|-
|
|'''Snowball'''
|''"What if I tried to roll a snowball from the top of Mount Everest? How big would the snowball be by the time it reached the bottom and how long would it take?"''
<div align="right">—Michaeline Yates</div>
|It would remain about the same size, or it could cause an avalanche.
|
|{{book|2|54}}
|
|-
|
|'''Walking Backward in Time'''
|''"What if you decided to walk from Austin, Texas, to New York City, but every step takes you back thirty days?"''
<div align="right">—Jojo Yawson</div>
| The sky would flicker at 50 Hz, and you would arrive around 300,000 years in the past.
|
|{{book|2|56}}
|
|-
|
|'''Ammonia Tube'''
|''"What would happen if you fed ammonia into your stomach through a tube? How fast must the flow rate be to burn your stomach from the heat released? What would the newly created chlorine gas do to your stomach?"''
<div align="right">—Becca</div>
|there would be direct tissue damage, and other horrifying effects. Side note: Do not attend Ms. Frizzle,s chemistry class.
|
|{{book|2|57}}
|
|-
|rowspan="7"|
|rowspan="7"|'''Short Answers #5'''
|''"Could life evolve in a constantly running microwave?"''
<div align="right">—Abby Doth</div>
|No.
|rowspan="7"|
|rowspan="7"{{book|2|58.5}} (S5)
|rowspan="7"|
|-
|''"Tonight at my work as an ER nurse in the emergency room, a patient (high on methamphetamine) asked for a cup of water. I returned with a paper cup of water, which the patient promptly threw at my head, missing me but hitting the wall in such an improbable way that the open top of the cup impacted the wall and the cup contained/diminished most of the subsequent splatter. It occured to me that it might be possible to throw a cup of water hard enough that the container of water would go through the wall. Is this possible?"''
<div align="right">—Pete</div>
|Anything will go through a wall if you throw it hard enough
|-
|''"How slow would you have to chew in order to be able to infinitely consume breadsticks?"''
<div align="right">—Miller Broughton</div>
|You would have to divide each breadstick into 20 bites, chewing each bite 200 times at 1 chew per second.
|-
|''"If you were somehow to remove the white and yolk from inside an eggshell (chicken), and replace them with helium, would the eggshell float in the air?"''
<div align="right">—Eliabeth</div>
|No. An eggshell weighs more than the air it displaces.
|-
|''"What would stars smell like, if it were possible to smell them?"''
<div align="right">—Finn Ellis</div>
|It would smell like bleach or burning rubber, and would taste sour.
|-
|''"What is the average size for every man-made object on the planet?"''
<div align="right">—Max Carver</div>
|Not too big, not too small. About average.
|-
|''"E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E<wbr>E"''
<div align="right">—Nate Yu</div>
|I feel you, Nate.
|-
|
|'''Dog Overload'''
|''"Assuming 1 out of every 4 people has a 5-year-old dog, and the dog reproduces once every year, with 5 puppies, and the puppies start reproducing at 5 and stop at 15 and die at 20, how long would it take for the Earth to be flooded with puppies, assuming we have all the food, water, and oxygen to sustain them?"''
<div align="right">—Griffin</div>
|
|
|{{book|2|60}}
|
|-
|
|'''Sunscreen'''
|''"Assuming that SPF works as it purports, what SPF would you need for a 1-hour trip to the surface of the sun?"''
<div align="right">—Brian and Max Parker</div>
|You would need SPF 3,200,000 or a giant blob of sunscreen.
|
|{{book|2|62}}
|
|-
|
|'''Walking on the Sun'''
|''"After the Sun runs out of fuel, it will become a white dwarf and slowly cool. When will it be cool enough to touch?"''
<div align="right">—Jabari Garland</div>
|in about 20 billion years, but you won't be able to physically touch it and survive.
|
|{{book|2|63}}
|
|-
|
|'''Lemon Drops and Gumdrops'''
|''"What if all the raindrops were lemon drops and gumdrops?"''
<div align="right">—Shuo Peskoe-Yang</div>
|Human civilization would collapse, and we would all die.
|
|{{book|2|64}}
|
|-
|
|'''Bonus Chapter'''
|''"...but what if we tried even ''more'' power?"''
<div align="right">—Randall Munroe</div>
|
|
|{{book|3|70}}
|{{book|19|2024|12|03|jgafb8G7i4o|But what if we tried MORE power?}}
|-
|}

==Editors==
''[[#Article index|(jump back to table)]]''
===Add name of reader who asked the question.===
Here's how to add the name(s) to any question on the table. For example, this...
<nowiki>|''"What if all the raindrops were lemon drops and gumdrops?"''
|Human civilization would collapse, and we would all die.</nowiki>
... becomes this:
<nowiki>|''"What if all the raindrops were lemon drops and gumdrops?"''
<div align="right"></nowiki>'''—'''<font color="SeaGreen">'''''InsertNamesHere'''''</font><nowiki></div>
|Human civilization would collapse, and we would all die.</nowiki>
Copy the code and replace the green part! (NOTE: It uses the em-dash, not a normal hyphen, so don't replace the dash, or use <code>&mdash;</code>.) Transcribe it exactly as it is written on the website or book, including parenthesis and age, if given by Randall. '''Protip for desktop users:''' the text looks ALL CAPS on the site, but if you copy and paste it, it's in normal Sentence Case. You can simply copy and paste.

===Add YouTube video===
<nowiki>{{book|YT-NUMBER|YYYY|MM|DD|</nowiki><font color="SeaGreen">'''''<nowiki>HTTPS://LINK</nowiki>'''''</font>|VIDEO-TITLE}}
'''EXAMPLE:''' <nowiki>{{book|</nowiki><font color="SeaGreen">'''''2'''''</font>|<font color="SeaGreen">'''''2022'''''</font>|<font color="SeaGreen">'''''12'''''</font>|<font color="SeaGreen">'''''31'''''</font>|<font color="SeaGreen">'''''https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2LSyNhb5Y'''''</font>|<font color="SeaGreen">'''''What if everyone pointed a laser at the moon?'''''</font>}}

===Add book chapter===
For the first [[What If? (book)|What If? book]]:
<nowiki>{{book|</nowiki><font color="SeaGreen">'''''1'''''</font>|<font color="SeaGreen">'''''CHAPTER-NUMBER'''''</font>}}

For the second [[What If? 2]] book:
<nowiki>{{book|</nowiki><font color="SeaGreen">'''''2'''''</font>|<font color="SeaGreen">'''''CHAPTER-NUMBER'''''</font>}}

'''EXAMPLE:'''<nowiki>{{book|</nowiki><font color="SeaGreen">'''''2'''''</font>|<font color="SeaGreen">'''''69'''''</font>}}

If an article is available exclusively on the third book ([[What If? 10th Anniversary Edition]]) and not in the first two, use this:
<nowiki>{{book|</nowiki><font color="SeaGreen">'''''3'''''</font>|<font color="SeaGreen">'''''CHAPTER-NUMBER'''''</font>}}<noinclude>

===Link to a ''what if?'' article===
On this wiki, an easy way to link to a given ''what if?'' article is by using the {{Template|what if}} template. Copy and paste the text below, correcting the number and title (highlighted in green) to get this result:

'''EXAMPLE:'''
See the <nowiki>''[[what if? (blog)|what if?]]'' article ''{{what if|</nowiki><font color="SeaGreen"><ins>'''''158'''''</ins></font>|<font color="SeaGreen"><ins>'''''Hot Banana'''''</ins></font>}}<nowiki>''</nowiki>.
'''RESULTS IN:'''
See the ''[[what if? (blog)|what if?]]'' article ''{{what if|158|Hot Banana}}''.

NOTE: Since the blog releases are now random, please write a comment on [[{{LATESTCOMIC}}#Discussion|the newest comic's talk page]] to announce that a new ''what if?'' article is out.

''[[#Article index|(jump back to table)]]''
[[Category:What If?| 9]]{{xkcdmeta}}

3034: Features of Adulthood

2025-01-12T19:13:36Z

Take The A Train To Watertown: /* Events */ Cool toys

{{comic
| number = 3034
| date = January 6, 2025
| title = Features of Adulthood
| image = features_of_adulthood_2x.png
| imagesize = 704x620px
| noexpand = true
| titletext = I don't dig pit traps and cover them with sticks and a thin layer of leaves nearly as much as I expected; I find a chance to do it barely once a month.
}}

==Explanation==
{{incomplete| Unexpectedly created by an adult BOT digging pit traps - Please change this comment when editing this page. Do NOT delete this tag too soon.}}

This comic is a graph comparing the (mostly) common ideas of adulthood from a young person's perspective with reality of it. The plot is fully populated, with many issues (both common and uncommon) matching expectations pretty well, as well as features that are much rarer than expected (like encounters with quicksand, crocodiles and explosives), and some very common issues that don't occur to young people, such as deciding what to eat, or dealing with weird noises and smells.

It is clear that much of the 'lower-right triangle' (things that don't come up nearly as often as expected) are ''direct'' references to fictional scenarios on film or TV, likely particularly the type of fiction that [[Randall]] consumed as a child (probably including cartoons and action movies). In contrast, the complimentary 'upper-left triangle' largely consists of the type of mundane adult activities that children don't see or notice in real life, and which often aren't interesting enough to be disproportionately common in fiction.

==Events==

{| class="wikitable"
! Event
! Expected frequency in adulthood
! Actual frequency in adulthood
! Notes
|-
| {{w|Eating utensil etiquette#Fork etiquette|Which fork you're supposed to use for what}}
| 0%
| 0%
| Traditional, formal dining involves {{w|Fork#Types of forks|different types of forks}} for different courses of a meal. Learning {{w|Table setting#Place setting|which fork to use}} for which course might be taught in {{w|etiquette school}}, and is perceived as a signifier of social class (though this is likely an exaggerated concern). Dining has generally become less formal in Western society since the mid-20th century; as a result, most people are used to only using a single fork, or at most two, for their meals. This means that, for most people, {{tvtropes|FormalFullArrayOfCutlery|the issue rarely comes up}}, even in adulthood.
|-
| {{tvtropes|CartoonBomb|Lit fuses}}
| 40%
| 0%
| Explosives with visible lit fuses are commonly seen in movies and TV shows, particularly in cartoons. In reality, the average person is unlikely to deal with explosives at all. When explosives are used, they're usually electrically detonated, or sometimes use a concealed fuse (e.g. {{w|grenade}}s). Visible, burning fuses are sufficiently obsolete that most people will never encounter them directly.
|-
| {{tvtropes|PalatePropping|Shoving a stick}} in a {{w|crocodile}}'s mouth to wedge it open
| 80%
| 0%
| Placing a vertical stick in a crocodile’s mouth is a popular TV trope to prevent the crocodile from {{w|Crocodile attack|biting down}} (usually on the stick placer). Crocodile attacks on humans are common only in specific geographical areas, meaning that most people will never encounter them. Even when such an encounter happens, using a stick in that way would almost certainly be ineffective.
|-
| {{w|Quicksand}}
| 100%
| 0%
| Quicksand is {{tvtropes|QuicksandSucks|common in adventure fiction}}, but it's quite rare in real life (nor does it generally behave the way it's depicted in such fiction). The average person is unlikely to ever encounter it.
|-
| {{w|Car chase}}s
| 35%
| 5%
| Car chases are frequently seen in movies and TV shows involving police, including real-life police shows, but unless you're a police officer or criminal trying to evade them, you'll probably never be involved in one.
|-
| {{w|Grappling hook}}s
| 100%
| 5%
| A grappling hook is a device, typically made of metal, with multiple hooks and features to allow it to be secured to the end of a rope. It can be thrown to either grab an object at a distance and pull it toward you, or to anchor the rope to an elevated point (such as on a cliff or building) to aid in climbing. The latter use is quite common in action and adventure fiction. While such devices do exist in real life, they generally have specialty uses that the average person is unlikely to have the need for.
|-
| People offering free drugs
| 30%
| 10%
| Children being warned about illicit drugs have often been cautioned that drug dealers would inevitably approach them and offer them free drugs, in order to encourage an addiction and gain a reliable customer. In real life, drug dealers virtually never work that way, and are unlikely to part with their product unless payment has been made. Most people are introduced to drugs by friends or acquaintances, who might offer some for free, but that's only likely in specific social groups and situations.
|-
| {{w|Parachute}}s
| 80%
| 10%
| {{w|Parachuting}} allows people to jump out of planes at altitude, or from other elevated heights, and slow their descent enough to land safely. This is dramatic enough to come up often in adventure fiction. Parachutes are, of course, used in real life, but most people will only have reason to use them if they put the money and effort into recreational skydiving or {{w|BASE jumping}}.
|-
| {{w|Barrels}}
| 95%
| 10%
| Wooden or {{w|Drum (container)|metal}} storage containers are frequently used as concealment, improvised weapons and (sometimes explosive) obstacles in popular media. While barrels are actually quite common, they're large enough that the majority of people rarely have a reason to interact with them, unless they happen to work in a job that either sells or uses liquids in large quantities.
|-
| {{w|Middle name}}s
| 15%
| 20%
| A second (or occasionally also third or more) {{w|given name}}, common in some traditions. In most Anglophone countries, having a middle name is common, but most people only use them in formal situations where a full name is required (as when filling out legal documents), or if they adopt the middle name to be known by (in which case, most people will not realise this). This is true to the point where most people don't know the middle names of most of their acquaintances, or even if they have one. In consequence, both as a child and as an adult, middle names will be encountered occasionally, but not regularly.
|-
| {{w|Food fight}}s
| 50%
| 20%
| A common trope in fiction has a young people eating together (often in a cafeteria), and someone playfully begins throwing food, causing others to retaliate, until the whole room devolves into a food fight. Such a fight is inherently messy and irresponsible, but is unlikely to actually hurt anyone seriously, and so represents youthful hijinks. Such events aren't unknown in real life, but aren't necessarily pleasant (food is wasted and people might miss their meal as a result, you might end up covered in food all day, clean-up is a big job, punishments are likely to be handed out, and clothes might be permanently stained), so they aren't nearly as common as someone raised on fiction might imagine. Adults are most likely to encounter them being indulged in by the children in their life, rather than taking part themselves.
|-
| {{tvtropes|TwinSwitch|Twins switching places}}
| 90%
| 20%
| In fiction, if a pair of identical twins are introduced, it's almost inevitable that they'll trade places at some point, each trying to pass for the other, whether as a prank, or for some more serious purpose (a version of {{w|Chekhov's gun}}). Actual identical twins are quite rare (roughly 1 in 300 live births), even identical twins might not look exactly alike, and many twins get tired of being confused for one another at a young age, and so have no interest trying to trade places as adults. Frankly, a real life percentage above 0% may be a joke.
|-
| {{w|Flat tire}}s
| 10%
| 25%
| Anyone who drives or rides a vehicle with tires faces the possibility of a tire going flat, due to either wear or road damage. This is usually merely an inconvenience, as it requires stopping to change or patch the tire, but a person lacking the knowledge or equipment to do so might have to call for help and/or be stranded until help arrives. Young people tend to be aware of this possibility, but it may happen a bit more often than they'd expect.
|-
| {{w|Briefcase}}s
| 70%
| 25%
| Frequently used to carry documents and other small office equipment, they've historically been treated as part of the standard kit for a white collar worker. In fiction, they are often portrayed as {{tvtropes|BriefcaseFullOfMoney|a means to carry a large amount of cash}}, {{tvtropes|BriefcaseBlaster|conceal a firearm}}, or a {{tvtropes|MacGuffin}}. The popularity of briefcases has been declining after the 1980s. In modern times, documents are likely to be kept digitally and people are far more likely to carry a laptop bag for work than a briefcase.
|-
| {{w|Martial arts}}
| 95%
| 25%
| A child raised on action films and TV shows may assume that use of martial arts is a normal part of life for most adults. In reality, most adults aren't trained in martial arts, and those who are very rarely use them in an actual fight. Martial arts are generally encountered only in classes or competitions set up specifically for it.
|-
| {{w|Water damage}}
| 0%
| 25%
| Water getting into the wrong places can be a serious problem, causing damage to homes and other buildings, vehicles, infrastructure, and all kinds of property. Such damage can happen without much warning, can be hard to detect at first, and can be hard to deal with. While precautions are usually taken to prevent such things from getting wet, water incursion can still happen, due to weather events, flooding, plumbing leaks, accidental spills, and even condensation. Children are likely to be entirely unaware of this, but many adults have to deal with it at some point in their lives.
|-
| {{w|Backpack}}s
|
|
| Backpacks of various sizes are a versatile means to carry items. They are almost as popular in real life as in fiction, though the contents may be somewhat different.
|-
| My {{w|Transcript (education)|academic record}}
| 95%
| 30%
| A child's life revolves around school: it's where they spend a large fraction of their waking hours, classmates make up most of their social circle, class schedules dictate when and how they spend their free time, and parental figures often punish/reward children based on their academic performance. The child may assume that school will continue to be an ever-present all-ecompassing feature of their future life, with their grades constituting a "permanent record" that will follow them into adulthood.
In reality, academic records aren't anywhere near that important. Some entry-level jobs may consider a candidate's past grades, but they're a tertiary concern after job interviews and professional references. By the time a person reaches their late 20s, academic records become irrelevant and are supplanted by the person's professional résumé.
|-
| {{w|Adhesive}}s
| 15%
| 50%
| Adhesives such as {{w|glue}}, {{w|adhesive tape|tape}} and {{w|epoxy resin}} are used to bond items together, typically for use in arts and crafts. They also have widespread industrial applications.
|-
| {{w|Board game}}s
|
|
| Board games of various kinds (such as {{w|chess}}, {{w|checkers|checkers/draughts}}, {{w|Monopoly (game)|Monopoly}}, {{w|Parcheesi}}/{{w|Ludo}}, {{w|Risk (game)|Risk}}, {{w|Snakes & Ladders}}, {{w|Cluedo|Clue/Cluedo}}, {{w|Trivial Pursuit}} or [https://boardgamegeek.com/boardgame/3149/lost-valley-of-the-dinosaurs Lost Valley of the Dinosaurs]) were often a staple for family home entertainment, in the past. Although they still may exist, possibly at the back of a cupboard, the ubiquitous nature of video games and other entertainments may have suppressed the opportunity for the adults and/or children to unbox them to while away the hours during a rainy afternoon or provide fireside entertainment for the family and its guests between the evening meal and supper.
Ironically, many classic boardgames have often been converted to video games, either as faithful reproductions (that may even enable online play and remote participation) or just as a nostalgic/premade thematic flavor as applied to a largely solo screenbound distraction.
|-
| Tying {{w|knot}}s
| 85%
| 40%
| There are a large number of knots, with a similar variety of uses. Knowing the right types of knots can be highly useful in certain situations, but how often those situations come up heavily depends on individual circumstances. Camping, fishing and rock-climbing require tying specialty knots quite frequently, but for people who don't have such hobbies, their use is less common. The high expected frequency suggests that [[Randall]] was encouraged to learn knots as a child, possible due to involvement in {{w|scouting}}, or some other outdoor activity, and the emphasis suggested that they'd come up a lot. When interest in knot-heavy activities wanes, the application of knots tends to fall off as well.
|-
| {{w|Cable management}}
| 0%
| 50%
| Cable management is the act of tidying up the cables in and around a computer or other device, which is an annoying but often required task for most adults. Most children are never involved in this task, and don't even realize that it exists until they're old enough to both be responsible for significant electronics and care about tidiness.
|-
| {{w|Laser}}s
| 90%
| 50%
|Lasers are common in sci-fi and spy stories, but are much less commonly interacted with in real life. However, in real life, they are a very interesting technology and equipment, and something Randall is interested in, so he is likely to interact with lasers much more than the average person. For a time, many people interacted with lasers on a regular basis (albeit without necessarily being aware of it), as they are used to read data from optical media such as DVDs and Blu-ray. As these media have fallen out of favour, the amount of these interactions will have reduced.
|-
| Dangerous driving situations
|
|
|
|-
| {{w|Pizza}}
| 55%
| 55%
| In the US, pizza is commonly consumed as a takeout or delivery food. it's often a favorite food for children, and is often a favorite of child-oriented characters, such as {{w|Spider-Man}} and the {{w|Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles}}. Since it's convenient, filling, tasty and inexpensive, adults tend to enjoy it as well, and some eat is just as frequently as they might have expected as children.
|-
| {{w|Star Wars}}
| 80%
| 55%
| The Star Wars franchise began with the release of the eponymous film in 1977, which was followed by two sequels, and ultimately spawned a media empire of films, television shows, books, video games and merchandising which continues to this day. The series has always had appeal to both children and adults. As a childhood fan, [[Randall]] evidently expected the franchise to continue to be of importance when he was an adult. While it apparently isn't quite as prominent in his adult life as he might have expected, the franchise continues to be a significant feature in popular culture, and he seemingly [[:Category:Star Wars|remains a fan]], even decades later.
|-
| Cool toys
| 95%
| 55%
| Children love to play with cool toys, and naïvely assume they always will. Many adults still buy cool toys, but don't play with them in order to collect them in the best condition as status symbols.
|-
| {{w|Weather forecast}}s
| 10%
| 60%
| Children generally have very little interest in weather forecasts, outside of exceptional circumstances (such as snow days, or extreme weather events). [[Randall]], as an adult, takes an avid interest weather and process of forecasting it, and has created [[:Category:Weather|multiple strips dealing with the topic.]]
|-
| {{w|Batteries}}
|
|
|
|-
| {{w|Power tools}}
|
|
|
|-
| {{w|Video game}}s
| 60%
| 75%
| During [[Randall]]'s childhood, video games were a relatively new technology, and were often dismissed as juvenile and pointless. With the passage of time, they've become increasingly common as a pastime for adults. Given the increasing complexity of electronic games, it's not uncommon for adults to spend more time on them than children.
|-
| Figuring out what to have for dinner
| 10%
| 85%
| For many children, dinner is something that just 'arrives', having been decided on and prepared by the relevant caregiver. The simple function of making a decision probably seems trivial to children, but planning meals every day (possibly multiple times a day), involves accounting for such factors as nutrition, cost, availability of ingredients, the time and effort involved (with respect to everyone's schedules) and individual taste and possible dietary restrictions (which can become complex when dealing with multiple people). Most people also want variety in their meals, so repeating a small number of dishes can quickly become boring, but managing a large number of dishes presents more challenges. This process can take up far more mental bandwidth than children are ever aware of. Additionally, the range of foodstuffs available to affluent people in Western societies has significantly increased since Randall's childhood, which may induce choice paralysis when confronted with them.
|-
| {{w|Heating, ventilation and air conditioning|HVAC}} issues
| 20%
| 80%
| HVAC is an acronym that stands for 'heating, ventilation and air conditioning.' If one owns a home, problems with the heater or air conditioner can quickly make your home very uncomfortable (too cold in the winter or too hot in the summer) and becomes something you have to deal with right away. This kind of home maintenance is often virtually invisible to children, but something adults have to think about far more frequently
|-
| {{w|Cooking}}
|
|
|
|-
| Secret {{w|password}}s
| 60%
| 90%
| Traditionally, in fiction, secret passwords have been portrayed as used for purposes such as espionage and admission to secret clubs. Children, accordingly, tend to think of them as an exciting part of adult life. In modern times, most people use secret passwords on a daily basis, but for more mundane purposes such as accessing websites and voicemail. Managing multiple passwords tends to become a chore, rather than a source of intrigue.
|-
| Laundry
|
|
|
|-
| {{w|Tax}}es
| 100%
| 85%
| One of two inevitable things in life, {{w|Death and taxes (idiom)|the other being death}}
|-
| Customer service
|
|
|
|-
| Shopping
| 100%
| 90%
|
|-
| Unexplained smells or noises
| 5%
| 100%
| With relatively few exceptions, children tend to be oblivious to subtle noises or smells around them. Adults, however, tend to be aware that they can potentially be serious. A strange smell might indicate anything from a fire to a gas leak to mold to vehicle problems, while strange sounds could indicate mechanical or electrical problems (in a building or vehicle), or any number of other dangers. Of course, such things could also be unimportant, but that's difficult to know until you've found the source, which can be difficult to do. As a result, adults may spend a lot more time thinking about such things than children would ever expect.
|-
| Pocket radio communicators
| 75%
| 100%
| When [[Randall]] was growing up, the pocket radio communicators were mostly seen in spy fiction or science fiction, and children often dreamed of a day when such devices were available to them. In the 21st century, the ubiquity of {{w|cell phone}}s and other electronic devices means that having, carrying, and using such communicators is a nearly universal experience.
|-
| Bills
| 90%
| 100%
| Most households have to contend with electricity, water and telecommunication service bills. Children will often hear their parents complaining about having to deal with bills, and will generally find out that this task is just as common as it was presented.
|-
| Digging {{w|pit trap}}s (title text)
| N/A
| N/A
| Inside the Star Destroyer in [[1608: Hoverboard]] we see [https://www.explainxkcd.com/wiki/images/f/fd/1608_1055x1090y_Trap_covered_with_leaves_and_flying_Ponytail_at_bottom_of_hull.png Cueball cover a pit trap with leaves], so this is something Randall actually thinks about sometimes!
|}

==Transcript==
{{incomplete transcript|Do NOT delete this tag too soon.}}

:[Shown is a scatter plot, with arrowed labels on the axes:]
:Y axis label: How often it comes up in my adult life
:X axis label: How often I expected it to come up in my adult life

:[First row of items (comes up very often, from least to most expected):]
:Unexplained smells or noises; customer service; pocket radio communicators; bills; shopping
:[Items row by row from the second row onwards:]
:Figuring out what to have for dinner; HVAC issues; secret passwords; laundry; cooking; taxes
:Weather forecasts; batteries; video games; power tools
:Cable management; dangerous driving situations; pizza; Star Wars; lasers; cool toys
:Adhesives; board games; tying knots
:Water damage; backpacks; my academic record
:Flat tires; briefcases; martial arts
:Middle names; people offering free drugs; food fights; parachutes; twins switching places; barrels
:[Last row (comes up very rarely, from least to most expected):]
:Which fork you're supposed to use for what; car chases; lit fuses; shoving a stick in a crocodile's mouth to wedge it open; grappling hooks; quicksand

{{comic discussion}}

[[Category:Scatter plots]]
[[Category:Food]]
[[Category:Weather]]
[[Category:Star Wars]]
[[Category:Video games]]
[[Category:Board games]]
[[Category:Animals]]

3030: Lasering Incidents

2024-12-28T02:39:05Z

Take The A Train To Watertown: Drone sightings and Thing Explainer

{{comic
| number = 3030
| date = December 27, 2024
| title = Lasering Incidents
| image = lasering_incidents_2x.png
| imagesize = 444x479px
| noexpand = true
| titletext = I still don't know how the police found my compound where I ran an illegal searchlight depot/covert blimp airfield/fireworks testing range.
}}

==Explanation==
{{incomplete|Created by a BOT EQUIPPED WITH A LASER POINTER - Please change this comment when editing this page. Do NOT delete this tag too soon.}}

This comic is about pointing lasers at aircraft, which is a [https://www.faa.gov/about/initiatives/lasers#:~:text=Pointing%20a%20laser%20at%20an,%2430%2C800%20for%20multiple%20laser%20incidents. federal crime]. It points out that when a laser is pointed at an aircraft, the pilot or anyone else on board can see a glowing line in the color of the laser exactly pinpointing the location of the perpetrator. Therefore, no one guilty of this crime should really be surprised when they are caught and fined up to $11,000 USD. This is a response to the {{w|2024 United States drone sightings}}, during which many people in New Jersey collectively forgot what a plane is and started pointing laser pointers at them.

The title text parodies this kind of crime by describing a criminal activity which also points to itself, namely illegal fireworks testing, blimp airfield, and searchlight depot, all of which create large markers visible from the air.

==Transcript==
{{incomplete transcript|Do NOT delete this tag too soon.}}

:[In a single comic panel that has a black background, there is a glowing green laser beam that starts in the upper left of the panel and ends near the lower right. An arrow in the label is pointing to a point that has spikes of green light glowing out. The label is in green and written alongside the laser beam.]
:<span style="color:#39FF14"><u>Someone is committing a federal crime right here→</u></span>

:[Caption below the panel:]
:I don’t know why people who shine lasers at aircraft are surprised when the police catch them, given that the crime consists of drawing a giant glowing arrow in the sky pointing at your location.

==Trivia==
The point of this comic has been previously addressed in [[Thing Explainer]].
:<b>POINT A GREEN LIGHT AT SPACE</b>
:You can use a green light pointer to point out stars to your friends. When you do this, it looks really cool, like you're holding a stick that's touching a spot on the sky.
:Be very careful <i>never</i> to point it at sky boats. It's against the law, and the police lock up many people every year for it. And if you try, you'll be easy to find, because of the bright green line pointing to you.
::<i>-The Sky At Night</i>

{{comic discussion}}

[[Category:Comics with inverted brightness]]
[[Category:Comics with color]]

Talk:3029: Sun Avoidance

2024-12-26T08:43:00Z

Take The A Train To Watertown:

My first time editing the BOT name. [[User:Barmar|Barmar]] ([[User talk:Barmar|talk]]) 01:39, 26 December 2024 (UTC)
:Maybe change it to BOT GETTING NOTHING BUT SUNBURN FOR CHRISTMAS? [[Special:Contributions/198.41.227.177|198.41.227.177]] 03:47, 26 December 2024 (UTC)

Nothing for Christmas? xkcd has fallen [[User:Pie Guy|Pie Guy]] ([[User talk:Pie Guy|talk]]) 02:26, 26 December 2024 (UTC)
:Comic 3000 didn't have anything special for it either. Lame! [[Special:Contributions/172.70.210.68|172.70.210.68]] 03:44, 26 December 2024 (UTC)
:Well, Hannukah is the feast of lights, and Christians say Jesus is The Light, so it kind of fits. Kind of. [[Special:Contributions/198.41.227.177|198.41.227.177]] 03:50, 26 December 2024 (UTC)
XKCD wishes you a merry NOTHING and a happy new NOTHING. Hope you get lots of NOTHING this NOTHING! Remember to spend lots of NOTHING with your NOTHING! [[Special:Contributions/172.70.211.233|172.70.211.233]] 03:34, 26 December 2024 (UTC)

"This would be difficult, since at Parker's aphelion (furthest distance from the Sun in its orbit) it's still only about 7 million km, 35 million km from Solar Orbiter's orbit (and the probes would be much further apart if they're not on the same side of the Sun at the time)." -- What does aligning the probes have to do with the title text? Isn't the nudge at the aphelion meant to lower the perihelion into the Sun? (and not have anything to do with the proximity of the two probes) --[[User:Sophon|Sophon]] ([[User talk:Sophon|talk]]) 05:22, 26 December 2024 (UTC)

This explanation is not correct: at aphelion (further's point to the sun) Parker's is close to Venus orbit (~100 million km). Solar Orbiter's perihelion (closest point to the sun) is well below Mercury's orbit. There will regularly be at the same distance from the sun but very likely on different sides of the sun making virtually impossible any interactions between them as suggested by the title text. --[[Special:Contributions/162.158.39.165|162.158.39.165]] 06:10, 26 December 2024 (UTC)

Would the top five of the Sun Avoidance leaderboard be Voyager 1, Voyager 2, Pioneer 10, Pioneer 11, and New Horizons [[User:Take The A Train To Watertown|Take The A Train To Watertown]] ([[User talk:Take The A Train To Watertown|talk]]) 08:41, 26 December 2024 (UTC)

Talk:3029: Sun Avoidance

2024-12-26T08:42:12Z

Take The A Train To Watertown:

My first time editing the BOT name. [[User:Barmar|Barmar]] ([[User talk:Barmar|talk]]) 01:39, 26 December 2024 (UTC)
:Maybe change it to BOT GETTING NOTHING BUT SUNBURN FOR CHRISTMAS? [[Special:Contributions/198.41.227.177|198.41.227.177]] 03:47, 26 December 2024 (UTC)

Nothing for Christmas? xkcd has fallen [[User:Pie Guy|Pie Guy]] ([[User talk:Pie Guy|talk]]) 02:26, 26 December 2024 (UTC)
:Comic 3000 didn't have anything special for it either. Lame! [[Special:Contributions/172.70.210.68|172.70.210.68]] 03:44, 26 December 2024 (UTC)
:Well, Hannukah is the feast of lights, and Christians say Jesus is The Light, so it kind of fits. Kind of. [[Special:Contributions/198.41.227.177|198.41.227.177]] 03:50, 26 December 2024 (UTC)
XKCD wishes you a merry NOTHING and a happy new NOTHING. Hope you get lots of NOTHING this NOTHING! Remember to spend lots of NOTHING with your NOTHING! [[Special:Contributions/172.70.211.233|172.70.211.233]] 03:34, 26 December 2024 (UTC)

"This would be difficult, since at Parker's aphelion (furthest distance from the Sun in its orbit) it's still only about 7 million km, 35 million km from Solar Orbiter's orbit (and the probes would be much further apart if they're not on the same side of the Sun at the time)." -- What does aligning the probes have to do with the title text? Isn't the nudge at the aphelion meant to lower the perihelion into the Sun? (and not have anything to do with the proximity of the two probes) --[[User:Sophon|Sophon]] ([[User talk:Sophon|talk]]) 05:22, 26 December 2024 (UTC)

This explanation is not correct: at aphelion (further's point to the sun) Parker's is close to Venus orbit (~100 million km). Solar Orbiter's perihelion (closest point to the sun) is well below Mercury's orbit. There will regularly be at the same distance from the sun but very likely on different sides of the sun making virtually impossible any interactions between them as suggested by the title text. --[[Special:Contributions/162.158.39.165|162.158.39.165]] 06:10, 26 December 2024 (UTC)

Would the top five of the Sun Avoidance leaderboard be Voyager 1, Voyager 2, Pioneer 10, Pioneer 11, and New Horizone [[User:Take The A Train To Watertown|Take The A Train To Watertown]] ([[User talk:Take The A Train To Watertown|talk]]) 08:41, 26 December 2024 (UTC)

Talk:3029: Sun Avoidance

2024-12-26T08:41:46Z

Take The A Train To Watertown:

My first time editing the BOT name. [[User:Barmar|Barmar]] ([[User talk:Barmar|talk]]) 01:39, 26 December 2024 (UTC)
:Maybe change it to BOT GETTING NOTHING BUT SUNBURN FOR CHRISTMAS? [[Special:Contributions/198.41.227.177|198.41.227.177]] 03:47, 26 December 2024 (UTC)

Nothing for Christmas? xkcd has fallen [[User:Pie Guy|Pie Guy]] ([[User talk:Pie Guy|talk]]) 02:26, 26 December 2024 (UTC)
:Comic 3000 didn't have anything special for it either. Lame! [[Special:Contributions/172.70.210.68|172.70.210.68]] 03:44, 26 December 2024 (UTC)
:Well, Hannukah is the feast of lights, and Christians say Jesus is The Light, so it kind of fits. Kind of. [[Special:Contributions/198.41.227.177|198.41.227.177]] 03:50, 26 December 2024 (UTC)
XKCD wishes you a merry NOTHING and a happy new NOTHING. Hope you get lots of NOTHING this NOTHING! Remember to spend lots of NOTHING with your NOTHING! [[Special:Contributions/172.70.211.233|172.70.211.233]] 03:34, 26 December 2024 (UTC)

"This would be difficult, since at Parker's aphelion (furthest distance from the Sun in its orbit) it's still only about 7 million km, 35 million km from Solar Orbiter's orbit (and the probes would be much further apart if they're not on the same side of the Sun at the time)." -- What does aligning the probes have to do with the title text? Isn't the nudge at the aphelion meant to lower the perihelion into the Sun? (and not have anything to do with the proximity of the two probes) --[[User:Sophon|Sophon]] ([[User talk:Sophon|talk]]) 05:22, 26 December 2024 (UTC)

This explanation is not correct: at aphelion (further's point to the sun) Parker's is close to Venus orbit (~100 million km). Solar Orbiter's perihelion (closest point to the sun) is well below Mercury's orbit. There will regularly be at the same distance from the sun but very likely on different sides of the sun making virtually impossible any interactions between them as suggested by the title text. --[[Special:Contributions/162.158.39.165|162.158.39.165]] 06:10, 26 December 2024 (UTC)
Would the top five of the Sun Avoidance leaderboard be Voyager 1, Voyager 2, Pioneer 10, Pioneer 11, and New Horizone [[User:Take The A Train To Watertown|Take The A Train To Watertown]] ([[User talk:Take The A Train To Watertown|talk]]) 08:41, 26 December 2024 (UTC)

2377: xkcd Phone 12

2024-11-05T03:48:37Z

Take The A Train To Watertown: /* Explanation */ Extended release charge cable

{{comic
| number = 2377
| date = October 26, 2020
| title = xkcd Phone 12
| image = xkcd_phone_12.png
| titletext = New phone OS features: Infinite customization (home screen icons no longer snap to grid), dark mode (disables screen), screaming mode (self-explanatory), and coherent ultracapacitor-pumped emission (please let us know what this setting does; we've been afraid to try it).
}}

==Explanation==
This is the "12th" (actually the 8th) in the ongoing [[:Category:xkcd Phones|xkcd Phone]] series in which Randall explains his new joke phone designs with many strange and useless features. It is also a reference to the recently released {{w|iPhone 12}}. However, there have only been 8 comics released, with the previous two being [[2000: xkcd Phone 2000]] and [[1889: xkcd Phone 6]].

The note about the xkcd Phone 12 and the xkcd Phone 12 Max (only for people named Max) is a joke about the different models of iPhone 12: iPhone 12, iPhone 12 Mini, iPhone 12 Pro and iPhone 12 Pro Max. The xkcd Phone 12 Max would be expected to have a larger screen, but it seems that this phone is also only for people with the name Max. If the phones are respectively placed, Max's (Maxes'?) phone is the smaller of the two models.

The tagline '"The only phone you'll ever own"' could be interpreted as something of a threat, which is believable given some of the purported features. It is similar to the phrase ''"The last suit you'll ever wear"'', describing the black suits worn by the ''Men in Black'' in the movie of the same name. The slogan has the "registered trademark" symbol, which appears to itself be trademarked, which is highly unlikely.

Multiple features are labelled on the phone that are common when advertising other products, but highly unusual in mobile phones, for comedic effect.

; Full drivetrain warranty

: A common warranty feature for automobiles — see {{w|drivetrain}}. As a side note, the phone here would be cheaping out on the warranty if it were a car; a "drivetrain" warranty covers almost everything ''except'' the engine; only if it were a "{{w|powertrain}}" warranty would it cover the engine. A phone typically has none of these things, although this one seemingly does.

; Coated for easy swallowing

: A common feature on solid medicines meant to be taken orally. Phones do not belong in the set of edible objects, much less orally taken medicines{{Citation needed}}. Since some parents of young children let them teethe on their phones, this would be an undesirable feature. Since these coatings tend to be lubricants, it's also possible this "feature" makes the phone harder to hold. There may be a pun here, based on the larger smartphones being practically the same as the more {{w|Tablet_computer|minimal portable computers}}.

; Surgical-grade apps

: "Surgical-grade steel" is sometime used as a selling point indicating quality materials. This feature suggests that the apps themselves are made from high-quality material, although this is absurd because an app is (as the name suggests) a software application, not any physical object that could be reasonably defined as 'surgical grade' or not. Note that both hardware and software can be certified for {{w|Safety-critical_system|safety-critical applications}}.

; Built-in 600 lb magnet for magnet fishing

: {{w|Magnet fishing}} is an activity for searching for objects that can be pulled in by a strong magnet. A 600-pound magnet can lift a 600-pound (272 kg) object (at Earth's surface). This would tend to make the phone stick to any iron or steel objects (such as refrigerators) and be impossible to remove with human strength, and only the strongest humans could pick up the phone even if it were properly insulated. It would also be impossible to separate two phones without destroying one of them if the interlocking feature were used. This feature would also erase any credit cards the owner puts in the vicinity of the phone, meaning this phone could not be put in one's pocket with a wallet. There is also a possibility that this is a reference to Apple’s {{w|MagSafe}} accessory.

; Oral-B partnership<nowiki>:</nowiki> hold phone against teeth to ultrasonically remove plaque

: This is a reference to {{w|ultrasonic toothbrush}}es. {{w|Oral-B}} does not produce any ultrasonic toothbrushes but does produce ''{{w|sonic toothbrush}}es.'' There is a logical connection between electric toothbrushes and smartphones, namely they are both electronic and both vibrate; however, most phones cannot perform dentistry autonomously{{Citation needed}}.

; 40 mL emergency water supply

: 40 milliliters are equal to 40 cubic centimeters. For comparison, an average shot glass holds about 44 milliliters of liquid, and the iPhone 11 Pro Max's volume is just shy of 100 cubic centimeters; if the Phone 12 Max is similarly sized to its iPhone counterpart, then the water supply would take up over 40% of its total volume. In this day and age, many phones are water-resistant to some degree; nevertheless, shipping a phone with an interior consisting of a 3:2 ratio of electronics-to-water will surely lead to many short-circuited, inoperable phones.<br/>Furthermore, {{w|survival kit}}s often come with pouches that can hold several liters of water, in case of emergency. Because people typically take their phones with them everywhere they go, storing a survival kit inside the phone would be a life-saving feature. Unfortunately, 40cc of water is not enough to stave off thirst for a meaningful amount of time, extinguish a flame much larger than a candle's, or deal with most other situations which would constitute an emergency. Unless you are suitably proficient at {{w|Katara_(Avatar:_The_Last_Airbender)#Waterbending|waterbending}}, this feature is useless for its intended function.

; Security feature<nowiki>:</nowiki> unmarked side buttons

: Some vendors (particularly car dealers) try to explain away questionable User Interface decisions as "Security Features". Technically, if everyone (including the owner) has difficulty using it, it is secure... Here, no buttons are visible which could indicate they are, in fact, simply a touch sensitive surface, which would certainly be difficult to use as users would have to guess the area they should touch to use these "buttons"; the question of what security benefit this would bring exactly is also unanswered. This might be a reference to a feature present in iPhone 12s where one can double-tap on the back to do a set action, which some websites have called a "[https://metro.co.uk/2020/10/28/how-to-find-the-secret-button-on-the-iphone-12-13493472/ secret button]".

; 3,000,000-volt arc allows wireless charging from a range of up to 36 inches

: {{w|Inductive charging|Induction charging}} is a method that a number of modern phones advertise, allowing power to (inefficiently but 'conveniently') transfer into a device from a mains charging station or another device's battery without the need for plugging in cables. It transfers energy between safely tuned coils, that do not touch, though typically the case of one device must remain placed directly upon the other for the optimal transfer of charge between them. An electric arc can also be used to transfer electrical energy through the air through a lightning-like discharge. While arcs can transfer large amounts of energy quickly, the plasma generated would be very dangerous and damaging to the phone, charger, and immediate vicinity. The {{w|electrical breakdown}} voltage of air is approximately 3 kV / mm, which would allow a 3 MV potential to jump a distance of 100 cm (40 inches). 36 inches (91 cm), however, is within reach of a simple extension cord. {{w|Electrical_injury#Lethality|Shocks of 11,000 volts are usually lethal}}, so 3,000,000 volts of electricity (possibly from a complete {{w|Tesla coil}} assemblage) would require considerable protection.

; 99.9% BPA- and hands- free

: {{w|Bisphenol A}} (or BPA) is a compound that is used in making plastics. BPA has been found to exhibit hormone-like properties, so there is a movement to produce BPA-free plastics using alternative bisphenols. {{w|Hands-free}} describes using the device "without hands", e.g. using voice commands. This is important when using a device while driving. These are 2 unrelated ideas, which use the suffix "free" in different meanings ("BPA-free" means "containing no BPA", while "hands-free" means "your hands need not be used"). The construction "NOUN- and NOUN-ADJ" is normally only used with the meaning of "ADJ" repeated for both nouns, implying that this phone "contains no hands" (or possibly "your BPA is left free"). The "percentage free" description is also a standard form of advertising {{w|weasel word}}s, as remarked by Randall in [[641: Free]]. A food might be described as "90% fat-free" with the heavy implication that it has a tenth of the usual fat content, but likely really means "10% of the product is pure fat" (typically by weight or maybe pre-cooked volume) compared with perhaps 15% in the typical non-'fat-free' recipe. 0.1% of BPA is not an insignificant quantity given its possible effects, and is likely to be a higher leachable content if it is all concentrated in external trimmings. It is unclear what a tenth of a percent of a hand needs to do, to operate the device, but it does also mean that it is not as completely hands-free as implied. Or else it ''also'' implies that up to 0.1% of the phone contains ingredients sourced from human hands. At best, this could be skin cells from the workers (although phone assembly lines ''should'' be kept meticulously clean, to prevent damage to delicate components), or at worst, some workers could be losing hands into the assembly line due to poor safety practices.

; Extended release charge cable

: Electronics manufacturers support standards to reduce time to fully recharge, e.g. Qualcomm {{w|Quick Charge}} standard. This is a reference to {{w|Modified-release dosage|"extended release" medication}}. Some phones have a setting to charge slower than normal so that if plugged in at bedtime it will be full by morning, in order to conserve the battery's long-term capacity.

; Closed timelike curves

: This label is applied to the curved corner of the phone. Randall may be making a visual joke by referring to the corner of the phone by a relativistic concept. {{w|Closed timelike curves}} is a world line in spacetime that is "closed", in that an object following that world line will return to its starting point in spacetime, which implies that the object would be able to go back in time. It could also be a reference to the [https://www.bloomberg.com/news/articles/2020-04-13/apple-plans-ipad-like-design-for-next-iphone-smaller-homepod|''Bloomberg'' leaks] that predicted the sharper corners of the iPhone 12, the phone model this is designed on.

; Fits in standard shipping container

: An {{w|intermodal shipping container}} is large enough to fit automobiles, raising the question of just how big this xkcd phone is. Other standard "containers" used for shipping items might be things like the FedEx, UPS, and USPS boxes, which often come in various sizes (small, medium, large) as well as their shipping envelopes, all of which could easily hold just about any phone that's out there.

; Interlocking, stackable

: A quality of, among other things, LEGO bricks. Probably a bad idea to use this feature, given how close the phone is to critical mass. There are electronic boards designed for interlocking and stacking, such as {{w|Arduino}} and {{w|Raspberry Pi}} computers, which can have other boards attached to them (shields, hats) to add functionality, however it's unclear what advantage there would be to stacking multiple identical phones together.

; Nintendo partnership<nowiki>:</nowiki> GameBoy Printer compatibility

: The {{w|Game Boy Printer}} was a thermal paper printer originally paired with the {{w|Game Boy Camera}}. This device was released in 1998 and discontinued in 2003, so this partnership would be obsolete.

; Sustain pedal

: A {{w|sustain pedal}} is commonly associated with a digital keyboard or piano; it lets the note continue sounding when the key is released. It's unclear what purpose it would serve in a phone, although it might be used for the screaming mode in the title text.

; CDC partnership<nowiki>:</nowiki> when in an indoor space with too many people, phone begins playing "We Like To Party! (The Vengabus)" at slowly increasing volume until everyone leaves

: An allusion to the COVID-19 pandemic. CDC stands for Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, the United States public health institute. In [[2284: Sabotage]], Randall "promised" to bring an annoying karaoke song to a party to hopefully discourage people from attending, but this phone will apparently do so automatically. "{{w|We Like to Party! (Vengaboys song)|We Like To Party! (The Vengabus)}}" is a 1998 Eurodance/techno hit by the Vengaboys, and is perhaps most familiar to Americans from a series of {{w|Six Flags}} ads. This is probably a reference to [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7QxWNlGHb7Y&t=35 this segment] from episode 398 of the podcast {{w|My Brother, My Brother and Me}}, which Randall is a fan of, as shown in [[2312: mbmbam]].

; Sacrificial anode

: Useful if something metal will be in a wet environment for a long time. Commonly used on bridges and boats, but it may be a 'feature' of this phone because of its built-in water reservoir. The {{w|sacrificial anode}} is made of a material with higher redox potential (typically zinc) and will corrode faster than the (more valuable) metal object it's attached to. It's unclear if the phone HAS a sacrificial anode or IS a sacrificial anode.

; Tactical helium reserve

: Since 1925, the United States has had a {{w|National Helium Reserve|strategic helium reserve}}. Helium is very rare on earth and has important scientific and military uses, so it’s important to have a supply in case supplies disappear. But here we have a tactical helium reserve, which suggests it's smaller and focused on shorter-term goals. Compare {{w|strategic bombing}} focused on destroying entire cities or countries and {{w|tactical bombing}} aimed at destroying individual targets or military units. Helium also has the property of being lighter than air, so if this reserve is large enough, the phone could float away if let go. However, this is unlikely, as the phone boasts other, heavy components such as large magnets, a water reserve, and a critical mass of fissile material.

; 50% below critical mass (2x safety factor)

: Indicates the phone contains fissile material. This "2x safety factor" means that if you put 2 phones next to each other or put one phone next to a {{w|neutron reflector}}, you would have a {{w|criticality accident}}, which may explain why you would not own another phone after this one. A phone with this much fissile material would pose a radiation hazard. The "2x safety factor" claim may be related to physicist {{w|Richard Feynman|Richard Feynman's}} famous criticism of NASA in the {{w|Rogers Commission}} report on the space shuttle Challenger disaster. Feynman found that when he confronted NASA engineers with a part worn one third of the way through, which was not supposed to be worn through at all, the engineers claimed that this demonstrated a 3x safety factor rather than a failure of the part. This could mean that using the phone is harmful for some other reason (social media addiction?) but the xkcd phone has half as many users as it would need to cause a problem in this way.

; Shake for factory reset

: A {{w|factory reset}} is often possible on electronic devices and is usually accomplished either by pressing a button that is often well-protected against accidental contact, for an extended period or closing an electrical bridge. This one works like an {{w|Etch A Sketch|Etch-a-Sketch}}, which would not be preferred, as [http://www.ahajokes.com/com045.html slight disturbances] could easily cause massive losses of data. In the other hand, given that it weighs at least 600 lbs, it will probably not be shaking due to a user intentionally trying to delete their data.

; Norton MacAfee protection<nowiki>:</nowiki> if you're ever attacked by John MacAfee, Peter Norton will come out of retirement to defend you

: {{w|Norton (software)|Norton}} and {{w|McAfee}} (note spelling) are competing software security companies, founded by {{w|Peter Norton}} and {{w|John McAfee}} respectively (though neither has any involvement with their name-sake companies anymore). This "protection" combines the two of them and claims that Norton (the person) will defend you if McAfee (the person) attacks you. May have been inspired by [https://www.nytimes.com/2020/10/06/business/mcafee-arrested-tax-evasion.html John McAfee's recent arrest] which brought attention to the allegation that he had hired a hit man to kill his neighbor in Belize in 2012.

The title text mentions xkcd phone OS updates, including:

; Infinite customization (home screen icons no longer snap to grid)

: iOS 14 offers new features such as widgets on the home screen and changing of app icons, allowing for customization on a level not seen before on the platform. Here though, the "customization" hinges on a technicality, specifically of permutations: On a phone with, say, one million pixels, the number of ways one can place 20 icons is P(1000000,20)=9.998x10^119, an absolutely enormous number, but most people would not call two home screens where the only difference is that one icon is one pixel over a different configuration. Plus, not being able to snap the icons to a grid would be incredibly unsatisfying, as it would make it very difficult to get icons lined up with each other.

; Dark mode (disables screen)

: Dark mode is a popular feature on websites/apps with light backgrounds like Twitter and Reddit, changing the background to a dark color to help late-night users sleep better. Disabling the screen would not be a pleasant surprise when a user goes to turn on beloved dark mode. May be impossible to turn off if the screen is no longer touch sensitive when darkened unless the unmarked buttons can be used to disable it. Also, a possible reason to want to use the shake-activated factory reset.

; Screaming mode (self-explanatory)

: The phone screams. Reference to the screaming-while-falling [[1363: xkcd Phone|xkcd Phone]]. There is also a trend for modern games to have a Streaming (or Streamer) Mode, which suppresses the playing of licensed soundtracks so that streamers (those who promote the game by live-streaming their sessions) don't potentially fall foul of automated 'take-down' orders on behalf of the originators, and potentially also various display optimisations suited to the medium.

; Coherent ultracapacitor-pumped emission (please let us know what this setting does; we've been afraid to try it)

: This mysterious feature has a terrifying name, with even the developers refusing to test it out. This option would probably be very easy to accidentally tap, given the style of every xkcd Phone ever. Possibly activated with one of the unlabeled buttons making it even more dangerous. Coherent Emission is associated with lasers, and a {{w|Helium-neon laser|common type of laser}} uses helium and neon to generate the beam, which could justify the helium reserve. {{w|Ultracapacitor}}s store a large amount of energy than can be discharged very quickly. The feature described is then probably some sort of very high-power pulse laser. Raises the question of [[Beret Guy|who]] designs the phone if the people marketing it don't know what it does, or what purpose [[Black Hat|someone]] may use it for.

==Transcript==
:[The comic shows two smartphones: one taller and wider than the other. ]

:[Labels to the left of the larger smartphone:]
* Full drivetrain warranty
* Coated for easy swallowing
* Surgical-grade apps
* Built-in 600 lb magnet for magnet fishing
* Oral-B partnership: hold phone against teeth to ultrasonically remove plaque
* 40 mL emergency water supply
* Security feature: unmarked side buttons
* 3,000,000-volt arc allows wireless charging from a range of up to 36 inches
* 99.9% BPA- and hands- free
* Extended release charge cable
* Closed timelike curves

:[Labels to the right of the larger smartphone:]
* Fits in standard shipping container
* Interlocking, stackable

:[Labels to the right of the smaller smartphone:]
* Nintendo partnership: GameBoy Printer compatibility
* Sustain Pedal
* CDC partnership: when in an indoor space with too many people, phone begins playing "We Like To Party! (The Vengabus)" at slowly increasing volume until everyone leaves
* Sacrificial anode
* Tactical helium reserve
* 50% below critical mass (2x safety factor)
* Shake for factory reset
* Norton MacAfee protection: if you're ever attacked by John MacAfee, Peter Norton will come out of retirement to defend you

:[Text below the phone:]
:<big>The xkcd Phone 12* and 12 Max**</big>

:<small><nowiki>*Standard</nowiki> **For people named Max</small>

:"The only phone you'll ever own"®™

{{comic discussion}}
[[Category:xkcd Phones]]
[[Category:Comics sharing name|xkcd Phones]]
[[Category:Comics featuring real people]]

1858: 4th of July

2024-10-07T03:45:03Z

Take The A Train To Watertown: Update for October

{{comic
| number = 1858
| date = July 3, 2017
| title = 4th of July
| image = 4th_of_july.png
| titletext = Strangely, they still celebrate by eating hot dogs. Since they don't have mouths, they just kinda toss them in the air and let them fall back down into their propeller blades. It's pretty messy.
}}

==Explanation==
In the United States, the 4th of July is celebrated as {{w|Independence Day (United States)|Independence Day}}. This comic claims to show the timeline of different activities that are used to celebrate the holiday. One common activity is to watch fireworks displays. With the rise of personal drones there have been several videos of fireworks from drones, including flying the drones through the middle of the display. The comic then purports that starting in the year it was published (2017), fireworks and drones will be at some sort of war with each other, starting with drone pilots leading their drones into the path of the rising fireworks before they explode, leading to fireworks technicians intentionally trying to strike down drones. In 2019, [[Randall]] posits that the drones will be weaponized with fireworks and competitions will be held to shoot down your opponents' drone. This wanton destruction of drones leads them to turn against their pilots and humanity in 2020 (after gaining sentience, presumably by their AI evolving through the competition), and then in 2021, they will be celebrating their Independence Day from the humans. As of October 2024, drones have not yet overthrown humans.{{Citation needed}}

Despite the many unfortunate events that happened in 2020, sentient firework-armed drones overthrowing humans was not one of them.{{Citation needed}}

The title text refers to another popular 4th of July activity in the United States: Barbecues with fare such as hot dogs and hamburgers. But since the drones don't have mouths or a digestive tract, they simply make a mess by using their rotors as a blender.

==Transcript==
:[One single panel is shown. The header reads:]
:'''4<sup>th</sup> of July activities'''

:2014 - Watching fireworks
:2015 - Watching fireworks from drones
:2016 - Flying drones through fireworks
:2017 - Intercepting fireworks with drones
:2018 - Competitions to hit drones with fireworks
:2019 - Teams compete to shoot down each other's firework-armed drones
:2020 - Sentient firework-armed drones overthrow humans
:2021 - Drones celebrate independence day

{{comic discussion}}

[[Category:Drones]]

2985: Craters

2024-09-14T01:50:32Z

Take The A Train To Watertown: Filling the remaining boxes in the table

{{comic
| number = 2985
| date = September 13, 2024
| title = Craters
| image = craters_2x.png
| imagesize = 457x352px
| noexpand = true
| titletext = It's annoying that the Nastapoka Arc isn't a meteor impact crater, but I truly believe that--with enough time, effort, and determination--we could make it one.
}}

==Explanation==
{{incomplete|Created by a LITTLE PRINCE ON A ROCK - Please change this comment when editing this page. Do NOT delete this tag too soon.}}

This comic uses a Venn diagram to classify large circles on the ground into meteor impact craters, "weird circles on the map", and both.

{| class=wikitable
! scope="col" | "Crater"
! scope="col" | Venn diagram section
! scope="col" | Explanation
|-
|Northern {{w|Yucatan Peninsula}}|| Meteor Impact Craters || This refers to the famous {{w|Chicxulub crater}}, where an asteroid ~10 km in diameter struck the Earth 65 million years ago and caused the extinction of non-avian dinosaurs.
|-
|{{w|Charlevoix impact structure|Charlevoix Region}}||Meteor Impact Craters|| Astroblème de Charlevoix, or Charlevoix impact crater. A 400 million-year-old, 54 km-wide crater which lies partly in the waters of the {{w|St. Lawrence River}} and stretches halfway between {{w|Quebec City}} and the mouth of the {{w|Saguenay River}}.
|-
|{{w|Sudbury Basin}}||Meteor Impact Craters||A large valley in Ontario, formed by an impact 1.849 billion years ago.
|-
|{{w|Chesapeake Bay}}||Meteor Impact Craters||A crater buried beneath the mouth of Chesapeake Bay, where an impact occurred around 35.5 million years ago.
|-
|{{w|Manicouagan Reservoir|Lake Manicouagan}}||(Venn diagram intersection)||A large ring-shaped lake in Quebec, formed about 214 million years ago.
|-
|{{w|Lonar Lake}}||(Venn diagram intersection)||A circular lake in the Deccan Traps basalt of India, formed approximately 570,000 years ago.
|-
|{{w|Clearwater Lakes}}||(Venn diagram intersection)||A pair of lakes next to each other in Quebec, one formed 460-470 million years ago, the other formed closer to 286 million years ago.
|-
|{{w|Meteor Crater}}||(Venn diagram intersection)||A crater in Arizona about 1.2 km across where a meteor hit around 50,000 years ago.
|-
|{{w|Nastapoka Arc}}||Weird Circles on the Map|| A section of the shoreline of southeastern Hudson Bay that's almost a perfect circle.
|-
|{{w|Crater_Lake_(disambiguation)|Crater Lake}}||Weird Circles on the Map||Most likely reference is the {{w|Crater Lake}} that's in Oregon, the deepest freshwater body in the United States, which formed in the {{w|caldera}} of {{w|Mount Mazama}} after it exploded around 7700 years ago.
|-
|{{w|Stonehenge}}||Weird Circles on the Map||{{w|Stonehenge}} is a {{w|megalith}} on the {{w|Salisbury Plain}} in England which is famous not only for its historical significance and impressive scale but for {{w|Theories_about_Stonehenge|stories surrounding its creation and purpose}}.
|-
|The {{w|Great Blue Hole}}||Weird Circles on the Map||A large, nearly-circular {{w|Blue hole|marine sinkhole}} off the coast of {{w|Belize}}.
|-
|Delaware's northern border||Weird Circles on the Map||The {{w|Twelve-Mile Circle}} comprises several surveyed arcs that define the borders between Delaware and Pennsylvania, and between Delaware and bits of Maryland and New Jersey. These arcs and Stonehenge are the only manmade features in this comic.
|}

The title text refers to the {{w|Nastapoka Arc}}, a section of the Hudson Bay shoreline that is almost a perfect circle. This was most likely caused by continental plates crashing into each other rather than a meteor impact. However, Randall believes that it CAN be an actual meteor impact site with enough dedication: he wants to redirect an asteroid into Hudson Bay, which is a bad idea{{Citation needed}}. There is no efficient way to artificially direct asteroids towards Earth, let alone ones large enough to make the appropriate size hole. The {{w|Double Asteroid Redirection Test}} (DART) slightly changed the orbit of one asteroid around another by slamming a spacecraft into the asteroid; doing any more substantial redirection would require placing explosives, which has never been done. Moreover, the precision required would be a massive obstacle: a small variance in timing or angle would make the asteroid hit Earth in the wrong place, creating an improperly shaped or sized hole, to say nothing of the risk of it missing entirely and slamming into populated areas. Attempting to do so would be costly{{Citation needed}} and potentially cause massive devastation{{Citation needed}}.

This idea of directing an asteroid to directly impact the Earth is on some level an inversion of disaster movies like Armageddon, where an asteroid is landed on to destroy or deflect it. Armageddon has been discussed before on xkcd.

==Transcript==
{{incomplete transcript|Do NOT delete this tag too soon.}}

:[A Venn diagram with two circles.]
:[Label above left circle:]
:Meteor Impact Craters
:[Label above right circle:]
:Weird Circles on the Map
:[Left circle items (Meteor Impact Craters):]
:Northern Yucatan Peninsula
:Charlevoix Region
:Sudbury Basin
:Chesaspeake Bay
:[Right circle items (Weird Circles on the Map):]
:Nastapoka Arc
:Crater Lake
:Stonehenge
:The Great Blue Hole
:Delaware's Northern Border
:[Middle intersection items:]
:Lake Manicouagan
:Lonar Lake
:Clearwater Lakes
:Meteor Crater

{{comic discussion}}

[[Category:Venn diagrams]]
[[Category:Geology]]
[[Category:Geography]]

2975: Classical Periodic Table

2024-08-21T20:08:20Z

Take The A Train To Watertown: don't dance around what elements they refer to

{{comic
| number = 2975
| date = August 21, 2024
| title = Classical Periodic Table
| image = classical_periodic_table_2x.png
| imagesize = 740x530px
| noexpand = true
| titletext = Personally I think mercury is more of a 'wet earth' hybrid element.
}}

==Explanation==
{{incomplete|Created by THE AVATAR - Please change this comment when editing this page. Do NOT delete this tag too soon.}}

An element is a basic atomic building block of the physical world. Ancient civilizations believed in a small number of broad elements. The most famous are the {{w|classical element|classical (Hellenistic) elements}} of earth, fire, air, water, and sometimes a fifth element such as "void", "ether", or "quintessence." The Chinese {{w|Wuxing (Chinese philosophy)|wuxing}} system was a bit different, dropping air and adding elements for wood and metal. Such elemental theories fell out of favor as alchemists and later scientists began to discover what we now recognize as the atomic model, and today 118 elements are recognized and organized into the {{w|Periodic Table of Elements}}.

Here, Randall has taken a modern periodic table and color-coded the modern elements with the four classical elements. Gaseous elements such as hydrogen are colored blue for "air." Bromine and mercury, the two elements that remain liquid at room temperature and pressure, are colored dark blue for "water." Radioactive elements along the bottom of the table whose isotopes have only extremely short half-lives are red for "fire," with the rest of the chart filled in brown for "earth." The "earth" region includes many elements which are radioactive but whose half-lives are greater than 1 day.

The title text says that mercury should be classified as "wet earth". While it's a liquid, it has a very high surface tension so even large drops will stick together and may seem almost like a gel.

===Table Sections===
{| class=wikitable
! scope="col" | Section
! scope="col" | Real table
! scope="col" | Elements contained
! scope="col" | Explanation
|-
| Air || All noble gases and most reactive nonmetals || Hydrogen, Nitrogen, Oxygen, Fluorine, Neon, Helium, Chlorine, Argon, Krypton, Xenon, Radon || These elements are a gas at room temperature, so they are grouped into "Air".
|-
| Water || One metal and one nonmetal || Bromine, Mercury || These elements are liquid at room temperature, so they are grouped into “Water”.
|-
| Fire || One alkali metal and many synthetic metals || || These are all highly radioactive metals with a half-life less than one day and a tendency to violently decompose at standard temperature and pressure, hence they are classified as "Fire".
|}

This comic is similar to [[2913: Periodic Table Regions]], which also groups elements using unconventional methods.

==Transcript==
{{incomplete transcript|Do NOT delete this tag too soon.}}
[Title text: Classical Periodic Table]

[A diagram in the shape of the periodic table of elements is split into labeled colored regions. Each region is labeled with a large letter over a word in smaller letters.]

[The regions and colors are as follows:
* A: Air: light blue: Hydrogen, Nitrogen, Oxygen, Fluorine, Chlorine, and the noble gases.
* W: Water: dark blue: Bromine and Mercury.
* F: Fire: red-orange: Astatine, Francium, and everything from Mendelevium onwards.
* E: Earth: brown: everything else, the majority of the diagram.
]

{{comic discussion}}

2971: Celestial Event

2024-08-14T05:51:27Z

Take The A Train To Watertown: eclipse data

{{comic
| number = 2971
| date = August 12, 2024
| title = Celestial Event
| image = celestial_event_2x.png
| imagesize = 471x300px
| noexpand = true
| titletext = If we can get a brood of 13-year cicadas going, we might have a chance at making this happen before the oceans evaporate under the expanding sun.
}}

==Explanation==
{{incomplete|Created by a CURSED SHOP THAT APPEARS EVERY FOUR POINT THREE BILLION YEARS - Please change this comment when editing this page. Do NOT delete this tag too soon.}}

This comic was posted shortly after some people reported seeing the aurora in conjunction with the perseids meteor shower.<ref>https://www.msn.com/en-us/weather/topstories/the-2024-perseid-meteor-shower-and-northern-lights-overlapped-in-a-rare-cosmic-display-see-photos-of-the-dazzling-event/ar-AA1oJKKC</ref>. It lists several events that are considered special to be witnessed due to their rarity. Total solar eclipses, auroras and comet sightings are all rare events. This year, all three of these events happened in parts of the United States, where the author lives.

Although it might be, conceivably, possible to witness all three at once in a given location (in this case, the author's neighborhood), the odds stack up to make that occurrence extremely improbable. To boot, those events can only be observed with a clear sky (a 50:50 chance), so that too has to be accounted for in the calculation.

"Total eclipse" presumedly refers to total solar eclipses, as total lunar eclipses are visible from any side of the earth that the moon is visible. Randall's hometown of Cambridge, MA has in the modern era experienced total solar eclipses on average every 130 years, far more often than his estimate of every 350 years. The last total solar eclipse in Cambridge happened at sunrise on October 2, 1959, but it did not align with clear skies. The one before that was on June 16, 1806, though one on August 31, 1932 was visible from nearby Cape Ann and Cape Cod. The next total eclipse in Cambridge will be at sunrise on May 1, 2079, and the next after that will be on April 14, 2200.

17-year {{w|Periodical cicadas|cicadas}} are also special in the sense that a brood will only emerge from the ground once every 17 years. Periodical cicadas recently became the object of media furor in 2024 as a 13-year brood and a 17-year happened to emerge together, an event that only happens once every 13x17 = 221 years. This caused a lot of noise and double the amount of dead cicadas after they had mated. Needless to say, having a cicada emergence co-occur with all those previously mentioned events would be extra rare, and thus extra special.

How rare, exactly, is the point of this calculation. The resulting product is the expected frequency that all of them would occur at the same time at that location. The value he calculates is once every 4.3 billion years. This is in the same ballpark as the current age of the Earth, about 4.5 billion years.

There are multiple inaccuracies in this type of calculation, although, given the extravagant nature of the proposed event and the unfeasible time scale, that hardly matters. Multiplying probabilities only works for random variables that are entirely independent. If nothing else, orbits are (luckily<sup>[<em><span style="color:#1144aa !important; ">maybe</span></em>]</sup>
) not random.{{cn}} It also requires that all of the probabilities remain constant over time. In reality, cicadas will not exist for very long compared to the time scale, since Earth will become uninhabitable to complex life within a billion years' time and all life will be extinct within {{w|Future of Earth|4 billion years}}. Also, the moon is moving away from Earth, and total solar eclipses will cease to occur in about [https://www.space.com/37627-total-solar-eclipse-earth-moon-alignment-future.html 600 million years]. Luckily, this is not the time that you are ''always'' going to wait, merely the (usual) period between one occurance and the next. A person starting to wait at a random point in the cycle, and no knowing anything else, would ''on average'' only have to wait ''half'' the time. (If very lucky, it could happen tomorrow, as it hypothetically might have done a bit over four billion years ago; if unlucky, it would indeed be slightly more than four billion years, having most recently happened yesterday; if ''very'' unlucky, the frequencies are slightly less defined, do not actually align as expected for the next conclusion of the cycle and additional billions of years need to be waited until the next example when it 'might' indeed occur as anticipated. Finally, if '''extremely''' unlucky, you will never get a clear sky. Ever.

In order for the math to work out, some unit conversion is necessary. To solve "20 days / 11 years", one can consider 1 year = 365.24 days (a reasonable approximation that accounts for most leap years). For "2 months / 50 years" and "2 months / 17 years", the simplest way is to convert 1 year into 12 months. Unit cancelation works out, and you end up with a number in years that corresponds to the average amount of time between events when all those different things are happening at once. (the implied unit for eclipses is events per year, and that's the unit you get as a result, so the actual length of the eclipse doesn't influence the result much).

In the title text, Randall mentioned swapping 17-year cicada broods for 13-year ones, to have some chance at witnessing the proposed super-event before life on Earth becomes impossible. Massachusetts is near the northern limit of {{w|Periodical_cicadas|<em>Magicicada</em>}} distribution, and only one 17-year brood is established there (and not in Cambridge, MA). However, the introduction of a different brood could, with some help from global warming, be feasible.

Earth's oceans may evaporate in about one billion years<ref>https://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2013/12/131216142310.htm</ref>. In order to beat that, we need to better our odds. Using 13-year cicadas in our calculations reduces the average interval between events to 3.29 billion years. We can lower that further by hoping that we'll have clear skies by then (who knows, we might get good enough at manipulating weather that we can *make* it happen). That gives us an average interval between events of about 1.6 billion years. Which means a larger than 50% chance that we'll get our special super-event to happen within a billion years, therefore beating ocean evaporation. Of course, cicadas may not last that long.<sup>[<em><span style="color:#1144aa !important; ">baseless conjecture</span></em>]</sup> <sup>[<em><span style="color:#1144aa !important; ">trust the cicadas</span></em>]</sup>

==Transcript==
{{incomplete transcript|Do NOT delete this tag too soon.}}
:<u>Approximate frequency in my area</u>

:Active northern lights: 20 days per solar cycle

:A naked-eye "Great Comet": 2 months every 50 years

:Total eclipse: once every 350 years

:Clear skies: 50% of the time

:17-year cicada emergence: 2 months every 17 years

opening bracket

20 days over 11 years multiplied by

2 months over 50 years multiplied by

1 over 350 years multiplied by

one half multiplied by

2 months over 17 years

closing bracket to the power of -1

equals 4.3 billion years

:[Caption below the panel:]
:Every 4 billion years or so, my neighborhood gets to see a ''really'' spectacular show.

{{comic discussion}}

[[Category:Astronomy]]
[[Category:Solar eclipses]]
[[Category:Time]]
[[Category:Animals]]

2963: House Inputs and Outputs

2024-07-27T02:36:46Z

Take The A Train To Watertown: it's weird how most people never use their house's front door

{{comic
| number = 2963
| date = July 24, 2024
| title = House Inputs and Outputs
| image = house_inputs_and_outputs_2x.png
| imagesize = 740x684px
| noexpand = true
| titletext = People think power over ethernet is so great, and yet when I try to do water over ethernet everyone yells at me.
}}

==Explanation==
{{incomplete|Created by a possible reference to [[1037: Umwelt]] in panel 16 - Please change this comment when editing this page. Do NOT delete this tag too soon.}}

This is another comic in a series depicting {{w|confusion matrix|confusion matrices}}, similar to [[2813: What To Do]], [[2420: Appliances]], and [[1890: What to Bring]]. It is arranged as a table of five columns of conduits to and from a house, by five rows of resources and people, each of which typically enter, exit or both enter ''and'' exit the house via at least one of the identified conduits. The table cells have a green background for compatible methods of transit; a red tint is used for the more problematic pairings. Each panel can be read as "[row label] [entering and/or exiting] the house via the [column label]", for example, "Fresh water entering the house via the well".

{| class="wikitable" style="background-color: lightpink;"
|+ Explanations of the "House Inputs and Outputs" table cell drawings
! !! Well !! Garage !! Power lines !! Front door !! Septic tank
|-
! Fresh water (Input)
|style="background-color: palegreen;"| The purpose of a well is usually to supply fresh water into the home, primarily for drinking or washing. It may be unnecessary in many places if a reliable {{w|water supply network}} is available. || Long gone are the days of {{w|Labours_of_Hercules#Fifth:_Augean_stables|having to clean up after your primary mode of transportation}}, for most people. A source of water may be useful to clean a vehicle itself, although this would perhaps be more commonly done outside. || Power lines conduct electricity, not water. The two functions are inherently dangerous if carelessly combined. Water can be used to cool high-energy lines, such as fast battery charger cables[https://www.connectortips.com/where-liquid-cooled-connectors-and-connectors-for-liquid-cooling-used-in-evs-faq/] and cables supplying electric arc furnaces, but not overhead residential power lines. || Many people prefer to control the amount of water they get, and the water may damage things inside the house. || Pumping water into a septic tank could cause it to back up, resulting in the unpleasant contents being forced back in to the house. Also, if this were the only supply of water, most people would prefer anything they drink not to contain (or go through pipes that have contained) sewage.
|-
! Cars (Input/Output)
| Most cars can't fit inside most wells. Storing them in a well is also likely to be inconvenient when you come to need to use them again.
|style="background-color: palegreen;"| Garages are in fact built for the storage of cars and other similarly-sized vehicles. Placing a car in one will both help protect it from the elements and make it easier to access from inside your own home. || As of yet, cars cannot be transferred through power lines and require roads to travel on. This could significantly reduce travel costs. However, the illustration here has the car actually balancing upon the strained wire, indicating a more mundane (but still not easy!) method of transit. || Most cars can’t fit through a typical front door, and are likely to cause damage if forced. || Comedian {{w|Garrison Keillor}}'s 2008 ''More News from Lake Wobegon'' includes a story where an old septic tank is discovered to actually be a buried car.[https://theseriouscomedysite.com/comedy-cd-or-download/garrison-keillor-more-news-from-lake-wobegon/]
|-
! Electricity (Input)
| Wells are not designed to safely and effectively transfer power to the devices that require it. The water would mostly just conduct the electricity into the surrounding construction. || In the United States, lightning is responsible for causing around 24,600 structure fires annually, resulting in $8 to $10 billion in losses. It is possible, though, for the house's junction box (where the main utility line terminates in order to supply the house's own wiring) to be located in or on the outside wall of the garage, so, in a sense, this may be workable.
|style="background-color: palegreen;"| Power lines are designed to facilitate the connection of individual homes to the broader local power network. [[Randall]] omits the fact that electricity can also be an output; e.g. houses with solar panels regularly export electricity too. || {{w|Benjamin Franklin}} invented the {{w|lightning rod}} to prevent lightning strike damage to structures. || As Knit Cap observes, septic tanks are not a source of electric power.
|-
! People (Input/Output)
|style="background-color: lightpink"| Inserting people into wells can be very dangerous.{{Citation needed}} The comic depicts a view from inside a well (as a [[:Category:Comics with inverted brightness|dark scene]], it is drawn <span style="background-color: black; color: lightpink;">red-on-black</span>). The motif resembles poster art for the 2002 horror movie remake ''{{w|The Ring (2002 film)|The Ring}}'', which involves a girl left to die in a well who becomes a vengeful ghost (see also [[396: The Ring]]).
|style="background-color: palegreen;"| A person can enter and exit their home through a garage door, provided the garage has an internal door to the rest of the home. Though it is the most common way for the house's residents to enter and exit, it isn't generally the best way to welcome unfamiliar guests though. || Overhead power lines to homes are generally not strong enough to climb, and attempting to do so incurs a very serious risk of electrocution.
|style="background-color: palegreen;"| The front door of a home is designed for entry and exit of humans and similarly sized items. || In general, people find crawling through waste unpleasant. Also, the septic tank is not connected to the street.
|-
! Sewage (Output)
| Sewage in drinking water can cause disease. It is/was the main cause for most {{w|cholera}} epidemics.
|colspan=3| Sewage spills are smelly, disgusting and hard to clean. They can destroy carpets, floors, drywall and property value.
|style="background-color: palegreen;"| A {{w|septic tank}} is an underground chamber through which wastewater flows for basic {{w|sewage treatment}}.
|}

The title text references {{w|Power over Ethernet|power over ethernet (PoE)}}, first implemented in the early 2000s, to provide electric power along with data on twisted-pair Ethernet cabling. A welcome development, it removed the need for many separate power supplies. While networked water delivery ("running water") is also a welcome development, doing so over ethernet cables would be extremely problematic, risking the several top points of failure, while providing limited amounts of water. However, again, electric vehicle fast charging cables and arc furnace power inputs are sometimes water-cooled.

==Transcript==
{{incomplete transcript|Do NOT delete this tag too soon.}}

:[A 5x5 grid of squares. The columns are labeled: Well, Garage, Power lines, Front door, Septic tank. Each row's label has an arrow and a basic house icon next to it. The rows are: Fresh water (horizontal arrow towards house), Cars (two-directional horizontal arrow and house), Electricity (horizontal arrow into house), People (two-directional horizontal arrow and house), Sewage (vertical arrow out of bottom of house).]

:Well, Fresh water: [green]
::[A many-featured house front and cross-sectional subsurface infrastructure, with various aspects that recur throughout most further grid-squares in one or other form. This particular one is distinguished by an arrow indicating movement up through a pipe leading inwards from an adjacent external borehole]
::Voice from house: Mmm! Refreshing!

:Garage, Fresh water: [red]
::[An obliquely off-frontal view of the house, featuring a set of Cueball-like figures directing a hosepipe's stream of water into the open garage-port doorway]
::''Fwoosh''

:Power lines, Fresh water: [red]
::[A different oblique angle concentrated upon the edge of the house upon which the overhead powerlines connect to, from a pole with transformer box and other wire coming from off-frame; the house wire appears to be dripping liquid]

:Front door, Fresh water: [red]
::[Normal frontal view of the house, featuring the hosepipe cueballs directing water into the front door]
::Voice from house: Stop it!
::''Fwoosh!''

:Septic tank, Fresh water: [red]
::[Normal frontal view; The subsurface septic tank feature has an arrow leading up from it through the diagonal pipe that connects to the house itself]
::Voice from house: Eww.

:Well, Cars: [red]
::[A view only of a ground pipe/borehole-head; A car seemingly upended and balanced atop on a front corner, being manhandled by Cueball and Megan figures]

:Garage, Cars: [green]
::[Normal frontal view; Garage door open, car seen parked inside]

:Power lines, Cars: [red]
::[Two power-line poles, the rightmost with transformer, having cables from off-left, between the poles and off-right; Two cueballs stand on the ground below, looking at a car heavily balanced mid-way along the central stretch of wire]

:Front door, Cars: [red]
::[Frontal view of house; Front doorway has surrounding damage and a car tightly wedged into it with two figures (Beret Guy and a Cueball) visible through the windows]
::Beret Guy, from car: Do you think I scratched the paint?

:Septic tank, Cars: [red]
::[Frontal view of the house; Within the underground sceptic tank, displacing some of the shallow dark liquid, is a car with two occupants]

:Well, Electricity: [red]
::[Borehole pipe-head; Cueball holds a laptop with a power lead trailing down into the pipe]
::Cueball's laptop: ⚠Low battery

:Garage, Electricity: [red]
::[Frontal view of house, with lightning strike explosively hitting the area of the garage door]
::''BOOM''

:Power lines, Electricity: [green]
::[Frontal view of house, arrow leading down the power-cable and several 'electricity' symbols scattered around]

:Front door, Electricity: [red]
::[Frontal view of house, with lightning strike explosively hitting the area of the front door]
::''BOOM''

:Septic tank, Electricity: [red]
::[Toilet and cistern, seat raised, with Knit Cap looking at a computer system, set up nearby on the floor, with a power lead draped into the toilet-bowl and (sic) a single 'electricity' symbol indicating power flow]
::Knit Cap: Why won't my console turn on?

:Well, People: [red (though overwhelmingly black)]
::[A mostly black tile with a rough circular outline of sketchy red lines]

:Garage, People: [green]
::[Frontal view of house; A Cueball exits the open (darkened) garage doorway, waving]
::Cueball: Bye!

:Power lines, People: [red]
::[Oblique side view of house; A Cueball is climbing up the power-line towards the top of the pole]
::Cueball: Bye!

:Front door, People: [green]
::[Frontal view of house; A cueball exits the open front doorway, waving]
::Cueball: Bye!

:Septic tank, People: [red]
::[Frontal view of house; A Cueball crawls into the elbow-deep dark liquid of the subsurface septic tank, emerging from the house-draining pipes]
::Cueball: Bye!

:Well, Sewage: [red]
::[Frontal view of house; Speech-line emerges from the house]
::Voice from house: ''Why do I keep getting sick???

:Garage, Sewage: [red]
::[Frontal view of house; Garage door is open, revealing Cueball knee-deep in dark liquid]
::Cueball: Oh no.

:Power lines, Sewage: [red]
::[Oblique side view of house; Wide pipe-end emerges from the roof, disgorging a stream of dark liquid out onto the rising power-cable]
::Cueball: Eww.

:Front door, Sewage: [red]
::[Frontal view of house; Front door is open, revealing Cueball knee-deep in dark liquid]
::Cueball: Oh ''no''.

:Septic tank, Sewage: [green]
::[Frontal view of house; Dark liquid drains down drain-pipes into sceptic tank, with an arrow indicating the direction of flow]
::''Flush''

{{comic discussion}}

[[Category:Comics with color]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Cueball]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Megan]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Knit Cap]]
[[Category:Confusion matrices]]
[[Category:Multiple Cueballs]]
[[Category:Charts]]

2962: President Venn Diagram

2024-07-23T01:04:05Z

Take The A Train To Watertown: categories

{{comic
| number = 2962
| date = July 22, 2024
| title = President Venn Diagram
| image = president_venn_diagram_2x.png
| imagesize = 445x398px
| noexpand = true
| titletext = Hard to imagine political rhetoric more microtargeted at me than 'I love Venn diagrams. I really do, I love Venn diagrams. It's just something about those three circles.'
}}

==Explanation==
{{incomplete|Created by 2,382,203 Massachusetts write-in ballots for Randall Munroe - Please change this comment when editing this page. Do NOT delete this tag too soon.}}

This comic features a three-way {{w|Venn diagram}}. The three circles represent eligibility for US presidency, qualification for US presidency, and love for Venn diagrams. According to Article II of the {{w|U.S. Constitution}}, someone is {{w|President_of_the_United_States#Eligibility|eligible for the presidency}} if they are a natural-born citizen of the United States, are at least 35 years old, and are a resident in the United States for at least 14 years.

Randall is known for his love of Venn diagrams, which feature heavily on xkcd. In this comic he implies that one reason why he is likely to support {{w|Kamala Harris}} for president is her alleged love of Venn diagrams, which she shares with Randall (who claims to be eligible for president but not qualified to be a good president).

Current Vice President Kamala Harris is the likely Democratic party nominee for the 2024 election, following current President {{w|Joe Biden}}'s ending of his campaign the day before this comic's release. Kamala's love for Venn diagrams is something of a meme, and has been used by her in her campaign [https://www.independent.co.uk/news/world/americas/us-politics/kamala-harris-campaign-memes-gen-z-b2583802.html]

The title text implies that the best way to target Randall with political ads is to mention how amazing Venn diagrams are.

==Transcript==
{{incomplete transcript|Do NOT delete this tag too soon.}}
A Venn diagram with three circles.<br>
Upper left circle: "Eligible to be President"<br>
Upper right circle: "Would be a good President"<br>
Lower circle: "Unusually vocal about love of Venn diagrams"<br>
Intersection of all three circles: "Kamala Harris"<br>
Intersection of the upper left and lower circles: "Me"

==Trivia==
Due to a loophole in the wording of the 22nd Amendment, which says nobody may be elected to the office of President more than twice, two-time former Presidents such as {{w|Barack Obama}} are not inelegible under the wording of Article II, and are therefore still eligible for Vice President under the 12th Amendment and can theoretically inherit the Presidency again.

{{comic discussion}}
[[Category:Venn diagrams]][[Category: Politics]][[Category:Elections]]

2962: President Venn Diagram

2024-07-23T00:54:06Z

Take The A Train To Watertown: Transcript and trivia

{{comic
| number = 2962
| date = July 22, 2024
| title = President Venn Diagram
| image = president_venn_diagram_2x.png
| imagesize = 445x398px
| noexpand = true
| titletext = Hard to imagine political rhetoric more microtargeted at me than 'I love Venn diagrams. I really do, I love Venn diagrams. It's just something about those three circles.'
}}

==Explanation==
{{incomplete|Created by 2,382,203 Massachusetts write-in ballots for Randall Munroe - Please change this comment when editing this page. Do NOT delete this tag too soon.}}

This comic features a three-way {{w|Venn diagram}}. The three circles represent eligibility for US presidency, qualification for US presidency, and love for Venn diagrams. According to Article II of the {{w|U.S. Constitution}}, someone is {{w|President_of_the_United_States#Eligibility|eligible for the presidency}} if they are a natural-born citizen of the United States, are at least 35 years old, and are a resident in the United States for at least 14 years.

Randall is known for his love of Venn diagrams, which feature heavily on xkcd. In this comic he implies that one reason why he is likely to support {{w|Kamala Harris}} for president is her alleged love of Venn diagrams, which she shares with Randall (who claims to be eligible for president but not qualified to be a good president).

Current Vice President Kamala Harris is the likely Democratic party nominee for the 2024 election, following current President {{w|Joe Biden}}'s ending of his campaign the day before this comic's release. Kamala's love for Venn diagrams is something of a meme, and has been used by her in her campaign [https://www.independent.co.uk/news/world/americas/us-politics/kamala-harris-campaign-memes-gen-z-b2583802.html]

The title text implies that the best way to target Randall with political ads is to mention how amazing Venn diagrams are.

==Transcript==
{{incomplete transcript|Do NOT delete this tag too soon.}}
A Venn diagram with three circles.
Upper left circle: "Eligible to be President"
Upper right circle: "Would be a good President"
Lower circle: "Unusually vocal about love of Venn diagrams"
Intersection of all three circles: "Kamala Harris"
Intersection of the upper left and lower circles: "Me"

==Trivia==
Due to a loophole in the wording of the 22nd Amendment, which says nobody may be elected to the office of President more than twice, two-time former Presidents such as {{w|Barack Obama}} are not inelegible under the wording of Article II, and are therefore still eligible for Vice President under the 12th Amendment and can theoretically inherit the Presidency again.

{{comic discussion}}

2934: Bloom Filter

2024-05-31T18:58:12Z

Take The A Train To Watertown: I know him!

{{comic
| number = 2934
| date = May 17, 2024
| title = Bloom Filter
| image = bloom_filter_2x.png
| imagesize = 212x206px
| noexpand = true
| titletext = Sometimes, you can tell Bloom filters are the wrong tool for the job, but when they're the right one you can never be sure.
}}

==Explanation==
The comic is about a data structure called a {{w|Bloom filter}}. Software engineers use Bloom filters to check if something is probably in a set or to estimate how many things are in that set, using limited memory.

* One example: the Chrome web browser used to store a Bloom filter of URLs that were known to be malicious<ref>Chromium Issue 10896048: Transition safe browsing from bloom filter to prefix set. (Closed) – https://chromiumcodereview.appspot.com/10896048/</ref>, based on a database that was too large to store locally. Chrome used that Bloom filter to confirm that it didn’t need to warn the user that they were visiting a malicious page. Only in the rare cases that the Bloom filter said the URL might be malicious, Chrome would send the URL to an external service to confirm whether it was known to be malicious. The developers didn’t want the browser to send ''every'' URL to the external service because that would leak the user’s entire browsing history to the service and would add an unnecessary network delay whenever a web page was loaded.

Here's how a Bloom filter works:

# ''' Adding items:''' When you add an item, it gets hashed (a way of transforming it into numbers) by several hash functions. These hash functions mark certain spots in a big array of bits (think of it as a row of lights that can be on or off).
# ''' Checking items:''' To check whether an item might be in the set, you hash it with the same functions and see if all the corresponding spots are lit up. If they are, the item might be in the set, but there's a chance of a false positive (the Bloom filter could mistakenly say the item is there when it’s not). If any spot is not lit up, the item is not in the set.
# '''False positives:''' The larger the array compared to the number of items, the lower the chance of false positives. For example, 10 bits per item gives each tested item a 0.1% chance of matching each item actually in the set.
# ''' Counting items:''' By analyzing the activated bits, with appropriate calculations, you can derive an estimate of ''how many'' individual items are 'stored' for confirmation within the array. This estimate's accuracy will depend upon several factors, but more array bits (making themselves potentially available to 'remember' each item) will be one of the most important ones when it comes to narrowing down the likelihood.

In the comic, [[Cueball]] is holding a piece of paper or tablet computer with a large "1" digit on it. This is labeled as a 1-bit Bloom filter, which is almost useless. When empty, it correctly returns a negative for any item tested, but as soon as one item is added the bit is set to 1, and now it unhelpfully says that any item tested might be in the set. Its size estimate also becomes "between 1 and infinity," which isn’t helpful.

Having multiple hash functions is pointless for a 1-bit filter since they all end up pointing to the same single bit, which would return the exact same answer as a result.

The title text carries the characteristics of the Bloom filter into the decision-making process for choosing a Bloom filter over other candidate data structures. Analogously (according to the text), you can be sure when they are ''not'' the best approach but only conclude that they ''are'' with a limited degree of probability.

==Transcript==
:[Ponytail holds out her hand to Cueball, who is holding a paper with a 1 on it.]
:Ponytail: Does your set contai–
:Cueball: Yeah, probably.

:[Caption below the panel:]
:One-Bit Bloom Filter

==Trivia==
* The Bloom Filter was invented by Burton "Buzz" Bloom, who laughed when shown this comic and said "It's been a long time since I've done filtering... about twenty years."

* Bloom Filters were also referenced in [[2739]] as a very lossy form of data compression.

==References==
<references/>

{{comic discussion}}

[[Category:Comics featuring Ponytail]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Cueball]]
[[Category:Statistics]]
[[Category:Programming]]

2919: Sitting in a Tree

2024-04-13T22:09:58Z

Take The A Train To Watertown: Here, someone else do the first half of them

{{comic
| number = 2919
| date = April 12, 2024
| title = Sitting in a Tree
| image = sitting_in_a_tree_2x.png
| imagesize = 591x320px
| noexpand = true
| titletext = First comes blood / Then we perish / Then comes Death in his Eternity Carriage.
}}

==Explanation==
{{incomplete|Created by a PAIR OF NERDS E-D-I-T-I-N-G - ♫First come comments, ♫Then these made neat, ♫But ONLY when it's accurate, then should you the tag delete!♫}}

“[Name] and [name], sitting in a tree, K-I-S-S-I-N-G” (or some other seven-letter verb spelled aloud, almost always ending in “ing”) is a common taunt among young children in the US, perhaps in the context of a {{w|counting-out game}}, in which they make fun of others' (alleged/suggested) playground romances (which are often seen as “gross” at that age).

This comic takes the variety of things which could be chanted to an unrealistic extreme, starting with relatively mundane ones such as “hugging” and “reading” and progressing through to increasingly atypical or disturbing concepts. For example, in the last frame, Cueball and Megan would be molting, also known as shedding, which, according to [[Randall]], would be "very alarming". Each frame has the last of its noted possibilities pictured – kissing, ironing and smiting, respectively.

Normal:
:'''Reading'''
:'''Singing'''
:'''Playing'''
:'''Sharing'''
:'''Hugging'''
:'''Kissing'''

Slightly worrying:
:'''Sobbing'''
:'''Itching'''
:'''Pruning''' is cutting off the branches of a tree, which is very dangerous if one is sitting on said branch.{{citation needed}}
:'''Banking''' is conducting financial business with a bank.
:'''Posting''' is to publish posts on social media, which is probably what most teens do when they're together nowadays.
:''' Ironing''' is smoothing their clothes with an iron and ironing board.

Very alarming:
:'''Molting''' is shedding their skin.
:'''Whaling''' is hunting whales, which has been outlawed since the 1980s. Whales aren't usually found in trees anyways.
:'''E-filing''', not to be confused with defiling, is doing their tax returns online. This comic was published a few days before the US tax deadline.
:'''Melting''' is turning from a solid state to a liquid state, which is usually fatal.
:'''X-raying''' is looking at your bones with the radiation of the X-ray machine, a heavy device only found in medical offices.
:'''Smiting''' is to strike down their enemies with the divine power called from a god.

The title text parodies a traditional {{w|Children's song#Game songs|continuation of the chant}}, which is normally something like
"...first comes love, then comes marriage, then comes baby in a baby carriage" (which reflects the common social expectations that any kissers might follow the path of), but instead appears to be a more dark prophecy about death that therefore probably befits the last frame's focus.

==Transcript==
:[Three children are singing. A kid with a bowl cut and a young Hairy are pointing with their fingers, while Jill stands in the middle. A pair of connected eighth notes and a detached eighth note are shown.]
:Kid with a bowl cut, Jill and Hairy: [Name] and [Name], sitting in a tree...

:[Label above the panel:]
:Normal
:[Cueball and Megan are sitting on a tree branch holding hands and kissing, with a heart above them.]
:R-E-A-D-I-N-G
:S-I-N-G-I-N-G
:P-L-A-Y-I-N-G
:S-H-A-R-I-N-G
:H-U-G-G-I-N-G
:K-I-S-S-I-N-G

:[Label above the panel:]
:Slightly worrying
:[Cueball and Megan are sitting on a tree branch each ironing a cloth on an ironing board, with steam arising from the irons.]
:S-O-B-B-I-N-G
:I-T-C-H-I-N-G
:P-R-U-N-I-N-G
:B-A-N-K-I-N-G
:P-O-S-T-I-N-G
:I-R-O-N-I-N-G

:[Label above the panel:]
:Very alarming
:[Cueball and Megan, her hair being {{tvtropes|MadnessMakeover|uncharacteristically wild}}, sitting on a tree branch smiting with glowing hands, with two falling fireballs and fire below them. Cueball's hands are raised up, while Megan has her left hand up and her right hand pointing to her right.]
:M-O-L-T-I-N-G
:W-H-A-L-I-N-G
:E-F-I-L-I-N-G
:M-E-L-T-I-N-G
:X-R-A-Y-I-N-G
:S-M-I-T-I-N-G

{{comic discussion}}

[[Category:Language]]
[[Category:Kids]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Jill]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Hairy]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Cueball]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Megan]]
[[Category:Songs]]

Talk:2911: Greenland Size

2024-03-26T19:42:26Z

Take The A Train To Watertown:

Anyone else really wanting to know the radius for which the title text is true? I got [[356]]'d
[[User:Rxy|Rxy]] ([[User talk:Rxy|talk]]) 20:28, 25 March 2024 (UTC)

New life goal: Go to the poles, find the ring that is mapped to-scale, and color it. Require all satellite maps to be modified to add this stripe of color. [[User:PotatoGod|PotatoGod]] ([[User talk:PotatoGod|talk]]) 22:37, 25 March 2024 (UTC)

This is clearly based on Lewis Carroll's Sylvie and Bruno Concluded (1893) which discusses a map made at a scale of 1:1. [[User:Take The A Train To Watertown|Take The A Train To Watertown]] ([[User talk:Take The A Train To Watertown|talk]]) 22:49, 25 March 2024 (UTC)

Which latitude of Greenland is 1660miles across? I'm noodling around and can find a spot in the northern part which is - more or less - 1660*km* wide, but nothing close to that number in miles. {{unsigned ip|172.68.144.140|23:01, 25 March 2024}}

Hmm. First time making a comment here, thought that the title text was referencing that the Mercator projection goes to infinity at the poles, and there would be a ring where the map’s unseen parts is 1:1 to the real world. {{unsigned ip|172.71.214.100|01:40, 26 March 2024}}

Yeah, I think the explanation is wrong; there is a ring around the poles which is the same size on the map as it is in real life, because the mercader projection stretches it out. [[Special:Contributions/172.71.150.50|172.71.150.50]] 05:49, 26 March 2024 (UTC)

I'm amazed at how nitpickingly annoying Cueball can get with respect to mapmaking. [[Special:Contributions/162.158.134.38|162.158.134.38]] 08:42, 26 March 2024 (UTC)

"there is a ring around the poles which is the same size on the map" - in standard Mercator projection 1m wide map would need to be kilomenters if not thousands km high to show 1m ring on poles. Usually cutout is at 80-85 latitude {{unsigned ip|162.158.102.110|12:12, 26 March 2024}}

The latitude band would actually be one Earth's radius (6,378 km) high on the map. {{unsigned ip|172.69.223.158|12:36, 26 March 2024}}

I'm slightly tempted to add a list of possible uses for a 1:1 scale map of the world. All that I'm coming up with are essentially about its being a ginormous sheet of paper, with its being a ''map'' being irrelevant. [[User:BunsenH|BunsenH]] ([[User talk:BunsenH|talk]]) 17:43, 26 March 2024 (UTC)
:A replacement planet? Either flat (work out which mapping compromise would suit its population best) or get around the "no flat map can..." stuff by making it into an actual globe. You might need to break out artificial gravity equipment (and pursuade people not to wear sharp footwear?), or just take advantage of it being paper-thin, as well as no pesky uncrossable ocean (if you're allowed to 'step on blue') or awkward mountains (you can't actually trip on gradient lines/etc!), so the experience would be ....interesting. [[Special:Contributions/172.70.163.24|172.70.163.24]] 19:02, 26 March 2024 (UTC)

:Someone's building the world at 1:1 in Minecraft, does that count? Additionally, 1:1 maps of smaller things certainly do exist, though these are more usually called mockups or engineering diagrams. A 1:1 map of a mall was used in Better Call Saul to plot a heist, and sometimes historical sites have 1:1 maps of buildings and streets to show where they were once located. [[User:Take The A Train To Watertown|Take The A Train To Watertown]] ([[User talk:Take The A Train To Watertown|talk]]) 19:42, 26 March 2024 (UTC)

2911: Greenland Size

2024-03-25T23:02:36Z

Take The A Train To Watertown: lewis carroll

{{comic
| number = 2911
| date = March 25, 2024
| title = Greenland Size
| image = greenland_size_2x.png
| imagesize = 262x304px
| noexpand = true
| titletext = The Mercator projection drastically distorts the size of almost every area of land except a small ring around the North and South Poles.
}}

==Explanation==
{{incomplete|Created by a MAP THAT'S WAY BIGGER THAN IT'S SUPPOSED TO BE - Please change this comment when editing this page. Do NOT delete this tag too soon.}}
When talking about maps of the world, it's common to discuss the ways that it distorts the land areas that are depicted. All flat maps suffer from some kind of distortion, because the surface of a sphere cannot be flattened without stretching parts and possibly cutting it into pieces. Such discussion normally refers to the way that the shapes change or to the ''relative'' sizes of different land areas. For example, the {{w|Mercator projection}} makes land areas near the poles look larger than similar-sized areas near the Equator; a common complaint is that {{w|Greenland}} appears as big as {{w|Africa}} on the map, when Africa actually has 14 times more area than Greenland. The benefit of this projection, however, is that the landmasses maintain their overall shape, and it allows for easy course planning at sea since angles are preserved.

The joke in this comic is that [[Cueball]] is comparing the size of Greenland on the map (usually on the order of centimeters or inches, unless you have a really big or really small map) with its real world size (which is about 1,660 miles or 2,670 km across), rather than with the map's other landmasses, which Cueball deems misleading. Of course, this is absurd for an argument against the Mercator projection, as any projection of a map of the same size would be erroneous by Cueball's argument. Any world map that doesn't suffer from this distortion would have to be the size of the Earth's surface, which would make it useless. Such a map at a scale of 1:1 was discussed in Lewis Carroll's "Sylvie and Bruno Concluded":

''"That's another thing we've learned from your Nation," said Mein Herr, "map-making. But we've carried it much further than you. What do you consider the largest map that would be really useful?"''<br>
''"About six inches to the mile."''<br>
''"Only six inches!" exclaimed Mein Herr. "We very soon got to six yards to the mile. Then we tried a hundred yards to the mile. And then came the grandest idea of all! We actually made a map of the country, on the scale of a mile to the mile!"''<br>
''"Have you used it much?" I enquired.''<br>
''"It has never been spread out, yet," said Mein Herr: "the farmers objected: they said it would cover the whole country, and shut out the sunlight! So we now use the country itself, as its own map, and I assure you it does nearly as well.''

The title text is about the fact that a horizontal line on a worldwide Mercator projection corresponds to a line of latitude. Most lines of latitude are thousands of miles (kilometers) long, but they become smaller and smaller approaching the poles, and in fact there ''is'' a line of latitude in a small-diameter circle around each pole whose length would equal the width of the map that Cueball is looking at. If Cueball's map were 1 m wide, then this line of latitude would be at 89.999998568° N or S - that is, the line of latitude there would be one circle for each of the poles with a circumference of 1 m.

Mercator projections have been mentioned previously in [[977: Map Projections]], [[2082: Mercator Projection]], and [[2613: Bad Map Projection: Madagascator]].

==Transcript==
{{incomplete transcript|Do NOT delete this tag too soon.}}

:[Cueball and White Hat are looking at a world map on the wall showing a Mercator projection, with Cueball gesturing with his hand towards the map.]
:Cueball: This map is really misleading about the size of Greenland.
:Cueball: It's actually '''''much''''' bigger than that - it's hundreds of miles across.

{{comic discussion}}

[[Category:Comics featuring Cueball]]
[[Category:Comics featuring White Hat]]
[[Category:Maps]]
[[Category:Geography]]

Talk:2911: Greenland Size

2024-03-25T22:49:34Z

Take The A Train To Watertown: lewis carroll

2909: Moon Landing Mission Profiles

2024-03-21T14:55:31Z

Take The A Train To Watertown: echoing JFK

{{comic
| number = 2909
| date = March 20, 2024
| title = Moon Landing Mission Profiles
| image = moon_landing_mission_profiles_2x.png
| imagesize = 709x504px
| noexpand = true
| titletext = If you pick a low enough orbit, it gives you a lot of freedom to use a lightweight launch vehicle such as a stepladder.
}}

==Explanation==
{{incomplete|Created by A MOON THAT LOOKS ESPECIALLY LARGE TONIGHT - Please change this comment when editing this page. Do NOT delete this tag too soon.}}

Getting astronauts to the moon (and back) is not easy, it is hard.{{citation needed}} There are different strategies to do it. This comic reviews three mission profiles considered for the Apollo moon landings, and one which is absurd. In all cases, it only depicts the means to reach the Moon, more suitable for robotic missions that are not required to return, with manned/sample-return missions really requiring followup diagrams/notation to explain how to safely complete their journeys back to Earth.

'''{{w|Lunar Orbit Rendezvous}} (LOR)'''

Description: Using a single large rocket to get the required lunar orbiter and lander systems into trans-lunar orbit, which can then fulfil their eponymous roles.

Status: Chosen by the {{w|Apollo Program}} in the 1960s and 1970s.

Explanation: This was the actual method used in the Apollo missions. It was efficient in terms of fuel and cost. The main spacecraft ('command module') orbits the Moon, as the lander separates and uses its descent-stage to safely reach the surface.

After the Moon mission, the lander (ascent-stage only) ascends to dock once more with the command module in lunar orbit, the crew then return to Earth in the command module (leaving the abandoned ascent stage behind, in most cases purposefully directed to impact the Moon).

'''{{w|Earth Orbit Rendezvous}} (EOR)'''

Description: A large lunar-landing system is assembled in Earth orbit through several launches. Once complete, it travels to the Moon as a whole. It is depicted here as not required to orbit the Moon in full, in any way, but is shown needing to orbit Earth, as an unavoidable part of its profile.

Status: Rejected for requiring multiple {{w|Saturn V}} rockets per landing and potentially taking longer.

Explanation: This concept involved launching different parts of the spacecraft into Earth orbit using multiple rockets and then assembling them before heading to the Moon. It would have allowed almost arbitrarily large sizes of equipment to have reached the surface, perhaps to simplify the return journey, but with the complication of adding multiple orbital docking procedures to the project rather than most assembling and spacecraft mating being carried out prior to launch. It should be noted that Randall made a mistake on this point of the comic; the Earth Orbit Rendezvous would have required multiple launches of the {{w|Saturn IB}}, not multiple launches of the Saturn V.

'''{{w|Direct Ascent}}'''

Description: The lander is launched from Earth directly to the Moon without entering orbit.

Status: Rejected for requiring an unreasonably large rocket.

Explanation: This was a simpler but less feasible approach, where a single huge rocket (or a particularly large rocket stack) would send the lander straight to the Moon. The inefficiency comes in taking a comparatively huge rocket down to the Moon and back up, requiring a lot more fuel than a separate lander. It avoids having to 'park' items in orbit that it must later dock once more with, but then increases the mass that must land on/take off from the lunar surface, without being useful during this phase of the mission.

In reality, this was the approach imagined for the Nova C-8 rocket as an Apollo alternative. This was also the approach used in {{w|Destination Moon (comics)|Destination Moon}} from {{w|The Adventures of Tintin}}, with the fuel problem addressed by using a nuclear reactor for much of the trip—which would be a really bad idea in reality since "rockets have a tendency to explode"[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LHvR1fRTW8g]. Science fiction movies have frequently depicted this method of landing, either before the dawn of the actual Apollo program or (to save plot-time ''or'' by using a fictional increase in rocket capability) in more futuristic settings.

'''Lunar Earth Rendezvous (LER)'''

Description: The Moon transits to rendezvous with a spacecraft in low Earth orbit.

Status: Rejected because, humorously, "I guess no one thought of it?!"

Explanation: This is a fictional and impractical scenario. The Moon cannot propulse itself and cannot alter its orbit to rendezvous with a spacecraft. The Moon would also break up because {{w|low Earth orbit}} is within the {{w|Roche limit}}. Astronauts would theoretically land on the Moon, but the hypothetical fragments of the Moon would make the landing impractical. This would be also bad for the Earth's climate, tides, stock markets and ecosystems.

The title text imagines the moon coming to ''very'' low earth orbit, low enough to reach with a step ladder. There are many reasons this is wholly impractical, as well as civilization-ending. Dropping a moon on the Earth from 6 feet would likely cover the earth in about 43 km of moon matter (see [[2908: Moon Armor Index]]). If the moon somehow were put in orbit around the Earth at a height of 6 feet, the only difference is that debris would crash into you from the side at a faster velocity.

===Factual Mission Profiles===
The Apollo Program considered a number of possible mission profiles. Of the {{w|Apollo program#Choosing a mission mode|four shortlist plans}}, the Lunar Surface Rendevous plan was not shown or mentioned in this comic, but clearly inspired the title of the method created in its place.

With the ongoing work to achieve the {{w|Artemis program}}, the successor to Apollo, this comic is probably also making sideways references to the plans and equipment being developed to achieve it, which currently features several aspects of the above examples. A single crewed-launch is intending to rendezvous with, and make use of, additional equipment separately launched (including one that is very nearly one big rocket in its own right). Instead of assembling in Earth orbit, it will probably make use of a [https://www.nasa.gov/missions/artemis/lunar-near-rectilinear-halo-orbit-gateway lunar near-rectilinear halo orbit], or NRHO, to and from which the landing system will operate. There is also planning, still in an early stage, to establish lunar-surface infrastructure that would simplify the refuelling of the transfer craft and support surface operations.

The only depicted plan that should not play a part in upcoming missions is the one which may be more connected with some other quite different scenario which [[2561: Moonfall|has previously been referenced]] in xkcd.

==Transcript==
{{incomplete transcript|Do NOT delete this tag too soon.}}

:[Top left panel]
:'''Lunar orbit rendezvous'''
:Spacecraft orbits Moon, drops lander

:Chosen by the Apollo program

:[Top right panel]
:'''Earth orbit rendezvous'''
:Large lander assembled in Earth orbit via several launches, travels to Moon

:Rejected for requiring multiple Saturn Vs per landing and potentially taking longer

:[Lower left panel]
:'''Direct ascent'''
:Lander launched from Earth directly to Moon

:Rejected for requiring an unreasonably large rocket

:[Lower right panel]
:'''Lunar Earth rendezvous'''
:Moon transits to rendezvous with spacecraft in low Earth orbit

:Rejected because I guess no one thought of it?!

{{comic discussion}}

[[Category:Space]]

2906: Earth

2024-03-20T00:42:28Z

Take The A Train To Watertown: Orbital speeds

{{comic
| number = 2906
| date = March 13, 2024
| title = Earth
| image = earth_2x.png
| imagesize = 364x472px
| noexpand = true
| titletext = Just think of all the countless petty squabbles and misunderstandings, of all the fervent hatreds, over so insignificant a thing as the direction and duration of a rocket engine firing.
}}

==Explanation==
[[File:Pale Blue Dot.png|200px|right|thumb|The ''Pale Blue Dot'' image from Voyager 1. Earth is the "pale blue dot" halfway up the rightmost color band.]]
At first sight, this appears to be the famous {{w|Carl Sagan}} commentary, upon the ''{{w|Pale Blue Dot}}'' image of Earth, a picture taken by the {{w|Voyager 1 probe}} in 1990 (at that time 6 billion kilometers away) but having been transmitted back to Earth to be appreciated as one of the most iconic 'photos of Earth from space', along with ''{{w|Earthrise}}'' and ''{{w|The Blue Marble}}''. Sagan's written, and later spoken, words evoke how the lives of all of us are somehow confined to barely more than a single pixel's-worth of existence upon an already zoomed-in view of space.

From the caption, however, it appears that 'Carl' is not looking at an image. Instead it is a spacecraft window. The minute apparent size of the Earth is as a result of the spacecraft being very far from Earth. This is an unintended consequence of an attempt to deorbit from {{w|low Earth orbit}} (i.e. not more than 2000 kilometers from the Earth's surface, from which the Earth should still mostly fill any view that points towards it). Rather than transitioning from LEO into a re-entry trajectory, somehow the vessel and crew have been sent into a ''much'' higher-reaching orbit, if not into a solar or extra-solar trajectory. And it is apparently Carl's fault. The speech is thus not an inward view of where we all are, but an outward look at somewhere that all the crew (unwillingly, and against all recent expectations) are ''not''.


The title text continues with the traditional tone of the speech, only to become an implicit attempt to claim that it wasn't quite as drastic an error as it actually seems to have been.

The very same words (or as far as they go), but in the more traditional situation of an informative lecture, were previously used in [[1246: Pale Blue Dot]].

=== The scale of the error ===

The comic's distance from Earth is unlikely to be anywhere near that of Voyager 1, and would not be being seen portrayed by the same 1500mm high-resolution narrow-angle camera as took the alluded-to image. The apparent size of Earth, compared with Carl at his window, would depend a lot on the actual 'camera' geometry/position for the scene. For comparison, however, the Earth seen from the Moon is slightly under four times the diameter of the Moon as seen from the Earth, or perhaps nearly the size of a clenched fist, held at arm's length. This implies (unless the scene uses a particularly wide-angled lens, close to Carl and the window) that the vessel's position is now ''significantly'' beyond the orbit of the Moon.

The ''absence'' of a clearly visible Moon, which would have a near-identical phase to the illuminated Earth and could easily be the second brightest object in the scene, is therefore best explained by it being no more than a sub-pixel object, indistinguishable from the surrounding darkness of space, somewhere within thirty Earth diameters (and thus [[2205: Types of Approximation|approximately]], in this image, pixels) of the visible Earth. This could include being sufficiently in conjunction/opposition to Earth to blend in, or be obscured by it.

The general lack of other visible stars, etc, would be explained by the exposure being tuned to not wash out the illuminated internal view, and not being set up for useful astronomical shots, though may then set another range of useful limits on what magnitude of reflected sunlight must still arrive from Earth in order to remain visible.

The orbital speed in low-earth orbit is ~8 km/s. A typical de-orbiting maneuver requires slowing down by about 100 m/s (which according to the ''[[What_If%3F_(book)|What If]]'' chapter "Orbital Submarine" could be accomplished with the 24 Trident missiles carried aboard an Ohio-class submarine.) However, escape speed is ~11 km/s, meaning the vessel must go faster by ~3 km/s. So Carl has indeed made quite an error if he fired the boosters thirtyfold too much and in the opposite direction.

=== The "pale blue" dot ===
Although it might initially look like a white dot, the comic truly has used a pale blue color for the dot that represents Earth, with the color used in the "2x" version of the image seeming to be 0xBDCFF4.

This can be interpreted as predominently a very light gray, with an extra hint of green and a bigger hint of blue. Or redefined as an {{w|HSL and HSV|HSV}} triplet of of 220.4 (a greenish-blue hue), 22.5% (relatively unsaturated) and 95.7% (very bright), all consistent with how the sunlit side of an Earthlike world would look with large oceans, vast swathes of terrestrial vegetation and atmospheric clouds, necessarily abstracted down to a very limited number of pixels.

Looking at {{w|File:Pale_Blue_Dot.png|an actual example of the 'original'}}, seems to give a possible RGB of 0x95B39E (which gives: hue of 138, i.e. a 'bluish-green'; saturation level of 16.8%; brightness value of 70.2%), which is of course also consistent with the above assumptions about Earth. But all such images are of course ultimately derived as a composite of the data from [https://pds-rings.seti.org/voyager/iss/inst_cat_na1.html#filters eight separate 'filters'], which don't neatly fit into the {{w|RGB color model}}, and always subject to various kinds of post-processing and image conversion techniques.

==Transcript==
:[Carl Sagan (drawn Cueball like but with flat hair) is standing in front of a black screen with a tiny pale blue dot in the middle. He indicates the screen by holding out his right hand palm up towards the screen. He is speaking to someone off-panel, who replies from a star burst on the right edge of the panel.]
:Carl: Look again at that dot. That's home. On it everyone you love, everyone you know, everyone you ever heard of, every human being who ever was, lived out their lives...
:Carl: On a mote of dust suspended in a sunbeam.
:Off-panel voice: We '''''know,''''' Carl.

:[Caption below the panel:]
:Carl Sagan was '''''not''''' making us feel better about how badly he'd messed up the low Earth orbit reentry burn.

{{comic discussion}}

[[Category:Comics with color]]
[[Category:Comics featuring real people]]
[[Category:Space]]

Talk:2906: Earth

2024-03-20T00:35:03Z

Take The A Train To Watertown: still trying to get an italic right

I originally read the caption as "how badly ''we'd'' messed up", which... changes Sagan's tone somewhat. [[Special:Contributions/172.71.155.54|172.71.155.54]] 08:02, 14 March 2024 (UTC)

At first I thought the joke was that the rocket firing had somehow gone so catastrophically badly that the entire Earth had literally been reduced to dust. [[User:Fabian42|Fabian42]] ([[User talk:Fabian42|talk]]) 08:37, 14 March 2024 (UTC)
:I also had this notion at first. That after the failed burn Earth had been destroyed... But I think not so anymore. So thx explain xkcd. ;-) --[[User:Kynde|Kynde]] ([[User talk:Kynde|talk]]) 12:43, 14 March 2024 (UTC)

So, according to explainxkcd, that’s a ''square'' “spacecraft window”?? Why have we never seen a square spacecraft window in any other context, ever? Did Randall screw up that badly in the original comic, or was it a previous explainxkcd editor who screwed up here? [[Special:Contributions/172.70.214.60|172.70.214.60]] 08:58, 14 March 2024 (UTC)
:I'm not sure what you're on about and why anyone has to have screwed up. Why can't it be a rectangular (we don't know it's square) spacecraft window? [[User:Bischoff|Bischoff]] ([[User talk:Bischoff|talk]]) 09:53, 14 March 2024 (UTC)
::This is very clearly a triangle shaped window in a very elongated spaceship [[User:Whimsical|Whimsical]] ([[User talk:Whimsical|talk]]) 11:24, 14 March 2024 (UTC)
::: Maybe it is part of a huge spider-shaped window? (I home people here will remember that meta-reference to What If) [[Special:Contributions/172.71.94.208|172.71.94.208]] 12:28, 14 March 2024 (UTC)
::::This picture from the [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cupola_(ISS_module)#/media/File:Tracy_Caldwell_Dyson_in_Cupola_ISS.jpg Cupola] module of the ISS has trapeze like windows. But the one behind the astronaut could easily have been a rectangle from what can be seen in the picture. So to argue that this window could not have been shot the same is just silly. Of course it was important to the joke that you did not realize it was a window until reading the caption. Also if this space craft has held up to go so far form Earth with living inhabitants it is obviously not a space ship in use today! --[[User:Kynde|Kynde]] ([[User talk:Kynde|talk]]) 12:43, 14 March 2024 (UTC)
:::::There is precedent with the [https://www.sciencephoto.com/media/990677/view/crew-at-window-of-space-shuttle-discovery-2006 Space Shuttle] (aft flight-deck window, others were round, the 'forward flight-deck' ones were of course the main flight/piloting ones with awkward quadrilateral shapes and pesky instrument panels where none are in the comic). The windows in the Shuttle were actually a weight issue (certainly, at first, they were plain (chunky!) glass, and added a ''lot'' of weight to the design.
:::::Also look at {{w|File:Blue Origin M7.jpg|Blue Origin's capsule}} for more current design that could end up eventually on an orbital/extra-orbital vessel. Although Crew Dragon is more conservative, and {{w|File:MACES in Orion mock-up.jpg|Orion's interior}} looks like it isn't so big (while Starship's eventual window configuration might eventually be vastly more conservative than the Dan Dare/Flash Gordon aesthetic of the concept imagery).
:::::So... Possible, but depends upon the design needs for the craft (fully space-capable whilst ''intended'' to undergo re-entry, is all we really know). [[Special:Contributions/172.70.90.92|172.70.90.92]] 16:13, 14 March 2024 (UTC)

In my mind is the scene in C.S. Lewis's religious novel Out of the Silent Planet, where an English philologist, Ransom, is abducted by criminals into outer space and meets aliens. In chapter fifteen, a wise sorn tries to figure out which planet Ransom is from. Probably Thulcandra, the garbage planet of the Solar System. Ransom doesn't like the sound of that, but the sorn gets out something that isn't a telescope and he shows Thulcandra to Ransom, and yup, that's us. Lewis writes it better. I don't know if Carl Sagan had read this. --Robert Carnegie rja.carnegie@gmail.com [[Special:Contributions/141.101.99.75|141.101.99.75]] 13:12, 14 March 2024 (UTC)
:Hoo boy, yep that book (and its sequel) are beyond even Narnia in their religious symbolism (though the later environmentalist movements could definitely find an allegory in them, too, not sure how intended that was, in CSL's time, some time before a practical Gaia Hypothesis/etc). I can imagine Randall knows of the book (though clearly more influenced by Sagan in a direct lineage). Not entirely sure Sagan will have taken interest in that genre, nor taken the above to heart. Probably no more than his genuine scientific and rhetoric interests, which may be sufficient genesis for his own coined meme. But that's just my gut feeling. i.e. Worthy of note, but not directly (or singly-indirectly) connected. [[Special:Contributions/172.70.85.153|172.70.85.153]] 14:20, 14 March 2024 (UTC)
:: The Gaia Hypothesis is also religious, so it makes sense that it could be written into C. S. Lewis. Protecting the environment is important, but Mother Nature is basically a deity for misanthropes. {{unsigned ip|162.158.155.91|14:02, 15 March 2024}}
:::It ''can'' be believed religiously, and is named after a goddess, but also can be used to describe the (long-term) self-regulating interactions of the various elements of biomes and atmos/geos-/pedospheres that interact, in a more scientific way. (Some people religiously believe in evolution as God's "fire and forget" Creationist act to get us from the very start of Genesis until Revelations, for example, but it doesn't stop a strictly agnostic scientific analysis of natural selection getting us here, with or without writings that describe everything in traditional concepts that may not ''necessarily' be entirely accurate - but sustained "God's chosen people" in ways that mattered... to put just one teleological spin on it.)
:::It can just be considered a more complex (and entirelg natural) global thermostat. Which might have difficulty dealing with people lighting unexpected fires in the middle of their bedrooms (e.g.), and can't stop them burning their own house down if they start a runaway effect that it has no power to stop, but ''normally'' it can counteract variations of temperature by eventually adjusting the heating/cooling elements. Or, I suppose, decides that a hotter/colder house is better, so long as there are still some pot-plants that will thrive under the new conditions (until nudged back by other effects).
:::...that's simplistic, as an analogy, and in key ways 'not really correct', but it starts to reflect the no-god-needed tenet of the general idea. (Not sure I have confidence in "it'll be alright", but I would say it has better chance than "''we'll'' be alright", as we aren't vital to 'keep things going'. In fact, once we're gone then anything that remains will get its own chance to nudge conditions to a new equilibreum.) [[Special:Contributions/141.101.98.232|141.101.98.232]] 15:23, 15 March 2024 (UTC)

The color for the blue dot seems to be around #B6C8EB. --[[User:1234231587678|1234231587678]] ([[User talk:1234231587678|talk]]) 15:18, 14 March 2024 (UTC)
:Zooming in, the central pixel is definitely #ABBBDC (a very easy color to hand type), with some artifacts around it of varying shades of grey. [[Special:Contributions/172.69.59.184|172.69.59.184]] 20:58, 14 March 2024 (UTC)
::I think we're discussing different versions of the two images. The single central pixel of the dot in the "regular-sized" image on the xkcd site, "earth.png" (364 x 472 pixels), is now #B5C6E9, while the ''six'' central pixels in the 2x image, "earth_2x.png" (728 x 945 pixels), are #BDCFF4. The "regular-sized" version here, "363px-earth_2x.png" (363 x 471 pixels) has a single central pixel, #ABBBDC, while the large image on *this* site, "545px-earth_2x.png" (545 x 707 pixels), has ''two'' central pixels, #BDCFF4. [[User:BunsenH|BunsenH]] ([[User talk:BunsenH|talk]]) 22:33, 14 March 2024 (UTC)
I'd say he nailed Sagan's hair... [[User:Inexplicable|Inexplicable]] ([[User talk:Inexplicable|talk]]) 19:11, 14 March 2024 (UTC)

Carl may *claim* to have messed up, but I find it hard to believe that he wouldn't aim the rocket for deep space, given half a chance.
:Sounds about right. It's Carl Sagan... and besides, who ''wouldn't'' want the opportunity to venture into the final frontier? (Also, please remember to sign your post next time.) [[User:OmniDoom|OmniDoom]] ([[User talk:OmniDoom|talk]]) 23:40, 14 March 2024 (UTC)
::Um. "Spend a little while in LEO then go home and live out the rest of your life" vs. "spend a little while much further out, in the company of a few people who ''really resent you'', then die unpleasantly"? I'd go with the former. [[User:BunsenH|BunsenH]] ([[User talk:BunsenH|talk]]) 16:18, 15 March 2024 (UTC)

Does anybody know what is a typical reentry burn, for instance, when a capsule leaves the ISS? I wrote "some hundreds m/s" but it might be less than that. If the original orbit is very low, even a tiny reduction will lower the perigee enough to intersect the atmosphere. [[User:Rps|Rps]] ([[User talk:Rps|talk]]) 18:57, 18 March 2024 (UTC)
:According to ''What If: Orbital Submarine'', "A typical de-orbiting maneuver requires in the neighborhood of 100 m/s of delta-v, which means that the 24 Trident missiles carried by an Ohio-class submarine could be just enough to get it out of orbit." [[User:Take The A Train To Watertown|Take The A Train To Watertown]] ([[User talk:Take The A Train To Watertown|talk]]) 00:20, 20 March 2024 (UTC)
:Most treatments I see of the respective Delta-V Budgets basically deal with having to overcome the atmospheric and gravity deficits upon launch ''to'' LEO, which don't easily apply/discount in reverse. Also the delta-v needed betwixt low-LEO and high-LEO (or roughly encompassing the difference between current space-stations and a Hubble servicing mission) is almost a full km/s (either way), so you might need to add that to the much smaller(?) final bit of atmosphere-hitting adjustment, whereupon you hopefully are now slowing down entirely passively. (Rather than bouncing off...)
:If you can afford to wait, though, being at ISS heights will bring you down with ''zero'' (active) delta-v. There being tenuous atmosphere, already, that actually requires maintenance boosts every now and then to keep it up there. So maybe you need to consider it much as you do with a launch profile (over-powered rocket first-stage gets you over the atmospheric 'hump' quicker, and requires less total delta-v expendes for the same eventual mission). But the ultimate solution (entirely hand-brake your orbit, just fall straight down from space itself) is also not practical or necessary.
:All in all, your "some hundreds m/s" is probably not far wrong.
:Perhaps chase down the Crew Dragon operating manual, as a current example, if you want to put such actual figure(s) as used. Not sure how public that info is, but there are a lot of armchair experts out there that ''particularly'' reverse engineer vague SpaceX release-info into solid-looking figures that Musk then confirms "sound about right" if he responds to their assessments. If the usual suspects haven't crunched this number, then I'd be surprised. [[Special:Contributions/172.69.195.38|172.69.195.38]] 05:24, 19 March 2024 (UTC)
My reading: The original plan for Voyager 1 was it, after LEO to complete its mission and to be destroyed by burning in the atmosphere. So, all the spectacular discoveries of Voyager 1, including the Pale Blue Dot, are unintentional results of Cara’s miscalculations. Contrary to popular opinion, the Carl’svcoworkers are deeply disappointed that Voyager didn’t burn. [[Special:Contributions/162.158.60.145|162.158.60.145]] 12:43, 19 March 2024 (UTC)

Talk:2906: Earth

2024-03-20T00:34:20Z

Take The A Train To Watertown:

I originally read the caption as "how badly ''we'd'' messed up", which... changes Sagan's tone somewhat. [[Special:Contributions/172.71.155.54|172.71.155.54]] 08:02, 14 March 2024 (UTC)

At first I thought the joke was that the rocket firing had somehow gone so catastrophically badly that the entire Earth had literally been reduced to dust. [[User:Fabian42|Fabian42]] ([[User talk:Fabian42|talk]]) 08:37, 14 March 2024 (UTC)
:I also had this notion at first. That after the failed burn Earth had been destroyed... But I think not so anymore. So thx explain xkcd. ;-) --[[User:Kynde|Kynde]] ([[User talk:Kynde|talk]]) 12:43, 14 March 2024 (UTC)

So, according to explainxkcd, that’s a ''square'' “spacecraft window”?? Why have we never seen a square spacecraft window in any other context, ever? Did Randall screw up that badly in the original comic, or was it a previous explainxkcd editor who screwed up here? [[Special:Contributions/172.70.214.60|172.70.214.60]] 08:58, 14 March 2024 (UTC)
:I'm not sure what you're on about and why anyone has to have screwed up. Why can't it be a rectangular (we don't know it's square) spacecraft window? [[User:Bischoff|Bischoff]] ([[User talk:Bischoff|talk]]) 09:53, 14 March 2024 (UTC)
::This is very clearly a triangle shaped window in a very elongated spaceship [[User:Whimsical|Whimsical]] ([[User talk:Whimsical|talk]]) 11:24, 14 March 2024 (UTC)
::: Maybe it is part of a huge spider-shaped window? (I home people here will remember that meta-reference to What If) [[Special:Contributions/172.71.94.208|172.71.94.208]] 12:28, 14 March 2024 (UTC)
::::This picture from the [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cupola_(ISS_module)#/media/File:Tracy_Caldwell_Dyson_in_Cupola_ISS.jpg Cupola] module of the ISS has trapeze like windows. But the one behind the astronaut could easily have been a rectangle from what can be seen in the picture. So to argue that this window could not have been shot the same is just silly. Of course it was important to the joke that you did not realize it was a window until reading the caption. Also if this space craft has held up to go so far form Earth with living inhabitants it is obviously not a space ship in use today! --[[User:Kynde|Kynde]] ([[User talk:Kynde|talk]]) 12:43, 14 March 2024 (UTC)
:::::There is precedent with the [https://www.sciencephoto.com/media/990677/view/crew-at-window-of-space-shuttle-discovery-2006 Space Shuttle] (aft flight-deck window, others were round, the 'forward flight-deck' ones were of course the main flight/piloting ones with awkward quadrilateral shapes and pesky instrument panels where none are in the comic). The windows in the Shuttle were actually a weight issue (certainly, at first, they were plain (chunky!) glass, and added a ''lot'' of weight to the design.
:::::Also look at {{w|File:Blue Origin M7.jpg|Blue Origin's capsule}} for more current design that could end up eventually on an orbital/extra-orbital vessel. Although Crew Dragon is more conservative, and {{w|File:MACES in Orion mock-up.jpg|Orion's interior}} looks like it isn't so big (while Starship's eventual window configuration might eventually be vastly more conservative than the Dan Dare/Flash Gordon aesthetic of the concept imagery).
:::::So... Possible, but depends upon the design needs for the craft (fully space-capable whilst ''intended'' to undergo re-entry, is all we really know). [[Special:Contributions/172.70.90.92|172.70.90.92]] 16:13, 14 March 2024 (UTC)

In my mind is the scene in C.S. Lewis's religious novel Out of the Silent Planet, where an English philologist, Ransom, is abducted by criminals into outer space and meets aliens. In chapter fifteen, a wise sorn tries to figure out which planet Ransom is from. Probably Thulcandra, the garbage planet of the Solar System. Ransom doesn't like the sound of that, but the sorn gets out something that isn't a telescope and he shows Thulcandra to Ransom, and yup, that's us. Lewis writes it better. I don't know if Carl Sagan had read this. --Robert Carnegie rja.carnegie@gmail.com [[Special:Contributions/141.101.99.75|141.101.99.75]] 13:12, 14 March 2024 (UTC)
:Hoo boy, yep that book (and its sequel) are beyond even Narnia in their religious symbolism (though the later environmentalist movements could definitely find an allegory in them, too, not sure how intended that was, in CSL's time, some time before a practical Gaia Hypothesis/etc). I can imagine Randall knows of the book (though clearly more influenced by Sagan in a direct lineage). Not entirely sure Sagan will have taken interest in that genre, nor taken the above to heart. Probably no more than his genuine scientific and rhetoric interests, which may be sufficient genesis for his own coined meme. But that's just my gut feeling. i.e. Worthy of note, but not directly (or singly-indirectly) connected. [[Special:Contributions/172.70.85.153|172.70.85.153]] 14:20, 14 March 2024 (UTC)
:: The Gaia Hypothesis is also religious, so it makes sense that it could be written into C. S. Lewis. Protecting the environment is important, but Mother Nature is basically a deity for misanthropes. {{unsigned ip|162.158.155.91|14:02, 15 March 2024}}
:::It ''can'' be believed religiously, and is named after a goddess, but also can be used to describe the (long-term) self-regulating interactions of the various elements of biomes and atmos/geos-/pedospheres that interact, in a more scientific way. (Some people religiously believe in evolution as God's "fire and forget" Creationist act to get us from the very start of Genesis until Revelations, for example, but it doesn't stop a strictly agnostic scientific analysis of natural selection getting us here, with or without writings that describe everything in traditional concepts that may not ''necessarily' be entirely accurate - but sustained "God's chosen people" in ways that mattered... to put just one teleological spin on it.)
:::It can just be considered a more complex (and entirelg natural) global thermostat. Which might have difficulty dealing with people lighting unexpected fires in the middle of their bedrooms (e.g.), and can't stop them burning their own house down if they start a runaway effect that it has no power to stop, but ''normally'' it can counteract variations of temperature by eventually adjusting the heating/cooling elements. Or, I suppose, decides that a hotter/colder house is better, so long as there are still some pot-plants that will thrive under the new conditions (until nudged back by other effects).
:::...that's simplistic, as an analogy, and in key ways 'not really correct', but it starts to reflect the no-god-needed tenet of the general idea. (Not sure I have confidence in "it'll be alright", but I would say it has better chance than "''we'll'' be alright", as we aren't vital to 'keep things going'. In fact, once we're gone then anything that remains will get its own chance to nudge conditions to a new equilibreum.) [[Special:Contributions/141.101.98.232|141.101.98.232]] 15:23, 15 March 2024 (UTC)

The color for the blue dot seems to be around #B6C8EB. --[[User:1234231587678|1234231587678]] ([[User talk:1234231587678|talk]]) 15:18, 14 March 2024 (UTC)
:Zooming in, the central pixel is definitely #ABBBDC (a very easy color to hand type), with some artifacts around it of varying shades of grey. [[Special:Contributions/172.69.59.184|172.69.59.184]] 20:58, 14 March 2024 (UTC)
::I think we're discussing different versions of the two images. The single central pixel of the dot in the "regular-sized" image on the xkcd site, "earth.png" (364 x 472 pixels), is now #B5C6E9, while the ''six'' central pixels in the 2x image, "earth_2x.png" (728 x 945 pixels), are #BDCFF4. The "regular-sized" version here, "363px-earth_2x.png" (363 x 471 pixels) has a single central pixel, #ABBBDC, while the large image on *this* site, "545px-earth_2x.png" (545 x 707 pixels), has ''two'' central pixels, #BDCFF4. [[User:BunsenH|BunsenH]] ([[User talk:BunsenH|talk]]) 22:33, 14 March 2024 (UTC)
I'd say he nailed Sagan's hair... [[User:Inexplicable|Inexplicable]] ([[User talk:Inexplicable|talk]]) 19:11, 14 March 2024 (UTC)

Carl may *claim* to have messed up, but I find it hard to believe that he wouldn't aim the rocket for deep space, given half a chance.
:Sounds about right. It's Carl Sagan... and besides, who ''wouldn't'' want the opportunity to venture into the final frontier? (Also, please remember to sign your post next time.) [[User:OmniDoom|OmniDoom]] ([[User talk:OmniDoom|talk]]) 23:40, 14 March 2024 (UTC)
::Um. "Spend a little while in LEO then go home and live out the rest of your life" vs. "spend a little while much further out, in the company of a few people who ''really resent you'', then die unpleasantly"? I'd go with the former. [[User:BunsenH|BunsenH]] ([[User talk:BunsenH|talk]]) 16:18, 15 March 2024 (UTC)

Does anybody know what is a typical reentry burn, for instance, when a capsule leaves the ISS? I wrote "some hundreds m/s" but it might be less than that. If the original orbit is very low, even a tiny reduction will lower the perigee enough to intersect the atmosphere. [[User:Rps|Rps]] ([[User talk:Rps|talk]]) 18:57, 18 March 2024 (UTC)
:According to 'What If: Orbital Submarine', "A typical de-orbiting maneuver requires in the neighborhood of 100 m/s of delta-v, which means that the 24 Trident missiles carried by an Ohio-class submarine could be just enough to get it out of orbit." [[User:Take The A Train To Watertown|Take The A Train To Watertown]] ([[User talk:Take The A Train To Watertown|talk]]) 00:20, 20 March 2024 (UTC)
:Most treatments I see of the respective Delta-V Budgets basically deal with having to overcome the atmospheric and gravity deficits upon launch ''to'' LEO, which don't easily apply/discount in reverse. Also the delta-v needed betwixt low-LEO and high-LEO (or roughly encompassing the difference between current space-stations and a Hubble servicing mission) is almost a full km/s (either way), so you might need to add that to the much smaller(?) final bit of atmosphere-hitting adjustment, whereupon you hopefully are now slowing down entirely passively. (Rather than bouncing off...)
:If you can afford to wait, though, being at ISS heights will bring you down with ''zero'' (active) delta-v. There being tenuous atmosphere, already, that actually requires maintenance boosts every now and then to keep it up there. So maybe you need to consider it much as you do with a launch profile (over-powered rocket first-stage gets you over the atmospheric 'hump' quicker, and requires less total delta-v expendes for the same eventual mission). But the ultimate solution (entirely hand-brake your orbit, just fall straight down from space itself) is also not practical or necessary.
:All in all, your "some hundreds m/s" is probably not far wrong.
:Perhaps chase down the Crew Dragon operating manual, as a current example, if you want to put such actual figure(s) as used. Not sure how public that info is, but there are a lot of armchair experts out there that ''particularly'' reverse engineer vague SpaceX release-info into solid-looking figures that Musk then confirms "sound about right" if he responds to their assessments. If the usual suspects haven't crunched this number, then I'd be surprised. [[Special:Contributions/172.69.195.38|172.69.195.38]] 05:24, 19 March 2024 (UTC)
My reading: The original plan for Voyager 1 was it, after LEO to complete its mission and to be destroyed by burning in the atmosphere. So, all the spectacular discoveries of Voyager 1, including the Pale Blue Dot, are unintentional results of Cara’s miscalculations. Contrary to popular opinion, the Carl’svcoworkers are deeply disappointed that Voyager didn’t burn. [[Special:Contributions/162.158.60.145|162.158.60.145]] 12:43, 19 March 2024 (UTC)

Talk:2906: Earth

2024-03-20T00:20:20Z

Take The A Train To Watertown:

I originally read the caption as "how badly ''we'd'' messed up", which... changes Sagan's tone somewhat. [[Special:Contributions/172.71.155.54|172.71.155.54]] 08:02, 14 March 2024 (UTC)

At first I thought the joke was that the rocket firing had somehow gone so catastrophically badly that the entire Earth had literally been reduced to dust. [[User:Fabian42|Fabian42]] ([[User talk:Fabian42|talk]]) 08:37, 14 March 2024 (UTC)
:I also had this notion at first. That after the failed burn Earth had been destroyed... But I think not so anymore. So thx explain xkcd. ;-) --[[User:Kynde|Kynde]] ([[User talk:Kynde|talk]]) 12:43, 14 March 2024 (UTC)

So, according to explainxkcd, that’s a ''square'' “spacecraft window”?? Why have we never seen a square spacecraft window in any other context, ever? Did Randall screw up that badly in the original comic, or was it a previous explainxkcd editor who screwed up here? [[Special:Contributions/172.70.214.60|172.70.214.60]] 08:58, 14 March 2024 (UTC)
:I'm not sure what you're on about and why anyone has to have screwed up. Why can't it be a rectangular (we don't know it's square) spacecraft window? [[User:Bischoff|Bischoff]] ([[User talk:Bischoff|talk]]) 09:53, 14 March 2024 (UTC)
::This is very clearly a triangle shaped window in a very elongated spaceship [[User:Whimsical|Whimsical]] ([[User talk:Whimsical|talk]]) 11:24, 14 March 2024 (UTC)
::: Maybe it is part of a huge spider-shaped window? (I home people here will remember that meta-reference to What If) [[Special:Contributions/172.71.94.208|172.71.94.208]] 12:28, 14 March 2024 (UTC)
::::This picture from the [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cupola_(ISS_module)#/media/File:Tracy_Caldwell_Dyson_in_Cupola_ISS.jpg Cupola] module of the ISS has trapeze like windows. But the one behind the astronaut could easily have been a rectangle from what can be seen in the picture. So to argue that this window could not have been shot the same is just silly. Of course it was important to the joke that you did not realize it was a window until reading the caption. Also if this space craft has held up to go so far form Earth with living inhabitants it is obviously not a space ship in use today! --[[User:Kynde|Kynde]] ([[User talk:Kynde|talk]]) 12:43, 14 March 2024 (UTC)
:::::There is precedent with the [https://www.sciencephoto.com/media/990677/view/crew-at-window-of-space-shuttle-discovery-2006 Space Shuttle] (aft flight-deck window, others were round, the 'forward flight-deck' ones were of course the main flight/piloting ones with awkward quadrilateral shapes and pesky instrument panels where none are in the comic). The windows in the Shuttle were actually a weight issue (certainly, at first, they were plain (chunky!) glass, and added a ''lot'' of weight to the design.
:::::Also look at {{w|File:Blue Origin M7.jpg|Blue Origin's capsule}} for more current design that could end up eventually on an orbital/extra-orbital vessel. Although Crew Dragon is more conservative, and {{w|File:MACES in Orion mock-up.jpg|Orion's interior}} looks like it isn't so big (while Starship's eventual window configuration might eventually be vastly more conservative than the Dan Dare/Flash Gordon aesthetic of the concept imagery).
:::::So... Possible, but depends upon the design needs for the craft (fully space-capable whilst ''intended'' to undergo re-entry, is all we really know). [[Special:Contributions/172.70.90.92|172.70.90.92]] 16:13, 14 March 2024 (UTC)

In my mind is the scene in C.S. Lewis's religious novel Out of the Silent Planet, where an English philologist, Ransom, is abducted by criminals into outer space and meets aliens. In chapter fifteen, a wise sorn tries to figure out which planet Ransom is from. Probably Thulcandra, the garbage planet of the Solar System. Ransom doesn't like the sound of that, but the sorn gets out something that isn't a telescope and he shows Thulcandra to Ransom, and yup, that's us. Lewis writes it better. I don't know if Carl Sagan had read this. --Robert Carnegie rja.carnegie@gmail.com [[Special:Contributions/141.101.99.75|141.101.99.75]] 13:12, 14 March 2024 (UTC)
:Hoo boy, yep that book (and its sequel) are beyond even Narnia in their religious symbolism (though the later environmentalist movements could definitely find an allegory in them, too, not sure how intended that was, in CSL's time, some time before a practical Gaia Hypothesis/etc). I can imagine Randall knows of the book (though clearly more influenced by Sagan in a direct lineage). Not entirely sure Sagan will have taken interest in that genre, nor taken the above to heart. Probably no more than his genuine scientific and rhetoric interests, which may be sufficient genesis for his own coined meme. But that's just my gut feeling. i.e. Worthy of note, but not directly (or singly-indirectly) connected. [[Special:Contributions/172.70.85.153|172.70.85.153]] 14:20, 14 March 2024 (UTC)
:: The Gaia Hypothesis is also religious, so it makes sense that it could be written into C. S. Lewis. Protecting the environment is important, but Mother Nature is basically a deity for misanthropes. {{unsigned ip|162.158.155.91|14:02, 15 March 2024}}
:::It ''can'' be believed religiously, and is named after a goddess, but also can be used to describe the (long-term) self-regulating interactions of the various elements of biomes and atmos/geos-/pedospheres that interact, in a more scientific way. (Some people religiously believe in evolution as God's "fire and forget" Creationist act to get us from the very start of Genesis until Revelations, for example, but it doesn't stop a strictly agnostic scientific analysis of natural selection getting us here, with or without writings that describe everything in traditional concepts that may not ''necessarily' be entirely accurate - but sustained "God's chosen people" in ways that mattered... to put just one teleological spin on it.)
:::It can just be considered a more complex (and entirelg natural) global thermostat. Which might have difficulty dealing with people lighting unexpected fires in the middle of their bedrooms (e.g.), and can't stop them burning their own house down if they start a runaway effect that it has no power to stop, but ''normally'' it can counteract variations of temperature by eventually adjusting the heating/cooling elements. Or, I suppose, decides that a hotter/colder house is better, so long as there are still some pot-plants that will thrive under the new conditions (until nudged back by other effects).
:::...that's simplistic, as an analogy, and in key ways 'not really correct', but it starts to reflect the no-god-needed tenet of the general idea. (Not sure I have confidence in "it'll be alright", but I would say it has better chance than "''we'll'' be alright", as we aren't vital to 'keep things going'. In fact, once we're gone then anything that remains will get its own chance to nudge conditions to a new equilibreum.) [[Special:Contributions/141.101.98.232|141.101.98.232]] 15:23, 15 March 2024 (UTC)

The color for the blue dot seems to be around #B6C8EB. --[[User:1234231587678|1234231587678]] ([[User talk:1234231587678|talk]]) 15:18, 14 March 2024 (UTC)
:Zooming in, the central pixel is definitely #ABBBDC (a very easy color to hand type), with some artifacts around it of varying shades of grey. [[Special:Contributions/172.69.59.184|172.69.59.184]] 20:58, 14 March 2024 (UTC)
::I think we're discussing different versions of the two images. The single central pixel of the dot in the "regular-sized" image on the xkcd site, "earth.png" (364 x 472 pixels), is now #B5C6E9, while the ''six'' central pixels in the 2x image, "earth_2x.png" (728 x 945 pixels), are #BDCFF4. The "regular-sized" version here, "363px-earth_2x.png" (363 x 471 pixels) has a single central pixel, #ABBBDC, while the large image on *this* site, "545px-earth_2x.png" (545 x 707 pixels), has ''two'' central pixels, #BDCFF4. [[User:BunsenH|BunsenH]] ([[User talk:BunsenH|talk]]) 22:33, 14 March 2024 (UTC)
I'd say he nailed Sagan's hair... [[User:Inexplicable|Inexplicable]] ([[User talk:Inexplicable|talk]]) 19:11, 14 March 2024 (UTC)

Carl may *claim* to have messed up, but I find it hard to believe that he wouldn't aim the rocket for deep space, given half a chance.
:Sounds about right. It's Carl Sagan... and besides, who ''wouldn't'' want the opportunity to venture into the final frontier? (Also, please remember to sign your post next time.) [[User:OmniDoom|OmniDoom]] ([[User talk:OmniDoom|talk]]) 23:40, 14 March 2024 (UTC)
::Um. "Spend a little while in LEO then go home and live out the rest of your life" vs. "spend a little while much further out, in the company of a few people who ''really resent you'', then die unpleasantly"? I'd go with the former. [[User:BunsenH|BunsenH]] ([[User talk:BunsenH|talk]]) 16:18, 15 March 2024 (UTC)

Does anybody know what is a typical reentry burn, for instance, when a capsule leaves the ISS? I wrote "some hundreds m/s" but it might be less than that. If the original orbit is very low, even a tiny reduction will lower the perigee enough to intersect the atmosphere. [[User:Rps|Rps]] ([[User talk:Rps|talk]]) 18:57, 18 March 2024 (UTC)
:According to *What If: Orbital Submarine*, "A typical de-orbiting maneuver requires in the neighborhood of 100 m/s of delta-v, which means that the 24 Trident missiles carried by an Ohio-class submarine could be just enough to get it out of orbit." [[User:Take The A Train To Watertown|Take The A Train To Watertown]] ([[User talk:Take The A Train To Watertown|talk]]) 00:20, 20 March 2024 (UTC)
:Most treatments I see of the respective Delta-V Budgets basically deal with having to overcome the atmospheric and gravity deficits upon launch ''to'' LEO, which don't easily apply/discount in reverse. Also the delta-v needed betwixt low-LEO and high-LEO (or roughly encompassing the difference between current space-stations and a Hubble servicing mission) is almost a full km/s (either way), so you might need to add that to the much smaller(?) final bit of atmosphere-hitting adjustment, whereupon you hopefully are now slowing down entirely passively. (Rather than bouncing off...)
:If you can afford to wait, though, being at ISS heights will bring you down with ''zero'' (active) delta-v. There being tenuous atmosphere, already, that actually requires maintenance boosts every now and then to keep it up there. So maybe you need to consider it much as you do with a launch profile (over-powered rocket first-stage gets you over the atmospheric 'hump' quicker, and requires less total delta-v expendes for the same eventual mission). But the ultimate solution (entirely hand-brake your orbit, just fall straight down from space itself) is also not practical or necessary.
:All in all, your "some hundreds m/s" is probably not far wrong.
:Perhaps chase down the Crew Dragon operating manual, as a current example, if you want to put such actual figure(s) as used. Not sure how public that info is, but there are a lot of armchair experts out there that ''particularly'' reverse engineer vague SpaceX release-info into solid-looking figures that Musk then confirms "sound about right" if he responds to their assessments. If the usual suspects haven't crunched this number, then I'd be surprised. [[Special:Contributions/172.69.195.38|172.69.195.38]] 05:24, 19 March 2024 (UTC)
My reading: The original plan for Voyager 1 was it, after LEO to complete its mission and to be destroyed by burning in the atmosphere. So, all the spectacular discoveries of Voyager 1, including the Pale Blue Dot, are unintentional results of Cara’s miscalculations. Contrary to popular opinion, the Carl’svcoworkers are deeply disappointed that Voyager didn’t burn. [[Special:Contributions/162.158.60.145|162.158.60.145]] 12:43, 19 March 2024 (UTC)

2891: Log Cabin

2024-02-07T22:39:44Z

Take The A Train To Watertown: mention golden rectangle

{{comic
| number = 2891
| date = February 7, 2024
| title = Log Cabin
| image = log_cabin_2x.png
| imagesize = 353x265px
| noexpand = true
| titletext = I'm sure the building inspectors will approve my design once they finally manage to escape.
}}

==Explanation==
{{incomplete|Created by a TRAPPED BUILDING INSPECTOR APPROXIMATELY 1.6180 METERS TALL- Please change this comment when editing this page. Do NOT delete this tag too soon.}}
This is a comic featuring a {{w|floor plan}}, presumably of a {{w|log cabin}}, and a pun on the word "log". The odd part about it is the right half, which appears to be infinitely recursive copies of the building, like a {{w|fractal}}. The house as a whole represents a "golden rectangle" with a ratio of approximately 1.618, with sucessively smaller living areas (further subdivided into rooms, to a common but shrunken and rotated plan) being square adjoined by a golden-rectangle of all smaller living areas in the manner of the areas defined by the classic {{w|Golden spiral}} diagram. The joke is that Randall is intentionally conflating the word "log" in the common phrase "log cabin," where "log" refers to the wood the cabin is made of, as opposed to the mathematical function of the "log" ({{w|logarithm function}}), of which the ratios here are a special case (base phi).

Every square subunit of the premises consists of a main combined kitchen/lounge area, off which leads a shower-equipped bathroom, two bedrooms (a double-bed one with ensuite bath-equipped bathroom, and another with a single bed; both having suitable walk-in closet space) and the door that serves as the entry into the next inwards level of the floorplan.

In the title text, Randall says that he is confident that building inspectors will approve his log cabin, assuming that they can escape. As one moves deeper into the infinite spiral of architecture, the entire log cabin ''seems'' to be a denser labyrinth of rooms and hallways.

It is unknown how the inspectors lost in the inner rooms would shrink in the same ratio, and would actually only have to head out through the last door they walked in through (or two, if they're currently in the en-suite) and then exit each 'main' area in turn until they exited the building itself. If they have any trouble at all (other than rescaling themselves), it would be that there is ''always'' a further inward area which they might consider needs exploring in order to fulfil their inspection routine.

The most famous bad math joke on the title is
$\int 1/cabin d(cabin) = houseboat $
as a houseboat is (log cabin + C). This does not seem to be related to the topic of this comic.

[https://www.generations-quilt-patterns.com/log-cabin-quilt-block.html Log Cabin] is also a classic quilting block, which starts with a tiny square and spirals outwards.

==Transcript==
{{incomplete transcript|Do NOT delete this tag too soon.}}

:[A drawing of the top view of a log cabin, which includes two beds, a kitchen, a bathroom and furniture. A smaller version of the log cabin is connected to the main building. An even smaller version is connected to the smaller version, and so on, forming a golden rectangle.]

:[Caption below the panel]:
:Log cabin

{{comic discussion}}

[[Category:Engineering]]
[[Category:Math]]
[[Category:Puns]]

1244: Six Words

2023-12-16T02:23:20Z

Take The A Train To Watertown: /* Trivia */ Project Lyra

{{comic
| number = 1244
| date = July 29, 2013
| title = Six Words
| image = six words.png
| titletext = Ahem. We are STRICTLY an Orbiter shop.
}}

==Explanation==
The six words are: "It works in ''Kerbal Space Program''".

The {{w|Kuiper Belt}} is a region of the outer Solar System beyond the orbit of Neptune consisting of numerous small icy bodies, including the dwarf planets {{w|Pluto}} and {{w|Eris (dwarf planet)|Eris}}. An {{w|Oberth effect|Oberth maneuver}} is a spaceflight maneuver, specifically an engine burn performed during the flyby of a celestial body. The point of this is to optimize usable energy, because rocket burns are more effective to perform at high speeds than at low speeds. The more massive the body and the lower the altitude, the higher the flyby speed will be, and the greater the performance gain due to the Oberth effect. The theoretical way to use rocket fuel most efficiently is therefore to execute the burn during a flyby of the most massive celestial body available, as close as possible.

[[Cueball]] is proposing to implement an "Oberth Kuiper Maneuver", and the proposal diagram shows the spacecraft using {{w|Gravity assist|gravity assists}} to travel first towards (presumably) {{w|Venus}} for a first boost, then towards Jupiter for another swing by, aiming it back towards the {{w|Sun}}, the most massive Solar System body, to perform an Oberth maneuver at the point of closest approach, as indicated by a small dot along the spacecraft trajectory. It is possible that the diagram might only be a simplified outline of a more complex flight plan. For example, the trajectory from Earth to Venus would require two separate burns in deep space. The first burn would occur immediately after escaping Earth's sphere of influence. The second burn would occur about halfway to Venus. Alternatively, Cueball may have gotten it wrong, or [[Randall]] may simply not have concerned himself with such things for the purpose of a webcomic sketch.

An Oberth maneuver in the close vicinity of the Sun, while theoretically possible and extraordinarily effective at the speeds the spacecraft would reach, would however be very difficult to carry out in real life, because the neighborhood of the Sun is an extremely hostile environment{{Citation needed}} and the spacecraft could be incinerated during a too-close flyby.

Cueball's argument for why the maneuver will work in real life is that it works in ''{{w|Kerbal Space Program}}'' (KSP), a sandbox spaceflight simulator game. While KSP does simulate a lot of the physics of space flight, it is (necessarily) simplistic in its modeling of orbital dynamics. For example, KSP does not do any {{w|N-body simulation}}s, so if one were flying a rocket from Earth to the moon, in the game the rocket would only be affected by Earth's gravity until it reaches a certain point where it will only be affected by the moon's gravity, unlike in real life where the rocket would feel the effects of both celestial bodies at all times. Therefore, orbits modeled using KSP would poorly reflect the actual orbital behavior of a probe traveling through the solar system on a multi-year mission involving multiple fly-by maneuvers.

Another reason why using KSP would not inspire confidence is that many players playing the game use a 'trial-and-error' method, field testing designs and inevitably either crashing them or running out of fuel stranding the craft in deep space. Inside a game this is not a major issue as one can simply reload an earlier save with no repercussions, but in real life this would result in expensive costs constructing new spacecraft and even loss of human life, which NASA would likely frown upon.{{Citation needed}}

The humor in referencing KSP in the comic lies in using a simple game program to simulate complex space missions which in reality take a great number of experts to plan and implement. Fly-by maneuvers, used to minimize the fuel needed to reach a destination, need to be very carefully timed - often to within seconds - so the use of ''Kerbal Space Program'' to simulate them isn't a good enough argument for NASA to agree to implement the proposal, and implies simplistic thinking on the part of the proposer; therefore one should not say it at NASA.

The title text refers to ''{{w|Orbiter (simulator)|Orbiter}}'', which is another spaceflight simulator program. The title text suggests that the argument doesn't work for NASA, not because it's not scientifically sound, but because NASA relies on the ''Orbiter'' simulator rather than the ''Kerbal'' simulator (although the proposed maneuver would appear to work in both).

==Transcript==
:[Caption above the frame:]
:The six words you ''never'' say at NASA:

:[A diagram shows a possible trajectory path for a space probe starting at Earth and involving two slingshots around two other planets, and finally the Sun. There is a title above and a label beneath the diagram. The diagram is being presented by Cueball in front of three other Cueball-like guys. Behind Cueball Ponytail appears to be taken by surprise by his six words, and holds her hand to her mouth.]
:Title: Proposal:
:Label: Oberth Kuiper Maneuver

:Cueball: And besides—
:Cueball: It works in Kerbal Space Program.

==Trivia==
*In 2018, {{w|NASA}} launched a mission to the sun with a closest distance of only 8.5 solar radii. The {{w|Parker Solar Probe}} is using seven Venus flybys to reach its [http://parkersolarprobe.jhuapl.edu/index.php first close approach]. The maneuvers will last nearly seven years, before the real mission starts.

*{{w|Project Lyra}} is a proposed mission to {{w|Oumuamua}} using gravity assists from Earth and Jupiter to perform a sun flyby at 3-10 solar radii. With a 2030 launch suggested, it would then take the craft over two decades to catch up to the fast-moving body.

*Humorously, in real life [http://news.cnet.com/8301-1023_3-57495117-93/mars-curiosity-rover-team-prefers-macs-to-pcs/ a group of NASA team members "love" to play ''Kerbal''].

{{comic discussion}}

[[Category:Comics featuring Cueball]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Ponytail]]
[[Category:Multiple Cueballs]]
[[Category:Astronomy]]
[[Category:Space probes]]
[[Category:Space]]
[[Category:Kerbal Space Program]]

2844: Black Holes vs Regular Holes

2023-10-24T20:52:16Z

Take The A Train To Watertown: archaeology

{{comic
| number = 2844
| date = October 20, 2023
| title = Black Holes vs Regular Holes
| image = black_holes_vs_regular_holes_2x.png
| imagesize = 525x743px
| noexpand = true
| titletext = Created by the collapse of: [massive stars] [Florida limestone bedrock]
}}

==Explanation==
{{incomplete|Created by a CHILD FALLING IN TO A FRIEND'S BLACK HOLE - Please change this comment when editing this page. Do NOT delete this tag too soon.}}
This comic is a comparison between {{w|black hole}}s and regular, everyday {{w|hole}}s.

{| class="wikitable"
!
! scope="col"| Black hole
! scope="col"| Regular hole
! Scope="col"| Explanation
|-
! scope="row" | Usually formed by...
| Supernovas, colliding stars
| Shovels, small mammals
| When a sufficiently large star has consumed nearly all of its low-atomic-weight "fuel", it collapses. This triggers an explosion of what "fuel" remains, creating a supernova. If enough mass remains after the explosion, it becomes a black hole. A black hole can also be formed if enough mass in a small volume accumulates by two stars, especially neutron stars, colliding. On the contrary, regular holes are often created by humans using shovels, as well as small mammals such as moles or dogs. Of course, this is by no means limited only to small mammals. Many animals, from elephants to ants, are also known to create this kind of hole.
|-
! scope="row" | Falling in is...
| Definitely fatal
| Sometimes fatal
| Falling into a black hole is almost always fatal, because of the shearing effect created by tidal forces, and/or radiation from its {{w|accretion disk}}. If the black hole was extremely massive (on the order of many galaxies' worth of mass) and had a very large event horizon, the tidal forces at its event horizon would not be very strong, nor would there be a noticeable accretion disk. On the other hand, if a regular hole is deep enough, it is possible for someone to die by falling into it.
|-
! scope="row" | Created by the Big Bang
| Maybe
| No
| Like many other celestial objects, black holes may have been created by the {{w|Big Bang}}, however ordinary holes were almost definitely not created this way. [[Technically]], though, because the entire universe started with the Big Bang, everything in it (including ordinary holes) could be argued to be "created" by it.
|-
! scope="row" | Created by children playing at the beach
| I '''''really''''' hope not
| Yes
| Creating black holes causes many unfortunate events to occur, and is very difficult to do. Hence, Randall really hopes that children are not accidentally, let alone intentionally, creating black holes on the beach, as this would be cataclysmic for our planet.{{citation needed}} On the other hand, children commonly dig holes in sand at beaches, and this is a normal thing for them to do.
Alternatively, it could refer to some {{tvtropes|EldritchAbomination|Eldritch Abomination}} children playing at a [https://what-if.xkcd.com/83/ cosmic beach]. In that case, "hopefully not" is also a good response.
|-
! scope="row" | Source of many precious metals
| Indirectly
| Yes
| Both the supernovae that create black holes and various events involving black holes, such as black hole/neutron star mergers, produce large quantities of heavy elements, including precious metals found on Earth. Those metals are often underground, and are thus recovered from a regular hole, called a mine.
|-
! scope="row" | Einstein imagined falling into one
| Yes
| Probably at least once
| The thought experiments of {{w|Albert Einstein}}, particularly in relation to {{w|general relativity}}, involve consideration of what happens when one falls through gravitationally-curved space. Aside from this, almost everyone has had a reason to consider the possibility of falling into a normal hole.
|-
! scope="row" | A component of dark matter
| Maybe
| Probably not
| {{w|Dark matter}} is a theoretical part of the universe, a large amount of its total calculated mass which cannot (yet) be directly seen. It is considered possible that at least some of this 'missing mass' is in the form of black holes. It is not generally considered an option that ordinary holes have anything to do with this.
|-
! scope="row" | Created by the Large Hadron Collider
| No
| Yes
| There were concerns when the {{w|Large Hadron Collider}} (LHC), a particle super-collider, was put into operation that it would create a black hole and destroy the Earth. This obviously hasn't happened yet,{{citation needed}} and is unlikely ever to happen at all. However, many regular holes were created by the LHC, primarily during its construction. This is because it is mostly underground, and holes are an efficient way to get underground.
|-
! scope="row" | Massive stars often collapse into them
| Yes
| No
| If a star is large enough, when the star dies, it may still have enough gravity to collapse back into itself, thus creating a black hole. This does not happen with regular holes, and would likely mean the end of the world if one did. This is true regardless of whether the star collapses into the hole or a massive, star-shaped hole collapses into a black hole.
|-
! scope="row" | Explored by humans in famous sci-fi stories
| Yes
| Yes
| Many sci-fi stories and movies explore black holes and regular holes alike. In particular, there's the eponymous classic ''{{w|The Black Hole}}'' and more recent films such as ''{{w|Interstellar (film)|Interstellar}}'', both about space missions that encounter a black hole. {{w|Journey to the Center of the Earth}} is a classic novel by {{w|Jules Verne}} (and made into {{w|Journey to the Center of the Earth (1959 film)|various}} {{w|Journey to the Center of the Earth (2008 theatrical film)|films}}) which involves going into a volcano tube (a kind of hole). H. P. Lovecraft's 1921 short story ''{{w|The Nameless City}}'' involves the explorer narrator venturing into an ancient tunnel (entered through a hole) dug by a pre-human civilization under the Arabian peninsula, and ''{{w|At the Mountains of Madness}}'' involves tunnels lost in the continent of Antarctica. 
|-
! scope="row" | Fatal to get a big one in your body
| Yes
| Yes
| If a black hole appeared inside of a person's body, they would almost definitely die instantly.{{citation needed}} The same goes for a regular hole - if you cut out a massive section of a human's body, they would likely bleed out. This also applies for the holes left by bullets and other high-speed projectiles.
|-
! scope="row" | Some of them are the mouths of wormholes
| Maybe
| Yes
| Black holes are commonly portrayed to be the entrances of {{w|wormhole}}s, especially in sci-fi stories. While wormholes remain purely theoretical, if they exist, some common models for them suggest one end would appear as a black hole, drawing matter in to be ejected from a 'white hole' elsewhere. On the other side, many species of worms live in shallow holes, with a "mouth" on the surface - the "mouth" of the "worm hole". This could also be a reference to Star Wars Episode V: The Empire Strikes Back, when the Millennium Falcon spacecraft almost gets swallowed by a giant worm in an asteroid hole.
|-
! scope="row" | Stephen Hawking and Kip Thorne argued that any information that falls into them is lost forever
| Yes
| No
| The {{w|Black hole information paradox}} is a paradox arising from a contradiction between two widely-accepted theories related to black holes. Scientist {{w|Stephen Hawking}}, famous for his research into black holes, said that black holes release their energy over time, eventually disappearing, through {{w|Hawking Radiation}}. According to this theory, if information was also to enter the black hole, it would be released alongside this radiation. On the other hand, the {{w|No-hair theorem}} (which was also explored in What If? 2 in Chapter 1: Soupiter), states that all black holes are completely identical outside of three key features: mass, spin, and electric charge. If information that fell into a black hole is released with Hawking radiation, then that means that there ''must'' be more than three properties of black holes. Issues also arise when considering the destruction of this information, which, according to the fundamental rules of physics, is impossible. The issue is that if black holes can only retain three features, with composition not being one of said features, then this rule would be violated, thus requiring a complete rethinking of the fundamental laws of the universe. Hawking and {{w|Kip Thorne}} famously made a {{w|Thorne–Hawking–Preskill bet|bet}} with {{w|John Preskill}} over this paradox.
On the other hand, information that falls into a normal hole is not lost forever, and can likely still be reobtained, especially if the information is stored physically. The science of recovering information from regular holes is called {{w|archaeology}}.
|-
! scope="row" | Commonly inhabited by meerkats
| Undetermined
| Yes
|{{w|Meerkat}}s commonly live in holes underground. It is highly unlikely that Earth mammals live in black holes, but because it is impossible to know what lies beyond the event horizon it is [[technically]] impossible to falsify the postulate that there are meerkats there.
|-
! scope="row" | (title text) Created by the collapse of
| Massive stars
| Florida limestone bedrock
| As mentioned before, Black holes are often created by the collapse of massive stars. On the other hand, many {{w|sinkhole}}s in Florida are caused due to most {{w|bedrock}} in the state being made of {{w|limestone}}, which is very slightly soluble in water (although that still makes it drastically more soluble than most rocks). When rainwater and groundwater come into contact with this bedrock, it begins to dissolve it, leaving cavities. Eventually, this can dissolve the bedrock so thin that the weight of the ground above it causes the bedrock to collapse. Sinkholes from dissolved limestone are generally entrances to [https://caves.org/ caves] that explore further limestone dissolving from underground waterways. Florida is known for its warm underwater caves [https://www.smithsonianmag.com/science-nature/science-behind-floridas-sinkhole-epidemic-180969158/ and opening sinkholes].
|}

==Transcript==
:[A table comparing two main columns of relevence to various statements]
:[First column is headed:] Black Hole
:[Second column is headed:] Regular Hole
:[Respective statements cells placed to the left of both, below]

:[Statement:] Usually formed by...
:[Black hole:] Supernovas, colliding stars
:[Regular hole:] Shovels, small mammals

:[Statement:] Falling in is...
:[Black hole:] Definitely fatal
:[Regular hole:] Sometimes fatal

:[Statement:] Created by the Big Bang
:[Black hole:] Maybe
:[Regular hole:] No

:[Statement:] Created by children playing at the beach
:[Black hole:] I really hope not [with emphasis on "really"]
:[Regular hole:] Yes

:[Statement:] Source of many precious metals
:[Black hole:] Indirectly
:[Regular hole:] Yes

:[Statement:] Einstein imagined falling into one
:[Black hole:] Yes
:[Regular hole:] Probably at least once

:[Statement:] A component of dark matter
:[Black hole:] Maybe
:[Regular hole:] Probably not

:[Statement:] Created by the Large Hadron Collider
:[Black hole:] No
:[Regular hole:] Yes

:[Statement:] Massive stars often collapse into them
:[Black hole:] Yes
:[Regular hole:] No

:[Statement:] Explored by humans in famous sci-fi stories
:[Black hole:] Yes
:[Regular hole:] Yes

:[Statement:] Fatal to get a big one in your body
:[Black hole:] Yes
:[Regular hole:] Yes

:[Statement:] Some of them are the mouths of wormholes
:[Black hole:] Maybe
:[Regular hole:] Yes

:[Statement:] Stephen Hawking and Kip Thorne argued that any information that falls into them is lost forever
:[Black hole:] Yes
:[Regular hole:] No

:[Statement:] Commonly inhabited by meerkats
:[Black hole:] Undetermined
:[Regular hole:] Yes

{{comic discussion}}
[[Category:Astronomy]]
[[Category:Space]]
[[Category:Cosmology]]
[[Category:Animals]]
[[Category:Comics featuring real people]]

2814: Perseids Pronunciation

2023-09-04T19:37:05Z

Take The A Train To Watertown: mention american english perspective

{{comic
| number = 2814
| date = August 11, 2023
| title = Perseids Pronunciation
| image = perseids_pronunciation_2x.png
| imagesize = 291x414px
| noexpand = true
| titletext = When speaking out loud, you can can [sic] call it the 'Perseids meatier shower' and no one will ever know. (If you do get caught somehow, just tell them to Google the 'Kentucky meat shower' and that will distract them while you escape.)
}}

==Explanation==
{{incomplete|Created by the per-se-DEIS meteor shower - Please change this comment when editing this page. Do NOT delete this tag too soon.}}

This comic references the {{w|Perseids meteor shower}}, which is active in July and August. Their name ultimately derives from the ancient Greek hero ''Perseus'' (for ''his'' pronounciaton, check {{w|Perseus}}). There are various ways of pronouncing ''Perseids'', and [[Randall]] gives the obvious ones before the comic spirals into virtual nonsense, or possibly parodies of {{wiktionary|va-jay-jay|common euphemistic replacement words}}. This is written from an American English perspective.

It should be noted that the last consonant is often pronounced as a "z" sound rather than "s" (the technical term is "voiced"), which is not reflected in these spellings.

{| class="wikitable"
! scope="col"| Section
! scope="col"| Term
! scope="col"| Explanation

|-
! rowspan="2"| Generally accepted
| PER-see-ids
| Standard 3-syllable English pronunciation.
|-
| PURSE-yids
| Standard 2.5 syllable pronunciation, nearly indistinguishable from the previous.
|-
! rowspan="2"| Also heard sometimes
| Per-SEE-ids
| The emPHAsis on the seCOND sylLAble is nonstandard.
|-
| Per-SAY-ids
| Accepted British pronunciation of Perseids with "classical" pronunciation of the "ei" digraph.
|-
! rowspan="3"| Generally frowned on
| Per-SIDES
| Two syllables with a Germanic pronunciation of the "ei" digraph.
|-
| Per-ZAY-uds
| Voiced "S" phoneme. Could be acceptable in New Zealand.
|-
| PER-suds
| Two syllables, ignoring the digraph altogether and making it schwa.
|-
!rowspan="9"| Definitely wrong
| Perky-ids
| Backformed from the C=S equivalence but from the wrong kide.
|-
| Pewpewpews
| An onomatopoeia for [[2817: Electron Holes|electron hole guns]] and fictional laser guns.
|-
| Per-say-says
| This is a tradition of rhyming lazy/cute slang, like referring to the vagina as {{wiktionary|va-jay-jay}}.
|-
| Percies
| "Percies" is plural of Percy, the short form of Perseus, and could easily be an abbreviated/informal form of "Perseids", especially when spoken.
|-
| Purps
| "Purps" is close to "Perps", a short slang form of Perpetrator (generally the person responsible for a crime). Conceivably an evolution of pronunciation from re-extending the even more abbreviated "Pers" with a new plosive ending re-added.
|-
| Percies Purps
| Together, this would be a name of a criminal gang, led by Perseus or Perseid.
|- 
| Pepsids
| "Pepsids" could refer to {{w|Famotidine|Pepcid}} (an antacid), or it could also be referencing the {{w|Pepsi}} brand, through insertion of a single plosive 'p' in the loosely pronounced original word.
|-
| Peeps
| "Peeps", derived vocally similarly to "purps", are possibly shorebirds that are not always easy to identify (for example the {{w|Least Sandpiper}}), also known as "{{w|stints}}". Or, continuing the bird theme, could directly reference {{w|Peeps|a spongy candy}} which is shaped and decorated like baby chickens. It is also a common slang term for "people"; particularly an in-group that the speaker identifies with, as in "my peeps".
|-
| Pepsids Peeps
| Together, these would be people who bond over their reliance on Pepcid (and their interest in the Perseids, hence spelling it with an S)
|}

The title text mentions how "meteor" sounds like "meatier," {{w|Homophone|although the meanings are completely different}}. It suggests telling people about the {{w|Kentucky meat shower}}, an anomalous weather event in 1876, as a [[2467: Wikipedia Caltrops|way to distract]] them. It also has the word "can" twice.

==Transcript==
{{incomplete transcript|Do NOT delete this tag too soon.}}

:How to pronounce the name of the Perseids meteor shower

:Generally accepted
::PER-see-ids
::PURSE-yids

:Also heard sometimes
::Per-SEE-ids
::Per-SAY-ids

:Generally frowned on
::Per-SIDES
::Per-ZAY-uds
::PER-suds

:''Definitely'' wrong
::Perky-ids
::Pewpewpews
::Per-say-says
::Percies Purps
::Pepsids Peeps

{{comic discussion}}

[[Category:Language]]
[[Category:Astronomy]]

2820: Inspiration

2023-08-26T16:43:50Z

Take The A Train To Watertown: The Red Delicious is Randall's least favorite

{{comic
| number = 2820
| date = August 25, 2023
| title = Inspiration
| image = inspiration_2x.png
| imagesize = 515x163px
| noexpand = true
| titletext = An apple fell on Isaac Newton's head and gave him the idea that the moon might be a tasty apple, though this turned out not to be true--the Apollo program eventually determined that it was just a desolate and bland Red Delicious.
}}

==Explanation==
{{incomplete|Created by a HELIOCENTRIC RED DELICIOUS APPLE - Please change this comment when editing this page. Do NOT delete this tag too soon.}}

The apple falling on Cueball's head is a reference to the folk tale that an apple falling on Isaac Newton's head was what inspired him to develop his theory of gravity (he was inspired by the fall of an apple, but it didn't fall on his head). The key breakthrough Newton had was the insight that the force which causes objects to fall to the Earth is the same force that causes the moon to orbit the earth; this and the title of the comic sets the reader up to expect Cueball's statement to be related to gravity. Instead he makes a different connection between apples and the moon, that of starting an apple farm on the moon.

Furthermore, the title text claims that Newton thought that the moon was in fact a tasty apple, but the Apollo program proves it was a Red Delicious apple. This is a jab at Randall's least favorite type of apple, as has been [[388|previously]] [[1766|noted]]. The red delicious apple became the most popular variety in the USA after its introduction. To satisfy market demand, growers began selecting for storage and cosmetic appeal over flavor and palatability. Popularity has declined significantly in recent decades.

==Transcript==
{{incomplete transcript|Do NOT delete this tag too soon.}}
:[Cueball sits under a tree. An apple falls from the tree and hits him on the head.]
:Bonk

:[The view zooms out, showing the moon, which Cueball looks up at.]

:[Closeup on Cueball.]
:Cueball: ...

:Cueball: ''We should grow apples on the moon.''

{{comic discussion}}

[[Category:Comics featuring Cueball]]
[[Category:Comics featuring real people]]
[[Category:Astronomy]]
[[Category:Physics]]

2819: Pronunciation

2023-08-23T22:16:47Z

Take The A Train To Watertown: expand some.definitions

{{comic
| number = 2819
| date = August 23, 2023
| title = Pronunciation
| image = pronunciation_2x.png
| imagesize = 315x257px
| noexpand = true
| titletext = I pronounce the 'u' in 'pronunciation' like in 'putting' but the 'ou' in 'pronounce' like in 'wound'.
}}

==Explanation==
{{incomplete|Created by a TOMATO BOTATO - Please change this comment when editing this page. Do NOT delete this tag too soon.}}

The comic purports to show how to pronounce the word "Tuesday". However, it does so through the use of ambiguous comparison pronunciations as a guide. Often these guides are used to tell people how something is pronounced without resorting to the IPA, which most are unfamiliar with, but ''these'' guides often have issues with multiple accents, or in this case, heterophonic words that can be pronounced in multiple ways.

(Note: General American pronunciations are primarily assumed here)

{| class="wikitable"
! Guide !! Correct !! Other !! Notes
|-
| Buffe'''t'''
| /ˈbʌf.ɪ'''t'''/ (verb: strike)
| /ˈbʌ.feɪ/ (noun: self-serve diner)
|
|-
| Min'''u'''te
| /maɪˈn'''(j)uː'''t/ (adjective: small)
| /ˈmɪn'''ɪ'''t/ (noun: unit of time)
|
|-
| R'''e'''cord
|
| /ɹ'''ɪ'''ˈkɔɹd/ (verb: write down/make permanent)<br />/ˈɹ'''ɛ'''k.ɚd/ or /ˈɹ'''ɛ'''k.ɔɹd/ (noun: thing containing information)
| Neither is actually the correct e, the correct e would be silent.
|-
| U'''s'''e
| /juː'''z'''/ (verb: to employ a thing for a particular end)
| /juː'''s'''/ (noun: the action of employing that thing)
|
|-
| Mope'''d'''
| /ˈmoʊ.pɛ'''d'''/ (noun: motor scooter with an engine smaller than 50cc)
| /moʊp'''t'''/ (adjective: dejected)
|
|-
| B'''a'''ss
| /b'''eɪ'''s/ (noun: low-pitched notes and the instruments that play them
)
| /b'''æ'''s/ (noun: fish)
| /æ/ is also correct in New Zealand English.
|-
| G'''y'''ro
| /ˈj'''iː'''.ɹoʊ/, /ˈj'''ɪ'''ɹoʊ/ or /ˈʒ'''ɪ'''ɹoʊ/ (noun: Greek sandwich with meat cooked on a vertical rotisserie)
| /ˈd͡ʒ'''aɪ'''.ɹoʊ/ (noun: gyroscope)
| The sandwich can also be pronounced like the gyroscope.
|}

Following this guide, a pronunciation of Tuesday as /ɪɛstæaɪ/ is possible.

The title text references how some people pronounce the word "pron'''u'''nciation" like "pron'''ou'''nce" (with /aʊ/) and others use a different vowel (/ʌ/). Here Randall is saying that he pronounces them with the 'u' from "putting" and the 'ou' from "wound". If we take putting to mean /ˈpʌtɪŋ/ (golf) and wound as /waʊnd/ (coiled), this could mean he pronounces them using the commonly differing pronunciations. However those two words could also be pronounced /ˈpʊtɪŋ/ (placing) and /wund/ (injury), indicating a very non-standard way of saying each word.

==Transcript==
{{incomplete transcript|Do NOT delete this tag too soon.}}
:[The word "Tuesday", with each letter labeled by a box with an arrow:]
:T: As in buffe'''t'''
:u: As in min'''u'''te
:e: As in r'''e'''cord
:s: As in u'''s'''e
:d: As in mope'''d'''
:a: As in b'''a'''ss
:y: As in g'''y'''ro

:[Caption below the panel:]
:Pet peeve: Ambiguous pronunciation guides

{{comic discussion}}

[[Category:Language]]
[[Category:Pet Peeves]]

2818: Circuit Symbols

2023-08-22T15:21:50Z

Take The A Train To Watertown: A switch is the same as a drawbridge

{{comic
| number = 2818
| date = August 21, 2023
| title = Circuit Symbols
| image = circuit_symbols_2x.png
| imagesize = 438x362px
| noexpand = true
| titletext = A circle with an A in it means that the circuit has committed a sin and has been marked as punishment.
}}

==Explanation==
{{incomplete|Do NOT delete this tag too soon.}}
This comic contains several symbols used in circuit diagrams. Each is labeled with a larger object that the symbol looks like a drawing of, rather than the electrical component it actually represents.
Also included are the real symbol for a battery and two modifications of that symbol with corresponding modification of the ''word'' "battery".
{| class="wikitable"
! Symbol !! Randall's Description !! Explanation
|-
| Switch
| Drawbridge
| The symbol represents a physical on/off switch in a circuit, but also resembles a drawbridge. A switch functions the exact same as a drawbridge, impeding electrons' flow when it is open.
|-
| Capacitor
| Overpass
| A capacitor is a component that can be used to hold electric charge, but also looks a bit like a map depiction for a highway {{w|overpass}} of a main road passing over a more minor track. This may actually be refered to more as an {{w|Tunnel#Underpass|underpass}}, from the perspective of the lesser route, being not usually as obvious a feature when using the upper highway.
|-
| Ground
| Pogo Stick
| This symbol represents a connection to "ground" (aka earth for folks in the UK). If you squint, it also looks like a pogo stick.
|-
| Resistor (ANSI)
| Earthquake
| A resistor is a component that reduces current flow in a circuit. If also looks like the signs an earthquake makes on a seismogram and/or the 'rucks' of the ground (especially asphalt roads) that might result from underlying techtonic movements.

|-
| Inductor
| Sheep
| Inductors create a magnetic field when the current changes, with an effect complementary to that of capacitors. They generally consist of a coil of wire, which is what the symbol depicts. This symbol can also look like fluffy curls of wool.
|-
| Transformer
| Two sheep in love, trapped on opposite side of a fence.
| A transformer consists of two inductors (the input and output coils), whose curly loop symbols Randal has already claimed resemble sheep. And the straight line (which represents the core) between two sheep is a fence.
|-
| Battery
| Battery
| Not a joke, that's the symbol for a battery.
|-
| Battery (sorted)
| Baertty
| Randall seems to be mapping "tt" to the first short line and 'er' to the second long line in the symbol, having had 'ba' and 'y' assisnged to the long and short 'T' shape, and asserting that if you sort them long-long-short-short, you need to put "er" in front of "tt".
|-
| Battery, with far too many short lines
| Battttttttttttery
| Or, you know, you could just throw in six "tt"s.
|-
| Photodiode
| Check out this really cool diode
| A photodiode generates current in response to light (the arrows pointing at it.) Randall is instead pretending that the arrows are pointing at it to draw attention to it because it's really cool.
|-
| Oscillator
| Wave Pool
| An oscillator generates signals that oscillate at a given frequencies. Waves in water are a type of oscillation that may be more familiar to most people than waves of electricity. A wave pool, it could be argued, is in fact a type of oscillator.
|-
| Transistor
| Trolley Problem
| A transistor will switch on a current flow depending on the input from a input signal. Thus, it switches electricity in the same way that the {{w|trolley problem}} switches the trolley track. The symbol also somewhat resembles the usual pictorial depiction of the problem.
|-
| Circle with an A in it (Title text)
| Committed a sin and marked as punishment
| Circles with letters are usually some special component. In this case the "A" stands for ammeter, a device used to measure current. In Nathaniel Hawthorne's novel ''The Scarlet Letter'', the heroine must wear an ''A'' to mark her as an adulteress.
|}

==Transcript==
{{incomplete transcript|Do NOT delete this tag too soon.}}

[A chart of various circuit symbols and their (mostly) fictitious meanings based off of their drawings, captioned:] Circuit Symbols

[The symbol for a switch, labelled:] Drawbridge

[The symbol for a capacitor, labelled:] Overpass

[The symbol for a connection to ground, labelled:] Pogo Stick

[The symbol for a resistor, labelled:] Earthquake

[The symbol for an inductor, labelled:] Sheep

[The symbol for a transformer, labelled:] Two Sheep in Love, Trapped on Opposite Sides of a Fence

[The symbol for a battery, labelled:] Battery

[The symbol for a battery, sorted, labelled:] Baertty

[The symbol for a battery, with far too many short lines, labelled:] Battttttttttttery

[The symbol for a photodiode, labelled:] Check Out This Really Cool Diode

[The symbol for an oscillator, labelled:] Wave Pool

[The symbol for a transistor, labelled:] Trolley Problem

{{comic discussion}}
[[Category:Engineering]]
[[Category:Charts]]

2814: Perseids Pronunciation

2023-08-18T20:01:46Z

Take The A Train To Watertown:

{{comic
| number = 2814
| date = August 11, 2023
| title = Perseids Pronunciation
| image = perseids_pronunciation_2x.png
| imagesize = 291x414px
| noexpand = true
| titletext = When speaking out loud, you can can [sic] call it the 'Perseids meatier shower' and no one will ever know. (If you do get caught somehow, just tell them to Google the 'Kentucky meat shower' and that will distract them while you escape.)
}}

==Explanation==
{{incomplete|Created by the per-se-DEIS meteor shower - Please change this comment when editing this page. Do NOT delete this tag too soon.}}

This comic references the {{w|Perseids meteor shower}}, which is active in July and August. Their name ultimately derives from the ancient Greek hero ''Perseus'' (for ''his'' pronounciaton, check {{w|Perseus}}). There are various ways of pronouncing ''Perseids'', and [[Randall]] gives the obvious ones before the comic spirals into virtual nonsense, or possibly parodies of {{wiktionary|va-jay-jay|common euphemistic replacement words}}.

It should be noted that the last consonant is often pronounced as a "z" sound rather than "s" (the technical term is "voiced"), which is not reflected in these spellings.

{| class="wikitable"
! scope="col"| Section
! scope="col"| Term
! scope="col"| Explanation

|-
! rowspan="2"| Generally accepted
| PER-see-ids
| Standard 3-syllable English pronunciation.
|-
| PURSE-yids
| Standard-ish 2.5 syllable pronunciation.
|-
! rowspan="2"| Also heard sometimes
| Per-SEE-ids
| The emPHAsis on the middle sylLAble is nonstandard.
|-
| Per-SAY-ids
| Accepted British pronunciation of Perseids with "classical" pronunciation of the "ei" digraph.
|-
! rowspan="3"| Generally frowned on
| Per-SIDES
| Germanic pronunciation of the "ei" digraph.
|-
| Per-ZAY-uds
| Could be acceptable in New Zealand.
|-
| PER-suds
| Ignoring the digraph altogether and making it schwa.
|-
!rowspan="7"| Definitely wrong
| Perky-ids
| Backformed from the C=S equivalence but from the wrong kide.
|-
| Pewpewpews
| An onomatopoeia for fictional laser guns, possibly for the resemblance of the flashes of light both laser guns and meteors make in the sky. In real life, neither lasers nor meteors make much sound at all.
|-
| Per-say-says
| This is a tradition of rhyming lazy/cute slang, like referring to the vagina as {{wiktionary|va-jay-jay}}.
|-
| Percies
| Spaced out to indicate that each word in the row is a separate entry. "Percies" is plural of Percy, the short form of Perseus.
|-
| Purps
| Purps is close to Perps, a short slang form of Perpetrator (generally the person responsible for a crime).
|-
| Pepsids
| "Pepsids" seems to refer to Pepcid, an antacid, but misspelled to match the original word. It could also be referencing {{w|Pepsi}}.
|-
| Peeps
| "Peeps" are shorebirds that are impossible to identify (for example, {{w|Least Sandpiper}}). See {{w|stints}}. But more likely either a reference to the Peep, a spongy candy which is shaped and decorated like baby chickens, or the slang for "people", particularly a group that the speaker identifies with, "my peeps".
|}

The title text mentions how "meteor" sounds like "meatier," {{w|Homophone|although the meanings are completely different}}. It suggests telling people about the {{w|Kentucky meat shower}}, an anomalous weather event in 1876, as a [[2467: Wikipedia Caltrops|way to distract]] them. It also has the word "can" twice.

==Transcript==
{{incomplete transcript|Do NOT delete this tag too soon.}}

:How to pronounce the name of the Perseids meteor shower

:Generally accepted
::PER-see-ids
::PURSE-yids

:Also heard sometimes
::Per-SEE-ids
::Per-SAY-ids

:Generally frowned on
::Per-SIDES
::Per-ZAY-uds
::PER-suds

:''Definitely'' wrong
::Perky-ids
::Pewpewpews
::Per-say-says
::Percies Purps
::Pepsids Peeps

{{comic discussion}}

[[Category:Language]]
[[Category:Astronomy]]

2814: Perseids Pronunciation

2023-08-18T19:59:05Z

Take The A Train To Watertown: And Percies

{{comic
| number = 2814
| date = August 11, 2023
| title = Perseids Pronunciation
| image = perseids_pronunciation_2x.png
| imagesize = 291x414px
| noexpand = true
| titletext = When speaking out loud, you can can [sic] call it the 'Perseids meatier shower' and no one will ever know. (If you do get caught somehow, just tell them to Google the 'Kentucky meat shower' and that will distract them while you escape.)
}}

==Explanation==
{{incomplete|Created by the per-se-DEIS meteor shower - Please change this comment when editing this page. Do NOT delete this tag too soon.}}

This comic references the {{w|Perseids meteor shower}}, which is active in July and August. Their name ultimately derives from the ancient Greek hero ''Perseus'' (for ''his'' pronounciaton, check {{w|Perseus}}). There are various ways of pronouncing ''Perseids'', and [[Randall]] gives the obvious ones before the comic spirals into virtual nonsense, or possibly parodies of {{wiktionary|va-jay-jay|common euphemistic replacement words}}.

It should be noted that the last consonant is often pronounced as a "z" sound rather than "s" (the technical term is "voiced"), which is not reflected in these spellings.

{| class="wikitable"
! scope="col"| Section
! scope="col"| Term
! scope="col"| Explanation

|-
! rowspan="2"| Generally accepted
| PER-see-ids
| Standard 3-syllable English pronunciation.
|-
| PURSE-yids
| Standard-ish 2.5 syllable pronunciation.
|-
! rowspan="2"| Also heard sometimes
| Per-SEE-ids
| The emPHAsis on the middle sylLAble is nonstandard.
|-
| Per-SAY-ids
| Certainly one pronunciation of the "ei" digraph, might even be "classical". However, it's wrong.
|-
! rowspan="3"| Generally frowned on
| Per-SIDES
| Germanic pronunciation of the "ei" digraph.
|-
| Per-ZAY-uds
| Could be acceptable in New Zealand.
|-
| PER-suds
| Ignoring the digraph altogether and making it schwa.
|-
!rowspan="7"| Definitely wrong
| Perky-ids
| Backformed from the C=S equivalence but from the wrong kide.
|-
| Pewpewpews
| An onomatopoeia for fictional laser guns, possibly for the resemblance of the flashes of light both laser guns and meteors make in the sky. In real life, neither lasers nor meteors make much sound at all.
|-
| Per-say-says
| This is a tradition of rhyming lazy/cute slang, like referring to the vagina as {{wiktionary|va-jay-jay}}.
|-
| Percies
| Spaced out to indicate that each word in the row is a separate entry. "Percies" is plural of Percy, the short form of Perseus.
|-
| Purps
| Purps is close to Perps, a short slang form of Perpetrator (generally the person responsible for a crime).
|-
| Pepsids
| "Pepsids" seems to refer to Pepcid, an antacid, but misspelled to match the original word. It could also be referencing {{w|Pepsi}}.
|-
| Peeps
| "Peeps" are shorebirds that are impossible to identify (for example, {{w|Least Sandpiper}}). See {{w|stints}}. But more likely either a reference to the Peep, a spongy candy which is shaped and decorated like baby chickens, or the slang for "people", particularly a group that the speaker identifies with, "my peeps".
|}

The title text mentions how "meteor" sounds like "meatier," {{w|Homophone|although the meanings are completely different}}. It suggests telling people about the {{w|Kentucky meat shower}}, an anomalous weather event in 1876, as a [[2467: Wikipedia Caltrops|way to distract]] them. It also has the word "can" twice.

==Transcript==
{{incomplete transcript|Do NOT delete this tag too soon.}}

:How to pronounce the name of the Perseids meteor shower

:Generally accepted
::PER-see-ids
::PURSE-yids

:Also heard sometimes
::Per-SEE-ids
::Per-SAY-ids

:Generally frowned on
::Per-SIDES
::Per-ZAY-uds
::PER-suds

:''Definitely'' wrong
::Perky-ids
::Pewpewpews
::Per-say-says
::Percies Purps
::Pepsids Peeps

{{comic discussion}}

[[Category:Language]]
[[Category:Astronomy]]

2814: Perseids Pronunciation

2023-08-18T19:56:28Z

Take The A Train To Watertown: Rewrote the explanations based on the talkpage because whoever wrote it got a lot wrong

{{comic
| number = 2814
| date = August 11, 2023
| title = Perseids Pronunciation
| image = perseids_pronunciation_2x.png
| imagesize = 291x414px
| noexpand = true
| titletext = When speaking out loud, you can can [sic] call it the 'Perseids meatier shower' and no one will ever know. (If you do get caught somehow, just tell them to Google the 'Kentucky meat shower' and that will distract them while you escape.)
}}

==Explanation==
{{incomplete|Created by the per-se-DEIS meteor shower - Please change this comment when editing this page. Do NOT delete this tag too soon.}}

This comic references the {{w|Perseids meteor shower}}, which is active in July and August. Their name ultimately derives from the ancient Greek hero ''Perseus'' (for ''his'' pronounciaton, check {{w|Perseus}}). There are various ways of pronouncing ''Perseids'', and [[Randall]] gives the obvious ones before the comic spirals into virtual nonsense, or possibly parodies of {{wiktionary|va-jay-jay|common euphemistic replacement words}}.

It should be noted that the last consonant is often pronounced as a "z" sound rather than "s" (the technical term is "voiced"), which is not reflected in these spellings.

{| class="wikitable"
! scope="col"| Section
! scope="col"| Term
! scope="col"| Explanation

|-
! rowspan="2"| Generally accepted
| PER-see-ids
| Standard 3-syllable English pronunciation.
|-
| PURSE-yids
| Standard-ish 2.5 syllable pronunciation.
|-
! rowspan="2"| Also heard sometimes
| Per-SEE-ids
| The emPHAsis on the middle sylLAble is nonstandard.
|-
| Per-SAY-ids
| Certainly one pronunciation of the "ei" digraph, might even be "classical". However, it's wrong.
|-
! rowspan="3"| Generally frowned on
| Per-SIDES
| Germanic pronunciation of the "ei" digraph.
|-
| Per-ZAY-uds
| Could be acceptable in New Zealand.
|-
| PER-suds
| Ignoring the digraph altogether and making it schwa.
|-
!rowspan="7"| Definitely wrong
| Perky-ids
| Backformed from the C=S equivalence but from the wrong kide.
|-
| Pewpewpews
| An onomatopoeia for fictional laser guns, possibly for the resemblance of the flashes of light both laser guns and meteors make in the sky. In real life, neither lasers nor meteors make much sound at all.
|-
| Per-say-says
| This is a tradition of rhyming lazy/cute slang, like referring to the vagina as {{wiktionary|va-jay-jay}}.
|-
| Percies
| Spaced out to indicate that each word in the row is a separate entry. "Percies" seems akin to nicknaming each meteor "Percy" and referring to all of them as a group.
|-
| Purps
| Purps is close to Perps, a short slang form of Perpetrator (generally the person responsible for a crime).
|-
| Pepsids
| "Pepsids" seems to refer to Pepcid, an antacid, but misspelled to match the original word. It could also be referencing {{w|Pepsi}}.
|-
| Peeps
| "Peeps" are shorebirds that are impossible to identify (for example, {{w|Least Sandpiper}}). See {{w|stints}}. But more likely either a reference to the Peep, a spongy candy which is shaped and decorated like baby chickens, or the slang for "people", particularly a group that the speaker identifies with, "my peeps".
|}

The title text mentions how "meteor" sounds like "meatier," {{w|Homophone|although the meanings are completely different}}. It suggests telling people about the {{w|Kentucky meat shower}}, an anomalous weather event in 1876, as a [[2467: Wikipedia Caltrops|way to distract]] them. It also has the word "can" twice.

==Transcript==
{{incomplete transcript|Do NOT delete this tag too soon.}}

:How to pronounce the name of the Perseids meteor shower

:Generally accepted
::PER-see-ids
::PURSE-yids

:Also heard sometimes
::Per-SEE-ids
::Per-SAY-ids

:Generally frowned on
::Per-SIDES
::Per-ZAY-uds
::PER-suds

:''Definitely'' wrong
::Perky-ids
::Pewpewpews
::Per-say-says
::Percies Purps
::Pepsids Peeps

{{comic discussion}}

[[Category:Language]]
[[Category:Astronomy]]

Talk:2809: Moon

2023-08-02T12:26:43Z

Take The A Train To Watertown:

Happy birthday to me. This comic is a good birthday present, so I'm gonna try to add some stuff to the explanation now. [[User:R3TRI8UTI0N|R3TRI8UTI0N]] ([[User talk:R3TRI8UTI0N|talk]]) 02:11, 1 August 2023 (UTC)

Okay, added a Trivia section and a lot of stuff to the explanation. Request someone help add more information about lunar cycles and some wikipedia links. [[User:R3TRI8UTI0N|R3TRI8UTI0N]] ([[User talk:R3TRI8UTI0N|talk]]) 02:35, 1 August 2023 (UTC)
:Ah, well, I added more (sufficient? ...haven't wikilinked yet) info about the illumination/tide cycles. i.e. about half the time (at least) half reilluminating areas on the night side of Earth + roughly twice a day dragging/flinging the tides 'upwards' (modifying the Sun's own twice-daily effects).
:Had to heavily qualify the secondary Trivia point, for caveats. I mean selenically-specific names aren't rare, when refering to orb sometimes known as Phoebe/Cynthia, until you become more precise about "common English use". Didn't say anything about (the) Earth, but did mention the Sun(/suns in general) in the edit comment. Interesting point to make, but not so much unusual as stemming from long time (way into prehistory!) custom so really being the heavily weighted precedent. [[Special:Contributions/172.70.90.187|172.70.90.187]] 05:21, 1 August 2023 (UTC)
::...what? I don't understand. [[User:R3TRI8UTI0N|R3TRI8UTI0N]] ([[User talk:R3TRI8UTI0N|talk]]) 05:32, 2 August 2023 (UTC)
:::''"it can also be described by other titles such as "Luna" (directly taken from from Latin mythology/astronomy)."'' It's not true that "the Moon doesn't have a name". It is ''the'' Moon (unlike other moons), plus all kinds of other names (historical, other culture and/or other language; such as Chandra/Igaluk/Chang'e). But it is interesting to note that, until we were able to imagine (and/or see) moons orbiting other things up in the sky, there was ''just'' its proper name. Whatever it might be. Only after we anticipated the existence of satellites of other planets (and, perhaps, other satellites of our own planet), having first recognised what other planets actually were (distinct from stars, with those being other suns than ''our'' Sun/Sol/Ra/...) was it meaningful that the name(s) we did use for it might be re-used to describe the class of things that were like it. But they then really needed their own fresh names/catalogue numbers. [[Special:Contributions/172.71.242.15|172.71.242.15]] 10:11, 2 August 2023 (UTC)
:Reminds me of that conversation from Dragonheart (paraphrized as I only watched the German dub): "So instead of calling me 'dragon" in your language you call me 'dragon' in another language... I think I like it" [[User:Elektrizikekswerk|Elektrizikekswerk]] ([[User talk:Elektrizikekswerk|talk]]) 07:16, 1 August 2023 (UTC)

If there was no Moon, would an Earth astronomer that discovered moons around one of the other planets be considered a loony? [[User:These Are Not The Comments You Are Looking For|These Are Not The Comments You Are Looking For]] ([[User talk:These Are Not The Comments You Are Looking For|talk]]) 02:40, 1 August 2023 (UTC)
:If there was no moon, it's quite possible there would be no intelligent life on Earth. Also, when Galileo Galilei found Jupiter's moons, he was totally considered loony by some, while others said it's defect of the telescope. Remember that at that point of history, suggesting that if Earth has moon, other planets might have one too was something you could be burned on stake for. -- [[User:Hkmaly|Hkmaly]] ([[User talk:Hkmaly|talk]]) 03:13, 1 August 2023 (UTC)

:Definitely not. (I see what you did there.) --[[Special:Contributions/172.70.247.155|172.70.247.155]] 12:55, 1 August 2023 (UTC)

I doubt the title text is intended as a reference to that saying. [[Special:Contributions/172.69.247.51|172.69.247.51]] 04:17, 1 August 2023 (UTC)
:Yeah, I don't get how that is related either. The title text references that it is pretty, but the nmoves away from that. Not sure how that is related to a quote that doesn't even use the word "pretty". --[[User:Lupo|Lupo]] ([[User talk:Lupo|talk]]) 09:28, 1 August 2023 (UTC)
::I mean, the word "beautiful" and "pretty" have common meanings, so I thought about that connection, but if no one else made the connection, so be it. [[User:R3TRI8UTI0N|R3TRI8UTI0N]] ([[User talk:R3TRI8UTI0N|talk]]) 05:30, 2 August 2023 (UTC)
:::I think if that connection was meant to be invoked it would just say beautiful, or get more into detail of the way it is pretty/beautiful. However it was just used as a kind of connector to make the other mentioned aspects seem more minor. --[[User:Lupo|Lupo]] ([[User talk:Lupo|talk]]) 08:05, 2 August 2023 (UTC)

Like many things,{{Citation needed}} it has probably seemed usual whilst we only know our own example. Once we started to find other examples out there, we can discover the ways in which it's an outlier. (Martian: "Well of ''course'' there's those two small rock 'stars' visibly zipping around overhead, that's what the sky alsays looks like for me, and I imagine that it's much the same for anyone else..." Earthling/Venusian/Jovian/Tritonian/Plutoid: "...hold my beer!") [[Special:Contributions/141.101.99.133|141.101.99.133]] 07:26, 1 August 2023 (UTC)

I've been saying this about the Sun… A great fireball looming in the sky. It remotely powers life. (Even with 90% of that power lost at each trophic level!) It is worshipped as a god. It controls Earthlings' sense of time. When it leaves the sky at a regular interval, a wave of fear follows, and everything seeks shelter and goes dormant until its return. Oh, but it also burns and mutates the flesh of those who stand in its rays, to the point that it's ''dangerous to look at''. Sounds fake, right? And yet, there it is. <span style="background:#0064de;font-size:12px;padding:4px 12px;border-radius:8px;">[[User talk:AgentMuffin|<span style="color:#f0faff;">~AgentMuffin</span>]]</span> 08:00, 1 August 2023 (UTC)

I have a personal theory that the constant gravitational massage is responsible for sustaining the Earth's large magnetic field, thus preventing the solar wind making us like Venus or Mars, and probably keeping the tectonic plates on the move. (Oh and dogs domesticated themselves - just saying p.s. same for cats but only after we had barns). [[User:RIIW - Ponder it|RIIW - Ponder it]] ([[User talk:RIIW - Ponder it|talk]]) 09:38, 1 August 2023 (UTC)

I think we’re well past the point of “plans being made” of humans returning to the Moon. [[User:SilverTheTerribleMathematician|Silver]] ([[User talk:SilverTheTerribleMathematician|talk]]) 19:29, 1 August 2023 (UTC)
:You mean that we are currently building rockets and stuff to send people to the moon at this very moment? [[User:R3TRI8UTI0N|R3TRI8UTI0N]] ([[User talk:R3TRI8UTI0N|talk]]) 05:32, 2 August 2023 (UTC)
::We are. Which I hope you're aware of. But if you weren't... this your [[1053: Ten Thousand|lucky day]]! [[Special:Contributions/172.71.242.15|172.71.242.15]] 10:11, 2 August 2023 (UTC)

August 1, 2023 the moon is a "Super Moon" [[User:KingPenguin|KingPenguin]] ([[User talk:KingPenguin|talk]]) 22:13, 1 August 2023 (UTC)

We need to make a category for these things which would sound outlandish if they didn't exist. [[2115]] is the first one I think of, and I'm sure there's more. I propose we call it Category: Things That Seem Like They Shouldn't Work But Do in honor of [[2540]]. [[User:Take The A Train To Watertown|Take The A Train To Watertown]] ([[User talk:Take The A Train To Watertown|talk]]) 12:20, 2 August 2023 (UTC)

Talk:2809: Moon

2023-08-02T12:25:52Z

Take The A Train To Watertown:

Happy birthday to me. This comic is a good birthday present, so I'm gonna try to add some stuff to the explanation now. [[User:R3TRI8UTI0N|R3TRI8UTI0N]] ([[User talk:R3TRI8UTI0N|talk]]) 02:11, 1 August 2023 (UTC)

Okay, added a Trivia section and a lot of stuff to the explanation. Request someone help add more information about lunar cycles and some wikipedia links. [[User:R3TRI8UTI0N|R3TRI8UTI0N]] ([[User talk:R3TRI8UTI0N|talk]]) 02:35, 1 August 2023 (UTC)
:Ah, well, I added more (sufficient? ...haven't wikilinked yet) info about the illumination/tide cycles. i.e. about half the time (at least) half reilluminating areas on the night side of Earth + roughly twice a day dragging/flinging the tides 'upwards' (modifying the Sun's own twice-daily effects).
:Had to heavily qualify the secondary Trivia point, for caveats. I mean selenically-specific names aren't rare, when refering to orb sometimes known as Phoebe/Cynthia, until you become more precise about "common English use". Didn't say anything about (the) Earth, but did mention the Sun(/suns in general) in the edit comment. Interesting point to make, but not so much unusual as stemming from long time (way into prehistory!) custom so really being the heavily weighted precedent. [[Special:Contributions/172.70.90.187|172.70.90.187]] 05:21, 1 August 2023 (UTC)
::...what? I don't understand. [[User:R3TRI8UTI0N|R3TRI8UTI0N]] ([[User talk:R3TRI8UTI0N|talk]]) 05:32, 2 August 2023 (UTC)
:::''"it can also be described by other titles such as "Luna" (directly taken from from Latin mythology/astronomy)."'' It's not true that "the Moon doesn't have a name". It is ''the'' Moon (unlike other moons), plus all kinds of other names (historical, other culture and/or other language; such as Chandra/Igaluk/Chang'e). But it is interesting to note that, until we were able to imagine (and/or see) moons orbiting other things up in the sky, there was ''just'' its proper name. Whatever it might be. Only after we anticipated the existence of satellites of other planets (and, perhaps, other satellites of our own planet), having first recognised what other planets actually were (distinct from stars, with those being other suns than ''our'' Sun/Sol/Ra/...) was it meaningful that the name(s) we did use for it might be re-used to describe the class of things that were like it. But they then really needed their own fresh names/catalogue numbers. [[Special:Contributions/172.71.242.15|172.71.242.15]] 10:11, 2 August 2023 (UTC)
:Reminds me of that conversation from Dragonheart (paraphrized as I only watched the German dub): "So instead of calling me 'dragon" in your language you call me 'dragon' in another language... I think I like it" [[User:Elektrizikekswerk|Elektrizikekswerk]] ([[User talk:Elektrizikekswerk|talk]]) 07:16, 1 August 2023 (UTC)

If there was no Moon, would an Earth astronomer that discovered moons around one of the other planets be considered a loony? [[User:These Are Not The Comments You Are Looking For|These Are Not The Comments You Are Looking For]] ([[User talk:These Are Not The Comments You Are Looking For|talk]]) 02:40, 1 August 2023 (UTC)
:If there was no moon, it's quite possible there would be no intelligent life on Earth. Also, when Galileo Galilei found Jupiter's moons, he was totally considered loony by some, while others said it's defect of the telescope. Remember that at that point of history, suggesting that if Earth has moon, other planets might have one too was something you could be burned on stake for. -- [[User:Hkmaly|Hkmaly]] ([[User talk:Hkmaly|talk]]) 03:13, 1 August 2023 (UTC)

:Definitely not. (I see what you did there.) --[[Special:Contributions/172.70.247.155|172.70.247.155]] 12:55, 1 August 2023 (UTC)

I doubt the title text is intended as a reference to that saying. [[Special:Contributions/172.69.247.51|172.69.247.51]] 04:17, 1 August 2023 (UTC)
:Yeah, I don't get how that is related either. The title text references that it is pretty, but the nmoves away from that. Not sure how that is related to a quote that doesn't even use the word "pretty". --[[User:Lupo|Lupo]] ([[User talk:Lupo|talk]]) 09:28, 1 August 2023 (UTC)
::I mean, the word "beautiful" and "pretty" have common meanings, so I thought about that connection, but if no one else made the connection, so be it. [[User:R3TRI8UTI0N|R3TRI8UTI0N]] ([[User talk:R3TRI8UTI0N|talk]]) 05:30, 2 August 2023 (UTC)
:::I think if that connection was meant to be invoked it would just say beautiful, or get more into detail of the way it is pretty/beautiful. However it was just used as a kind of connector to make the other mentioned aspects seem more minor. --[[User:Lupo|Lupo]] ([[User talk:Lupo|talk]]) 08:05, 2 August 2023 (UTC)

Like many things,{{Citation needed}} it has probably seemed usual whilst we only know our own example. Once we started to find other examples out there, we can discover the ways in which it's an outlier. (Martian: "Well of ''course'' there's those two small rock 'stars' visibly zipping around overhead, that's what the sky alsays looks like for me, and I imagine that it's much the same for anyone else..." Earthling/Venusian/Jovian/Tritonian/Plutoid: "...hold my beer!") [[Special:Contributions/141.101.99.133|141.101.99.133]] 07:26, 1 August 2023 (UTC)

I've been saying this about the Sun… A great fireball looming in the sky. It remotely powers life. (Even with 90% of that power lost at each trophic level!) It is worshipped as a god. It controls Earthlings' sense of time. When it leaves the sky at a regular interval, a wave of fear follows, and everything seeks shelter and goes dormant until its return. Oh, but it also burns and mutates the flesh of those who stand in its rays, to the point that it's ''dangerous to look at''. Sounds fake, right? And yet, there it is. <span style="background:#0064de;font-size:12px;padding:4px 12px;border-radius:8px;">[[User talk:AgentMuffin|<span style="color:#f0faff;">~AgentMuffin</span>]]</span> 08:00, 1 August 2023 (UTC)

I have a personal theory that the constant gravitational massage is responsible for sustaining the Earth's large magnetic field, thus preventing the solar wind making us like Venus or Mars, and probably keeping the tectonic plates on the move. (Oh and dogs domesticated themselves - just saying p.s. same for cats but only after we had barns). [[User:RIIW - Ponder it|RIIW - Ponder it]] ([[User talk:RIIW - Ponder it|talk]]) 09:38, 1 August 2023 (UTC)

I think we’re well past the point of “plans being made” of humans returning to the Moon. [[User:SilverTheTerribleMathematician|Silver]] ([[User talk:SilverTheTerribleMathematician|talk]]) 19:29, 1 August 2023 (UTC)
:You mean that we are currently building rockets and stuff to send people to the moon at this very moment? [[User:R3TRI8UTI0N|R3TRI8UTI0N]] ([[User talk:R3TRI8UTI0N|talk]]) 05:32, 2 August 2023 (UTC)
::We are. Which I hope you're aware of. But if you weren't... this your [[1053: Ten Thousand|lucky day]]! [[Special:Contributions/172.71.242.15|172.71.242.15]] 10:11, 2 August 2023 (UTC)

August 1, 2023 the moon is a "Super Moon" [[User:KingPenguin|KingPenguin]] ([[User talk:KingPenguin|talk]]) 22:13, 1 August 2023 (UTC)

We need to make a category for these things which would sound outlandish if they didn't exist. [[2115]] is the first one I think of, and I'm sure there's more. I propose we call it [[Category: Things That Seem Like They Shouldn't Work But Do]] in honor of [[2540]]. [[User:Take The A Train To Watertown|Take The A Train To Watertown]] ([[User talk:Take The A Train To Watertown|talk]]) 12:20, 2 August 2023 (UTC)

Talk:2809: Moon

2023-08-02T12:20:11Z

Take The A Train To Watertown:

Happy birthday to me. This comic is a good birthday present, so I'm gonna try to add some stuff to the explanation now. [[User:R3TRI8UTI0N|R3TRI8UTI0N]] ([[User talk:R3TRI8UTI0N|talk]]) 02:11, 1 August 2023 (UTC)

Okay, added a Trivia section and a lot of stuff to the explanation. Request someone help add more information about lunar cycles and some wikipedia links. [[User:R3TRI8UTI0N|R3TRI8UTI0N]] ([[User talk:R3TRI8UTI0N|talk]]) 02:35, 1 August 2023 (UTC)
:Ah, well, I added more (sufficient? ...haven't wikilinked yet) info about the illumination/tide cycles. i.e. about half the time (at least) half reilluminating areas on the night side of Earth + roughly twice a day dragging/flinging the tides 'upwards' (modifying the Sun's own twice-daily effects).
:Had to heavily qualify the secondary Trivia point, for caveats. I mean selenically-specific names aren't rare, when refering to orb sometimes known as Phoebe/Cynthia, until you become more precise about "common English use". Didn't say anything about (the) Earth, but did mention the Sun(/suns in general) in the edit comment. Interesting point to make, but not so much unusual as stemming from long time (way into prehistory!) custom so really being the heavily weighted precedent. [[Special:Contributions/172.70.90.187|172.70.90.187]] 05:21, 1 August 2023 (UTC)
::...what? I don't understand. [[User:R3TRI8UTI0N|R3TRI8UTI0N]] ([[User talk:R3TRI8UTI0N|talk]]) 05:32, 2 August 2023 (UTC)
:::''"it can also be described by other titles such as "Luna" (directly taken from from Latin mythology/astronomy)."'' It's not true that "the Moon doesn't have a name". It is ''the'' Moon (unlike other moons), plus all kinds of other names (historical, other culture and/or other language; such as Chandra/Igaluk/Chang'e). But it is interesting to note that, until we were able to imagine (and/or see) moons orbiting other things up in the sky, there was ''just'' its proper name. Whatever it might be. Only after we anticipated the existence of satellites of other planets (and, perhaps, other satellites of our own planet), having first recognised what other planets actually were (distinct from stars, with those being other suns than ''our'' Sun/Sol/Ra/...) was it meaningful that the name(s) we did use for it might be re-used to describe the class of things that were like it. But they then really needed their own fresh names/catalogue numbers. [[Special:Contributions/172.71.242.15|172.71.242.15]] 10:11, 2 August 2023 (UTC)
:Reminds me of that conversation from Dragonheart (paraphrized as I only watched the German dub): "So instead of calling me 'dragon" in your language you call me 'dragon' in another language... I think I like it" [[User:Elektrizikekswerk|Elektrizikekswerk]] ([[User talk:Elektrizikekswerk|talk]]) 07:16, 1 August 2023 (UTC)

If there was no Moon, would an Earth astronomer that discovered moons around one of the other planets be considered a loony? [[User:These Are Not The Comments You Are Looking For|These Are Not The Comments You Are Looking For]] ([[User talk:These Are Not The Comments You Are Looking For|talk]]) 02:40, 1 August 2023 (UTC)
:If there was no moon, it's quite possible there would be no intelligent life on Earth. Also, when Galileo Galilei found Jupiter's moons, he was totally considered loony by some, while others said it's defect of the telescope. Remember that at that point of history, suggesting that if Earth has moon, other planets might have one too was something you could be burned on stake for. -- [[User:Hkmaly|Hkmaly]] ([[User talk:Hkmaly|talk]]) 03:13, 1 August 2023 (UTC)

:Definitely not. (I see what you did there.) --[[Special:Contributions/172.70.247.155|172.70.247.155]] 12:55, 1 August 2023 (UTC)

I doubt the title text is intended as a reference to that saying. [[Special:Contributions/172.69.247.51|172.69.247.51]] 04:17, 1 August 2023 (UTC)
:Yeah, I don't get how that is related either. The title text references that it is pretty, but the nmoves away from that. Not sure how that is related to a quote that doesn't even use the word "pretty". --[[User:Lupo|Lupo]] ([[User talk:Lupo|talk]]) 09:28, 1 August 2023 (UTC)
::I mean, the word "beautiful" and "pretty" have common meanings, so I thought about that connection, but if no one else made the connection, so be it. [[User:R3TRI8UTI0N|R3TRI8UTI0N]] ([[User talk:R3TRI8UTI0N|talk]]) 05:30, 2 August 2023 (UTC)
:::I think if that connection was meant to be invoked it would just say beautiful, or get more into detail of the way it is pretty/beautiful. However it was just used as a kind of connector to make the other mentioned aspects seem more minor. --[[User:Lupo|Lupo]] ([[User talk:Lupo|talk]]) 08:05, 2 August 2023 (UTC)

Like many things,{{Citation needed}} it has probably seemed usual whilst we only know our own example. Once we started to find other examples out there, we can discover the ways in which it's an outlier. (Martian: "Well of ''course'' there's those two small rock 'stars' visibly zipping around overhead, that's what the sky alsays looks like for me, and I imagine that it's much the same for anyone else..." Earthling/Venusian/Jovian/Tritonian/Plutoid: "...hold my beer!") [[Special:Contributions/141.101.99.133|141.101.99.133]] 07:26, 1 August 2023 (UTC)

I've been saying this about the Sun… A great fireball looming in the sky. It remotely powers life. (Even with 90% of that power lost at each trophic level!) It is worshipped as a god. It controls Earthlings' sense of time. When it leaves the sky at a regular interval, a wave of fear follows, and everything seeks shelter and goes dormant until its return. Oh, but it also burns and mutates the flesh of those who stand in its rays, to the point that it's ''dangerous to look at''. Sounds fake, right? And yet, there it is. <span style="background:#0064de;font-size:12px;padding:4px 12px;border-radius:8px;">[[User talk:AgentMuffin|<span style="color:#f0faff;">~AgentMuffin</span>]]</span> 08:00, 1 August 2023 (UTC)

I have a personal theory that the constant gravitational massage is responsible for sustaining the Earth's large magnetic field, thus preventing the solar wind making us like Venus or Mars, and probably keeping the tectonic plates on the move. (Oh and dogs domesticated themselves - just saying p.s. same for cats but only after we had barns). [[User:RIIW - Ponder it|RIIW - Ponder it]] ([[User talk:RIIW - Ponder it|talk]]) 09:38, 1 August 2023 (UTC)

I think we’re well past the point of “plans being made” of humans returning to the Moon. [[User:SilverTheTerribleMathematician|Silver]] ([[User talk:SilverTheTerribleMathematician|talk]]) 19:29, 1 August 2023 (UTC)
:You mean that we are currently building rockets and stuff to send people to the moon at this very moment? [[User:R3TRI8UTI0N|R3TRI8UTI0N]] ([[User talk:R3TRI8UTI0N|talk]]) 05:32, 2 August 2023 (UTC)
::We are. Which I hope you're aware of. But if you weren't... this your [[1053: Ten Thousand|lucky day]]! [[Special:Contributions/172.71.242.15|172.71.242.15]] 10:11, 2 August 2023 (UTC)

August 1, 2023 the moon is a "Super Moon" [[User:KingPenguin|KingPenguin]] ([[User talk:KingPenguin|talk]]) 22:13, 1 August 2023 (UTC)

We need to make a category for these things which would sound outlandish if they didn't exist. [[2115]] is the first one I think of, and I'm sure there's more. [[User:Take The A Train To Watertown|Take The A Train To Watertown]] ([[User talk:Take The A Train To Watertown|talk]]) 12:20, 2 August 2023 (UTC)

Category:Bad Map Projections

2023-07-27T10:56:01Z

Take The A Train To Watertown: 15 months later

This series began in [[1784: Bad Map Projection: Liquid Resize|January 2017]], and that it was a series became clear when it got its second installment in [[1799: Bad Map Projection: Time Zones|February 2017]]. But then it took three years until the third came in [[Bad Map Projection: South America|January 2020]]. The fourth came a year and a half later in [[2489: Bad Map Projection: The Greenland Special|July 2021]]. The fifth came nine and a half months later in [[2613: Bad Map Projection: Madagascator|April 2022]]. The sixth came 15 months later in [[2807: Bad Map Projection: ABS(Longitude)|July 2023]].

[[Randall]] has been into [[:Category:Maps|maps]] for a long time on xkcd. Especially he focused on {{w|map projections}}, which are various ways to show the Earth on a flat surface, as in [[977: Map Projections]]. This is not possible to do without distortion because the Earth is not flat.{{Citation needed}}

A long time after releasing that comic, which did not say the projections were bad, but clearly showed how different Earth's countries looks in different maps, he continues the list of projections (well, with Bad Map Projections he made himself) in what turned out to be a series, of five comics so far.

However, these projections are not real projections, and they are all named "Bad Map Projection: ''(Name)''".
They even get a number, which if taken seriously would mean there are 353 other unreleased bad map projections at least. So far they have the following numbers (listed in number order rather than release order; the first two were released in the opposite order, as were the last three).
:<nowiki>#79</nowiki>: [[1799: Bad Map Projection: Time Zones|Time Zones]]
:<nowiki>#107</nowiki>: [[1784: Bad Map Projection: Liquid Resize|The Liquid Resize]]
:<nowiki>#152</nowiki>: [[2807: Bad Map Projection: ABS(Longitude)|ABS(Longitude)]]
:<nowiki>#248</nowiki>: [[2613: Bad Map Projection: Madagascator|Madagascator]]
:<nowiki>#299</nowiki>: [[2489: Bad Map Projection: The Greenland Special|The Greenland Special]]
:<nowiki>#358</nowiki>: [[2256: Bad Map Projection: South America|South America]]

This may give promise of several more bad projections. So far, the first two have been released using a similar six color scheme, like a political map with each country in a different color than its closest neighbors. But the other three were just plain black, gray, and white.

[[Category:Maps]]
[[Category:Comic series]]

2799: Frankenstein Claim Permutations

2023-07-08T03:29:50Z

Take The A Train To Watertown:

{{comic
| number = 2799
| date = July 7, 2023
| title = Frankenstein Claim Permutations
| image = frankenstein_claim_permutations_2x.png
| imagesize = 596x612px
| noexpand = true
| titletext = When I began trying to form a new claim by stitching together these parts in such an unnatural way, some called me mad.
}}

==Explanation==
{{incomplete|Created by MARY SHELLEY'S MONSTER - Please change this comment when editing this page. Do NOT delete this tag too soon.}}
It's a common misconception about the names of the characters in {{w|Frankenstein}}, which Randall has previously touched upon in [[1589]] and [[2604]].

The title text is a reference to the Doctor's process of creating the Monster.
==Transcript==
{{incomplete transcript|Do NOT delete this tag too soon.}}
{| class="wikitable"
|Claim||Notes
|-
|"No, the monster in Mary Shelley's book is unnamed. Frankenstein is the doctor who created him."||This is the normal claim
|-
|"No, the monster in Mary Shelley's novel is named Frankenstein."||Also common, and not worth getting mad about IMO
|-
|"No, Frankenstein is the name of the author. The monster Mary Shelley created is unnamed."||At a glance this could pass for one of the normal claims
|-
|"No one knows who wrote the novel about Doctor Mary Shelley creating the monster Frankenstein."||I would read this book
|-
|"No, Frankenstein is the name of the doctor. The monster he created is Mary Shelley."||rowspan=2|Fully chaotic
|-
|"No, the doctor who creates Mary Shelley in Frankenstein's novel doesn't have a name."
|}
[[Category:Frankenstein]]
{{comic discussion}}

2799: Frankenstein Claim Permutations

2023-07-08T03:23:08Z

Take The A Train To Watertown: 2604

{{comic
| number = 2799
| date = July 7, 2023
| title = Frankenstein Claim Permutations
| image = frankenstein_claim_permutations_2x.png
| imagesize = 596x612px
| noexpand = true
| titletext = When I began trying to form a new claim by stitching together these parts in such an unnatural way, some called me mad.
}}

==Explanation==
{{incomplete|Created by MARY SHELLEY'S MONSTER - Please change this comment when editing this page. Do NOT delete this tag too soon.}}
See [[2604]]
==Transcript==
{{incomplete transcript|Do NOT delete this tag too soon.}}
{| class="wikitable"
|Claim||Notes
|-
|"No, the monster in Mary Shelley's book is unnamed. Frankenstein is the doctor who created him."||This is the normal claim
|-
|"No, the monster in Mary Shelley's novel is named Frankenstein."||Also common, and not worth getting mad about IMO
|-
|"No, Frankenstein is the name of the author. The monster Mary Shelley created is unnamed."||At a glance this could pass for one of the normal claims
|-
|"No one knows who wrote the novel about Doctor Mary Shelley creating the monster Frankenstein."||I would read this book
|-
|"No, Frankenstein is the name of the doctor. The monster he created is Mary Shelley."||rowspan=2|Fully chaotic
|-
|"No, the doctor creates Mary Shelley in Frankenstein's novel doesn't have a name."
|}

{{comic discussion}}

1196: Subways

2023-07-02T05:14:51Z

Take The A Train To Watertown: Clarification regarding Forest Hills

{{comic
| number = 1196
| date = April 8, 2013
| title = Subways
| image = subways.png
| titletext = About one in three North American subway stops are in NYC.
}}
*The xkcd page links to [http://xkcd.com/1196/large/ a much larger version], which has another text added:
<blockquote style="font-style:italic">
For the pedantic rail enthusiasts, the definition of a subway used here is, with some caveats, "a network containing high capacity grade-separated passenger rail transit lines which run frequently, serve an urban core, and are underground or elevated for at least part of their downtown route." For the rest of you, the definition is "an underground train in a city."
</blockquote>
{{TOC}}

==Explanation==
[[File:North American subways.svg.png|right|border|link=http://www.radicalcartography.net/subways.html|North America Subways by Prof. Bill Rankin]]
The comic shows the maps of all North American {{w|subway}} networks. In reality, none of these systems are interconnected, but in the diagram subways from different cities that have the same color on the official subway map have whimsically named connections, such as the "Ohio-California Tunnel" connecting the Green Lines of Cleveland and Los Angeles, or the "Rocky Mountain Tunnel" connecting the Blue Lines of Chicago and San Francisco. Vancouver and San Francisco are connected through a station called Richmond, which appears to double as {{w|Richmond, British Columbia}} and {{w|Richmond, California}}. The "Springfield Monorail" is fictional, from the animated series ''{{w|The Simpsons}}'' (see {{w|Marge vs. the Monorail}}), but its approximate location on this map would suggest the [http://www.seattlemonorail.com/ Seattle Monorail], or perhaps Springfield, Oregon, which [http://www.smithsonianmag.com/arts-culture/Matt-Groening-Reveals-the-Location-of-the-Real-Springfield.html Matt Groening revealed was the inspiration for the Simpsons' hometown].

The [http://www.radicalcartography.net/subways.html Urban Mass Transit Systems of North America] map (right) created by [http://hshm.yale.edu/rankin Yale Professor Bill Rankin] on his web site [http://www.radicalcartography.net/ Radical Cartography] in 2006 presents all of the subway systems in North America at the same scale using geographic, instead of topological, layout.

The networks on xkcd's map are displayed with absolutely no consideration to geographic position, in order to connect like-colored routes together. While {{w|Vancouver}} is the most North-West, {{w|Mexico City}} being the most South, and San Francisco the most west, distances are not accurate (in reality, Vancouver is closer to Chicago than to Toronto for example) and cities are often arranged in the wrong direction from one another:

* San Francisco is shown directly west of Toronto - in reality west southwest
* Boston is shown directly north of New York City and just slightly to the west - in reality east northeast
* Atlanta is shown west southwest of Miami - it is actually north northwest
* Atlanta is shown northwest of Mexico City - it is actually northeast
* Atlanta is shown slightly east of being south of Los Angeles - it is actually just slightly north of being directly east

The map's design is modeled after the system map of the {{w|Massachusetts Bay Transportation Authority}} in Boston where Randall is from.

===City-specific notes===

===={{w|SkyTrain_(Vancouver)|Vancouver}}====
*The {{w|Canada Line}} and the {{w|Expo Line (TransLink)|Expo Line}} are shown as the same color; SkyTrain's official maps depict them with light blue and dark blue respectively.
*{{w|Richmond, British Columbia|Richmond}}, B.C., is the name of the city where the southernmost terminus of the Canada Line is located, and shares its name with {{w|Richmond, California}} (see San Francisco section).

===={{w|MBTA subway|Boston}}====
*The "Green Line Extension to Canada" references {{w|Green Line Extension|the actual project}} to extend the {{w|Green Line (MBTA)|Green Line}} into Medford, north of Boston, which was completed in 2022.
*The "Ashmont–Manhattan High-Speed Line" shown as connecting Boston's Red Line to New York City's 1 train is a play on the {{w|Ashmont-Mattapan High Speed Line}} in Boston.
*The renamed {{w|Red Line (MBTA)|Red Line}} stops {{w|Quincy Center station|Skinflower}} and {{w|Quincy Adams station|Bonevine}} are plays on the actual name of the Red Line's terminus, {{w|Braintree (MBTA station)|Braintree}}.
*The {{w|Orange Line (MBTA)|Orange Line}} terminates at {{w|Forest Hills station (MBTA)|Forest Hills}} in {{w|Jamaica Plain}}. It is connected to New York's IND Concourse Line, but unfortunately despite its ambiguous appearance on the map this does not actually through-run to the IND Queens Boulevard Line with its {{w|Forest Hills-71st Avenue station|Forest Hills}} and {{w|Jamaica–179th Street station|Jamaica}} stations.

====San Francisco====
*Both {{w|Muni Metro|Muni}} and {{w|Bay Area Rapid Transit|BART}} are depicted in San Francisco's map and are completely separate systems, although the map gives the impression that trains interline between the two. Non-wheelchair-accessible stops on Muni lines are omitted.
*{{w|Richmond, California|Richmond}} is the name of the city where the northern terminus of the {{w|Richmond-Fremont line|Richmond–Fremont}} and the {{w|Richmond-Daly City/Millbrae line|Richmond–Daly City/Millbrae}} BART lines are located, and shares its name with {{w|Richmond, British Columbia|Richmond, British Columbia}} (see Vancouver section).
*"Sunnydale" is the {{w|Sunnydale Station|actual name}} of the terminus of the Muni {{w|T Third Street}} line, not to be confused with {{w|Sunnydale|the city}} where ''Buffy the Vampire Slayer'' is set, nor the very real city of {{w|Sunnyvale, California|Sunnyvale}}, located approximately at the location shown, some 40 miles Southeast of San Francisco.

===={{w|Los Angeles Metro Rail|Los Angeles}}====
*The {{w|Gold Line (Los Angeles Metro)|Gold Line}} and the {{w|Orange Line (Los Angeles Metro)|Orange Line}} are shown with swapped colors.
*The Orange Line is the only {{w|bus rapid transit}} (BRT) line to be shown on the map. LA Metro also operates a second BRT line, the {{w|Silver Line (Los Angeles Metro)|Silver Line}}, which is not shown.

====New York City====
*The {{w|New York City Subway}}, {{w|Port Authority Trans-Hudson}} (PATH), and the single line of the {{w|Staten Island Railway}} (with a connection via the {{w|Staten Island Ferry}}) are shown.
*{{w|Jamaica, Queens|Jamaica}} is the name of the neighborhood in Queens where the E, F, and J/Z trains terminate. Kingston is the capital and largest city in the country of {{w|Jamaica}}.
*The actual {{w|G (New York City Subway service)|G train}} is notorious for unreliable service, hence the "Random Service" notation.
*The "Robert Moses High-Speed Line" refers to the NYC urban planner {{w|Robert Moses}}, who was one of the most influential planners in supporting cars over all public transport, creating the car-dependent {{w|New York metropolitan area}}.

====Philadelphia====
*Both {{w|SEPTA}} subway lines, a portion of the {{w|SEPTA Subway–Surface Trolley Lines}}, and the {{w|PATCO Speedline}} are shown.
*"Trolley Rt. 10 to California" is a play on the actual {{w|SEPTA Route 10|Route 10}} trolley.

===={{w|Washington Metro|Washington, DC}}====
*The "Graveyard for passengers killed by closing doors" refers to the warning played in the Washington DC Metro system advising passengers that the subway doors are "not like elevator doors" and will close on your limbs or belongings rather than opening when contact with an object is detected.
*The "Morgantown, WV Automated Line" references the {{w|Morgantown Personal Rapid Transit}} system, which was built in 1975 as a {{w|personal rapid transit}} demonstrator and serves the three campuses of West Virginia University.
*{{w|Greenbelt (WMATA station)|Greenbelt}} is the northern terminus of the Washington Metro's Green and Yellow lines, hence the Green line being depicted as forming a belt.
*This comic was made before the Silver line was constructed, so it does not appear in the comic.

===={{w|Metrorail (Miami-Dade County)|Miami}}====
*The "Caribbean Metromover" references the {{w|Miami Metromover}}, a people mover in downtown Miami (not shown on the map.)
*The airport logo for Miami International Airport (MIA) is replaced with a paper airplane.

===={{w|Tren Urbano|San Juan}}====
*The "Puerto Rico Submarine" that connects the Red Lines of San Juan and New York refers to the fact that San Juan is on an island, namely {{w|Puerto Rico}}.
*The "Mona Tunnel" that connects the Red Lines of San Juan and Santo Domingo may refer to the island of {{w|Isla de Mona|Mona}}, which lies between Puerto Rico and Hispaniola.

===={{w|Metrorrey|Monterrey}}====
*The "Chicxulub Tunnel" that connects the Red Lines of Santo Domingo and Monterey refers to the 65-million-year-old {{w|Chicxulub crater}}, which lies roughly between the two cities.

===Official subway maps===
*Atlanta - http://www.itsmarta.com/rail-schedules-or-route.aspx
*Baltimore (MTA Maryland) - http://mta.maryland.gov/sites/default/files/metro-subway.jpg
*Boston (MBTA) - http://www.mbta.com/schedules_and_maps/subway/
*Chicago (CTA) - http://www.transitchicago.com/assets/1/maps/P19_2012_CTA_Rail_Map.pdf
*Cleveland - http://www.riderta.com/pdf/maps/System_Map_Rapid_Connect.pdf
*Los Angeles (LACMTA) - http://www.metro.net/riding_metro/maps/images/rail_map.gif
*Mexico City - http://www.metro.df.gob.mx/imagenes/red/redinternet.pdf
*Montreal - http://www.stm.info/english/metro/images/plan-metro.jpg
*New York City (MTA) - http://www.mta.info/maps/submap.html
*New York City (PATH) - http://www.panynj.gov/path/maps.html
*Philadelphia (SEPTA and PATCO) - http://www.septa.org/maps/system/index.html
*San Francisco (BART) - http://www.bart.gov/images/global/system-map.gif
*San Francisco (MUNI) - https://www.sfmta.com/maps/muni-metro-map
*Toronto (TTC) - https://www.tourbytransit.com/toronto/public-transit/subway
*Vancouver - http://mapa-metro.com/mapas/Vancouver/mapa-metro-vancouver.png
*Washington (WMATA) - http://wmata.com/rail/maps/map.cfm

===Missing cities===
Not all cities with a subway are shown on the map. Missing from the map:
*Pittsburgh (Port Authority of Allegheny County) has a light rail subway tunnel, called '''The T''', in the downtown area. The subway {{W|Pittsburgh Light Rail|opened in 1985}}, which is before this comic was published. {{Citation needed}}

{{clear}}

==Transcript==
:'''Subways of North America'''
:[A subway-line style (bold colored, 45-degree aligned lines with white bars indicating stations) map has been constructed by combining and linking various parts of the subway maps from many different cities, as if all of the transit systems were connected directly. The cities include (from top to bottom, left to right) Vancouver, Montreal, San Francisco, Toronto, Boston, Chicago, Los Angeles, Cleveland, New York City, Philadelphia, Baltimore, Washington DC, Miami, Atlanta, Monterrey, San Juan, Santo Domingo, and Mexico City.]

==Trivia==
*A print version of this comic is available in the [https://store.xkcd.com/products/subways xkcd store].

{{comic discussion}}

[[Category:Large drawings]]
[[Category:Comics with color]]
[[Category:Maps]]
[[Category:Comics with xkcd store products]]

2774: Taxiing

2023-05-10T20:48:07Z

Take The A Train To Watertown: /* Explanation */ tyop

{{comic
| number = 2774
| date = May 10, 2023
| title = Taxiing
| image = taxiing_2x.png
| imagesize = 399x431px
| noexpand = true
| titletext = I don't understand why anyone would pay full price for a flatbed truck rental when you can buy 'DETOUR' signs online for like $10.
}}

==Explanation==
{{incomplete|Created by a STOLEN WATERBED TRUCK - Please change this comment when editing this page. Do NOT delete this tag too soon.}}
In this comic, [[Cueball]] is acquiring an airplane by directing it with orange lights sticks onto a ramp that will take it up onto a trailer, so he can drive away with it. And he thus wonders why anyone would buy a plane, when those glow sticks can be bough cheaply on the internet.

{{w|Aircraft marshalling|Marshallers}} stand on the runway and use "glowing wand things" to direct planes around while they are taxxing. Cueball is using glowing wand things to hijack a plane and direct it into a trailer, where it will presumedly be locked up and taken somewhere else with the plane claimed. The caption claims that paying "full price" for an airplane (buying one normally) is ridiculous when the wand things that allow you to direct planes to where you want them to go are about $30 online.

This is, obviously, illegal.{{citation needed}}

The title text mentions doing a similar thing, but with detour signs rather than glow wands and flatbed trucks rather than planes. it seems Cueball used this tactic to obtain the truck he is loading the airplane onto.

==Transcript==
:[Cueball is waiving two orange sticks in the air, one in each hand. They are glowing as indicated with small orange lines all around the orange part. The handle he holds them by is black. Cueball is pointing one stick to the left where, behind him, is a ramp that extends beyond the panel. The other stick is held up in front of his face and he looks up onto the front end of a large plane. Only a small part of the plane is visible, mainly the very tip with just a bit of the window into the cockpit shown. The underside of the tip is gray, the rest is white with the window in black.]
:Cueball: ...Keep going...
:Cueball: ...Slightly left...
:Cueball: ...Okay, good...you're lined up with the ramp...
:Cueball: ...Now pull forward slowly up onto the trailer...

:[Caption below the panel:]
:I don't understand why anyone would pay full price for an airplane when you can buy those glowing wand things online for like $30.

{{comic discussion}}

[[Category:Comics with color]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Cueball]]
[[Category:Aviation]]

2774: Taxiing

2023-05-10T20:47:14Z

Take The A Train To Watertown: /* Explanation */ Marshaller is the word for the glow stick guys, you're welcome

{{comic
| number = 2774
| date = May 10, 2023
| title = Taxiing
| image = taxiing_2x.png
| imagesize = 399x431px
| noexpand = true
| titletext = I don't understand why anyone would pay full price for a flatbed truck rental when you can buy 'DETOUR' signs online for like $10.
}}

==Explanation==
{{incomplete|Created by a STOLEN WATERBED TRUCK - Please change this comment when editing this page. Do NOT delete this tag too soon.}}
In this comic, [[Cueball]] is acquiring an airplane by directing it with orange lights sticks onto a ramp that will take it up onto a trailer, so he can drive away with it. And he thus wonders why anyone would buy a plane, when those glow sticks can be bough cheaply on the internet.

{{w|Aircraft marshalling|Marshallers}} stand on the runway and use "glowing wand things" to direct planes around while they are taxxing. Cueball is using glowing wand things to hijack a plane and direct it into a trailer, where it will rpesumably be locked up and taken somewhere else with the plane claimed. The caption claims that paying "full price" for an airplane (buying one normally) is ridiculous when the wand things that allow you to direct planes to where you want them to go are about $30 online.

This is, obviously, illegal.{{citation needed}}

The title text mentions doing a similar thing, but with detour signs rather than glow wands and flatbed trucks rather than planes. it seems Cueball used this tactic to obtain the truck he is loading the airplane onto.

==Transcript==
:[Cueball is waiving two orange sticks in the air, one in each hand. They are glowing as indicated with small orange lines all around the orange part. The handle he holds them by is black. Cueball is pointing one stick to the left where, behind him, is a ramp that extends beyond the panel. The other stick is held up in front of his face and he looks up onto the front end of a large plane. Only a small part of the plane is visible, mainly the very tip with just a bit of the window into the cockpit shown. The underside of the tip is gray, the rest is white with the window in black.]
:Cueball: ...Keep going...
:Cueball: ...Slightly left...
:Cueball: ...Okay, good...you're lined up with the ramp...
:Cueball: ...Now pull forward slowly up onto the trailer...

:[Caption below the panel:]
:I don't understand why anyone would pay full price for an airplane when you can buy those glowing wand things online for like $30.

{{comic discussion}}

[[Category:Comics with color]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Cueball]]
[[Category:Aviation]]