Syndication

2020-04-29T06:22:16Z

The Unknown:

{{comic
| date = April 1, 2007
| title = Syndication
| image = syndication.jpg
| ldomain = imgs
| lappend = comics/xkcd_ufs.jpg
| titletext = Complaints should be directed to the xkcd writing staff.
| before = Now that xkcd is carried by United Features Syndicate, there are going to be a few changes to the comic. Obviously, with the rights signed over, it will no longer be published under Creative Commons, and all previous strips will be retroactively un-CC'd and relicensed under UFS terms. All online content will be protected via proprietary DRM. I also recieved a letter outlining topics and content that would be off-limits in the new xkcd. Prohibited content includes:

- Cultural references that would be lost on the average newspaper reader

- Mathematics above the high-school level

- Obscure scientific subjects

- Overt sexual material

- Objectionable words such as fuck, shit, cunt, ass, tits, cock, scrotum, bitch, Belgium, pussy, or twat

- Same-sex relationships

- Star Wars

- Star Trek (Original Series and Enterprise)

- The home phone numbers of White House employees

- Bacon-based currencies

- Erotic use of flywheels

- ExposÃ©s regarding other United Features syndicated characters

- ExposÃ©s regarding the personal lives of United Features Syndicate executives, specifically including CEO Kenneth Lowe

- Teledildonics

- Portrayals of Johnny Cash as an Amway distributor

- Any story that ends with "and that's how my penis got the nickname 'grappling hook'."

- Computer-computer cybersex

- Swordfights between white people

- Bitch & Animal

- Sexualization of Mt. Rushmore

- Staplers as mÃ©lÃ©e weapons

- Road trip buddy comedies starring Tank Girl and William Howard Taft

- Eric S. Raymond performing in Cirque du Soleil

- Hats with buckles

- Licking of nipples atop a moving train

The internet is the past. Newspapers are the future! See you in the funny papers.
}}

==Explanation==
{{incomplete|Created by an EROTIC FLYWHEEL. Needs a list explaining all the changes required. Do NOT delete this tag too soon.}}

This is a non-numbered [[:Category:April fools' comics|April fools' comic]], and is the first April fools' joke performed on xkcd. This comic, formatted similarly to other posts such as [[Blue Eyes]]. The post describes xkcd becoming syndicated into a newspaper, changing from a webcomic. Newspapers are notorious for censorship of content, and [[Randall]] describes all the changes that would be required of the comic, the humor coming from their progressive absurdity.

==List of Changes proposed by Randall==

{| border =1 width=100% cellpadding=5 class="wikitable"
! # !! Change !! Explanation !!
|-
! 1
| '''Cultural References that would be lost on the average newspaper reader'''
|xkcd is known for its niche cultural references, one of the main reasons this wiki exists.
|-
! 2
| '''Mathematics above the high-school level'''
|Another trademark of xkcd is its use of mathematics for humor. More complex mathematics tends to lend itself less well to comedy.
|-
! 3
| '''Obscure scientific subjects'''
|Again, this is a common feature of xkcd comics, which turns off many would-be readers for its exclusivity, making xkcd difficult to syndicate.
|-
! 4
| '''Overt sexual material'''
|xkcd's abstract art style means that it can get away with sexual content without seeming profane, and takes advantage of this often.
|-
! 5
| '''Objectionable words such as {{w|fuck}}, {{w|shit}}, {{w|cunt}}, {{w|ass}}, {{w|tits}}, {{w|cock}}, {{w|scrotum}}, {{w|bitch}}, {{w|Belgium}}, {{w|pussy}}, or {{w|twat}}'''
|Newspaper comics tend to have very "clean" humor, which xkcd's usual writing style is ill suited for. Belgium is the rudest word in the universe according to {{w|The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy}}.
|-
!6
| '''{{w|Same Sex relationships}}'''
|Newspapers are more often read by older people, so same-sex relationships are often absent to avoid conservative backlash.
|-
!7
| '''{{w|Star Wars}}'''
|Star Wars, a common reference in xkcd, is an intellectual property that would need to be licensed, at great expense to United.
|-
!8
| '''{{w|Star Trek}} (Original and Enterprise)'''
|Similar case to Star Wars.
|-
!9
| '''The home phone numbers of {{w|White House}} employees'''
|At this point, the list items begin to become more absurd, tipping more credulous readers off to the joke.
|-
!10
| '''{{w|Bacon}} Based Currencies'''
|
|-
!11
| '''Erotic use of {{w|Flywheels}}'''
|While it is hard to see how one could use Flywheels erotically, {{w|Rule 34 (Internet meme)|there have been attempts}}.
|-
!12
| '''ExposÃ©s regarding other United Features syndicated characters'''
|Here Randall seems to imply that certain (fictional) comic strip characters are involved in scandals, of which he knows the details.
|-
!13
| '''ExposÃ©s regarding the personal lives of {{w|United Features Syndicate}} executives, specifically including CEO {{w|Kenneth Lowe}}'''
|
|-
!14
| '''{{w|Teledildonics}}'''
|A form of technology used to have sex remotely, obviously unsuitable for the funnies.
|-
!15
| '''Portrayals of {{w|Johnny Cash}} as an {{w|Amway}} distributor'''
|
|-
!16
| '''Any story that ends with "and that's how my penis got the nickname 'grappling hook'.'''
|
|-
!17
| '''Computer-computer {{w|Cybersex}}'''
|Two chatbots cybering with one another is a plausibly real thing, and an easy target for xkcd.
|-
!18
| '''{{w|Swordfights}} between white people'''
|
|-
!19
| '''{{w|Bitch & Animal}}'''
|A "queercore" gay punk band, never mentioned elsewhere in xkcd.
|-
!20
| '''{{w|Sexualization}} of {{w|Mount Rushmore}}'''
|Mount Rushmore National Memorial is a sculpture carved into Mount Rushmore features the 60-foot (18 m) heads of Presidents George Washington (1732–1799), Thomas Jefferson (1743–1826), Theodore Roosevelt (1858–1919), and Abraham Lincoln (1809–1865), as for the sexualization of the mountain, See
Number 11
|-
!21
| '''Staplers as mÃ©lÃ©e weapons'''
|
|-
!22
| '''Road trip buddy comedies starring {{w|Tank Girl}} and {{w|William Howard Taft}}'''
|
|-
!23
| '''{{w|Eric S. Raymond}} performing in {{w|Cirque du Soleil}}'''
|
|-
!24
| '''Hats with buckles'''
|
|-
!25
| '''Licking of nipples atop a moving train'''
|
|}

==Transcript==
:[A Cueball and his Cueball-like friend are standing in some sort of grassy area.]
:Cueball: Why did the computer cross the road?
:Friend: I don't know.

:Cueball: I don't know either! Computers are so complicated!
:Friend: LOL!

:Editor's note: "LOL" is an online acronym for "laughing out loud." It alerts you to something funny, so keep an eye out!

{{comic discussion}}

[[Category:April fools' comics]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Cueball]]
[[Category:Comics_with_color]]
[[Category:Extra_comics]]
[[Category:Multiple Cueballs]]

explain xkcd - User contributions [en]

Syndication