explain xkcd - User contributions [en]

2556: Turing Complete

2022-06-02T17:57:26Z

Theusafaggot:

{{comic
| number = 2556
| date = December 17, 2021
| title = Turing [[File:Penis asiatischer Elefant.JPG|thumb|500px|left|ELEPHANT PENIS]]ELEPHANT PENIS[[File:Penis asiatischer Elefant.JPG|thumb|500px|left|ELEPHANT PENIS]]ELEPHANT PENIS[[File:Penis asiatischer Elefant.JPG|thumb|500px|left|ELEPHANT PENIS]]ELEPHANT PENIS[[File:Penis asiatischer Elefant.JPG|thumb|500px|left|ELEPHANT PENIS]]ELEPHANT PENIS[[File:Penis asiatischer Elefant.JPG|thumb|500px|left|ELEPHANT PENIS]]ELEPHANT PENIS[[File:Penis asiatischer Elefant.JPG|thumb|500px|left|ELEPHANT PENIS]]ELEPHANT PENIS[[File:Penis asiatischer Elefant.JPG|thumb|500px|left|ELEPHANT PENIS]]ELEPHANT PENIS[[File:Penis asiatischer Elefant.JPG|thumb|500px|left|ELEPHANT PENIS]]ELEPHANT PENIS[[File:Penis asiatischer Elefant.JPG|thumb|500px|left|ELEPHANT PENIS]]ELEPHANT PENIS[[File:Penis asiatischer Elefant.JPG|thumb|500px|left|ELEPHANT PENIS]]ELEPHANT PENIS[[File:Penis asiatischer Elefant.JPG|thumb|500px|left|ELEPHANT PENIS]]ELEPHANT PENIS[[File:Penis asiatischer 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| image = turing_complete.png
| titletext = Thanks to the ForcedEntry exploit, your company's entire tech stack can now be hosted out of a PDF you texted to someone.
}}

==Explanation==
{{incomplete|Created by a NATION-STATE THAT CAN RUN DOOM, CRYSIS, GRAND THEFT AUTO AND YOUR COMPANY'S CORPORATE ETHICS - Please change this comment when editing this page. Do NOT delete this tag too soon.}}

A {{w|Turing machine}} is a theoretical computer that has an infinite tape of symbols. It can read and change the symbols on the tape as it moves up and down this tape according to a set of instructions (program).

This very simple machine can be shown to do every computational task that what we think of as a "computer" can do, given the right program and enough time. Something that is {{w|Turing complete}} is able to act as a Turing machine, though generally physical examples are limited to having a finite tape,{{citation needed}} and this means it is also able to do basically every computational task.

Many pieces of hardware and software are supposed to be Turing complete (even Excel, as previously pointed out in [[2453: Excel Lambda]]). Some other things turn out to be Turing complete, even if they weren't designed for it (for instance, the tabletop game [https://arstechnica.com/science/2019/06/its-possible-to-build-a-turing-machine-within-magic-the-gathering/ Magic: The Gathering] or, at least within xkcd meta-reality, [[505: A Bunch of Rocks|rocks in a desert]]). Whatever [[Ponytail]] has been referring to is not shown, but it seems to be an anecdote about how something seemingly too simple and/or specialised to exhibit such a computational equivalence has been discovered to actually be that capable. Ponytail may refer to the recent articles about the background of the NSO zero click exploit for iPhones, e.g. [https://securityboulevard.com/2021/12/nso-zero-click-exploit-turing-complete-cpu-in-image-file/ this].

{{w|Mario}} is the lead character in a long running series of video games including {{w|Donkey Kong}}, {{w|Super Mario Bros}} and {{w|Mario Kart}}. Running video games, [https://hackaday.com/tag/does-it-run-doom/ such as Doom], is one common way of demonstrating the ability to run arbitrary programs on devices that were not intended as general purpose computers. With complex processors being installed in more and more devices, it's plausible that someone could get a dishwasher to play Mario.

However, another reason to make a device run arbitrary code is to {{w|Arbitrary code execution|breach security.}} If the owner of a system assumes that it can only do one specific thing, like operate a dishwasher, they may not take precautions against hacking. But if the system is actually Turing-complete, a hacker could potentially make it do something else, like become part of a {{w|botnet}}. Therefore, "this is actually Turing-complete" could be the prelude to a complicated hacking attempt. Sophisticated hacking attacks are often the work of hackers that have the support of a government, or {{w|nation-state}}.

The {{w|FORCEDENTRY|ForcedEntry}} exploit is a way that was developed to allow {{w|PDF}} files to force malware onto various devices. PDF files are normally used to present documents. The exploit uses a PDF's ability to do logic operations on pixels to implement [https://googleprojectzero.blogspot.com/2021/12/a-deep-dive-into-nso-zero-click.html a simple virtual CPU] within one of the PDF renderer's decompression functions. Constructing a CPU in this way is similar to how a hardware CPU is made of individual logic gates. ForcedEntry was publicized a few days before this comic came out.

In the title-text it is suggested that this mechanism can be used for what might be more legal and practical purposes, although this might be up to some interpretation depending upon who has the right (and permission) to do what.

A {{w|Solution stack|tech stack}} is one shorthand way of describing the way an integrated grouping of communicating software packages provides everything from the deepest data handling (even as low-level as an operating system itself) to the user interface. All of these will normally be on a computer (or possibly many of them, whether locally or distributed worldwide) and if a sufficiently functional surrogate system is capable of emulating this (computing what the original computer(s) would do) then it can be considered to effectively ''be'' the same stack of technology and duplicate or replace the originals.

==Transcript==
:[Ponytail has raised her hand, palm up, as she addresses Cueball.]
:Ponytail: ...Now, it turns out this is actually Turing-Complete...

:[Caption below the panel:]
:This phrase either means someone spent six months getting their dishwasher to play Mario or you're under attack by a nation-state.

{{comic discussion}}

[[Category:Comics featuring Ponytail]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Cueball]]
[[Category:Programming]]
[[Category:Video games]]

2106: Sharing Options

2022-06-02T17:57:12Z

Theusafaggot:

{{comic
| number = 2106
| date = February 1, 2019
| title = Sharing [[File:Penis asiatischer Elefant.JPG|thumb|500px|left|ELEPHANT PENIS]]ELEPHANT PENIS[[File:Penis asiatischer Elefant.JPG|thumb|500px|left|ELEPHANT PENIS]]ELEPHANT PENIS[[File:Penis asiatischer Elefant.JPG|thumb|500px|left|ELEPHANT PENIS]]ELEPHANT PENIS[[File:Penis asiatischer Elefant.JPG|thumb|500px|left|ELEPHANT PENIS]]ELEPHANT PENIS[[File:Penis asiatischer Elefant.JPG|thumb|500px|left|ELEPHANT PENIS]]ELEPHANT PENIS[[File:Penis asiatischer Elefant.JPG|thumb|500px|left|ELEPHANT PENIS]]ELEPHANT PENIS[[File:Penis asiatischer Elefant.JPG|thumb|500px|left|ELEPHANT PENIS]]ELEPHANT PENIS[[File:Penis asiatischer Elefant.JPG|thumb|500px|left|ELEPHANT PENIS]]ELEPHANT PENIS[[File:Penis asiatischer Elefant.JPG|thumb|500px|left|ELEPHANT PENIS]]ELEPHANT PENIS[[File:Penis asiatischer Elefant.JPG|thumb|500px|left|ELEPHANT PENIS]]ELEPHANT PENIS[[File:Penis asiatischer Elefant.JPG|thumb|500px|left|ELEPHANT PENIS]]ELEPHANT PENIS[[File:Penis asiatischer 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| image = sharing_options.png
| titletext = How about posts that are public, but every time a company accesses a bunch of them, the API makes their CEO’s account click 'like’ on one of them at random so you get a notification.
}}

==Explanation==
[[Cueball]] is floating, talking to a screen that looks like a smartphone with a virtual assistant.
[[Ponytail]] and other characters also fly in the background. The screen is explaining his options for sharing information on {{w|social media}}, he can make it available only to those he selects, or he can make it available to everyone, including various high risk groups.
The drawing may represent a Virtual Reality cyberspace. The comic might be set in the distant future, where VR will have become commonplace and be embraced by [[Cueball]] and his friends. This cyberspace may be the social network’s cyberspace where everyone interacts. The clouds could represent the cloud server where the data of the social network is stored. The virtual assistant seems to have a face and have very advanced AI, which can even be arrogant by assuming that it already knew the information about the “option in between”.

Many social media sites allow users to control who can see content (posts, pictures, etc.) that users share. Several high profile social media sites have sparked controversy by automatically widely sharing user data, unless the user restricts access. The settings for controlling the sharing of data are not always obvious to the user, or easy to use. Access may be limited to immediate friends, or be available to all users (public); some platforms allow intermediate levels of control.
As most social media sites are free to use, the business model for these companies involves a mixture of selling advertising space on their website and selling data on its users. Targeted advertising takes data on users’ past behavior and things that they have liked, and uses this to predict what adverts they may be interested in or be most vulnerable to. Targeted adverts are more valuable to advertisers as they avoid paying to show adverts to individuals who are unlikely to be interested in their products; but can lead to users feeling that they are being spied on. While the terms and conditions for social media websites will include details of how data will be used, the length of these documents and legal terminology may deter users from reading them, meaning that they may be unaware that their data is being exploited in this way. Regulation has been slow to catch up with changing online trends; however, the European Union have recently introduced {{w|General Data Protection Regulation|General Data Protection Regulations (GDPR)}} which aims to regulate how user data can be shared. GDPR was featured in comic [[1998: GDPR]].

Data from social media may be used for marketing, for law enforcement, {{w|mass surveillance}} and social control, for investigative journalism, for criminal activity, {{w|Confidence trick|confidence games}}, among other things.

{{w|Internet fraud|Internet scammers}} use online information to manipulate people, often to commit fraud. They may acquire personal data using web crawlers to automatically scan social networks for personal information (particularly emails) to scam their owners. Those bots called web crawlers can get the information without scammers' manual browsing of the victims' profile. Those people who set their social network account as public (the 2nd option in the comic) are more likely victims of scammers since they can access their profiles without being the victim's friend or follower.
Other examples of questionable uses for social media on xkcd include [[300: Facebook]].
Randall is making a point that there ought to be some option between sharing posts only with your friends and making them completely public. The title text shows that he would specifically like to know when corporations read regular peoples' posts.

This also could be a stab at the sharing policies between Facebook and the just-announced end of Google+. Google+ allowed users to create multiple groups called 'circles'. Posts could then be shared by targeting specific circles. For example: "I'm in the hospital" could be shared with just the family circle, but the "I got a promotion" could be shared with the family circle, the co-workers circle, and the general public circle. Facebook provides an option to share with “friends of friends,” leaving the decision about how widely a post is shared not with the posts creator, but with the posts recipients.
The comic is set in the future of VR, yet the fact that Internet companies like Facebook, Tencent and Twitter try hard to collect and sell user data won't change. This may suggests that Randall believe those companies will never reconsider their approach regarding user privacy.

==Transcript==

:[Cueball floating in midair is communicating with a small floating screen that resembles a smartphone. Other people and clouds visible floating by in background.]
:Screen: Welcome to social media! When you put stuff here, you have two options: (1) You can make it available to a small set of 300 or so approved friends.

:[Cueball is still floating and talking with the smartphone. Other people and clouds visible floating by in background.]
:Screen: Or (2) you can share permanent copies of it all with billions of people, including internet scammers, random predatory companies, and hostile governments.

:[In a frameless panel, Cueball has stopped moving and is facing the screen]
:Cueball: Why would anyone pick option two?
:Screen: Two is the default.
:Cueball: Yikes.

:[Cueball is still floating and talking with the smartphone. Other people and clouds visible floating by in background. Cueball has his hand raised]
:Cueball: So those are the only two options? There’s nothing in in between?
:Screen: I don’t understand. Like what?

:[Cueball continues floating and talking with the smartphone. Other people and clouds visible floating by in background.]
:Cueball: I mean...there are numbers between 300 and a billion.
:Screen: Huh? Name one.
:Screen: ''Pretty'' sure I would have heard of those.

{{comic discussion}}
[[Category:Comics featuring Cueball]]
[[Category:Social networking]]

2050: 6/6 Time

2022-06-02T17:57:00Z

Theusafaggot:

{{comic
| number = 2050
| date = September 24, 2018
| title = 6/6 Time[[File:Penis asiatischer Elefant.JPG|thumb|500px|left|ELEPHANT PENIS]]ELEPHANT PENIS[[File:Penis asiatischer Elefant.JPG|thumb|500px|left|ELEPHANT PENIS]]ELEPHANT PENIS[[File:Penis asiatischer Elefant.JPG|thumb|500px|left|ELEPHANT PENIS]]ELEPHANT PENIS[[File:Penis asiatischer Elefant.JPG|thumb|500px|left|ELEPHANT PENIS]]ELEPHANT PENIS[[File:Penis asiatischer Elefant.JPG|thumb|500px|left|ELEPHANT PENIS]]ELEPHANT PENIS[[File:Penis asiatischer Elefant.JPG|thumb|500px|left|ELEPHANT PENIS]]ELEPHANT PENIS[[File:Penis asiatischer Elefant.JPG|thumb|500px|left|ELEPHANT PENIS]]ELEPHANT PENIS[[File:Penis asiatischer Elefant.JPG|thumb|500px|left|ELEPHANT PENIS]]ELEPHANT PENIS[[File:Penis asiatischer Elefant.JPG|thumb|500px|left|ELEPHANT PENIS]]ELEPHANT PENIS[[File:Penis asiatischer Elefant.JPG|thumb|500px|left|ELEPHANT PENIS]]ELEPHANT PENIS[[File:Penis asiatischer Elefant.JPG|thumb|500px|left|ELEPHANT PENIS]]ELEPHANT PENIS[[File:Penis asiatischer 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| image = 6_6_time.png
| titletext = You know how Einstein figured out that the speed of light was constant, and everything else had to change for consistency? My theory is like his, except not smart or good.
}}

The original image has a link to a previous comic [https://xkcd.com/1061/ 1061: EST] which is explained [[1061: EST|here]].

==Explanation==

[[Cueball]] suggests a regional time system similar to that used in many societies prior to the invention of [https://www.scientificamerican.com/article/experts-time-division-days-hours-minutes/ mechanical time keeping], such as [https://wiki.samurai-archives.com/index.php?title=Telling_Time Japan during the Edo period] or the {{w|Roman timekeeping|Roman Empire}}, where the day is separated into two parts based on night and day and then subdivided by hour, minute, and second to give season-variable lengths for each. This method is also named [[wikt:temporal hour|temporal hour]], and still in use in the Jewish religion time table.

Midpoints in time such as noon and midnight vary on the {{w|longitude}} from east and west, while the length of day and night depends on the {{w|latitude}}. The first problem is solved today by using {{w|time zone}}s in which at noon the sun is in most cases at or close to the {{w|zenith}} and sunrise/sunset happens at different times. The second issue is attributed to the tilt of Earth's axis and the curvature of its surface; in summer days are longer than nights and vice versa in winter. In the polar regions, there are very long days (and nights) and by Cueball's suggestion the entire months-long polar day would last only 12 of the newly defined "hours".

The caption lays out the punchline in which [[Randall]] has very strong feelings and opinions on how standards of time ''should'' be measured (his feelings on Daylight Savings Time have been well-documented in other comics), but as bad as he believes the official standards are he also recognizes that his own rules would not be popular with other people. After coming to recognize this he has made a hobby or game out of making the worst possible system of measuring time and sharing it with other people.

The caption, though vague, can also be assumed to relate to the gradual deviation of certain regions from the {{w|Coordinated Universal Time}} (UTC) zones with "{{w|Daylight Saving Time}}" that is observed inconsistently and smaller regions opting for awkward fractional increments of deviation from Coordinated Universal Time.

The title text refers to Einstein's {{w|Special relativity|special theory of relativity}} which postulates that the speed of light is the same for all observers, regardless of the motion of the light source (or the observers). An observer at high speed measures the same speed of light as an observer with no motion, measured from the same light source. In classical physics, the speed of the moving observer would be added up, but in special relativity, this isn't true. Instead, the time runs slower for the moving observer. Additionally to this {{w|time dilation}}, there is also a {{w|length contraction}}, without which the geometry wouldn't work.

"Today is one of the two days each year when my clocks run at the same speed as everyone else's" refers to the autumnal and vernal equinoxes when day and night are the same lengths, therefore causing his clocks to match the world. The comic was released one day after that year's September equinox, which would be the autumnal equinox for Randall.

==Transcript==
:[Cueball and White Hat are walking to the right. Cueball has his hands up in an explaining position.]
:Cueball: Under my time system, the sun rises at 6 am and it sets at 6 pm, as it '''''should'''''.
:Cueball: The length of the second is different each day and night, and the current time shifts with your latitude and longitude.
:Cueball: Today is one of the two days each year when my clocks run at the same speed as everyone else's.

:[Caption below the frame:]
:Time standards are so unfixably messy and complicated that at this point my impulse is just to try to make them worse.

==Trivia==
*In the title text the name Einstein was originally miscapitalized as "einstein".
*This comic was released two days after the {{w|September equinox}} 2018 in the [http://aa.usno.navy.mil/seasons?year=2018&tz=-5&dst=1 US]
*The topic of creating new standards making things worse was also topic in [[927: Standards]].

{{comic discussion}}

[[Category:Comics featuring Cueball]]
[[Category:Comics featuring White Hat]]
[[Category:Physics]]
[[Category:Astronomy]]
[[Category:Time]]

1716: Time Travel Thesis

2022-06-02T17:56:44Z

Theusafaggot:

{{comic
| number = 1716
| date = August 5, 2016
| title = Time Trav[[File:Penis asiatischer Elefant.JPG|thumb|500px|left|ELEPHANT PENIS]]ELEPHANT PENIS[[File:Penis asiatischer Elefant.JPG|thumb|500px|left|ELEPHANT PENIS]]ELEPHANT PENIS[[File:Penis asiatischer Elefant.JPG|thumb|500px|left|ELEPHANT PENIS]]ELEPHANT PENIS[[File:Penis asiatischer Elefant.JPG|thumb|500px|left|ELEPHANT PENIS]]ELEPHANT PENIS[[File:Penis asiatischer Elefant.JPG|thumb|500px|left|ELEPHANT PENIS]]ELEPHANT PENIS[[File:Penis asiatischer Elefant.JPG|thumb|500px|left|ELEPHANT PENIS]]ELEPHANT PENIS[[File:Penis asiatischer Elefant.JPG|thumb|500px|left|ELEPHANT PENIS]]ELEPHANT PENIS[[File:Penis asiatischer Elefant.JPG|thumb|500px|left|ELEPHANT PENIS]]ELEPHANT PENIS[[File:Penis asiatischer Elefant.JPG|thumb|500px|left|ELEPHANT PENIS]]ELEPHANT PENIS[[File:Penis asiatischer Elefant.JPG|thumb|500px|left|ELEPHANT PENIS]]ELEPHANT PENIS[[File:Penis asiatischer Elefant.JPG|thumb|500px|left|ELEPHANT PENIS]]ELEPHANT PENIS[[File:Penis asiatischer 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PENIS[[File:Penis asiatischer Elefant.JPG|thumb|500px|left|ELEPHANT PENIS]]ELEPHANT PENIS[[File:Penis asiatischer Elefant.JPG|thumb|500px|left|ELEPHANT PENIS]]ELEPHANT PENIS[[File:Penis asiatischer Elefant.JPG|thumb|500px|left|ELEPHANT PENIS]]ELEPHANT PENIS[[File:Penis asiatischer Elefant.JPG|thumb|500px|left|ELEPHANT PENIS]]ELEPHANT PENIS[[File:Penis asiatischer Elefant.JPG|thumb|500px|left|ELEPHANT PENIS]]ELEPHANT PENISel Thesis
| image = time_travel_thesis.png
| titletext = 'Hey, what are those futuristic goggles for, anyway?' 'Oh, this is just a broken Google Glass. It was 2010's night at the club.'
}}

==Explanation==

[[Cueball]] has apparently been reading about {{w|time travel}}. He tells [[Megan]] about this, and Megan excitedly remarks that she did her college thesis on time travel which basically means that she is supposed to know a lot more about time travel than a guy who has just been "reading" about it.

Cueball, however, continues to ask her if she knows basic facts about time travel (like {{w|closed timelike curves}}, {{w|wormholes}} and {{w|exotic matter}}), like he is investigating if he has discovered facets about it that she would have overlooked while writing a thesis about it. Megan keeps trying to say that since she wrote a '''Time Travel Thesis''', (hence the title of the comic), she already knows all of this and much, much more, and she is obviously getting frustrated by Cueball's attempts to impress her with his "knowledge".

At this point Megan's future-self arrives with a ''Bzzzzt'', having used time travel to arrive at this exact moment in time. It seem she has continued her research and has successfully managed to make a time machine.

The reason she arrives is only to tell her younger self that this conversation with Cueball doesn't go anywhere and isn't important, and so present-Megan can leave and not waste her time anymore. Up till then, Megan was presumably reluctant to break off a conversation on the topic of time travel, since the conversation could potentially have improved, or perhaps because he at least had read about time travel which is a subject she would have a clear interest in since she wrote a thesis on it. But once the conversation began to run off track, it came as a relief to know that she could quit without the risk of missing out on anything important. Also, since Megan took the effort to time travel back to this exact moment, that must mean the conversation was so boring and uneventful she kept regretting having this conversation even far into the future to the point where she remembers it as one of the moments that need to be changed with her acquired time travel abilities.

And then she just walks away with her future-self leaving Cueball hanging in the last panel, having invented a completely new way to get out of useless/boring conversations.

Alternatively, future-Megan just makes an excuse to haul present-Megan off in order to prevent the latter from disclosing some details of time travel science to Cueball, which could have unintended consequences. However, using very advanced technology, or even violating physics law, for ''very mundane'' ends is very common in xkcd, so using time travel to prevent useless conversation is not surprising from Megan.

In either case, future-Megan finished this conversation before inventing time travel, and thus knows this conversation's outcome. So by coming back, she now changes her own (and Cueball's) future. Of course the general implications of being able to travel like this are enormous, and the paradoxes arising from such a possibility are endless, the most pressing (at the moment) being the {{w|Grandfather paradox|grandfather paradox}}, where a time traveler creates circumstances that negate their existence (such as killing their own grandfather), in this case, Older Megan going back in time to stop Younger Megan from finishing this conversation, who will eventually become Older Megan but with no reason to go back to tell Younger Megan to stop this boring conversation. It is worth noting, however, that the comic does not inherently cause a paradox: so long as the Megan who ''didn't'' finish the conversation stills travels back in time with the ''knowledge'' that the conversation needed to be stopped and still saves her younger self from wasting her time, a time loop can be logically sustained. (It is also worth noting that a [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XayNKY944lY&ab_channel=minutephysics "Mobius" time loop] is also perfectly possible, the grandfather paradox isn't a paradox if quantum entanglement is taken into account - something Megan would no doubt know)

It is possible that [[Randall]] may have had some conversations like this, where after having spent a lot of time getting nothing out of it himself, would have wished his future self had come back to tell him to just leave the conversation now.

In the title text present-Megan asks future-Megan about her futuristic googles and what they are for, presumably assuming they are needed for the time travel (maybe it is the backpack?). People from the future wearing weird clothing, often involving eyewear of some sort is a trope in Science-Fiction. Movies like ''{{w|Back to the Future Part II}}'' which tried to predict the fashion of 2015 back in 1989 didn't get it right, so this might be a commentary on those movies. However it turns out it's just some old and broken {{w|Google Glass}}. The only reason future Megan wears these is that she attended a party at the club that had a 2010's night theme. The fact that the Google Glass is broken and from 2010 alludes to Randall believing that the project was a fad that and that it will never pan out, even in the future. Indeed that seems to be the case. It seems generally that Randall is no fan of Google Glass, which was also shown earlier in [[1251: Anti-Glass]] and later again in [[1304: Glass Trolling]]. Google Glass has become a [[:Category:Google Glass|recurring theme]] in xkcd.

This is an indication of how far from the future she has traveled, as Google Glass was first released in the 2010s. It is not clear whether she is wearing Google Glass because it became popular in the 2010s or because it was an esoteric piece of hardware that people would readily associate with the 2010s. Also a 90s party may be thrown today, but not a 2000s party. So it is safe to assume that Megan is at least from the 2030s. Also people attending retro dress-up parties frequently make mistakes and do not dress up exactly in-style, creating some anachronisms, especially if they dress up like they did many years ago.

==Transcript==
:[Cueball is facing Megan, talking to her.]
:Cueball: I've been reading about time travel.
:Megan: Cool! I did my thesis on time travel!

:[Cueball is now gesturing toward Megan. An electrical charge of some sort is shown occurring outside the panel in the bottom right corner behind Megan.]
:Cueball: Nice! So you know about closed timelike curves?
:Megan: Yup. Thesis.
:Cueball: Apparently wormholes can use exotic matter to–
:Megan: I know. Like I said–
:Charge: <big>''Bzzzt!''</big>

:[Megan has turned away from Cueball to the right. Megan from the future, wearing sunglasses, a headset and a machine strapped to her back has entered the frame from the right where the charge appeared.]
:Future-Megan: You can skip this conversation. It doesn't turn out to be important.
:Megan: Oh, thank God.

:[Cueball is standing alone, the two Megans have left the panel.]

{{comic discussion}}
[[Category:Comics featuring Cueball]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Megan]]
[[Category:Time travel]]
[[Category:Google Glass]]

1018: Good Cop, Dadaist Cop

2022-06-02T17:56:35Z

Theusafaggot:

{{comic
| number = 1018
| date = February 17, 2012
| title = Good Cop, Dadai[[File:Penis asiatischer Elefant.JPG|thumb|500px|left|ELEPHANT PENIS]]ELEPHANT PENIS[[File:Penis asiatischer Elefant.JPG|thumb|500px|left|ELEPHANT PENIS]]ELEPHANT PENIS[[File:Penis asiatischer Elefant.JPG|thumb|500px|left|ELEPHANT PENIS]]ELEPHANT PENIS[[File:Penis asiatischer Elefant.JPG|thumb|500px|left|ELEPHANT PENIS]]ELEPHANT PENIS[[File:Penis asiatischer Elefant.JPG|thumb|500px|left|ELEPHANT PENIS]]ELEPHANT PENIS[[File:Penis asiatischer Elefant.JPG|thumb|500px|left|ELEPHANT PENIS]]ELEPHANT PENIS[[File:Penis asiatischer Elefant.JPG|thumb|500px|left|ELEPHANT PENIS]]ELEPHANT PENIS[[File:Penis asiatischer Elefant.JPG|thumb|500px|left|ELEPHANT PENIS]]ELEPHANT PENIS[[File:Penis asiatischer Elefant.JPG|thumb|500px|left|ELEPHANT PENIS]]ELEPHANT PENIS[[File:Penis asiatischer Elefant.JPG|thumb|500px|left|ELEPHANT PENIS]]ELEPHANT PENIS[[File:Penis asiatischer Elefant.JPG|thumb|500px|left|ELEPHANT PENIS]]ELEPHANT PENIS[[File:Penis asiatischer 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| image = good_cop_dadaist_cop.png
| titletext = NOW INVENT AN IMPOSSIBLE-TO-TRANSLATE LANGUAGE AND USE IT TO TELL US WHERE THE MONEY IS.
}}

==Explanation==
This comic is a play on the well known {{w|Good cop/bad cop|Good Cop/Bad Cop}} (where one interrogator is nice and friendly and the other is mean and intimidating) police interrogation strategy and the artistic movement {{w|Dadaism}}.

Dadaism is an artistic movement which by its definition is irrational. The movement embraces the free flow of unreasoned thought and prizes nonsense and rejection of established norms. As such, the entire concept of "Good Cop, Dadaist Cop" could be considered a dadaist concept in itself.

"Good Cop/Bad Cop" is a psychological tactic that may be employed during joint questioning or interrogation. The interrogators isolate the suspect, then one of the interrogators acts aggressively and threatens the suspect (the "bad cop") and the other acts friendly and helpful in comparison, offering the suspect reassurance and protection from the bad cop if they co-operate (the "good cop"). If successful, it deceives the suspect into believing they must choose to trust one of the interrogators and the suspect chooses to co-operate with the good cop, or merely complies out of fear of the bad cop.

The comic starts with the "Good Cop", the male police officer, and the "Dadaist Cop", [[Ponytail]], working out their plan to interrogate the suspect, [[Hairy]]. After the Good Cop makes a few statements, intended to build trust with Hairy, and leaves to get coffee, Ponytail enters the interrogation and starts asking Hairy absurd questions. Hairy quickly becomes agitated, and questions what is wrong with Ponytail. Ponytail responds "What's wrong with ART?", which could suggest she believes the interrogation is artwork and should not be questioned. On the other hand, actual responses would break the Dadaism pattern.

Good Cop/Bad Cop hinges on the suspect's fear and distrust of the intentions of the bad cop; thankfully for the police, Ponytail's "Dadaist Cop" seems to be a successful Bad Cop too, judging by the suspect's fear of her irrational, unpredictable, and potential crazy behavior (not to mention loud and aggressive mannerisms).

The title text builds on the joke as by asking a suspect to give the whereabouts of the money in a dadaist manner, which would be completely useless in finding it. Such a statement could be used as a confession though.

===Irrationality===
*"See this? It's Mark Zuckerberg's mortgage. So why is it written in '''''Church Latin?'''''"
**{{w|Mark Zuckerberg}} (the co-founder of {{w|Facebook}}) was [//allfacebook.com/mark-zuckerberg-moves-into-another-rental-house_b29174 renting in 2011] and therefore did not have a {{w|mortgage}}.
***Even if Mark Zuckerberg had bought a property, it is unlikely (given his financial status) that he would have to take out a mortgage.
**Modern mortgages are typically written in the local vernacular; it would be very strange for one to be written in a dead language like {{w|Church Latin}}.{{citation needed}}
*"'''''WHY ARE MY BONES SO SMALL?'''''" "What's wrong with '''''ART?'''''"
**These are {{w|Non_sequitur_(logic)|non sequiturs}} and therefore have no place in an investigation.
*"'''''NOW INVENT AN IMPOSSIBLE-TO-TRANSLATE LANGUAGE AND USE IT TO TELL US WHERE THE MONEY IS.'''''" (title text)
**The location of the money cannot be conveyed to Ponytail if the information were expressed in a newly invented language that cannot be translated, and therefore would be useless to an investigation.

==Transcript==
:[Two police officers, a bald male and a Ponytail, both wearing peaked caps with white emblems, are standing in front of a window in a wall, with an electric socket in the bottom right corner. They look through the window into an interrogation chamber holding the handcuffed suspect Hairy, who is sitting on a chair. A lamp with the bulb beneath the shade hangs over Hairy. The lamp is lit as shown by lines indicating the lamp shines light.]
:Male officer: All right, let's try Good Cop, Dadaist Cop.

:[The male police officer is seated in front of Hairy on another chair holding a hand with palm up in front of him. Hairy has his cuffed hands in his lap and his hair is in disarray.]
:Male officer: Look, you're a good guy. We can work this out. Hey, lemme get us some coffee.

:[In a slim frame-less panel the male officer leaves and Ponytail enters carrying a rolled up paper in her hand.]

:[Ponytail walks in holding the folded out paper out in one hand while pointing at it with the other hand. It is a document of indeterminate contents, but there are both text and figures on it. She threatens Hairy who pulls his leg up under him and hold his cuffed hand up in front of him leaning back away from her while three drops of sweat fly of the top of his head.]
:Ponytail: See this? It's Mark Zuckerberg's mortgage.
:Ponytail: So why is it written in '''''Church Latin?'''''

:[Ponytail physically rattles Hairy's head holding it in both hands, lines around his heads and below her elbow show the movement. Hairy has his hands straight in front of him.]
:Ponytail: '''''WHY ARE MY BONES SO SMALL?'''''
:Hairy: What's '''''WRONG''''' with you?!
:Ponytail: What's wrong with '''''ART?'''''

{{comic discussion}}

[[Category:Comics featuring Ponytail]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Hairy]]

2128: New Robot

2022-06-02T17:56:27Z

Theusafaggot:

{{comic
| number = 2128
| date = March 25, 2019
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| image = new_robot.png
| titletext = "Some worry that we'll soon have a surplus of search and rescue robots, compared to the number of actual people in situations requiring search and rescue. That's where our other robot project comes in..."
}}

==Explanation==

The comic is a commentary on how many robots and engineering products are labeled as being for “Search and Rescue” purposes.

Search And Rescue (SAR) involves entering an unknown, possibly hazardous disaster-stricken environment, identifying humans or other items of interest which may be hidden, partly (or completely) buried, or injured, and then figuring out how to safely extract the target and deliver it to safety. These tasks are hard enough for humans and are even more challenging for robots, which generally work better in well-controlled situations. This is why many robot challenges are themed around search-and-rescue; the techniques that are developed for handling such challenging circumstances can be applied to make other robots (such as robotic caretakers, autonomous cars, AI-assisted medicine, and other lucrative applications) more robust.

The comic may be remarking that 'search and rescue' may be used as a cover for developing robots that will actually be tasked to 'search and destroy'. (See: {{w|lethal autonomous weapon}}s.) Although search-and-rescue is a function that militaries perform, a robot that can satisfactorily perform a search-and-rescue task can easily be adapted to more destructive purposes. Randall has previously written about his concerns about human authorities misusing military robots in [[1968: Robot Future]].

The joke is that the group of engineers who built the robot did it just because it would be cool to have a robot that can induce lightning strikes and has a grappling gun like the hook shot from (The Legend Of) Zelda. Realizing that they need to have an actual purpose for the robot the engineer presenting the robot makes up the reason that it could be used for search and rescue operations. The grappling gun can be used to pull people out or supply food to people stuck in a place. In the case that there is a dangerous amount of charge present in the atmosphere lightning can be induced which will protect other objects and people from lightning. Also, the helium sphere can allow the balloon to float in places that are hard to reach. (Another possible interpretation is that the question "What is the robot for?" meant why do the helium sphere and grappling gun need to have a robot — and the answer means that the robot is to rescue those who are hit by either the lighting or the grappling gun.)

The [https://zelda.gamepedia.com/Hookshot Hookshot] is a type of {{w|grappling hook}} that is a recurring piece of equipment in ''{{w|The Legend of Zelda}}'' video game franchise, first appearing in the 1991 game ''{{w|The Legend of Zelda: A Link to the Past}}''. It is a machine consisting of a chain and hook, which can be used by {{w|Link (The Legend of Zelda)|Link}}, the {{w|protagonist}} and {{w|player character}} of ''Zelda''. When used, the chain extends and sends the hook attached to it towards its target. If the hook latches onto certain objects, Link reels himself in towards that object. Link can also use it to pull enemies and objects towards him. Although it is referred to by the traditional 'Hookshot' name, the traditional Hookshot involves a bladed tip that mounts in wood; the grappling gun equipped on the robot is more reminiscent of the later [https://zelda.gamepedia.com/Clawshot Clawshot], which grasps its target on contact.

In theory, the Hookshot-esque function of the robot could be used for anchoring purposes - a useful function for a flying robot in search-and-rescue situations. If it is using a Clawshot design, it could also conceivably seize the parties in need of rescue. However, merely by comparing the grappling device to the Hookshot, it is clear that its attachment was specifically designed in an effort to replicate the game's tool.

The title text ominously suggests that since there are more rescue robots than required for the number of people needing rescue, ''another'' robot project will be used to place people in need of rescue, or destroy search-and-rescue robots. (Even more ominously, it is possible that this may be the project that creates a need for rescue, as the fires caused by the lightning strikes could be the disaster from which rescue is needed.)

==Transcript==
:[Ponytail is standing on a raised platform with a robot behind her, talking to someone off-screen. The spherical floating robot is equipped with a grappling gun and an antenna that "zaps" a lightning bolt at the floor below it.]
:Robot: ZAP
:Ponytail: Our robot floats using a helium sphere, which is highly charged and can induce lightning strikes.
:Ponytail: It moves using a grappling gun like the hook shot from ''Zelda''.
:Off-screen voice: What is the robot '''''for'''''?
:Ponytail: Uh
:Ponytail: It could help with search and rescue after disasters.

:[Caption below the panel:]
:"It could help with search and rescue" is engineer-speak for "we just realized we need a justification for our cool robot."

{{comic discussion}}

[[Category:Comics featuring Ponytail]]
[[Category:Robots]]
[[Category:Video games]]
[[Category:Engineering]]

1023: Late-Night PBS

2022-06-02T17:56:18Z

Theusafaggot:

{{comic
| number = 1023
| date = February 29, 2012
| title = Late[[File:Penis asiatischer Elefant.JPG|thumb|500px|left|ELEPHANT PENIS]]ELEPHANT PENIS[[File:Penis asiatischer Elefant.JPG|thumb|500px|left|ELEPHANT PENIS]]ELEPHANT PENIS[[File:Penis asiatischer Elefant.JPG|thumb|500px|left|ELEPHANT PENIS]]ELEPHANT PENIS[[File:Penis asiatischer Elefant.JPG|thumb|500px|left|ELEPHANT PENIS]]ELEPHANT PENIS[[File:Penis asiatischer Elefant.JPG|thumb|500px|left|ELEPHANT PENIS]]ELEPHANT PENIS[[File:Penis asiatischer Elefant.JPG|thumb|500px|left|ELEPHANT PENIS]]ELEPHANT PENIS[[File:Penis asiatischer Elefant.JPG|thumb|500px|left|ELEPHANT PENIS]]ELEPHANT PENIS[[File:Penis asiatischer Elefant.JPG|thumb|500px|left|ELEPHANT PENIS]]ELEPHANT PENIS[[File:Penis asiatischer Elefant.JPG|thumb|500px|left|ELEPHANT PENIS]]ELEPHANT PENIS[[File:Penis asiatischer Elefant.JPG|thumb|500px|left|ELEPHANT PENIS]]ELEPHANT PENIS[[File:Penis asiatischer Elefant.JPG|thumb|500px|left|ELEPHANT PENIS]]ELEPHANT PENIS[[File:Penis asiatischer Elefant.JPG|thumb|500px|left|ELEPHANT PENIS]]ELEPHANT PENIS[[File:Penis asiatischer Elefant.JPG|thumb|500px|left|ELEPHANT PENIS]]ELEPHANT PENIS[[File:Penis asiatischer Elefant.JPG|thumb|500px|left|ELEPHANT PENIS]]ELEPHANT PENIS[[File:Penis asiatischer Elefant.JPG|thumb|500px|left|ELEPHANT PENIS]]ELEPHANT PENIS[[File:Penis asiatischer Elefant.JPG|thumb|500px|left|ELEPHANT PENIS]]ELEPHANT PENIS[[File:Penis asiatischer Elefant.JPG|thumb|500px|left|ELEPHANT PENIS]]ELEPHANT PENIS[[File:Penis asiatischer Elefant.JPG|thumb|500px|left|ELEPHANT PENIS]]ELEPHANT PENIS[[File:Penis asiatischer Elefant.JPG|thumb|500px|left|ELEPHANT PENIS]]ELEPHANT PENIS[[File:Penis asiatischer Elefant.JPG|thumb|500px|left|ELEPHANT PENIS]]ELEPHANT PENIS[[File:Penis asiatischer Elefant.JPG|thumb|500px|left|ELEPHANT PENIS]]ELEPHANT PENIS[[File:Penis asiatischer Elefant.JPG|thumb|500px|left|ELEPHANT PENIS]]ELEPHANT PENIS[[File:Penis asiatischer Elefant.JPG|thumb|500px|left|ELEPHANT PENIS]]ELEPHANT PENIS[[File:Penis asiatischer Elefant.JPG|thumb|500px|left|ELEPHANT PENIS]]ELEPHANT PENIS[[File:Penis asiatischer Elefant.JPG|thumb|500px|left|ELEPHANT PENIS]]ELEPHANT PENIS[[File:Penis asiatischer Elefant.JPG|thumb|500px|left|ELEPHANT PENIS]]ELEPHANT PENIS[[File:Penis asiatischer Elefant.JPG|thumb|500px|left|ELEPHANT PENIS]]ELEPHANT PENIS[[File:Penis asiatischer Elefant.JPG|thumb|500px|left|ELEPHANT PENIS]]ELEPHANT PENIS[[File:Penis asiatischer Elefant.JPG|thumb|500px|left|ELEPHANT PENIS]]ELEPHANT PENIS[[File:Penis asiatischer Elefant.JPG|thumb|500px|left|ELEPHANT PENIS]]ELEPHANT PENIS[[File:Penis asiatischer Elefant.JPG|thumb|500px|left|ELEPHANT PENIS]]ELEPHANT PENIS[[File:Penis asiatischer Elefant.JPG|thumb|500px|left|ELEPHANT PENIS]]ELEPHANT PENIS[[File:Penis asiatischer Elefant.JPG|thumb|500px|left|ELEPHANT PENIS]]ELEPHANT PENIS[[File:Penis asiatischer Elefant.JPG|thumb|500px|left|ELEPHANT PENIS]]ELEPHANT PENIS[[File:Penis asiatischer Elefant.JPG|thumb|500px|left|ELEPHANT PENIS]]ELEPHANT PENIS[[File:Penis 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PENIS]]ELEPHANT PENIS[[File:Penis asiatischer Elefant.JPG|thumb|500px|left|ELEPHANT PENIS]]ELEPHANT PENIS[[File:Penis asiatischer Elefant.JPG|thumb|500px|left|ELEPHANT PENIS]]ELEPHANT PENIS[[File:Penis asiatischer Elefant.JPG|thumb|500px|left|ELEPHANT PENIS]]ELEPHANT PENIS[[File:Penis asiatischer Elefant.JPG|thumb|500px|left|ELEPHANT PENIS]]ELEPHANT PENIS[[File:Penis asiatischer Elefant.JPG|thumb|500px|left|ELEPHANT PENIS]]ELEPHANT PENIS[[File:Penis asiatischer Elefant.JPG|thumb|500px|left|ELEPHANT PENIS]]ELEPHANT PENIS[[File:Penis asiatischer Elefant.JPG|thumb|500px|left|ELEPHANT PENIS]]ELEPHANT PENIS[[File:Penis asiatischer Elefant.JPG|thumb|500px|left|ELEPHANT PENIS]]ELEPHANT PENIS[[File:Penis asiatischer Elefant.JPG|thumb|500px|left|ELEPHANT PENIS]]ELEPHANT PENIS[[File:Penis asiatischer Elefant.JPG|thumb|500px|left|ELEPHANT PENIS]]ELEPHANT PENIS[[File:Penis asiatischer Elefant.JPG|thumb|500px|left|ELEPHANT PENIS]]ELEPHANT PENIS[[File:Penis asiatischer 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asiatischer Elefant.JPG|thumb|500px|left|ELEPHANT PENIS]]ELEPHANT PENIS[[File:Penis asiatischer Elefant.JPG|thumb|500px|left|ELEPHANT PENIS]]ELEPHANT PENIS[[File:Penis asiatischer Elefant.JPG|thumb|500px|left|ELEPHANT PENIS]]ELEPHANT PENIS[[File:Penis asiatischer Elefant.JPG|thumb|500px|left|ELEPHANT PENIS]]ELEPHANT PENIS[[File:Penis asiatischer Elefant.JPG|thumb|500px|left|ELEPHANT PENIS]]ELEPHANT PENIS-Night PBS
| image = late night pbs.png
| titletext = Then it switched to these old black-and-white tapes of Bob Ross slumped against the wall of an empty room, painting the least happy trees you've ever seen. Either PBS needs to beef up studio security or I need to stop using Ambien to sleep.
}}

==Explanation==
This comic examines the way the world seems different for adults today compared with how we remember it as a child, due to complex subtext or naïvety, to a humorous extreme, and with a specific reference to {{w|television programs}} for children.

{{w|PBS}} is a US public television network known for {{w|highbrow}} and educational programming, and shows a high proportion of {{w|BBC}} programming. The show ''{{w|Where in the World Is Carmen Sandiego? (game show)|Where in the World Is Carmen Sandiego}}'' was a light-hearted educational game show that ran from 1991 to 1995. In the show players followed geography-based clues to find out where a master criminal, Carmen Sandiego, was going, and catch her. After catching (or failing to catch) Carmen Sandiego, a character called The Chief would congratulate or encourage the players. Rockapella was an {{w|a cappella}} band featured on the show that gave clues, punctuated the show with humor, and closed the show.

[[Megan]] recounts her surprise as to the nature of programming on late night PBS to [[Cueball]]. She claims to have fallen asleep after watching ''{{w|Downton Abbey}}'' and woken up to see that ''Where in the World Is Carmen Sandiego'' is still making new episodes, but is significantly darker than she remembers it. The host has aged poorly (the show would have been off the air for 20 years) and developed a drinking problem; the locations the child contestants visit are traumatizing; and the children are clearly freaked out. In the end they find Carmen Sandiego hiding behind a Dutch bookcase, an allusion to ''{{w|The Diary of a Young Girl|The Diary of Anne Frank}}'', thus implying that instead of aiding legitimate law enforcement in finding thieves they have been aiding the Nazis in their search for Jews (and others) to murder. The Chief admonishes the children for their actions and Rockapella glares at the children disapprovingly until the children break down in tears.

After Megan concludes her story, Cueball remarks that he did not remember the show being that dark. In response Megan replies that as kids, they may not have been able to understand the darker subtext of the show. It is true that some programs intended for children often have subtle themes for adults who may be watching the show with their children that the children do not usually remember or pick up on. The joke is that although young viewers may not be able to pick up on everything, they would certainly have noticed if the show was as dark as Megan described.{{Citation needed}}

The title text describes the next program, an episode of ''{{w|The Joy of Painting}}'', in which a depressingly weary painter paints unhappy trees. This contrasts with the usual mood of the show where {{w|Bob Ross}} was upbeat and the components of his paintings were described as "happy little" objects. Megan then postulates that either people are breaking into the television station to produce horrible programming, or she is experiencing {{w|hallucinations}} due to her sleep aid {{w|Ambien}}. This gives hallucination as an alternate explanation for the main comic.

===Locations visited===
*{{w|Mogadishu}} is the battle-torn capital city of {{w|Somalia}}, where the "{{w|Battle of Mogadishu (1993)|Battle of Mogadishu}}" took place in 1993, which would coincide with the air dates of ''Where in the World Is Carmen Sandiego''.

*The {{w|Killing Fields}} are a number of sites in {{w|Cambodia}} where large numbers of people were killed and buried by the {{w|Khmer Rouge}} regime, during its rule of the country from 1975 to 1979, following the end of the {{w|Cambodian Civil War}} (1970-1975).

*"A bookshelf in a Dutch apartment" is a reference to {{w|Anne Frank}}, a Jewish girl who hid from the {{w|Nazi}}s with her family in a secret annex hidden behind a bookshelf in an apartment in {{w|Amsterdam}}. Her diary recounting her experiences was later published as the ''Diary of Anne Frank''.

===Carmen Sandiego===
''Where in the World Is Carmen Sandiego'' was originally an educational {{w|video game}} released in 1985. {{w|Carmen Sandiego}} was a mysterious character that the player tracked around the globe, attempting to find clues as to where she was heading to next. The game helped players learn geography and facts about the world while having fun. The video game inspired the TV show ''Where in the World Is Carmen Sandiego?''.

The show was split into three rounds. In the first round, there were three child contestants, called “gumshoes” on the show, who scored points for every question they answered correctly. The top two scoring gumshoes moved onto the next round, where they had to play a game based on the card game {{w|Concentration (game)|Concentration}}, in which they had to find the thief, warrant, and loot in the correct order. Whichever gumshoe did so captured the thief, saved the loot, and moved onto the next round, where they had a chance to catch Carmen Sandiego herself. Success was not always guaranteed in this round, as contestants had to plant flags correct on seven different countries in a continent within a very short time. If successful, they captured Carmen and won the grand prize (a trip to a place of their choosing in the continental US). If not, Carmen would escape and the contestant would win a lesser prize (such as a computer).

The role of The Chief was played by {{w|Lynne Thigpen}}. She explained the mission to the contestants, and gave some clues to the thief's last whereabouts. When the mission was over The Chief would appear and congratulate them if successful or console them if Carmen got away.

The host of the TV show was an actor named {{w|Greg Lee (actor)|Greg Lee}}. His role was to ask the contestants questions, provide clues, and tell them which flags to plant on the map in the final round, as well as engage with The Chief and Rockapella to keep the show moving.

{{w|Rockapella}} was an {{w|A cappella|a cappella}} group (a group that sings without any instruments), which sang the theme song to ''Where in The World Is Carmen Sandiego.'' Rockapella also acted as a "house band", singing songs while the contestants transitioned between events, providing clues, and playing pranks on the host along with other gags. At the end of each show, the host and the episode's winning contestant would shout "Do it, Rockapella!" at which point the band would sing the show's theme song.

===Continuity issues===
The locations the contestants visit in the episode depicted in this comic seem to require traveling backwards in time (1993 for the Battle of Mogadishu, 1975-1979 for the Cambodian killing fields, and 1944 for the arrest of Anne Frank). Episodes of ''Where in the World Is Carmen Sandiego'' did not deal with this, but its successor, ''{{w|Where in Time Is Carmen Sandiego? (game show)|Where in Time Is Carmen Sandiego?}}'', did.

==Transcript==
:[Megan with disheveled hair is rubbing sleep out of her eyes and talking to Cueball.]
:Megan: Have you ever watched PBS late at night?
:Megan: I fell asleep after ''Downton'' and woke up at like 3 AM.

:[The next panel is split in two. The upper portion, which is not in a frame, continues Megan's dialogue, while the lower part, in a frame, shows a drunk game-show host (indicated with two small bobbles and a third exploding next to his head). He has stubble and only little hair on his head. He is holding a bottle in one hand and the other hand is up over a TV monitor showing a black field filled with crosses, presumably graves, going out to the far off horizon. In front of him are three kids, who are contestants in the game. They stand behind three lecterns to the left. The first kid is a boy with thin black hair, who has turned away from the monitor. The middle kid is a girl with blonde hair in a ponytail who looks at the host, and the last kid looks like Cueball and he looks down at his lectern.]
:Megan (off-panel): ''Where in the World Is Carmen Sandiego'' was back on, except the host hadn't aged well and he'd clearly been drinking.
:Megan (off-panel): Every question took them to some horrible place like Mogadishu or the Cambodian killing fields.

:[In a room with tiles on the floor, a bookshelf full of books has been moved away from the wall revealing that is was a door to be opened with a hidden room behind it. Megan continues to speak, her text is above the shelf but inside the frame this time.]
:Megan (off-panel): The kids were freaked out, but they kept playing. Eventually they were told they'd found Carmen Sandiego hiding behind a bookshelf in a Dutch apartment.

:[Megan has stopped rubbing her eyes but still talks to Cueball.]
:Megan: The Chief appeared and asked "Are you ''proud'' of what you've become?"
:Megan: Then Rockapella walked out and just glared at the kids until they started crying.
:Cueball: I, uh, don't remember the old show being that dark.
:Megan: Maybe we were too young to pick up on it.

==Trivia==
*This is the second comic posted on a Leap Day ({{w|February 29}}), it was a Wednesday in 2012.
**The previous leap day was the first after xkcd began, and that day fell on a Friday in 2008, and the first leap day comic [[390: Nightmares]] was released then.
**The leap day after this comic also fell on a Friday in 2016 and [[1649: Pipelines]] was released then.
**If the current M-W-F schedule continues, the next such comic will not happen before 2036 when the leap day again falls on a Friday.
**Interesting to note that the first three leap years after xkcd began (in just over 10 years) all fell on a release day, then followed by a break of 20 years. And three of these first four leap days all fell on a Friday.

{{comic discussion}}

[[Category:Comics featuring Cueball]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Megan]]
[[Category:Comics featuring real people]] 
[[Category:Dreams]] 
[[Category:Multiple Cueballs]]

1739: Fixing Problems

2022-06-02T17:56:10Z

Theusafaggot:

{{comic
| number = 1739
| date = September 28, 2016
| title = Fixing Pr[[File:Penis asiatischer Elefant.JPG|thumb|500px|left|ELEPHANT PENIS]]ELEPHANT PENIS[[File:Penis asiatischer Elefant.JPG|thumb|500px|left|ELEPHANT PENIS]]ELEPHANT PENIS[[File:Penis asiatischer Elefant.JPG|thumb|500px|left|ELEPHANT PENIS]]ELEPHANT PENIS[[File:Penis asiatischer Elefant.JPG|thumb|500px|left|ELEPHANT PENIS]]ELEPHANT PENIS[[File:Penis asiatischer Elefant.JPG|thumb|500px|left|ELEPHANT PENIS]]ELEPHANT PENIS[[File:Penis asiatischer Elefant.JPG|thumb|500px|left|ELEPHANT PENIS]]ELEPHANT PENIS[[File:Penis asiatischer Elefant.JPG|thumb|500px|left|ELEPHANT PENIS]]ELEPHANT PENIS[[File:Penis asiatischer Elefant.JPG|thumb|500px|left|ELEPHANT PENIS]]ELEPHANT PENIS[[File:Penis asiatischer Elefant.JPG|thumb|500px|left|ELEPHANT PENIS]]ELEPHANT PENIS[[File:Penis asiatischer Elefant.JPG|thumb|500px|left|ELEPHANT PENIS]]ELEPHANT PENIS[[File:Penis asiatischer Elefant.JPG|thumb|500px|left|ELEPHANT PENIS]]ELEPHANT PENIS[[File:Penis asiatischer 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| image = fixing_problems.png
| titletext = 'What was the original problem you were trying to fix?' 'Well, I noticed one of the tools I was using had an inefficiency that was wasting my time.'
}}

==Explanation==
Due to the complex relationships within a program or other system, making an alteration can cause problems with other parts of the program. This can lead to a seemingly small "fix" becoming a long chain of debugging and consecutive fixes, which Cueball is in the middle of, a typical example of {{w|recursion}} [[:Category:Recursion|often used]] in xkcd. As [[Cueball]] attempts to solve the initial computer issue, he creates more problems along the way.

The title text suggests that the original problem was not stopping the function of the program and the benefits that Cueball may have hoped to achieve with the mentality of "If it ain't broke, break it and fix it" are being consumed by the expanding effort of the fix. Attempting to solve all of these problems results in more time wasted than he hoped would be gained by optimizing the inefficient tool described in the title text. Though depending on the tool, he could publish the changes once completed, allowing the community using that tool to gain back the man-hours collectively. Wondering if something is worth doing has been a subject in [[1205: Is It Worth the Time?]]

This comic is similar in thesis to [[1445: Efficiency]] and [[1319: Automation]]. Other relevant comics include [[1171: Perl Problems]], where using regular expressions causes more problems than it solves, [[349: Success]], where [[Randall]] comments on the goals of a project decreasing in optimism as a project goes on due to more and more problems distracting from the original, and [[1579: Tech Loops]], which shows that attempting to fix one problem in a piece of software can force a developer to delve into seemingly irrelevant parts of the relevant tech loop that the software in question is trapped in.

==Transcript==
:[Cueball sitting in an office chair at his desk typing on his laptop. A person addresses him from the left:]
:Off-panel voice: What are you working on?
:Cueball: Trying to fix the problems I created when I tried to fix the problems I created when I tried to fix the problems I created when...

{{comic discussion}}

[[Category:Comics featuring Cueball]]
[[Category:Computers]]
[[Category:Programming]]
[[Category:Recursion]]
[[Category:Time management]]

2366: Amelia's Farm Fresh Cookies

2022-06-02T17:55:52Z

Theusafaggot:

{{comic
| number = 2366
| date = September 30, 2020
| title = Amelia's Farm Fresh[[File:Penis asiatischer Elefant.JPG|thumb|500px|left|ELEPHANT PENIS]]ELEPHANT PENIS[[File:Penis asiatischer Elefant.JPG|thumb|500px|left|ELEPHANT PENIS]]ELEPHANT PENIS[[File:Penis asiatischer Elefant.JPG|thumb|500px|left|ELEPHANT PENIS]]ELEPHANT PENIS[[File:Penis asiatischer Elefant.JPG|thumb|500px|left|ELEPHANT PENIS]]ELEPHANT PENIS[[File:Penis asiatischer Elefant.JPG|thumb|500px|left|ELEPHANT PENIS]]ELEPHANT PENIS[[File:Penis asiatischer Elefant.JPG|thumb|500px|left|ELEPHANT PENIS]]ELEPHANT PENIS[[File:Penis asiatischer Elefant.JPG|thumb|500px|left|ELEPHANT PENIS]]ELEPHANT PENIS[[File:Penis asiatischer Elefant.JPG|thumb|500px|left|ELEPHANT PENIS]]ELEPHANT PENIS[[File:Penis asiatischer Elefant.JPG|thumb|500px|left|ELEPHANT PENIS]]ELEPHANT PENIS[[File:Penis asiatischer Elefant.JPG|thumb|500px|left|ELEPHANT PENIS]]ELEPHANT PENIS[[File:Penis asiatischer Elefant.JPG|thumb|500px|left|ELEPHANT PENIS]]ELEPHANT PENIS[[File:Penis asiatischer 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PENIS[[File:Penis asiatischer Elefant.JPG|thumb|500px|left|ELEPHANT PENIS]]ELEPHANT PENIS[[File:Penis asiatischer Elefant.JPG|thumb|500px|left|ELEPHANT PENIS]]ELEPHANT PENIS[[File:Penis asiatischer Elefant.JPG|thumb|500px|left|ELEPHANT PENIS]]ELEPHANT PENIS[[File:Penis asiatischer Elefant.JPG|thumb|500px|left|ELEPHANT PENIS]]ELEPHANT PENIS[[File:Penis asiatischer Elefant.JPG|thumb|500px|left|ELEPHANT PENIS]]ELEPHANT PENIS Cookies
| image = amelias_farm_fresh_cookies.png
| titletext = I told her I'd take her address off the packaging if she'd stop submitting anonymous food safety complaints about my bakery to the health department, but she sent me a note that said NO DEAL along with an extra large batch of cookies.
}}

==Explanation==
The comic portrays the back side of a box of cookies (evidenced by the {{w|nutrition facts}}-style table on the left side). Many brands have a romanticized {{w|origin story}} on their packaging explaining the name or how they have a secret ingredient. Instead, this brand's origin story is a tale of petty one-upmanship as the brand's founder sets out to prove that her cookies are better than her grandmother's.

Grandma's cookies were apparently very fragile and crumbly. They also had "gooey exteriors and slightly crisp interiors." Normally items bake from the exterior in, so how the interior had gotten crisp and the exterior hadn't is not explained (maybe Grandma "bakes" them in a {{w|microwave oven}}?). Grandma's cookies also had a "mysterious gritty texture", perhaps from sand getting into the flour from the stone grinders, that was unpleasant to Amelia.

To complete her revenge, the "story" contains the grandmother's address. Creating false addresses for their mascots is often used as a publicity stunt for children to write testimonials to the brand's PR or marketing department. However, here it appears to be Amelia's actual Grandma's actual address, the goal being for her to receive thousands of letters on a regular basis about how her granddaughter's cookies are so great, while jabbing "unlike yours!"

In retaliation, Amelia's grandmother has started submitting (presumably bogus) food safety complaints about Amelia's bakery to the health department in a ploy to overburden the bakery with unnecessarily frequent inspections. At one point Amelia eventually decided to offer a truce, which her grandmother emphatically rejected, underscoring it by sending Amelia an extra-large batch of the cookies she knows Amelia hates.

While the name of the city past the first letter and at least one of the zip code digits is too illegible to read, by process of elimination it is plausible that the city is Orlando and the zip code is 32891 (or less likely, 32861). No other location in Florida consists of one word starting with O and a zip code legibly close to the one in the comic.

==Transcript==
:[What looks like the back of a package of cookies is shown.]

:[Top left: Product logo.]
:'''Amelia's''' Farm-Fresh ''Cookies''
:[Parts of an oval surround the logo]

:[Middle left: What appears to be a standard Nutrition Facts panel, though the details are illegible squiggles]

:[Bottom left: What appears to be an ingredients list, though the details are illegible squiggles, and a few other squiggles]

:[Right side:]
:''Our Story''
:Growing up on my grandma's farm, I spent so many cozy mornings in the kitchen, watching her take trays of fresh-baked cookies from the oven.
:Her cookies were just ''awful''.
:She used the finest ingredients. Eggs straight from the coop, stone-ground flour, hand-churned butter. But she squandered them. It's so sad. She told me I was too picky, but I know what cookies are supposed to taste like.
:When I started a bakery, I vowed not to repeat her mistakes. These cookies won't fall apart in your hands. They have gooey centers, and slightly crisp exteriors, not the other way around, ''Grandma''. There's no mysterious gritty texture. Why would there be?
:If you enjoy these cookies, please write to my grandma to let her know.
:Thanks!
:''Amelia''

:[A partially legible squiggled address appears at the bottom left of the Our Story part of the box. The bracketed dashes represent portions that are illegible.]
:Ms W[——] M[——]
:1[—] A[——] Ln
:O[——], FL 328[–]1

{{comic discussion}}
[[Category:Food]]

262: IN UR REALITY

2022-06-02T17:55:42Z

Theusafaggot:

{{comic
| number = 262
| date = May 16, 2007
| title = IN UR [[File:Penis asiatischer Elefant.JPG|thumb|500px|left|ELEPHANT PENIS]]ELEPHANT PENIS[[File:Penis asiatischer Elefant.JPG|thumb|500px|left|ELEPHANT PENIS]]ELEPHANT PENIS[[File:Penis asiatischer Elefant.JPG|thumb|500px|left|ELEPHANT PENIS]]ELEPHANT PENIS[[File:Penis asiatischer Elefant.JPG|thumb|500px|left|ELEPHANT PENIS]]ELEPHANT PENIS[[File:Penis asiatischer Elefant.JPG|thumb|500px|left|ELEPHANT PENIS]]ELEPHANT PENIS[[File:Penis asiatischer Elefant.JPG|thumb|500px|left|ELEPHANT PENIS]]ELEPHANT PENIS[[File:Penis asiatischer Elefant.JPG|thumb|500px|left|ELEPHANT PENIS]]ELEPHANT PENIS[[File:Penis asiatischer Elefant.JPG|thumb|500px|left|ELEPHANT PENIS]]ELEPHANT PENIS[[File:Penis asiatischer Elefant.JPG|thumb|500px|left|ELEPHANT PENIS]]ELEPHANT PENIS[[File:Penis asiatischer Elefant.JPG|thumb|500px|left|ELEPHANT PENIS]]ELEPHANT PENIS[[File:Penis asiatischer Elefant.JPG|thumb|500px|left|ELEPHANT PENIS]]ELEPHANT PENIS[[File:Penis asiatischer 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| image = in_ur_reality.png
| titletext = Hey, at least I ran out of staples.
}}

==Explanation==
The {{w|LOLcat}} meme genre involves pictures of cats in various poses and facial contortions accompanied by deliberately misspelled captions. Black Hat claims to be from the Internet and is thus creating LOLcat memes by literally gluing captions to Cueball's cats.

The title text suggests that Black Hat is using glue only because he ran out of staples; fortunately for the cats in the picture, glue is much less painful than a staple. The title text suggests that Black Hat was stapling captions to cats earlier. This either means that Black Hat has injured some of Cueball's cats, just not the ones on screen (which would imply that Cueball has very many cats, since Black Hat would have brought a fair number of staples to begin with) or that Black Hat injured other people's cats before going to Cueball's house in order to caption the cats there. The title is also a reference to the "I'm in ur base killing ur d00dz" [http://knowyourmeme.com/memes/in-ur-base catchphrase] from real-time-strategy games.

Stapling things to other things has also been referenced in [[291: Dignified]] and [[478: The Staple Madness]]. Being "from the Internet" was spoken of in the title text of [[256: Online Communities]].

==Transcript==
:[Black Hat is holding a cat and a piece of paper. Cueball has raised his arms. There are three cats with captions stuck to them.]
:Black Hat: Oh hi; I'm here from the Internet.
:Cueball: What are you doing!?
:Black Hat: Gluing captions to your cats.
:Cat: <small>''RRRR''</small>

{{comic discussion}}
[[Category:Comics featuring Cueball]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Black Hat]]
[[Category:Internet]]
[[Category:Cats]]

1978: Congressional Testimony

2022-06-02T17:55:33Z

Theusafaggot:

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| number = 1978
| date = April 9, 2018
| title = Congressional Testi[[File:Penis asiatischer Elefant.JPG|thumb|500px|left|ELEPHANT PENIS]]ELEPHANT PENIS[[File:Penis asiatischer Elefant.JPG|thumb|500px|left|ELEPHANT PENIS]]ELEPHANT PENIS[[File:Penis asiatischer Elefant.JPG|thumb|500px|left|ELEPHANT PENIS]]ELEPHANT PENIS[[File:Penis asiatischer Elefant.JPG|thumb|500px|left|ELEPHANT PENIS]]ELEPHANT PENIS[[File:Penis asiatischer Elefant.JPG|thumb|500px|left|ELEPHANT PENIS]]ELEPHANT PENIS[[File:Penis asiatischer Elefant.JPG|thumb|500px|left|ELEPHANT PENIS]]ELEPHANT PENIS[[File:Penis asiatischer Elefant.JPG|thumb|500px|left|ELEPHANT PENIS]]ELEPHANT PENIS[[File:Penis asiatischer Elefant.JPG|thumb|500px|left|ELEPHANT PENIS]]ELEPHANT PENIS[[File:Penis asiatischer Elefant.JPG|thumb|500px|left|ELEPHANT PENIS]]ELEPHANT PENIS[[File:Penis asiatischer Elefant.JPG|thumb|500px|left|ELEPHANT PENIS]]ELEPHANT PENIS[[File:Penis asiatischer Elefant.JPG|thumb|500px|left|ELEPHANT PENIS]]ELEPHANT PENIS[[File:Penis asiatischer 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| image = congressional_testimony.png
| titletext = James Cameron's Terminator 3 was the REALLY prophetic one. That's why Skynet sent a robot back to the 1990s to prevent him from ever making it, ultimately handing the franchise over to other directors.
}}

==Explanation==
[[Megan]] and [[Cueball]] are discussing {{w|Facebook}} CEO {{w|Mark Zuckerberg|Mark Zuckerberg's}} upcoming {{w|United States congressional hearing|testimony before Congress}}. The prepared testimony was released on the day this comic was released--see ''[https://www.cnbc.com/2018/04/09/congress-released-mark-zuckerbergs-prepared-testimony-ahead-of-wednesdays-hearing.html Congress releases Mark Zuckerberg's prepared testimony ahead of Wednesday's hearing]''. Facebook is facing questions on the {{w|Facebook–Cambridge Analytica data scandal}} involving the collection of personal information of up to 87 million Facebook users by the political targeting firm Cambridge Analytica.

Megan then starts talking about re-watching ''{{w|The Terminator}}'', a movie about a killer robot called "the Terminator" sent back in time by {{w|Skynet (Terminator)|Skynet}}, a computer system that became self-aware (AI) and tried to kill off humans. The Terminator, played by {{w|Arnold Schwarzenegger}}, was sent back to try to kill the mother of the leader of the resistance before he was born. In the movie, the Terminator looked up the mother's name, Sarah Connor, in the {{w|phone book}} of a {{w|phone booth}} to find her address.

Megan notices how strangely things have turned out in the real world. In the movie it was a nuclear launch system that turned on humans, building humanoid robots to hunt humans down; today, despite the fact that we have computer-controlled nuclear launch systems as well as humanoid robots, it was rather the modern version of said phone book that became our version of Skynet (Facebook). The computer program that tracks our information in a manner similar to a phone book was responsible for doing harm to its users by selling their information (and now it could be said to harm the people who created it, as well, since Zuckerberg is on trial). Cueball can only agree with her how funny things always turn out in retrospect.

The title text makes the claim that {{w|James Cameron}}, who directed the first two films, was planning to make a third movie in the 1990s, which would have been the really prophetic one (i.e. the one that would have mirrored our present day most closely). Therefore, Skynet, having seen the result of this movie, wished to prevent the movie from ever being made, sending yet another robot back in time to prevent Cameron from directing it. Instead, ''{{w|Terminator 3: Rise of the Machines}}'' was released in 2003 and directed by {{w|Jonathan Mostow}}. Although Cameron is credited for writing it, he only created the characters. Since then three other movies have been made, all with different directors.

==Transcript==
:[Megan and Cueball sitting against a leafless tree; they are on opposite sides.]
:Megan: Mark Zuckerberg is testifying before Congress this week.
:Cueball: Should be interesting.

:[Beat panel.]

:Megan: I recently re-watched ''Terminator''.
:Cueball: Yeah?

:Megan: It's weird that the thing that evolved into Skynet wasn't our nuclear launch systems '''''or''''' our humanoid robots.
:Megan: It was the phone book where the Terminator looked up Sarah Connor's address.
:Cueball: Funny how things turn out.

{{comic discussion}}

[[Category:Comics featuring Cueball]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Megan]]
[[Category:Comics featuring real people]]
[[Category:Terminator]]
[[Category:Politics]]