explain xkcd - User contributions [en]

1975: Right Click

2023-11-03T12:02:09Z

Uranium233: Added an explanation for Harm

{{comic
| number = 1975
| date = April 1, 2018
| title = Right Click
| image = right_click.png
| titletext = Right-click or long press (where supported) to save!
}}
{{TOC}}
*To experience the interactivity of the game, visit the {{xkcd|1975|original comic}}.

==Explanation==
{{incomplete|Created by A FIRST BASEMAN NAMED NATURALLY. Lots of explanations and menus missing. Do NOT right click this tag too soon.}}
This was the eighth [[:Category:April fools' comics|April fools' comic]] released by [[Randall]]. The previous April Fool's comic was not from the year before as there was no such comic [[1818:_Rayleigh_Scattering#No_April_Fools.27_Day_comic_in_2017|released in 2017]]. Instead, the previous one was [[1663: Garden]], scheduled for released Friday, April 1st, 2016, but in the end released on [[1663:_Garden#Monday_4th_of_April_release|Monday April 4th]] 2016. The next was [[2131: Emojidome]] released on Monday, April 1st, 2019.

This comic was released on April 1 even though that was [[:Category:Sunday comics|a Sunday]] (only the fourth comic to be released on a Sunday). But it was only due to the April Fool joke, as it did replace the comic that would have been scheduled for Monday, April 2nd. The next comic, [[1976: Friendly Questions]], was first released on Wednesday, April 4th.

At first, the comic seems like the most simplistic xkcd comic possible - [[Cueball]] standing and doing nothing. The "editor's note" tells you to save a copy of the image to "view the full comic".

To save an image from a browser most people would right-click on it (or long-click in mobile devices) which normally leads to a "context menu" allowing several actions related to the image, including saving/downloading. This is what you are encouraged to do by the editorial note as well as by the comic name and title text. However, the context menu opened is not the default context menu of the browser but an elaborate context menu containing many nonsensical options.

At first it also seems impossible to save the image using that menu. However, after exploring the context menu you can find an "easter egg" in one of two different places (see below) which unlocks the save option. This save option gives you a different [https://xkcd.com/1975/v6xso1_right_click_save.png image] than the one you see, which can be thought of as "the full comic" although the meat of the comic is actually in the interactive context menu itself. Note that "cheating" by disabling JavaScript and other methods that allow you to directly save the image won't get you that "full comic" image.

This comic pokes fun at how hard it can be to save an image or to just navigate context menus in some computer programs. The "easter egg hunt" might be related to the fact the comic was released during Easter (which fell on April fool's in 2018). It might also be related to the movie "Ready Player One" which was recently released when the comic was released. In the movie, based on the book by Cline, finding an "easter egg" in a VR world was a central plot point.

The title is reminiscent of one of the first interactive comics [[1110: Click and Drag]], where the title explains what the user should do to experience it. However, that was not a fools' day comic.

The comic uses {{w|JavaScript}} and {{w|HTML5}} to override the standard context menu. Since modern browsers use the same features to integrate Add-ons into that menu, the behavior may be different depending on the browser environment. Browsers with JavaScript disabled, either totally or by using {{w|NoScript}}, won't access the functionality of the comic, but of course can easily save the image (not "the full version" but the image that is seen initially).

The manipulated context menu is described [[#Context menu|below]].

==Context menu==

===Main Context Menu===
{| border =1 width=100% cellpadding=5 class="wikitable"
! # !! Menu Item !! Explanation !! Sub-Menu Items
|-
!1
| '''Save'''
| Only appears after getting one of the two easter eggs that can be found in the menu - in the games ADVENT.EXE and Mornington Crescent (see their explanations below).
| Save image> Views the image the first time you click, then downloads this image on every visit after that. [https://xkcd.com/1975/v6xso1_right_click_save.png]. The image includes a spheroid object near the top right-hand corner which appears to exhibit red shift and green shift, suggesting that it is rotating rapidly.

|-
! 2
| '''File'''
| Normal submenu
|Close: Closes menu, does nothing.
Open: A:\, C:\, / (See more [[#Filesystems Menu|below]])

Find: Where, When, How, (grayed out) What, (grayed out) Why, Who.

'Where' leads to four options. The first, 'computer', has two options ('folder' and 'menus'), which link back to the 'find' and right-click menus, respectively. "Narnia" leads to a link to the comic [[665: Prudence]] as well as to a grey comment about how it's weird that "they" have to die to go back to Narnia.
"Canada" and "America" lead to the same set of bizarre menus (America leads into Canada's menu), which then give the options 'Upper' and 'Lower', ultimately leading to a drive-through and hockey, respectively.

'When' leads to a description of Siri entering someone's home, and the menu can be followed to reveal several further events from 'earlier' in the day. The last one ('a bottle of jack and a toothbrush') is likely a reference to the song 'Tik Tok' by Kesha.

'How' simply leads to an exclamation of 'How!?'.

'What' is grayed out.

'Why' links to [http://itisamystery.com/], ''technically'' answering the question of "Why?"

'Who' leads to a menu version of the Abbot and Costello "Who's on First?" routine, which eventually links to a [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kTcRRaXV-fg&feature=youtu.be youtube video] of the routine. As of April 4th, a second submenu has been added, which contains Slappy and Skippy's "Who's on Stage?" parody of the previous routine, which also eventually leads to its [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Mdqv5xIsFLM youtube video].

Backup: Causes the area around the comic to flash red 9 times, with high-pitch sounds reminiscent of a truck backing up. Reminiscent of the Sinclair Spectrum SAVE to tape command, which would flash the border and modulate the speaker.

Save: Only available after the save menu is unlocked after one of the two Easter Eggs is found, allows a download of a bonus comic, same as clicking the save option from the main menu.

|-
! 3
| '''Edit'''
| Enables a mode allowing the user to draw on the webpage. You can draw multiple scribbles, however, they will automatically connect together. Pressing Esc asks "Aw, that looks nice though. Really delete?" and the page returns to normal if OK is clicked.
| None
|-
! 4
| '''System'''
| Normal submenu
|Shut Down> Changes the only menu option to "Power on", then once that is used, the system returns to normal.

/ (See [[#Table - Filesystems Menu|below]])
|-
! 5
| '''View'''
| Normal submenu
|Cascade>Links to [http://wiki.xkcd.com/geohashing/Mt._St._Helens,_Washington]

Tile> Links to [[245: Floor Tiles]]

Minimize> Changes pointer to a smaller pointer.

Full Screen> Enters full screen.
|-
! 6
| '''Utilities'''
| Normal submenu
|Park drives> Nothing.

Check space usage> (cannot click) Space usage: -Dark matter -Hydrogen -Helium -Scattered clumps of heavier elements -Stars -Rocks -Some space probes -Earth

Spell check> English (links to [[1069: Alphabet]]) and Colors (links to [https://blog.xkcd.com/2010/05/03/color-survey-results/])

Train AI> links to [[1838: Machine Learning]]

Identify song> opens a long word-by-word menu for song lyrics; it's actually a menu-ised version of [[851: Na]].

Advanced> several Unix commands, all absurd (or dangerous) for some reason:
* <code>apt-get install /dev/null</code>: <code>apt-get</code> is the standard package manager used in Debian-derived Linux distributions (including Ubuntu); it is normally used to install software; <code>/dev/null</code> is the "bit-bucket" device on any Unix system, which can be used as a dummy output file to discard output or as a dummy empty input file. This command would attempt to install <code>/dev/null</code> (which is a device, not a package!) or, more correctly, would try to install a package reading its data from <code>/dev/null</code> (if <code>apt-get</code> is given a file name it tries to interpret it as a .deb package), which is obviously impossible.
* <code>brew install apt-get</code>: <code>brew</code> is a third-party package manager for macOS; it is generally used to install "missing" open-source utilities on a macOS system; the command is attempting to install the aforementioned <code>apt-get</code>, which is both impossible (<code>apt-get</code> doesn't run on macOS) and hilariously recursive (did you install a package manager - brew - to install another one?). Even if this were possible, the package would have been called <code>apt</code>, as apt-get is only one of the commands in the package manager.
* <code>/usr/local/bin/wine xen-hypervisor.exe</code>: <code>wine</code> is a compatibility layer used to run Windows executables on Linux (and on macOS); the fact that it is in <code>/usr/local</code> hints that it has been manually compiled on this machine; Xen is a Linux-based hypervisor, i.e. a software used to run and manage virtual machines over a Linux host, but the .exe suffix here hints that it is a Windows executable. The command would try to launch a Windows build of a Linux-based virtual machine manager on a Unix machine through a Windows emulation layer (wine).
* <code>source .bash_history</code>: the <code>source</code> shell command reads the file that is given as argument and executes each of its rows as a command in the current shell, roughly as if you typed them in; <code>.bash_history</code> (located in the user home directory) is the file where the bash shell saves the history of the commands that have been run. This command would re-run all the commands that have been typed in the shell.
* <code>rm -rf $DIRECTROY/*</code>: <code>rm -rf</code> deletes recursively and forcefully the paths it is given as arguments; <code>$DIRECTROY</code> is a shell variable, probably containing some directory that whoever typed in this command wanted to clean; however, it is misspelled (it says <code>$DIRECTROY</code>, not <code>$DIRECTORY</code>), and, due to how POSIX shell work, it is thus expanded to an empty string; so, the command becomes <code>rm -rf /*</code>, which deletes all the files and directories in the root of the disk, effectively killing the system instead of just deleting the content of some directory. Notice that this particular misspell manages to circumvent the builtin protection of many <code>rm</code> versions, which refuse to do a plain <code>rm -rf /</code>, as <code>/*</code> gets expanded by the shell, so <code>rm</code> never has the chance to see explicitly that you are killing all the data in the root directory.
* <code>:(){:|:&};:</code>: this is [https://askubuntu.com/q/159491/208527 a classic shell fork bomb], i.e. a small program that keeps launching copies of itself until all resources have been exhausted or the user somehow manages to kill all its copies.
* <code>echo "source .bashrc" >> .bashrc</code>: <code>.bashrc</code> is a file that gets executed whenever the <code>bash</code> shell is started in interactive mode; this command appends the string <code>source .bashrc</code> to it, which effectively executes it again recursively; this would pretty much make it impossible to open an interactive shell when launching it with the default parameters.
* <code>alias gcc=php</code>: the <code>alias</code> shell builtin create an alias for another command; <code>gcc</code> is the GNU C compiler driver, which is used to compile programs written in the C language; <code>php</code> is the command-line interpreter for the PHP language. This line creates an alias such that when typing <code>gcc</code>, <code>php</code> is actually invoked, which would generate completely absurd error messages. This is doubly devious, as PHP isn't generally held in high esteem by large part of the programming community (especially by someone writing stuff in C).

* <code>'); DROP TABLE Menus;--</code> links to [[327: Exploits of a Mom]]
|-
! 7
| '''Games'''
| Normal submenu
| Twenty Questions> A Twenty Questions interface that gets really confusing. There are links to Bing image searches for '[https://www.bing.com/images/search?q=okapi&FORM=HDRSC2 okapi]', '[https://www.bing.com/images/search?q=pronghorn&FORM=HDRSC2 pronghorn]', '[https://www.bing.com/images/search?q=eland&FORM=HDRSC2 eland]', '[https://www.bing.com/images/search?q=baribusa&FORM=HDRSC2 baribusa]', '[https://www.bing.com/images/search?q=musk%20deer&FORM=HDRSC2 musk deer]' and '[https://www.bing.com/images/search?q=ibex&FORM=HDRSC2 ibex]'. The game also contains some extremely large cans of creamed corn (a reference to [[1807: Listening]]).

Rock Paper Scissors> A Rock Paper Scissors game where the computer always matches your move. If you go long enough, the Defect option is added, a reference to the [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Prisoner%27s_dilemma Prisoner's Dilemma].

D&D> An interface that allows you to "cast" over 300 spells from D&D 5e. Several menus are used to filter the spells based on their traits: class which can learn the spell, the school of the spell, the spell level, and components required to perform it (somatic, vocal, material). The traits can be chosen in any order. After all six traits are chosen a submenu opens with all of the spells that match those exact traits (which might be no spells at all).

Most spells link to various pages, including xkcd comics (e.g. [[1331: Frequency]]), what-ifs (e.g. {{what if|144|Saliva Pool}}) and other external sites (e.g. [https://www.nasa.gov/sun The Sun | NASA]). Some spells create effects that change the comic page temporarily or permanently, and some open submenus from different parts of the context menu.

See [[#D&D spells|below]] for all links and effects.

ADVENT.EXE> A text-based adventure game. If played correctly, you can win, unlocking 'Save'>'Save image' from the beginning menu, which links to [https://xkcd.com/1975/v6xso1_right_click_save.png].

The first scene allows you a choice between exploring a dark cave or a castle. If you explore the cave first you get the following description: "It's pitch black. You're likely to be eaten by a grue". This is a reference to a text adventure game called [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Zork Zork], where [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Grue_(monster) Grues] are monsters who dwell in the dark and eat human explorers, making it impossible to explore dark areas. The same description often appears when you enter a dark area without a light source in Zork and other related games.

If you ignore the warning and go deeper, you are given one more warning ("You're deep in a cave. Something, possibly this very sentence, tells you it would be dangerous to go any further"). If you ignore that too and keep going, you fall into a pit. Several options are given to try and rescue yourself (or alternatively "resign to your fate" or deny you are in a pit [You also may try to cause a distraction by saying "Look behind you! A three-headed monkey!" This may be a reference to the Curse of Monkey Island, where Guybrush Threepwood distracts characters by saying the same line.]) but all lead to "you've been eaten by a grue". Being eaten by a grue seems to be an irreversible condition - if you exit the context menu and enter ADVENT.EXE again, you are given no options and are told again that "you've been eaten by a grue". Apparently only refreshing the page cancels that.

Exploring the castle is a much safer option to begin with. The main castle scene has a door, a well, and stairs that go up to the tower. The door is locked, and trying to break it is futile.

The well is a wishing well. Examining it allows for several options:
* Examine the sign - it reads "Dark! Narrow! Scary! Well of Three Features". This is a reference to [https://zeldawiki.wiki/wiki/Bottom_of_the_Well the well of three features] from The Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time.
* Wish for... - this one has a lot of options, some of which are links to comics or What If pages and some lead to further submenus:
** World peace - leads to the answer "I'm just a well, can you scale it down a bit?" and then back to the well menu; this option is from now changed to "Inner peace", which gives "A feeling of calm washes over you." and "Ommmmmm...", which also goes back to the well menu
** More wishes - leads back to the "Wish for..." menu. The idea of using a wish to wish for more wishes is common when discussing things with wish-granting powers and was previously mentioned in [[1086: Eyelash Wish Log]].
** Fewer wishes - Tell you "Really? Okay.." (as this is not something most people would ask for{{Citation needed}}). If you continue you return to the "Examine well" menu. If you want to make a wish again (even after exiting the menu and coming back again) you can only wish for "more wishes" and then you can continue wishing normally.
** Happiness - links to [[572: Together]], a comic about getting "happiness" as a scavenger hunt item.
** Luck - links to [[1053: Ten Thousand]] which refers to hearing about commonly known things for the first time as being one of "today's lucky 10,000".
** Wisdom - You hear a voice whisper 'N, E, N, N, N, W, S, W'. This is a clue for later.
** Wealth - Links to the what if article {{what if|111|All the Money}}, which might explain what will happen if the wishing well "overgrants" your wish.
** A human-sized hamster ball - links to [[152: Hamster Ball]] where [[Cueball]] wishes for the same thing.
** A map of everything - links to [[1196: Subways]], a map of the subways of North America, which are apparently "everything" for Americans.
** True love - links to {{what if|9|Soul Mates}}.
** A kitty! - links to [[231: Cat Proximity]], a comic detailing the effect of cats on humans.
* Jump in - Allows you to swim (and later "just keep swimming..." indefinitely) or climb out and return to the "Examine well" menu.
* Pull up the bucket - "You reel in the bucket. There's something shiny in the bottom". If you examine the bucket you get a key!

After you have the key, if you go back to the castle you can now use the key on the locked door and enter a dungeon. In the dungeon, there is a clamp on a table that you can take.

Finally, in the tower, you can find a "strange machine" dubbed a "C-Remover". You can try to use the C-Remover on any item you got. It doesn't affect the key, but it does turn the clamp into a lamp! The C-remover is a reference to either the T-remover from [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Leather_Goddesses_of_Phobos Leather Goddess of Phobos] or the multi-letter remover from [http://emshort.com/counterfeit_monkey/ Counterfeit Monkey], a text adventure by Emily Short inspired by it.

After you have the lamp, entering the cave becomes safer. It now becomes "a maze of twisty passages, all alike" where each room allows going N, E, S, or W, normally leading to an identical room. Only by using the clue from the wish for "wisdom" in the well and going N, E, N, N, N, W, S, W you can navigate the maze successfully. When following that path, after the first "W" the options become N, S, and Dennis instead of the usual N, E, S, W; this is a reference to the text-based game [http://www.hrwiki.org/wiki/Thy_Dungeonman Thy Dungeonman] found in a Strong Bad email from [http://homestarrunner.com homestarrunner.com].

If you follow the full path you find the center of the maze where there is a nest with a "large multicolored egg" (an easter egg!). If you take the egg you are told "You feel a sense of potential, as if you may have more options now". This is because the "save" options are now unlocked in the main context menu and the file menu!

Hoverboard> Links to [[1608: Hoverboard]] browser game.

Mornington Crescent> This is a simulation of the well-known game {{W|Mornington_Crescent_(game)|Mornington Crescent}}, which bears a surprising resemblance to {{W|London_Underground|London's Underground}} railway network. Players name a station, in turn, endeavoring to reach Mornington Crescent. The rules of play are very complicated and beyond the scope of this article; interested persons are referred to ''N. F. Stovold’s Mornington Crescent: Rules and Origins'' (sadly out of print). In this variation, one may reach 'Vauxhall'>'Easter basket'>'Take egg', also allowing you to save. The shortest path to the Easter basket is: Euston / Warren Street / Oxford Circus / Green Park / Victoria / Pimlico / Vauxhall / Easter basket

All playable stations are immediately adjacent on the London Underground network to the station last played. Despite the fact that this version of the game starts at Euston, which is adjacent to Mornington Crescent, the branch of the {{W|Northern_line|Northern line}} on which the {{W|Mornington_Crescent_tube_station|eponymous station}} is situated does not appear in the game.
|-
! 8
| '''Help'''
| Contains various submenus, all of which, barring Credits, loop back recursively to this menu:
|Tutorial
Support

Manual

Troubleshooting

FAQ

Guide

Q&A

User forums

--------------

Credits> 'Some people who helped with this comic:
[http://chromakode.com/ @chromakode]
[https://twitter.com/aiiane Amber]
[https://twitter.com/fadinginterest @fadinginterest]
[https://twitter.com/wirehead2501 Kat]
[https://twitter.com/cotrone Kevin]
[http://90d.ca/ Stereo]'
|-
! 9
| '''Do Crimes'''
| Contains several "crimes" that can be committed. This option is unlocked by File > Open > C:\ (or /home/user) > Bookmarks/ > Secret > Enable Dark Web.
This is a joke about how the dark web is perceived in popular culture - a place that exists solely to do crimes, mainly bitcoin and hacking related.
| Steal Bitcoins > Grayed out.
Say swears > Several clean swears that all link to [[771: Period Speech]].

Hack > Three sub-options that link to various related comics. (Gibson: Nothing. Election: [[1019: First Post]]. Planet: [[1337: Hack]].)

Forge a Scrabble Tile > Several sub-options that don't do anything. (U, Z, <this menu option intentionally left blank>, and two special characters, one being a Russian 'Э', as low-pitched [eh], and the second being a crossed swords emoji (⚔)
|}

====Filesystems Menu====

{| border =1 width=100% cellpadding=5 class="wikitable"
! Drive !! Menu Item !! Explanation !! Sub-Menu Items
|-
! A:\
| '''Insert'''
| Only appears before inserting a floppy disk.
|Floppy disk> Unlocks other options for drive A:\, which are identical to drive C:\
Chip card> A long sequence of being told 'Please wait. Authorizing...' ending in 'Chip error! REMOVE CARD NOW!'
|-
! C:\
| '''Documents/'''
| Nothing.
| None.
|-
! C:\
| '''Music/'''
| Leads to a long string of prompts for song lyrics. 'Hey now / Hey now na now / Sing "This Corrosion" to me' inverts the webpage's color before Easter egg mode is enabled, and plays the referenced song in the browser with inverted color and flashing if the Easter egg mode is enabled. It's actually the same menu that is shown under Utilities>Identify song (which itself is a menu-ised version of [[851: Na]]).
| 'Hey now / Hey now / Don't dream it's over' links to [[240: Dream Girl]]. 'This / is / a / story all about how / my life got flipped, turned upside down' links to [[464: RBA]]. 'This / is / the / story of a girl / who cried a river and drowned the whole world' links to a Youtube video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8_FVAEYRM5I
|-
! C:\
| '''Bookmarks/'''
| Similar to Music/, Bookmarks/> Comics leads to a chain from which all comics prior to this comic except [[1974: Conversational Dynamics]] are titled and linked. For instance, he thus here recognizes his first April Fools' comic [[404: Not Found]], which cannot be found, as a real comic by linking to it. Bookmarks/> Secret> Enable Dark Web adds the 'Dark Web' option to the initial menu.
|-
! C:\
| '''Games/'''
| Same as 'Games' from the initial menu.
|-
! C:\
| '''Sequences/'''
| The options are the lines from a ''Tim and Eric'' sketch [http://knowyourmeme.com/memes/celery-man Celery Man]; the final option links to a YouTube video of the sketch.
| After several single-option menus, it links to this Youtube video. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MHWBEK8w_YY
|-
! /
| '''home/'''
| Nothing.
| guest> links to http://uni.xkcd.com/ - a command-line Unix-style interface for viewing xkcd comics (and other commands to discover) that was used as the April Fool's joke in 2010. See also [[UniXKCD]].

user> Same files as C:\

root> Displays 'You are not in the sudoers file. This incident will be reported.' Which is what the sudo command will print if unauthorized users try to use it.
|-
! /
| '''opt/'''
| Does nothing.
| None.
|-
! /
| '''sbin/'''
| Does nothing.
| None.
|-
! /
| '''usr/'''
| Opens an infinite sequence of options, each similar to the last, but replacing the previous selection with another folder; probably a reference to the fact that [https://www.tldp.org/LDP/Linux-Filesystem-Hierarchy/html/usr.html the /usr hierarchy] does contain a list of subdirectories pretty much identical [https://www.tldp.org/LDP/Linux-Filesystem-Hierarchy/html/the-root-directory.html to those of the root directory]. /usr/local, too is a duplicate of /usr for files not originating with the distro, and of late /var and /opt have also started expanding.
|-
! /
| '''dev/'''
| Nothing.
|random/> links to a random xkcd comic. In unix systems reading from the /dev/random file generates pseudorandom bytes, so it fits here that /dev/random gives a random comic.
urandom/> links to [[221: Random Number]]. In unix systems, /dev/urandom is the same as /dev/random, except in /dev/random you don't get anything if you don't have sufficient "randomness" in the system, and in /dev/urandom you get whatever you have. The linked comic describes a botched attempt to create a function that would return a truly random number but actually, it returns a fixed number (and thus isn't useful at all). This alludes to /dev/urandom providing bad results sometimes.
|}

====D&D spells====
Here all the spells from the "d&d" game are detailed, including the traits you need to enter to get to them and the link they lead to/effect they create.

To get to a specific spell using this table you need to go to games->d&d->cast and then enter the traits - level, class, school, and components - in any order. Note that many spells list more than one class in the table (in d&d it means multiple classes can cast that spell), which means you need to choose one of those classes in the menu. Components are listed in the table as V for Verbal Components, S for Somatic Components and M for Material Components - choose "yes" or "no" for these based on whether the matching letter is there or not.

=====Link Spells=====
The vast majority of spells (285 of them apparently) are actually links to xkcd comics, what ifs, or external pages that somehow demonstrate or relate to the spell.

{| border =1 width=100% cellpadding=5 class="wikitable"
! Name !! Level !! Classes !! School !! Components !! Link !! Explanation
|-
! Acid Arrow
| 2
| Wizard
| Evocation
| V, S, M
| https://xkcd.com/790/
| The comic is about giving LSD (commonly known as "acid") to test subjects
|-
! Aid
| 2
| Cleric, Paladin
| Abjuration
| V, S, M
| http://donorschoose.org
| A site dedicated to donations - aiding various subjects
|-
! Alarm
| 1
| Ranger, Wizard
| Abjuration
| V, S, M
| https://xkcd.com/1359/
| Comic about phone alarm
|-
! Alter Self
| 2
| Sorcerer, Wizard
| Transmutation
| V, S
| https://xkcd.com/1099/
| In this comic beret guy is "altered" in a weird way
|-
! Animal Friendship
| 1
| Bard, Druid, Ranger
| Enchantment
| V, S, M
| https://xkcd.com/1746/
| Comic about making friends in a way that might attract some animals better than humans
|-
! Animal Messenger
| 2
| Bard, Druid, Ranger
| Enchantment
| V, S, M
| https://twitter.com/dog_rates
| A humorous Twitter page about "rating dogs" - in a way "messaging about" animals
|-
! Animal Shapes
| 8
| Druid
| Transmutation
| V, S
| https://xkcd.com/1278/
| Comic about using genetic engineering to change an animal (in this case a giraffe) shape
|-
! Animate Dead
| 3
| Cleric, Wizard
| Necromancy
| V, S, M
| http://www.asofterworld.com/index.php?id=62
| They were once dead.
|-
! Arcane Eye
| 4
| Wizard
| Divination
| V, S, M
| https://xkcd.com/993/
| The comic is related to creating a brand by having products that "stand out" and are therefore "more visible"
|-
! Astral Projection
| 9
| Cleric, Warlock, Wizard
| Necromancy
| V, S, M
| https://xkcd.com/977/
| Comic about map projections
|-
! Augury
| 2
| Cleric
| Divination
| V, S, M
| https://xkcd.com/1334/
| The comic is about checking the second page of google results for answers, which might be parallelized to reading omens in the spell.
|-
! Awaken
| 5
| Bard, Druid
| Transmutation
| V, S, M
| https://xkcd.com/1518/
| Comic about awakening... badly to an alarm sound
|-
! Bane
| 1
| Bard, Cleric
| Enchantment
| V, S, M
| https://xkcd.com/972/
| The comic details a simple exploit by blackhat, the bane of everyone's existence
|-
! Barkskin
| 2
| Druid, Ranger
| Transmutation
| V, S, M
| https://youtu.be/qFI4BQlBbig
| A video by "My Brother, My Brother and Me" where a person creates a "shitty iron man armor", parallel to the armor created by barkskin
|-
! Beacon of Hope
| 3
| Cleric
| Abjuration
| V, S
| https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Svalbard_Global_Seed_Vault
| Link to the wikipedia page about the global seed vault, which is meant to function as "a beacon of hope" in case of global disaster.
|-
! Bestow Curse
| 3
| Bard, Cleric, Wizard
| Necromancy
| V, S
| https://xkcd.com/214/
| The comic talks about "the problem of wikipedia" which can be time-waster to curious people. This can also be rephrased as "the curse of wikipedia"
|-
! Black Tentacles
| 4
| Wizard
| Conjuration
| V, S, M
| https://xkcd.com/1926/
| The comic is about an "ugly mess of code" which can be compared to a tentacle mess
|-
! Blade Barrier
| 6
| Cleric
| Evocation
| V, S
| https://xkcd.com/1406/
| The comic is about a "universal converted" which can be thought of as a kind of barrier
|-
! Bless
| 1
| Cleric, Paladin
| Enchantment
| V, S, M
| https://what-if.xkcd.com/55/
| A what if article about saying "bless you" to random people on the phone, hoping they just sneezed
|-
! Blight
| 4
| Druid, Sorcerer, Warlock, Wizard
| Necromancy
| V, S
| https://xkcd.com/1807/
| Another exploit by black hat
|-
! Blindness/Deafness
| 2
| Bard, Cleric, Sorcerer, Wizard
| Necromancy
| V
| https://xkcd.com/467/
| Comic related to "two girls one cup", a well-known shock video which might make people wish they were blind after seeing it
|-
! Branding Smite
| 2
| Paladin
| Evocation
| V
| https://xkcd.com/384/
| (Can thunder make intelligent?)
|-
! Burning Hands
| 1
| Sorcerer, Wizard
| Evocation
| V, S
| https://xkcd.com/1296/
| Git messages become increasingly similar to a person on fire typing them and also relate to haaaannds
|-
! Call Lightning
| 3
| Druid
| Conjuration
| V, S
| https://what-if.xkcd.com/16/
| A what if with several lightning-related questions
|-
! Calm Emotions
| 2
| Bard, Cleric
| Enchantment
| V, S
| https://twitter.com/CuteEmergency
| Twitter page about cute dogs that might indeed calm your emotions
|-
! Chain Lightning
| 6
| Sorcerer, Wizard
| Evocation
| V, S, M
| https://xkcd.com/898/
| Comic about the chain of command
|-
! Charm Person
| 1
| Bard, Druid, Sorcerer, Warlock, Wizard
| Enchantment
| V, S
| https://xkcd.com/1777/
| Comic about the Nigerian Scan, which can be thought of as a way to "charm" people into doing what you want (like other scams)
|-
! Chill Touch
| 0
| Sorcerer, Warlock, Wizard
| Necromancy
| V, S
| https://xkcd.com/1108/
| Comic about a cautionary ghost, similar to the ghostly hand the spell creates
|-
! Circle of Death
| 6
| Sorcerer, Warlock, Wizard
| Necromancy
| V, S, M
| https://xkcd.com/1674/
| Comic about doing "adult stuff" including writing a will
|-
! Clairvoyance
| 3
| Bard, Cleric, Sorcerer, Wizard
| Divination
| V, S, M
| https://xkcd.com/1421/
| Comic about discovering a creepily clairvoyant comment from your "past self" in your code
|-
! Clone
| 8
| Wizard
| Necromancy
| V, S, M
| https://xkcd.com/1597/
| Comic about git - "clone" is a common git command.
|-
! Cloudkill
| 5
| Sorcerer, Wizard
| Conjuration
| V, S
| https://what-if.xkcd.com/8/
| Human crowd
|-
! Color Spray
| 1
| Sorcerer, Wizard
| Illusion
| V, S, M
| https://xkcd.com/1882/
| Comic about color
|-
! Command
| 1
| Cleric, Paladin
| Enchantment
| V
| https://xkcd.com/857/
| Comic about a man making a famous phrase by Archimedes into a command with an ultimatum
|-
! Commune
| 5
| Cleric
| Divination
| V, S, M
| https://youtu.be/7yxaKeRRypo?t=44s
| Tried to snipe but turned into laughs
|-
! Commune with Nature
| 5
| Druid, Ranger
| Divination
| V, S
| https://youtu.be/BOxRFMiSDZU?t=9m47s
| Suddenly, Dino-Lansbury.
|-
! Comprehend Languages
| 1
| Bard, Sorcerer, Warlock, Wizard
| Divination
| V, S, M
| https://xkcd.com/1816/
| Comic about language weirdness and puns
|-
! Compulsion
| 4
| Bard
| Enchantment
| V, S
| https://xkcd.com/609/
| Comic about TVTropes, which might create a compulsion to follow links and stay there for a long time
|-
! Cone of Cold
| 5
| Sorcerer, Wizard
| Evocation
| V, S, M
| https://xkcd.com/1714/
| Comic about volcanoes, which are actually cones of heat usually (the "waffle cone" volcano in the comic is probably cold)
|-
! Confusion
| 4
| Bard, Druid, Sorcerer, Wizard
| Enchantment
| V, S, M
| https://xkcd.com/1969/
| Comic presents a way to confuse people by setting to "not found" page of your site to a "not available in your country" page
|-
! Conjure Woodland Beings
| 4
| Druid, Ranger
| Conjuration
| V, S, M
| https://xkcd.com/1903/
| Comic about "buns" (rabbits) which are woodland beings
|-
! Contact Other Plane
| 5
| Warlock, Wizard
| Divination
| V
| https://xkcd.com/1889/
| Comic from the "[[xkcd Phone]]" series. With all their features, surely xkcd phones can contact other planes...
|-
! Contagion
| 5
| Cleric, Druid
| Necromancy
| V, S
| https://xkcd.com/1161/
| Comic about hand sanitizer, which is meant to prevent contagion, but maybe not as effectively as [[Cueball]] would like.
|-
! Contingency
| 6
| Wizard
| Evocation
| V, S, M
| https://xkcd.com/140/
| Comic about how one gets cheese when they have chips and chips when they have cheese, a situation in which one condition triggers a contingency and vice versa.
|-
! Continual Flame
| 2
| Cleric, Wizard
| Evocation
| V, S, M
| https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/John_F._Kennedy_Eternal_Flame
| Wikipedia about eternal (continual) flame
|-
! Control Water
| 4
| Cleric, Druid, Wizard
| Transmutation
| V,S,M
| https://what-if.xkcd.com/103/
| What if article about water disappearing
|-
! Control Weather
| 8
| Cleric, Druid, Wizard
| Transmutation
| V, S, M
| https://xkcd.com/1126/
| Comic about the weirdness of the weather in 2005
|-
! Create Food and Water
| 3
| Cleric, Paladin
| Conjuration
| V, S
| https://xkcd.com/1774/
| Comic about food in supermarkets
|-
! Create or Destroy Water
| 1
| Cleric, Druid
| Transmutation
| V, S, M
| https://what-if.xkcd.com/103/
| What if article about water disappearing (Same as in "control water" - actually more fitting here)
|-
! Create Undead
| 6
| Cleric, Warlock, Wizard
| Necromancy
| V, S, M
| https://what-if.xkcd.com/69/
| What if about the dead users in Facebook who are compared to "undead" in a comic image at the start of the article
|-
! Creation
| 5
| Sorcerer, Wizard
| Illusion
| V, S, M
| https://youtu.be/_hH7vZF15SY
| "Monster Factory" episode which is a gameplay video of the game spore which is about the creation of a species and a civilization. "Creating" is also in the video title.
|-
! Cure Wounds
| 1
| Bard, Cleric, Druid, Paladin, Ranger
| Evocation
| V, S
| https://xkcd.com/1618/
| Comic about trying to cure a pretty bad cold
|-
! Dancing Lights
| 0
| Bard, Sorcerer, Wizard
| Evocation
| V, S, M
| https://xkcd.com/1331/
| Comic that shows frequencies of different events in the form of blinking ("dancing") gifs ("lights")
|-
! Daylight
| 3
| Cleric, Druid, Paladin, Ranger, Sorcerer
| Evocation
| V, S
| https://xkcd.com/673/
| Comic about "daylight saving time"
|-
! Death Ward
| 4
| Cleric, Paladin
| Abjuration
| V, S
| https://xkcd.com/865/
| In the comic IPv6 functions as a sort of "death ward" against nanobots, buying us some time before the total annihilation of life on earth.
|-
! Demiplane
| 8
| Warlock, Wizard
| Conjuration
| S
| https://xkcd.com/1703/
|
|-
! Detect Evil and Good
| 1
| Cleric, Paladin
| Divination
| V, S
| https://xkcd.com/256/
| A map of internet communities, with the good and bad parts.
|-
! Detect Magic
| 1
| Bard, Cleric, Druid, Paladin, Ranger, Sorcerer, Wizard
| Divination
| V, S
| https://xkcd.com/808/
| An economic argument that "detects" what crazy "magic" phenomenon actually works and what doesn't.
|-
! Detect Poison and Disease
| 1
| Cleric, Druid, Paladin, Ranger
| Divination
| V, S, M
| https://xkcd.com/802/
| Updated version of "map of online communities" which was linked to from "detect good and evil", again suggesting that online communities are full of "poison and disease".
|-
! Detect Thoughts
| 2
| Bard, Sorcerer, Wizard
| Divination
| V, S, M
| https://xkcd.com/1448/
| A note asking someone about their thoughts (or feelings)
|-
! Disguise Self
| 1
| Bard, Sorcerer, Wizard
| Illusion
| V, S
| https://xkcd.com/451/
| Comic about being an impostor and "disguising" yourself as an expert in a field.
|-
! Disintegrate
| 6
| Sorcerer, Wizard
| Transmutation
| V, S, M
| https://what-if.xkcd.com/1/
| The very first what if, where a baseball is pitched at 90% of the speed of light and begins to disintegrate... In a nuclear explosion
|-
! Dispel Evil and Good
| 5
| Cleric, Paladin
| Abjuration
| V, S, M
| https://what-if.xkcd.com/5/
| What-if about a contemporary robot apocalypse ("evil") and how to "dispel" it.
|-
! Dispel Magic
| 3
| Bard, Cleric, Druid, Paladin, Sorcerer, Warlock, Wizard
| Abjuration
| V, S
| https://xkcd.com/109/
| Comic about spoilers who "dispel the magic" of watching some movies.
|-
! Divination
| 4
| Cleric
| Divination
| V, S, M
| https://xkcd.com/1525/
| xkcd's version of the magic 8 ball, a toy/tool for divination
|-
! Divine Favor
| 1
| Paladin
| Evocation
| V, S
| https://xkcd.com/1575/
| Comic parodying the Christian poem "footprints" which is about divine favor
|-
! Divine Word
| 7
| Cleric
| Evocation
| V
| https://xkcd.com/741/
| Comic about content producing, some of which may be divine words
|-
! Dominate Beast
| 4
| Druid, Sorcerer
| Enchantment
| V, S
| https://xkcd.com/1934/
| Comic about excessive phone security settings that "dominate" the thief in a way
|-
! Dominate Monster
| 8
| Bard, Sorcerer, Warlock, Wizard
| Enchantment
| V, S
| https://youtu.be/JgChfrBsEaI
| "Monster factory" episode about "creating the Shrek franchise" - which is about a monster - in spore.
|-
! Dominate Person
| 5
| Bard, Sorcerer, Wizard
| Enchantment
| V, S
| https://xkcd.com/1116/
| Comic about confusing traffic light which can "dominate" a person.
|-
! Dream
| 5
| Bard, Warlock, Wizard
| Illusion
| V, S, M
| https://xkcd.com/557/
| Comic about the common "not ready for school" dream
|-
! Druidcraft
| 0
| Druid
| Transmutation
| V, S
| https://xkcd.com/867/
| Comic about branches of zoology - zoology can be thought of as "druidcraft"
|-
! Earthquake
| 8
| Cleric, Druid, Sorcerer
| Evocation
| V, S, M
| https://blog.xkcd.com/2011/08/24/earthquakes/
| Blog post about earthquakes
|-
! Eldritch Blast
| 0
| Warlock
| Evocation
| V, S
| https://xkcd.com/356/
| Comic about "nerd sniping", an unconventional sort of "blast" for "hitting" nerds
|-
! Enhance Ability
| 2
| Bard, Cleric, Druid, Sorcerer
| Transmutation
| V, S, M
| https://youtu.be/YLg_aIlhe6I?t=23m33s
| "Monster factory" episode about the stars recreating themselves in a WWE videogame, in a way "enhancing their abilities"
|-
! Entangle
| 1
| Druid
| Conjuration
| V, S
| https://xkcd.com/257/
| Comic about code encryption, which adds complexity similar to an entanglement
|-
! Enthrall
| 2
| Bard, Warlock
| Enchantment
| V, S
| https://xkcd.com/1286/
| Comic about improperly encrypted passwords, similar to the "distracting string of words" in the spell description
|-
! Etherealness
| 7
| Bard, Cleric, Sorcerer, Warlock, Wizard
| Transmutation
| V, S
| https://xkcd.com/644/
|
|-
! Expeditious Retreat
| 1
| Sorcerer, Warlock, Wizard
| Transmutation
| V, S
| https://what-if.xkcd.com/61/
| What-if about speed bumps
|-
! Eyebite
| 6
| Bard, Sorcerer, Warlock, Wizard
| Necromancy
| V, S
| https://xkcd.com/1015/
| Comic about bad kerning, which is a "bite" to the eyes
|-
! Fabricate
| 4
| Wizard
| Transmutation
| V, S
| Another Monster Factory video, fabricating a character in Mass Effect
|
|-
! Faerie Fire
| 1
| Bard, Druid
| Evocation
| V
| https://what-if.xkcd.com/151/
| What-If about fireflies
|-
! Faithful Hound
| 4
| Wizard
| Conjuration
| V, S, M
| https://xkcd.com/1193/
| Comic that ends with a very large dog
|-
! False Life
| 1
| Sorcerer, Wizard
| Necromancy
| V, S, M
| https://youtu.be/8-3jDVTLdaQ
| Monster Factory video involving the game Second Life.
|-
! Fear
| 3
| Bard, Sorcerer, Warlock, Wizard
| Illusion
| V, S, M
| https://xkcd.com/1242/
| A chart comparing how scary things are
|-
! Feather Fall
| 1
| Bard, Sorcerer, Wizard
| Transmutation
| V, M
| https://youtu.be/bWvyJ05TdC8?t=13m34s
| In this clip, the floor is removed, causing a lot of people to fall.
|-
! Feeblemind
| 8
| Bard, Druid, Warlock, Wizard
| Enchantment
| V, S, M
| https://xkcd.com/574/
| A comic about misinformed people, who could be described as acting feeble-minded.
|-
! Find Familiar
| 1
| Wizard
| Conjuration
| V, S, M
| https://xkcd.com/413/
| Comic talking about a new pet (that is actually a computer). A familiar is an animal, similar to a pet, that serves a master, usually the magic user that summoned it.
|-
! Find Steed
| 2
| Paladin
| Conjuration
| V, S
| https://xkcd.com/1651/
| After the events of the comic, you would have to sort through the pile of cars to find your own; Your car here being the "steed" of the spell.
|-
! Find the Path
| 6
| Bard, Cleric, Druid
| Divination
| V, S, M
| https://xkcd.com/887/
|
|-
! Find Traps
| 2
| Cleric, Druid, Ranger
| Divination
| V, S
| https://xkcd.com/1195/
| This comic itself is a trap!
|-
! Finger of Death
| 7
| Sorcerer, Warlock, Wizard
| Necromancy
| V, S
| https://what-if.xkcd.com/117/
| A What-If about death.
|-
! Fire Bolt
| 0
| Sorcerer, Wizard
| Evocation
| V, S
| https://xkcd.com/639/
|
|-
! Fire Shield
| 4
| Wizard
| Evocation
| V, S, M
| https://www.jpl.nasa.gov/video/details.php?id=1090
|
|-
! Fire Storm
| 7
| Cleric, Druid, Sorcerer
| Evocation
| V, S
| https://youtu.be/ujADg0nWqCw?t=15m51s
| A discusion of Curiosity's landing gear, including its heat shield.
|-
! Flame Blade
| 2
| Druid
| Evocation
| V, S, M
| https://xkcd.com/961/
| Strangely, not used for Continual Flame, despite the title.
|-
! Flame Strike
| 5
| Cleric
| Evocation
| V, S, M
| https://youtu.be/J9hMe1R8eYw
|
|-
! Flaming Sphere
| 2
| Druid, Wizard
| Conjuration
| V, S, M
| https://xkcd.com/673/
| This is a comic about the sun, which can be described as a flaming sphere.
|-
! Flesh to Stone
| 6
| Warlock, Wizard
| Transmutation
| V,S,M
| https://xkcd.com/1409/
| Might be a penis joke on the "hours since watching porn" query.
|-
! Floating Disk
| 1
| Wizard
| Conjuration
| V, S, M
| https://what-if.xkcd.com/50/
| What-If on boating. A boat can - generously - be described as a floating disk.
|-
! Fly
| 3
| Sorcerer, Warlock, Wizard
| Transmutation
| V, S, M
| https://xkcd.com/353/
| A comic where a Python user gains the power of flight.
|-
! Fog Cloud
| 1
| Druid, Ranger, Sorcerer, Wizard
| Conjuration
| V, S
| http://twitter.com/karlthefog
| The twitter account for a fog cloud.
|-
! Forbiddance
| 6
| Cleric
| Abjuration
| V, S, M
| https://xkcd.com/782/
| A comic about breaking forbidden taboos and paying the consequences.
|-
! Forcecage
| 7
| Bard, Warlock, Wizard
| Evocation
| V, S, M
| https://xkcd.com/1142/
| A Faraday cage could be described as a force-cage.
|-
! Foresight
| 9
| Bard, Druid, Warlock, Wizard
| Divination
| V, S, M
| https://xkcd.com/1876/
| A comic about using one's foresight to extrapolate trends.
|-
! Freedom of Movement
| 4
| Bard, Cleric, Druid, Ranger
| Abjuration
| V, S, M
| https://youtu.be/sCOwRahm0so?t=1m8s
| Jet boots and forging your own path both enable freedom of movement
|-
! Freezing Sphere
| 6
| Wizard
| Evocation
| V, S, M
| https://what-if.xkcd.com/121/
| A What-If about freezing a lot of things at once.
|-
! Gaseous Form
| 3
| Sorcerer, Warlock, Wizard
| Transmutation
| V, S, M
| https://what-if.xkcd.com/146/
| This What-If is about Jupiter, a gas giant.
|-
! Geas
| 5
| Bard, Cleric, Druid, Paladin, Wizard
| Enchantment
| V
| https://xkcd.com/1559/
| Geas gives the target a magical command that they must follow, a somewhat-common use of which is instructing someone to walk across a continent to get them out of the way.
|-
! Gentle Repose
| 2
| Cleric, Wizard
| Necromancy
| V, S, M
| https://youtu.be/1Wl_yf86n78?t=20m
|
|-
! Giant Insect
| 4
| Druid
| Transmutation
| V, S
| https://youtu.be/_1jGnFt78H8?t=25m32s
| Roachie is a radroach, a giant insect much like the kind that this spell creates.
|-
! Glibness
| 8
| Bard, Warlock
| Transmutation
| V
| https://xkcd.com/707/
| Glibness is both a spell that makes you more charismatic and the quality of being funny and insincere.
|-
! Globe of Invulnerability
| 6
| Sorcerer, Wizard
| Abjuration
| V, S, M
| https://what-if.xkcd.com/153/
|
|-
! Glyph of Warding
| 3
| Bard, Cleric, Wizard
| Abjuration
| V, S, M
| https://xkcd.com/1247/
| The warning message in this comic functions as a way of warding off viruses, warning the user of possibile attacks.
|-
! Goodberry
| 1
| Druid, Ranger
| Transmutation
| V, S, M
| https://xkcd.com/1035/
| Goodberry summons a magical berry with as much nutritional value as a full day's food, much in the way that a soda has as much sugar as two or three Cadbury eggs.
|-
! Grease
| 1
| Wizard
| Conjuration
| V, S, M
| https://what-if.xkcd.com/4/
|
|-
! Greater Invisibility
| 4
| Bard, Sorcerer, Wizard
| Illusion
| V, S
| https://what-if.xkcd.com/72/
| The loneliest human had no connection to anyone else at the time, making them functionally invisible to the world.
|-
! Greater Restoration
| 5
| Bard, Cleric, Druid
| Abjuration
| V, S, M
| http://www.maximumfun.org/shows/my-brother-my-brother-and-me
|
|-
! Guardian of Faith
| 4
| Cleric
| Conjuration
| V
| https://xkcd.com/1934/
| The same comic as Dominate Beass. The security settings guard against thieves.
|-
! Guards and Wards
| 6
| Bard, Wizard
| Abjuration
| V, S, M
| https://xkcd.com/1890/
| A guide to self-defense in specific situations.
|-
! Guidance
| 0
| Cleric, Druid
| Divination
| V, S
| https://xkcd.com/1028/
| A comic on communication and guiding others.
|-
! Guiding Bolt
| 1
| Cleric
| Evocation
| V, S
| https://xkcd.com/1160/
| Both a poster guiding people to join the trebuchet club, and the actual mechanism of aiming the trebuchet.
|-
! Gust of Wind
| 2
| Druid, Sorcerer, Wizard
| Evocation
| V, S, M
| https://xkcd.com/1378/
| In this comic, a wind turbine is asked to create a Gust of Wind, but is unable to.
|-
! Hallow
| 5
| Cleric
| Evocation
| V, S, M
| https://xkcd.com/1677/
| PF2e tips: "Hallow-led" Background has Dubious knowledge skill feat, fail pulls a correct information and a misinformation.
|-
! Hallucinatory Terrain
| 4
| Bard, Druid, Warlock, Wizard
| Illusion
| V, S, M
| https://xkcd.com/1472/
|
|-
! Harm
| 6
| Cleric
| Necromancy
| V, S
| https://xkcd.com/218/
| A comic where harm is caused to the patient by suggesting the heart is taken out and the ventricles are blown in
|-
! Haste
| 3
| Sorcerer, Wizard
| Transmutation
| V, S, M
| https://xkcd.com/1701/
|
|-
! Heal
| 6
| Cleric, Druid
| Evocation
| V, S
| https://xkcd.com/218/
|
|-
! Healing Word
| 1
| Bard, Cleric, Druid
| Evocation
| V
| https://youtu.be/NYnldxUpYQQ
|
|-
! Heat Metal
| 2
| Bard, Druid
| Transmutation
| V, S, M
| https://what-if.xkcd.com/35/
|
|-
! Hellish Rebuke
| 1
| Warlock
| Evocation
| V, S
| https://xkcd.com/327/
|
|-
! Heroes' Feast
| 6
| Cleric, Druid
| Conjuration
| V, S, M
| https://youtu.be/_v1v0t8Q5xg?t=7m48s
|
|-
! Heroism
| 1
| Bard, Paladin
| Enchantment
| V, S
| https://xkcd.com/326/
|
|-
! Hideous Laughter
| 1
| Bard, Wizard
| Enchantment
| V, S, M
| https://xkcd.com/1974/
|
|-
! Hold Monster
| 5
| Bard, Sorcerer, Warlock, Wizard
| Enchantment
| V, S, M
| https://xkcd.com/1604/
|
|-
! Hold Person
| 2
| Bard, Cleric, Druid, Sorcerer, Warlock, Wizard
| Enchantment
| V, S, M
| https://xkcd.com/540/
|
|-
! Holy Aura
| 8
| Cleric
| Abjuration
| V, S, M
| https://what-if.xkcd.com/145/
|
|-
! Hunter's Mark
| 1
| Ranger
| Divination
| V
| https://what-if.xkcd.com/11/
|
|-
! Hypnotic Pattern
| 3
| Bard, Sorcerer, Warlock, Wizard
| Illusion
| S, M
| https://xkcd.com/722/
|
|-
! Ice Storm
| 4
| Druid, Sorcerer, Wizard
| Evocation
| V, S, M
| https://what-if.xkcd.com/104/
|
|-
! Identify
| 1
| Bard, Wizard
| Divination
| V, S, M
| https://what-if.xkcd.com/9/
|
|-
! Illusory Script
| 1
| Bard, Warlock, Wizard
| Illusion
| S, M
| https://xkcd.com/1288/
|
|-
! Imprisonment
| 9
| Warlock, Wizard
| Abjuration
| V, S, M
| https://youtu.be/U4rwlvMEoj0
|
|-
! Incendiary Cloud
| 8
| Sorcerer, Wizard
| Conjuration
| V, S
| https://what-if.xkcd.com/139/
|
|-
! Inflict Wounds
| 1
| Cleric
| Necromancy
| V, S
| https://youtu.be/Kcd44VfN-Ro?t=3m24s
|
|-
! Insect Plague
| 5
| Cleric, Druid, Sorcerer
| Conjuration
| V, S, M
| https://xkcd.com/1127/
|
|-
! Instant Summons
| 6
| Wizard
| Conjuration
| V, S, M
| https://what-if.xkcd.com/123/
| What if about fairy demographics which are "summoned" to the first laugh of a child
|-
! Invisibility
| 2
| Bard, Sorcerer, Warlock, Wizard
| Illusion
| V, S, M
| https://xkcd.com/1080/
|
|-
! Irresistible Dance
| 6
| Bard, Wizard
| Enchantment
| V
| https://xkcd.com/878/
|
|-
! Jump
| 1
| Druid, Ranger, Sorcerer, Wizard
| Transmutation
| V, S, M
| https://youtu.be/kT2Y6ftxilM?t=17m37s
|
|-
! Knock
| 2
| Bard, Sorcerer, Wizard
| Transmutation
| V
| https://xkcd.com/530/
|
|-
! Legend Lore
| 5
| Bard, Cleric, Wizard
| Divination
| V, S, M
| https://xkcd.com/1350/
|
|-
! Lesser Restoration
| 2
| Bard, Cleric, Druid, Paladin, Ranger
| Abjuration
| V, S
| https://xkcd.com/567/
|
|-
! Levitate
| 2
| Sorcerer, Wizard
| Transmutation
| V, S, M
| https://xkcd.com/520/
|
|-
! Light
| 0
| Bard, Cleric, Sorcerer, Wizard
| Evocation
| V, M
| https://what-if.xkcd.com/13/
|
|-
! Lightning Bolt
| 3
| Sorcerer, Wizard
| Evocation
| V, S, M
| https://what-if.xkcd.com/109/
|
|-
! Locate Animals or Plants
| 2
| Bard, Druid, Ranger
| Divination
| V, S, M
| https://xkcd.com/1826/
|
|-
! Locate Creature
| 4
| Bard, Cleric, Druid, Paladin, Ranger, Wizard
| Divination
| V, S, M
| https://xkcd.com/1747/
|
|-
! Locate Object
| 2
| Bard, Cleric, Druid, Paladin, Ranger, Wizard
| Divination
| V, S, M
| http://bfy.tw/Dh
|
|-
! Longstrider
| 1
| Bard, Druid, Ranger, Wizard
| Transmutation
| V, S, M
| https://xkcd.com/1065/
|
|-
! Mage Armor
| 1
| Sorcerer, Wizard
| Abjuration
| V, S, M
| https://xkcd.com/1636/
|
|-
! Mage Hand
| 0
| Bard, Sorcerer, Warlock, Wizard
| Conjuration
| V, S
| https://xkcd.com/1812/
|
|-
! Magic Circle
| 3
| Cleric, Paladin, Warlock, Wizard
| Abjuration
| V, S, M
| https://xkcd.com/112/
|
|-
! Magic Jar
| 6
| Wizard
| Necromancy
| V, S, M
| https://xkcd.com/1021/
|
|-
! Magic Missile
| 1
| Sorcerer, Wizard
| Evocation
| V, S
| https://xkcd.com/1356/
|
|-
! Magic Mouth
| 2
| Bard, Wizard
| Illusion
| V, S, M
| https://what-if.xkcd.com/37/
|
|-
! Magic Weapon
| 2
| Paladin, Wizard
| Transmutation
| V, S
| https://what-if.xkcd.com/81/
|
|-
! Magnificent Mansion
| 7
| Bard, Wizard
| Conjuration
| V, S, M
| https://youtu.be/TamwFUUd9Yk?t=10m29s
|
|-
! Major Image
| 3
| Bard, Sorcerer, Warlock, Wizard
| Illusion
| V, S, M
| https://xkcd.com/980/
|
|-
! Mass Cure Wounds
| 5
| Bard, Cleric, Druid
| Evocation
| V, S
| https://xkcd.com/1793/
|
|-
! Mass Heal
| 9
| Cleric
| Evocation
| V, S
| https://youtu.be/1Cj8d6EcFp0
|
|-
! Mass Healing Word
| 3
| Cleric
| Evocation
| V
| https://xkcd.com/1520/
|
|-
! Mass Suggestion
| 6
| Bard, Sorcerer, Warlock, Wizard
| Enchantment
| V, M
| https://xkcd.com/1264/
|
|-
! Maze
| 8
| Wizard
| Conjuration
| V, S
| https://xkcd.com/246/
|
|-
! Meld into Stone
| 3
| Cleric, Druid
| Transmutation
| V, S
| https://youtu.be/V5PlKZRQVgQ
|
|-
! Mending
| 0
| Bard, Cleric, Druid, Sorcerer, Wizard
| Transmutation
| V, S, M
| https://xkcd.com/1780
|
|-
! Message
| 0
| Bard, Sorcerer, Wizard
| Transmutation
| V, S, M
| https://xkcd.com/1782/
|
|-
! Meteor Swarm
| 9
| Sorcerer, Wizard
| Evocation
| V, S
| https://xkcd.com/1249/
|
|-
! Mind Blank
| 8
| Bard, Wizard
| Abjuration
| V, S
| https://xkcd.com/1145/
|
|-
! Minor Illusion
| 0
| Bard, Sorcerer, Warlock, Wizard
| Illusion
| S, M
| https://xkcd.com/1492/
|
|-
! Mirage Arcane
| 7
| Bard, Druid, Wizard
| Illusion
| V, S
| https://xkcd.com/806/
|
|-
! Mislead
| 5
| Bard, Wizard
| Illusion
| S
| https://xkcd.com/1488/
|
|-
! Misty Step
| 2
| Sorcerer, Warlock, Wizard
| Conjuration
| V
| https://what-if.xkcd.com/126/
|
|-
! Modify Memory
| 5
| Bard, Wizard
| Enchantment
| V, S
| https://xkcd.com/1156/
|
|-
! Moonbeam
| 2
| Druid
| Evocation
| V, S, M
| https://xkcd.com/1738/
|
|-
! Move Earth
| 6
| Druid, Sorcerer, Wizard
| Transmutation
| V, S, M
| https://xkcd.com/723/
|
|-
! Nondetection
| 3
| Bard, Ranger, Wizard
| Abjuration
| V, S, M
| https://xkcd.com/937/
|
|-
! Pass Without Trace
| 2
| Druid, Ranger
| Abjuration
| V, S, M
| https://youtu.be/LHBzVTCO3nM?t=4m32s
|
|-
! Passwall
| 5
| Wizard
| Transmutation
| V, S, M
| https://xkcd.com/1608/
|
|-
! Phantasmal Killer
| 4
| Wizard
| Illusion
| V, S
| https://what-if.xkcd.com/12/
|
|-
! Phantom Steed
| 3
| Wizard
| Illusion
| V, S
| https://youtu.be/U3JnZEzoL6M
|
|-
! Planar Ally
| 6
| Cleric
| Conjuration
| V, S
| https://xkcd.com/112/
|
|-
! Planar Binding
| 5
| Bard, Cleric, Druid, Wizard
| Abjuration
| V, S, M
| https://xkcd.com/1956/
|
|-
! Plane Shift
| 7
| Cleric, Druid, Sorcerer, Warlock, Wizard
| Conjuration
| V, S, M
| https://xkcd.com/803/
|
|-
! Plant Growth
| 3
| Bard, Druid, Ranger
| Transmutation
| V, S
| https://youtu.be/yV9wy9ucXgc
|
|-
! Poison Spray
| 0
| Druid, Sorcerer, Warlock, Wizard
| Conjuration
| V, S
| https://what-if.xkcd.com/144/
|
|-
! Polymorph
| 4
| Bard, Druid, Sorcerer, Wizard
| Transmutation
| V, S, M
| https://xkcd.com/1094/
|
|-
! Power Word Kill
| 9
| Bard, Sorcerer, Warlock, Wizard
| Enchantment
| V
| https://youtu.be/VHR0EfYACAI?t=13m51s
|
|-
! Power Word Stun
| 8
| Bard, Sorcerer, Warlock, Wizard
| Enchantment
| V
| https://what-if.xkcd.com/
|
|-
! Prayer of Healing
| 2
| Cleric
| Evocation
| V
| https://xkcd.com/418/
|
|-
! Prestidigitation
| 0
| Bard, Sorcerer, Warlock, Wizard
| Transmutation
| V, S
| https://xkcd.com/942/
|
|-
! Prismatic Spray
| 7
| Sorcerer, Wizard
| Evocation
| V, S
| https://xkcd.com/657/
|
|-
! Prismatic Wall
| 9
| Wizard
| Abjuration
| V, S
| https://xkcd.com/1271/
|
|-
! Private Sanctum
| 4
| Wizard
| Abjuration
| V, S, M
| https://xkcd.com/1663/#74b2196a-34fa-11e8-8001-42010a8e0006
|
|-
! Produce Flame
| 0
| Druid
| Conjuration
| V, S
| https://xkcd.com/386/
|
|-
! Programmed Illusion
| 6
| Bard, Wizard
| Illusion
| V, S, M
| https://xkcd.com/303/
|
|-
! Project Image
| 7
| Bard, Wizard
| Illusion
| V, S, M
| https://youtu.be/bR0Ubck0IRA
|
|-
! Protection from Energy
| 3
| Cleric, Druid, Ranger, Sorcerer, Wizard
| Abjuration
| V, S
| https://xkcd.com/556/
|
|-
! Protection from Evil and Good
| 1
| Cleric, Paladin, Warlock, Wizard
| Abjuration
| V, S, M
| https://xkcd.com/1303/
|
|-
! Protection from Poison
| 2
| Cleric, Druid, Paladin, Ranger
| Abjuration
| V, S
| https://xkcd.com/1305/
|
|-
! Purify Food and Drink
| 1
| Cleric, Druid, Paladin
| Transmutation
| V, S
| https://youtu.be/ONSWw4aBBLg
|
|-
! Raise Dead
| 5
| Bard, Cleric, Paladin
| Necromancy
| V, S, M
| https://xkcd.com/599/
|
|-
! Ray of Enfeeblement
| 2
| Warlock, Wizard
| Necromancy
| V, S
| https://xkcd.com/526/
|
|-
! Ray of Frost
| 0
| Sorcerer, Wizard
| Evocation
| V, S
| https://xkcd.com/312/
|
|-
! Regenerate
| 7
| Bard, Cleric, Druid
| Transmutation
| V, S, M
| https://xkcd.com/1024/
|
|-
! Reincarnate
| 5
| Druid
| Transmutation
| V, S, M
| https://youtu.be/WbKrlJgwI4A?t=17m33s
|
|-
! Remove Curse
| 3
| Cleric, Paladin, Warlock, Wizard
| Abjuration
| V, S
| https://xkcd.com/391/
|
|-
! Resilient Sphere
| 4
| Wizard
| Evocation
| V, S, M
| https://xkcd.com/1248/
|
|-
! Resistance
| 0
| Cleric, Druid
| Abjuration
| V, S, M
| https://xkcd.com/730/
|
|-
! Resurrection
| 7
| Bard, Cleric
| Necromancy
| V, S, M
| https://xkcd.com
|
|-
! Reverse Gravity
| 7
| Druid, Sorcerer, Wizard
| Transmutation
| V, S, M
| https://xkcd.com/1115/
|
|-
! Revivify
| 3
| Cleric, Paladin
| Necromancy
| V, S, M
| https://xkcd.com/346/
|
|-
! Rope Trick
| 2
| Wizard
| Transmutation
| V, S, M
| https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dQw4w9WgXcQ
|
|-
! Sacred Flame
| 0
| Cleric
| Evocation
| V, S
| https://www.nasa.gov/sun
|
|-
! Sanctuary
| 1
| Cleric
| Abjuration
| V, S, M
| https://youtu.be/qQVlGrwG9yo?t=11m49s
|
|-
! Scorching Ray
| 2
| Sorcerer, Wizard
| Evocation
| V, S
| https://xkcd.com/729
|
|-
! Scrying
| 5
| Bard, Cleric, Druid, Warlock, Wizard
| Divination
| V, S, M
| https://archive.org/donate/
|
|-
! Secret Chest
| 4
| Wizard
| Conjuration
| V, S, M
| https://xkcd.com/1762/
|
|-
! See invisibility
| 2
| Bard, Sorcerer, Wizard
| Divination
| V, S, M
| https://xkcd.com/401/
|
|-
! Seeming
| 5
| Bard, Sorcerer, Wizard
| Illusion
| V, S
| https://xkcd.com/451/
|
|-
! Sending
| 3
| Bard, Cleric, Wizard
| Evocation
| V, S, M
| https://xkcd.com/352/
|
|-
! Sequester
| 7
| Wizard
| Transmutation
| V, S, M
| https://xkcd.com/646/
|
|-
! Shapechange
| 9
| Druid, Wizard
| Transmutation
| V, S, M
| https://youtu.be/-aWH3-46slI?t=6m4s
|
|-
! Shatter
| 2
| Bard, Sorcerer, Warlock, Wizard
| Evocation
| V, S, M
| https://what-if.xkcd.com/137/
|
|-
! Shield
| 1
| Sorcerer, Wizard
| Abjuration
| V, S
| https://xkcd.com/916/
|
|-
! Shield of Faith
| 1
| Cleric, Paladin
| Abjuration
| V, S, M
| https://xkcd.com/129/
|
|-
! Shillelagh
| 0
| Druid
| Transmutation
| V, S, M
| https://youtu.be/LXxdC9X3hxg?t=8m6s
|
|-
! Shocking Grasp
| 0
| Sorcerer, Wizard
| Evocation
| V, S
| https://xkcd.com/242/
|
|-
! Silence
| 2
| Bard, Cleric, Ranger
| Illusion
| V, S
| https://xkcd.com/525/
|
|-
! Silent Image
| 1
| Bard, Sorcerer, Wizard
| Illusion
| V, S, M
| https://xkcd.com/1416/
|
|-
! Simulacrum
| 7
| Wizard
| Illusion
| V, S, M
| https://youtu.be/1Qo1Aj_leEo
|
|-
! Sleep
| 1
| Bard, Sorcerer, Wizard
| Enchantment
| V, S, M
| https://xkcd.com/320/
|
|-
! Sleet Storm
| 3
| Druid, Sorcerer, Wizard
| Conjuration
| V, S, M
| https://xkcd.com/511/
|
|-
! Slow
| 3
| Sorcerer, Wizard
| Transmutation
| V, S, M
| https://xkcd.com/162/
|
|-
! Speak with Animals
| 1
| Bard, Druid, Ranger
| Divination
| V, S
| https://xkcd.com/1879/
|
|-
! Speak with Plants
| 3
| Bard, Druid, Ranger
| Transmutation
| V, S
| https://what-if.xkcd.com/70/
|
|-
! Spider Climb
| 2
| Sorcerer, Warlock, Wizard
| Transmutation
| V, S, M
| https://what-if.xkcd.com/136/
|
|-
! Spike Growth
| 2
| Druid, Ranger
| Transmutation
| V, S, M
| https://what-if.xkcd.com/67/
|
|-
! Spirit Guardians
| 3
| Cleric
| Conjuration
| V, S, M
| https://xkcd.com/695/
|
|-
! Spiritual Weapon
| 2
| Cleric
| Evocation
| V, S
| https://youtu.be/A1gTbnB-Gps?t=17m2s
|
|-
! Stinking Cloud
| 3
| Bard, Sorcerer, Wizard
| Conjuration
| V, S, M
| https://xkcd.com/1066/
|
|-
! Stone Shape
| 4
| Cleric, Druid, Wizard
| Transmutation
| V, S, M
| https://what-if.xkcd.com/135/
|
|-
! Stoneskin
| 4
| Druid, Ranger, Sorcerer, Wizard
| Abjuration
| V, S, M
| https://youtu.be/LlKnEgPEGmA
|
|-
! Storm of Vengeance
| 9
| Druid
| Conjuration
| V, S
| https://what-if.xkcd.com/93/
|
|-
! Suggestion
| 2
| Bard, Sorcerer, Warlock, Wizard
| Enchantment
| V, M
| https://xkcd.com/672
|
|-
! Sunbeam
| 6
| Druid, Sorcerer, Wizard
| Evocation
| V, S, M
| https://what-if.xkcd.com/141/
|
|-
! Sunburst
| 8
| Druid, Sorcerer, Wizard
| Evocation
| V, S, M
| https://what-if.xkcd.com/115/
|
|-
! Telekinesis
| 5
| Sorcerer, Wizard
| Transmutation
| V, S
| https://what-if.xkcd.com/3/
|
|-
! Telepathic Bond
| 5
| Wizard
| Divination
| V, S, M
| https://xkcd.com/1504/
|
|-
! Thaumaturgy
| 0
| Cleric
| Transmutation
| V
| https://xkcd.com/1131/
|
|-
! Thunderwave
| 1
| Bard, Druid, Sorcerer, Wizard
| Evocation
| V, S
| https://what-if.xkcd.com/140/
|
|-
! Tiny Hut
| 3
| Bard, Wizard
| Evocation
| V, S, M
| https://xkcd.com/905/
|
|-
! Tongues
| 3
| Bard, Cleric, Sorcerer, Warlock, Wizard
| Divination
| V, M
| https://xkcd.com/1137
|
|-
! Tree Stride
| 5
| Druid, Ranger
| Conjuration
| V, S
| https://youtu.be/IDBcGgjtFRs?t=1m3s
|
|-
! True Polymorph
| 9
| Bard, Warlock, Wizard
| Transmutation
| V, S, M
| (no link?)
|
|-
! True Resurrection
| 9
| Cleric, Druid
| Necromancy
| V, S, M
| https://youtu.be/7-n8TZqm9Ic?t=12m36
|
|-
! True Seeing
| 6
| Bard, Cleric, Sorcerer, Warlock, Wizard
| Divination
| V, S, M
| http://geekwagon.net/projects/xkcd1190/
|
|-
! True Strike
| 0
| Bard, Sorcerer, Warlock, Wizard
| Divination
| S
| https://youtu.be/wWOVS0XQmPM?t=12m11s
|
|-
! Unseen Servant
| 1
| Bard, Warlock, Wizard
| Conjuration
| V, S, M
| https://xkcd.com/958/
|
|-
! Vampiric Touch
| 3
| Warlock, Wizard
| Necromancy
| V, S
| https://what-if.xkcd.com/98/
|
|-
! Vicious Mockery
| 0
| Bard
| Enchantment
| V
| https://xkcd.com/732/
|
|-
! Wall of Fire
| 4
| Druid, Sorcerer, Wizard
| Evocation
| V, S, M
| https://www.nasa.gov/mission_pages/fires/main/usa/index.html
|
|-
! Wall of Force
| 5
| Wizard
| Evocation
| V, S, M
| https://what-if.xkcd.com/147/
|
|-
! Wall of Ice
| 6
| Wizard
| Evocation
| V, S, M
| https://what-if.xkcd.com/104/
|
|-
! Wall of Stone
| 5
| Druid, Sorcerer, Wizard
| Evocation
| V, S, M
| https://pubs.usgs.gov/of/2003/of03-001/htmldocs/images/chart.pdf
|
|-
! Wall of Thorns
| 6
| Druid
| Conjuration
| V, S, M
| https://xkcd.com/1970/
|
|-
! Warding Bond
| 2
| Cleric
| Abjuration
| V, S, M
| https://xkcd.com/1188/
|
|-
! Water Breathing
| 3
| Druid, Ranger, Sorcerer, Wizard
| Transmutation
| V, S, M
| https://xkcd.com/969/
|
|-
! Water Walk
| 3
| Cleric, Druid, Ranger, Sorcerer
| Transmutation
| V, S, M
| https://xkcd.com/1599/
|
|-
! Web
| 2
| Sorcerer, Wizard
| Conjuration
| V, S, M
| https://xkcd.com/195/
|
|-
! Weird
| 9
| Wizard
| Illusion
| V, S
| https://xkcd.com/1501/
|
|-
! Wind Walk
| 6
| Druid
| Transmutation
| V, S, M
| https://youtu.be/zpahjcaRt6w?t=12m27s
|
|-
! Wind Wall
| 3
| Druid, Ranger
| Evocation
| V, S, M
| https://what-if.xkcd.com/66/
|
|-
! Wish
| 9
| Sorcerer, Wizard
| Conjuration
| V
| https://xkcd.com/1086/
|
|-
! Zone of Truth
| 2
| Bard, Cleric, Paladin
| Enchantment
| V, S
| http://www.maximumfun.org/shows/adventure-zone
| A reference to the Adventure Zone podcast by the McElroy family, specifically the character Merle Highchurch, who is well known for using this spell in possibly unhelpful situations.
|}

=====Submenu Spells=====
These 9 spells all appear with an arrow and open submenus when hovered on. The submenus are all actually from different parts of the context menu. Several of the spells are "teleportation/transportation" related which might explain why they lead you to a different place in the menu.

{| border =1 width=100% cellpadding=5 class="wikitable"
! Name !! Level !! Classes !! School !! Components !! Submenu !! Explanation
|-
! Antimagic Field
| 8
| Cleric, Wizard
| Abjuration
| V, S M
| Utilities menu
|
|-
! Banishment
| 4
| Cleric, Paladin, Sorcerer, Warlock, Wizard
| Abjuration
| V, S, M
| Do Crimes menu (even without unlocking it via Enable Dark Web)
|
|-
! Blink
| 3
| Sorcerer, Wizard
| Transmutation
| V, S
| Utilities menu
|
|-
! Counterspell
| 3
| Sorcerer, Warlock, Wizard
| Abjuration
| S
| Utilities menu
|
|-
! Delayed Blast Fireball
| 7
| Sorcerer, Wizard
| Evocation
| V, S, M
| Help menu
|
|-
! Dimension Door
| 4
| Bard, Sorcerer, Warlock, Wizard
| Conjuration
| V
| File - Open - C:\ - Bookmarks submenu
|
|-
! Teleportation Circle
| 5
| Bard, Sorcerer, Wizard
| Conjuration
| V, M
| Games menu
|
|-
! Transport via Plants
| 6
| Druid
| Conjuration
| V, S
| Games menu
|
|-
! Word of Recall
| 6
| Cleric
| Conjuration
| V
| Utilities menu
|
|}

=====Effect Spells=====
These 10 spells activate different JavaScript functions that affect the page in various ways, permanent or temporary, that are suggestive of the spell that was cast.

{| border =1 width=100% cellpadding=5 class="wikitable"
! Name !! Level !! Classes !! School !! Components !! Effect !! Explanation
|-
! Acid Splash
| 0
| Sorcerer, Wizard
| Conjuration
| V, S
| Causes the background to change color between red, yellow, chartreuse, blue, fuchsia, and blue-violet randomly every 300ms.
| Using LSD ('acid') often causes vibrant colors to 'splash' and swivel around one's visual field.
|-
! Animate Objects
| 5
| Bard, Sorcerer, Wizard
| Transmutation
| V, S
| Causes most parts of the page to begin shifting in place randomly every 100ms.
| The parts, or "objects" on the page are being "animated".
|-
! Blur
| 2
| Sorcerer, Wizard
| Illusion
| V
| Causes the comic and most text to blur.
| Largely self-explanatory. In D&D, the Blur spell blurs one's body to make it harder to hit. This one blurs the elements on the page.
|-
! Conjure Animals
| 3
| Druid, Ranger
| Conjuration
| V, S
| Adds a rabbit image of a random size next to the comic.
| Conjures an image of an animal.
|-
! Darkness
| 2
| Sorcerer, Warlock, Wizard
| Evocation
| V, M
| Causes the comic to disappear and the background to turn black.
| In D&D, the Darkness spell conjures darkness. This does largely the same thing.
|-
! Darkvision
| 2
| Sorcerer, Wizard, Druid, Ranger
| Transmutation
| V, S, M
| Causes the background to turn gray and the comic to fade. However, it does not appear to work.
|
|-
! Fireball
| 3
| Sorcerer, Wizard
| Evocation
| V, S, M
| Causes the page background to turn red then slowly turn white.
| Fireballs caused by nuclear weapons generally appear reddish-white.
|-
! Mirror Image
| 2
| Sorcerer, Warlock, Wizard
| Illusion
| V, S
| Causes the entire page to be mirrored on the vertical axis.
| Here, Mirror Image "mirrors" the image, instead of conjuring "mirror images" of yourself.
|-
! Symbol
| 7
| Bard, Cleric, Wizard
| Abjuration
| V, S, M
| Changes all text on the page to use Wingdings, Webdings, Symbol, or Zapf Dingbats.
| These are all {{w|dingbat}} fonts which replace text with symbols.
|-
! Time Stop
| 9
| Sorcerer, Wizard
| Transmutation
| V
| Pauses any currently ongoing effects. (But does not cancel them)
| Time Stop is a spell that stops time. This would make sense to stop ongoing effects.
|}

==Transcript==
:[Empty frame with Cueball standing slightly right of center.]

:[Caption below the frame:]
:Editor's Note: Today's comic is optimized for local viewing. To see the full version, just save a copy of the image!

==Trivia==
*On Monday, April 1st, 2019 [[2131: Emojidome]], an April Fools' comic was released, making it look like the missing April Fools' Day comic in 2017 was an [[1818:_Rayleigh_Scattering#No_April_Fools.27_Day_comic_in_2017|outlier]].
*Here is an example of how the game looks when entered:
[[File:1975_Right_Click_Systems_menu.png]]
*This is broken on iPadOS.

{{comic discussion}}



[[Category:Interactive comics]]
[[Category:April fools' comics]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Cueball]]
[[Category:Animals]]
[[Category:Buns]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Beret Guy]]
[[Category:Multiple Cueballs]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Black Hat]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Ponytail]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Hairbun]]
[[Category:Comics with audio]]
[[Category:Chronicles of Narnia]]
[[Category:Dynamic comics]]

687: Dimensional Analysis

2023-11-03T11:51:51Z

Uranium233:

{{comic
| number = 687
| date = January 11, 2010
| title = Dimensional Analysis
| image = dimensional_analysis.png
| titletext = Or the pressure at the Earth's core will rise slightly.
}}

==Explanation==
Cueball has a [[:Category:My Hobby|hobby]]: showing correct calculations according to the {{w|dimensional analysis}}, but with ridiculous correlations of uncorrelated events and measurements. Here Cueball is giving a talk and uses this trick to ''convince'' his listeners that the {{w|Toyota Prius}} combined {{w|United States Environmental Protection Agency|EPA}} gas mileage is somehow connected to the constant ''{{W|Pi|π}}'' via the {{w|Planck energy}}, the pressure at the {{w|Inner_core|Earth's core}} and the width of the {{w|English Channel}}.

Scientists — often physicists — use dimensional analysis to quickly check if a given formula can possibly relate to a physical system, because if you end up with an equation claiming that Joules are meters, something is clearly wrong. Dimensional analysis here refers to the check if both sides of the equation arrive at the same physical unit when the units of all variables get plugged into the equation. This requires knowledge of the system of units and the relation between different physical units. Cueball uses the following equation to make a mockery of the practice:

<math>\frac{\text{Planck energy}}{\text{Pressure at the core of the Earth}} \times \frac{\text{Prius combined EPA gas mileage}}{\text{Minimum width of the English Channel}} = \pi</math>

===Dimensional analysis===
The right hand side is dimensionless, it's the constant ''π'' = 3.14... which is defined by the relation of two lengths, the circumference and the diameter of a circle. The left hand side requires to plug in the dimensions of the named physical quantities:

*Planck energy: given in Joules [J]
*Pressure at the core of the Earth: often given in Pascals [Pa]
** In this case, the relationship is used of 1 Pascal [Pa] = 1 Joule per cubic meter [J/m³]
*Prius combined EPA gas mileage: miles per gallon, given in meters per cubic meter [m/m³]
**Fuel efficiency has two formats that are commonly used: length per volume and volume per length. The former must be used here in order to get the units to cancel correctly.
*Minimum width of the English Channel: given in meters [m]

When plugged into the left-hand side, this amounts to:

<math>\frac{\text{J}}{\frac{\text{J}}{\text{m}^3}} \times \frac{\frac{\text{m}}{\text{m}^3}}{\text{m}} = \text{m}^3 \times \frac{1}{\text{m}^3} = 1</math>

Note that for dimensional analysis constant factors are not taken into account. Here square brackets are used to denote dimensional analysis. In the above equation the unit of energy (joule) as well as all the unit of volume (cubic meter) cancel out each other.

Another aspect of the comic is that sometimes dimension analysis of equations that were not derived but rather "made up" can provide insight. However, in reality such an equation would have to be somehow "motivated", which is more of an art than science and requires great experience in the field the equation should relate to. The presented equation combines values that have no immediate causal relation with each other, so it does not make sense. Furthermore, since the values have absolutely no causal relation to each other, the ratios presented are simple coincidence; despite Cueball's claim, building a better Prius would not cause any changes to the English Channel.

The title text also refers to this, as a higher pressure at Earth's core could also balance the equation, keeping the result constant equal to ''π''. The Planck energy is an absolute, however, so it is not mentioned as a way to balance the next version of Prius.

===Some numbers for this calculation===
The {{w|Planck energy}} is the only nearly exact value we do have. Compared to other Planck values it is very large (macroscopic).
E_planck = 1.956 x 109 J

Pressure at the {{w|Inner_core#Temperature_and_pressure|core}} of the Earth ranges from 330 to 360 gigapascals.
Using a simple value like this:
P_core = 350 GPa = 3.5 x 1011 J/m³

Prius combined {{w|Toyota_Prius#Fuel_economy_and_emissions|EPA gas mileage}}:
For the third generation (from 2010) the [https://www.fueleconomy.gov/feg/Find.do?action=sbs&id=26425 combined EPA gas mileage] is 50 miles per gallon.
50 mpg => 21,000,000 m/m³

Minimum width of the {{w|English Channel}} is about
33.1 km = 33,100 m

Calculating from these values you will get ''π'' = 3.54... that is pretty close to ''π'' = 3.14... while using a Planck value. According to Cueball this will be within the experimental error (the combined error for all four numbers - none are exact numbers). For instance if you tried the ePrius you would may get closer to pi — as the distance per fuel quantity in real life usage usually is somewhat lower than the standardized test value advertised — and that would reduce the result.

[https://www.wolframalpha.com/input/?i=%28Planck+Energy%29%2F%28Pressure+at+the+Earth%27s+core%29*%282010+Prius+combined+EPA+Gas+Mileage%29%2F%2833.1+km%29 Wolfram|Alpha can find most of the statistics and do the calculations.]

==Transcript==
:My Hobby:
:Abusing dimensional analysis

:[On a blackboard.]
:(Planck energy/Pressure at the Earth's core) x (Prius combined EPA gas mileage/Minimum width of the English Channel) = π

:[Cueball indicates this equation with a pointer in front of a class.]
:Cueball: It's correct to within experimental error, and the units check out. It must be a fundamental law.
:Student: But what if they build a better Prius?
:Cueball: ''Then England will drift out to sea.''

{{comic discussion}}

[[Category:Comics featuring Cueball]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Ponytail]]
[[Category:Comics with color]]
[[Category:Comics with inverted brightness]]
[[Category:My Hobby]]
[[Category:Math]]
[[Category:Physics]]
[[Category:Multiple Cueballs]]

1975: Right Click

2023-02-22T12:38:23Z

Uranium233: Added an explanation for Divine Word, Faithful Hound, Fear, Find Familiar, as well as changing "A comic" to "Comic" in the spell chart (standardization yay!)

{{comic
| number = 1975
| date = April 1, 2018
| title = Right Click
| image = right_click.png
| titletext = Right-click or long press (where supported) to save!
}}
*'''NOTE:''' The above is what is seen when viewing the comic on xkcd.
**But it is just the starting point of an interactive comic experience, which begins when you ''Right Click'' the comic. 
**To experience the interactive content, click [https://xkcd.com/1975/ here].
**See an example of what happens in the [[#Trivia|Trivia section]] below.

==Explanation==
{{incomplete|Created by A FIRST BASEMAN NAMED NATURALLY. Lots of explanations and menus missing. Do NOT delete this tag too soon.}}
This was the eighth [[:Category:April fools' comics|April fools' comic]] released by [[Randall]]. The previous April Fool's comic was not from the year before as there was no such comic [[1818:_Rayleigh_Scattering#No_April_Fools.27_Day_comic_in_2017|released in 2017]]. Instead, the previous one was [[1663: Garden]], scheduled for released Friday, April 1st, 2016, but in the end released on [[1663:_Garden#Monday_4th_of_April_release|Monday April 4th]] 2016. The next was [[2131: Emojidome]] released on Monday, April 1st, 2019.

This comic was released on April 1 even though that was [[:Category:Sunday comics|a Sunday]] (only the fourth comic to be released on a Sunday). But it was only due to the April Fool joke, as it did replace the comic that would have been scheduled for Monday, April 2nd. The next comic, [[1976: Friendly Questions]], was first released on Wednesday, April 4th.

At first, the comic seems like the most simplistic xkcd comic possible - [[Cueball]] standing and doing nothing. The "editor's note" tells you to save a copy of the image to "view the full comic".

To save an image from a browser most people would right-click on it (or long-click in mobile devices) which normally leads to a "context menu" allowing several actions related to the image, including saving/downloading. This is what you are encouraged to do by the editorial note as well as by the comic name and title text. However, the context menu opened is not the default context menu of the browser but an elaborate context menu containing many nonsensical options.

At first it also seems impossible to save the image using that menu. However, after exploring the context menu you can find an "easter egg" in one of two different places (see below) which unlocks the save option. This save option gives you a different [https://xkcd.com/1975/v6xso1_right_click_save.png image] than the one you see, which can be thought of as "the full comic" although the meat of the comic is actually in the interactive context menu itself. Note that "cheating" by disabling JavaScript and other methods that allow you to directly save the image won't get you that "full comic" image.

This comic pokes fun at how hard it can be to save an image or to just navigate context menus in some computer programs. The "easter egg hunt" might be related to the fact the comic was released during Easter (which fell on April fool's in 2018). It might also be related to the movie "Ready Player One" which was recently released when the comic was released. In the movie, based on the book by Cline, finding an "easter egg" in a VR world was a central plot point.

The title is reminiscent of one of the first interactive comics [[1110: Click and Drag]], where the title explains what the user should do to experience it. However, that was not a fools' day comic.

The comic uses {{w|JavaScript}} and {{w|HTML5}} to override the standard context menu. Since modern browsers use the same features to integrate Add-ons into that menu, the behavior may be different depending on the browser environment. Browsers with JavaScript disabled, either totally or by using {{w|NoScript}}, won't access the functionality of the comic, but of course can easily save the image (not "the full version" but the image that is seen initially).

The manipulated context menu is described [[#Context menu|below]].

==Context menu==

===Main Context Menu===
{| border =1 width=100% cellpadding=5 class="wikitable"
! # !! Menu Item !! Explanation !! Sub-Menu Items
|-
!1
| '''Save'''
| Only appears after getting one of the two easter eggs that can be found in the menu - in the games ADVENT.EXE and Mornington Crescent (see their explanations below).
| Save image> Views the image the first time you click, then downloads this image on every visit after that. [https://xkcd.com/1975/v6xso1_right_click_save.png]. The image includes a spheroid object near the top right-hand corner which appears to exhibit red shift and green shift, suggesting that it is rotating rapidly.

|-
! 2
| '''File'''
| Normal submenu
|Close: Closes menu, does nothing.
Open: A:\, C:\, / (See more [[#Filesystems Menu|below]])

Find: Where, When, How, (grayed out) What, (grayed out) Why, Who.

'Where' leads to four options. The first, 'computer', has two options ('folder' and 'menus'), which link back to the 'find' and right-click menus, respectively. "Narnia" leads to a link to the comic [[665: Prudence]] as well as to a grey comment about how it's weird that "they" have to die to go back to Narnia.
"Canada" and "America" lead to the same set of bizarre menus (America leads into Canada's menu), which then give the options 'Upper' and 'Lower', ultimately leading to a drive-through and hockey, respectively.

'When' leads to a description of Siri entering someone's home, and the menu can be followed to reveal several further events from 'earlier' in the day. The last one ('a bottle of jack and a toothbrush') is likely a reference to the song 'Tik Tok' by Kesha.

'How' simply leads to an exclamation of 'How!?'.

'What' is grayed out.

'Why' links to [http://itisamystery.com/], ''technically'' answering the question of "Why?"

'Who' leads to a menu version of the Abbot and Costello "Who's on First?" routine, which eventually links to a [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kTcRRaXV-fg&feature=youtu.be youtube video] of the routine. As of April 4th, a second submenu has been added, which contains Slappy and Skippy's "Who's on Stage?" parody of the previous routine, which also eventually leads to its [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Mdqv5xIsFLM youtube video].

Backup: Causes the area around the comic to flash red 9 times, with high-pitch sounds reminiscent of a truck backing up. Reminiscent of the Sinclair Spectrum SAVE to tape command, which would flash the border and modulate the speaker.

Save: Only available after the save menu is unlocked after one of the two Easter Eggs is found, allows a download of a bonus comic, same as clicking the save option from the main menu.

|-
! 3
| '''Edit'''
| Enables a mode allowing the user to draw on the webpage. You can draw multiple scribbles, however, they will automatically connect together. Pressing Esc asks "Aw, that looks nice though. Really delete?" and the page returns to normal if OK is clicked.
| None
|-
! 4
| '''System'''
| Normal submenu
|Shut Down> Changes the only menu option to "Power on", then once that is used, the system returns to normal.

/ (See [[#Table - Filesystems Menu|below]])
|-
! 5
| '''View'''
| Normal submenu
|Cascade>Links to [http://wiki.xkcd.com/geohashing/Mt._St._Helens,_Washington]

Tile> Links to [[245: Floor Tiles]]

Minimize> Changes pointer to a smaller pointer.

Full Screen> Enters full screen.
|-
! 6
| '''Utilities'''
| Normal submenu
|Park drives> Nothing.

Check space usage> (cannot click) Space usage: -Dark matter -Hydrogen -Helium -Scattered clumps of heavier elements -Stars -Rocks -Some space probes -Earth

Spell check> English (links to [[1069: Alphabet]]) and Colors (links to [https://blog.xkcd.com/2010/05/03/color-survey-results/])

Train AI> links to [[1838: Machine Learning]]

Identify song> opens a long word-by-word menu for song lyrics; it's actually a menu-ised version of [[851: Na]].

Advanced> several Unix commands, all absurd (or dangerous) for some reason:
* <code>apt-get install /dev/null</code>: <code>apt-get</code> is the standard package manager used in Debian-derived Linux distributions (including Ubuntu); it is normally used to install software; <code>/dev/null</code> is the "bit-bucket" device on any Unix system, which can be used as a dummy output file to discard output or as a dummy empty input file. This command would attempt to install <code>/dev/null</code> (which is a device, not a package!) or, more correctly, would try to install a package reading its data from <code>/dev/null</code> (if <code>apt-get</code> is given a file name it tries to interpret it as a .deb package), which is obviously impossible.
* <code>brew install apt-get</code>: <code>brew</code> is a third-party package manager for macOS; it is generally used to install "missing" open-source utilities on a macOS system; the command is attempting to install the aforementioned <code>apt-get</code>, which is both impossible (<code>apt-get</code> doesn't run on macOS) and hilariously recursive (did you install a package manager - brew - to install another one?). Even if this were possible, the package would have been called <code>apt</code>, as apt-get is only one of the commands in the package manager.
* <code>/usr/local/bin/wine xen-hypervisor.exe</code>: <code>wine</code> is a compatibility layer used to run Windows executables on Linux (and on macOS); the fact that it is in <code>/usr/local</code> hints that it has been manually compiled on this machine; Xen is a Linux-based hypervisor, i.e. a software used to run and manage virtual machines over a Linux host, but the .exe suffix here hints that it is a Windows executable. The command would try to launch a Windows build of a Linux-based virtual machine manager on a Unix machine through a Windows emulation layer (wine).
* <code>source .bash_history</code>: the <code>source</code> shell command reads the file that is given as argument and executes each of its rows as a command in the current shell, roughly as if you typed them in; <code>.bash_history</code> (located in the user home directory) is the file where the bash shell saves the history of the commands that have been run. This command would re-run all the commands that have been typed in the shell.
* <code>rm -rf $DIRECTROY/*</code>: <code>rm -rf</code> deletes recursively and forcefully the paths it is given as arguments; <code>$DIRECTROY</code> is a shell variable, probably containing some directory that whoever typed in this command wanted to clean; however, it is misspelled (it says <code>$DIRECTROY</code>, not <code>$DIRECTORY</code>), and, due to how POSIX shell work, it is thus expanded to an empty string; so, the command becomes <code>rm -rf /*</code>, which deletes all the files and directories in the root of the disk, effectively killing the system instead of just deleting the content of some directory. Notice that this particular misspell manages to circumvent the builtin protection of many <code>rm</code> versions, which refuse to do a plain <code>rm -rf /</code>, as <code>/*</code> gets expanded by the shell, so <code>rm</code> never has the chance to see explicitly that you are killing all the data in the root directory.
* <code>:(){:|:&};:</code>: this is [https://askubuntu.com/q/159491/208527 a classic shell fork bomb], i.e. a small program that keeps launching copies of itself until all resources have been exhausted or the user somehow manages to kill all its copies.
* <code>echo "source .bashrc" >> .bashrc</code>: <code>.bashrc</code> is a file that gets executed whenever the <code>bash</code> shell is started in interactive mode; this command appends the string <code>source .bashrc</code> to it, which effectively executes it again recursively; this would pretty much make it impossible to open an interactive shell when launching it with the default parameters.
* <code>alias gcc=php</code>: the <code>alias</code> shell builtin create an alias for another command; <code>gcc</code> is the GNU C compiler driver, which is used to compile programs written in the C language; <code>php</code> is the command-line interpreter for the PHP language. This line creates an alias such that when typing <code>gcc</code>, <code>php</code> is actually invoked, which would generate completely absurd error messages. This is doubly devious, as PHP isn't generally held in high esteem by large part of the programming community (especially by someone writing stuff in C).

* <code>'); DROP TABLE Menus;--</code> links to [[327: Exploits of a Mom]]
|-
! 7
| '''Games'''
| Normal submenu
| Twenty Questions> A Twenty Questions interface that gets really confusing. There are links to Bing image searches for '[https://www.bing.com/images/search?q=okapi&FORM=HDRSC2 okapi]', '[https://www.bing.com/images/search?q=pronghorn&FORM=HDRSC2 pronghorn]', '[https://www.bing.com/images/search?q=eland&FORM=HDRSC2 eland]', '[https://www.bing.com/images/search?q=baribusa&FORM=HDRSC2 baribusa]', '[https://www.bing.com/images/search?q=musk%20deer&FORM=HDRSC2 musk deer]' and '[https://www.bing.com/images/search?q=ibex&FORM=HDRSC2 ibex]'. The game also contains some extremely large cans of creamed corn (a reference to [[1807: Listening]]).

Rock Paper Scissors> A Rock Paper Scissors game where the computer always matches your move. If you go long enough, the Defect option is added, a reference to the [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Prisoner%27s_dilemma Prisoner's Dilemma].

D&D> An interface that allows you to "cast" over 300 spells from D&D 5e. Several menus are used to filter the spells based on their traits: class which can learn the spell, the school of the spell, the spell level, and components required to perform it (somatic, vocal, material). The traits can be chosen in any order. After all six traits are chosen a submenu opens with all of the spells that match those exact traits (which might be no spells at all).

Most spells link to various pages, including xkcd comics (e.g. [[1331: Frequency]]), what-ifs (e.g. {{what if|144|Saliva Pool}}) and other external sites (e.g. [https://www.nasa.gov/sun The Sun | NASA]). Some spells create effects that change the comic page temporarily or permanently, and some open submenus from different parts of the context menu.

See [[#D&D spells|below]] for all links and effects.

ADVENT.EXE> A text-based adventure game. If played correctly, you can win, unlocking 'Save'>'Save image' from the beginning menu, which links to [https://xkcd.com/1975/v6xso1_right_click_save.png].

The first scene allows you a choice between exploring a dark cave or a castle. If you explore the cave first you get the following description: "It's pitch black. You're likely to be eaten by a grue". This is a reference to a text adventure game called [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Zork Zork], where [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Grue_(monster) Grues] are monsters who dwell in the dark and eat human explorers, making it impossible to explore dark areas. The same description often appears when you enter a dark area without a light source in Zork and other related games.

If you ignore the warning and go deeper, you are given one more warning ("You're deep in a cave. Something, possibly this very sentence, tells you it would be dangerous to go any further"). If you ignore that too and keep going, you fall into a pit. Several options are given to try and rescue yourself (or alternatively "resign to your fate" or deny you are in a pit [You also may try to cause a distraction by saying "Look behind you! A three-headed monkey!" This may be a reference to the Curse of Monkey Island, where Guybrush Threepwood distracts characters by saying the same line.]) but all lead to "you've been eaten by a grue". Being eaten by a grue seems to be an irreversible condition - if you exit the context menu and enter ADVENT.EXE again, you are given no options and are told again that "you've been eaten by a grue". Apparently only refreshing the page cancels that.

Exploring the castle is a much safer option to begin with. The main castle scene has a door, a well, and stairs that go up to the tower. The door is locked, and trying to break it is futile.

The well is a wishing well. Examining it allows for several options:
* Examine the sign - it reads "Dark! Narrow! Scary! Well of Three Features". This is a reference to [http://zelda.wikia.com/wiki/Well_of_Three_Features the well of three features] from The Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time.
* Wish for... - this one has a lot of options, some of which are links to comics or What If pages and some lead to further submenus:
** World peace - leads to the answer "I'm just a well, can you scale it down a bit?" and then back to the well menu; this option is from now changed to "Inner peace", which gives "A feeling of calm washes over you." and "Ommmmmm...", which also goes back to the well menu
** More wishes - leads back to the "Wish for..." menu. The idea of using a wish to wish for more wishes is common when discussing things with wish-granting powers and was previously mentioned in [[1086: Eyelash Wish Log]].
** Fewer wishes - Tell you "Really? Okay.." (as this is not something most people would ask for{{Citation needed}}). If you continue you return to the "Examine well" menu. If you want to make a wish again (even after exiting the menu and coming back again) you can only wish for "more wishes" and then you can continue wishing normally.
** Happiness - links to [[572: Together]], a comic about getting "happiness" as a scavenger hunt item.
** Luck - links to [[1053: Ten Thousand]] which refers to hearing about commonly known things for the first time as being one of "today's lucky 10,000".
** Wisdom - You hear a voice whisper 'N, E, N, N, N, W, S, W'. This is a clue for later.
** Wealth - Links to the what if article {{what if|111|All the Money}}, which might explain what will happen if the wishing well "overgrants" your wish.
** A human-sized hamster ball - links to [[152: Hamster Ball]] where [[Cueball]] wishes for the same thing.
** A map of everything - links to [[1196: Subways]], a map of the subways of North America, which are apparently "everything" for Americans.
** True love - links to {{what if|9|Soul Mates}}.
** A kitty! - links to [[231: Cat Proximity]], a comic detailing the effect of cats on humans.
* Jump in - Allows you to swim (and later "just keep swimming..." indefinitely) or climb out and return to the "Examine well" menu.
* Pull up the bucket - "You reel in the bucket. There's something shiny in the bottom". If you examine the bucket you get a key!

After you have the key, if you go back to the castle you can now use the key on the locked door and enter a dungeon. In the dungeon, there is a clamp on a table that you can take.

Finally, in the tower, you can find a "strange machine" dubbed a "C-Remover". You can try to use the C-Remover on any item you got. It doesn't affect the key, but it does turn the clamp into a lamp! The C-remover is a reference to either the T-remover from [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Leather_Goddesses_of_Phobos Leather Goddess of Phobos] or the multi-letter remover from [http://emshort.com/counterfeit_monkey/ Counterfeit Monkey], a text adventure by Emily Short inspired by it.

After you have the lamp, entering the cave becomes safer. It now becomes "a maze of twisty passages, all alike" where each room allows going N, E, S, or W, normally leading to an identical room. Only by using the clue from the wish for "wisdom" in the well and going N, E, N, N, N, W, S, W you can navigate the maze successfully. When following that path, after the first "W" the options become N, S, and Dennis instead of the usual N, E, S, W; this is a reference to the text-based game [http://www.hrwiki.org/wiki/Thy_Dungeonman Thy Dungeonman] found in a Strong Bad email from [http://homestarrunner.com homestarrunner.com].

If you follow the full path you find the center of the maze where there is a nest with a "large multicolored egg" (an easter egg!). If you take the egg you are told "You feel a sense of potential, as if you may have more options now". This is because the "save" options are now unlocked in the main context menu and the file menu!

Hoverboard> Links to [[1608: Hoverboard]] browser game.

Mornington Crescent> This is a simulation of the well-known game {{W|Mornington_Crescent_(game)|Mornington Crescent}}, which bears a surprising resemblance to {{W|London_Underground|London's Underground}} railway network. Players name a station, in turn, endeavoring to reach Mornington Crescent. The rules of play are very complicated and beyond the scope of this article; interested persons are referred to ''N. F. Stovold’s Mornington Crescent: Rules and Origins'' (sadly out of print). In this variation, one may reach 'Vauxhall'>'Easter basket'>'Take egg', also allowing you to save. The shortest path to the Easter basket is: Euston / Warren Street / Oxford Circus / Green Park / Victoria / Pimlico / Vauxhall / Easter basket

All playable stations are immediately adjacent on the London Underground network to the station last played. Despite the fact that this version of the game starts at Euston, which is adjacent to Mornington Crescent, the branch of the {{W|Northern_line|Northern line}} on which the {{W|Mornington_Crescent_tube_station|eponymous station}} is situated does not appear in the game.
|-
! 8
| '''Help'''
| Contains various submenus, all of which, barring Credits, loop back recursively to this menu:
|Tutorial
Support

Manual

Troubleshooting

FAQ

Guide

Q&A

User forums

--------------

Credits> 'Some people who helped with this comic:
[http://chromakode.com/ @chromakode]
[https://twitter.com/aiiane Amber]
[https://twitter.com/fadinginterest @fadinginterest]
[https://twitter.com/wirehead2501 Kat]
[https://twitter.com/cotrone Kevin]
[http://90d.ca/ Stereo]'
|-
! 9
| '''Do Crimes'''
| Contains several "crimes" that can be committed. This option is unlocked by File > Open > C:\ (or /home/user) > Bookmarks/ > Secret > Enable Dark Web.
This is a joke about how the dark web is perceived in popular culture - a place that exists solely to do crimes, mainly bitcoin and hacking related.
| Steal Bitcoins > Grayed out.
Say swears > Several clean swears that all link to [[771: Period Speech]].

Hack > Three sub-options that link to various related comics. (Gibson: Nothing. Election: [[1019: First Post]]. Planet: [[1337: Hack]].)

Forge a Scrabble Tile > Several sub-options that don't do anything. (U, Z, <this menu option intentionally left blank>, and two special characters, one being a Russian 'Э', as low-pitched [eh], and the second being a crossed swords emoji (⚔)
|}

====Filesystems Menu====

{| border =1 width=100% cellpadding=5 class="wikitable"
! Drive !! Menu Item !! Explanation !! Sub-Menu Items
|-
! A:\
| '''Insert'''
| Only appears before inserting a floppy disk.
|Floppy disk> Unlocks other options for drive A:\, which are identical to drive C:\
Chip card> A long sequence of being told 'Please wait. Authorizing...' ending in 'Chip error! REMOVE CARD NOW!'
|-
! C:\
| '''Documents/'''
| Nothing.
| None.
|-
! C:\
| '''Music/'''
| Leads to a long string of prompts for song lyrics. 'Hey now / Hey now na now / Sing "This Corrosion" to me' inverts the webpage's color before Easter egg mode is enabled, and plays the referenced song in the browser with inverted color and flashing if the Easter egg mode is enabled. It's actually the same menu that is shown under Utilities>Identify song (which itself is a menu-ised version of [[851: Na]]).
| 'Hey now / Hey now / Don't dream it's over' links to [[240: Dream Girl]]. 'This / is / a / story all about how / my life got flipped, turned upside down' links to [[464: RBA]]. 'This / is / the / story of a girl / who cried a river and drowned the whole world' links to a Youtube video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8_FVAEYRM5I
|-
! C:\
| '''Bookmarks/'''
| Similar to Music/, Bookmarks/> Comics leads to a chain from which many comics are titled and linked. Probably all comics actually. For instance, he thus here recognizes his first April Fools' comic [[404: Not Found]], which cannot be found, as a real comic by linking to it. Bookmarks/> Secret> Enable Dark Web adds the 'Dark Web' option to the initial menu.
|-
! C:\
| '''Games/'''
| Same as 'Games' from the initial menu.
|-
! C:\
| '''Sequences/'''
| The options are the lines from a ''Tim and Eric'' sketch [http://knowyourmeme.com/memes/celery-man Celery Man]; the final option links to a YouTube video of the sketch.
| After several single-option menus, it links to this Youtube video. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MHWBEK8w_YY
|-
! /
| '''home/'''
| Nothing.
| guest> links to http://uni.xkcd.com/ - a command-line Unix-style interface for viewing xkcd comics (and other commands to discover) that was used as the April Fool's joke in 2010. See also [[UniXKCD]].

user> Same files as C:\

root> Displays 'You are not in the sudoers file. This incident will be reported.' Which is what the sudo command will print if unauthorized users try to use it.
|-
! /
| '''opt/'''
| Does nothing.
| None.
|-
! /
| '''sbin/'''
| Does nothing.
| None.
|-
! /
| '''usr/'''
| Opens an infinite sequence of options, each similar to the last, but replacing the previous selection with another folder; probably a reference to the fact that [https://www.tldp.org/LDP/Linux-Filesystem-Hierarchy/html/usr.html the /usr hierarchy] does contain a list of subdirectories pretty much identical [https://www.tldp.org/LDP/Linux-Filesystem-Hierarchy/html/the-root-directory.html to those of the root directory]. /usr/local, too is a duplicate of /usr for files not originating with the distro, and of late /var and /opt have also started expanding.
|-
! /
| '''dev/'''
| Nothing.
|random/> links to a random xkcd comic. In unix systems reading from the /dev/random file generates pseudorandom bytes, so it fits here that /dev/random gives a random comic.
urandom/> links to [[221: Random Number]]. In unix systems, /dev/urandom is the same as /dev/random, except in /dev/random you don't get anything if you don't have sufficient "randomness" in the system, and in /dev/urandom you get whatever you have. The linked comic describes a botched attempt to create a function that would return a truly random number but actually, it returns a fixed number (and thus isn't useful at all). This alludes to /dev/urandom providing bad results sometimes.
|}

====D&D spells====
Here all the spells from the "d&d" game are detailed, including the traits you need to enter to get to them and the link they lead to/effect they create.

To get to a specific spell using this table you need to go to games->d&d->cast and then enter the traits - level, class, school, and components - in any order. Note that many spells list more than one class in the table (in d&d it means multiple classes can cast that spell), which means you need to choose one of those classes in the menu. Components are listed in the table as V for Verbal Components, S for Somatic Components and M for Material Components - choose "yes" or "no" for these based on whether the matching letter is there or not.

=====Link Spells=====
The vast majority of spells (285 of them apparently) are actually links to xkcd comics, what ifs, or external pages that somehow demonstrate or relate to the spell.

{| border =1 width=100% cellpadding=5 class="wikitable"
! Name !! Level !! Classes !! School !! Components !! Link !! Explanation
|-
! Acid Arrow
| 2
| Wizard
| Evocation
| V, S, M
| https://xkcd.com/790/
| The comic is about giving LSD (commonly known as "acid") to test subjects
|-
! Aid
| 2
| Cleric, Paladin
| Abjuration
| V, S, M
| http://donorschoose.org
| A site dedicated to donations - aiding various subjects
|-
! Alarm
| 1
| Ranger, Wizard
| Abjuration
| V, S, M
| https://xkcd.com/1359/
| Comic about phone alarm
|-
! Alter Self
| 2
| Sorcerer, Wizard
| Transmutation
| V, S
| https://xkcd.com/1099/
| In this comic beret guy is "altered" in a weird way
|-
! Animal Friendship
| 1
| Bard, Druid, Ranger
| Enchantment
| V, S, M
| https://xkcd.com/1746/
| Comic about making friends in a way that might attract some animals better than humans
|-
! Animal Messenger
| 2
| Bard, Druid, Ranger
| Enchantment
| V, S, M
| https://twitter.com/dog_rates
| A humorous Twitter page about "rating dogs" - in a way "messaging about" animals
|-
! Animal Shapes
| 8
| Druid
| Transmutation
| V, S
| https://xkcd.com/1278/
| Comic about using genetic engineering to change an animal (in this case a giraffe) shape
|-
! Animate Dead
| 3
| Cleric, Wizard
| Necromancy
| V, S, M
| http://www.asofterworld.com/index.php?id=62
| They were once dead.
|-
! Arcane Eye
| 4
| Wizard
| Divination
| V, S, M
| https://xkcd.com/993/
| The comic is related to creating a brand by having products that "stand out" and are therefore "more visible"
|-
! Astral Projection
| 9
| Cleric, Warlock, Wizard
| Necromancy
| V, S, M
| https://xkcd.com/977/
| Comic about map projections
|-
! Augury
| 2
| Cleric
| Divination
| V, S, M
| https://xkcd.com/1334/
| The comic is about checking the second page of google results for answers, which might be parallelized to reading omens in the spell.
|-
! Awaken
| 5
| Bard, Druid
| Transmutation
| V, S, M
| https://xkcd.com/1518/
| Comic about awakening... badly to an alarm sound
|-
! Bane
| 1
| Bard, Cleric
| Enchantment
| V, S, M
| https://xkcd.com/972/
| The comic details a simple exploit by blackhat, the bane of everyone's existence
|-
! Barkskin
| 2
| Druid, Ranger
| Transmutation
| V, S, M
| https://youtu.be/qFI4BQlBbig
| A video by "My Brother, My Brother and Me" where a person creates a "shitty iron man armor", parallel to the armor created by barkskin
|-
! Beacon of Hope
| 3
| Cleric
| Abjuration
| V, S
| https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Svalbard_Global_Seed_Vault
| Link to the wikipedia page about the global seed vault, which is meant to function as "a beacon of hope" in case of global disaster.
|-
! Bestow Curse
| 3
| Bard, Cleric, Wizard
| Necromancy
| V, S
| https://xkcd.com/214/
| The comic talks about "the problem of wikipedia" which can be time-waster to curious people. This can also be rephrased as "the curse of wikipedia"
|-
! Black Tentacles
| 4
| Wizard
| Conjuration
| V, S, M
| https://xkcd.com/1926/
| The comic is about an "ugly mess of code" which can be compared to a tentacle mess
|-
! Blade Barrier
| 6
| Cleric
| Evocation
| V, S
| https://xkcd.com/1406/
| The comic is about a "universal converted" which can be thought of as a kind of barrier
|-
! Bless
| 1
| Cleric, Paladin
| Enchantment
| V, S, M
| https://what-if.xkcd.com/55/
| A what if article about saying "bless you" to random people on the phone, hoping they just sneezed
|-
! Blight
| 4
| Druid, Sorcerer, Warlock, Wizard
| Necromancy
| V, S
| https://xkcd.com/1807/
| Another exploit by black hat
|-
! Blindness/Deafness
| 2
| Bard, Cleric, Sorcerer, Wizard
| Necromancy
| V
| https://xkcd.com/467/
| Comic related to "two girls one cup", a well-known shock video which might make people wish they were blind after seeing it
|-
! Branding Smite
| 2
| Paladin
| Evocation
| V
| https://xkcd.com/384/
| (Can thunder make intelligent?)
|-
! Burning Hands
| 1
| Sorcerer, Wizard
| Evocation
| V, S
| https://xkcd.com/1296/
| Git messages become increasingly similar to a person on fire typing them and also relate to haaaannds
|-
! Call Lightning
| 3
| Druid
| Conjuration
| V, S
| https://what-if.xkcd.com/16/
| A what if with several lightning-related questions
|-
! Calm Emotions
| 2
| Bard, Cleric
| Enchantment
| V, S
| https://twitter.com/CuteEmergency
| Twitter page about cute dogs that might indeed calm your emotions
|-
! Chain Lightning
| 6
| Sorcerer, Wizard
| Evocation
| V, S, M
| https://xkcd.com/898/
| Comic about the chain of command
|-
! Charm Person
| 1
| Bard, Druid, Sorcerer, Warlock, Wizard
| Enchantment
| V, S
| https://xkcd.com/1777/
| Comic about the Nigerian Scan, which can be thought of as a way to "charm" people into doing what you want (like other scams)
|-
! Chill Touch
| 0
| Sorcerer, Warlock, Wizard
| Necromancy
| V, S
| https://xkcd.com/1108/
| Comic about a cautionary ghost, similar to the ghostly hand the spell creates
|-
! Circle of Death
| 6
| Sorcerer, Warlock, Wizard
| Necromancy
| V, S, M
| https://xkcd.com/1674/
| Comic about doing "adult stuff" including writing a will
|-
! Clairvoyance
| 3
| Bard, Cleric, Sorcerer, Wizard
| Divination
| V, S, M
| https://xkcd.com/1421/
| Comic about discovering a creepily clairvoyant comment from your "past self" in your code
|-
! Clone
| 8
| Wizard
| Necromancy
| V, S, M
| https://xkcd.com/1597/
| Comic about git - "clone" is a common git command.
|-
! Cloudkill
| 5
| Sorcerer, Wizard
| Conjuration
| V, S
| https://what-if.xkcd.com/8/
| Human crowd
|-
! Color Spray
| 1
| Sorcerer, Wizard
| Illusion
| V, S, M
| https://xkcd.com/1882/
| Comic about color
|-
! Command
| 1
| Cleric, Paladin
| Enchantment
| V
| https://xkcd.com/857/
| Comic about a man making a famous phrase by Archimedes into a command with an ultimatum
|-
! Commune
| 5
| Cleric
| Divination
| V, S, M
| https://youtu.be/7yxaKeRRypo?t=44s
| Tried to snipe but turned into laughs
|-
! Commune with Nature
| 5
| Druid, Ranger
| Divination
| V, S
| https://youtu.be/BOxRFMiSDZU?t=9m47s
| Suddenly, Dino-Lansbury.
|-
! Comprehend Languages
| 1
| Bard, Sorcerer, Warlock, Wizard
| Divination
| V, S, M
| https://xkcd.com/1816/
| Comic about language weirdness and puns
|-
! Compulsion
| 4
| Bard
| Enchantment
| V, S
| https://xkcd.com/609/
| Comic about TVTropes, which might create a compulsion to follow links and stay there for a long time
|-
! Cone of Cold
| 5
| Sorcerer, Wizard
| Evocation
| V, S, M
| https://xkcd.com/1714/
| Comic about volcanoes, which are actually cones of heat usually (the "waffle cone" volcano in the comic is probably cold)
|-
! Confusion
| 4
| Bard, Druid, Sorcerer, Wizard
| Enchantment
| V, S, M
| https://xkcd.com/1969/
| Comic presents a way to confuse people by setting to "not found" page of your site to a "not available in your country" page
|-
! Conjure Woodland Beings
| 4
| Druid, Ranger
| Conjuration
| V, S, M
| https://xkcd.com/1903/
| Comic about "buns" (rabbits) which are woodland beings
|-
! Contact Other Plane
| 5
| Warlock, Wizard
| Divination
| V
| https://xkcd.com/1889/
| Comic from the "[[xkcd Phone]]" series. With all their features, surely xkcd phones can contact other planes...
|-
! Contagion
| 5
| Cleric, Druid
| Necromancy
| V, S
| https://xkcd.com/1161/
| Comic about hand sanitizer, which is meant to prevent contagion, but maybe not as effectively as [[Cueball]] would like.
|-
! Contingency
| 6
| Wizard
| Evocation
| V, S, M
| https://xkcd.com/140/
| Comic about how one gets cheese when they have chips and chips when they have cheese, a situation in which one condition triggers a contingency and vice versa.
|-
! Continual Flame
| 2
| Cleric, Wizard
| Evocation
| V, S, M
| https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/John_F._Kennedy_Eternal_Flame
| Wikipedia about eternal (continual) flame
|-
! Control Water
| 4
| Cleric, Druid, Wizard
| Transmutation
| V,S,M
| https://what-if.xkcd.com/103/
| What if article about water disappearing
|-
! Control Weather
| 8
| Cleric, Druid, Wizard
| Transmutation
| V, S, M
| https://xkcd.com/1126/
| Comic about the weirdness of the weather in 2005
|-
! Create Food and Water
| 3
| Cleric, Paladin
| Conjuration
| V, S
| https://xkcd.com/1774/
| Comic about food in supermarkets
|-
! Create or Destroy Water
| 1
| Cleric, Druid
| Transmutation
| V, S, M
| https://what-if.xkcd.com/103/
| What if article about water disappearing (Same as in "control water" - actually more fitting here)
|-
! Create Undead
| 6
| Cleric, Warlock, Wizard
| Necromancy
| V, S, M
| https://what-if.xkcd.com/69/
| What if about the dead users in Facebook who are compared to "undead" in a comic image at the start of the article
|-
! Creation
| 5
| Sorcerer, Wizard
| Illusion
| V, S, M
| https://youtu.be/_hH7vZF15SY
| "Monster Factory" episode which is a gameplay video of the game spore which is about the creation of a species and a civilization. "Creating" is also in the video title.
|-
! Cure Wounds
| 1
| Bard, Cleric, Druid, Paladin, Ranger
| Evocation
| V, S
| https://xkcd.com/1618/
| Comic about trying to cure a pretty bad cold
|-
! Dancing Lights
| 0
| Bard, Sorcerer, Wizard
| Evocation
| V, S, M
| https://xkcd.com/1331/
| Comic that shows frequencies of different events in the form of blinking ("dancing") gifs ("lights")
|-
! Daylight
| 3
| Cleric, Druid, Paladin, Ranger, Sorcerer
| Evocation
| V, S
| https://xkcd.com/673/
| Comic about "daylight saving time"
|-
! Death Ward
| 4
| Cleric, Paladin
| Abjuration
| V, S
| https://xkcd.com/865/
| In the comic IPv6 functions as a sort of "death ward" against nanobots, buying us some time before the total annihilation of life on earth.
|-
! Demiplane
| 8
| Warlock, Wizard
| Conjuration
| S
| https://xkcd.com/1703/
|
|-
! Detect Evil and Good
| 1
| Cleric, Paladin
| Divination
| V, S
| https://xkcd.com/256/
| A map of internet communities, with the good and bad parts.
|-
! Detect Magic
| 1
| Bard, Cleric, Druid, Paladin, Ranger, Sorcerer, Wizard
| Divination
| V, S
| https://xkcd.com/808/
| An economic argument that "detects" what crazy "magic" phenomenon actually works and what doesn't.
|-
! Detect Poison and Disease
| 1
| Cleric, Druid, Paladin, Ranger
| Divination
| V, S, M
| https://xkcd.com/802/
| Updated version of "map of online communities" which was linked to from "detect good and evil", again suggesting that online communities are full of "poison and disease".
|-
! Detect Thoughts
| 2
| Bard, Sorcerer, Wizard
| Divination
| V, S, M
| https://xkcd.com/1448/
| A note asking someone about their thoughts (or feelings)
|-
! Disguise Self
| 1
| Bard, Sorcerer, Wizard
| Illusion
| V, S
| https://xkcd.com/451/
| Comic about being an impostor and "disguising" yourself as an expert in a field.
|-
! Disintegrate
| 6
| Sorcerer, Wizard
| Transmutation
| V, S, M
| https://what-if.xkcd.com/1/
| The very first what if, where a baseball is pitched at 90% of the speed of light and begins to disintegrate... In a nuclear explosion
|-
! Dispel Evil and Good
| 5
| Cleric, Paladin
| Abjuration
| V, S, M
| https://what-if.xkcd.com/5/
| What-if about a contemporary robot apocalypse ("evil") and how to "dispel" it.
|-
! Dispel Magic
| 3
| Bard, Cleric, Druid, Paladin, Sorcerer, Warlock, Wizard
| Abjuration
| V, S
| https://xkcd.com/109/
| Comic about spoilers who "dispel the magic" of watching some movies.
|-
! Divination
| 4
| Cleric
| Divination
| V, S, M
| https://xkcd.com/1525/
| xkcd's version of the magic 8 ball, a toy/tool for divination
|-
! Divine Favor
| 1
| Paladin
| Evocation
| V, S
| https://xkcd.com/1575/
| Comic parodying the Christian poem "footprints" which is about divine favor
|-
! Divine Word
| 7
| Cleric
| Evocation
| V
| https://xkcd.com/741/
| Comic about content producing, some of which may be divine words
|-
! Dominate Beast
| 4
| Druid, Sorcerer
| Enchantment
| V, S
| https://xkcd.com/1934/
| Comic about excessive phone security settings that "dominate" the thief in a way
|-
! Dominate Monster
| 8
| Bard, Sorcerer, Warlock, Wizard
| Enchantment
| V, S
| https://youtu.be/JgChfrBsEaI
| "Monster factory" episode about "creating the Shrek franchise" - which is about a monster - in spore.
|-
! Dominate Person
| 5
| Bard, Sorcerer, Wizard
| Enchantment
| V, S
| https://xkcd.com/1116/
| Comic about confusing traffic light which can "dominate" a person.
|-
! Dream
| 5
| Bard, Warlock, Wizard
| Illusion
| V, S, M
| https://xkcd.com/557/
| Comic about the common "not ready for school" dream
|-
! Druidcraft
| 0
| Druid
| Transmutation
| V, S
| https://xkcd.com/867/
| Comic about branches of zoology - zoology can be thought of as "druidcraft"
|-
! Earthquake
| 8
| Cleric, Druid, Sorcerer
| Evocation
| V, S, M
| https://blog.xkcd.com/2011/08/24/earthquakes/
| Blog post about earthquakes
|-
! Eldritch Blast
| 0
| Warlock
| Evocation
| V, S
| https://xkcd.com/356/
| Comic about "nerd sniping", an unconventional sort of "blast" for "hitting" nerds
|-
! Enhance Ability
| 2
| Bard, Cleric, Druid, Sorcerer
| Transmutation
| V, S, M
| https://youtu.be/YLg_aIlhe6I?t=23m33s
| "Monster factory" episode about the stars recreating themselves in a WWE videogame, in a way "enhancing their abilities"
|-
! Entangle
| 1
| Druid
| Conjuration
| V, S
| https://xkcd.com/257/
| Comic about code encryption, which adds complexity similar to an entanglement
|-
! Enthrall
| 2
| Bard, Warlock
| Enchantment
| V, S
| https://xkcd.com/1286/
| Comic about improperly encrypted passwords, similar to the "distracting string of words" in the spell description
|-
! Etherealness
| 7
| Bard, Cleric, Sorcerer, Warlock, Wizard
| Transmutation
| V, S
| https://xkcd.com/644/
|
|-
! Expeditious Retreat
| 1
| Sorcerer, Warlock, Wizard
| Transmutation
| V, S
| https://what-if.xkcd.com/61/
| What-if about speed bumps
|-
! Eyebite
| 6
| Bard, Sorcerer, Warlock, Wizard
| Necromancy
| V, S
| https://xkcd.com/1015/
| Comic about bad kerning, which is a "bite" to the eyes
|-
! Fabricate
| 4
| Wizard
| Transmutation
| V, S
| https://youtu.be/bn4x_BRqIpI?t=5m5s
|
|-
! Faerie Fire
| 1
| Bard, Druid
| Evocation
| V
| https://what-if.xkcd.com/151/
|
|-
! Faithful Hound
| 4
| Wizard
| Conjuration
| V, S, M
| https://xkcd.com/1193/
| Comic that ends with a very large dog
|-
! False Life
| 1
| Sorcerer, Wizard
| Necromancy
| V, S, M
| https://youtu.be/8-3jDVTLdaQ
|
|-
! Fear
| 3
| Bard, Sorcerer, Warlock, Wizard
| Illusion
| V, S, M
| https://xkcd.com/1242/
| A chart comparing how scary things are
|-
! Feather Fall
| 1
| Bard, Sorcerer, Wizard
| Transmutation
| V, M
| https://youtu.be/bWvyJ05TdC8?t=13m34s
|
|-
! Feeblemind
| 8
| Bard, Druid, Warlock, Wizard
| Enchantment
| V, S, M
| https://xkcd.com/574/
|
|-
! Find Familiar
| 1
| Wizard
| Conjuration
| V, S, M
| https://xkcd.com/413/
| Comic talking about a new pet (that is actually a computer). A familiar is an animal, similar to a pet, that serves a master, usually the magic user that summoned it.
|-
! Find Steed
| 2
| Paladin
| Conjuration
| V, S
| https://xkcd.com/1651/
|
|-
! Find the Path
| 6
| Bard, Cleric, Druid
| Divination
| V, S, M
| https://xkcd.com/887/
|
|-
! Find Traps
| 2
| Cleric, Druid, Ranger
| Divination
| V, S
| https://xkcd.com/1195/
|
|-
! Finger of Death
| 7
| Sorcerer, Warlock, Wizard
| Necromancy
| V, S
| https://what-if.xkcd.com/117/
|
|-
! Fire Bolt
| 0
| Sorcerer, Wizard
| Evocation
| V, S
| https://xkcd.com/639/
|
|-
! Fire Shield
| 4
| Wizard
| Evocation
| V, S, M
| https://www.jpl.nasa.gov/video/details.php?id=1090
|
|-
! Fire Storm
| 7
| Cleric, Druid, Sorcerer
| Evocation
| V, S
| https://youtu.be/ujADg0nWqCw?t=15m51s
|
|-
! Flame Blade
| 2
| Druid
| Evocation
| V, S, M
| https://xkcd.com/961/
|
|-
! Flame Strike
| 5
| Cleric
| Evocation
| V, S, M
| https://youtu.be/J9hMe1R8eYw
|
|-
! Flaming Sphere
| 2
| Druid, Wizard
| Conjuration
| V, S, M
| https://xkcd.com/673/
|
|-
! Flesh to Stone
| 6
| Warlock, Wizard
| Transmutation
| V,S,M
| https://xkcd.com/1409/
|
|-
! Floating Disk
| 1
| Wizard
| Conjuration
| V, S, M
| https://what-if.xkcd.com/50/
|
|-
! Fly
| 3
| Sorcerer, Warlock, Wizard
| Transmutation
| V, S, M
| https://xkcd.com/353/
|
|-
! Fog Cloud
| 1
| Druid, Ranger, Sorcerer, Wizard
| Conjuration
| V, S
| http://twitter.com/karlthefog
|
|-
! Forbiddance
| 6
| Cleric
| Abjuration
| V, S, M
| https://xkcd.com/782/
|
|-
! Forcecage
| 7
| Bard, Warlock, Wizard
| Evocation
| V, S, M
| https://xkcd.com/1142/
|
|-
! Foresight
| 9
| Bard, Druid, Warlock, Wizard
| Divination
| V, S, M
| https://xkcd.com/1876/
|
|-
! Freedom of Movement
| 4
| Bard, Cleric, Druid, Ranger
| Abjuration
| V, S, M
| https://youtu.be/sCOwRahm0so?t=1m8s
|
|-
! Freezing Sphere
| 6
| Wizard
| Evocation
| V, S, M
| https://what-if.xkcd.com/121/
|
|-
! Gaseous Form
| 3
| Sorcerer, Warlock, Wizard
| Transmutation
| V, S, M
| https://what-if.xkcd.com/146/
|
|-
! Geas
| 5
| Bard, Cleric, Druid, Paladin, Wizard
| Enchantment
| V
| https://xkcd.com/1559/
|
|-
! Gentle Repose
| 2
| Cleric, Wizard
| Necromancy
| V, S, M
| https://youtu.be/1Wl_yf86n78?t=20m
|
|-
! Giant Insect
| 4
| Druid
| Transmutation
| V, S
| https://youtu.be/_1jGnFt78H8?t=25m32s
|
|-
! Glibness
| 8
| Bard, Warlock
| Transmutation
| V
| https://xkcd.com/707/
|
|-
! Globe of Invulnerability
| 6
| Sorcerer, Wizard
| Abjuration
| V, S, M
| https://what-if.xkcd.com/153/
|
|-
! Glyph of Warding
| 3
| Bard, Cleric, Wizard
| Abjuration
| V, S, M
| https://xkcd.com/1247/
|
|-
! Goodberry
| 1
| Druid, Ranger
| Transmutation
| V, S, M
| https://xkcd.com/1035/
|
|-
! Grease
| 1
| Wizard
| Conjuration
| V, S, M
| https://what-if.xkcd.com/4/
|
|-
! Greater Invisibility
| 4
| Bard, Sorcerer, Wizard
| Illusion
| V, S
| https://what-if.xkcd.com/72/
|
|-
! Greater Restoration
| 5
| Bard, Cleric, Druid
| Abjuration
| V, S, M
| http://www.maximumfun.org/shows/my-brother-my-brother-and-me
|
|-
! Guardian of Faith
| 4
| Cleric
| Conjuration
| V
| https://xkcd.com/1934/
|
|-
! Guards and Wards
| 6
| Bard, Wizard
| Abjuration
| V, S, M
| https://xkcd.com/1890/
|
|-
! Guidance
| 0
| Cleric, Druid
| Divination
| V, S
| https://xkcd.com/1028/
|
|-
! Guiding Bolt
| 1
| Cleric
| Evocation
| V, S
| https://xkcd.com/1160/
|
|-
! Gust of Wind
| 2
| Druid, Sorcerer, Wizard
| Evocation
| V, S, M
| https://xkcd.com/1378/
|
|-
! Hallow
| 5
| Cleric
| Evocation
| V, S, M
| https://xkcd.com/1677/
| PF2e tips: "Hallow-led" Background has Dubious knowledge skill feat, fail pulls a correct information and a misinformation.
|-
! Hallucinatory Terrain
| 4
| Bard, Druid, Warlock, Wizard
| Illusion
| V, S, M
| https://xkcd.com/1472/
|
|-
! Harm
| 6
| Cleric
| Necromancy
| V, S
| https://xkcd.com/218/
|
|-
! Haste
| 3
| Sorcerer, Wizard
| Transmutation
| V, S, M
| https://xkcd.com/1701/
|
|-
! Heal
| 6
| Cleric, Druid
| Evocation
| V, S
| https://xkcd.com/218/
|
|-
! Healing Word
| 1
| Bard, Cleric, Druid
| Evocation
| V
| https://youtu.be/NYnldxUpYQQ
|
|-
! Heat Metal
| 2
| Bard, Druid
| Transmutation
| V, S, M
| https://what-if.xkcd.com/35/
|
|-
! Hellish Rebuke
| 1
| Warlock
| Evocation
| V, S
| https://xkcd.com/327/
|
|-
! Heroes' Feast
| 6
| Cleric, Druid
| Conjuration
| V, S, M
| https://youtu.be/_v1v0t8Q5xg?t=7m48s
|
|-
! Heroism
| 1
| Bard, Paladin
| Enchantment
| V, S
| https://xkcd.com/326/
|
|-
! Hideous Laughter
| 1
| Bard, Wizard
| Enchantment
| V, S, M
| https://xkcd.com/1974/
|
|-
! Hold Monster
| 5
| Bard, Sorcerer, Warlock, Wizard
| Enchantment
| V, S, M
| https://xkcd.com/1604/
|
|-
! Hold Person
| 2
| Bard, Cleric, Druid, Sorcerer, Warlock, Wizard
| Enchantment
| V, S, M
| https://xkcd.com/540/
|
|-
! Holy Aura
| 8
| Cleric
| Abjuration
| V, S, M
| https://what-if.xkcd.com/145/
|
|-
! Hunter's Mark
| 1
| Ranger
| Divination
| V
| https://what-if.xkcd.com/11/
|
|-
! Hypnotic Pattern
| 3
| Bard, Sorcerer, Warlock, Wizard
| Illusion
| S, M
| https://xkcd.com/722/
|
|-
! Ice Storm
| 4
| Druid, Sorcerer, Wizard
| Evocation
| V, S, M
| https://what-if.xkcd.com/104/
|
|-
! Identify
| 1
| Bard, Wizard
| Divination
| V, S, M
| https://what-if.xkcd.com/9/
|
|-
! Illusory Script
| 1
| Bard, Warlock, Wizard
| Illusion
| S, M
| https://xkcd.com/1288/
|
|-
! Imprisonment
| 9
| Warlock, Wizard
| Abjuration
| V, S, M
| https://youtu.be/U4rwlvMEoj0
|
|-
! Incendiary Cloud
| 8
| Sorcerer, Wizard
| Conjuration
| V, S
| https://what-if.xkcd.com/139/
|
|-
! Inflict Wounds
| 1
| Cleric
| Necromancy
| V, S
| https://youtu.be/Kcd44VfN-Ro?t=3m24s
|
|-
! Insect Plague
| 5
| Cleric, Druid, Sorcerer
| Conjuration
| V, S, M
| https://xkcd.com/1127/
|
|-
! Instant Summons
| 6
| Wizard
| Conjuration
| V, S, M
| https://what-if.xkcd.com/123/
| What if about fairy demographics which are "summoned" to the first laugh of a child
|-
! Invisibility
| 2
| Bard, Sorcerer, Warlock, Wizard
| Illusion
| V, S, M
| https://xkcd.com/1080/
|
|-
! Irresistible Dance
| 6
| Bard, Wizard
| Enchantment
| V
| https://xkcd.com/878/
|
|-
! Jump
| 1
| Druid, Ranger, Sorcerer, Wizard
| Transmutation
| V, S, M
| https://youtu.be/kT2Y6ftxilM?t=17m37s
|
|-
! Knock
| 2
| Bard, Sorcerer, Wizard
| Transmutation
| V
| https://xkcd.com/530/
|
|-
! Legend Lore
| 5
| Bard, Cleric, Wizard
| Divination
| V, S, M
| https://xkcd.com/1350/
|
|-
! Lesser Restoration
| 2
| Bard, Cleric, Druid, Paladin, Ranger
| Abjuration
| V, S
| https://xkcd.com/567/
|
|-
! Levitate
| 2
| Sorcerer, Wizard
| Transmutation
| V, S, M
| https://xkcd.com/520/
|
|-
! Light
| 0
| Bard, Cleric, Sorcerer, Wizard
| Evocation
| V, M
| https://what-if.xkcd.com/13/
|
|-
! Lightning Bolt
| 3
| Sorcerer, Wizard
| Evocation
| V, S, M
| https://what-if.xkcd.com/109/
|
|-
! Locate Animals or Plants
| 2
| Bard, Druid, Ranger
| Divination
| V, S, M
| https://xkcd.com/1826/
|
|-
! Locate Creature
| 4
| Bard, Cleric, Druid, Paladin, Ranger, Wizard
| Divination
| V, S, M
| https://xkcd.com/1747/
|
|-
! Locate Object
| 2
| Bard, Cleric, Druid, Paladin, Ranger, Wizard
| Divination
| V, S, M
| http://bfy.tw/Dh
|
|-
! Longstrider
| 1
| Bard, Druid, Ranger, Wizard
| Transmutation
| V, S, M
| https://xkcd.com/1065/
|
|-
! Mage Armor
| 1
| Sorcerer, Wizard
| Abjuration
| V, S, M
| https://xkcd.com/1636/
|
|-
! Mage Hand
| 0
| Bard, Sorcerer, Warlock, Wizard
| Conjuration
| V, S
| https://xkcd.com/1812/
|
|-
! Magic Circle
| 3
| Cleric, Paladin, Warlock, Wizard
| Abjuration
| V, S, M
| https://xkcd.com/112/
|
|-
! Magic Jar
| 6
| Wizard
| Necromancy
| V, S, M
| https://xkcd.com/1021/
|
|-
! Magic Missile
| 1
| Sorcerer, Wizard
| Evocation
| V, S
| https://xkcd.com/1356/
|
|-
! Magic Mouth
| 2
| Bard, Wizard
| Illusion
| V, S, M
| https://what-if.xkcd.com/37/
|
|-
! Magic Weapon
| 2
| Paladin, Wizard
| Transmutation
| V, S
| https://what-if.xkcd.com/81/
|
|-
! Magnificent Mansion
| 7
| Bard, Wizard
| Conjuration
| V, S, M
| https://youtu.be/TamwFUUd9Yk?t=10m29s
|
|-
! Major Image
| 3
| Bard, Sorcerer, Warlock, Wizard
| Illusion
| V, S, M
| https://xkcd.com/980/
|
|-
! Mass Cure Wounds
| 5
| Bard, Cleric, Druid
| Evocation
| V, S
| https://xkcd.com/1793/
|
|-
! Mass Heal
| 9
| Cleric
| Evocation
| V, S
| https://youtu.be/1Cj8d6EcFp0
|
|-
! Mass Healing Word
| 3
| Cleric
| Evocation
| V
| https://xkcd.com/1520/
|
|-
! Mass Suggestion
| 6
| Bard, Sorcerer, Warlock, Wizard
| Enchantment
| V, M
| https://xkcd.com/1264/
|
|-
! Maze
| 8
| Wizard
| Conjuration
| V, S
| https://xkcd.com/246/
|
|-
! Meld into Stone
| 3
| Cleric, Druid
| Transmutation
| V, S
| https://youtu.be/V5PlKZRQVgQ
|
|-
! Mending
| 0
| Bard, Cleric, Druid, Sorcerer, Wizard
| Transmutation
| V, S, M
| https://xkcd.com/1780
|
|-
! Message
| 0
| Bard, Sorcerer, Wizard
| Transmutation
| V, S, M
| https://xkcd.com/1782/
|
|-
! Meteor Swarm
| 9
| Sorcerer, Wizard
| Evocation
| V, S
| https://xkcd.com/1249/
|
|-
! Mind Blank
| 8
| Bard, Wizard
| Abjuration
| V, S
| https://xkcd.com/1145/
|
|-
! Minor Illusion
| 0
| Bard, Sorcerer, Warlock, Wizard
| Illusion
| S, M
| https://xkcd.com/1492/
|
|-
! Mirage Arcane
| 7
| Bard, Druid, Wizard
| Illusion
| V, S
| https://xkcd.com/806/
|
|-
! Mislead
| 5
| Bard, Wizard
| Illusion
| S
| https://xkcd.com/1488/
|
|-
! Misty Step
| 2
| Sorcerer, Warlock, Wizard
| Conjuration
| V
| https://what-if.xkcd.com/126/
|
|-
! Modify Memory
| 5
| Bard, Wizard
| Enchantment
| V, S
| https://xkcd.com/1156/
|
|-
! Moonbeam
| 2
| Druid
| Evocation
| V, S, M
| https://xkcd.com/1738/
|
|-
! Move Earth
| 6
| Druid, Sorcerer, Wizard
| Transmutation
| V, S, M
| https://xkcd.com/723/
|
|-
! Nondetection
| 3
| Bard, Ranger, Wizard
| Abjuration
| V, S, M
| https://xkcd.com/937/
|
|-
! Pass Without Trace
| 2
| Druid, Ranger
| Abjuration
| V, S, M
| https://youtu.be/LHBzVTCO3nM?t=4m32s
|
|-
! Passwall
| 5
| Wizard
| Transmutation
| V, S, M
| https://xkcd.com/1608/
|
|-
! Phantasmal Killer
| 4
| Wizard
| Illusion
| V, S
| https://what-if.xkcd.com/12/
|
|-
! Phantom Steed
| 3
| Wizard
| Illusion
| V, S
| https://youtu.be/U3JnZEzoL6M
|
|-
! Planar Ally
| 6
| Cleric
| Conjuration
| V, S
| https://xkcd.com/112/
|
|-
! Planar Binding
| 5
| Bard, Cleric, Druid, Wizard
| Abjuration
| V, S, M
| https://xkcd.com/1956/
|
|-
! Plane Shift
| 7
| Cleric, Druid, Sorcerer, Warlock, Wizard
| Conjuration
| V, S, M
| https://xkcd.com/803/
|
|-
! Plant Growth
| 3
| Bard, Druid, Ranger
| Transmutation
| V, S
| https://youtu.be/yV9wy9ucXgc
|
|-
! Poison Spray
| 0
| Druid, Sorcerer, Warlock, Wizard
| Conjuration
| V, S
| https://what-if.xkcd.com/144/
|
|-
! Polymorph
| 4
| Bard, Druid, Sorcerer, Wizard
| Transmutation
| V, S, M
| https://xkcd.com/1094/
|
|-
! Power Word Kill
| 9
| Bard, Sorcerer, Warlock, Wizard
| Enchantment
| V
| https://youtu.be/VHR0EfYACAI?t=13m51s
|
|-
! Power Word Stun
| 8
| Bard, Sorcerer, Warlock, Wizard
| Enchantment
| V
| https://what-if.xkcd.com/
|
|-
! Prayer of Healing
| 2
| Cleric
| Evocation
| V
| https://xkcd.com/418/
|
|-
! Prestidigitation
| 0
| Bard, Sorcerer, Warlock, Wizard
| Transmutation
| V, S
| https://xkcd.com/942/
|
|-
! Prismatic Spray
| 7
| Sorcerer, Wizard
| Evocation
| V, S
| https://xkcd.com/657/
|
|-
! Prismatic Wall
| 9
| Wizard
| Abjuration
| V, S
| https://xkcd.com/1271/
|
|-
! Private Sanctum
| 4
| Wizard
| Abjuration
| V, S, M
| https://xkcd.com/1663/#74b2196a-34fa-11e8-8001-42010a8e0006
|
|-
! Produce Flame
| 0
| Druid
| Conjuration
| V, S
| https://xkcd.com/386/
|
|-
! Programmed Illusion
| 6
| Bard, Wizard
| Illusion
| V, S, M
| https://xkcd.com/303/
|
|-
! Project Image
| 7
| Bard, Wizard
| Illusion
| V, S, M
| https://youtu.be/bR0Ubck0IRA
|
|-
! Protection from Energy
| 3
| Cleric, Druid, Ranger, Sorcerer, Wizard
| Abjuration
| V, S
| https://xkcd.com/556/
|
|-
! Protection from Evil and Good
| 1
| Cleric, Paladin, Warlock, Wizard
| Abjuration
| V, S, M
| https://xkcd.com/1303/
|
|-
! Protection from Poison
| 2
| Cleric, Druid, Paladin, Ranger
| Abjuration
| V, S
| https://xkcd.com/1305/
|
|-
! Purify Food and Drink
| 1
| Cleric, Druid, Paladin
| Transmutation
| V, S
| https://youtu.be/ONSWw4aBBLg
|
|-
! Raise Dead
| 5
| Bard, Cleric, Paladin
| Necromancy
| V, S, M
| https://xkcd.com/599/
|
|-
! Ray of Enfeeblement
| 2
| Warlock, Wizard
| Necromancy
| V, S
| https://xkcd.com/526/
|
|-
! Ray of Frost
| 0
| Sorcerer, Wizard
| Evocation
| V, S
| https://xkcd.com/312/
|
|-
! Regenerate
| 7
| Bard, Cleric, Druid
| Transmutation
| V, S, M
| https://xkcd.com/1024/
|
|-
! Reincarnate
| 5
| Druid
| Transmutation
| V, S, M
| https://youtu.be/WbKrlJgwI4A?t=17m33s
|
|-
! Remove Curse
| 3
| Cleric, Paladin, Warlock, Wizard
| Abjuration
| V, S
| https://xkcd.com/391/
|
|-
! Resilient Sphere
| 4
| Wizard
| Evocation
| V, S, M
| https://xkcd.com/1248/
|
|-
! Resistance
| 0
| Cleric, Druid
| Abjuration
| V, S, M
| https://xkcd.com/730/
|
|-
! Resurrection
| 7
| Bard, Cleric
| Necromancy
| V, S, M
| https://xkcd.com
|
|-
! Reverse Gravity
| 7
| Druid, Sorcerer, Wizard
| Transmutation
| V, S, M
| https://xkcd.com/1115/
|
|-
! Revivify
| 3
| Cleric, Paladin
| Necromancy
| V, S, M
| https://xkcd.com/346/
|
|-
! Rope Trick
| 2
| Wizard
| Transmutation
| V, S, M
| https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dQw4w9WgXcQ
|
|-
! Sacred Flame
| 0
| Cleric
| Evocation
| V, S
| https://www.nasa.gov/sun
|
|-
! Sanctuary
| 1
| Cleric
| Abjuration
| V, S, M
| https://youtu.be/qQVlGrwG9yo?t=11m49s
|
|-
! Scorching Ray
| 2
| Sorcerer, Wizard
| Evocation
| V, S
| https://xkcd.com/729
|
|-
! Scrying
| 5
| Bard, Cleric, Druid, Warlock, Wizard
| Divination
| V, S, M
| https://archive.org/donate/
|
|-
! Secret Chest
| 4
| Wizard
| Conjuration
| V, S, M
| https://xkcd.com/1762/
|
|-
! See invisibility
| 2
| Bard, Sorcerer, Wizard
| Divination
| V, S, M
| https://xkcd.com/401/
|
|-
! Seeming
| 5
| Bard, Sorcerer, Wizard
| Illusion
| V, S
| https://xkcd.com/451/
|
|-
! Sending
| 3
| Bard, Cleric, Wizard
| Evocation
| V, S, M
| https://xkcd.com/352/
|
|-
! Sequester
| 7
| Wizard
| Transmutation
| V, S, M
| https://xkcd.com/646/
|
|-
! Shapechange
| 9
| Druid, Wizard
| Transmutation
| V, S, M
| https://youtu.be/-aWH3-46slI?t=6m4s
|
|-
! Shatter
| 2
| Bard, Sorcerer, Warlock, Wizard
| Evocation
| V, S, M
| https://what-if.xkcd.com/137/
|
|-
! Shield
| 1
| Sorcerer, Wizard
| Abjuration
| V, S
| https://xkcd.com/916/
|
|-
! Shield of Faith
| 1
| Cleric, Paladin
| Abjuration
| V, S, M
| https://xkcd.com/129/
|
|-
! Shillelagh
| 0
| Druid
| Transmutation
| V, S, M
| https://youtu.be/LXxdC9X3hxg?t=8m6s
|
|-
! Shocking Grasp
| 0
| Sorcerer, Wizard
| Evocation
| V, S
| https://xkcd.com/242/
|
|-
! Silence
| 2
| Bard, Cleric, Ranger
| Illusion
| V, S
| https://xkcd.com/525/
|
|-
! Silent Image
| 1
| Bard, Sorcerer, Wizard
| Illusion
| V, S, M
| https://xkcd.com/1416/
|
|-
! Simulacrum
| 7
| Wizard
| Illusion
| V, S, M
| https://youtu.be/1Qo1Aj_leEo
|
|-
! Sleep
| 1
| Bard, Sorcerer, Wizard
| Enchantment
| V, S, M
| https://xkcd.com/320/
|
|-
! Sleet Storm
| 3
| Druid, Sorcerer, Wizard
| Conjuration
| V, S, M
| https://xkcd.com/511/
|
|-
! Slow
| 3
| Sorcerer, Wizard
| Transmutation
| V, S, M
| https://xkcd.com/162/
|
|-
! Speak with Animals
| 1
| Bard, Druid, Ranger
| Divination
| V, S
| https://xkcd.com/1879/
|
|-
! Speak with Plants
| 3
| Bard, Druid, Ranger
| Transmutation
| V, S
| https://what-if.xkcd.com/70/
|
|-
! Spider Climb
| 2
| Sorcerer, Warlock, Wizard
| Transmutation
| V, S, M
| https://what-if.xkcd.com/136/
|
|-
! Spike Growth
| 2
| Druid, Ranger
| Transmutation
| V, S, M
| https://what-if.xkcd.com/67/
|
|-
! Spirit Guardians
| 3
| Cleric
| Conjuration
| V, S, M
| https://xkcd.com/695/
|
|-
! Spiritual Weapon
| 2
| Cleric
| Evocation
| V, S
| https://youtu.be/A1gTbnB-Gps?t=17m2s
|
|-
! Stinking Cloud
| 3
| Bard, Sorcerer, Wizard
| Conjuration
| V, S, M
| https://xkcd.com/1066/
|
|-
! Stone Shape
| 4
| Cleric, Druid, Wizard
| Transmutation
| V, S, M
| https://what-if.xkcd.com/135/
|
|-
! Stoneskin
| 4
| Druid, Ranger, Sorcerer, Wizard
| Abjuration
| V, S, M
| https://youtu.be/LlKnEgPEGmA
|
|-
! Storm of Vengeance
| 9
| Druid
| Conjuration
| V, S
| https://what-if.xkcd.com/93/
|
|-
! Suggestion
| 2
| Bard, Sorcerer, Warlock, Wizard
| Enchantment
| V, M
| https://xkcd.com/672
|
|-
! Sunbeam
| 6
| Druid, Sorcerer, Wizard
| Evocation
| V, S, M
| https://what-if.xkcd.com/141/
|
|-
! Sunburst
| 8
| Druid, Sorcerer, Wizard
| Evocation
| V, S, M
| https://what-if.xkcd.com/115/
|
|-
! Telekinesis
| 5
| Sorcerer, Wizard
| Transmutation
| V, S
| https://what-if.xkcd.com/3/
|
|-
! Telepathic Bond
| 5
| Wizard
| Divination
| V, S, M
| https://xkcd.com/1504/
|
|-
! Thaumaturgy
| 0
| Cleric
| Transmutation
| V
| https://xkcd.com/1131/
|
|-
! Thunderwave
| 1
| Bard, Druid, Sorcerer, Wizard
| Evocation
| V, S
| https://what-if.xkcd.com/140/
|
|-
! Tiny Hut
| 3
| Bard, Wizard
| Evocation
| V, S, M
| https://xkcd.com/905/
|
|-
! Tongues
| 3
| Bard, Cleric, Sorcerer, Warlock, Wizard
| Divination
| V, M
| https://xkcd.com/1137
|
|-
! Tree Stride
| 5
| Druid, Ranger
| Conjuration
| V, S
| https://youtu.be/IDBcGgjtFRs?t=1m3s
|
|-
! True Polymorph
| 9
| Bard, Warlock, Wizard
| Transmutation
| V, S, M
| (no link?)
|
|-
! True Resurrection
| 9
| Cleric, Druid
| Necromancy
| V, S, M
| https://youtu.be/7-n8TZqm9Ic?t=12m36
|
|-
! True Seeing
| 6
| Bard, Cleric, Sorcerer, Warlock, Wizard
| Divination
| V, S, M
| http://geekwagon.net/projects/xkcd1190/
|
|-
! True Strike
| 0
| Bard, Sorcerer, Warlock, Wizard
| Divination
| S
| https://youtu.be/wWOVS0XQmPM?t=12m11s
|
|-
! Unseen Servant
| 1
| Bard, Warlock, Wizard
| Conjuration
| V, S, M
| https://xkcd.com/958/
|
|-
! Vampiric Touch
| 3
| Warlock, Wizard
| Necromancy
| V, S
| https://what-if.xkcd.com/98/
|
|-
! Vicious Mockery
| 0
| Bard
| Enchantment
| V
| https://xkcd.com/732/
|
|-
! Wall of Fire
| 4
| Druid, Sorcerer, Wizard
| Evocation
| V, S, M
| https://www.nasa.gov/mission_pages/fires/main/usa/index.html
|
|-
! Wall of Force
| 5
| Wizard
| Evocation
| V, S, M
| https://what-if.xkcd.com/147/
|
|-
! Wall of Ice
| 6
| Wizard
| Evocation
| V, S, M
| https://what-if.xkcd.com/104/
|
|-
! Wall of Stone
| 5
| Druid, Sorcerer, Wizard
| Evocation
| V, S, M
| https://pubs.usgs.gov/of/2003/of03-001/htmldocs/images/chart.pdf
|
|-
! Wall of Thorns
| 6
| Druid
| Conjuration
| V, S, M
| https://xkcd.com/1970/
|
|-
! Warding Bond
| 2
| Cleric
| Abjuration
| V, S, M
| https://xkcd.com/1188/
|
|-
! Water Breathing
| 3
| Druid, Ranger, Sorcerer, Wizard
| Transmutation
| V, S, M
| https://xkcd.com/969/
|
|-
! Water Walk
| 3
| Cleric, Druid, Ranger, Sorcerer
| Transmutation
| V, S, M
| https://xkcd.com/1599/
|
|-
! Web
| 2
| Sorcerer, Wizard
| Conjuration
| V, S, M
| https://xkcd.com/195/
|
|-
! Weird
| 9
| Wizard
| Illusion
| V, S
| https://xkcd.com/1501/
|
|-
! Wind Walk
| 6
| Druid
| Transmutation
| V, S, M
| https://youtu.be/zpahjcaRt6w?t=12m27s
|
|-
! Wind Wall
| 3
| Druid, Ranger
| Evocation
| V, S, M
| https://what-if.xkcd.com/66/
|
|-
! Wish
| 9
| Sorcerer, Wizard
| Conjuration
| V
| https://xkcd.com/1086/
|
|-
! Zone of Truth
| 2
| Bard, Cleric, Paladin
| Enchantment
| V, S
| http://www.maximumfun.org/shows/adventure-zone
| A reference to the Adventure Zone podcast by the McElroy family, specifically the character Merle Highchurch, who is well known for using this spell in possibly unhelpful situations.
|}

=====Submenu Spells=====
These 9 spells all appear with an arrow and open submenus when hovered on. The submenus are all actually from different parts of the context menu. Several of the spells are "teleportation/transportation" related which might explain why they lead you to a different place in the menu.

{| border =1 width=100% cellpadding=5 class="wikitable"
! Name !! Level !! Classes !! School !! Components !! Submenu !! Explanation
|-
! Antimagic Field
| 8
| Cleric, Wizard
| Abjuration
| V, S M
| Utilities menu
|
|-
! Banishment
| 4
| Cleric, Paladin, Sorcerer, Warlock, Wizard
| Abjuration
| V, S, M
| Do Crimes menu (even without unlocking it via Enable Dark Web)
|
|-
! Blink
| 3
| Sorcerer, Wizard
| Transmutation
| V, S
| Utilities menu
|
|-
! Counterspell
| 3
| Sorcerer, Warlock, Wizard
| Abjuration
| S
| Utilities menu
|
|-
! Delayed Blast Fireball
| 7
| Sorcerer, Wizard
| Evocation
| V, S, M
| Help menu
|
|-
! Dimension Door
| 4
| Bard, Sorcerer, Warlock, Wizard
| Conjuration
| V
| File - Open - C:\ - Bookmarks submenu
|
|-
! Teleportation Circle
| 5
| Bard, Sorcerer, Wizard
| Conjuration
| V, M
| Games menu
|
|-
! Transport via Plants
| 6
| Druid
| Conjuration
| V, S
| Games menu
|
|-
! Word of Recall
| 6
| Cleric
| Conjuration
| V
| Utilities menu
|
|}

=====Effect Spells=====
These 10 spells activate different JavaScript functions that affect the page in various ways, permanent or temporary, that are suggestive of the spell that was cast.

{| border =1 width=100% cellpadding=5 class="wikitable"
! Name !! Level !! Classes !! School !! Components !! Effect !! Explanation
|-
! Acid Splash
| 0
| Sorcerer, Wizard
| Conjuration
| V, S
| Causes the background to change color between red, yellow, chartreuse, blue, fuchsia, and blue-violet randomly every 300ms.
| Using LSD ('acid') often causes vibrant colors to 'splash' and swivel around one's visual field.
|-
! Animate Objects
| 5
| Bard, Sorcerer, Wizard
| Transmutation
| V, S
| Causes most parts of the page to begin shifting in place randomly every 100ms.
| The parts, or "objects" on the page are being "animated".
|-
! Blur
| 2
| Sorcerer, Wizard
| Illusion
| V
| Causes the comic and most text to blur.
| Largely self-explanatory. In D&D, the Blur spell blurs one's body to make it harder to hit. This one blurs the elements on the page.
|-
! Conjure Animals
| 3
| Druid, Ranger
| Conjuration
| V, S
| Adds a rabbit image of a random size next to the comic.
| Conjures an image of an animal.
|-
! Darkness
| 2
| Sorcerer, Warlock, Wizard
| Evocation
| V, M
| Causes the comic to disappear and the background to turn black.
| In D&D, the Darkness spell conjures darkness. This does largely the same thing.
|-
! Darkvision
| 2
| Sorcerer, Wizard, Druid, Ranger
| Transmutation
| V, S, M
| Causes the background to turn gray and the comic to fade. However, it does not appear to work.
|
|-
! Fireball
| 3
| Sorcerer, Wizard
| Evocation
| V, S, M
| Causes the page background to turn red then slowly turn white.
| Fireballs caused by nuclear weapons generally appear reddish-white.
|-
! Mirror Image
| 2
| Sorcerer, Warlock, Wizard
| Illusion
| V, S
| Causes the entire page to be mirrored on the vertical axis.
| Here, Mirror Image "mirrors" the image, instead of conjuring "mirror images" of yourself.
|-
! Symbol
| 7
| Bard, Cleric, Wizard
| Abjuration
| V, S, M
| Changes all text on the page to use Wingdings, Webdings, Symbol, or Zapf Dingbats.
| These are all {{w|dingbat}} fonts which replace text with symbols.
|-
! Time Stop
| 9
| Sorcerer, Wizard
| Transmutation
| V
| Pauses any currently ongoing effects. (But does not cancel them)
| Time Stop is a spell that stops time. This would make sense to stop ongoing effects.
|}

==Transcript==
:[Empty frame with Cueball standing slightly right of center.]

:[Caption below the frame:]
:Editor's Note: Today's comic is optimized for local viewing. To see the full version, just save a copy of the image!

==Trivia==
*On Monday, April 1st, 2019 [[2131: Emojidome]], an April Fools' comic was released, making it look like the missing April Fools' Day comic in 2017 was an [[1818:_Rayleigh_Scattering#No_April_Fools.27_Day_comic_in_2017|outlier]].
*Here is an example of how the game looks when entered:
[[File:1975_Right_Click_Systems_menu.png]]
*This is broken on iPadOS.

{{comic discussion}}



[[Category:Interactive comics]]
[[Category:April fools' comics]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Cueball]]
[[Category:Animals]]
[[Category:Buns]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Beret Guy]]
[[Category:Multiple Cueballs]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Black Hat]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Ponytail]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Hairbun]]
[[Category:Comics with audio]]
[[Category:Chronicles of Narnia]]

1578: Squirrelphone

2022-12-14T17:58:58Z

Uranium233: Added a need for a citation

{{comic
| number = 1578
| date = September 16, 2015
| title = Squirrelphone
| image = squirrelphone.png
| titletext = After a while, the squirrel starts making that beeping noise and doesn't stop until it hops back up onto the stump.
}}

==Explanation==
"Squirrelphone" is a {{w|Compound (linguistics)|compound word}} combining "{{w|squirrel}}" and "{{w|phone}}".

In this comic, we see a squirrel pretend to be a telephone, only to bite [[Cueball]] when he tries to pick it up and use it as one. This is humorous because a living squirrel is not an appropriate creature to maintain a phone call {{citation needed}}.

The sounds the squirrel makes correspond to the tones that the terminals make when you use the POTS (Plain Old Telephone Service) in the US:
*When someone else calls you and the receiver of your phone is on the hook, the phone makes loud and long "riiing riiiing" tones. This is the case in the first frame of the comic.
*If a phone is left off hook without use for too long (referenced in the title text), an {{w|off-hook tone}} is played. This is to alert anyone present that the phone is off-hook. In this case, you should hang up so that you can receive calls. Once on-hook, the receiver can be picked up again to dial.

[[:Category:Squirrels|Squirrels]] have been used frequently in xkcd, also in [[what if]], where it has for instance been used as a cute animal to replace a drawing of something scary or unpleasant like in [http://what-if.xkcd.com/98/ Blood Alcohol] or [http://what-if.xkcd.com/105/ Cannibalism].

==Transcript==
:[Cueball is approaching a stump with a squirrel perched on it. A ringing noise is coming from the squirrel's back.]
:Squirrel: Riiiiing
:Squirrel: Riiiiiing

:[Cueball has picked up the squirrel and is holding it to his left ear.]
:Cueball: Hello?

:[The squirrel bites Cueball's head.]
:Squirrel: Chomp!
:Cueball: Ow!

:[Cueball holds his hand to his cheek while the squirrel leaps away, fleeing.]
:Cueball: ???

{{comic discussion}}
[[Category:Squirrels]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Cueball]]
[[Category:Phones]]

869: Server Attention Span

2022-12-09T14:14:45Z

Uranium233: Added a need for a citation

{{comic
| number = 869
| date = March 7, 2011
| title = Server Attention Span
| image = server_attention_span.png
| titletext = They have to keep the adjacent rack units empty. Otherwise, half the entries in their /var/log/syslog are just 'SERVER BELOW TRYING TO START CONVERSATION *AGAIN*.' and 'WISH THEY'D STOP GIVING HIM SO MUCH COFFEE IT SPLATTERS EVERYWHERE.'
}}

==Explanation==
The comic shows - in human language - part of the conversations that a browser and web server do in order to get the right page. The protocol they use is called {{w|Hypertext Transfer Protocol|HTTP}}.

This comic makes fun of the issue that many web-servers that see a mobile browser will automatically suggest to load the mobile version of the website, but then serve the front page of the mobile site, not the page the user had requested. In quite a few sites, there is no 1-to-1 correspondence of pages between the regular and the mobile site, so this problem is difficult to solve and very annoying.

A second issue with HTTP is identified in the last panel. HTTP is a {{w|stateless protocol}}. After serving the web page, the connection is severed. Any new request for a page will have to start afresh - which is where the server starts with again: "Hi! I'm a server!" Of course, browsers do not have egos nor do they hold grudges {{citation needed}} but it can be annoying for users. This design issue can also slow down the browsing experience.

The title text is a joke that all the other servers in the rack think the web server is being childish. <tt>/var/log/syslog</tt> is where Linux (used by the vast majority of servers) and other POSIX systems store their system log messages. The 'trying to start conversation' comment is probably a joke on {{w|Address Resolution Protocol|ARP}} discovery packets that are sent out to the network to see who is who. All servers send out ARP packets to see what other machines are on the network, but some machines send them out every 5 minutes, which can be extremely annoying for someone monitoring network traffic logs.

The coffee comment is another jab at web servers. Some websites use {{w|Java (programming language)|Java}}, or other {{w|JVM}} based languages ({{w|Apache Groovy}}, {{w|Scala}}, etc.) as the back end of the website, as opposed to using {{w|PHP}} or {{w|Active Server Pages|ASP}}. Of course, java is another word for coffee, so a web server running on coffee is likely to be well-caffeinated, and well-caffeinated people tend to bounce off the walls with enthusiasm.

==Transcript==
:[Single server in a server rack.]
:Server: Hi! I'm a server! Who are you?

:[Mobile device with a web browser.]
:Browser: I'm a browser. I'd like to see this article.

:Server: Oh boy! I can help! Let me get it for— ...Whoa! You're a ''smartphone'' browser?

:Browser: Yeah.
:Server: Cooool! Hey, I've got this new mobile version of my site! Check it out! Isn't it pretty?

:Browser: Sure, but this is just your mobile site's main page. Where's the article I wanted?

:Server: What article?
:Browser: The one I—
:Server: Who are you?
:Browser: I—
:Server: Hi! I'm a server!

{{comic discussion}}
[[Category:Comics with color]]
[[Category:Computers]]

763: Workaround

2022-12-05T13:45:42Z

Uranium233: Added a need for a citation

{{comic
| number = 763
| date = July 7, 2010
| title = Workaround
| image = workaround.png
| titletext = I once worked on a friend's dad's computer. He had the hard drive divided into six partitions, C: through J:, with a 'Documents' directory tree on each one. Each new file appeared to be saved to a partition at random. I knew enough not to ask.
}}

==Explanation==
A relative of [[Cueball]] is depicted, who explains how he goes about sending a {{w|YouTube}} video to someone. The relative appears to be a stereotypical 'non-computer person', perhaps the father or grandfather of Cueball. The relative explains how he first saves a web page and opens it in Microsoft Word, then uses the 'Share' feature in Word to generate an email that contains the web page reformatted as a Word document, then sends that email to a service that extracts YouTube videos. Perhaps this service would then email back a link to some extracted file on some server, and this link could in turn be copied and pasted in another email, which could finally be sent to the intended recipient. It's all very complicated.

The premise is that non-computer-literate people will find a clumsy, highly elaborate way of achieving some task on a computer. They will do this by stringing together the functions they stumble upon in the few software packages they have limited familiarity with, rather than taking a more sensible, straightforward route. In this case, a much faster and simpler{{citation needed}} route would be to copy the address of the YouTube video from the address bar in the browser, then paste the address in an email to the intended recipient.

The caption says that though [[Randall]] encourages his relatives to solve their computer problems on their own, by trial and error, he has to resist the urge of asking them the method they used. That method is likely to be unnecessarily complicated. Perhaps this complexity, inefficiency or illogicality will cause Randall to be exasperated, or perhaps Randall feels it is unwise to tell them why their method is inefficient because of the possibility of humiliating or upsetting them, especially after they have spent a long time experimenting to arrive at this suboptimal solution; it would be disrespectful to correct them. Or perhaps it would take too long to explain an alternative, even a much simpler one, because of the questions that it would lead to or because of the further misconceptions that would be exposed of which the relative should be disabused.

The title text just explains another example of a complicated and elaborate way of working that people who don't understand computers can create. {{w|Disk partitioning|Partition}}s on a hard drive are separately managed regions of storage. Partitions are usually used for recovery purposes or to load different operating systems. It seems that Randall's friend's dad has created 6 partitions for no real purpose, and files are arbitrarily being saved to a random partition. A truly grotesque scene.

==Transcript==
:[A relative stands at a computer terminal. Cueball stands behind him with his head in his hands, double-facepalming.]

:Relative: See, I've got a really good system: if I want to send a YouTube video to someone, I go to File → Save, then import the saved page into Word. Then I go to "Share this Document" and under "recipient" I put the email of this video extraction service...

:[Caption below the panel:]
:I'll often encourage relatives to try to solve computer problems themselves by trial and error. However, I've learned an important lesson: if they say they've solved their problem, ''never'' ask how.

{{comic discussion}}
[[Category:Comics featuring Cueball]]
[[Category:Computers]]
[[Category:Multiple Cueballs]]

1891: Obsolete Technology

2022-10-25T00:08:11Z

Uranium233: Removing space

{{comic
| number = 1891
| date = September 18, 2017
| title = Obsolete Technology
| image = obsolete_technology.png
| titletext = And I can't believe some places still use fax machines. The electrical signals waste so much time going AROUND the Earth when neutrino beams can go straight through!
}}

==Explanation==
This comic mocks people who criticize an industry for using obsolete technology, even when said technology is sufficient for the task at hand. The claim often comes with the implication that those in charge of the industry are behind the times and cannot adapt to the cutting edge. What these critics often fail to realize is that there are cost benefits to sticking with "obsolete" infrastructure, and that upgrading to the newest tech can introduce unwanted side effects and other risks.

Here, [[Ponytail]] acts as one such critic, complaining that the business is taking "forever" to get with the times. [[Megan]] uses sarcasm to deliver her counterargument: despite the advent of nuclear weapons, fireworks use the ancient technology of {{w|gunpowder}} (invented in the 9th century), because fireworks are used by civilians for celebratory purposes and should have as few lethal side effects as possible.{{citation needed}}

As they use gunpowder, fireworks do claim a handful of lives and cause thousands of injuries each year due to improper handling procedures; between June 18th and July 18th of 2016 (thus including the {{w|Independence Day (United States)|Independence Day}} celebrations on July 4th), fireworks caused an estimated 11,000 injuries, of which 7,000 had to be treated in hospitals. In the whole year of 2016, four people died ([http://www.insurancejournal.com/news/national/2017/06/30/456213.htm U.S. stats]). Nuclear explosions, meanwhile, have "detrimental effects" {{citation needed}} on human health in the same way sledgehammers have "detrimental effects" {{citation needed}} to chicken eggs. For example, should a nuclear explosion at a firework display be too powerful, the spectators, and possibly the neighborhood around the display, would be vaporized instantly. Fallout from a nuclear reaction could spread radiation across a wide area, leading to increased risks of cancers and other detrimental{{citation needed}} genetic mutations.

In other words, sometimes using newer technology is "overkill" for the purpose, and it might be costlier to switch to a newer technology. For example, many industrial machines were designed and sold in the 1990s when {{w|floppy disk}}s were the prevalent means of storing the instructions, but those machines still have one or two or even more decades of usable lifetime left, and the instruction files still fit on those floppy disks. So, in 2017, there are several companies that thrive on buying, refurbishing and selling floppy disks. This [https://www.digitaltrends.com/computing/why-do-floppy-disks-still-exist-the-world-isnt-ready-to-move-on/ report] portrays one of these companies.

{{w|MS-DOS}} is a computer operating system made by {{w|Microsoft}} that was dominant during much of the 1980s. When Microsoft released the Windows line of operating systems, they encouraged people to switch to the new platform, which many did. MS-DOS became essentially obsolete when Microsoft released {{w|Windows 95}} in 1995. However, there remain rare circumstances in which MS-DOS (or another command-line operating system) is still preferred, such as when no mouse, touchscreen, or other pointing hardware is available, or when the hardware does not support a newer operating system. To make matters simpler, there is {{w|DOSBox}}, a free and open-source MS-DOS emulator which is actively maintained and extended. Likewise, {{w|FreeDOS}} is a free and open-source operating system designed to run on both older and newer computers which is compatible with programs written for MS-DOS.

The title text uses a different twist, criticizing the current use of {{w|fax}} machines. In many respects, faxing is obsolete compared to e-mail; it supports only black-and-white images, it complicates the process of modifying sent text by rendering it as images, it consumes the recipient's paper and toner and, in some countries, requires the recipient to pay a fee. Fax machines are a peculiar topic among "obsolete" technology; in some fields, like lawyer offices, pharmacies and medical practices, they staunchly hold their ground, as they offer a way to quickly transfer handwritten and hand-signed documents. Confidentiality is also an issue; fax, which uses a landline, is more difficult to intercept than internet-based traffic. In some countries, a telecopy is a valid document, having the same legal value as the original. A patient can thus call their doctor to fill a prescription, which is faxed to the pharmacy where the patient can fetch their drugs, saving precious time. In the same manner, a legal request can be sent to the receiver, without having to use a courier or express mail.

But rather than argue on any of the above points, the title text instead claims that faxing is obsolete due to being electron-based, while {{w|neutrino}}-based communication would be faster. In 2017, neutrino detectors are heavy and expensive, used for nuclear research only. Electronic communications travel at a fair share of the speed of light and the advantage of path would be at most a factor of π/2, so neutrino-based communication would normally be far too expensive compared to the speed gain. Even in the most extreme case (communicating between {{w|antipodes}}), the time saved would be a few hundredths of a second – insignificant for almost all purposes, but potentially enough to gain an edge in {{w|high-frequency trading}}, as suggested in a [https://www.forbes.com/sites/brucedorminey/2012/04/30/neutrinos-to-give-high-frequency-traders-the-millisecond-edge/#25d0ba7a590c 2012 ''Forbes'' article.] Real-world fax detractors would rather replace it with other electronic communication systems, not neutrinic ones.

==Transcript==

:[Ponytail sits in front of an old computer. Megan stands behind her.]
:Ponytail: Whoa, this is running MS-DOS! It's weird how new technology takes forever to reach some industries.
:Megan: Yeah. Like how we still use gunpowder for fireworks, even though we've had nuclear weapons for over 70 years.

{{comic discussion}}

[[Category:Comics featuring Ponytail]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Megan]]
[[Category:Computers]]
[[Category:Nuclear weapons]]

1891: Obsolete Technology

2022-10-25T00:07:22Z

Uranium233: Just adding the need for a citation

{{comic
| number = 1891
| date = September 18, 2017
| title = Obsolete Technology
| image = obsolete_technology.png
| titletext = And I can't believe some places still use fax machines. The electrical signals waste so much time going AROUND the Earth when neutrino beams can go straight through!
}}

==Explanation==
This comic mocks people who criticize an industry for using obsolete technology, even when said technology is sufficient for the task at hand. The claim often comes with the implication that those in charge of the industry are behind the times and cannot adapt to the cutting edge. What these critics often fail to realize is that there are cost benefits to sticking with "obsolete" infrastructure, and that upgrading to the newest tech can introduce unwanted side effects and other risks.

Here, [[Ponytail]] acts as one such critic, complaining that the business is taking "forever" to get with the times. [[Megan]] uses sarcasm to deliver her counterargument: despite the advent of nuclear weapons, fireworks use the ancient technology of {{w|gunpowder}} (invented in the 9th century), because fireworks are used by civilians for celebratory purposes and should have as few lethal side effects as possible. {{citation needed}}

As they use gunpowder, fireworks do claim a handful of lives and cause thousands of injuries each year due to improper handling procedures; between June 18th and July 18th of 2016 (thus including the {{w|Independence Day (United States)|Independence Day}} celebrations on July 4th), fireworks caused an estimated 11,000 injuries, of which 7,000 had to be treated in hospitals. In the whole year of 2016, four people died ([http://www.insurancejournal.com/news/national/2017/06/30/456213.htm U.S. stats]). Nuclear explosions, meanwhile, have "detrimental effects" {{citation needed}} on human health in the same way sledgehammers have "detrimental effects" {{citation needed}} to chicken eggs. For example, should a nuclear explosion at a firework display be too powerful, the spectators, and possibly the neighborhood around the display, would be vaporized instantly. Fallout from a nuclear reaction could spread radiation across a wide area, leading to increased risks of cancers and other detrimental{{citation needed}} genetic mutations.

In other words, sometimes using newer technology is "overkill" for the purpose, and it might be costlier to switch to a newer technology. For example, many industrial machines were designed and sold in the 1990s when {{w|floppy disk}}s were the prevalent means of storing the instructions, but those machines still have one or two or even more decades of usable lifetime left, and the instruction files still fit on those floppy disks. So, in 2017, there are several companies that thrive on buying, refurbishing and selling floppy disks. This [https://www.digitaltrends.com/computing/why-do-floppy-disks-still-exist-the-world-isnt-ready-to-move-on/ report] portrays one of these companies.

{{w|MS-DOS}} is a computer operating system made by {{w|Microsoft}} that was dominant during much of the 1980s. When Microsoft released the Windows line of operating systems, they encouraged people to switch to the new platform, which many did. MS-DOS became essentially obsolete when Microsoft released {{w|Windows 95}} in 1995. However, there remain rare circumstances in which MS-DOS (or another command-line operating system) is still preferred, such as when no mouse, touchscreen, or other pointing hardware is available, or when the hardware does not support a newer operating system. To make matters simpler, there is {{w|DOSBox}}, a free and open-source MS-DOS emulator which is actively maintained and extended. Likewise, {{w|FreeDOS}} is a free and open-source operating system designed to run on both older and newer computers which is compatible with programs written for MS-DOS.

The title text uses a different twist, criticizing the current use of {{w|fax}} machines. In many respects, faxing is obsolete compared to e-mail; it supports only black-and-white images, it complicates the process of modifying sent text by rendering it as images, it consumes the recipient's paper and toner and, in some countries, requires the recipient to pay a fee. Fax machines are a peculiar topic among "obsolete" technology; in some fields, like lawyer offices, pharmacies and medical practices, they staunchly hold their ground, as they offer a way to quickly transfer handwritten and hand-signed documents. Confidentiality is also an issue; fax, which uses a landline, is more difficult to intercept than internet-based traffic. In some countries, a telecopy is a valid document, having the same legal value as the original. A patient can thus call their doctor to fill a prescription, which is faxed to the pharmacy where the patient can fetch their drugs, saving precious time. In the same manner, a legal request can be sent to the receiver, without having to use a courier or express mail.

But rather than argue on any of the above points, the title text instead claims that faxing is obsolete due to being electron-based, while {{w|neutrino}}-based communication would be faster. In 2017, neutrino detectors are heavy and expensive, used for nuclear research only. Electronic communications travel at a fair share of the speed of light and the advantage of path would be at most a factor of π/2, so neutrino-based communication would normally be far too expensive compared to the speed gain. Even in the most extreme case (communicating between {{w|antipodes}}), the time saved would be a few hundredths of a second – insignificant for almost all purposes, but potentially enough to gain an edge in {{w|high-frequency trading}}, as suggested in a [https://www.forbes.com/sites/brucedorminey/2012/04/30/neutrinos-to-give-high-frequency-traders-the-millisecond-edge/#25d0ba7a590c 2012 ''Forbes'' article.] Real-world fax detractors would rather replace it with other electronic communication systems, not neutrinic ones.

==Transcript==

:[Ponytail sits in front of an old computer. Megan stands behind her.]
:Ponytail: Whoa, this is running MS-DOS! It's weird how new technology takes forever to reach some industries.
:Megan: Yeah. Like how we still use gunpowder for fireworks, even though we've had nuclear weapons for over 70 years.

{{comic discussion}}

[[Category:Comics featuring Ponytail]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Megan]]
[[Category:Computers]]
[[Category:Nuclear weapons]]