explain xkcd - User contributions [en]

2758: My Favorite Things

2026-04-04T00:46:38Z

Whoop whoop pull up: /* Explanation */

{{comic
| number = 2758
| date = April 3, 2023
| title = My Favorite Things
| image = my_favorite_things_2x.png
| imagesize = 277x426px
| noexpand = true
| titletext = When an Ur guy / sells Nanni things / but the copper's bad, / He simply records his complaint for all time / "I got a bad deal / I'm maaaaad"
}}

==Explanation==
Cueball begins singing "{{w|My Favorite Things (song)|My Favorite Things}}" from ''{{w|The Sound of Music}}''. But, during the second line, instead of continuing with the actual lyrics, he sings that the copper from his kettles is flaking off. He then realizes that he's been scammed, and curses the name of Ea-nāṣir to the heavens.

This references the {{w|complaint tablet to Ea-nāṣir}}, an archeological artifact containing the earliest known written business complaint, found in the ancient city of {{w|Ur}} and dated to around 1750 BCE. {{w|Ea-nāṣir}} was a Sumerian copper merchant, and the writer of the complaint alleged Ea-nāṣir had scammed him by offering sub-quality copper (echoed by Cueball's counterfeit copper kettle), refused to provide a refund and had fallen short of expectations in other ways. Additional correspondence was discovered, to indicate that this was not their only dissatisfied customer. Ea-nāṣir was also referenced in [[2650: Deepfakes]].

In recent years, this complaint tablet has become an internet meme, deriving humor from the fact that so many of its themes (business fraud, poor customer service, a hapless consumer trying to get his money back) are still very much applicable today, nearly 4,000 years later. One such meme references a 2021 fraud case in Turkey, in which [https://www.bloomberg.com/news/articles/2021-03-09/trader-buys-36-million-of-copper-and-gets-painted-rocks-instead a trader was charged 36 million USD for a shipment of copper ingots, which turned out to be stones, painted with a veneer to make them look like copper]. This line about "stone with a copper veneer" likely refers to this case.

The title text continues the parody for the chorus of the song, for which the original is "When the dog bites/When the bee stings/When I'm feeling sad/I simply remember my favorite things/And then I don't feel/So bad". "Ur guy" references Ea-nāṣir, while Nanni is the name of the customer who wrote the complaint.

==Transcript==
:[Cueball is standing between a small rosebush and a kitten.]
:Cueball (singing): Raindrops on roses and whiskers on kittens

:[Cueball is now wearing mittens and holding a kettle with flakes falling off it. The kitten is looking up at him. There is another kettle on the ground next to the rosebush.]
:Cueball (singing): Bright copper kettles leave ...flakes on my mittens!?

:[Cueball has turned the kettle he's holding upside down and is examining it. More flakes are falling off of it, seemingly drawing the kitten's interest.]
:Cueball (singing): Hey, these are stone with a copper veneer!

:[Cueball is holding his hands out with his elbows bent, still wearing the mittens, and perhaps with fists raised slightly in shock or anger, or perhaps just the exuberance of song. The two kettles are next to each other on the ground by the rosebush. The kitten is looking up at him again.]
:Cueball (singing): I've been bamboozled by Ea-nāṣir!

{{comic discussion}}
[[Category:Comics featuring real people]]
[[Category:Songs]]

3225: Satellite Pollution

2026-03-29T14:54:55Z

Whoop whoop pull up:

{{comic
| number = 3225
| date = March 27, 2026
| title = Satellite Pollution
| image = satellite_pollution_2x.png
| imagesize = 400x334px
| noexpand = true
| titletext = We're working to make sure the images are as up-to-date and accurate as possible, with a minimum number of sponsored galaxies.
}}

==Explanation==
{{incomplete|This page was created recently by a SATELLITE BOT SHOWING A FAKE XKCD COMIC. Don't remove this notice too soon.}}

A common concern with new satellite constellations like {{w|Starlink}} is that because that they rely on large numbers, they make ground-based astronomy more difficult by adding more noise, such as disruptive {{w|satellite flare}} producing something like {{w|star trail}}s during normal observations. They may also possibly obscure targets, though as the background stars (or even most other astronomical objects) is greatly outpaced by most examples of artificial satellite (especially those in {{w|low Earth orbit}}), this would be a momentary {{w|occultation}} at best, and longer term observations should at least give some opportunities to salvage some decent data.

This comic satirizes this, by talking about a hypothetical satellite company that knowingly launches inaccurate star maps to be overlaid across the night sky. This would not only obscure a fair amount of stars from view, but also show stars that don't actually exist in the night sky, thus providing confusion for an astronomer who fails to identify the interference, and annoyance for any that can.

Of course, such a plan would have many problems in implementing, such as the pure size and strength needed for the banner to survive in space while being large enough to be noticed by casual observers. Also, the banner would need to have its own light source, powerful enough to be seen from earth (although, depending on the distance the banner is from the earth, it would be easy to make lights capable of being visible from our planet; see the {{What If|13|laser pointer "What-If"}}). Finally, the banner would only provide a convincing star map for observers located on a small area of the earth's surface; observers outside this small area would see {{w|foreshortening}} of the star map, and experience strong {{w|motion parallax}} effects when travelling across the earth's surface, making for an unconvincing "sky".

The title text provides one potential reason for the inaccuracies in the banners (and possibly for the banner project as a whole). It seems that certain parties have been sponsoring the project, paying money in exchange for having galaxies added to the star maps on these banners. Possibly these sponsors were disappointed by the relative lack of galaxies visible to the naked eye in the night sky; aside from the {{w|Milky Way}} itself, portions of which can be seen from the Earth as a band stretching all the way across the night sky, only the {{w|Large Magellanic Cloud|Large}} and {{w|Small Magellanic Cloud}}s (two of the Milky Way's {{w|Satellite galaxies of the Milky Way|many satellite galaxies}}) and the {{w|Andromeda Galaxy}} are visible without at least using binoculars. All are easily obscured by {{w|light pollution}}, with even the Milky Way itself being invisible in the washed-out night skies of the populated urban and suburban areas where most humans live; even in dark rural skies, however, although the Milky Way itself can provide a breathtaking view, the Magellanic Clouds appear as irregular blotches and are primarily visible from the less-populated Southern Hemisphere, while the Andromeda Galaxy is visible as a tiny, easy-to-miss oval. The sponsors may have agreed to sponsor the project in order to add additional visible "galaxies" to the night sky and thus make the sky "more beautiful". Fortunately, it seems that the people in charge of the project have realized the problem, and have resolved to cut down on the number of sponsored galaxies in order to present a more accurate star map not as cluttered by fake space objects (although they do not ''completely'' remove them, implying that some level of sponsored embellishment to the star map is still required to keep the project running).

This comic may have a connection to the "collapse" of Google Image Search, where trying to find a real picture of a historical event or scientific phenomenon will now produce an overwhelmingly intrusive quantity of results produced by generative AI and easily mistaken as fact.

==Transcript==
:[White Hat and Ponytail are standing on the left, Cueball is on the right, in front of a poster on the wall. The poster has a portion of the Earth at the bottom, with outer space above it. The space scene has lots of stars, along with a few nebulae and galaxies. Part of the space scene is enclosed in a quadrilateral (apparently a rectangle skewed by perspective) which is attached at the middle of its left side to a much smaller object. Its upper edge shows that it has a little thickness, or at least a parallel stiffening frame, rather than being two-dimensional.]
:Ponytail: Aren't you worried these will be disruptive for ground-based astronomy?
:Cueball: No, why?
:[Caption below comic:]
:My new company is being criticized for our satellites that deploy 100-mile-wide banners painted with inaccurate pictures of the night sky.

{{comic discussion}}<noinclude>

[[Category:Comics featuring White Hat]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Ponytail]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Cueball]]
[[Category:Space]]
[[Category:Astronomy]]

3049: Incoming Asteroid

2026-03-29T05:38:14Z

Whoop whoop pull up: /* Explanation */

{{comic
| number = 3049
| date = February 10, 2025
| title = Incoming Asteroid
| image = incoming_asteroid_2x.png
| imagesize = 454x570px
| noexpand = true
| titletext = The bottom ones are also potentially bad news for any other planets in our solar system that have been counting on Earth having a stable orbit.
}}

==Explanation==
This comic may be inspired by the recent discovery of asteroid {{w|2024 YR4|2024 YR4}}, which, on the date of the comic (February 10, 2025), was estimated to have about 1-in-48 chance of striking Earth on December 22, 2032. Its size is estimated to be 40-90 meters. At the time, it was rated a 3 (out of a maximum of 10) on the {{w|Torino scale}}, a metric designed to evaluate the danger of a potential strike from a {{w|near-Earth object}} (further observations soon eliminated the possibility of an Earth impact, however). On this comic's scale (see [[#List of sizes and consequences|details below]]) it would be placed on the fourth label, the first label with bad news, as it could wipe out a city with a direct hit.

The Torino scale specifically addresses the future chance of impact, however, as well as the resulting energy (rather than pure mass or size) brought by the prospective impactor, and the retroactive Torino 8 classification of the similarly-sized Tunguska meteor, given as an 'example' in the table, is not really in the intended scope of the rating system, with events that have already happened already having reached 100% possibility with nothing left to plan for. For all foreseeable events, it is expected that the odds of impact (and therefore the Torino number) will continue to change as further observations refine the expected path into the vicinity of Earth, one or more times; it is generally hoped that all objects of interest will eventually reduce to zero, but for anything to reach levels 8 to 10 indicates the near-certainty of three distinct ranges of significant impact, which ''would'' need to be prepared for in one or more ways.

This comic provides a log scale correlating the size of any incoming asteroid to whether its arrival is good or bad news. While asteroids on the smaller end of the scale are good news for sky watchers, as the upcoming objects get bigger, the potential for catastrophe grows. Many astronomy enthusiasts would be happy to see bigger meteors, as bigger generally means more exciting pictures. Of course, once the meteors grow past a certain size even the most enthusiast astronomer might grow concerned about their imminent extinction.{{cn}}

The title text adds an additional point about asteroids on the larger end of the scale, which have enough mass to change Earth's orbit. If it changed enough it might intersect the orbit of other planets (probably Venus or Mars, since those are the closest, ([https://youtu.be/SumDHcnCRuU?si=_ZehAVFqTREdgSJb maybe])). This might lead to Earth colliding with that planet. Also, even without a collision, the changed orbit might perturb '''their''' orbits due to the Earth's gravitational force and cause negative consequences by either invoking or revoking {{w|Commensurability (astronomy)|orbital resonances}} between the various inner planets.

===Sizes and consequences===
{|class="wikitable sortable"
! scope="col" | Size
! scope="col" | Randall's news
! scope="col" | Explanation
|-
! 1 cm
|Good news! Meteors are pretty!
|Burn up in the atmosphere, becoming nothing more than a streak in the sky.
|-
! 30 cm
|Great news! You might see a fireball!
|Might descend far enough for the flames of its entry to be visible with the naked eye ({{w|bolide}}).
|-
! 3 m
|Okay news, unless you have expensive windows or are very unlucky.
|Can descend far enough for the shockwave of its passing to shatter windows. The comic mockingly claims this is only a problem if your windows are expensive or happen to get directly hit by it. Of course, the shattering windows are also concerns for safety, as the {{w|Chelyabinsk meteorite}}, which sits near the upper bound of this category at approximately 18 m in diameter, damaged more than 7,000 buildings and injured around 1,500 people with its shockwave.
|-
! 60 m
|Bad news, especially if you live near the city it's aimed at.
|The {{w|Tunguska event|Tunguska meteor}}, which flattened and burnt over 2,000 km2 of Siberian forest in 1908, was 50-60 m across. It would have been rated an 8 on the Torino scale as a certain collision with localized destruction, the very lowest level of active concern for any (near-)certain event.
|-
! 600 m
|Bad news, especially if you live on the continent it's aimed at.
|Can easily cause localized extinction, and can be expected to have effects on the rest of the world as well.
|-
! 9 km
|Bad news for your species.
|The {{w|Chicxulub crater|Chicxulub asteroid}} that wiped out non-avian dinosaurs was about 10 km in diameter.
|-
! 50 km
|Bad news for your phylum.
|{{w|Chordate|Our phylum}} is primarily all the vertebrate animals. The implication is that an asteroid over five times as wide (thus 125 times as massive) as the asteroid that wiped out the dinosaurs would cause the extinction of every animal with a spinal cord, which includes all of the higher life forms on earth (fish, and mammals). Presumably other, less complex, forms of life would survive.
|-
! 300 km
|Bad news for your biosphere.
|A global extinction event is pretty much guaranteed.
|-
! 2,000 km
|Good news for any life that might someday evolve on Earth's new moon.
|Earth's moon is believed to have been formed when Earth, in its infancy, was hit by an object of roughly this size. The comic assumes that another moon would form from another such impact, hypothesizes that life might evolve on that moon, {{tvtropes|BadNewsInAGoodWay|and pretends that it's good news}}. It is almost guaranteed that this would be so disruptive it would eliminate all life on earth either directly (via the heat and shock of the impact) or indirectly (via the loss of the oceans, much of the atmosphere, dust blocking the sun, or the entire surface of the earth being covered in magma) - however, there are {{w|Extremophile|extremophiles}} which could possibly survive the resulting conditions.
|-
! 25,000 km
|Bad news for whatever planet is about to get hit by Earth.
|At this size, the "asteroid" is over twice as large as Earth itself (whose diameter is about 12,700 km) and would only not be a planet due to a lack of a "{{w|Clearing the neighbourhood|clear neighborhood}}". Therefore, the comic points out, it would be more accurate to describe the Earth as crashing into the "asteroid"/other planet, not the other way around. Since the Earth would be totally destroyed in such an event, it would be the planet it hits that feels the aftermath of the impact, and would thus be classed as very bad news for anyone living on that planet, insofar as there could be anybody to experience any aftermath.

This was actually a plot point in the film {{w|Melancholia (2011 film)|Melancholia}} where it turns out that it is Earth that is colliding with the much bigger planet Melancholia, not the other way around. To be positioned well beyond the bottom end of this diagram, the film {{w|When Worlds Collide (1951 film)|When Worlds Collide}} entails a collision between the Earth and a vastly larger star passing through the solar system, or vice-versa, with no noted ill-effects to that star, nor to a planet (in orbit around that star) to which the few survivors from Earth escape.
|}

==Transcript==
:[A log chart is shown with several labels. Above it there is header:]
:<big>An asteroid is headed straight for Earth! That's...</big>

:[A log scale of lengths is shown on the left with a label at the top with an arrow pointing to the first number from the top shown next to the scale.]
:Asteroid size

:[The log scale starts with only 7 smaller ticks before the first large tick, and then there are the regular 9 small ticks in log fashion between each of the ten larger ticks, and then only 8 small ticks beneath the last large tick. Each of the 10 larger tick is labeled with a length size. With the first at the top being the one with an arrow pointing at it:]
:1 cm
:10 cm
:1 meter
:10 meters
:100 meters
:1 km
:10 km
:100 km
:1,000 km
:10,000 km

:[Around but not precisely at each labeled size there are ten descriptions of what should follow the header given such a size asteroid was about to hit Earth:]
:[1 cm:] ...Good news! Meteors are pretty!
:[30 cm:] ...Great news! You might see a fireball!
:[3 m:] ...Ok news, unless you have expensive windows or are very unlucky.
:[60 m:] ...Bad news, especially if you live near the city it's aimed at.
:[600 m:]...Bad news, especially if you live on the continent it's aimed at.
:[9 km:] ...Bad news for your species.
:[50 km:] ...Bad news for your phylum.
:[300 km:] ...Bad news for your biosphere.
:[2,000 km:] ...Good news for any life that might someday evolve on Earth's new moon.
:[25,000 km:] ...Bad news for whatever planet is about to get hit by Earth.

{{comic discussion}}

[[Category:Charts]]
[[Category:Astronomy]]
[[Category:Space]]

2723: Outdated Periodic Table

2026-02-10T14:20:12Z

Whoop whoop pull up: /* Explanation */

{{comic
| number = 2723
| date = January 11, 2023
| title = Outdated Periodic Table
| image = outdated_periodic_table_2x.png
| imagesize = 360x350px
| noexpand = true
| titletext = Researchers claim to have synthesized six additional elements in the second row, temporarily named 'pentium' through 'unnilium'.
}}

==Explanation==

This comic shows figure 6.14 from a science text book, which displays ''The {{w|periodic table}} of the elements'', but with only the first four elements ({{w|hydrogen}}, {{w|helium}}, {{w|lithium}} and {{w|beryllium}}) shown. [[Randall]] claims in the caption that you can use such charts to date a publication based upon the {{w|Chemical elements|elements}} present or missing. While this is true in a sense - for example, {{w|Nihonium}}, {{w|Moscovium}}, and {{w|Oganesson}} were first discovered in 2003, {{w|Tennessine}} was first discovered in 2010, and all four were named in 2016, thus charts made between 2010 and 2016 would have the {{w|systematic element name}}s Ununtrium, Ununpentium, Ununseptium and Ununoctium, those between 2003 and 2010 would have just Ununtrium, Ununpentium, and Ununoctium, and they would be completely absent from those before 2003 - Randall injects humor by taking it to the extreme and showcasing a periodic table from a book published just half an hour after the {{w|Big Bang}}, at which time those four elements were the only ones present.

From about 10 seconds until about 20 minutes after the Big Bang, the phase that is known as the {{w|Big Bang nucleosynthesis}} occurred. At that time, hydrogen ions (single protons) provided for helium in abundance and traces of lithium. Some berylium-7 was also formed, which is an unstable {{w|Isotopes of beryllium|isotope}} having a half life of 53 days. Randall's science book was published when those four elements were the only ones in existence, even though this would be absurd since no life as we know it could exist with only these four elements to write and publish the book; perhaps it is why Randall's mysterious textbook seems and manages to reflect the direct state of elements existing in nature, even though the real life periodic table was slowly filled out based on what could be easily found and later synthesized. For example, despite helium being one of the first elements to exist, and still one of the most common in the universe (roughly 24%, by mass, with hydrogen being around 75% and every other element combined being the remainder), it did not appear in the earliest periodic tables.

The title text refers to how yet-undiscovered elements are given a {{w|systematic element name}} as a temporary name, until a more permanent name is decided upon. The names are based upon a standard group of Greek and Latin roots that read out the decimal digits of an element's unique {{w|atomic number}} (i.e., the number of protons) and adding "-ium" to the end. The claim in the title text is that, in the textbook with the figure, researchers claim they have synthesized six additional elements in the second row, temporarily named 'pentium' (atomic number "5") through to 'unnilium' ("one zero", or "10"). In reality, all these elements are well known as {{w|Boron}}, {{w|Carbon}}, {{w|Nitrogen}}, {{w|Oxygen}}, {{w|Fluorine}} and {{w|Neon}}. The word "{{w|Pentium}}" is also the brand name of some computer hardware which ''may'' contain some amount of boron.

==Transcript==

:[Subheading]: Figure 6.14
:[Title]: The periodic table of the elements

:[The following four rectangles featuring the large element abbreviation, with the full element name written below, in a typical periodic table style]
:[Top row, far left]: H Hydrogen
:[Top row, far right, detached from any other box]: He Helium
:[Bottom row, attached directly below the "H" box]: Li Lithium
:[Bottom row, attached directly to the right of "Li"]: Be Beryllium

:[Caption below the panel]:
:You can spot an outdated science textbook by checking the bottom of the periodic table for missing elements. For example, mine was published half an hour after the Big Bang.

{{comic discussion}}
[[Category:Comics with lowercase text]]
[[Category:Chemistry]]
[[Category:Cosmology]]
[[Category:Periodic table]]

3204: Dinosaurs And Non-Dinosaurs

2026-02-10T14:13:47Z

Whoop whoop pull up: /* Creatures that don't seem like dinosaurs, and are not */

{{comic
| number = 3204
| date = February 6, 2026
| title = Dinosaurs And Non-Dinosaurs
| image = dinosaurs_and_non_dinosaurs_2x.png
| imagesize = 370x283px
| noexpand = true
| titletext = Staplers are actually in Pseudosuchia, making them more closely related to crocodiles than to dinosaurs.
}}

==Explanation==
{{incomplete|This page was created by a CHROME DINOSAUR; however, it is definitely not. Don't remove this notice too soon.}}

This comic explores the seeming paradox that certain extinct prehistoric species which are popularly thought of as being "dinosaurs" are, from a strict {{w|taxonomy|taxonomic}} viewpoint, not. It also takes into account the fact that all {{w|bird}} species are descended from {{w|dinosaur}}s and thus - again, from a strict taxonomic viewpoint - are themselves dinosaurs as well (see [[1211: Birds and Dinosaurs]]). To illustrate this, [[Randall]] provides silhouettes of
* dinosaurs
* entities that are widely thought of as dinosaurs but are not
* entities that are ''not'' widely thought of as dinosaurs but ''are'' (i.e. birds)
* and, lastly, entities that are neither dinosaurs nor thought of as dinosaurs (which is funny{{cn}} because it's so all-encompassing as to be practically meaningless, just like it would be if you replaced the word "dinosaurs" by any other plural noun, or adjective).

=== Creatures that seem like dinosaurs and are dinosaurs ===
* {{w|Stegosaurus}}
* {{w|Triceratops}}
* {{w|Tyrannosaurus}} Rex, whose name literally translates to ''Tyrant-Lizard King'', was a {{w|Late Cretaceous}} dinosaur, living during the {{w|Maastrichtian}} Age at the very end of the period. It was a contemporary of Triceratops and Mosasaurs, also listed in this comic. T-Rex is arguably the most well-known dinosaur, due to the recovery of intact skeletons, as well as successful marketing and pop-culture influences, such as ''{{w|Jurassic Park}}'', one of Randall's favorite films.
* {{w|Diplodocus}}
* {{w|Velociraptor}}

=== Creatures that seem like dinosaurs, but are not ===
Dinosaur is a {{w|paleontology}} term which refers to a specific group of reptiles, based upon evolutionary lines, bone structure and living domain. However, non-experts may have difficulty distinguishing these from other extinct large reptiles/creatures and apply the term somewhat indiscriminately, hence the confusion between what is scientifically included and what is culturally assumed to be included.

The creatures listed are:
* {{w|Mosasaur}}s were aquatic reptiles that existed during the Cretaceous. Although mosasaurs appeared in ''{{w|Jurassic World}}'', they are not closely related to dinosaurs. They actually evolved from lizards and are most closely related to either snakes or varanoids (such as the Komodo dragon).
* {{w|Plesiosaur}}s were another group of Mesozoic aquatic reptiles. Their place in the reptile family tree is debated, as they are not closely related to dinosaurs or any extant reptile.
* {{w|Pteranodon}} belonged to the group of flying reptiles known as pterosaurs. While dinosaurs and pterosaurs are both archosaurs and are more closely related to each other than other archosaurs (such as crocodilians; see title text explanation below), they diverged around 250 MYA, and are distinct enough to be entirely separate lineages.
* {{w|Dimetrodon}} lived in the {{w|Paleozoic}}, well before dinosaurs first evolved. They are synapsids, which makes them more closely related to {{w|mammal}}s than to any living reptiles.
* {{w|Quetzalcoatlus}} was a genus of flying pterosaurs, like ''Pteranodon'', that lived in the Maastrichtian Age (the end of the Cretaceous) alongside mosasaurs, T-Rex, and many others. They were some of the largest flying animals in history, with wingspans up to 36 feet (11m). They were not, however, dinosaurs, as they had pterosaur ancestry.

=== Creatures that don't seem like dinosaurs, but are ===
Due to the popular depiction of dinosaurs as prehistoric large reptiles, many people don't view modern birds as dinosaurs. However, as Randall [[1211:_Birds and Dinosaurs|loves to remind people]], dinosaurs such as ''T-rex'' are more closely related (temporally, anatomically, and phylogenetically) to birds than to some other dinosaurs such as ''Stegosaurus'', and therefore, birds '''are''' dinosaurs in their own right.
* {{w|Penguin}}
* {{w|Heron}}
* {{w|Ostrich}}
* {{w|Pigeon}}
* {{w|Falcon}} or {{w|Petrel}} (both of them qualify)

=== Creatures that don't seem like dinosaurs, and are not ===
* {{w|Squirrel}}: Squirrels are mammals, and dinosaurs are reptiles. Most people also think of dinosaurs as large and dangerous, while squirrels tend to be small and relatively harmless (although their bites can transmit infection.) Could also be made of [[2186:_Dark_Matter|dark matter]].
* {{w|Stapler}}: Staplers are inanimate objects, and dinosaurs are living creatures.
* {{w|Flowerpot|Potted plant}} or {{w|pineapple}}: Dinosaurs are animals, and plants are not.
* {{w|Human}}: Humans are mammals, and dinosaurs are reptiles. In fact, the {{w|Jurassic Park (franchise)|''Jurassic Park''}} series often pits the two against each other.
* {{w|Bicycle}}: While they tend to be more mobile than staplers, and have {{w|Dandy_horse|some relation}} to horses, bicycles are also not living creatures.

The title text is a further joke about taxonomy, seemingly predicated on the assumption that staplers are biological organisms (which they are not),{{Citation needed}} and can thus be sorted into taxa. ''{{w|Pseudosuchia}}'' is in fact the clade of archosaurs that includes crocodilians, and staplers bear a certain resemblance to the open mouth of a crocodilian. Also, "suchia" sounds a little like "suture," and in some sense staples are pseudo {{w|Surgical_suture|sutures}}.

The original {{w|Linnaean taxonomy}} ''did'' at first have a top-level classification for "mineral" taxonomy, in addition to those for animal and plant, which {{w|Twenty questions#Popular variants|in its broadest sense}} might allow one to assign a stapler a taxonomic relationship with dinosaurs.

==Transcript==
:[A 2x2 chart where each of the four quadrants contains five silhouettes. These depict various animals, a few objects, and a human. Above each column and to the left of each row there are a label:]
:[Left column:] Are dinosaurs
:[Right column:] Are not dinosaurs
:[Upper row:] Seem like dinosaurs
:[Lower row:] Don't seem like dinosaurs

:[Here follows a list of what are in each of the four quadrants:]

:[Top left (seem like dinosaurs, are dinosaurs):]
:[Stegosaurus, triceratops, tyrannosaurus, diplodocus, and velociraptor.]

:[Top right (seem like dinosaurs, are not dinosaurs):]
:[Mosasaur, quetzalcoatlus, dimetrodon, plesiosaur, and pteranodon.]

:[Bottom left (don't seem like dinosaurs, are dinosaurs):]
:[Penguin, egret, falcon, pigeon, and ostrich.]

:[Bottom right (don't seem like dinosaurs, are not dinosaurs):]
:[Squirrel, stapler, bicycle, human (here depicted as Cueball), and potted plant.]

{{comic discussion}}<noinclude>
[[Category:Confusion matrices]]
[[Category:Biology]]
[[Category:Dinosaurs]]
[[Category:Velociraptors]]
[[Category:Squirrels]]
[[Category:Animals]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Cueball]]

797: debian-main

2026-02-03T15:46:54Z

Whoop whoop pull up:

{{comic
| number = 797
| date = September 24, 2010
| title = debian-main
| image = debian_main.png
| titletext = dpkg: error processing package (--purge): subprocess pre-removal script returned error exit 163: OH_GOD_THEYRE_INSIDE_MY_CLOTHES
}}

==Explanation==
{{w|Debian}} is a GNU/Linux distribution most notable for introducing {{w|Advanced Packaging Tool|APT}} (Advanced Packaging Tool). APT is a tool that functions as an automated general software installer for GNU/Linux systems; all one has to do is tell it what software package they would like to install, and the program will automatically fetch the software and all of its dependencies (other packages that a program relies on, such as a library for processing ZIP archives) from a central ''repository''. It will also automatically handle upgrades by automatically checking if the repository version of a package is higher than the currently installed version, and it can even handle the use of multiple repositories and linking between them; for example, if a piece of software is deemed worthy of inclusion in Debian's main repository, but as a stable release, the software developers can provide their own repository to provide a more experimental version for users who want it, and once that repository is added to APT's source list, APT will automatically realize that it should use the experimental version, since it has a higher version than that of the main repository. Although this wasn't the first package management system for easy GNU/Linux installation (that honor goes to {{w|RPM Package Manager|RPM}}), it is the first one that seamlessly integrated online installation and upgrades into the mix.

Debian's main repository, debian-main, is included by default in all Debian installations. It's what you might call the "canon" of Debian, containing only those packages that have been approved by official Debian developers. Thus, getting a package on debian-main means that it, theoretically, conforms to a standard of quality.

In this case, however, the Debian developers seem to have not noticed that one of the dependencies for the package is "locusts." {{w|Locust}}s are real insects, the migratory forms of several grasshopper species, that are best known for breeding extremely quickly, swarming, and devouring all green plant matter they come across, resulting in crop devastation (some consider this a plague). In some parts of the world they are also considered a delicacy. [[Cueball]] probably does not appreciate this as they crawl over his body searching for food, apparently spontaneously generated by APT as it saw that it needed "locusts" to install the package.

The title text is an error line from <code>dpkg</code>, the program used to install/remove APT packages. Every package contains several scripts (although some of them may be empty) that are run on various events related to that package; these are used to perform any setup/cleanup tasks the package needs. This line is an error line indicating that one of those scripts has failed. The relevant portions are:

*<code>error processing package (--purge)</code>: --purge is the option to purge a package completely from the system. This means that the program itself, all related data files, and all configuration files are removed from the system. So, the user was attempting to completely remove the locusts from the system without leaving a trace.
*<code>subprocess pre-removal script</code>: The pre-removal script is the code run before actually removing a piece of software. Mostly, this allows long-running software (such as webservers) to stop themselves before removing anything, to avoid corrupting the hard disk. That means the error came while the computer was preparing to get rid of the locusts.
*<code>returned error exit 163</code>: "Returned error" means just what it says, the script returned an error. "Exit" means that the error was a result of calling the <code>exit()</code> function with a non-zero value, specifically the value 163. The exact value has no real significance other than signifying to a user or other application that understands what the code means; neither <code>dpkg</code> nor the Linux kernel itself treat any exit value specially, apart from checking whether the value is 0 (which means no error).
*<code>OH_GOD_THEYRE_INSIDE_MY_CLOTHES</code>: This is the message returned along with the error. This seems to be a message from the programmer, somewhat like the apocryphal "Help! I'm trapped in ... factory" [[10|urban myth]]. The programmer has failed to write a functioning pre-removal script, due to locusts and is calling for help via an error message.

==Transcript==
:[A swarm of insects cover Cueball and his computer. They are leaning back on their chair, flailing to get away.]
:Cueball: AAAAAAAA

:[Caption below panel:]
:My package made it into debian-main because it looked innocuous enough; no one noticed "locusts" in the dependency list.

==Trivia==
*This is fixed in [https://metadata.ftp-master.debian.org/changelogs/main/m/mingetty/unstable_changelog#versionversion1.07-2:~:text=Checked%20dependencies%20for-,locusts,-.%20(Closes%3A%20http%3A//xkcd Debian's mingetty 1.07-2] and above.

{{comic discussion}}

[[Category:Comics featuring Cueball]]
[[Category:Linux]]
[[Category:Animals]]

1678: Recent Searches

2026-02-03T15:16:53Z

Whoop whoop pull up: /* List of searches */

{{comic
| number = 1678
| date = May 9, 2016
| title = Recent Searches
| image = recent_searches.png
| titletext = autoexec code posted by verified twitter users
}}

==Explanation==
People often find answers to computer problems by searching on {{w|Google}}, which attempts to guess your intended search term based on your location, language and the characters you've already typed, placing its suggestions in a drop-down box beneath the input area. If the search box is clicked on but nothing is typed, the drop-down box by default shows a list of your most recent searches.

Here we see a list of search queries, each of which suggests the author is perversely misusing or overextending some computer technology. The overall impression is of someone technically sophisticated enough to shoot themselves in the foot, and who does not learn any larger lessons despite doing so repeatedly. The title text is another possible entry in this list.

The caption implies that from Randall's perspective, every computer he uses seems to be broken; he doesn't seem to realize this is because he's the one using them, not because the computers actually start off broken. (For similar themes see also these comics: [[349: Success]], [[1084: Server Problem]], [[1316: Inexplicable]] and [[1586: Keyboard Problems]]).

([[979|Dear people from the future]], if Google directed you here because it is the most popular result for a problem you are experiencing, this is not the page you were looking for).

===List of searches===
; [https://www.google.com/search?q=Google+translate+syntax+highlighting Google translate syntax highlighting]
: {{w|Syntax highlighting}} can be used when editing {{w|source code}} to make the code more readable and easier to understand. It is not generally used for natural languages, but {{w|sentence diagram}}s of brief passages are used in language education. {{w|Google Translate}} is used to translate text from one {{w|natural language}} to another. It uses {{w|JavaScript}} <tt>mouseover()</tt> to highlight words as an aid in matching phrases in the source with their translations, but does not apply different highlighting dependent on syntax.
:Alternatively, this could imply that Randall is attempting to translate code from one programming language to another using Google Translate. Success would be unlikely, since the service is not intended for this,{{Citation needed}} and syntactically valid output might further break the computer executing it.
:Two other possible interpretations of this phrase are that Randall wants to translate the phrase "syntax highlighting" to another language, or that he wants to perform syntax highlighting on the source code for Google Translate.
; Autodetect mixed bash zsh
: {{w|Bash (Unix shell)|Bash}} and {{w|Z_shell|Zsh}} are two {{w|Command-line_interface|command line interfaces}} for {{w|Unix-like}} OSes. The way to execute commands is almost identical, making detecting a script that contains a mixed syntax nearly impossible. This was later referenced in [[2510: Modern Tools]].
; CPU temperature sensor limits
: The CPU's temperature sensors exist to tell you when your CPU is becoming dangerously overheated (normally because of a faulty fan or overclocking). Someone who searches for information about the limits of those sensors is presumably expecting to misuse their CPU. Probably also a reference to [[1172: Workflow]].
; GIF to XLS
: .GIF (Graphic Interchange Format) is a file extension used to store images and sequences of images to be displayed as an animation. .XLS is the file extension for Microsoft Excel spreadsheets. The joke is that the two file types are used for different purposes - it's quite normal for someone to want to convert between .GIF, .JPG, .PNG, .BMP files, as these are all image files; or between .XLS, .CSV, and .ODS files, as these all record tabulated information. However, for some reason Randall wants to convert an image file to a spreadsheet. (This is actually possible, because a digital image is essentially an array of color and brightness values; it just wouldn't be particularly useful for most people. [http://www.think-maths.co.uk/spreadsheet Here] is a webpage with an online converter.) Matt Parker has done a [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UBX2QQHlQ_I stand up routine] about converting these two file types.
:An alternate way to convert an image file, such as a .GIF file, into a text-based file like an .XLS file, is through {{w|optical character recognition}} (OCR). This is only effective if the image is a copy (i.e. a scan or reasonably clear photograph) of a document containing letters and words, and neither .GIF nor .XLS are file formats anyone would usually use in that case.
; Clock speed jumper sample rate
: A jumper is an intentional short circuit used for selecting options for an electronic circuit. They are usually used where it is not feasible to use programming (such as outputting a byte or word through a port) to alter the selection, such as before the processor even begins executing. A common example would be, on some motherboards, jumpers can be used to alter the clock speeds of various motherboard functions (such as the CPU or the front side bus). These jumpers should ordinarily be modified when the computer is off. However, this search is asking how often the motherboard checks the status of the clock speed jumpers, implying that they intend to change these jumpers while the computer is powered on, and often enough that the sample rate matters (change CPU speed several times a second, by moving jumpers on the motherboard.). This would likely make the computer crash, or worse, cause physical damage to its components.
; [https://www.google.com/search?q=clean+reinstall+keybinding Clean reinstall keybinding]
: This refers to keybinding, the practice of mapping (binding) a certain key to a certain function (e.g., pressing PRTSC will take a screenshot). Most keyboards do not output characters directly, but only codes for which keys have been pressed (or released). Keybindings translate the pressing of the "A" key on your keyboard into the letter "A" being sent to a program which is reading keyboard input. A "clean reinstall" of keybindings is something that would almost never be necessary - it means Randall has modified his default keybindings to such an extent that his [[1031:_s/keyboard/leopard/|leopard]] has become unusable (similar to [[1284: Improved Keyboard]]), necessitating a "clean reinstall" of the bindings. Alternatively, he might be doing clean reinstalls so often that he wants a keybinding to execute them with minimal loss of time.
; Cron job to update crontab
: {{w|Cron}} is a utility on most Unix-like OSes that allows you to schedule commands or scripts to be run periodically. These scheduled jobs are read from a ''crontab'' file. A job that updates the crontab (therefore creating new jobs, removing old ones or editing existing ones) is paramount to a {{w|job scheduler}}, and trying to use cron for such functionality could result in highly unstable functionality (although a crontab could be sensibly regenerated periodically by a set of machines from a master crontab file annotated with per-host directives). This is similar to {{w|self-modifying code}}.
; [https://www.google.com/search?q=fsck+chrome+extension fsck Chrome extension]
: This is a search for an interface to the Unix '''f'''ile'''s'''ystem che'''ck'''er {{w|fsck}} via third-party software added to Chrome. fsck is a program for checking your filesystem for corruption. Repairing a filesystem this way would be inadvisable.{{Citation needed}} This might indicate confusion about the meaning of the term "online filesystem repair", in which "online" means "while the filesystem is in use" rather than "over the Internet". Alternatively, Randall might want to repair an installation of the operating system chromeOS, in a manner less drastic than the {{w|factory reset}} preferred by Google.
; Recursive font
: An idiosyncratic mix of {{w|recursion}} and the font style ''{{w|cursive}}'', referring especially to text handwritten in a flowing manner. {{w|PostScript}} (the language in which {{w|PostScript fonts|some fonts}} are written) is capable of recursion and PostScript Type 3 fonts are able to use the full language. This could create effects like fonts with complicated fractal borders and fill patterns - but the increase in processing time would contribute to seeming brokenness of the computer (or printer) rendering the font.
:A true recursive font would be a form of {{w|fractal}}s ([http://blog.matthen.com/post/5340546486/first-sketches-in-mathematica-for-a-new-font-it example]). Notably, there is a font called [https://recursive.design Recursive] which is called that because it is a variable font with 5 axes.
; Regex matching valid EBNF
: EBNF refers to {{w|Extended Backus–Naur Form}}, which is used to define {{w|formal language}}s. EBNF specifies recursive patterns that are impossible for a {{w|Regular_Expression|regular expression}} (regex) to determine whether it is valid or not. There is some irony in using regex to test the validity of something which ''defines'' the validity of things like regex.
; [https://www.google.com/search?q=Hardlinks+Turing+complete Hardlinks Turing complete]
: In some file systems, for example {{w|ext4}} and {{w|NTFS}}, a single file may be referenced in multiple places in the file system. These filenames are termed "hard links" because the operating system automatically resolves them to the actual file. "Soft" or "symbolic" links are resolved indirectly via a pathname, which may reside anywhere. A file is considered deleted when the last hard link to it is unlinked; a soft link exists independently of its target. In fact, the target need not exist, in which case this is often called a dangling symbolic link.
:{{w|Turing completeness}} is the {{w|computational complexity}} required to simulate any {{w|computable function}} (given an infinite amount of memory). Recently there have been cases where [http://beza1e1.tuxen.de/articles/accidentally_turing_complete.html unexpected mechanisms] from card games to text parsers were proved to be Turing complete. Hardlinks being Turing complete would imply that creating and deleting hardlinks alone is enough to satisfy the requirements of Turing completeness.
; Opposite of safe mode
: {{w|Safe mode}} is a diagnostic mode in many operating systems and applications which allows the user to troubleshoot problems by disabling unnecessary functionality. The "opposite of safe mode" implies a "dangerous mode" where the purpose is to allow uselessly dangerous actions (in actuality this supposed dangerous mode is the default mode). A common example is the {{w|su_(Unix)|su}} command in Unix-like OSes, which grants the user system-level permissions on an ongoing basis.
:It's also possible that Randall sees Safe Mode so often that he sees regular mode as an unusual and unique state and needs help navigating back to it.
; Predictive touchpad
: {{w|Predictive text}} is a feature of many smartphone keyboards that predicts the most likely word the user wishes to type, and then gives the user the option to place the full word in the sentence immediately without having to finish typing it. A {{w|touchpad}} is a computer pointing device, similar to a {{w|computer mouse}}. The idea of a "predictive touchpad" seems absurd because, as opposed to typed words, there are not a limited number of swipe combinations that are possible on a touchpad. A "predictive touchpad" implies that a computer could predict where the user was going to move the mouse or click, which in this case would seem to defeat the purpose of a user input device.{{Citation needed}}

; Google docs from bootloader
: A {{w|bootloader}} is a very small program that is usually the very first thing to execute when a computer boots up. It is used mainly for loading the operating system into memory. Such a program by itself would not be capable of directly running something as complex as {{w|Google Docs}}.
; Hardware acceleration red channel only
: {{w|Hardware acceleration}} means that certain calculations are not performed by the computer's {{w|CPU}} but by a "specialized" processor, e.g. a {{w|GPU}} which is part of the graphics adapter. This speeds up output, especially if complex 3D calculations are required, and reduces CPU load. To use this function only on a single color channel seems pretty useless, but one may want to troubleshoot a program that displays only red when hardware acceleration is enabled.
:While graphics cards are most commonly used with three or four channels (red, green, blue, and sometimes alpha), they do support two-channel or single-channel images. An 8-bit single-channel image would use the format '[https://www.opengl.org/wiki/Image_Load_Store#Format_qualifiers R8]', which is indeed 'red channel only'. This type of image could be used to store monochrome images or non-image data.
; autoexec code posted by verified twitter users. ('''Title text''')
: The term "autoexec" refers to code that runs automatically, usually during boot, and derives from one of three boot-time files for {{w|MS-DOS}}: AUTOEXEC.BAT, CONFIG.SYS and COMMAND.COM. AUTOEXEC.BAT would typically contain commands for customizing the command prompt, loading additional drivers, and/or automatically launching a program.
:Automatically executing code from the Internet is generally a terrible idea, because it could be written by someone with malicious intent and harm your computer. The joke here is that the code would only be executed if written by someone who has been "verified" on Twitter. Twitter's verification service (at the time the comic was made) only served to show that a user was who they claimed to be, not whether anything they say (or program) could be trusted, so this would provide little protection. Usually, Twitter verification is used by celebrities so they can be distinguished from people claiming to be them. The line implies that Randall is only interested in running code posted by celebrities.
:Most code downloaded from authentic sources (such as Microsoft and official Linux distributions) is verified by a cryptographic signature from a true trusted source, authenticating the origin of the software. These may include software updates that run automatically in the background. The joke here is that the term "verified" means very different things between Twitter users and software distribution.
:Additional hilarity was added to this by circumstances in 2022 when, after [[Elon Musk]]'s takeover of the site, anyone could buy a visually identical verification symbol for $8. With a number of notable spoof/fake accounts being 'verified', it was potentially an even worse idea than it was in the first place — not that all genuinely verified users could be trusted to be unimpeachable in this regard.

==Transcript==
:[Colored and styled as the real logo:]
:GOOGLE

:[Google Search bar, with a drop down box with faded text, implying recent searches.]
:Google translate syntax highlighting
:Autodetect mixed bash zsh
:CPU temperature sensor limits
:GIF to XLS
:Clock speed jumper sample rate
:Clean reinstall keybinding
:Cron job to update crontab
:fsck Chrome extension
:Recursive font
:Regex matching valid EBNF
:Hardlinks Turing complete
:Opposite of safe mode
:Predictive touchpad
:Google docs from bootloader
:Hardware acceleration red channel only

:[Caption below the frame:]
:'''I have no idea why my computers are always broken.'''

{{comic discussion}}
[[Category:Comics with color]]
[[Category:Google Search]]

Talk:3193: Sailing Rigs

2026-01-29T15:36:18Z

Whoop whoop pull up:

Here before all the "here im first" comments [[User:TheTrainsKid|TheTrainsKid]] ([[User talk:TheTrainsKid|talk]]) 05:06, 13 January 2026 (UTC)

I can't help but notice that he forgot about cutters. [[User:PDesbeginner|PDesbeginner]] ([[User talk:PDesbeginner|talk]]) 05:07, 13 January 2026 (UTC)
: :D [[User:Qwertyuiopfromdefly|Qwertyuiopfromdefly]] ([[User talk:Qwertyuiopfromdefly|talk]]) 05:15, 13 January 2026 (UTC)

Flettner Rig may refer to https://xkcd.com/3119/ [[Special:Contributions/73.225.91.80|73.225.91.80]] 06:19, 13 January 2026 (UTC)
:Yes, but also https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Flettner_rotor [[Special:Contributions/130.76.187.47|130.76.187.47]] 12:57, 13 January 2026 (UTC)

Flettner rotors require some power from the ship's main propulsion to turn them. This wouldn't be possible in a sailing scenario [[Special:Contributions/167.103.126.166|167.103.126.166]] 20:57, 15 January 2026 (UTC)
:What if you drove them from a ship-mounted wind turbine? [[User:Whoop whoop pull up|Whoop whoop pull up]] ([[User talk:Whoop whoop pull up|talk]]) 15:36, 29 January 2026 (UTC)

I see Randall has taken up a new hobby :D [[Special:Contributions/152.115.135.109|152.115.135.109]] 08:21, 13 January 2026 (UTC)
:Perhaps. I presume that the entire comic is in service to the pun in the title text. [[User:Philhower|Philhower]] ([[User talk:Philhower|talk]]) 13:44, 13 January 2026 (UTC)
::Originaly the title text was made after the comic, as an extra joke that is not originally part of the plan. This I have seen Randall say at some point. So I would not expect he came up with the pun and then the made the comic. Of course he could have changed his mind. But there are several other jokes and references in the 18 labels of the boats, so it is not only the catch22 joke anyway. --[[User:Kynde|Kynde]] ([[User talk:Kynde|talk]]) 16:19, 14 January 2026 (UTC)

Wikipedia does have a kite rig web page. That's a real thing, but usually not as pretty as here. And I suppose you could do helium balloons. Robert Carnegie rja.carnegie@gmail.com [[Special:Contributions/85.115.54.203|85.115.54.203]] 11:46, 13 January 2026 (UTC)

Why is this page (alone of all the comics, as far as I've seen) mirrored? The comic image, text, angle of the italics, etc. are all reversed on both the comic page and the front page. Stock Safari on iOS 16.7.12. [[User:D5xtgr|D5xtgr]] ([[User talk:D5xtgr|talk]]) 14:03, 13 January 2026 (UTC)
:"Troll revision". Got it, mystery solved. Though I'm a bit surprised that raw styling like that's allowed, not just wiki markup. [[User:D5xtgr|D5xtgr]] ([[User talk:D5xtgr|talk]]) 14:09, 13 January 2026 (UTC)

I remember looking through all kinds of rig-types when trying to describe (and/or explain) a ''prior'' comic with a particular sailing ship design on it (some time ago, not sure which one). Might well be that Randall's been looking at the same page as I did. ;) [[Special:Contributions/92.23.2.208|92.23.2.208]] 14:44, 13 January 2026 (UTC)

The offset rig one could be a reference to speed record sailboats. (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Vestas_Sailrocket) For torque reasons, they have the mast mounted on a horizontal boom and offset far off the side of the boat. Though on the other hand, speed record boats have this boom above the water, and only have single sails. [[Special:Contributions/2600:4040:2C96:4700:953D:B3CC:B3DB:2C2E|2600:4040:2C96:4700:953D:B3CC:B3DB:2C2E]] 15:19, 13 January 2026 (UTC)
:That looks to me more like a form of catamaran (or partly-inline trimarang). {{unsigned ip|92.23.2.208|20:04, 13 January 2026 (UTC)}}
:: Are you sure it isn't a boomarang? [[Special:Contributions/82.13.184.33|82.13.184.33]] 09:54, 14 January 2026 (UTC)
:::You're probably thinking of a boo!meringue, a surprising way to use egg-whites. [[Special:Contributions/82.132.238.61|82.132.238.61]] 14:12, 14 January 2026 (UTC)

The definition of yawl is wrong. What matters is not position of mizzen relative to rudder post, but to water line. Ketches often have the mizzen mast behind the rudder. {{unsigned ip|46.114.57.23|15:23, 13 January 2026 (UTC)}}
:There is no hard-and-fast definition of ketch vs yawl, really it goes by how the boat handles. Having said that, the usual definition, and most commonly quoted, is whether the mizzen mast is fore or aft of the rudder post... and in most cases this definition works. [[User:Martin|Martin]] ([[User talk:Martin|talk]]) 22:15, 13 January 2026 (UTC)

Bunkbed rig could also be reference to a Hydrofoil, the idea that the boat moves so fast it climbs out of the water. [[Special:Contributions/198.180.154.20|198.180.154.20]] 15:48, 13 January 2026 (UTC)

The "OOPS, ALL SPINNAKERS" could be made to work (although only sailing downwind, and only up to the speed of the airflow) by using spinnakers increasingly tightly woven so that the upwind ones would let pass most of the airflow with the subsequent ones being increasingly tightly woven, thus minimalizing the loss of efficiency due to the escape of airflow around the edges of each spinnaker. Such a setup could potentially allow to maximize the use of the airflow force when sailing directly downwind, although the increase in complexity and wheight would likely lead to an overall loss of efficiency compared to a single, well-designed spinnaker. In any case the spinnaker (basically a parachute on a mast) is only designed to add a little extra boost when sailing downwind in a strong wind for a relatively long time (when the main sails can't catch much wind; in this configuration the main sail(s) are typically angled at a very wide angle against the airflow which is very suboptimal for a "foil" sail), in all other cases the foil-like sails are much more efficient and do allow to sail faster than the wind, which the spinnaker can't achieve, by design. [[Special:Contributions/2001:861:3F07:A020:D17C:74A0:94EF:9DAD|2001:861:3F07:A020:D17C:74A0:94EF:9DAD]] 21:30, 13 January 2026 (UTC)

"Real: No" should probably be "Real: Not as of January 13, 2026." Because at least for a few of those, someone out there will see the comic and say "Hmm, that's an interesting idea" and make it happen. [[Special:Contributions/64.201.132.210|64.201.132.210]] 22:05, 13 January 2026 (UTC)

The explanation for Yawl contains an incorrect definition of fore-and-aft rigging. It says a mast has two sails "One in front of the mast and one behind, known as fore-and-aft rigging" but that is not what fore-and-aft rigging means. Even a single sail can be fore-and-aft rigged, which means it is rigged to a boom and/or the centreline of the boat. This is different from square-rigged, which means rigged to a spar which goes across the boat from one side to the other (at right angles to the centreline). [[User:Martin|Martin]] ([[User talk:Martin|talk]]) 22:26, 13 January 2026 (UTC)

The Offset Rig would work downwind. But it would *only* work downwind because the center of effort is so far forward of the center of lateral resistance. [[User:Martin|Martin]] ([[User talk:Martin|talk]]) 23:33, 13 January 2026 (UTC)

=== Cropped images ===

I brought over the [[:Template:CSS image crop]] from enwiki and added cropped images to the table and…it doesn't look quite as good as I had hoped.
Perhaps they need to be scaled down. Still, my patience for finding all the boundaries and entering them is at an end, so … perhaps someone else can make it look better without doing a lot of work. Not sure. good luck. (I forget how this was done in prior explanations, ugh. Maybe in a better way. I forgot to look before doing this work.) [[User:JohnHawkinson|JohnHawkinson]] ([[User talk:JohnHawkinson|talk]]) 15:29, 13 January 2026 (UTC)
:I went through the very-redlinking documentation part and stripped out (or commented out) various things that did not 'translate well' on this site due to not having the requisite support templates. (And trivially list-formatted the parameter explanations.) (I didn't stop it from giving itself the redlinked category used to track invalid uses of the template, checking the documented examples could reveal which does that... assuming we don't want to just remove that check-and-categorisation from the 'working' template codeanyway.) If anyone cares to look at the form of the code that has so much more transcluded template-formatting, it's the second edit-version of the page that you need to go through and consider what can be (and needs to be) re-added in.
:As to how we've done it before, it's generally done by salami-slicing the image (from the big image on this or the original site) and then manually uploading those mini fragments as images in their own right to use in support (see, e.g. how [[730: Circuit Diagram]] has done it). [[Special:Contributions/92.23.2.208|92.23.2.208]] 20:04, 13 January 2026 (UTC)
::Thanks, yes, I thought about fixing up the template documentation and decided it just was not worth the effort, but happy to have you have done it. I do think using "sprites" from the main image works better than uploading the cross product of rows and columns as separate files. Thanks for the 730 reference, all I could remember was [[1928: Seven Years]] where I solved a different but related problem in a different way (overlay numbering sub-panels while applying an alpha channel and referencing those numbers as callouts), though curiously we did not continue it for [[2386: Ten Years]] or [[3172: Fifteen Years]]. Maybe there should be a [[:Category:Image-based explanation markup solutions]] to put these all in. I am a little bit joking, but more serious than not.
::Also, we could definitely rewrite this template so it could be used in a less verbose way with numbered parameter fields and maybe a scaling factor. Or, for that matter, to take a list of intersection points and to return the nth sub-image given those corner points. But, of course, I went with what seemed the easiest lift at the time. [[User:JohnHawkinson|JohnHawkinson]] ([[User talk:JohnHawkinson|talk]]) 20:42, 13 January 2026 (UTC)
:::Apparnetly [[User:DollarStoreBa'al|@DollarStoreBa'al]] disagrees first. I wish they had said something. [[User:JohnHawkinson|JohnHawkinson]] ([[User talk:JohnHawkinson|talk]]) 21:49, 13 January 2026 (UTC)
::::My bad. Just noticed that somebody wanted to resize easier, and so I did that. By the way, I don't believe this site can do pings (I certainly didn't get one). Also thought it would be easier to modify the images by just going the traditional way instead of using CSS.--'''''[[User:DollarStoreBa'al|DollarStoreBa'al]][[User Talk:DollarStoreBa'al|Converse]] 00:50, 14 January 2026 (UTC)
{{outdent|4}} Where/with whom was the resizing discussion, please? As for pings, yes, I guess I expect you to read the talk page. Also, please use an edit summary, especially if you are going to undo someone else's hard and innovative work! [[User:JohnHawkinson|JohnHawkinson]] ([[User talk:JohnHawkinson|talk]]) 08:06, 14 January 2026 (UTC)
: Could be refering to your above "Perhaps they need to be scaled down." comment?
: And the wiki principle in use here is that if someone sees merit in completely overhauling any page, for whatever reason, then they can do. As you added a completely new-to-this-site template for your idea of how to do it. Which was interesting, and may be useful in the future as well, but might have used a bit more review along the way. This doesn't stop someone else reversing or rechanging what another person did for similarly imagined good reasons, and it only becomes a problem if it's done with bad intent and/or becomes a battle between two mutually exclusive ideologies. Summaries are useful, of course, but some changes may also be fairly self-evident. [[Special:Contributions/82.132.238.61|82.132.238.61]] 14:12, 14 January 2026 (UTC)
:: [[Special:Contributions/82.132.238.61|82.132.238.61]], your speculative response here is unhelpful. I asked [[User:DollarStoreBa'al|@DollarStoreBa'al]] why they did what they did, I am not interested in guesses from others about it, which I think also make it harder to get the answer I was seeking (hence the strength of this response now). I was careful not to allege some of the things you are responding to. And as for whether the changes were self-evident, that is not responsive to the issue of summaries — the point of summaries is to make it manageable to review changes by looking at the history or the notification emails without having to individually review each and every change — unless you are going to review the diffs, either en masse or individually, then the self-evidentiary nature of them is irrelevant. Thank you. I apologize that I sound annoyed. [[User:JohnHawkinson|JohnHawkinson]] ([[User talk:JohnHawkinson|talk]]) 14:24, 14 January 2026 (UTC)
:"…it doesn't look quite as good as I had hoped. Perhaps they need to be scaled down" 
:-JohnHawkinson 
:--'''''[[User:DollarStoreBa'al|DollarStoreBa'al]][[User Talk:DollarStoreBa'al|Converse]] 14:28, 14 January 2026 (UTC)
::Also, don't really see the whole point of introducing an entire new system to do something we could already do. --'''''[[User:DollarStoreBa'al|DollarStoreBa'al]][[User Talk:DollarStoreBa'al|Converse]] 14:30, 14 January 2026 (UTC)
::: [[User:DollarStoreBa'al|@DollarStoreBa'al]] I don't know what method you used to guillotine the image, but I found it substantially faster and more efficient to divide up the images by coordinates than to create 18 individual images based on my experience doing that in the past. The individual image choice also results in different scaling factors for different images, which has its pros and cons — I don't think it's great, though. It means, for instance, the Longsail Rig is squeezed down to the same width of other images and no longer appears as "long." I'd encourage you in the future to think carefully about undoing without discussion another person's work to address what you perceive to be that person's perception that it could be improved. That kind of thing has an effect on people's willingness to contribute and participate. Thanks. [[User:JohnHawkinson|JohnHawkinson]] ([[User talk:JohnHawkinson|talk]]) 14:53, 14 January 2026 (UTC)
::::Well, all I did was take screenshots of them and then resize them when I actually implemented them. I don't know why you're peeved by the Longsail not being long enough (it's still a different ratio than the other images, and is very clearly longer than the other ships within it), but I've resized the image to make it longer. --'''''[[User:DollarStoreBa'al|DollarStoreBa'al]][[User Talk:DollarStoreBa'al|Converse]] 15:36, 14 January 2026 (UTC)
:::::Also, I believe this method actually positively affects people's willingness to participate. It makes the way to do this much clearer (and easier) compared to pixel measurements. Plus, how did you measure the pixels? Those were pretty precise measurements you had.--'''''[[User:DollarStoreBaal44|DollarStoreBa'al]][[User Talk:DollarStoreBaal44|Converse]]''''' 15:43, 14 January 2026 (UTC)
{{outdent|5}} [[User:DollarStoreBa'al|@DollarStoreBa'al]]…yikes? Screenshots and resizing? Those are both methods that can lose fidelity…it's not worth agonizing overmuch, but as a general practice anything that degrades the image quality is something to be avoided (given that these are 1bpp b/w images, such concerns are at their nadir)…I had assumed they were native crops. Re longsail, my point is that Randall's artistic intent is in conflict with automatic scaling and I don't think the images should be scaled independently of each other. I'm not sure how you can assess participation, since I don't know why there would be much more attention to the images now that they are "done" (but the burden of uploading additional images with different crops if someone wanted to change one seems to me a lot higher than changing one number in the wikitext of a template). I can't predict the future, but I can definitely say that it had a substantial negative impact on ''me'' (especially to hear it's because of how you interpreted my own comment on the talk page!). I regret that's being expressed here in the text now. To answer your question, I measured the pixels by drawing ruler guides on the master image and reading them off. I don't think the precision speaks to participation in any way (not sure if that's what was meant by "Plus,"). [[User:JohnHawkinson|JohnHawkinson]] ([[User talk:JohnHawkinson|talk]]) 16:13, 14 January 2026 (UTC)
:I really like the table as it is now. I did not see the first version. But the current version looks like what we have done several times before, and that is easy for anyone to understand and edit. I have no idea what the other way is. But I have made tables like this when I was more active. It is not important what the image looks like in the table as you have the full comic above. It is just to make sure you know which boat is being discussed. And people do not read the entire discussion before making changes, I don't. It has become quite long this one. And yes you do not get any notification if someone replies here. If you need to get hold of someone's attention posting on their talk page is the best chance. That is also they way to reach me, the only active admin at the moment. But I'm not very active. But if someone posts om my page I will get an e-mail and then I will read it. I try to make a mention of what I do when I make larger changes, but it can fail. I do hope this doesn't deter you from making contributions another time though! Great you are invested in it. But personally I think this simpler way is the way to go here. --[[User:Kynde|Kynde]] ([[User talk:Kynde|talk]]) 16:35, 14 January 2026 (UTC)

:You know what I'd do, for the individual images? Take the _2x (which is greyscale, BTW, not 1bpp - possibly even full colour with nothing but greyscales, if you look into it). In something like GIMP, select each ship-shape by your favourite magic colour-selection-tool on the black bit that doesn't select ''every'' bit of black (or unselect the stray bits that the default threshold included), then expand the selection by a given small number of pixels, whatever number looks good to give it an aesthetic boundary. Copy and paste to new layer, that layer being cropped to the selection, then floodfill white around the edge transparent edging. Rinse, repeat, takes just a few clicks (or keyboard combos) per item, slightly more complicated if there weren't such a clear containing rectangle - so not quite so easy for Circuit Diagram, but increases the effort from maybe 10 seconds per 'extract' to maybe 15-20 seconds. It'd take longer to start GIMP up in the first place, waiting for the splash-logo to go away and then for it to briefly fish around for any add-ons that need loading.
:If you feel like creating your own scripted tool for this, even less time per instance, but see [[1205: Is It Worth the Time?]]... ;)
:For each layer-separated item, export as an image in their own right. Though I'd personally also at this point (after all possible messing with the original antialiased 'fuzziness') descale the _2x-scaled subimages (consistently) to be smaller. Perhaps to be like the non-_2x one. Right now, my view of the illustrated table in the Explanation has ''far'' larger images of each ship than they are in the comic image, though that might just be peculiar to this browser on this device. But you don't need more than the basic likeness of each subimage. It could stand to be half the size of the comic's appearence, whether by dynamic scaling or the base image being rescaled.
:But as I'm not an authorised uploader, here, I've spent about the same time explaining what I'd do as I'd probably need to do this whole thing. And it doesn't matter as it's been done, and well enough (overscaling issues aside) for all practical purposes. Spending time with screenshotting (which is so much more complicated these days than it used to be) or hovering a image-editor over pixels to record their relevent coordinates (I did a lot of that for [[3186: Truly Universal Outlet]], for something I did for my own entertainment - and I recon that Randall got the M-type plug wrong ''plus'' ignored the second L-type) is your choice, if you prefer to do it that way. [[Special:Contributions/82.132.238.61|82.132.238.61]] 17:28, 14 January 2026 (UTC)

:Ok, guys and gals. All images are now specified for display by height alone ("x<number>px"), that being the actual image height ''halved'' (rounded down, where that'd be fractional). On the assumption that they weren't rescaled between screenshotting and uploading, but it doesn't look like they are. This way, they aren't larger than they display on the {{template|comic}}-header picture of the whole comic, and the "longtail" image isn't so wide as to dominate the table. We don't need to waste space with 'top-definition' images.
:Tested on both laptop and Android browsers, they're always still large enough to be easily recognisable and representative. Also, I centred the cell contents, for further aesthetic reasons. [[Special:Contributions/92.23.2.208|92.23.2.208]] 20:22, 14 January 2026 (UTC)

Of course I am biased, but one of the things lost in the [[User:DollarStoreBa'al|@DollarStoreBa'al]] [https://www.explainxkcd.com/wiki/index.php?title=3193%3A_Sailing_Rigs&type=revision&diff=403475&oldid=403452 changes], which I had not noticed initially, is the titles of the sub-images in Randall's hand-font. I included those initially for a reason, and I think the chart looks better with them. Others may disagree, of course, but again, seems like the kind of change that would merit discussion before doing, especially when it's done in a way that is hard to change (see my overly-repeated points above). [p.s. I didn't mean the image format was 1bpp, I meant the contents were notionally such; although I suppose they do have some antialiasing. ] [[User:JohnHawkinson|JohnHawkinson]] ([[User talk:JohnHawkinson|talk]]) 20:38, 14 January 2026 (UTC)
:Never saw that version. But that just makes the images taller (for a given degree of scaling) and adds nothing to the column that has that same text as non-image data. Unless there's some subtle joke in the actual style of writing that I'm missing (like deliberately bad-kerning, that might not have been replicated in the pure text).
:But that's just my opinion. Maybe someone else thinks its more necessaary.
:Also, using the {{template|diff}}-template might be something that you'd want to use. i.e. "one of the things lost in the {{diff|403475|changes}}, which I had not noticed initially"... Just in case you weren't aware of it. [[Special:Contributions/92.23.2.208|92.23.2.208]] 21:43, 14 January 2026 (UTC)

1655: Doomsday Clock

2026-01-29T15:29:34Z

Whoop whoop pull up: /* Explanation */ The Doomsday Clock's been cranked forward four seconds for 2026.

{{comic
| number = 1655
| date = March 14, 2016
| title = Doomsday Clock
| image = doomsday_clock.png
| titletext = After a power outage at the Bulletin of the Atomic Scientists, the new Digital Doomsday Clock is flashing 00:00 and mushroom clouds keep appearing and then retracting once a second.
}}

==Explanation==
The {{w|Bulletin of the Atomic Scientists}} is an academic journal which has a recurring feature known as the {{w|Doomsday Clock}}, which shows the Bulletin's judgment on the current state of the world. The idea is that when the clock hits midnight, the world ends (originally conceived as in a {{w|nuclear war}}), so how close the clock is to midnight is a scale of the world's current state of risk. Its setting as of the publication of this comic was at "three minutes to midnight" (11:57 PM or 23:57). Its current setting is (as of the most recent meeting on 27 January 2026) at "85 seconds to midnight" (11:58:35 PM or 23:58:35), the closest it has ever come to hitting midnight.

{{w|Daylight saving time}} (DST) is a feature in many countries where in the summer months, everyone moves their clock forward an hour to artificially postpone sunset and thereby have a longer time of sunlight in the afternoon. The {{w|History_of_time_in_the_United_States#Start_and_end_dates_of_United_States_Daylight_Time|day before this comic came out}} (Sunday), most of the United States switched from standard time to DST. This makes it the first of [[:Category:Daylight saving time|several comics about DST]] that has been released in conjunction with the beginning of DST.

[[Cueball]] is inside the office of the Bulletin of the Atomic Scientists and comes across the Doomsday Clock, which is apparently an actual clock. Citing a {{w|mnemonic}}, "Spring forward, fall back", referring to which direction to move the hour hand in the season when DST begins or ends, he pushes the hour hand forward one hour, so instead of the world being three minutes ''from'' the end of the world, it is now 57 minutes ''into'' it, so the final panel simply shows the world erupting in a {{w|Dr. Strangelove|''Dr. Strangelove''}}-esque nuclear apocalypse, with the typical mushroom cloud shape, with a ring around the stem, which is also displayed in the Wikipedia page on {{w|nuclear weapons}}.

This is an absurdist joke confusing the Doomsday Clock with an actual clock; the Doomsday Clock is a subjective measurement of risk, not of time, and as such is not subject to Daylight Saving Time. Furthermore, in the comic the Doomsday Clock does not just measure the world's risk but actively controls it; even if the Doomsday Clock were affected by DST, the doomsday scenario notably does not occur until Cueball adjusts the clock. Also Cueball would only ever adjust the clock like this, if he happened to come by just when the real time was 12:57 the day after DST (as it is not clear from an analog clock if it is AM or PM). When he spots the clock showing 11:57 at 12:57 he just thinks someone has forgotten this particular clock, (which happens a lot the day after DST), and he is thus just helpfully adjusting to the new correct DST time.

The title text continues on this same theme, with the digital doomsday clock (apparently it has now been replaced by a digital one, maybe Cueball broke the old analog one) being reset by a power outage. Many [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_0fdc_D38-c digital clocks blink] 00:00 once per second after a power outage, only stopping when the clock is reset. This is interpreted as the world actually blinking in and out of the Doomsday Clock's midnight, so nuclear explosions thus naturally appear and disappear in sync with the clock.

This once more underlines the entire point of this comic, that it makes no sense to have such a clock. Many people, including [[Randall]], also believe that DST also makes little sense today, so maybe this is why the two are connected in this comic. Randall has [[:Category:Daylight saving time|mocked DST several times]], so this could be yet another attempt to have some fun at its expense.

Another doomsday clock was used in [[1159: Countdown]], although here it was for a {{w|supervolcano}} eruption. A nuclear bomb, not yet exploded but with a short countdown, was the facilitator of the joke in [[1168: tar]].

Within a year before this comics release Randall made several other comics about nuclear weapons, most recently January of 2016 with [[1626: Judgment Day]], and before that these two in 2015, [[1539: Planning]] and [[1520: Degree-Off]]. Nuclear weapons are also mentioned twice in ''[[Thing Explainer]]'', specifically they are explained in the explanation for ''Machine for burning cities'' about {{w|Thermonuclear weapon|thermonuclear bombs}}, but they are also mentioned in ''Boat that goes under the sea'' about a submarine that caries nukes. All three comics and both explanations in the book, like this comic, comment on how crazy it is that we have created enough firepower to obliterate Earth several times (or at least scourge it for any human life). After these there was some time without nuclear bombs, but a new mushroom cloud was displayed in [[1736: Manhattan Project]], the week after such weapons invention was listed at 1950 CE in [[1732: Earth Temperature Timeline]].

Most practical clocks will mechanically tie the movement of the hour hand to the minute hand, to ensure 'half past' minutes have a 'half-between' hour-hand rather than confusingly coincide with the hour-hand sitting over any digit (and then half-way between when the minute is near an "o'clock" time). Even if the hour hand ''is'' easily moved independently from the front, it is generally good practice to wind the minute hand round fully (to add an hour) back to the correct minute, and instead move the hour hand on ''that'' way.

Clocks that can be adjusted by moving the hands (or any other control, such as an adjustment gear n the back of the unit) are also best always adjusted ''forward'' (as it is being, in this case), and are best changed for the "fall back" adjustment by sending the minute hand clockwise eleven (or, if relevant, twenty-three!) times round to get 'back' to the hour before.

==Transcript==
:[Above a clock that shows 3 minutes to 12:]
:Bulletin of the Atomic Scientists
:<big>Doomsday Clock</big>

:[Cueball enters the frame from the left and walks up the clock while looking up at it.]
:Bulletin of the Atomic Scientists
:<big>Doomsday Clock</big>
:Cueball: Oh hey, spring forward.

:[Cueball grabs hold of the hour hand on the clock and adjust it one hour ahead to 3 minutes to 1.]
:Bulletin of the Atomic Scientists
:<big>Doomsday Clock</big>

:[Nuclear apocalypse with one large central mushroom cloud, with a typical ring around the central stem, two other mushroom clouds are behind it left and right as well as three smaller ones near (or even partly under) the horizon. There are also three smaller explosion in the air.]

{{comic discussion}}
[[Category:Comics featuring Cueball]]
[[Category:Daylight saving time]]
[[Category:Time]]
[[Category:Nuclear weapons]]

1555: Exoplanet Names 2

2026-01-27T04:56:10Z

Whoop whoop pull up: /* Table */

{{comic
| number = 1555
| date = July 24, 2015
| title = Exoplanet Names 2
| image = exoplanet_names_2.png
| titletext = I'm going to drive this Netherlands joke so far into the ground they'll have to build levees around it to keep the sea out.
}}

==Explanation==
This comic is a continuation of [[1253: Exoplanet Names]], and was published the day after NASA announced the discovery of a number of planets, including a planet called a cousin to Earth, {{w|Kepler-452b}}. [[Black Hat]] proposes naming it {{w|Pluto}}, both to commemorate the flyby of the {{w|dwarf planet}} of that name by NASA's {{w|New Horizons}} earlier the same month, but also to end the discussion about the status of Pluto, which is subject to debate among both scientists and laypeople over whether-or-not it should be considered a planet. Pluto was considered a planet for a long period of time until, in 2006, the {{w|International Astronomical Union}} (IAU) created a new definition for the word 'planet' designed to exclude Pluto and similar objects, resulting in much debate (The IAU is the organization that takes responsibility for naming celestial bodies like planets, stars, and much more).

It may appear that, with Black Hat's suggestion, the answer to the question "is Pluto a planet?" will therefore always be "yes", regardless of the status of the Pluto in our Solar System according to the IAU. However the same [https://www.iau.org/news/pressreleases/detail/iau0603/ IAU official definition] that excludes Pluto also states that a 'planet' has to orbit our sun, so according to the IAU, nothing in this comic is a planet (the IAU definition only allows them to be {{w|exoplanets}}, which, like dwarf planets, are not planets). Hence, the debate indeed becomes 'a little more confusing'. This is in line with Black Hat's characterization as a mischief-maker.

The title text is referring to the planet name entry ''Netherlands VI'' for the star ''EPIC 201912552''. Randall continues his references to the Netherlands taking over the Earth, Mars, and Pluto after Earth's oceans have been transferred to Mars. The joke started in two consecutive ''[[what if? (blog)|what if?]]'' articles, {{what if|53|Drain the Oceans}} and {{what if|54|Drain the Oceans: Part II}}, and it was referenced again in {{what if|57|Dropping a Mountain}} and in [[1551: Pluto]] a week before this comic came out. {{w|New Netherland}} was actually a Dutch colony with {{w|New York City}}, formerly known as {{w|New Amsterdam}}, as its capital. In the title text Randall mentions he will continue with this joke driving it so far into the ground (meaning way beyond the point where it stops being funny) that the Dutch will have to build {{w|levee}}s around it to keep the sea out.

===Table===
This table explains each entry in the comic table. The "Status" column refers to the comic [[1253: Exoplanet Names]] and indicates if the entry was already in the older comic (Old), if it has been updated (Update), or if it's a new addition (New).

{| class="wikitable sortable"
! scope="col" | Star
! scope="col" | Planet
! scope="col" | Status
! scope="col" | Suggested Name
! scope="col" | Explanation
|-
| rowspan=7 | {{w|Gliese 667}} C
| {{w|Gliese 667 Cb|b}}
| {{No|Old}}
| {{w|Space Planet}}
| A very unimaginative name, since every planet is in space.{{Citation needed}}
|-
|{{w|Gliese 667 Cc|c}}
| {{No|Old}}
| PILF
| Pun of {{w|MILF pornography|MILF}}, i.e. ''Planet I'd Like to Fuck''. Planet c is a relatively hot planet, within the habitable zone.
|-
|{{w|Gliese 667 Cd|d}}
| {{No|Old}}
| A Star
| "A {{w|Star}}" is obviously a bad name for a planet. A* (pronounced "A star") is already used in astronomy, for example the Milky Way's black hole core is {{w|Sagittarius A*}}. "A star" is also the name for the character {{w|asterisk}} and the name of the popular {{w|A* search algorithm}} in computer science.
|-
|{{w|Gliese 667 Ce|e}}
| {{No|Old}}
| e'); DROP TABLE PLANETS;--
| [[Mrs. Roberts]] is probably trying to use {{w|SQL injection}} like in [[327: Exploits of a Mom]], in which her son [[Little Bobby Tables|Robert'); DROP TABLE Students;--]] caused the school a lot of trouble when his name was put in. The idea here is that the {{w|IAU}} would enter the name into their system and promptly lose all of their data pertaining to planets. Note that Planet e is located in the habitable zone of the star system.
|-
|{{w|Gliese 667 Cf|f}}
| {{No|Old}}
| Blogosphere
| rowspan = 2 | Weird ''{{w|blog}}''-related terms are a recurring theme in xkcd. See, for instance, [[181|comic 181]].
|-
|{{w|Gliese 667 Cg|g}}
| {{No|Old}}
| Blogodrome
|-
|[http://exoplanet.eu/catalog/gj_667c_h/ h]
| {{No|Old}}
| {{w|Earth}}
| Planet candidate h is about the mass of the Earth, and described as "tantalizing": [https://www.aanda.org/articles/aa/abs/2013/08/aa21331-13/aa21331-13.html A dynamically-packed planetary system around GJ with three super-Earths in its habitable zone]. See also ([[1231: Habitable Zone]]). Like several other names below, naming a second planet Earth would be highly confusing.
|-
| rowspan=5 | {{w|Tau Ceti}}
| [http://exoplanet.eu/catalog/tau_cet_b/ b]
| {{No|Old}}
| Sid Meier's Tau Ceti B
| This refers to the game {{w|Sid Meier's Alpha Centauri}}.
|-
| [http://exoplanet.eu/catalog/tau_cet_c/ c]
| {{No|Old}}
| Giant Dog Planet
| {{w|VY Canis Majoris}} is one of the largest known stars at our galaxy and belongs to the constellation {{w|Canis Major}}, Latin for "greater dog". The constellation further contains {{w|Sirius}}, the brightest star in the night sky, also called "Dog Star".
|-
|[http://exoplanet.eu/catalog/tau_cet_d/ d]
| {{No|Old}}
| Tiny Dog Planet
| cf. {{w|Canis Minor}}, Latin for "lesser dog", another constellation.
|-
|{{w|Tau Ceti e|e}}
| {{No|Old}}
| Phil Plainet
| A reference to {{w|Phil Plait}}, a.k.a. The Bad Astronomer.
|-
|{{w|Tau Ceti f|f}}
| {{No|Old}}
| Unicode Snowman
| The Unicode character ☃ may be a reference to the planet's estimated surface temperature of -40 °C (-40 °F). However, this name would be pronounced differently (being a symbol, not a word or name) in different languages. Planets in our solar system are assigned to {{w|Astronomical symbols|astronomical symbols}} like ♁ for Venus or ♂ for Mars.
|-
| rowspan=2 | {{w|Gliese 832}}
| {{w|Gliese 832 b|b}}
| {{No|Old}}
| Asshole Jupiter
| This massive planet orbits a {{w|red dwarf}} star at the longest known period of 3416 days at this category. Many exoplanets are described as "Hot Jupiters" because they are high-temperature gas giants; if one were to read "hot" as a description of attractiveness rather than temperature, one might generate names like this one.
|-
| {{w|Gliese 832 c|c}}
| {{Yes|New}}
| {{w|Waterworld}} starring Kevin Costner
| [https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0114898/ Waterworld] is a 1995 film starring Kevin Costner about Earth almost completely covered in water. The surname was previously spelled incorrectly with a 'K'.
|-
| rowspan=6 | {{w|Gliese 581}}
| {{w|Gliese 581 b|b}}
| {{No|Old}}
| Waist-deep {{w|Cats}}
| {{w|Waist Deep}} is an action film from 2006, and the {{w|Lolcat}} meme does not need explaining. The name may also simply be a reference to being "waist-deep" in (i.e. surrounded by many) cats.
|-
| {{w|Gliese|c}}
| {{No|Old}}
| Planet #14
| About 200th discovered exoplanet (in 2007); reported to be the first potentially Earth-like planet in the habitable zone of its star, though that is in doubt now. The joke might be that like "Space Planet", "Planet #14" is a generic and unoriginal name, although it could plausibly be a reference to [https://tardis.fandom.com/wiki/Planet_14 Planet 14], a potential homeworld of the Cybermen in the long-running science-fiction series ''Doctor Who''. Also of note is that this is the 15th entry in the original table so the numbering is {{w|Zero-based numbering|zero-based}}.
An interesting (?) coincidence is that the 14th and 15th {{w|Definition of planet#Minor planets|Minor planets}} (then called asteroids) were discovered in 1851; see see {{w|List of minor planets: 1–1000}}. If they were to be counted among the planets of the {{w|Solar System}}, as was sometimes done then, the 14th known planetary body would be {{w| 7 Iris|Iris}} (discovered in 1847, a year before {{w|Neptune}}).
|-
|{{w|Gliese 581 d|d}}
| {{No|Old}}
| Ballderaan
| A {{w|wikt:balls|crude pun}} on the planet {{w|Alderaan}} from the ''{{w|Star Wars}}'' universe.
|-
|{{w|Gliese 581 e|e}}
| {{No|Old}}
| Eternia Prime
| {{w|Eternia}} is a fictional planet, venue of the ''{{w|Masters of the Universe}}'' animated series and toy collection.
|-
| {{w|Gliese 581 f|f}}
| {{No|Old}}
| Taupe Mars
| {{w|Kim Stanley Robinson}}'s award-winning {{w|Mars trilogy}} (''Red Mars, Green Mars, Blue Mars'' after various stages of {{w|terraformation}}). {{w|Taupe}} is a brownish-grey color.
|-
|{{w|Gliese|g}}
| {{No|Old}}
| Jelly-Filled Planet
| Possibly a reference to the conjecture that this tidally locked planet has an isolated habitable zone under the substellar point, akin to the pocket of jelly in a jelly doughnut.
|-
| rowspan=2 | {{w|Epsilon Eridani}}
| {{w|Epsilon Eridani b|b}}
| {{No|Old}}
| Skydot
| [https://skydot.lanl.gov SkyDOT] is the Sky Database for Objects in Time-Domain run by {{w|LANL}} for the {{w|U.S. Dept. of Energy}} and includes data for [https://skydot.lanl.gov/nsvs/star.php?num=14831575&mask=32004 Epsilon Eridani] that can be used to constrain the orbital parameters of ε Eri b. It may also refer to how objects in space may appear as bland, bright dots in the night sky.
|-
| {{w|Epsilon Eridani c#Planet c|c}}
| {{No|Old}}
| Laser Noises
| A {{w|Laser}} does not produce {{w|Noise (electronics)|noise}} in the signal sense; it only works at a well-defined frequency. In science fiction films, however, laser weapon discharges are usually accompanied by sound. Sun-like Epsilon Eridani became a popular setting for science fiction after its publicity as a target of the {{w|Project Ozma}} experiment.
|-
| rowspan=2 | {{w|Gliese 176}}
| {{w|Gliese 176 b|b}}
| {{No|Old}}
| {{w|Pandora}}
| The mythological name {{w|Pandora}} fulfills most of IAU's guidelines and has been popular for planets in science fiction; most recently and famously is {{w|Pandora (Avatar)|the venue}} of James Cameron's ''{{w|Avatar (film)|Avatar}}'' (although actually it is not a planet but just a moon of a gas giant in Alpha Centauri A). It is also a hellish planet from {{w|Frank Herbert}}'s {{w|Frank Herbert bibliography#WorShip novels|WorShip}} series of novels, a jungle planet in Brothers Strugatsky's {{w|Noon Universe}} and the planet used in {{w|Borderlands (video game)|Borderlands Games}}.
|-
| [http://exoplanet.eu/catalog/gj_176_c/ c]
| {{No|Old}}
| Pantera
| A near homophone of Pandora, possibly named for the {{w|Pantera|heavy metal band}}, which was named for the {{w|De Tomaso Pantera|Italian sports car}}, which was named for the panther. Could be a reference to the Avatar movie by James Cameron. The band was ALSO referenced in Terraria, due to the Plantera boss.
|-
| {{w|Kepler-61}}
| {{w|Kepler-61b|b}}
| {{No|Old}}
| GoldenPalace.com
| A gambling website, known for {{w|GoldenPalace.com|paying to have their name in unusual places}} (like forehead tattoos, species names...).
|-
| {{w|Groombridge 34|Groombridge 34A}}
| b
| {{Yes|New}}
| Hot Mess
| This is a reference to the phrase {{w|wikt:hot mess|hot mess}}, meaning a person who is dishevelled but nevertheless attractive.
|-
| Kepler-442
| {{w|Kepler-442b|b}}
| {{Yes|New}}
| Seas of {{w|Toothpaste}}
|
|-
| Gliese-422
| b
| {{Yes|New}}
| This one weird planet
| Most likely a reference to {{w|clickbait}} articles found on the internet.
|-
| rowspan=3 | {{w|EPIC 201367065|EPIC-201367065}}
| b
| {{Yes|New}}
| {{w|Sulawesi}}
| {{w|Sulawesi|An island }} in the Indonesian archipelago. Including it in non-Earth maps is an xkcd running gag.
|-
| c
| {{Yes|New}}
| Huge {{w|Soccer}} Ball
|
|-
| d
| {{Yes|New}}
| Geodude
| [https://bulbapedia.bulbagarden.net/wiki/Geodude_%28Pok%C3%A9mon%29 Geodude] is a Pokémon characterised by its ball-like shape. It resembles a clump of rocks.
|-
| rowspan=5 | {{w|Kepler-296}}
| b
| {{Yes|New}}
| Kerbal Space Planet
| {{w|Kerbal Space Program}} is a game where model rockets are launched on a scale version of the Earth. It has been referenced in xkcd a number of times (in the title text of [[1106: ADD]], in [[1244: Six Words]], as a part of [[1350: Lorenz]] and in [[1356: Orbital Mechanics]]). Note, though, that the actual planet corresponding to the Earth in the game is called [https://wiki.kerbalspaceprogram.com/wiki/Kerbin "Kerbin"].
|-
| c
| {{Yes|New}}
| A$aplanet
| Most probably a pun on the rap group {{w|A$AP Mob}} and their most prominent member {{w|A$AP Rocky}}. May also be a pun on {{w|Kesha}}, also written as Ke$ha. In that case the c of the planet's designation would belong to the name.
|-
| d
| {{Yes|New}}
| {{w|Jurassic World}}
| ''{{w|Jurassic World}}'' was the most recent movie in the ''{{w|Jurassic Park}}'' series.
|-
| {{w|Kepler-296e|e}}
| {{Yes|New}}
| This Land
| Reference to Wash's dialogue in the pilot episode of {{w|Firefly (TV Series)|Firefly}}. Or perhaps the folk song "This Land is Your Land", written and made famous by Woody Guthrie.
|-
| {{w|Kepler-296f|f}}
| {{Yes|New}}
| Springfield
| The name of {{w|Springfield (The Simpsons)|the town}} in which animated sitcom {{w|The Simpsons}} is set; possibly a reference to the running joke that the state in which Springfield is located has never been named.
|-
| rowspan=2 | {{w|HR 7722}}
| {{w|HR 7722 b|b}}
| {{Yes|New}}
| {{w|Betelgeuse}}
| rowspan=2 | {{w|Betelgeuse}} is a star in the constellation Orion. It is commonly (at least by speakers of English) pronounced as "beetlejuice". {{w|Beetlejuice}}, however is a film directed by {{w|Tim Burton}} from 1988. Similarly to Dune/Arrakis (see Gliese 180) and the two Uranuses (see Kepler-283), naming two planets with names that are generally regarded to be identical would cause severe confusion in astronomical discussions.
|-
| {{w|HR 7722 c|c}}
| {{Yes|New}}
| Beetlejuice
|-
| EPIC 201912552
| b
| {{Yes|New}}
| {{w|Netherlands}} VI
| The title text references this entry. See the explanation of the title text above the table entry.
|-
| rowspan=3 | Gliese 3293
| b
| {{Yes|New}}
| Antispit
| In the comic [https://www.homestuck.com/ Homestuck] there is a luminous moon named [[wikia:w:c:mspa:Prospit|Prospit]].
|-
| c
| {{Yes|New}}
| {{w|Google Earth}}
| {{w|Google Earth}} is a service, similar to Google Maps, which projects satellite data on a 3D globe that can be zoomed in on. Other features, such as models of buildings, can also appear.
|-
| d
| {{Yes|New}}
| {{w|Planet of the Apes (disambiguation)}}
| The way a Wikipedia article would be titled, for example, to distinguish from the {{w|Planet of the Apes (novel)|the original novel}}, {{w|Planet of the Apes (1968 film)|the first film}}, {{w|Planet of the Apes (2001 film)|the Tim Burton remake}} and {{w|Rise of the Planet of the Apes|the reboot series}}. In each adaptation, a group of astronauts lands on what is believed to be a "Planet of the Apes", which turns out to be a post-apocalyptic Earth. A Wikipedia page for this planet would itself conflict with an existing disambiguation page, possibly requiring a second-level disambiguation page to be created.
|-
| rowspan=2 | Kepler-283
| b
| {{Yes|New}}
| ˈjʊərənəs
| rowspan = 2 | Two alternative pronunciations (written in {{w|International Phonetic Alphabet}}) for the planet name Uranus; the first one translates as "YU-ri-nus" ("urine-us"), while the second translates as "yu-RAIN-us" ("your anus"). The first pronunciation (being the same as how the {{w|Uranus (mythology)|Greek god}} is pronounced in English) is preferred by astronomers, but both are commonly heard. Similarly to Dune/Arrakis (see Gliese 180) and Betelgeuse/Beetlejuice (see HR 7722), naming two planets with names that are generally regarded to be identical would cause severe confusion in astronomical discussions.
|-
| c
| {{Yes|New}}
| jʊˈreɪnəs
|-
| rowspan=4 | {{w|Upsilon Andromedae}}
| b
| {{Yes|New}}
| Fourthmeal
| {{w|Taco Bell}} has an ad campaign adding a meal after dinner. Possibly also a reference to {{w|Hobbit}}s and [https://askmiddlearth.tumblr.com/post/41765286488/the-seven-daily-hobbit-meals seven daily meals]. This entry was misspelled Andromidae in the first comic (and also in the first released version of this one, see [[#Trivia|trivia]].) Although the star was mentioned in the previous chart, this entry "b" was not. In that comic the chart was shown as a part of a list. And the b entry was above the cut-off line. So the next object was also called "c" in the previous chart.
|-
|{{w|Upsilon Andromedae c|c}}
| {{No|Old}}
| Stampy
| The name of the elephant from the {{w|Simpsons}} episode {{w|Bart Gets an Elephant}}.
|-
|{{w|Upsilon Andromedae d|d}}
| {{No|Old}}
| Moonchild
| The name Bastian gives the Childlike Empress in {{w|The Neverending Story}}.
|-
|{{w|Upsilon Andromedae e|e}}
| {{No|Old}}
| Ham Sphere
| [https://www.hamsphere.com HamSphere] is a {{w|Amateur radio|Ham Radio}} simulator program. Ham radio uses designated radio frequencies for non-commercial exchange of messages and more. A pun of Hemisphere.
|-
| rowspan=3 | {{w|82 G. Eridani|HD 20794}}
| [http://exoplanet.eu/catalog/hd_20794_b/ b]
| {{No|Old}}
| Cosmic Sands
| style="font-family:'Comic Sans MS', 'Comic Sans'" | A {{w|pun}} on the name of the font {{w|Comic Sans}}. (See also: [[590|590: Papyrus]].)
|-
| [http://exoplanet.eu/catalog/hd_20794_c/ c]
| {{No|Old}}
| {{w|Legoland}}
| {{w|Legoland}} is a chain of {{w|theme park}}s owned by the {{w|Lego Group}}. Potentially a reference to the movie {{w|The World's End (film)|The World's End}}, in which the protagonist Gary King tells the alien invaders to "get in your rocket and fuck off back to Legoland".
|-
|[http://exoplanet.eu/catalog/hd_20794_d/ d]
| {{No|Old}}
| Planet with Arms
| A reference to the [https://www.thecolorsofmysoul.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/12/The-Hitchhikers-Guide-to-the-Galaxy.jpg early covers] of {{w|Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy}}? Could also be a reference to [https://knowyourmeme.com/memes/birds-with-arms "Birds with Arms" meme].
|-
| {{w|HD 85512}}
| {{w|HD 85512 b|b}}
| {{No|Old}}
| Lax Morality
| Possibly a parody of science fiction in which certain planets are suggested to be uniformly lax in morals (i.e. full of sex, drugs, etc.). See {{tvtropes|Planetville|the TVTropes listing}}, and related. Or, possibly a reference to {{w|GCU Grey Area}}.
|-
| rowspan=6 | {{w|HD 40307}}
| {{w|HD 40307 b|b}}
| {{No|Old}}
| Good Planet
| Similar to the above, except with good planets. May also be yet another non-descriptive name, like "Space Planet" and "Planet #14".
|-
|{{w|HD|c}}
| {{No|Old}}
| Problemland
| See above. Also may be a reference to Iceland/Greenland naming scheme[https://anitasnotebook.com/travelstories/how-iceland-and-greenland-ended-up-with-such-messed-up-names/], where Problemland may actually be a better place to visit than "Good Planet."
|-
|{{w|HD 40307 d|d}}
| {{No|Old}}
| Slickle
| This is a reference to "[https://zdarsky.tumblr.com/post/2837139960 The Petals Fall Twice]" (possibly NSFW), which was made as a humorous example of bad fan-fiction. The word itself is a portmanteau of "slowly", "licked", and "tickled".
|-
|{{w|HD 40307 e|e}}
| {{No|Old}}
| Spare Parts
| This suggests that the planet is "worthless" or "junk". This is false, of course. May be a reference to the fact it is a planet with nothing much different from the other planets.
|-
|{{w|HD 40307 f|f}}
| {{No|Old}}
| {{w|New Jersey}} VI
| Refers to the state of {{w|New Jersey}}; may be an insult to either.
|-
|{{w|HD|g}}
| {{No|Old}}
| How Do I Join the {{w|IAU}}
| This implies that the user "got lost" on the IAU website and thought that the "planet name suggestion" input was for general queries.
|-
| rowspan=3 | {{w|Gliese 163}}
| [http://exoplanet.eu/catalog/gj_163_b/ b]
| {{No|Old}}
| Neil Tyson's Mustache
| {{w|Neil deGrasse Tyson}} is a famous American astrophysicist and science communicator who does maintain a distinguished mustache.
|-
|{{w|Gliese|c}}
| {{No|Old}}
| help@gmail.com
| Similar to "How Do I Join the IAU", this implies that the user confused the "planet suggestion" text box for a new email they are trying to send.
|-
|[http://exoplanet.eu/catalog/gj_163_d/ d]
| {{No|Old}}
| Hair-Covered Planet
| Refers to the well-known {{w|Hairy ball theorem}} of topology.
|-
| {{w|Pi Mensae}}
| {{w|Pi Mensae b|b}}
| {{No|Old}}
| {{w|Natural satellite|Moon Holder}}
| {{w|Jupiter}} has more than 60 discovered moons, and still counting... A planet ten times more massive ''must'' also be a Moon Holder.
|-
| {{w|HD 189733}}
| {{w|HD 189733 b|b}}
| {{No|Old}}
| Permadeath
| A well-characterized "{{w|Hot Jupiter}}" at a temperature range of 973 ± 33 K to 1,212 ± 11 K. The name refers to the feature of {{w|Permanent death}} common in many RPGs and roguelikes. Or may reference permafrost, which has also been discussed in the comic.
|-
| {{w|Kepler-22}}
| {{w|Kepler-22 b|b}}
| {{No|Old}}
| Blue Ivy
| Blue Ivy Carter is the daughter of musicians {{w|Beyoncé}} and {{w|Jay-Z}}.
|-
| KOI-2474
| b
| {{Yes|New}}
| Store-Brand {{w|Earth}}
| A {{w|Store brand}} is a line of products branded by a retailer. They have a reputation for being lower quality than other brands, and are often marketed similarly to other brands. This is implying that this is a cheaper version of Earth. (This entry replaced the completely different entry Kepler-3284b Blainsley from the previous chart).
|-
| Kepler-437
| b
| {{YesNo|updated}}
| {{w|Unicorn}} Thresher
| As far as we can tell, Kepler-437b is in the vicinity of the constellation Monoceros, aka the Unicorn. (This was labeled Kepler-3255b in the previous chart)
|-
| KOI-2418
| b
| {{No|Old}}
| Spherical Discworld
| {{w|The Discworld}} is the fictional setting for British author {{w|Terry Pratchett}}'s {{w|Discworld}} series of humorous fantasy novels; it consists of a large disc supported by four elephants themselves standing on top of a turtle flying through space. The joke being that the planet could not be spherical and disc-shaped at the same time. (Was listed as Kepler-2418 in the previous chart).
|-
| {{w|Kepler-438}}
| {{w|Kepler-438b|b}}
| {{YesNo|updated}}
| Emergency Backup Earth
| This candidate planet has an {{w|Earth Similarity Index}} of 0.89, making it one of the most habitable {{w|Kepler object of interest}}. The name suggests that it could be used as a backup in case something happened to our current planet. (Was listed as Kepler-1686 in the previous chart; Kepler-1686 b was proven to be a false positive by NASA in 2015).
|-
| KOI-3010
| {{w|KOI-3010.01|b}}
| {{No|Old}}
| Feeeoooooooop
| Possibly the onomatopoeia for something getting sucked into a black hole.
|-
| Kepler-442
| {{w|Keppler-442b|b}}
| {{No|Old}}
| Liz
| Just a regular name (for a person, not a planet). Maybe a reference to the Magic School Bus.
|-
| rowspan=3 | {{w|82 Eridani}}
| b
| {{Yes|New}}
| Horsemeat Surface
| A reference to the {{w|2013 meat adulteration scandal}}, where horsemeat was found in burgers alleging to contain beef. This planet's name suggests that the surface of the entire planet would also contain improperly declared horsemeat.
|-
| c
| {{Yes|New}}
| The {{w|Moon}}
| This name would cause confusion with the Earth's moon, which in English is called The Moon. It is also a poor name choice as 82 Eridani c is not a moon, but a planet. This may also be a reference to the name{{Actual citation needed|Which name? Which exoplanet? Would help to at least state these here, if not actually link to them both, not assume that we all know this (like I definitely don't, and didn't quicky discover it for myself, to add in), especially when it might be not even be commonly known outside China itself}} that the Chinese astronomers gave to an exoplanet — the name was previously the nickname of the Moon.
|-
| d
| {{Yes|New}}
| Constant Saxophones
| May refer to the fact that there are lots of different kinds of {{w|Saxophone#The_saxophone_family|saxophones}}. A Constant Saxophone may only be able to play one note, while several Constant Saxophones tuned to different notes could assemble the tone range of either normal saxophone. Constant Saxophones could also imply that Saxophone music is played constantly, everywhere on the planet. This could get tiresome for the residents of the planet.
|-
| {{w|HD 102365}}
| b
| {{Yes|New}}
| Little Big Planet
| This refers to the videogame {{w|LittleBigPlanet}}. Little Big Planet was also mentioned implicitly in [[Size Venn Diagram]].
|-
| rowspan=2 | {{w|Gliese 180}}
| b
| {{Yes|New}}
| Dune
| rowspan=2 | Both references to Frank Herbert's {{w|Dune (novel)|Dune}} book series. The planet Arrakis (informally referred to as 'Dune') is the central planet in the mythology, where the mind-enhancing substance 'spice' comes from. Use of spice enables, among others, supercomputing-like mental computation as well as hyperspace navigation. Having two neighbouring planets with names that are historically used to refer to a single planet would sow further confusion in the already extensive catalog of planet names. This is similarly to Betelgeuse/Beetlejuice (see HR 7722) and the two Uranuses (see Kepler-283).
|-
| c
| {{Yes|New}}
| Arrakis
|-
| {{w|Fomalhaut}}
| b
| {{Yes|New}}
| Swarm of {{w|Bees}}
| From Wikipedia: Fomalhaut b could be a conglomeration of rubble from a recent collision between comet-to-asteroid-sized bodies and not actually identify a planet.
|-
| rowspan=5 | {{w|Kepler-62}}
| {{w|Kepler-62b|b}}
| {{Yes|New}}
| Sporty
| rowspan=5 | A reference to the {{w|Spice Girls}}. See also the previous comic, [[1554: Spice Girls]], where [[Megan]] was unable to list the members of this pop group. In this case the names are correct, and would give Megan a new and interesting reason to remember them. {{w|Kepler-62f}} is a [https://www.nasa.gov/mission_pages/kepler/multimedia/images/kepler-62e.html super-Earth-size planet], that may be potentially habitable. {{w|Kepler-62e}} is a possible [https://www.nasa.gov/mission_pages/kepler/multimedia/images/kepler-62e.html water world].
|-
| {{w|Kepler-62c|c}}
| {{Yes|New}}
| Baby
|-
| {{w|Kepler-62d|d}}
| {{Yes|New}}
| Scary
|-
| {{w|Kepler-62e|e}}
| {{Yes|New}}
| Ginger
|-
| {{w|Kepler-62f|f}}
| {{Yes|New}}
| Posh
|-
| rowspan=3 | {{w|HD 69830}}
| {{w|HD 69830 b|b}}
| {{Yes|New}}
| Planet.xxx
| {{w|.xxx}} is a controversial top level domain (like to .com and .net) that is intended to distinguish porn sites from other types of website. Planet X is the name for a still undiscovered planet in our solar system, a common theme both in real science and fiction. The search for "Planet X" lead, by chance, to the discovery of Pluto.
|-
| {{w|HD 69830 c|c}}
| {{Yes|New}}
| Novella
| A {{w|novella}} is a form of prose with length between a {{w|short story}} and a {{w|novel}}. Common examples of novellas are romance literature centering around intense lustful encounters in cheap paperback books, though also 'serious' literature may be in novella form.
|-
| {{w|HD 69830 d|d}}
| {{Yes|New}}
| Sexoplanet
| Like the other two planets orbiting this star, the "69" in the stars designation has lead to a sex joke: All planets in this comic are "exo-planets", planets not orbiting our sun. Adding a single "s" in front results in immature humor.
|-
| rowspan=2 | {{w|Gliese 682}}
| {{w|Gliese 682 b|b}}
| {{Yes|New}}
| Verdant Hellscape
| A contradictory name. "[[wikt:verdant|Verdant]]" usually signifies to be lush with green plant life, while "[[wikt:hellscape|hellscape]]" describes a desolate landscape destroyed by heat and cataclysm.
|-
| {{w|Gliese 682 c|c}}
| {{Yes|New}}
| Unsubscribe
| On YouTube, "subscribers" (people who get updates on a person's channel) are highly valued, and to "unsubscribe" from anyone is deemed to be offensive. "Unsubscribe" is also the command one sends to {{w|Electronic mailing list}}s to stop receiving said mailing list. In this sense it may imply a desire to no longer be bothered with these silly discussions around planet-names. Like "help@gmail.com" and "How do I join the IAU", "unsubscribe" is a frequently seen accidental message on the Internet in contexts where it is not going to work as a command.
|-
| {{w|Kepler-452}}
| {{w|Kepler-452b|b}}
| {{Yes|New}}
| {{w|Pluto}}
| This is the planet Black Hat is referring to at the top of the table.
|}

==Transcript==

:[Black Hat points with a stick at a slide showing an image of a planet with unknown features marked by questions marks.]
:Kepler-452b

:Black Hat: NASA has announced the discovery of a (super-)Earth-sized planet in the habitable zone of a sun-like star.
:Black Hat: I suggest we name this planet "Pluto", both to celebrate the great work by the ''New Horizons'' team, and to make the stupid "Is Pluto a planet" debate a little more confusing

:While we wait to hear from the IAU,
:here's a revised and updated list of
:planet name suggestions (see xkcd.com/1253)
:[Red text:] New or updated entries in red

:[The table is in three separate columns. There is a small arrow pointing at the second column, named "Planet", indicating the planet's name corresponding to the star at the first row. The third column shows the planet name suggestions.]

:[Left Columns]

:[Star] Gliese 667c
::[Planet] b [Suggested Name] Space Planet
::[Planet] c [Suggested Name] Pilf
::[Planet] d [Suggested Name] A Star
::[Planet] e [Suggested Name] e'); DROP TABLE PLANETS;--
::[Planet] f [Suggested Name] Blogosphere
::[Planet] g [Suggested Name] Blogodrome
::[Planet] h [Suggested Name] Earth
:[Star] Tau Ceti
::[Planet] b [Suggested Name] Sid Meier's Tau Ceti B
::[Planet] c [Suggested Name] Giant Dog PLanet
::[Planet] d [Suggested Name] Tiny Dog Planet
::[Planet] e [Suggested Name] Phil Plainet
::[Planet] f [Suggested Name] Unicode Snowman
:[Star] Gliese 832
::[Planet] b [Suggested Name] Asshole Jupiter
::[Red text for this line:] [Planet] c [Suggested Name] WaterWorld Starring Kevin Costner 
:[Star] Gliese 581
::[Planet] b [Suggested Name] Waist-Deep Cats
::[Planet] c [Suggested Name] Planet #14
::[Planet] d [Suggested Name] Ballderaan
::[Planet] e [Suggested Name] Eternia Prime
::[Planet] f [Suggested Name] Taupe Mars
::[Planet] g [Suggested Name]Jelly-Filled Planet
:[Star] Epsilon Eridani
::[Planet] b [Suggested Name] Skydot
::[Planet] c [Suggested Name] Laser Noises
:[Star] Gliese 176
::[Planet] b [Suggested Name] Pandora
::[Planet] c [Suggested Name] Pantera
:[Star] Kepler-61
::[Planet] b [Suggested Name] Goldenpalace.com
:[Red text for the rest of the rows in this column:] :[Star] Groombridge 34A
::[Planet] b [Suggested Name] Hot Mess
:[Star] Kepler-442
::[Planet] b [Suggested Name] Seas of Toothpaste
:[Star] Gliese-422
::[Planet] b [Suggested Name] This One Weird Planet
:[Star] Epic-201367065
::[Planet] b [Suggested Name] Sulawesi
::[Planet] c [Suggested Name] Huge Soccer Ball
::[Planet] d [Suggested Name] Geodude
:[Star] Kepler-296
::[Planet] b [Suggested Name] Kerbal Space Planet
::[Planet] c [Suggested Name] A$APlanet
::[Planet] d [Suggested Name] Jurassic World
::[Planet] e [Suggested Name] This Land
::[Planet] f [Suggested Name] Springfield
:[Star] HR 7722
::[Planet] b [Suggested Name] Betelgeuse
::[Planet] c [Suggested Name] Beetlejuice
:[Star] Epic 201912252
::[Planet] b [Suggested Name] Netherlands VI
:[Star] Gliese 3293
::[Planet] b [Suggested Name] Antispit
::[Planet] c [Suggested Name] Google Earth
::[Planet] d [Suggested Name] Planet of the Apes (Disambiguation)
:[Star] Kepler-283
::[Planet] b [Suggested Name] jʊərənəs
::[Planet] c [Suggested Name] jʊˈreɪnəs

:[End Left Columns]

:[Start Right Columns]

:[Star] Upsilon Andromidae
::[Red text for this line:] [Planet] b [Suggested Name] Fourth meal 
::[Planet] c [Suggested Name] Stampy
::[Planet] d [Suggested Name] Moonchild
::[Planet] e [Suggested Name] Ham Sphere
:[Star] HD 20794
::[Planet] b [Suggested Name] Cosmic Sands
::[Planet] c [Suggested Name] LegoLand
::[Planet] d [Suggested Name] Planet with Arms
:[Star] HD 85512
::[Planet] b [Suggested Name] Lax Morality
:[Star] HD 40307
::[Planet] b [Suggested Name] Good Planet
::[Planet] c [Suggested Name] Problemland
::[Planet] d [Suggested Name] Slickle
::[Planet] e [Suggested Name] Spare Parts
::[Planet] f [Suggested Name] New Jersey VI
::[Planet] g [Suggested Name] How do I Join the IAU
:[Star] Gliese 163
::[Planet] b [Suggested Name] Neil Tyson's Mustache
::[Planet] c [Suggested Name] Help@gmail.com
::[Planet] d [Suggested Name] Hair-Covered Planet
:[Star] Pi Mensae
::[Planet] b [Suggested Name] Moon Holder
:[Star] HD 189733
::[Planet] b [Suggested Name] Permadeath
:[Star] Kepler-22
::[Planet] b [Suggested Name] Blue Ivy
:[Red text for this line:] [Star] Koi-2474
::[Planet] b [Suggested Name] Store-Brand Earth
:[Red text for star-name only:] [Star] Kepler-437 
::[Planet] b [Suggested Name] Unicorn Thresher
:[Star] Koi-2418
::[Planet] b [Suggested Name] Spherical DiscWorld
:[Red text for this line:] [Star] Kepler-438
::[Planet] b [Suggested Name] Emergency Backup Earth 
:[Star] Koi-3010
::[Planet] b [Suggested Name] Feeeooooooooop
:[Star] Kepler-442
::[Planet] b [Suggested Name] Liz
:[Red text for the rest of this column:] [Star] 82 Eridani
::[Planet] b [Suggested Name] Horsemeat Surface
::[Planet] c [Suggested Name] The Moon
::[Planet] d [Suggested Name] Constant Saxophones
:[Star] HD 102365
::[Planet] b [Suggested Name] Little Big Planet
:[Star] Gliese 180
::[Planet] b [Suggested Name] Dune
::[Planet] c [Suggested Name] Arrakis
:[Star] Fomalhaut
::[Planet] b [Suggested Name] Swarm of Bees
:[Star] Kepler-62
::[Planet] b [Suggested Name] Sporty
::[Planet] c [Suggested Name] Baby
::[Planet] d [Suggested Name] Scary
::[Planet] e [Suggested Name] Ginger
::[Planet] f [Suggested Name] Posh
:[Star] Kepler-62
::[Planet] b [Suggested Name] Planet.xxx
::[Planet] c [Suggested Name] Novella
::[Planet] d [Suggested Name] Sexoplanet
:[Star] Gliese 682
::[Planet] b [Suggested Name] Verdant Hellscape
::[Planet] c [Suggested Name] Unsubscribe
:[Star] Kepler-452
::[Planet] b [Suggested Name] Pluto

:[End Right Columns]

==Trivia==
* The IPA character for stress is a vertical line ˈ, but Randall uses a slanted line similar to acute accent ´ or prime ′.
* In the [https://www.explainxkcd.com/wiki/images/archive/f/fd/20150725002854!exoplanet_names_2.png original version of this comic], there were three errors, but they were corrected later the same day. They were:
** Waterworld starring Kevin '''Kostner''' (instead of '''Costner''')
** Upsilon '''Andromidae''' (instead of '''Andromedae''')
** '''Formalhaut''' (instead of '''Fomalhaut''')
* After the initial release of this comic, Randall added a jumbled version of the address to this page. It's viewable in the HTML-source or here: [https://xkcd.com/1555/info.0.json https://xkcd.com/1555/info.0.json]. The text is: ''"Full explanation & dissection & transcription available http:\n\nwww.explainxkcd.com\nwiki\nindex.php\n1555"'', with \n characters replacing the backslashes instead of the JSON-specific \\.

{{comic discussion}}

[[Category:Comics with lowercase text]]
[[Category:Comics with color]]
[[Category:Comics sharing name|Exoplanet Names 2]]
[[Category:Charts]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Black Hat]]
[[Category:Exoplanets]]
[[Category:Astronomy]]
[[Category:Firefly]]
[[Category:Star Wars]]
[[Category:Kerbal Space Program]]
[[Category:Bees]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Spice Girls]]
[[Category:Large drawings]]
[[Category:Comics edited after their publication]]
[[Category:Exoplanet Names]]

1031: s/keyboard/leopard/

2026-01-22T04:59:12Z

Whoop whoop pull up: /* Sentences */

{{comic
| number = 1031
| date = March 19, 2012
| title = s/keyboard/leopard/
| image = s keyboard leopard.png
| titletext = Problem Exists Between Leopard And Chair
}}
Clicking on the image takes you to [http://wiki.xkcd.com/irc/Leopard this link] (now defunct, [https://web.archive.org/web/20190810230906/http://wiki.xkcd.com:80/irc/Leopard archive]).

==Explanation==
Extensions are small programs that install into your {{w|Internet browser}} and change the Web pages as you view them. Some make pages easier to read, some remove ads (the third extension is [https://chrome.google.com/webstore/detail/adblock/gighmmpiobklfepjocnamgkkbiglidom AdBlock]) and so on. [[Randall]]'s browser looks like {{w|Google Chrome}} as viewed on a {{w|Mac (computer)|Mac}}, and he has installed at least four extensions on it, which explains the little symbols to the right of the address bar.

For the joke in this comic, an extension accidentally replaces the word "{{w|Computer keyboard|keyboard}}" with "{{w|leopard}}" in a regex (or {{w|regular expression}}). In computing, a regular expression provides a concise and flexible means to "match" (specify and recognize) patterns in text, such as particular characters or words. The command to substitute/replace a string is "s", e.g. "s/old/new/g" replaces any occurrence of "old" with "new". The title therefore contains the command to change "keyboard" into "leopard".

It's not clear what the extension Randall installed was actually supposed to do, but most extensions that revolve around text replacement are humorous in nature (such as [https://chrome.google.com/webstore/detail/cloud-to-butt-plus/apmlngnhgbnjpajelfkmabhkfapgnoai?hl=en Cloud to Butt], which replaces all instances of "[[908: The Cloud|the cloud]]" with "my butt").

The title text references the common IT phrase "Problem Exists Between Keyboard And Chair" or {{w|PEBKAC}}, which means that the problem is caused by the user, not by any failure of the computer. However, due to the substitution, it is now "Problem Exists Between Leopard And Chair". It could also be a reference to [[A-Minus-Minus]], the comic containing the phrase "Instead of office chair, package contained [[:Category:Bobcats|bobcat]]".

There has been several [[:Category:Substitutions|comics using substitutions]], both before and after this one.

===Sentences===
; Weird, my leopard just switched to Chinese.
: Sometimes, the keyboard settings may switch to Chinese due to a bug, or by unconsciously making the change. It is quite common for users with non-US keyboard layouts to find they have accidentally switched to the 'default', and conceivably this 'feature' could work the other way. Especially on systems with significant historic Chinese involvement in its [[2166: Stack|development]].
: Leopards are not known to speak at all, let alone Chinese. Alternately, it refers to a change in diet of {{w|Man-eater|one form}} or {{w|Chinese restaurant|another}}.

; I work with one leopard on my desk and another in the leopard tray.
: Keyboards often take up desk space, and one solution is to have a [https://www.bpfonline.co.uk/search.asp?catid=2737 keyboard tray] that slides from under the desk, or out of the computer cabinet, when needed. This person apparently has two ''separate'' keyboards attached to their system(s), one taking up desk space and the other on the tray. This is probably more convenient than having two keyboards side by side (or on top of each other) on the desktop or two separate 'trays' (or two keyboards somehow jammed into the same tray), and often a person with such a requirement will have a computer for typical use (with the most accessible keyboard) and a second one only occasional use (with the second keyboard). They could also use a {{w|KVM switch}} for some of the peripherals, but it may not be quite as convenient or as easy to set up as to double up on the keyboards.
: Leopards are traditionally solitary animals outside of mating season, or when a mother is raising her cub(s), and so however practical it is to have two leopards in close proximity, it might be a somewhat necessary compromise to give them each their own area in a given workspace. However, it is generally uncommon to put a leopard in a ''tray'' specifically.{{Citation needed}}

; Ever cleaned a leopard? They're ''filthy''.
: Most people will use a keyboard for a long time, rarely replacing them unless they are actually broken, and possibly using old ones with new computers (if not integrated within their system, as with laptops). All this time, general detritus, skin, hair and even scraps of food will accumulate upon and beneath the keys unless cleaned thoroughly. Most people don't try to clean a keyboard ''until'' the accumulated grime starts to make typing a problem with less sensitive (or over sensitive!) keys. If you're finding it necessary to clean a keyboard at all, you will probably find quite a lot of filth to clean off/out.
: Leopards, like most cats, are generally adept at keeping themselves clean. However, as a wild animal they're perhaps considered less 'clean' than one would hope a household or workplace appliance might be, and this would depend upon one's attitude to their grooming by licking themselves all over.

; The iPhone virtual leopard is the fastest IMO.
: The response time of a keyboard is one of the factors that determine its quality, and the ability to rapidly enter characters (words, code, commands). A {{w|virtual keyboard}}, often implemented as a touch-screen 'app', has to integrate into the interface and the speaker here apparently rates the default iPhone type more than others of this kind.
: Real leopards are known to run fast. It is possible that a virtual leopard may be made to exemplify this speed. The makers of the iPhone have possibly made a virtual leopard that is faster than all real leopards, or at least they have made ''their'' virtual leopard faster than all other virtual leopards from all other vendors.

; I rarely email from my phone—I'm so slow when I'm not on a leopard.
: A disadvantage with virtual keyboards is often the lack of {{w|Haptic technology|haptic feedback}}, as well as the compressed and compromised layout required to fit the keys within interface. It is often much easier to use a proper full-sized keyboard, whether you hunt-and-peck or are an accomplished touch-typist, although this may depend a lot on practice.
: In the context of leopards, the individual concerned seems to appreciate the advantages of being on an actual leopard when emailing, as it makes them faster. This could mean faster because the leopard itself is wont to run around. Or perhaps it is because sitting on the back of a leopard (not particularly known for being a patient beast of burden) means you ''have'' to do what you are trying to do much faster, before the consequences being on a (possibly annoyed) leopard literally come back to bite you.

; My leopard died when I spilled tea on it :(
: Keyboards are not generally waterproof, and react badly to any liquid spill upon them. If you are lucky, you can quickly drain them, let them dry and they will not suffer too many ill effects in the long run. But, if the less resiliant electronics get directly affected, it can mean having to replace the now unresponsive keyboard.
: Leopards are animals which eventually die. They are not known to be particularly susceptible to tea, as a substance, although the typically very hot water would not be comfortable and might contribute to the mortality of one in certain circumstances. Either way, it seems like an upsetting experience. "My leopard" suggests (as with several of the above) that a leopard is being kept as a pet, working animal or perhaps a personal zoo inhabitant, and the loss certainly seems more than if a random leopard were accidentally splashed with a drink.

== Transcript ==
:[There are two browser windows open on a computer screen.]
:[The first browser window, taking up most of the screen, but partly blocked by the other window at the bottom, has a Wikipedia article open. The title of the page can be seen on the active tab.]
:Computer leopard - Wikip...
:[Next to the address bar are four add-ons and the toolbar icon. One of the add-ons is a letter:]
:R
:[To the left on the page are standard menus, with lots of unreadable text, except these words:]
:Help
:Go Search
:[The page is not at the top of the article, so the text begins mid sentence, the very top of the letters just cut of in the first visible sentence.]
:which range from pocket-sized leopards to large desktop leopards, the leopard remains the most common user input device. In addition to text entry, specialized leopards are used for computer gaming.
:While many computer interfaces rely on mice or touchscreens, UNIX-style command-line interfaces require users to interact with a leopard.
:[Below is the contents list - the text in the brackets can barely be read. And only the very top of the 2.3 line can be seen, and is thus only a qualified guess at what it was supposed to say, although it fits with the real wiki article.]
:Contents [hide]
:1. History
:2. Leopard types
::2.1 Standard
::2.2 Laptop-sized
::2.3 Thumb-sized
:[To the right there is a picture of a keyboard. The picture text written below:]
:IBM Model M Leopard

:[The second browser window overlapping the first, at the level of the 2.3 menu point in the content menu, is a message board. The title of the page can be seen on the active tab:]
:Discuss - Leopard issu...
:[Next to the address bar are four add-ons and the toolbar icon. One of the add-ons is a letter:]
:R
:[In the window there is a list of topics next to icons of those starting the topic. The top post is just inside the frame, the icon cut of at the very top.]
:[Face of Cueball-like guy on white background:]
:Weird, my leopard just switched to Chinese.
::3 days ago
:[Super close-up of the head of a person with dark hair on black background:]
:I work with one leopard on my desk and another in the leopard tray.
::3 days ago
:[Full picture of a Cueball-like guy, with white background in the bottom half and dark in the upper half (which would conceal any hair on the persons head):]
:Ever cleaned a leopard? They're ''filthy''.
::2 days ago
:[Head of a cat on black background:]
:The iPhone virtual leopard is the fastest IMO.
::19 hours ago
:[Head of a girl with long blond hair on white background:]
:I rarely email from my phone—I'm so slow when I'm not on a leopard.
::11 hours ago
:[Head of Cueball-like guy. A line seems to be going our from his head, but it could just be one of the lines used to fill in the background:]
:My leopard died when I spilled tea on it :(
::2 hours ago

:[Below the main panel of the comic is the following caption:]
:The Internet got 100 times better when, thanks to an extension with a typo'd regex, my browser started replacing the word "keyboard" with "leopard".

==Trivia==
When first posted, the title of the comic was "s/keyboard/leopard" (the last forward slash after the word "leopard" was missing). This string would have failed had it actually been typed as a substitution regex. The title was later fixed.

{{comic discussion}}

[[Category:Substitutions]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Cueball]]
[[Category:Multiple Cueballs]]
[[Category:Wikipedia]]
[[Category:Internet]]
[[Category:Language]]
[[Category:Animals]]
[[Category:Regex]]
[[Category:Comics edited after their publication]]

2172: Lunar Cycles

2026-01-13T00:07:22Z

Whoop whoop pull up: /* Explanation */

{{comic
| number = 2172
| date = July 5, 2019
| title = Lunar Cycles
| image = lunar_cycles.png
| titletext = The Antikythera mechanism had a whole set of gears specifically to track the cyclic popularity of skinny jeans and low-rise waists.
}}

==Explanation==

This comic shows a mixture of real, scientific lunar cycles and cycles that are comedic or fictional in nature. The first four cycles are factual, while the ones following them are not.

*'''Nodal precession:''' The Moon's orbital plane is tilted slightly compared to the Earth's orbital plane around the sun (the {{w|ecliptic}}). This tilt is why we don't constantly see eclipses; most of the time, the Moon's orbital plane is tilted higher or lower than the Sun, so they generally don't cross each other. The two points at which these planes ''do'' cross are called {{w|lunar nodes}}. {{w|Nodal precession}} is the gradual rotation of these nodes over time, a gyroscopic consequence of Earth's equatorial bulge. For the Moon this follows an 18.6 year cycle.

*'''Apsidal precession:''' All orbits have two points where the orbiting body is either closest to, or furthest away from, the thing they are orbiting. These points are called {{w|apsides}}, and the imaginary line between them is called the ''line of apsides''. {{w|Apsidal precession}} is the gradual rotation of this line over time, which occurs in cycles of around 8.9 years for the Moon.

*'''Phase:''' {{w|Lunar phase}} describes the change in shape of the sunlit side of the Moon as viewed from the Earth's surface, which is caused by the changing angle between Moon and Sun as the Moon revolves around the Earth. The cycle of lunar phases takes 29.5 days, a figure referred to as the ''synodic month''.

*'''Distance:''' Because the Moon's orbit around the Earth is elliptical, its distance from the Earth varies slightly over the course of an orbit. This means that the moon's distance also follows a cycle which is the same as the length of one lunar orbit: approximately 27.5 days. This figure is referred to as the ''anomalistic month''. Note that the synodic month is (perhaps counterintuitively) two days ''longer'' than the sidereal month — or to put it another way, it takes 2 more days for the Moon's phases to cycle than it does for the Moon to go around the Earth. This is due to the fact that the Earth is also moving ''around'' the Sun while the phases are going on, which means that the Moon has to spend 2 extra days "catching up" to the point at which the lunar phase cycle can restart.

*'''Earth-Moon relative size''': This is a joke cycle; the Earth and Moon do not physically change size, nor does the Moon ever become larger than the Earth. This may be playing on the idea that the Moon often ''appears'' to change size to viewers on Earth, due to various factors; most commonly, this is due to the {{w|Moon illusion}}, which tricks the brain into perceiving the Moon as much larger than it really is. There are also so-called {{w|supermoon}}s, which occur when the full moon coincides with the Moon's closest approach to Earth; these actually do increase the Moon's apparent size, although by a relatively insignificant amount.

*'''Lunar shape:''' Again, this is a joke cycle; the Moon does not actually change shape. A shape intermediate between circle and square is known as a {{w|squircle}}, a subclass of the {{w|superellipse}}.

*'''Lunar mood:''' The moon does not have a mood, although humans can have moods that fluctuate over time, sometimes with a regularity akin to a cycle. Ironically, the section of the graph that shows a good (i.e. happy) mood has the graph line curving up then down like the mouth of a frown, and for the bad (unhappy) mood it curves down and then up, as in the mouth of a smile.

* The final diagram shows many different cycles superimposed on each other, highlighting areas where several cycles are coinciding. This is likely satirizing the media trend of overhyping astronomical coincidences and giving them grand-sounding names:
:*The light gray "phase × distance" plot does not correspond to the product of periods given for phase and distance, which [https://i.imgur.com/0i0mcPn.png look like this] instead.
:*A {{w|harvest moon}} is the traditional name for the full moon closest to the autumnal equinox, but there is nothing astronomically significant about it.
:*A {{w|supermoon}} is a full or new moon when the Moon is closest to the Earth, resulting in a slightly larger-than-usual apparent size. A full supermoon is roughly 14% larger in diameter than when the Moon is furthest away. See also [[1394: Superm*n]].
:*A {{w|blue moon}} was originally a description of the very rare occurrence of atmospheric conditions that gave the Moon a bluish tinge, hence the expression "once in a blue moon" for something that happens only rarely. However, the actual blue-hued appearance of the moon is so rare that it the phrase "blue moon" has been reinterpreted as referring to a merely uncommon event: the occurrence of two full moons in a single calendar month. That kind of "blue moon" naturally does not look any different from a regular full moon.
:*A {{w|Blood Moon (eclipse)|blood moon}} refers to the moon during a lunar eclipse.
:*While the popularity of '''skinny jeans''' ({{w|slim-fit pants}}) does change over time, the idea that this is connected to a lunar cycle is also a joke.
:*The {{w|Golden Age of Television}} is said to have occurred in the 1940s and 50s, and the 2000s.
:*'''Pork''' {{w|Mooncake|'''moon'''cakes}} have been prepared in the rural areas west of Shanghai since more than a thousand years ago, for the Chinese {{w|Mid-Autumn Festival}}.
:*[https://scryfall.com/card/m20/120/vampire-of-the-dire-moon "The Vampire of the '''Dire Moon'''"] is a recently introduced, uncommon card from the {{w|Magic: The Gathering}} card game.
:*{{w|Astrology}} is a pseudoscience which claims that the positions of the celestial bodies can be used to predict human affairs. The chart jokingly suggests that astrology actually ''does'' work, but only within a very specific two-week timeframe.
:*Finally, while the idea of a '''total eclipse of the sea''' seems absurd, [https://www.deepseanews.com/2017/08/what-happens-in-the-sea-during-a-solar-eclipse/ an eclipse was famously used to explain the migration of maritime animals]:
:::''biologists were beginning to unravel the mystery of this ‘false bottom’–a layer in the ocean that looks the the  sea floor on the sounder but isn’t–which covered much of the ocean. This false bottom rises in up at night and sinks down during the day. This rising and falling is in fact caused by the largest migration of animal on Earth–everything from fish, shrimp and jellyfish, moving hundreds of meters in unison up and down each day.... the moon moved into its place in front of the sun, daylight rapidly faded, and the scientists solved the migration mystery: the deep layer of animals began to rise. Bioluminescent creatures started to shine, and nocturnal creatures started a frantic upward thrust. As the world grew darker, they swam upward nearly 80 meters. But this frantic migration didn’t last long. As the moon receded and the sun revealed itself, the massive animal layer did an about-face, scrambling back into the safety of the darkness.''
:: (Backus, Clark, and Wing (1965) [https://sci-hub.st/10.1038/205989a0 "Behaviour of certain marine organisms during the solar eclipse of July 20, 1963"] ''Nature'' '''4975:'''989-91.)
The '''{{w|Antikythera_mechanism|Antikythera mechanism}}''' mentioned in the title text is an ancient Greek machine, rediscovered in 1901, designed to calculate astronomical positions. The title text jokes that there is a set of gears on said mechanism that is used to predict the popularity of "skinny jeans" and "low-rise waists." Since it was likely created in the 1st or 2nd century B.C.E., it is impossible for the creators to have had any knowledge of skinny jeans or low-rise waists - both are modern-day clothing fashions.{{citation needed}}
"Total eclipse of the sea" may also refer to the song "Total Eclipse of the Heart".

==Transcript==
:Understanding lunar cycles

:Nodal precession
:[A diagram showing a broad cosine-like wave with wavelength labelled as 18.6 years. To the right are two diagrams showing an orbital cycle moving in and out of plane.]

:Apsidal precession
:[A diagram similar to the one above but with a slightly shorter wavelength, labelled as 8.9 years. To the right are two diagrams showing an elliptical orbit around a planet and the same orbit rotated.]

:Phase
:[A diagram similar to those above with a shorter wavelength, labelled as 29.5 days. To the right is a diagram showing four phases of the moon: New, Waxing crescent, Waxinf gibbos, Full.]

:Distance
:[A diagram similar to those above with a shorter wavelength, labelled as 27.5 days. To the right is a diagram showing the distance of the moon from the Earth over time, with distances marked by arrows.]

:Earth-Moon relative size
:[A wave with long wavelength with an arrow pointing to the minimum labelled 'Earth bigger' and an arrow pointing to the maximum labelled 'Moon bigger'. To the right are two diagrams of the moon and Earth, one showing the Earth bigger than the Moon and the other showing the Moon bigger than the Earth.]

:Lunar shape
:[A wave with long wavelength with an arrow pointing to the minimum labelled 'Circle' and an arrow pointing to the maximum labelled 'Square'. To the right is a diagram showing a circle, a circle transforming into a square with outward arrows at each corner and a square transforming into a circle with inward arrows.]

:Lunar mood
:[A wave with long wavelength with an arrow pointing to the minimum labelled 'Bad' and an arrow pointing to the maximum labelled 'Good'. To the right are four emojis: :), :|, :(, :|]

:[A superimposed graph of all the above waves. Different points on the graph are labelled: Harvest moon, Supermoon, Blue moon, Skinny Jeans popular, Super blood moon, Golden age of TV, Dire moon, Pork moon, Two week window in which astrology works, Total eclipse of the sea.]

[[Category:Astronomy]]
[[Category:Charts]]
[[Category:Emoji]]

{{comic discussion}}

1927: Tinder

2026-01-11T21:31:11Z

Whoop whoop pull up: /* Explanation */ Actually, looking at the vista from the cockpit, the plane IS banking to the right.

{{comic
| number = 1927
| date = December 11, 2017
| title = Tinder
| image = tinder.png
| titletext = People keep telling me to use the radio but I really hate making voice calls.
}}

==Explanation==

{{w|Tinder (app)|Tinder}} is a social media/dating app. The main interface of Tinder shows photos of people. Users swipe right for matches that they like, and left otherwise. The purpose of the app is to get dates, with the intent of a romantic relationship or sexual intercourse. However, in the comic, [[Cueball]] is trying to use it to primarily attract someone capable of flying a plane instead. If the request is genuine (and not just a foible), this is a bad situation, because it suggests Cueball is in charge of a plane that he is unable to fly, and unless he finds a match with someone who can (and is able to provide assistance) the plane will crash. Even then, unless the matched person happens to be on board, and therefore able to assist directly, providing help through Tinder messages is unlikely to be a sufficiently efficient way of solving the problem.{{Citation needed}}

Alternatively, Cueball may simply be pretending that there is an emergency so that he can get matches on Tinder. In either case, depending on the jurisdiction, Cueball may be violating the law by using a cell phone that is not in "airplane mode" (in some phones, "flight mode" or "offline mode") when on an airplane. WiFi can be enabled on some flights during the entire flight; in others it may be banned during takeoff and landing. Even if he is either uploading the picture after the flight or using the in-flight internet service, he is still violating other, more serious laws (if he is a pilot, he may be liable for negligence, and if he is an ordinary passenger, God knows what he may have done...)

The title text explains that Cueball's unwise method for getting help stems from astonishingly skewed priorities and no small amount of selfishness. He claims to strongly dislike conversing over audio-only channels, and this dislike is apparently so overwhelming that he would rather jeopardize his life and that of any passengers on the plane, than put aside his own hang-ups. Even if we give Cueball the benefit of the doubt and assume that he has a phobia of public speaking, most human beings tend to automatically suspend their irrational anxieties when experiencing the fear of imminent mortal peril, at least until after the danger has passed. For example, those normally afraid of dating Cueball would "match" with him to prevent a plane crash, which may be his secret intent after all.

Randall may be satirizing people who use Tinder (and other similar social apps) by portraying an extreme caricature of a Tinder user.

This comic is similar to [[1897: Self Driving]], and as well as [[582: Brakes]], which also is about bad ways to get help in emergencies and other time-critical situations.

==Transcript==

:[A Smartphone is shown with the screen facing the viewer. On the screen is the Tinder UI. The main photo is of Cueball, in the cockpit of a plane which appears to be tilting to the right, holding up a makeshift sign saying:]
:If you know how
:to fly a plane
:please swipe
:right ASAP

{{comic discussion}}

[[Category:Comics featuring Cueball]]
[[Category:Social networking]]
[[Category:Smartphones]]
[[Category:Aviation]]

Black Hat

2026-01-11T20:15:47Z

Whoop whoop pull up:

{{Infobox character
| image = BlackHat_head.png
| imagesize = 200px
| caption = '
| first_appearance = [[29: Hitler]]
}}

<noinclude>:''For a list of comics, see [[:Category:Comics featuring Black Hat|Comics featuring Black Hat]].''
:''For Black Hat's girlfriend, see [[Danish]].''</noinclude>

[[File:Man in Hats.png|400px|thumb|right|[http://meninhats.com/d/20040225.html The ''Men in Hats'' comic] which Black Hat is based on.]]'''Black Hat''' is a [[stick figure]] character in ''[[xkcd]]''. He is distinguished by his eponymous black hat, and, unlike other ''xkcd'' characters, he always represents the same character in every comic. In [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z_zwyJ6IYR0#t=1451 his talk at Dartmouth], [[Randall Munroe|Randall]] discusses his why he wanted to create a separate "asshole" character in his comics, or "Classhole", a term coined by his friend Beth and used in [[72: Classhole]]. In his first appearance, [[29: Hitler]], Black Hat wore a taller top-hat style hat, that quickly evolved to have the current shape and style of a {{w|pork pie hat}}, already used in [[45: Schrodinger]].

The title text of [[29: Hitler]], his first appearance, says he's based on a character named Aram from a now discontinued webcomic called ''[http://www.meninhats.com Men in Hats]'' and, in the original caption, Randall directed the user to a specific ''Men in Hats'' [http://meninhats.com/d/20040225.html comic about parenting]. Like Black Hat, Aram frequently made judgmental, insulting, or controversial comments in a very emotionless manner. Aram wore a dark gray suit with a red bowtie and a black top hat with a white strip above the brim. Black Hat's hat clearly evolved from the top hat design later in ''xkcd''.

==Name==
The official transcript of "Basketball Earth” refers to him as "Blackhat".(https://xkcd.com/1515/info.0.json) In the title texts of [[29: Hitler]] and [[493: Actuarial]], Black Hat is referred to as "the hat guy" and "Hat guy" respectively. In [[1139: Rubber and Glue]] a young [[Hairy]] also gave him the nickname "Hatboy". These early characters may also be different personae.

It's not verified that Black Hat is a reference to {{w|Black hat hacking}}, but the character's personality is in line with the idea of a "black hat hacker" from the software engineering culture that [[Randall|Randall's]] comics are written for. Black Hat speaks from a place of casual power and safety, living in the luxury that many early hobby hackers found by being ahead of the tech curve or even actually hacking financial systems, hatching evil schemes often for no reason other than to cause chaos or go against the societal norms.

The title text also says Black Hat is based on a character named Aram from a now discontinued webcomic called ''[http://www.meninhats.com Men in Hats]'' and, in the original caption, [[Randall Munroe|Randall]] directed the user to a specific ''Men in Hats'' [http://meninhats.com/d/20040225.html comic about parenting]. Like Black Hat, Aram frequently made judgmental, insulting, or controversial comments in a very emotionless manner. Aram wore a gray suit with a red bowtie and a black top hat with a white strip above the brim. Black Hat's hat clearly evolved from the top hat design later in xkcd.

==Characteristics==
He almost always wears his hat and has short hair, as shown in the [[:Category:Journal|"Journal" series]], [[412: Startled]], and [[1401: New]]. Judging by [[1139: Rubber and Glue]] and [[1753: Thumb War]], he has worn the hat since he was a child. He used to work alone, sometimes helped by [[Cueball]], but he has found a female counterpart and partner in [[Danish]], his girlfriend.

While no definite reason is given for how he became so sadistic, in [[792: Password Reuse]] Black Hat says "since March of 1997 I don't really believe in anything" suggesting some traumatic experience made him this way. Some black hat hackers are simply so detached from the real world they don't understand that others suffer; others may have led rough lives and been through crime rings as a sole way to find community. In [[1139: Rubber and Glue]], the boys making fun of Black Hat as a child appear to be in elementary school based on one calling for his mom, so Black Hat probably is too. He is already sadistic by this point so the event would have happened when he was quite young; experiencing it so early would explain how the mystery event could have reshaped his entire personality. Unfortunately, no details are ever given.

{{navbox-characters}}

[[Category:Characters]]
[[Category:Characters with hats| Black Hat]]
[[Category:Major characters]]

1373: Screenshot

2026-01-11T11:49:30Z

Whoop whoop pull up: /* Explanation */

{{distinguish|1863: Screenshots|common=Screenshot01}}
{{comic
| number = 1373
| date = May 26, 2014
| title = Screenshot
| image = screenshot.png
| titletext = I'M PLUGGING IN MY PHONE BUT THE BATTERY ON THE SCREEN ISN'T CHARGING
}}

==Explanation==
[[Randall]] is viewing a {{w|screenshot}} of a text-message exchange via his own phone's web browser. Such screenshots are frequently posted online, to show content ranging from [http://www.damnyouautocorrect.com/ humorous typos] to [http://www.reddit.com/r/creepyPMs creepy behavior]. In this screenshot, in addition to the text messages' content, we see a battery bar reflecting a charge of 6%; this effectively "{{w|photobombing|photobombs}}" (or distracts Randall from) the actual content of the original screenshot. On the other hand, the phone on which the shot is viewed is charged at a healthy 85%.

The phone the screenshot is taken from is an iPhone, while the phone being viewed is an Android. Another iPhone screenshot was the joke in [[1815: Flag]], where a 39% battery charge is of some minor concern to the intended recipients of the flag.

The title text suggests that Randall has plugged in his phone to quell the anxiety induced by the 6% charge in the screenshot, mistaking it for the actual battery indicator of his own phone. This measure is obviously unsuccessful, as charging his own phone does nothing to change the charge of the phone in the picture. A similar phenomenon is when a screenshot is viewed and the viewer attempts to use the controls (e.g. buttons) in the image.

Randall's fear of losing power to his phone was later explored in [[1802: Phone]] and [[1872: Backup Batteries]], where he brings extra batteries and it is also part of the joke in comic [[1965: Background Apps]].

An alternative interpretation for the title text is that the screenshot was posted as part of a thread asking why their phone isn't charging. This would be ironic, as Randall's focusing on the battery level means his eyes are being drawn to the very problem being spoken about, yet he is too distracted by it to read that this is the problem!

Screenshot quality was discussed later in [[1863: Screenshots]].

==Transcript==
:[Caption above the panel:]
:When someone posts a screenshot of their phone,

:[The panel shows the screen of an Android phone. At the top there is a black Android status bar with icons like WiFi, battery charge and the time, all in white:]
:85% 10:02 PM

:[Below the status bar is the open program, which is an internet browser, which shows the address field with an unreadable address and the tap icon to the right and the three dots for options. Below that is the page viewed in the browser. It seems to be a post from a person. Below the address bar is a picture of a user with dark hair in a square frame. To the right are two lines of unreadable user information. The post contains a picture posted by the user, and it is a screenshot of a chat/SMS conversation from another phone. The screen is light blue and the conversations has three blue speech bubbles to the left and two replies in between those in green to the right. All posts are unreadable, as are all other words in the picture. At the bottom of the picture the top of another users post, i.e. half the users image, can be seen. At the top of the picture, the status bar from this iPhone screen shot can be seen with icons both left, center and right. To the right the charge icon battery shows a very low charge, indicated with a small red line at the bottom of the battery. Around this low charged battery icon there is drawn a large red circle like spiral, circling the battery symbol two or three times, and four exclamation marks are written above this. The only thing that can be read in the picture is the charge percentage:]
:''!!!!''
:6%

:[Caption below the panel:]
:I can't pay attention to the content if their battery is low.

{{comic discussion}}

[[Category:Comics with color]]
[[Category:Smartphones]]
[[Category:Comics with red annotations]]

1122: Electoral Precedent

2025-12-08T23:35:48Z

Whoop whoop pull up: /* Table of Broken Precedents */

{{comic
| number = 1122
| date = October 17, 2012
| title = Electoral Precedent
| image = electoral_precedent.png
| titletext = No white guy who's been mentioned on Twitter has gone on to win.
}}

==Explanation==

During election season in U.S. presidential elections — and especially in election night coverage — it is common for the media to make comments like the ones set out in the first panel of this comic. [[Randall Munroe|Randall]] is demonstrating the problem with making such statements, many of which simply come down to coincidence.

After the first panel the next 56 panels in this comic refer to each one of the {{w|United States presidential election#Electoral college results|56 presidential elections}} in U.S. history before {{w|Barack Obama|Obama's}} re-election in 2012. The panels depict a pre-election commentator noting a quality or condition that has never occurred to a candidate until one of the candidates in that election broke the streak. In other words, one can always find at least one unique thing about a candidate who has gone on to win (or in some cases, lose) or the circumstances under which they won (or lost) that is unique from all previous winners (or losers). It's worth noting that some of these 'firsts' were truly precedent-setting (such as the first incumbent losing, the first president to win a third term, the first Catholic president, etc.), but the fact that they hadn't happened was no assurance that there wouldn't be a first time. As the years pass on, these 'streaks' become more and more nested and complicated, and then brought by Randall to the point of absurdity by pointing out very trivial things, such as "No Democratic {{w|incumbent}} without combat experience has ever beaten someone whose first name is worth more in {{w|Scrabble}}" (1996).

The flaw made by pundits while reporting such streaks is that there will always be ''something'' that has never happened before in an election, and they purport to suggest that these things are related to the candidate's win or loss. Randall considers this a logical flaw. A common one is, as noted in several panels, candidates can't win without winning certain states. The question, however, is one of {{w|Correlation does not imply causation|cause or effect}}.

Given that there have only been 56 elections, there are always going to be things that haven't happened before. If you go out looking for them, you're sure to find some. There is no magic about why these events haven't happened. In most cases, it is merely a coincidence.

In the last two panels, two more statements like the previous are given. They were both true before the {{w|United States presidential election, 2012|election in 2012}} on November the 6th. The comic came out in the middle of the campaign on October the 17th. The statements were constructed so that the first predicts that Obama can't win over {{w|Mitt Romney}}, and the second that he cannot lose. As Obama won the election he thus ended the streak ''Democratic incumbents never beat taller challengers'' whereas the other streak is still valid.

The title text refers to the fact that {{w|Twitter}} was founded in 2006. Obama won in 2008, so at the time of the comic it was true that no white male person mentioned on Twitter had ever gone on to win the presidency; although certainly some former presidents, all of whom were white males, have subsequently been mentioned on Twitter. This streak was broken in the next election year when Donald Trump won the 2016 election.

During these last four weeks before the election, Randall posted no fewer than four comics related to this election. The others are: [[1127: Congress]], [[1130: Poll Watching]] and [[1131: Math]].

In 2020, Randall posted an update to this comic: [[2383: Electoral Precedent 2020]].

===Table of Broken Precedents===

{| border =1 width=100% cellpadding=5 class="wikitable"
|-
! Year !! Broken Precedent !! Explanation !! Validity
|-
| 1788
| No one has been elected president before. ...But Washington was.
| Discounting the Articles of Confederation and its {{w|President of the Continental Congress|president}}, Washington is the first president of the United States.{{Citation needed}}
| True
|-
| 1792
| No incumbent has ever been reelected. ...Until Washington.
| Washington is the first person who had a second term. He was unopposed so there was no challenger.
| True
|-
| 1796
| No one without false teeth has become president. ...But Adams did.
| Washington had false teeth, made of human teeth and other materials. His successor Adams, despite having tooth decay, refused to wear false teeth.
| True
|-
| 1800
| No challenger has beaten an incumbent. ...But Jefferson did.
| Adams is the first president not to have a second term, due to signing the unpopular {{w|Alien and Sedition Acts}}. He was defeated by the challenger, Jefferson.
| True
|-
| 1804
| No incumbent has beaten a challenger. ...Until Jefferson.
| The 2 previous incumbents were Washington, who was unopposed, and Adams, who lost as an incumbent (to Jefferson).
| True
|-
| 1808
| No congressman has ever become president. ...Until Madison.
| While George Washington served in the House of Burgesses, Madison served as congressman for Virginia's 5th district from 1789 to 1793 and the 15th District from 1793 to 1797 in the U. S. Congress.
| True
|-
| 1812
| No one can win without New York. ...But Madison did.
| While it is true New York voted against Madison but he still won, New York did not vote for Washington due to an {{w|1788-89_United_States_presidential_election#Failure_of_New_York_to_appoint_electors|internal dispute}}.
| False
|-
| 1816
| No candidate who doesn't wear a wig can get elected. ...Until Monroe was.
| Despite popular misconception, Washington did not wear a wig, but in fact powdered his hair white.
| False
|-
| 1820
| No one who wears pants instead of {{w|Culottes|breeches}} can be reelected. ...But Monroe was.
| The first 5 presidents, including Monroe, all wore breeches.
| False
|-
| 1824
| No one has ever won without a popular majority. ...J.Q. Adams did.
| Jackson won the plurality of the popular vote and Electoral College. But as it was a four way election, he did not achieve a majority - so the vote went to Congress, who elected John Quincy Adams.
| True
|-
| 1828
| Only people from Massachusetts and Virginia can win. ...Until Jackson did.
| Jackson was from South Carolina, while all previous presidents were from Massachusetts or Virginia.
| True
|-
| 1832
| The only presidents who get reelected are Virginians. ...Until Jackson.
| Washington, Jefferson, Madison and Monroe were the only re-elected presidents at that time, and they were all Virginians.
| True
|-
| 1836
| New Yorkers always lose. ...Until Van Buren.
| Martin Van Buren is the first president from the state of New York.
| True
|-
|1840
| No one over 65 has won the presidency. ...Until Harrison did.
| He was 68 and the first over 65, and died of pneumonia 31 days after giving the longest inauguration to date.
| True
|-
|1844
| No one who's lost his home state has won. ...But Polk did.
| If "home state" refers to the state of residence, Polk is the first, losing Tennessee to Clay but took 15 of the 26 states including New York. However, if you count it as state of birth, Jackson and Harrison already did.
| Maybe
|-
|1848
| As goes Mississippi, so goes the nation. ...Until 1848.
| Prior to 1848, every candidate who had won the state of Mississippi had won the election, with the only exception being the 1824 election, where John Quincy Adams was elected by Congress, due to no one winning the Electoral College. In 1848, Lewis Cass won the state of Mississippi, but lost the election to Zachary Taylor.
| True
|-
|1852
|New England Democrats can't win. ...Until Pierce did.
|Pierce is the first candidate from the Democratic Party from New England, specifically New Hampshire, and he won the election of 1852.
| True
|-
|1856
| No one can become president without getting married. ...Until Buchanan did.
| While other presidents were widowers, Buchanan was the first unmarried president, being a life long bachelor.
| True
|-
|1860
| No one over 6'3" can get elected. ...Until Lincoln.
| Lincoln was the first president over 6'3" president, at 6'4" tall, making him the tallest president to date.
| True
|-
|1864
|No one with a beard has been reelected. ...But Lincoln was.
|Lincoln was the first U.S. president to have a beard.
|True
|-
|1868
|No one can be president if their parents are alive. ...Until Grant.
|The veracity depends on if BOTH parents have to be alive, or if any parents are alive. If either parent can be alive, then Washington's mother, Mary Ball Washington, died four months after he became president. If both have to be alive, Grant was indeed the first president to have both parents alive when assuming office.
|Maybe
|-
|1872
|No one with a beard has been reelected in peacetime. ...Until Grant was.
|Grant was the second U.S. president (behind Lincoln) to be reelected with a beard, but only Grant was reelected during peacetime.
|True
|-
|1876
|No one can win a majority of the popular vote and still lose. ...Tilden did.
|Samuel Tilden won a majority of the popular vote, with 51%, but lost in the electoral college in a {{w|1876 United States presidential election|contested election}}, resolved by the {{w|Compromise of 1877}}. (During the election of 1824, Jackson won the popular vote but did not win more than half of it, a majority)
|True
|-
|1880
|As goes California, so goes the nation. ...Until it went Hancock.
|Since being a state in 1850, the winner of California had won the election - until 1880 when Winfield Hancock won California but lost the election to James Garfield.
|True
|-
|1884
|Candidates named "James" can't lose. ...Until James Blaine.
|James Blaine was the first major candidate with the first name "James" to lose an election, losing to Grover Cleveland.
|True
|-
|1888
|No sitting president has been beaten since the Civil War. ...Cleveland was.
|Grover Cleveland was the first president since the end of the Civil War to be defeated by a challenger, losing to Benjamin Harrison. Andrew Johnson was not chosen as the Democratic candidate in 1868. Ulysses S. Grant served 2 terms and did not run for a 3rd term. Rutherford B. Hayes and Chester A. Arthur (who became president after the assassination of James Garfield) did not seek reelection after their first term.
|True
|-
|1892
|No former president has been elected. ...Until Cleveland.
|Cleveland was the first (and, prior to 2025, only) president to serve two non-consecutive terms, winning the presidential election in 1884, losing in 1888 and winning in 1892.
|True
|-
|1896
|Tall Midwesterners are unbeatable. ...Bryan wasn't.
|William Jennings Bryan lost the 1896 election to William McKinley. Bryan's measurements have been lost to history, but contemporary historians described him as "a tall, slender, handsome fellow".
|True
|-
|1900
|No Republican shorter than 5'8" has been reelected. ...Until McKinley was.
|At the time, McKinley was only the 3rd Republican who was reelected (behind Lincoln and Grant). And he was the shortest of them all, at 5'7" tall.
|True
|-
|1904
|No one under 45 has been elected. ...Roosevelt was.
|At the start of his presidency, Theodore Roosevelt was the youngest president, taking office at the age of 42 when McKinley died in 1901. However, he was not elected President until 1904, by which time he was no longer under 45. The precedent was broken in 1960 when Kennedy was elected at age 43.
|False
|-
|1908
|No Republican who hasn't served in the military has won. ...Until Taft.
|Taft was the first Republican to win an election and not serve in the military - Lincoln served during the Black Hawk War; Grant, Hayes, Garfield, Benjamin Harrison, and McKinley served in the Civil War; and Theodore Roosevelt served in the Spanish-American War.
|True
|-
|1912
|After Lincoln beat the Democrats while sporting a beard with no mustache, the only Democrats who can win have a mustache with no beard. ...Wilson had neither.
|From Lincoln's presidency to Wilson's, only one Democrat won- Grover Cleveland, who had a mustache but no beard.
|True
|-
|1916
|No Democrat has won while losing West Virginia. ...Wilson did.
|Since its statehood in 1863, Wilson is the first Democrat to lose West Virginia, but win the national election.
|True
|-
|1920
|No incumbent senator has won. ...Until Harding.
|Harding was the first sitting Senator to become President - he resigned his position as Senator to become President.
|True
|-
|1924
|No one with two Cs in their name has become president. ...Until Calvin Coolidge.
|'''C'''alvin '''C'''oolidge was the first with "two C's in his name". Presidents with "one C" in their names prior to Coolidge were John Quin'''c'''y Adams, Andrew Ja'''c'''kson, Za'''c'''hary Taylor, Franklin Pier'''c'''e, James Bu'''c'''hanan, Abraham Lin'''c'''oln, '''C'''hester A. Arthur, Grover '''C'''leveland and William M'''c'''Kinley.
|True
|-
|1928
|No one who got ten million votes has lost. ...Until Al Smith.
|Smith was the first candidate to get more than 10 million votes and lose. He received over 15 million votes, but lost to Herbert Hoover, who received 21.4 million votes, and won the electoral college, 444-87.
|True
|-
|1932
|No Democrat has won since women secured the right to vote. ...Until FDR did.
|FDR was the first Democrat to win since 1919 when women secured the right to vote.
|True
|-
|1936
|No President's been reelected with double-digit unemployment. ...Until FDR was.
|FDR was reelected during the Great Depression when unemployment peaked at 22-25%.
|True
|-
|1940
|No one has won a third term. ...Until FDR did.
|FDR is the first and only president to be elected for 4 terms due to his popularity/policies. This is now made impossible by the {{w|Twenty-second Amendment to the United States Constitution|22nd amendment}}, which limits a president to 2 elected terms.
|True
|-
|1944
|No Democrat has won during wartime. ...Until FDR did.
|The United States has engaged in many minor wars near-constantly since its formation, although it being "wartime" in the country for many of these is debatable. Martin Van Buren won during the Second Seminole War, Franklin Pierce won during the Cayuse war and Apache war, James Buchanan won during Bleeding Kansas, the Third Seminole War, the Yakima War, and the Second Opium War, Grover Cleveland won during the Garza Revolution, and Woodrow Wilson won during the Border War, the Occupation of Nicaragua, the Occupation of Haiti, and the Occupation of the Dominican Republic. FDR was, however, the first Democrat to win election to the presidency while the United States was fighting a ''declared'' war.
|False
|-
|1948
|Democrats can't win without Alabama. ...Truman did.
|Although technically true, the Democrat party did not appear on the ballot in Alabama in 1948, making it impossible for them to have won under any circumstances. It's also worth noting that Alabama had consistently voted Democrat in every election since Alabama's formation as a state except for 1864, when it was in the confederate states, and in 1868 and 1872, where Ulysses S. Grant would win both times. A democrat would not lose a popular vote in Alabama while appearing on the ballot until 1968, and would not win an election while losing the vote in Alabama until 1992.
|True
|-
|1952
|No Republican has won without winning the House or Senate. ...Eisenhower did.
|Republicans won control of ''both'' the {{w|1952 United States House of Representatives elections|House}} and {{w|1952 United States Senate elections|Senate}} in 1952. This precedent would be broken in 1956 after Democrats flipped both chambers in 1954.
|True
|-
|1956
|No one can beat the same nominee a second time in a leap year rematch. ...Until Eisenhower.
|The phrase "leap year" excludes the elections of 1800 and 1900, which were not leap years in the U.S. or most other countries (although they were leap years in Russia, which was still using the Julian calendar).
|True
|-
|1960
|Catholics can't win. ...Kennedy beat Nixon.
|The only other Catholic to be nominated until 1960 was Democrat Alfred E. Smith in 1928.
|True
|-
|1964
|Every Republican who's taken Louisiana has won. ...Until Goldwater.
|Prior to 1964, only two Republicans had won Louisiana: Rutherford Hayes in 1876 and Dwight Eisenhower in 1956. Both won, however in 1876 the election in Louisiana was contested until the Compromise of 1877 resolved it in favor of Hayes.
|True
|-
|1968
|No Republican vice president has risen to the Presidency through an election. ...Until Nixon.
|Theodore Roosevelt, the winner of the 1904 election, was a Republican former Vice President, but he had already risen to the Presidency in 1901 when McKinley died in office.
|True
|-
|1972
|Quakers can't win twice. ...Until Nixon did.
|The only Quaker president before Nixon was Herbert Hoover. Hoover only served one term.
|True
|-
|1976
|No one who lost New Mexico has won. ...But Carter did.
|From its statehood in 1912 to 1972, New Mexico had been a reliable bellwether state. (The 1976 election is still, as of 2021, the only one where the winner of the popular vote did not take New Mexico.)
|True
|-
|1980
|No one has been elected President after a divorce. ...Until Reagan was.
|Reagan was the first divorced President.
|True
|-
|1984
|No left-handed president has been reelected. ...Until Reagan was.
|Reagan is one of 8 left-handed presidents (as of 2022). None of the 4 left-handed presidents prior to Reagan was reelected (James Garfield was assassinated in his first year in office, Gerald Ford was never elected at all, and Herbert Hoover and Harry Truman only served one full term each).
|True
|-
|1988
|No one with two middle names has become president. ...Until "Herbert Walker".
|George H. W. Bush is the first and to date only president with 2 middle names.
|True
|-
|1992
|No Democrat has won without a majority of the Catholic vote. ...Until Clinton did.
|The exact breakdown of the Catholic vote in each individual election is unknown until the advent of demographic-based exit polling, however Catholics have historically been strongly Democratic until 1968. In 1976, Carter won an estimated 54-57% of the Catholic vote, while in 1992 Bill Clinton only won 44% due to the independent campaign of Ross Perot.
|True
|-
|1996
|No Dem. incumbent without combat experience has beaten someone whose first name is worth more in Scrabble. ...Until Bill beat Bob.
|This refers to {{w|Bill Clinton}} and {{w|Bob Dole}}. However, their legal names are William Jefferson Clinton and Robert Joseph Dole. Their first names are William (worth 12 points) and Robert (worth 8 points), not Bill and Bob.
|
|-
|2000
|No Republican has won without Vermont. ...Until Bush did.
|Vermont had voted for Republicans in every presidential election from 1856 (the first contested by the Republicans) to 1988, with the exception of 1964. George W. Bush was indeed the first Republican to win the presidency while losing Vermont.
|True
|-
|2004
|No Republican without combat experience has beaten someone two inches taller. ...Until Bush did.
|John Kerry served for 4 months in the Vietnam war, while George Bush has no combat experience. John Kerry is 11 cm taller than George Bush which is actually about 4.3 inches, not 2. Assuming "two inches taller" means *at least* two inches taller and not *about* two inches taller, then Randall is correct.
|Maybe
|-
|2008
|No Democrat can win without Missouri. ...Until Obama did.
|Missouri had been a Democratic stronghold for the later half of the 19th century and was a {{w|Missouri bellwether|key bellwether state}} from 1904 to 2004. Obama is the first Democrat to win without Missouri, and 2008 is considered the year when Missouri ceased being a bellwether.
|True
|-
|2012?
|Democratic incumbents never beat taller challengers.
|Barack Obama is 6' 1" (185 cm), and Mitt Romney is 6' 2" (188 cm). When Obama won, it broke the streak.
|...Until Obama did.
|-
|2012?
|No nominee whose first name contains a "K" has lost.
|This apparently refers only to major party nominees, as many third party and other nominees with a first name containing "K" have lost, such as {{w|Frank T. Johns}} of the Socialist Labor Party of America. Major party nominees with a "K" have won, such as Democrats Franklin Pierce, Franklin Roosevelt, and Barack Obama. If Romney had won, it would have broken the streak with respect to major party nominees, although not the streak as stated, which had already been broken with respect to all nominees.
The streak ended up being broken in 2024, long after the setting of this comic, when Kamala Harris lost to Donald Trump. There was no sequel comic that addressed the options for what conditions Harris/Trump would each have to avert, so we do not know whether this would have been raised as the relevant 'streak to break'.
|True (In 2012)
...Until Kamala did. (As of 2024)
|-
|Title text
|No white guy who's been mentioned on Twitter has gone on to win.
|Twitter was founded in 2006; Barack Obama was the first president elected since its founding, and although he had been mentioned on Twitter prior to his election, he is not a white male and so did not break the streak. The streak was broken in 2016 when Donald Trump was elected.
|...Until Trump did.
|}

==Transcript==
:The problem with statements like
:"No <party> candidate has won the election without <state>"
:Or
:"No president has been reelected under <circumstances>"

:[Each statement below has its own panel. The year is in a caption, the precedent is stated by a standing Cueball in the main panel, and the president who broke it is below the panel.]
:1788... No one has been elected president before. ...But Washington was.
:1792... No incumbent has ever been reelected. ...Until Washington.
:1796... No one without false teeth has become president. ...But Adams did.
:1800... No challenger has beaten an incumbent. ...But Jefferson did.
:1804... No incumbent has beaten a challenger. ...Until Jefferson.
:1808... No congressman has ever become president. ...Until Madison.
:1812... No one can win without New York. ...But Madison did.
:1816... No candidate who doesn't wear a wig can get elected. ...Until Monroe was.
:1820... No one who wears pants instead of breeches can be reelected. ...But Monroe was.
:1824... No one has ever won without a popular majority. ...J.Q. Adams did.
:1828... Only people from Massachusetts and Virginia can win. ...Until Jackson did.
:1832... The only presidents who get reelected are Virginians. ...Until Jackson.
:1836... New Yorkers always lose. ...Until Van Buren.
:1840... No one over 65 has won the presidency. ...Until Harrison did.
:1844... No one who's lost his home state has won. ...But Polk did.
:1848... As goes Mississippi, so goes the nation. ...Until 1848.
:1852... New England Democrats can't win. ...Until Pierce did.
:1856... No one can become president without getting married. ...Until Buchanan did.
:1860... No one over 6'3" can get elected. ...Until Lincoln.
:1864... No one with a beard has been reelected. ...But Lincoln was.
:1868... No one can be president if their parents are alive. ...Until Grant.
:1872... No one with a beard has been reelected in peacetime. ...Until Grant was.
:1876... No one can win a majority of the popular vote and still lose. ...Tilden did.
:1880... As goes California, so goes the nation. ...Until it went Hancock.
:1884... Candidates named "James" can't lose. ...Until James Blaine.
:1888... No sitting president has been beaten since the Civil War. ...Cleveland was.
:1892... No former president has been elected. ...Until Cleveland.
:1896... Tall Midwesterners are unbeatable. ...Bryan wasn't.
:1900... No Republican shorter than 5'8" has been reelected. ...Until McKinley was.
:1904... No one under 45 has been elected. ...Roosevelt did.
:1908... No Republican who hasn't served in the military has won. ...Until Taft.
:[The precedent takes up the entire panel this year. Consequently, there is no Cueball.] 1912... After Lincoln beat the Democrats while sporting a beard with no mustache, the only Democrats who can win have a mustache with no beard. ...Wilson had neither.
:1916... No Democrat has won while losing West Virginia. ...Wilson did.
:1920... No incumbent senator has won. ...Until Harding.
:1924... No one with two Cs in their name has become president. ...Until Calvin Coolidge.
:1928... No one who got ten million votes has lost. ...Until Al Smith.
:1932... No Democrat has won since women secured the right to vote. ...Until FDR did.
:1936... No president's been reelected with double-digit unemployment. ...Until FDR was.
:1940... No one has won a third term. ...Until FDR did.
:1944... No Democrat has won during wartime. ...Until FDR did.
:1948... Democrats can't win without Alabama. ...Truman did.
:1952... No Republican has won without winning the House or Senate. ...Eisenhower did.
:1956... No one can beat the same nominee a second time in a leap year rematch. ...Until Eisenhower.
:1960... Catholics can't win. ...Until Kennedy.
:1964... Every Republican who's taken Louisiana has won. ...Until Goldwater.
:[The panel is zoomed in on Cueball's head in this frame.] 1968... No Republican vice president has risen to the Presidency through an election. ...Until Nixon.
:[The panel is zoomed in on Cueball's head in this frame.] 1972... Quakers can't win twice. ...Until Nixon did.
:1976... No one who lost New Mexico has won. ...But Carter did.
:1980... No one has been elected president after a divorce. ...Until Reagan was.
:1984... No left-handed president has been reelected. ...Until Reagan was.
:[The panel is zoomed in on Cueball's head in this frame.] 1988... No one with two middle names has become president. ...Until "Herbert Walker".
:[The panel is zoomed in on Cueball's head in this frame.] 1992... No Democrat has won without a majority of the Catholic vote. ...Until Clinton did.
:[The precedent takes up the entire panel this year. Consequently, there is no Cueball.] 1996... No Dem. incumbent without combat experience has beaten someone whose first name is worth more in Scrabble. ...Until Bill beat Bob.
:2000... No Republican has won without Vermont. ...Until Bush did.
:[The panel is zoomed in on Cueball's head in this frame.] 2004... No Republican without combat experience has beaten someone two inches taller ...Until Bush did.
:2008... No Democrat can win without Missouri. ...Until Obama did.
:[This year has two panels.] 2012... [Panel one] Democratic incumbents never beat taller challengers. [Panel two] No nominee whose first name contains a "K" has lost. [Text under panels] Which streak will break?

[[Category:Comics featuring Ronald Reagan]]

==Trivia/Errors==
* There was an error in the original 1800 panel of the comic, as Jefferson (not Adams) was the first challenger to beat an incumbent, when Jefferson beat then-president Adams in 1800. This was later corrected.

* The first president without a wig was technically Washington, who did not wear a wig, but in fact powdered his hair white.

* Although Theodore Roosevelt became the first president under age 45 and was later elected president, he was not elected before the age of 45.

* Also, one of the statements of a streak for the 2012 elections can be considered wrong: in 1952, the Republican candidate/running mate Eisenhower/Nixon defeated the Democratic alliterative ticket Stevenson/Sparkman (in what can only be described as a landslide). The comic has been changed, and now reads "Democratic incumbents never beat taller challengers" as the streak which would have the Republican ticket as the winners.

{{comic discussion}}
[[Category:Comics with lowercase text]] 
[[Category:Comics featuring Cueball]]
[[Category:Statistics]]
[[Category:Politics]]
[[Category:Elections]]
[[Category:Comics featuring John F. Kennedy]]
[[Category:Comics featuring politicians]]

969: Delta-P

2025-11-18T00:27:57Z

Whoop whoop pull up: /* Explanation */ Fixing link.

{{comic
| number = 969
| date = October 26, 2011
| title = Delta-P
| image = delta p.png
| titletext = If you fire a Portal gun through the door of the wardrobe, space and time knot together, which leads to a frustrated Aslan trying to impart Christian morality to the Space sphere.
}}

==Explanation==
''{{w|The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe}}'' is a book in which four children accidentally wander into a world known as {{w|Narnia}} through a wardrobe that only allows passage through to Narnia when you aren't looking for it. In the comic, someone connects an anchor to the wardrobe and throws it into the ocean. The formula describes the flow of water through the open doors when the wardrobe sits at the bottom of the ocean in 2 km depth, which means that a steady stream of water at an approximate velocity of 200 meters per second will flow into Narnia.

The evil {{w|White Witch}}, who has made it [http://www.goodreads.com/quotes/93155-always-winter-but-never-christmas "always winter, and never Christmas,"] could not have anticipated that a wardrobe portal would suddenly begin spewing approximately 400,000 liters of water per second into Narnia.{{Citation needed}}

Sea water freezes at low temperatures and flowing water freezes at even lower temperatures, depending how fast it is going. Water jetting out from this portal would be flowing very quickly indeed, approximately 200 meters per second (450 mph or 720 km/h) as the comic says; this is over half the speed of sound in air.

This water would not freeze. First it would devastate any forest trees or iron lamp posts in front of it until it eventually slowed down and fell to the ground, creating a rapidly expanding river of sea water. Narnia would not stay frozen for long, as snow would melt, ice would break apart and the valley would quickly flood.

Delta-P is a mathematical term for the difference in pressure. The {{w|Hagen–Poiseuille equation}} which can be applied to a flowing liquid in a long cylindrical pipe results in an unphysically high flow rate because the opening is rectangular and too short for a {{w|Laminar flow|laminar flow}}. However, one can use {{w|Bernoulli's principle}} to bound the flow velocity, even in the case of turbulent flow. The maximum flow rate is given by:
:<math>Q_\max{} = \pi R^2 \sqrt\frac{2 \Delta P}{\rho}</math>
:<math>\pi R^2</math> is the pipe cross-sectional area (m2) and <math>\rho</math> is the fluid density (kg/m3).
From the {{w|Hydrostatics|hydrostatics}} of water the pressure difference depends on gravity and the height:
:<math>\Delta P = \rho g h,</math>
:<math>g</math> is the gravitational acceleration (m/s2) and <math>h</math> is the height (m).
Putting this together and changing the cross-sectional area to a rectangular area <math>A</math> we get the formula used by Randall:
:<math>Q_\max{} = A \sqrt{2 g h}</math>
Assuming the wardrobe is two meter high and one in width (''A = 2 m2'') and using the gravitational constant ''g = 9.81 m/s2'' the flow rate is 396 m3 per second, or 396,000 liters per second.
The water jet velocity ''v'' is based on {{w|Torricelli's law}}:
:<math>v=\sqrt{{2 g}{h}}</math>
It gives 198 m/s in this scenario.

The title text references the video game ''{{w|Portal (video game)|Portal}}'' in which you solve puzzles using a gun which projects portals onto certain surfaces. In the game you cannot shoot a portal through a portal, but [[Randall]] says that if you try to create a portal with the portal gun through the wardrobe, space and time knot together. C. S. Lewis's ''{{w|The Chronicles of Narnia}}'' series (like most of his writing) is influenced by his views on Christianity and morality (he did not set out to write a "Christian story", but later accepted that there are many parallels between the ''Chronicles'' and his faith), with {{w|Aslan}} the lion representing Jesus Christ. As such, Aslan often provides lessons and advice on morality and faith to the main characters; however, the Space Sphere (a minor character in the game ''{{w|Portal 2}}'') is a barely-sentient AI whose only preoccupation is going to space, and it would not be receptive to Aslan's teachings. The Space Sphere might be more interested in Lewis's ''{{w|The Space Trilogy}}'', a trilogy of science-fiction books in which the main character travels through space and learns that the divine struggles between good and evil on Earth are also reflected elsewhere in the solar system.

=== Trivia ===

* In the dark fantasy light novel series ''{{w|Goblin Slayer}}'' (and its anime adaptation), the titular main character uses a portal scroll keyed to the bottom of the ocean to slay a powerful ogre with a water jet as described here.

==Transcript==
:[An open wardrobe, with a boat anchor attached to one corner, falling towards water.]
:[Below the water line a formula with its variables explained is shown:]
:Q = A * sqrt(2 * g * d)
:Q = flow rate
:A = area of opening
:d = ocean depth (2 km)
:g = Earth gravity

:[And below the formula:]
:Flow: ~400,000 liters/s
:Water jet velocity: ~200 m/s

:[Caption below the frame:]
:The White Witch didn't know what hit her.

{{comic discussion}}
[[Category:Comics with color]]
[[Category:Physics]]
[[Category:Video games]]
[[Category:Fiction]]
[[Category:Chronicles of Narnia]]

525: I Know You're Listening

2025-06-30T00:58:03Z

Whoop whoop pull up: /* Explanation */

{{comic
| number = 525
| date = January 2, 2009
| title = I Know You're Listening
| image = i know youre listening.png
| titletext = Basically it's Pascal's Wager for the paranoid prankster.
}}

==Explanation==
[[Cueball]] occasionally says "I know you're listening" aloud in empty rooms. The idea is that, with nobody listening, he doesn't lose anything; if somebody ''is'' listening, however, he gains by freaking them out, which might cause them to reveal themselves and/or cease their activites. In this case, another Cueball-like surveillance man does get quite the shock.

As mentioned in the title text, this is similar to {{w|Pascal's Wager}}. {{w|Blaise Pascal}} was a French philosopher and mathematician who discussed the issue of the possibility that God actually does exist or not. According to Pascal, a rational person should live as though (a Christian) God exists, because he would lose negligible things if this turns out not to be true, but would gain immensely if it is true, by going to heaven in the afterlife. As Pascal himself recognized, this is not a proof of any god's existence, Christian or otherwise, but rather an inexorable choice made by every human being. Cueball makes a similar choice here, though hardly for such a moral reason.

A similar joke was made in the {{What If|55|Random Sneeze Call}} article/chapter of [[What If?]], where [[Cueball]] picks up a phone after sneezing, only to hear someone say "I know what you did." The difference, however, would be that in this comic, [[Randall]] ''will not'' be heard if he is wrong. If he calls a random phone number, he ''will'' be heard, even if he is wrong.

{| class="wikitable"
|+ Game Theory Matrix of Cueball's Choice
|-
| || Nobody's spying on Cueball || Somebody's spying on Cueball
|-
| Cueball does nothing || Null outcome || Cueball is being spied on
|-
| Cueball claims to know that they're listening || Only an omniscient observer would be privy to the absurdity of Cueball's actions || Cueball freaks out the spies
|}

{| class="wikitable"
|+ Game Theory Matrix of Pascal's Wager
|-
| || God does not exist || God exists 
|-
| Atheism || Null outcome || Hell 
|-
| Faith || Wasted effort || Heaven 
|}

==Transcript==
:[Caption above the two panels of the comic:]
:Now and then, I announce "I know you're listening" to empty rooms.

:[Cueball is sitting in an armchair, reading. He murmurs something unreadable.]

:[A second Cueball-like surveillance man with headphones seems to have gotten up from his office chair so fast that is has fallen over and lies behind him. He is now standing in front of a large computer terminal with two screens. He can hear Cueball's mumble as it is shown as coming from one of the screens. The surveillance man is leaning back away from the terminal while holding a hand to his headphones.]

:[Caption below the panels:]
:If I'm wrong, no one knows. And if I'm right, maybe I just freaked the hell out of some secret organization.

==Trivia==
*This comic has a clear resemblance to the [[:Category:My Hobby|My Hobby]] series. This would also make it clear that the Cueball in this comic is actually [[Randall]].
*10 years later, Randall made a similar comic: [[2203: Prescience]].
*See also [[628: Psychic]] for similar guess work to make you look cool.

{{comic discussion}}

[[Category:Comics featuring Cueball]]
[[Category:Multiple Cueballs]]

3094: Mass Spec

2025-06-29T20:49:13Z

Whoop whoop pull up: /* Explanation */

{{comic
| number = 3094
| date = May 26, 2025
| title = Mass Spec
| image = mass_spec_2x.png
| imagesize = 407x253px
| noexpand = true
| titletext = Patients at least found it to be an improvement over Millikan's incredibly messy and unpleasant oil drop suspension procedure.
}}

==Explanation==
The domestic bathroom scale (initially a form of {{w|spring scale}}) was only introduced to US customers in the early 1920s. Although means to ascertain the weight of the human body existed before the 1920s{{cn}}, they were not in common use and were not thought necessary in routine physical and medical examinations. The joke in this comic arises from the claim that, before the invention of the "modern" bathroom scale, human body weights needed to be obtained, not by the earlier, less convenient, forms of scale technology which were actually used, but by absurd, Rube Goldberg-esque, implementations of {{w|Mass_spectrometry|mass spectrometry}}.

Mass spectrometry, a late 19th-century invention (thus, available only a few decades earlier than the bathroom scale), was developed to obtain the masses of atomic particles by ascertaining their mass-to-charge ratios. The basic steps, as represented in the comic, are ionization of the mass (rubbing the scalp with the balloon), separating the resulting particles on the basis of their mass-to-charge ratio by firing them through a magnetic field (jumping past the magnet), and observing the resulting amount of path deflection on a detector (the target). Since the ionization procedure for ''bona fide'' mass-spectrometry assays involves turning the mass to be analyzed into a gas, the method would quickly be recognized as unsuited for obtaining human body weights, especially over the course of a dieting program, and become unpopular{{cn}}. There are other ionization techniques to transfer larger compounds intact into the gas phase, but a human body would be way too heavy to be analyzable by this technique.

The title text compares the mass-spectrometry-based method for obtaining human body weights with the method based on the {{w|Oil_drop_experiment|Milliken-Fletcher procedure}}, also available only a few years prior to bathroom scales, in which the mass to be analyzed takes the form of atomized oil droplets that are ionized by X-rays. Neither is suited for weight measurements over time scales of any length, but the cleanup procedures for a human body converted into ionized gas are certainly less onerous than those for a similar mass converted into an oil spray. The original procedure was intended to determine the mass of an electron, based on the known mass/density of the oil droplets. The title text seems to imply the converse, determining the mass/density of a person based on the (now) known mass of an electron.

==Transcript==

:[Ponytail, wearing a lab coat, is giving a balloon to Cueball. Behind Cueball, there is a ramp on the ground, a magnet hanging from the ceiling, and a target on a poster on the wall.]
:Ponytail: Rub this balloon against your head, then go jump past that magnet toward the target on the wall.

:[Caption below the panel:]
:Before the bathroom scale was invented, the only way to weigh people was mass spectrometry.

==Trivia==
In the comic, Randall uses the correct term "mass spectro'''metry'''". The term "mass spectro'''scopy'''" was used in the beginnings of the technique but is not used anymore. Today, a spectroscopy method entails the interaction of matter with electromagnetic radiation (e.g. IR light — as in IR spectroscopy or radio waves — as in NMR spectroscopy, nuclear magnetic resonance spectroscopy). In the case of mass spectrometry, this is not the case, as ions are manipulated or interacting with static electric and magnetic fields and thereby the mass-to-charge ratio is determined. Both "spectrometry" and "spectroscopy" allude to a "spectrum" of possible results that can be used to quantify and qualify any inputs being measured, and a distribution of molecular weights ''can'' be usefully represented in a rainbow-like visual, but doesn't bear any direct relation with the electromagnetic spectrum, hence the technical name difference. People "in the trade" often abbreviate it as "mass spec", which could stand for either term.

{{comic discussion}}<noinclude>
[[Category:Comics featuring Ponytail]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Cueball]]
[[Category:Physics]]

3081: PhD Timeline

2025-06-29T19:39:19Z

Whoop whoop pull up: /* Explanation */

{{comic
| number = 3081
| date = April 25, 2025
| title = PhD Timeline
| image = phd_timeline_2x.png
| imagesize = 382x516px
| noexpand = true
| titletext = Rümeysa Öztürk was grabbed off the street in my town one month ago.
}}
Clicking on the image on [https://xkcd.com xkcd.com] takes you to ''[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JyypeEEOklM Surveillance video shows Tufts University student Rumeysa Ozturk apprehended in Somerville, MA]'' on YouTube.

==Explanation==
{{incomplete|You might want to {{w|Detention of Rümeysa Öztürk|copy text over from the Wikipedia page}}, but keep in mind this wiki's main goal is to explain the comic. Don't remove this notice too soon.}}

This comic presents a typical {{w|Doctor of Philosophy}} (Ph.D.) timeline, with a twist. Typically a Ph.D. is broken into a number of steps, from enrollment through to thesis defense. However, in this case, the timeline takes an unexpected turn when, instead of publishing the thesis, the candidate is detained by masked government agents. While this may seem like an unlikely event, it {{w|detention of Rümeysa Öztürk|happened to Rümeysa Öztürk}}, a Turkish Ph.D. student at Tufts University (see this [https://www.tuftsdaily.com/article/2025/04/tufts-democrats-and-tufts-republicans-release-joint-statement-condemning-detainment-of-rumeysa-ozutrk statement]) who was abruptly detained by six masked {{w|U.S. Immigration and Customs Enforcement}} (ICE) agents in Somerville, MA while walking to an {{w|iftar}} dinner. Subsequently, she was transported to Vermont and then to a detention facility in Louisiana before a [https://www.tuftsdaily.com/article/2025/04/louisiana-judge-denies-bond-to-rumeysa-ozturk-while-vermont-judge-considers-jurisdiction accessed court ordered] that she not be removed from Massachusetts

The reason given for her detention was that her {{w|F visa|F-1 student visa}} was revoked due to, according to a Department of Homeland Security [https://www.salon.com/2025/03/26/dhs-detains-grad-student-advocated-for-palestine-and-the-humanity-of-all-people/ spokeswoman], her alleged activities in support of the foreign terrorist organization {{w|Hamas}} on the campus of Tufts. Aside from her being co-author of an [https://www.tuftsdaily.com/article/2024/03/4ftk27sm6jkj article in a student newspaper] which was critical of her university's response towards protests against the ongoing {{w|Gaza genocide}}, no evidence of support for Hamas has been provided. Ordinarily, revocation of a visa is not, of itself, [https://oiss.washu.edu/visa-status-stamps/ grounds for detention]; that would merely prevent one from reentering the country if one left.

At the time of this comic's publication, the US government had recently canceled the visas of over 1,000 foreign students and scholars. This was done with minimal or no explanation and no warning, however the U.S. government claims that it can cancel a visa if the subject's activities are harmful to U.S. foreign policy interests.

The title text specifically refers to Rümeysa Öztürk, and that all this happened in Somerville, Massachusetts, where [[Randall Munroe]] lives.

==Transcript==
:[A chart shows the typical events in a research program. At the top there is a dotted line. There is a title above the line and the line is labeled with text in the middle breaking the line:]
:US PH.D. PROGRAM TIMELINE
:–––––––ENROLLMENT–––––––––

:[The dotted line aligns with the top of an Y-axis with 7 ticks, the top tick on level with the dotted line. There are seven labels from top towards the bottom, not written near specifik ticks, and with uneven distance. Between each of the labels there is an arrow from the one above pointing the the next. To the right of the first five labels there is a split up rectangle, that are closed at the top , but open at the bottom. Down through the middle part it is split up in two along a kind of S-shape going a bit up from left to right. There is a gab between the top and bottom part of this figure along this s-shape. Both top and bottom part has a label. All text and other parts of the comic has been in black until this. But the last two labels near the Y-axis beneath where the rectangular figure stops, which are still written in black, have been crossed out with red squiggly lines, both the two small arrows and the text. From the label above those crossed out, there goes a red arrow down and then to the right. This point to another red label next to and right of the first of the two that has been crossed out. From beneath this another red arrow point to a second red label, next to the the last of the two that was crossed out. A third red arrow goes beneath this to a final red label.]
:Meet with Advisor
:Research Proposal
:Qualifying Exams
:Purpose Dissertation
:Research and Write dissertation

:[The above is the labels near the rectangular figure to the right with the following labels:]
:Coursework
:Research

:[The final two labels that have been crossed out with red lines:]
:Submit dissertation
:Defend dissertation

:[The new labels written to the right with red:]
:Get grabbed off the sidewalk outside of your home by masked government agents
:Be whisked out of the state before a judge has time to intervene
:????

==Trivia==
This is the second comic referring to what is happening in the US after [[Donald Trump]] became president. The first comic was [[3073: Tariffs]].

{{comic discussion}}

[[Category:Comics with color]]
[[Category:Comics with red annotations]]
[[Category:Charts]]
[[Category:Comics featuring real people]] 
[[Category:Politics]]

3081: PhD Timeline

2025-06-29T19:38:59Z

Whoop whoop pull up: /* Explanation */

{{comic
| number = 3081
| date = April 25, 2025
| title = PhD Timeline
| image = phd_timeline_2x.png
| imagesize = 382x516px
| noexpand = true
| titletext = Rümeysa Öztürk was grabbed off the street in my town one month ago.
}}
Clicking on the image on [https://xkcd.com xkcd.com] takes you to ''[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JyypeEEOklM Surveillance video shows Tufts University student Rumeysa Ozturk apprehended in Somerville, MA]'' on YouTube.

==Explanation==
{{incomplete|You might want to {{w|Detention of Rümeysa Öztürk|copy text over from the Wikipedia page}}, but keep in mind this wiki's main goal is to explain the comic. Don't remove this notice too soon.}}

This comic presents a typical {{w|Doctor of Philosophy}} (Ph.D.) timeline, with a twist. Typically a Ph.D. is broken into a number of steps, from enrollment through to thesis defense. However, in this case, the timeline takes an unexpected turn when, instead of publishing the thesis, the candidate is detained by masked government agents. While this may seem like an unlikely event, it {{w|detention of Rümeysa Öztürk|happened to Rümeysa Öztürk}}, a Turkish Ph.D. student at Tufts University (see this [https://www.tuftsdaily.com/article/2025/04/tufts-democrats-and-tufts-republicans-release-joint-statement-condemning-detainment-of-rumeysa-ozutrk statement]) who was abruptly detained by six masked {{w|U.S. Immigration and Customs Enforcement}} (ICE) agents in Somerville, MA while walking to an {{w|iftar}} dinner. Subsequently, she was transported to Vermont and then to a detention facility in Louisiana before a [https://www.tuftsdaily.com/article/2025/04/louisiana-judge-denies-bond-to-rumeysa-ozturk-while-vermont-judge-considers-jurisdiction accessed court ordered] that she not be removed from Massachusetts

The reason given for her detention was that her {{w|F visa|F-1 student visa}} was revoked due to, according to a Department of Homeland Security [https://www.salon.com/2025/03/26/dhs-detains-grad-student-advocated-for-palestine-and-the-humanity-of-all-people/ spokeswoman], her alleged activities in support of the foreign terrorist organization {{w|Hamas}} on the campus of Tufts. Aside from her being co-author of an [https://www.tuftsdaily.com/article/2024/03/4ftk27sm6jkj article in a student newspaper] which was critical of her university's response towards protests against the ongoing {{w|Gaza genocide}}, no evidence of support for Hamas has been provided. Ordinarily, revocation of a visa is not, of itself, [https://oiss.washu.edu/visa-status-stamps/ grounds for detention]; that would merely prevent one from reentering the country if one left.

At the time of this comic's publication, the US government had recently canceled the visas of over 1,000 foreign students and scholars. This was done with minimal or no explanation and no warning, however the U.S. government claims that it can cancel a visa if the subject's activities are harmful to U.S. foreign policy interests.

The title text specifically refers to Rümeysa Öztürkz, and that all this happened in Somerville, Massachusetts, where [[Randall Munroe]] lives.

==Transcript==
:[A chart shows the typical events in a research program. At the top there is a dotted line. There is a title above the line and the line is labeled with text in the middle breaking the line:]
:US PH.D. PROGRAM TIMELINE
:–––––––ENROLLMENT–––––––––

:[The dotted line aligns with the top of an Y-axis with 7 ticks, the top tick on level with the dotted line. There are seven labels from top towards the bottom, not written near specifik ticks, and with uneven distance. Between each of the labels there is an arrow from the one above pointing the the next. To the right of the first five labels there is a split up rectangle, that are closed at the top , but open at the bottom. Down through the middle part it is split up in two along a kind of S-shape going a bit up from left to right. There is a gab between the top and bottom part of this figure along this s-shape. Both top and bottom part has a label. All text and other parts of the comic has been in black until this. But the last two labels near the Y-axis beneath where the rectangular figure stops, which are still written in black, have been crossed out with red squiggly lines, both the two small arrows and the text. From the label above those crossed out, there goes a red arrow down and then to the right. This point to another red label next to and right of the first of the two that has been crossed out. From beneath this another red arrow point to a second red label, next to the the last of the two that was crossed out. A third red arrow goes beneath this to a final red label.]
:Meet with Advisor
:Research Proposal
:Qualifying Exams
:Purpose Dissertation
:Research and Write dissertation

:[The above is the labels near the rectangular figure to the right with the following labels:]
:Coursework
:Research

:[The final two labels that have been crossed out with red lines:]
:Submit dissertation
:Defend dissertation

:[The new labels written to the right with red:]
:Get grabbed off the sidewalk outside of your home by masked government agents
:Be whisked out of the state before a judge has time to intervene
:????

==Trivia==
This is the second comic referring to what is happening in the US after [[Donald Trump]] became president. The first comic was [[3073: Tariffs]].

{{comic discussion}}

[[Category:Comics with color]]
[[Category:Comics with red annotations]]
[[Category:Charts]]
[[Category:Comics featuring real people]] 
[[Category:Politics]]

1727: Number of Computers

2025-06-29T19:00:53Z

Whoop whoop pull up: /* Explanation */

{{comic
| number = 1727
| date = August 31, 2016
| title = Number of Computers
| image = number_of_computers.png
| titletext = They try to pad their numbers in the annual reports by counting Galileo's redundant systems as multiple computers, but they're falling behind badly either way.
}}

==Explanation==
This comic shows a {{w|semi-log plot}} with two red lines. The first line shows the increasing rate that {{w|computers}} have been created since the first came around in the 1940s. The graph shows this to occur around 1946. ({{w|Computer#First_computing_device|The precise date can be discussed}} but it was {{w|Computer#Digital_computers|around that time}} that the concept began to be applied to real working machines.) After the first computer, the number of computers created is shown to increase in a roughly straight line, indicating {{w|exponential growth}}. At the time of this comic's release in 2016, the curve has passed 10 billion computers, and its projection into the 2020s predicts that the number of computers will keep rising exponentially for at least 10 years to come.

The other plot on this graph represents all the computers destroyed by throwing them into {{w|Jupiter}}. So far this is only true for the computers on two [[:Category:Space probes|space probes]]: those on the {{w|Galileo (spacecraft)|Galileo orbiter}} and its {{w|Galileo Probe|probe}}. The latter's mission was to fly into Jupiter so it went first in 1995; the orbiter went only after it had completed its mission in 2003. That constitutes the first two steps on the graph.

Recently the {{w|Juno (spacecraft)|Juno space probe}} entered into orbit (as only the second after Galileo), and that was celebrated with [[1703: Juno]] on xkcd. Juno's main mission has hardly begun yet; as at the time of this comic's release, it is not even in its final orbit. But once its mission is completed, it will also crash into Jupiter thus destroying a third computer. This is shown as the third step, but this section is shown with a dotted line, as the destruction may still fail if {{w|NASA}} loses contact with the probe before giving it the order to {{w|deorbit}} into Jupiter. This is now scheduled to occur in 2025. All three steps on the graph fits with these years. (Note the number of computers created is not drawn with a dotted line into the future, probably because [[Randall]] believes this continued increase in numbers of computers to be quite certain over the next 10-20 years, whereas the outcome of a space probe mission is never certain, even when the probe is already in orbit and only 1½ years before scheduled deorbit!)

Space probes sent to Jupiter are typically scheduled to deorbit and fall into Jupiter's atmosphere. There can be several reasons for this, but one very important reason is to avoid {{w|Interplanetary contamination|contaminating}} {{w|Moons of Jupiter|Jupiter's moons}} with Earth {{w|pathogens}}, especially the four {{w|Galilean moons}} including {{w|Europa (moon)|Europa}} which {{w|Juno_(spacecraft)#Deorbit_and_disintegration|may harbor life}}. Also the huge [[681|gravity well]] of Jupiter that would have to be overcome for such a probe to leave the planet again makes it very difficult to have an orbiting probe return to Earth with samples.

The caption below the comic humorously implies that NASA's reasons for causing the probes to deorbit into Jupiter is merely an attempt to destroy all the computers of the world. The caption notes that they are failing horribly, given that they have destroyed only three computers out of more than 10 billion. However, due to the semi-log scale, those three computers appear to have more significance than they actually have. The caption states that NASA really needs to pick up the pace (having only destroyed two since the 1940s, when computers were created), if they wish to actually finish the job of destroying all computers by hurling them into Jupiter. In addition, seeing as there have been many computers destroyed by other means, NASA will never actually catch up, no matter how hard they try, making this statistic even more irrelevant.

Destroying unwanted objects by hurling them into Jupiter pokes fun at the common science fiction trope of destroying objects by hurling them into the Sun [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/HurlItIntoTheSun]. Hurling objects into the Sun is in fact extremely difficult because of the need to cancel out the orbital velocity of the earth. Randall may be referencing calculations ([https://qntm.org/destroy#sec3], see item 11) that show that hurling items into Jupiter requires 38% less energy than hurling them into the Sun.

The title text continues the caption by mentioning that in NASA's annual reports they try to make their numbers look better by counting the redundant computer systems on Galileo and its probe, thus doubling the numbers of destroyed computers to four. This of course makes no big difference given the exponential growth of computer production, which is also noted. This indicates that this is a top priority for NASA. That NASA might try to make themselves look better in a report by doubling a number could be realistic, presumably for political reasons or to get better funding.

==Transcript==
:[A graph with two red lines. The X-axis is a time-line with eight ticks with every second tick labeled below the axis, ranging from around 1940 to 2030. The Y-axis is a logarithmic count ranging from 1 to 1 billion. There are 12 ticks with the first and then every third tick after that larger than the two ticks in between. All the large ticks are labeled, but only the first two of the small ticks are similarly labeled. Labels are written to the left of the axis. All labels on both axes are written in gray. The first red line is a straight line (thus exponentially growing), starting close to the bottom left corner eventually reaching the upper right edge of the graph. The other red line begins around 1990 and has three straight steps. Each step is labeled with gray text, the last part of the line (after the present 2016), is dotted. Both of the red lines have an arrow pointing to them with a label above the arrow.]
:Left red line: Number of computers created
:Right red line: Number of computers destroyed by hurling them into Jupiter
:Labels on right red line:
::Galileo probe
::Galileo orbiter
::Juno (scheduled)
:Y-axis:
::1 billion
::1 million
::1,000
::100
::10
::1
:X-axis: 1960 1980 2000 2020

:[Caption below the panel:]
:NASA needs to pick up the pace if they ever want to finish the job.

{{comic discussion}}

[[Category:Comics with color]]
[[Category:Line graphs]]
[[Category:Timelines]]
[[Category:Space probes]]
[[Category:Computers]]

1895: Worrying Scientist Interviews

2025-06-29T18:39:24Z

Whoop whoop pull up: /* The fields of science */

{{comic
| number = 1895
| date = September 27, 2017
| title = Worrying Scientist Interviews
| image = worrying_scientist_interviews.png
| titletext = They always try to explain that they're called 'solar physicists', but the reporters interrupt with "NEVER MIND THAT, TELL US WHAT'S WRONG WITH THE SUN!"
}}

==Explanation==
"Breaking news" is a phrase which describes news reports which are considered important enough to interrupt (or "break") scheduled broadcasts. The phrase is also often used to describe scheduled reports on important current events. When a new development in an active story occurs, news channels will often interview an expert in the field to educate laymen in what, exactly, is happening. Thus, when you turn on the local news and see a scientist being interviewed, it is likely that something new has come up regarding their field of study that could affect you.

How much it affects you could range from an interesting bit of information about your local area, to the complete annihilation of the human race. So, to help identify how serious the issue likely is, [[Randall]] has made this chart showing how worried you should be depending on the field of the scientist. A [[#The fields of science|table]] has been arranged to explain the amount of worry needed for each field below.

To the far left, the least worrying are {{w|archaeologist}} and {{w|economist}}. An archaeologist studies ancient human civilizations, which would be unlikely to harm any modern person. Economists study and explain the trends of finances and resources, which are also unlikely to pose an immediate threat.{{Citation needed}}

Following this, it shows {{w|Nutrition|nutritionists}} and eventually {{w|criminologists}}. A nutritionist studies nutrition in the human body, and is likely discussing which food options are healthy or unhealthy. While this may be important, it is not a cause for immediate concern. A criminologist, however, studies criminal behavior. If a criminologist is being interviewed on the news, there is likely a change in criminal actions within the neighborhood, be it more or less. It is also possible there may be a serial criminal working in the area. However, because crime is a relatively rare occurrence, and one for which precautions can be taken, it is still unlikely to be an immediate threat to the viewer.

It then moves past researchers studying different types of organisms, before reaching astronomers. Still only very few events would be local regarding astronomy, but it could of course be regarding a pending meteor strike.

A {{w|virologist}} studies {{w|Virus|viral}} infections and their spread, and a {{w|vulcanologist}} studies {{w|volcanoes}}. Viruses spread quickly, and can be fatal, meaning a breaking news development in one's locale regarding viruses is likely to mean imminent danger. Volcanoes, depending on their size, can potentially demolish entire countries, thus having one making headlines nearby is also very concerning.

The last point to the right (most worried) "Astronomer who studies the Sun", also called a "{{w|solar physicist}}" (mentioned in the title text), could be really troublesome, but not especially locally. If there are serious problems with the Sun it will be a world-wide problem. But you should still be worried.

The title text mentions that the reason they are not called solar physicists, is that before they can tell the reporter this, they are interrupted by the anxious reporter who wishes to know what's wrong with the Sun. This is not really something that happens so often{{Citation needed}} that the title texts "They always try" has any real meaning. And this is also why no one knows or uses the term solar physicists...

==The fields of science==
{| class="wikitable"
|-
! Field !! Worry level !! Explanation
|-
| Archeologist || Extremely low (~2.7%) || Likely just dug up some old ruins or bones. Unlikely to involve bad news, though it may possibly cause problems (e.g. if a construction project is delayed to accommodate an archaeological investigation).
|-
| Economist || Very low (~7.3%) || News about the economy could be either good or bad, and in most cases is just more of the usual ups and downs rather than anything cataclysmic. Could also be a report on a big stock market crash.
|-
| Nutritionist || Very low (~12.0%) || Possible fad diet. Note that nutritionists tend not to be a protected profession, compared to dietitians. May be alarming if it involves credible information about bad health consequences of eating, or not eating, a particular food.
|-
| Criminologist || Low (~26.6%) || Probably just crime statistics. Sometimes just correcting people who mistakenly believe crime is on the rise, and even a large increase in an otherwise ordinary crime rate is still a small risk overall. Specific threats (such as a dangerous criminal on the loose) are usually addressed by police representatives.
|-
| Ornithologist || Medium (~43.3%) || This would indicate the discovery of a strange behavior exhibited by birds. A newsworthy event involving ornithologists could indicate some imminent problem with the ecological environment, such as a mass migration or death event suggesting toxic pollutants in the environment. A possible reference to ''{{w|The_Birds_(film)|The Birds}}'' or ''{{w|Birdemic}}'', two films with similar premises (horror films centered around flocks of birds suddenly becoming hostile to humans) but vastly different critical evaluations (''The Birds'' was directed by {{w|Alfred Hitchcock}} and is generally considered a classic; ''Birdemic'' was low-budget and is notoriously poor-quality).
|-
| Botanist || Medium (~46.0%) || Similar to an ornithological related news. Seeing how plants are both more fundamental to the environment and more "boring" to the general public than birds; if something news worthy involves a botanist, then it is more likely a more fundamental and more impactful change to the environment.
|-
| Marine Biologist || Medium (~53.3%) || Similar to Botanist news. However, as oceans represent the substantial majority of the Earth's surface, and are very far removed from local concerns, anything which is news-worthy of them is likely a major impact to the environment on a global scale.
|-
| Entomologist || Medium high (~62.6%) || There might be a new invasive insect species that could cause health concerns, ranging from {{w|Locust|famine}} to {{w|Mosquito|blood-transmitted diseases}}.
|-
| Astronomer || High (~82.0%) || Possible inbound meteor, or perhaps sighting of incoming alien ships.
|-
| Virologist || Very high (~88.0%) || A disease that is incurable and spreads fast might ravage or even destroy a city, country, or (in an extreme case) all human life. Slightly over two years after this comic's release, an example of a worrisome virus appeared in the form of {{w|COVID-19}},{{Citation needed}} which resulted in many interviews with epidemiologists.
|-
| Vulcanologist || Very high (~93.3%) || A volcano might erupt soon, the danger of which could range from an isolated area to a planetwide concern.
|-
| Astronomer who studies the Sun || Extremely high (~98.6%) || There might be something wrong with the Sun, the consequences of which could range from {{w|Solar_storm_of_1859|major disruption of modern technology}} to the end of life on earth. The title text elaborates that, [[1475: Technically|technically]], the correct term is "{{w|Solar physics|solar physicist}}". Unsurprisingly, reporters (and the general audience) aren't particularly interested in such a pedantic matter, and want to be informed about the more pressing issue regarding the fiery ball that maintains the Earth's orbit and capacity for life.{{Citation needed}}
|}

==Transcript==
:[A chart consisting of a line with double arrows that has 12 dots progressing from left to right. Each dot has a line going to a label above or below the line. Above the labels is another label belonging to an arrow to its right that points right. Above this is a larger caption:]
:<big>How worried you should be if you see local reporters interviewing scientists about a breaking news story, by field: </big>
:More worried --->

:[The chart shows the following titles left to right (least to most worrisome), some above and some below the line however that doesn't affect their relative positions. They are listed here in ascending worrisomeness for ease of viewing.]
:Archeologist
:Economist
:Nutritionist
:Criminologist
:Ornithologist
:Botanist
:Marine biologist
:Entomologist
:Astronomer
:Virologist
:Vulcanologist
:Astronomer who studies the sun

{{comic discussion}}

[[Category:Charts]]
[[Category:Science]]
[[Category:Geography]]
[[Category:Astronomy]]
[[Category:Volcanoes]]

3107: Weather Balloons

2025-06-29T15:30:50Z

Whoop whoop pull up: /* Explanation */

{{comic
| number = 3107
| date = June 25, 2025
| title = Weather Balloons
| image = weather_balloons_2x.png
| imagesize = 547x351px
| noexpand = true
| titletext = Once you add the balloons into the model, it makes forecasting easier overall--the forecast is always 'cold and dark, with minimal solar-driven convection.'
}}

==Explanation==
{{incomplete|This page was created by a METEOROLOGIST BOT WITH A FEAR OF PRE-COPULATORY SEXUAL CANNIBALISM. Don't remove this notice too soon.}}
A {{w|weather balloon}} is a balloon that carries {{w|meteorology|meteorological}} instruments into the high atmosphere and sends readings back to scientists, who use the information to make weather and climate predictions. Typically it will rise up until the difference between the pressure inside the balloon and that outside gets too great, and the membrane breaks and the fragments of balloon fall back down. This is why the graph plots the number of balloons launched each day, rather than overall, since most balloons launched on one day would be gone from the sky the next day.

The chart in the comic claims that weather forecasting accuracy correlates with the number of weather balloons launched each day, with accuracy increasing fast at first, followed by diminishing returns as the number of launches increases. However, it forecasts that if the rate of balloon launches is sufficiently high, it could provide so many balloons that they actually impact the weather by blocking out sunlight. If the balloons are not included in the weather model, the accuracy of the model based on the readings provided by the many balloons decreases. This starts to happen somewhere between 100 billion to 1 trillion weather balloons launched each day. The accuracy of the model drops completely towards zero for around 10 trillion launched each day, where it even falls below the accuracy for just a single balloon (which may or may not be augmented by non-balloon information) at the start of the graph.

While the number of weather balloon launches impacts weather model accuracy, it's not the only factor. Ground stations have been collecting and collating useful surface data for centuries. Scientific understanding of the physical processes in the atmosphere has also improved, only in part due to balloons, and the speed of computers used in analyses and simulations has increased by many orders of magnitude. The existence of weather and geophysical satellites also significantly improves forecasts, as they can continuously gain information about clouds and temperatures over huge areas, while weather balloons capture information as they rise through only a single air-column for a limited duration.

The surface area of the Earth is around 510 {{w|Trillion|(short-scale) trillion}} square meters, and a typical weather balloon (while smaller at launch) will expand to approximately 6 m diameter at altitude; this covers an area slightly under 30 m², within a just marginally larger 'air surface area' at height. This makes it entirely possible to blanket the whole Earth with around 18 trillion standard weather balloons - or possibly even fewer, given the current availability of larger balloon models each more than twice the width, or four times the area. This isn't far off the implications given by the graph. On the other hand, the inherent translucency of the balloon material, the tendency of the balloons to jostle vertically (the illustration implying that it's not just a single layer of close-packed balloons), and the need to synchronize launches and ascents to try to form an optimal single layer, might make complete coverage difficult to accomplish without a slightly greater number of launches. Alternatively, roughly doubling this coverage could be achieved by launching when the balloons will end up in the sunlit hemisphere at any given time.

The joke in the title text is that when there are so many balloons that sunlight is entirely blocked, weather will always be the same - dark and cold - so we won't need complex models to forecast it. Also, when there is no heating of the Earth's surface, the solar-driven convection that drives storms and weather patterns would stop. Of course, plants and algae would start to die out, followed shortly by humans and most other life on Earth. However, assuming that the balloons are being launched by humans, the number of them that it would be possible to launch would fall as the population and social structures began to collapse, mitigating the impact on the weather. The pollution from the trillions of balloons would last for longer, but wouldn't prevent sunlight from reaching the Earth's surface.

==Transcript==
{{incomplete transcript|Don't remove this notice too soon.}}

[A graph is shown. The X axis is labeled Number of Weather Balloon Launches Per Day. It's logarithmic, with ticks in powers of 10, and values shown at 1, 10, 100, 1,000, 1 million, 1 billion, and 1 trillion. The Y axis is labeled Weather Model Accuracy, no values are shown. The plot starts above the mark for 1 balloon, at about 40% of the maximum value of the curve, it quickly rises through a point labelled "Current Rate", at about 4000 launches per day and 85% of the maximum. The maximum value is reached at 100 million, plateaus until 10 billion, and then reduces even more rapidly down to perhaps 15% maximum accuracy above the 10 trillion mark.]

{{comic discussion}}<noinclude>

[[Category:Line graphs]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Cueball]]
[[Category:Weather]]

1851: Magnetohydrodynamics

2025-06-29T15:20:59Z

Whoop whoop pull up: /* Trivia */

{{comic
| number = 1851
| date = June 16, 2017
| title = Magnetohydrodynamics
| image = magnetohydrodynamics.png
| titletext = Magnetohydrodynamics combines the intuitive nature of Maxwell's equations with the easy solvability of the Navier-Stokes equations. It's so straightforward physicists add "relativistic" or "quantum" just to keep it from getting boring.
}}

==Explanation==

In this comic, [[Ponytail]] explains to [[Cueball]] that the Sun's atmosphere is a super hot {{w|Plasma (physics)|plasma}} controlled by "{{w|magnetohydrodynamics}}" (a real word), the study of magnetic properties of electrically conducting fluids. This is true, as plasma is both electrically charged (following the laws of electrodynamics) and a fluid (following the laws of hydrodynamics). However, the combination is so difficult for Cueball that he finds it easier to comprehend any statements containing the word "magnetohydrodynamic" by dropping the central part of the word ("netohydrodynam"). Thus, he pretends that Ponytail instead said "The Sun's atmosphere is a superhot plasma governed by ''magic'' forces". If Cueball really thinks that magic is more comprehensible than magnetohydrodynamics, then considering just how vaguely and inconsistently magic is portrayed across fiction, that must mean that magnetohydrodynamics is really, ''really'' hard!{{Citation needed}}

In the title text, [[Randall]] riffs on the nature of two different types of equations. It suggests that {{w|Maxwell's equations}} are intuitive (this is not how they are considered) and that {{w|Navier–Stokes equations}} are trivial to solve (also far from true, being a {{w|Millennium Prize Problems|prizeworthy problem}}). The suggestion being that magnetohydrodynamics is both intuitive and comes with easy solutions (based upon the other assertions, one can safely assume that the chances of such are low). But physicists, it is purported, like to 'spice up' anything that is too mundane, with words commonly encountered when discussing {{w|quantum mechanics}} and the {{w|theory of relativity}}. This also leaves us with the possibility that even these two fields are littered with the buzzwords we all know and love just to make them 'seem less boring than they are'.

==Transcript==
:[Ponytail holding her hands up is facing Cueball and Megan .]
:Ponytail: The Sun's atmosphere is a superhot plasma governed by magnetohydrodynamic forces...
:Cueball: Ah, yes, of course.

:[Caption below the panel:]
:Whenever I hear the word "magnetohydrodynamic" my brain just replaces it with "magic."

==Trivia==
In the title text, "Magnetohydrodynamics" was misspelled as "Magnetohydrody'''an'''mics". This was later fixed.

{{comic discussion}}

[[Category:Comics featuring Ponytail]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Cueball]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Megan]]
[[Category:Physics]]
[[Category:Comics edited after their publication]]

950: Mystery Solved

2025-06-29T03:45:11Z

Whoop whoop pull up: /* Explanation */

{{comic
| number = 950
| date = September 12, 2011
| title = Mystery Solved
| image = mystery_solved.png
| titletext = The Roanoke Lost Colonists founded Roanoke, the Franklin Expedition reached the Pacific in 2009 when the Northwest Passage opened, and Jimmy Hoffa currently heads the Teamsters Union--he just started going by 'James'.
}}

==Explanation==
In this comic, aviation pioneer {{w|Amelia Earhart}}'s plane comes back to land after it went missing in 1937. It was presumed that Earhart was dead and that her plane went down into the ocean at some point during her journey, although various alternate theories have arisen since then, with no clear answer to the mystery. However, this comic proposes a much simpler explanation: there was no disappearance, it just took her 74 years to fly around the Earth. This explanation is simple, but impossible.

Earhart seems to think the person she is talking with is stupid for not comprehending such a simple answer, but in fact her explanation raises a multitude of other questions. Among them:
* How did it take so long for her to land? (She answers that the world is big, but it isn't so big that it takes 74 years to fly around it, even with 1937 technology. {{Citation needed}} Earhart had already completed the majority of her journey before disappearing, and had "only" to cross the Pacific Ocean -- with stops in Howland Island and Hawaii -- before returning to her point of origin in Oakland, California. Had her flight succeeded, she could have completed it within three days of when she was last seen.)
* How did she survive that long, apparently without aging?
* Why didn't her plane fall apart (as even one year of continuous flight would have induced considerable depreciation (wear and tear) on many of the plane's mechanical components, and Amelia Earhart could not have repaired the plane while flying it){{Citation needed}} or run out of fuel?
* Why didn't anyone else see her on her journey or at least detect her with radar?
* Why doesn't she know that a flight shouldn't take 74 years?

Another possibility is that she did not just fly around the earth, but flew very fast (near {{w|light speed}}) for 74 non-subjective years to return {{w|Twin paradox|without having aged much}}. However, this would not explain why she thinks it is a long trip around the earth, and it raises the additional questions of how she would accomplish this feat in a {{w|Lockheed Model 10 Electra|twin-engine monoplane}} and how no one else noticed any signs of her plane traveling near light speed, such as a 74-year-long sonic boom.

Earhart's disappearance gave birth to many conspiracy theories. One of these, which was explored in the TV series [http://memory-alpha.wikia.com/wiki/Star_Trek:_Voyager Star Trek: Voyager], involves [http://memory-alpha.wikia.com/wiki/The_37%27s_(episode) her being abducted] to another [http://memory-alpha.wikia.com/wiki/Delta_Quadrant part of the galaxy], where she was left in cryogenic stasis until found by the Voyager crew. Something similar could be the case here, having Earhart frozen by aliens until 2011.

The title text lists a few more deceptively mundane answers to long-unsolved mysteries that at first seem to dispel the questions with boring logic, but in fact raise more questions than they answer. The first is the lost colonists of {{w|Roanoke Colony|Roanoke}}, who were one of the first groups to come to North America, but then suddenly disappeared, leaving their colony untouched. The comic suggests that they simply left to found {{w|Roanoke, Virginia}}. Like all the other explanations in this comic, this doesn't explain how this simple solution became lost to public knowledge. It also doesn't explain why they abandoned their original colony, or how they made it to Roanoke, Virginia, which is more than 300 miles away, or where they were between when their colony was found abandoned in 1590 and when the future Roanoke, Virginia, was established over 200 years later, in the nineteenth century.

The second mystery in the title text, the {{w|Franklin's lost expedition|Franklin Expedition}}, was a British voyage in 1845 to study the {{w|Northwest Passage}} that also disappeared, somewhere in northern Canada. The text suggests that the expedition wasn't lost; it was still exploring and eventually found its way to the Pacific Ocean in 2009. This is impossible, because the men on the expedition would be long dead. As a side note, both of the Franklin Expedition ships were eventually found wrecked in the years after this comic was published: [http://www.cbc.ca/news/politics/franklin-expedition-ship-pieces-believed-discovered-in-arctic-1.2759925 one in 2014], and [https://www.theguardian.com/world/2016/sep/12/hms-terror-wreck-found-arctic-nearly-170-years-northwest-passage-attempt the other in 2016].

The final mystery is {{w|Jimmy Hoffa}}, the famous {{w|International Brotherhood of Teamsters|Teamsters Union}} leader who went missing in 1975 and declared dead in 1982 (probably murdered). The comic says Jimmy simply opted to switch to the more formal version of his name; again, this raises the question of how such a thing would be possible without anyone noticing. From 1998-2022, so at the time of this comic's publication, the head of the Teamsters was in fact named {{w|James P. Hoffa|James Hoffa}} (he is Jimmy Hoffa's son and goes by "James P. Hoffa" professionally); the comic could be implying that the senior Hoffa is not only alive but actually impersonating his own son, which would raise the question of why the supposed "son" doesn't look suspiciously older than he claims to be.

==Transcript==
:[A twin prop airplane flies high overhead.]
:Off-screen person: What's that airplane?

:[The plane has landed (shown in gray in the background), and the pilot, wearing an aviator hat and goggles, is walking towards the crowd waving.]
:Off-screen person: Holy crap— Is that Amelia Earhart?

:[A close up of Amelia Earhart waving.]
:Amelia: Hey everyone! My flight was a success!
:Off-screen person: But... Where were you!?

:[A wide view of Amelia, she stops waving.]
:Amelia: I flew around the world!
:Off-screen person: But you disappeared in 1937!

:[A close up of Amelia Earhart.]
:Amelia: Right, to fly around the world.
:Off-screen person: It's 2011!
:Amelia: The world is big. It's a long flight.

:[A wide view of Amelia]
:Off-screen person:
::But you...
::It's not...
::I -
:Amelia: Can I talk to someone smarter?

==Trivia==
This is the first xkcd comic featuring [[Amelia Earhart]].

{{comic discussion}}

[[Category:Comics featuring Amelia Earhart]]
[[Category:Aviation]]

1948: Campaign Fundraising Emails

2025-03-29T01:13:04Z

Whoop whoop pull up: /* Transcript */

{{comic
| number = 1948
| date = January 29, 2018
| title = Campaign Fundraising Emails
| image = campaign_fundraising_emails.png
| titletext = The establishment doesn't take us seriously. You know who else they didn't take seriously? Hitler. I'll be like him, but a GOOD guy instead of…
}}

==Explanation==
Many politicians and organizations in the United States have taken to using email to conduct aggressive fundraising drives seeking campaign contributions. Signing a petition or expressing interest in a cause can lead to being added to a myriad of mailing lists for similar groups, all looking for support. This comic shows a caricature of the kind of inbox that can result from this. The emails get more and more absurd as the list goes on. For example, the last one combines a request for campaign contributions with the infamous 'Nigerian prince' {{w|advance-fee scam}} emails.

{| border =1 width=100% cellpadding=5 class="wikitable"
! E-mail Body !! Explanation
|-
|'''Donate now.''' It's crunch time, and we're low on cash. If you chip in just $5 by midnight, we…
|This is the classic formula for campaign fundraising emails, and may be a real example. It is always "crunch time" during a campaign (at least between filing for candidacy and election day), and campaigns are always "low" on cash relative to the unlimited funding they would prefer. The ends of financial reporting periods, often at midnight, are conflated with "deadlines" of significant consequence. Further, the donation requested is less about the actual money - even if $5 each from several thousand voters can add up - but to get a donor to have their money placed on a candidate, making it more likely that donor will vote for the candidate (via encouraging {{w|Sunk cost#Loss_aversion_and_the_sunk_cost_fallacy|the "sunk cost" fallacy}}), or to allow the targeting of future messages based on how engaged the recipient is with the campaign.
|-
|'''Donate $35.57 now!''' Our data team has determined that we should ask you for $35.57 to optimize the…
|A key factor in the success of a fundraising campaign is the amount of the donation that is asked for or suggested. Even if the donor is ultimately free to donate whatever amount they want, the initial 'ask' can have a significant effect on the amount donated, due to the psychological effect of {{w|Anchoring (cognitive bias)|anchoring}}. Increasing the suggested amount may increase the amount of the average donation, but it may also put some people off donating altogether. Finding the sweet spot allows the fundraiser to maximize the income generated.

Most modern bulk mailing platforms allow users send different versions of their emails to recipients at random. Using analytics packages, they can then determine which version of their messages is most effective at eliciting the desired result (such as making a purchase, reading a story, etc.) from recipients, or even from particular segments, and to refine future emails accordingly. Use of these techniques has resulted in fundraisers moving away from traditional 'round' numbers ($10, $25, etc.) to ask for more unusual looking amounts which increase the average amount donated, either by exploiting {{w|Psychological pricing|such effects}} as the "99 cent" phenomenon or giving those that ask an appearance of 'knowing what they're talking about' to give the potential donor the impression that they're good with details and wouldn't be overwhelmed by the pressures of being in office.

However, it would be unusual to use quite such a precise amount told them, which may actually appear cynical in its attempt to bleed the donor to a maximal amount, and put many off donating altogether. This is rather than at least the pretense to be coming directly from a more optimal and restrained need/capability calculation. The email then compounds this by stating outright that this is what they have done, and entirely sheds any of the veil of it not being calculated ''simply'' to manipulate the recipient (even/especially if it had not been recalculated to differing odd values for each recipient), plus explicitly suggest that someone other than the message author did this so no longer conveys much of any innate confidence and trustworthiness one might have had in the sender themself.
|-
|'''Help.''' Our campaign made some mistakes and we need a lot of money ASAP. Any kind, but cash is…
|This email is honest about the campaign's incompetence, but is not likely to get much sympathy, except perhaps from those already very sympathetic to the candidate. Any campaign reduced to this level has probably already lost. The email appears to be suggesting that they would much prefer that donors send cash, presumably in the mail. This would raise several red flags: it might suggest that the campaign's finances are in such disarray that it cannot process checks, credit cards, etc. in a timely manner, or it might be that they want to keep donations off the books so that they can be diverted elsewhere, or to circumvent electoral spending restrictions. Even if no dishonesty is intended, it would increase the chances that cash could be stolen or otherwise misused more readily than other forms of payment.
|-
|'''Washington is broken.''' When I win, I'll look those other senators in the eye and tell them: "Jobs." Then I…
|This email, apparently from a candidate for the US Senate, takes a common populist approach of repeating particular phrases to imply that they will stand up for the interests of the common people against a system that is rigged against them, without giving any meaningful indication of what they intend to achieve. Not only is the mere statement of "jobs", without any kind of explanation of what problems they believe there are, or what they suggest doing about it, entirely unhelpful, they also seem to suggest that, despite them being elected, it would be everybody else's responsibility to solve it.
|-
|'''Hopeless.''' It's bad. Really bad. If you don't chip in now, the darkness spreading across the land will…
|This is a favorite of moral campaigns, on both sides of a debate. Grand statements about evil and corruption taking over the country if the campaign does not get enough support are common, but they are (hopefully!) extremely biased and dramatic. The wording in this case is also somewhat archaic and melodramatic, making it sound like something from a fantasy novel.
This might also refer to [[1391: Darkness]], where everyone forgets about the day and night cycle, and reporters are reporting on the darkness that has spread as far west as Texas.
|-
|As the first woman to fly a fighter jet through our state's formerly all-male university, I learned…
|Candidates often like to portray themselves as trailblazers for a particular community, who have persevered and achieved despite the odds. Normally, one would make a virtue of being the first ''from'' a university to do something, rather than the first to achieve something involving the university itself. Flying a plane through a university is risky, at the very least,{{Citation needed}} and depending on the definition of "through", could imply destruction of buildings or the plane itself, which might paint the candidate in an irresponsible light. The implication of "formerly all-male university" may be that the university was changed from being all-male in response to this candidate wrecking it with a fighter jet. This may also refer to the viral 2017 Congressional campaign ad of {{w|Amy McGrath}}, the first female Marine to fly an {{w|McDonnell Douglas F/A-18 Hornet|F-18}} in combat.
|-
|'''We're broke.''' No paid staff. No ads. And the cafe has told us to stop using their WiFi to send fundraising…
| This campaign tactic attempts to appeal to the reader's sympathy by describing financial struggles and poverty, but these tactics may instead make the movement look pathetic and poorly-organized, especially because the group is apparently so poor, they can't afford premises of their own to run the campaign from, or an internet connection to continue sending emails to ask for funding.
|-
|When Amy decided to run for Congress, I was like "Huh?" but I checked Wikipedia, and apparently it's a branch of…
|The first few words here might suggest the writer is about to explain how, having initially been skeptical, Amy's inspirational message and/or character has won them over to her campaign. This kind of message is used to make a candidate seem relatable and credible. In fact, though, they just didn't know what she was talking about, as they didn't know what Congress was. Since they clearly don't know much about the subject, this would fail to lend the weight it is aiming to.

Furthermore, while a familiar tone could also be part of a communication strategy to make the message seem relatable, this takes it to an extreme that would probably come across as unprofessional and lacking in seriousness.
|-
|'''Are you familiar''' with the Dutch painter Hieronymus Bosch? His work illustrates my opponent's plan for…
|The works of {{w|Hieronymus Bosch}} are famous for depictions of {{w|Hell}} and {{w|Limbo}} as brutal places of highly imaginative torments, which the sender implies would be similar to the country under their opponent's plan. This mocks the tendency of political campaigns to present an exaggerated view of how bad things would be if their political rivals were elected.
|-
|Being a single mom running a small business while going to law school while being deployed to Iraq taught me…
|Each of these are typical credentials that a candidate might cite in order to imply that they are hardworking and committed. However, it is extremely unlikely that one person would take on all of these responsibilities at the same time, and attempting to do so might suggest that they lack focus and aren't really that committed to any one thing. Also, it would be very difficult for someone to do all of these things simultaneously (e.g. running a small business while deployed in Iraq), so the person might come across as lying in order to impress people.
|-
|'''I will lead the fight''' against the big banks, special interests, the Earth's climate, and our children. I…
|This is another populist message listing off hot button topics. However, after starting out with some typical promises to fight fairly commonly despised things, it then becomes more controversial. It promises to fight the climate, with the peculiar implication that damaging the climate is the goal, and 'our children', which most voters would think would need protecting. This may be suggesting that politicians using these kind of messages are likely to be hiding bad intentions behind their attractive sounding slogans (or they may be just trying and failing to write a populist message without fully understanding it). The fight "against our children" may be a reference to a popular {{w|Bushism}}.
|-
|'''Wow.''' Have you seen this video of the squirrel obstacle course? Incredible! Anyway, I'm running because I…
|A typical form of {{w|clickbait}}. (Don't read another table entry until you've followed that link! Reference #10 will shock you). It is not a reference to [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hFZFjoX2cGg the Mark Rober squirrel obstacle course], a video that was released two years after this comic came out, but it may reference [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nWU0bfo-bSY this now-private video].
|-
|'''Outrageous.''' Granted, this was a few years ago, but did you hear what President Ford said about…
|When a politician makes an offensive comment, it's common for the politician's opponents to send out fundraising emails pointing out the politician's offensiveness as a way of generating donations to the fight against them. Political strategists will often keep dossiers of such remarks to be used when needed in campaigning season. More recently, there has been a trend for trawling opponents' social media accounts for controversial comments they may have made several years previously, or even as a youth. Here, the sender's reaction and e-mail fundraising effort appears to be unusually delayed, as it refers to an alleged comment by {{w|Gerald Ford}} (potentially a reference to his infamous gaffe that there was "no Soviet domination in Eastern Europe"), whose term as President of the United States ended in 1977 and who died in 2006.
|-
|'''Whoops.''' Due to a typo, we spent months running attack ads against Tom Hanks. Now, we need to make up for…
|The email apologizes for running months of attack ads against American actor {{w|Tom Hanks}}. Hanks is generally a popular and uncontroversial figure with [http://archive.boston.com/ae/celebrity/articles/2008/01/06/nice_guy_tom_hanks/ a reputation] for being [https://www.ranker.com/list/tom-hanks-was-the-best/lisa-waugh nice and likable in person], making him an unusual target for attack ads. This implies that the sender does not even know who their opponent is, and has mistakenly targeted the wrong person, demonstrating some significant ignorance and incompetence.
|-
|'''They say we can't win—'''that we're "underdogs" with "no money" who "lost the election last week." But they don't…
|In multi-candidacy electoral races, campaigns will often suggest that a rival 'can't win here', sometimes prefaced with an appeal to authority, such as 'Polls show...'. The hope is that some supporters of the candidate being attacked may be persuaded to switch their vote to the candidate whose campaign it is, in an effort to prevent a third, more disliked, candidate from being elected. Here, the approach seems to be a campaign mocking the opposition's statements about themselves, defiantly exhibiting the negative feedback against them before leading into some point to prove the arguments wrong. However, the complaints being mocked seem like serious flaws in the campaign, and indeed, it seems to confess that they ''already lost'', and thus have no purpose for a campaign anymore. Any campaign continuing to email supporters after losing is clearly in deep denial, especially if it thinks the negative press about it is unjustified.

This may refer to {{w|Roy Moore#U.S. Senate special election campaign|Roy Moore's attempts}} to overturn his loss in the December 2017 election for one of Alabama's US Senate seats, which came about a month before this comic and made national headlines. After the initial election count had him losing, he demanded a recount. That initial count said he had lost by a large enough margin that Alabama law required him to pay up front for a recount, and his campaign did not have enough funds available.
|-
|'''Our campaign's only chance''' is to seduce Jennifer ActBlue, heir to the ActBlue fortune. For that, we need a fancy…
|This e-mail alludes to [https://secure.actblue.com/ ActBlue], a political action committee that provides technology to help Democrat and progressive organizations to campaign and collect donations online. In reality, there is no ActBlue family, nor any "Jennifer ActBlue" who is the heir to its fortune; the name ActBlue is a portmanteau from the words "action", in a political sense, and the color "blue", which is {{w|Red states and blue states|closely associated}} with the Democratic Party in the USA. Even if Jennifer ActBlue was a real heiress, a candidate whose only hope to win revolved around seducing a wealthy woman would be facing serious problems.
|-
|'''Doom.''' Where is the horse and the rider? Where is the horn that was blowing? They have passed, like rain on…
|This is an excerpt from {{w|J. R. R. Tolkien|Tolkien's}} poem ''[http://tolkiengateway.net/wiki/Lament_for_the_Rohirrim Lament of the Rohirrim,]'' appearing in ''{{w|The Two Towers}}'': 
Where now the horse and the rider? Where is the horn that was blowing? 
Where is the helm and the hauberk, and the bright hair flowing? 
Where is the hand on the harpstring, and the red fire glowing? 
Where is the spring and the harvest and the tall corn growing? 
They have passed like rain on the mountain, like a wind in the meadow; 
The days have gone down in the West behind the hills into shadow. 
Who shall gather the smoke of the dead wood burning, 
Or behold the flowing years from the Sea returning?
|-
|'''Warmest greetings.''' I am the crown prince of Nigeria. I am running for Congress because I believe that…
|The opening line is designed to sound like spam for an {{W | Advance-fee scam}}. These scams typically involve impersonating someone rich, often a Nigerian prince, who claims to be in trouble and promises to share a large sum of money if the victim helps him by sending a small fee in advance. However, the second sentence of this email switches to sounding like a political fundraising email instead of an outright scam. This is either to establish a degrading comparison between flagrant scams and fundraising emails, or just to create a bait-and-switch joke. Another possibility is that the email sounds like it is a scam because it is a scam.
Note that a Nigerian crown prince could probably not run for Congress without renouncing his title. Congressional candidates must be citizens of the United States, and gaining US citizenship requires one to "renounce and abjure all allegiance and fidelity to any foreign prince, potentate, state, or sovereignty, of whom or which [they] have heretofore been a subject or citizen".[https://www.ecfr.gov/current/title-8 (citation)] It is unclear how one could renounce allegiance to a state which they expect to rule. The only way to avoid this requirement would be for the crown prince to be born in the United States (presumably while their parents were travelling in the country), thus potentially making them a natural-born citizen; even in this case, it might be open to question whether a child born to a foreign sovereign could be said to have been born under the jurisdiction of the United States (and thus to have gained United States citizenship at birth).
|-
|The establishment doesn't take us seriously. You know who else they didn't take seriously? Hitler. I'll be like him, but a GOOD guy instead of… (title text)
|A candidate who {{tvtropes|HitlerAteSugar|compares}} himself to {{w|Hitler}}, even when promising to be GOOD instead, will probably not get many votes. The title text does however conform to {{w|Godwin's law}}.
|}

==Transcript==
:[An e-mail inbox window is displayed. On each line appears an illegible e-mail address and a checkbox.]
:'''Donate now.''' It's crunch time, and we're low on cash. If you chip in just $5 by midnight, we…
:'''Donate $35.57 now!''' Our data team has determined that we should ask you for $35.57 to optimize the…
:'''Help.''' Our campaign made some mistakes and we need a '''lot''' of money ASAP. Any kind, but cash is…
:'''Washington is broken.''' When I win, I'll look those other senators in the eye and tell them: "Jobs." Then I…
:'''Hopeless.''' It's bad. Really bad. If you don't chip in now, the darkness spreading across the land will…
:As the first woman to fly a fighter jet through our state's formerly all-male university, I learned… 
:'''We're broke.''' No paid staff. No ads. And the cafe has told us to stop using their wifi to send fundraising…
:When Amy decided to run for Congress, I was like "Huh?" but I checked Wikipedia, and apparently it's a branch of…
:'''Are you familiar''' with the Dutch painter Hieronymus Bosch? His work illustrates my opponent's plan for…
:Being a single mom running a small business while going to law school while being deployed to Iraq taught me…
:'''I will lead the fight''' against the big banks, special interests, the Earth's climate, and our children. I…
:'''Wow.''' Have you seen this video of the squirrel obstacle course? Incredible! Anyway, I'm running because I…
:'''Outrageous.''' Granted, this was a few years ago, but did you hear what President Ford said about…
:'''Whoops.''' Due to a typo, we spent months running attack ads against Tom Hanks. Now, we need to make up for…
:'''They say we can't win—'''that we're "underdogs" with "no money" who "lost the election last week." But they don't…
:'''Our campaign's only chance''' is to seduce Jennifer ActBlue, heir to the ActBlue fortune. For that, we need a fancy…
:'''Doom.''' Where is the horse and the rider? Where is the horn that was blowing? They have passed, like rain on…
:'''Warmest greetings.''' I am the crown prince of Nigeria. I am running for Congress because I believe that…

{{comic discussion}}

[[Category:Politics]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Adolf Hitler]]
[[Category:Comics featuring politicians]]
[[Category:LOTR]]

3034: Features of Adulthood

2025-01-16T01:49:21Z

Whoop whoop pull up: /* Events */

{{comic
| number = 3034
| date = January 6, 2025
| title = Features of Adulthood
| image = features_of_adulthood_2x.png
| imagesize = 704x620px
| noexpand = true
| titletext = I don't dig pit traps and cover them with sticks and a thin layer of leaves nearly as much as I expected; I find a chance to do it barely once a month.
}}

==Explanation==
{{incomplete| Unexpectedly created by an adult BOT digging pit traps - Please change this comment when editing this page. Do NOT delete this tag too soon.}}

This comic is a graph comparing the (mostly) common ideas of adulthood from a young person's perspective with reality of it. The plot is fully populated, with many issues (both common and uncommon) matching expectations pretty well, as well as features that are much rarer than expected (like encounters with quicksand, crocodiles and explosives), and some very common issues that don't occur to young people, such as deciding what to eat, or dealing with weird noises and smells.

It is clear that much of the 'lower-right triangle' (things that don't come up nearly as often as expected) are ''direct'' references to fictional scenarios on film or TV, likely particularly the type of fiction that [[Randall]] consumed as a child (probably including cartoons and action movies). In contrast, the complimentary 'upper-left triangle' largely consists of the type of mundane adult activities that children don't see or notice in real life, and which often aren't interesting enough to be disproportionately common in fiction.

==Events==

{| class="wikitable sortable"
! Event
! Expected frequency in adulthood
! Actual frequency in adulthood
! Notes
|-
| {{w|Eating utensil etiquette#Fork etiquette|Which fork you're supposed to use for what}}
| 0%
| 0%
| Traditional, formal dining involves {{w|Fork#Types of forks|different types of forks}} for different courses of a meal. Learning {{w|Table setting#Place setting|which fork to use}} for which course might be taught in {{w|etiquette school}}, and is perceived as a signifier of social class (though this is likely an exaggerated concern). Dining has generally become less formal in Western society since the mid-20th century; as a result, most people are used to only using a single fork, or at most two, for their meals. This means that, for most people, {{tvtropes|FormalFullArrayOfCutlery|the issue rarely comes up}}, even in adulthood.
|-
| {{tvtropes|CartoonBomb|Lit fuses}}
| 40%
| 0%
| Explosives with visible lit fuses are commonly seen in movies and TV shows, particularly in cartoons. In reality, the average person is unlikely to deal with explosives at all. When explosives are used, they're usually electrically detonated, or sometimes use a concealed fuse (e.g. {{w|grenade}}s). Visible, burning fuses are sufficiently obsolete that most people will never encounter them directly.
|-
| {{tvtropes|PalatePropping|Shoving a stick}} in a {{w|crocodile}}'s mouth to wedge it open
| 80%
| 0%
| Placing a vertical stick in a crocodile’s mouth is a popular TV trope to prevent the crocodile from {{w|Crocodile attack|biting down}} (usually on the stick placer). Crocodile attacks on humans are common only in specific geographical areas, meaning that most people will never encounter them. Even when such an encounter happens, using a stick in that way would almost certainly be ineffective.
|-
| {{w|Quicksand}}
| 100%
| 0%
| Quicksand is {{tvtropes|QuicksandSucks|common in adventure fiction}}, but it's quite rare in real life (nor does it generally behave the way it's depicted in such fiction). The average person is unlikely to ever encounter it.
|-
| {{w|Car chase}}s
| 35%
| 5%
| Car chases are frequently seen in movies and TV shows involving police, including real-life police shows, but unless you're a police officer or criminal trying to evade them, you'll probably never be involved in one.
|-
| {{w|Grappling hook}}s
| 100%
| 5%
| A grappling hook is a device, typically made of metal, with multiple hooks and features to allow it to be secured to the end of a rope. It can be thrown to either grab an object at a distance and pull it toward you, or to anchor the rope to an elevated point (such as on a cliff or building) to aid in climbing. The latter use is quite common in action and adventure fiction. While such devices do exist in real life, they generally have specialty uses that the average person is unlikely to have the need for.
|-
| People offering free drugs
| 30%
| 10%
| Children being warned about illicit drugs have often been cautioned that drug dealers would inevitably approach them and offer them free drugs, in order to encourage an addiction and gain a reliable customer. In real life, drug dealers virtually never work that way, and are unlikely to part with their product unless payment has been made. Most people are introduced to drugs by friends or acquaintances, who might offer some for free, but that's only likely in specific social groups and situations.
|-
| {{w|Parachute}}s
| 80%
| 10%
| {{w|Parachuting}} allows people to jump out of planes at altitude, or from other elevated heights, and slow their descent enough to land safely. This is dramatic enough to come up often in adventure fiction. Parachutes are, of course, used in real life, but most people will only have reason to use them if they put the money and effort into recreational skydiving or {{w|BASE jumping}}.
|-
| {{w|Barrels}}
| 95%
| 10%
| Wooden or {{w|Drum (container)|metal}} storage containers are frequently used as concealment, improvised weapons and (sometimes explosive) obstacles in popular media. While barrels are actually quite common, they're large enough that the majority of people rarely have a reason to interact with them, unless they happen to work in a job that either sells or uses liquids in large quantities.
|-
| {{w|Middle name}}s
| 15%
| 20%
| A second (or occasionally also third or more) {{w|given name}}, common in some traditions. In most Anglophone countries, having a middle name is common, but most people only use them in formal situations where a full name is required (as when filling out legal documents), or if they adopt the middle name to be known by (in which case, most people will not realise this). This is true to the point where most people don't know the middle names of most of their acquaintances, or even if they have one. In consequence, both as a child and as an adult, middle names will be encountered occasionally, but not regularly.
|-
| {{w|Food fight}}s
| 50%
| 20%
| A common trope in fiction has a young people eating together (often in a cafeteria), and someone playfully begins throwing food, causing others to retaliate, until the whole room devolves into a food fight. Such a fight is inherently messy and irresponsible, but is unlikely to actually hurt anyone seriously, and so represents youthful hijinks. Such events aren't unknown in real life, but aren't necessarily pleasant (food is wasted and people might miss their meal as a result, you might end up covered in food all day, clean-up is a big job, punishments are likely to be handed out, and clothes might be permanently stained), so they aren't nearly as common as someone raised on fiction might imagine. Adults are most likely to encounter them being indulged in by the children in their life, rather than taking part themselves.
|-
| {{tvtropes|TwinSwitch|Twins switching places}}
| 90%
| 20%
| In fiction, if a pair of identical twins are introduced, it's almost inevitable that they'll trade places at some point, each trying to pass for the other, whether as a prank, or for some more serious purpose (a version of {{w|Chekhov's gun}}). Actual identical twins are quite rare (roughly 1 in 300 live births), even identical twins might not look exactly alike, and many twins get tired of being confused for one another at a young age, and so have no interest trying to trade places as adults. Frankly, a real life percentage above 0% may be a joke.
|-
| {{w|Flat tire}}s
| 10%
| 25%
| Anyone who drives or rides a vehicle with tires faces the possibility of a tire going flat, due to either wear or road damage. This is usually merely an inconvenience, as it requires stopping to change or patch the tire, but a person lacking the knowledge or equipment to do so might have to call for help and/or be stranded until help arrives. Young people tend to be aware of this possibility, but it may happen a bit more often than they'd expect.
|-
| {{w|Briefcase}}s
| 70%
| 25%
| Frequently used to carry documents and other small office equipment, they've historically been treated as part of the standard kit for a white collar worker. In fiction, they are often portrayed as {{tvtropes|BriefcaseFullOfMoney|a means to carry a large amount of cash}}, {{tvtropes|BriefcaseBlaster|conceal a firearm}}, or a {{tvtropes|MacGuffin}}. The popularity of briefcases has been declining after the 1980s. In modern times, documents are likely to be kept digitally and people are far more likely to carry a laptop bag for work than a briefcase.
|-
| {{w|Martial arts}}
| 95%
| 25%
| A child raised on action films and TV shows may assume that use of martial arts is a normal part of life for most adults. In reality, most adults aren't trained in martial arts, and those who are very rarely use them in an actual fight. Martial arts are generally encountered only in classes or competitions set up specifically for it.
|-
| {{w|Water damage}}
| 0%
| 25%
| Water getting into the wrong places can be a serious problem, causing damage to homes and other buildings, vehicles, infrastructure, and all kinds of property. Such damage can happen without much warning, can be hard to detect at first, and can be hard to deal with. While precautions are usually taken to prevent such things from getting wet, water incursion can still happen, due to weather events, flooding, plumbing leaks, accidental spills, and even condensation. Children are likely to be entirely unaware of this, but many adults have to deal with it at some point in their lives.
|-
| {{w|Backpack}}s
| 40%
| 40%
| Backpacks of various sizes are a versatile means to carry items. They are almost as popular in real life as in fiction, though the contents may be somewhat different.
|-
| My {{w|Transcript (education)|academic record}}
| 95%
| 30%
| A child's life revolves around school: it's where they spend a large fraction of their waking hours, classmates make up most of their social circle, class schedules dictate when and how they spend their free time, and parental figures often punish/reward children based on their academic performance. The child may assume that school will continue to be an ever-present all-ecompassing feature of their future life, with their grades constituting a "permanent record" that will follow them into adulthood.
In reality, academic records aren't anywhere near that important. Some entry-level jobs may consider a candidate's past grades, but they're a tertiary concern after job interviews and professional references. By the time a person reaches their late 20s, academic records become irrelevant and are supplanted by the person's professional résumé.
|-
| {{w|Adhesive}}s
| 15%
| 50%
| Adhesives such as {{w|glue}}, {{w|adhesive tape|tape}} and {{w|epoxy resin}} are used to bond items together, typically for use in arts and crafts. They also have widespread industrial applications.
|-
| {{w|Board game}}s
| 60%
| 50%
| Board games of various kinds (such as {{w|chess}}, {{w|checkers|checkers/draughts}}, {{w|Monopoly (game)|Monopoly}}, {{w|Parcheesi}}/{{w|Ludo}}, {{w|Risk (game)|Risk}}, {{w|Snakes & Ladders}}, {{w|Cluedo|Clue/Cluedo}}, {{w|Trivial Pursuit}} or [https://boardgamegeek.com/boardgame/3149/lost-valley-of-the-dinosaurs Lost Valley of the Dinosaurs]) were often a staple for family home entertainment, in the past. The use of such games has likely declined somewhat with the evolution of other entertainment options (such as video games), but they remain a popular social activity, with the number and complexity of such games having grown substantially.
|-
| Tying {{w|knot}}s
| 85%
| 40%
| There are a large number of knots, with a similar variety of uses. Knowing the right types of knots can be highly useful in certain situations, but how often those situations come up heavily depends on individual circumstances. Camping, fishing and rock-climbing require tying specialty knots quite frequently, but for people who don't have such hobbies, their use is less common. The high expected frequency suggests that [[Randall]] was encouraged to learn knots as a child, possible due to involvement in {{w|scouting}}, or some other outdoor activity, and the emphasis suggested that they'd come up a lot. When interest in knot-heavy activities wanes, the application of knots tends to fall off as well.
|-
| {{w|Cable management}}
| 0%
| 50%
| Cable management is the act of tidying up the cables in and around a computer or other device, which is an annoying but often required task for most adults. Most children are never involved in this task, and don't even realize that it exists until they're old enough to both be responsible for significant electronics and care about tidiness.
|-
| {{w|Laser}}s
| 90%
| 50%
|Lasers are common in sci-fi and spy stories. In real life, the average person will never encounter lasers as a weapon, but they do have a number of practical applications, some that nearly everyone encounters (such as bar code readers), and others that depend on occupation and hobbies (such a laser cutting and engraving). As someone who is interested in science and technology, Randall likely encounters and uses lasers much more than the average person.
|-
| Dangerous driving situations
| 40%
| 60%
| Dangerous driving situations, while existent in lots of {{w|Car chase|children's media}}, still would not be very expected to show up in real life. However, adults who drive have to worry about dangerous driving situations almost constantly to avoid accidents.
|-
| {{w|Pizza}}
| 55%
| 55%
| In the US, pizza is commonly consumed as a takeout or delivery food. it's often a favorite food for children, and is often a favorite of child-oriented characters, such as {{w|Spider-Man}} and the {{w|Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles}}. Since it's convenient, filling, tasty and inexpensive, adults tend to enjoy it as well, and some eat it just as frequently as they might have expected as children.
|-
| {{w|Star Wars}}
| 80%
| 55%
| The Star Wars franchise began with the release of the eponymous film in 1977, which was followed by two sequels, and ultimately spawned a media empire of films, television shows, books, video games and merchandising which continues to this day. The series has always had appeal to both children and adults. As a childhood fan, [[Randall]] evidently expected the franchise to continue to be of importance when he was an adult. While it apparently isn't quite as prominent in his adult life as he might have expected, the franchise continues to be a significant feature in popular culture, and he seemingly [[:Category:Star Wars|remains a fan]], even decades later.
|-
| Cool toys
| 95%
| 55%
| Children love to play with cool toys, and naïvely assume they always will. Many adults still buy cool toys, but don't play with them in order to collect them in the best condition as status symbols.
|-
| {{w|Weather forecast}}s
| 10%
| 60%
| Children generally have very little interest in weather forecasts, outside of exceptional circumstances (such as snow days, or extreme weather events). [[Randall]], as an adult, takes an avid interest in weather and the process of forecasting it, and has created [[:Category:Weather|multiple strips dealing with the topic.]]
|-
| {{w|Batteries}}
| 50%
| 60%
| When Randall was a child batteries would have been a necessary but annoying reality, needed to keep toys and games operating. In contrast adult devices would normally operate on mains power. However the advent of cheap and powerful lithium-ion batteries has meant that a large variety of devices from consumer electronics to motor vehicles are now battery powered which Randall would probably not expected.
|-
| {{w|Power tools}}
| 75%
| 66%
| Children are often fascinated by power tools, and are generally not allowed to use them unsupervised (or at all), due to the risk of injury. Such a child might dream of the day when they can own and use all the tools they want. How often adults actually use power tools depends heavily on occupation and lifestyle. Someone working in a building or manufacturing trade might use them constantly, others might rarely or never find an occasion to use them.
|-
| {{w|Video game}}s
| 60%
| 75%
| During [[Randall]]'s childhood, video games were a relatively new technology, and were often dismissed as juvenile and pointless. With the passage of time, they've become increasingly common as a pastime for adults. Given the increasing complexity of electronic games, it's not uncommon for adults to spend more time on them than children.
|-
| Figuring out what to have for dinner
| 10%
| 85%
| For many children, dinner is something that just 'arrives', having been decided on and prepared by the relevant caregiver. The simple function of making a decision probably seems trivial to children, but planning meals every day (possibly multiple times a day), involves accounting for such factors as nutrition, cost, availability of ingredients, the time and effort involved (with respect to everyone's schedules) and individual taste and possible dietary restrictions (which can become complex when dealing with multiple people). Most people also want variety in their meals, so repeating a small number of dishes can quickly become boring, but managing a large number of dishes presents more challenges. This process can take up far more mental bandwidth than children are ever aware of. Additionally, the range of foodstuffs available to affluent people in Western societies has significantly increased since Randall's childhood, which may induce choice paralysis when confronted with them.
|-
| {{w|Heating, ventilation and air conditioning|HVAC}} issues
| 20%
| 80%
| HVAC is an acronym that stands for 'heating, ventilation and air conditioning.' If one owns a home, problems with the heater or air conditioner can quickly make your home very uncomfortable (too cold in the winter or too hot in the summer) and becomes something you have to deal with right away. This kind of home maintenance is often virtually invisible to children, but something adults have to think about far more frequently
|-
| {{w|Cooking}}
| 95%
| 85%
|
|-
| Secret {{w|password}}s
| 60%
| 90%
| Traditionally, in fiction, secret passwords have been portrayed as used for purposes such as espionage and admission to secret clubs. Children, accordingly, tend to think of them as an exciting part of adult life. In modern times, most people use secret passwords on a daily basis, but for more mundane purposes such as accessing websites and voicemail. Managing multiple passwords tends to become a chore, rather than a source of intrigue.
|-
| Laundry
| 75%
| 90%
|
|-
| {{w|Tax}}es
| 100%
| 90%
| One of two inevitable things in life, {{w|Death and taxes (idiom)|the other being death}}. Complaints about taxes (both their level and the effort involved in calculating them) are so common that children may grow up thinking that adults constantly have to deal with taxes, and the strip suggests that's only a mild exaggeration. For the typical American, income taxes only need to be done once a year, but taxes are generally withdrawn from every paycheck, and all major financial transactions have to be considered for tax implications. Additionally, American stores typically don't include sales tax in the listed price, so taxes have to be considered every time someone makes a purchase.
|-
| Customer service
| 40%
| 90%
|
|-
| Shopping
| 100%
| 90%
|
|-
| Unexplained smells or noises
| 5%
| 100%
| With relatively few exceptions, children tend to be oblivious to subtle noises or smells around them. Adults, however, tend to be aware that they can potentially be serious. A strange smell might indicate anything from a fire to a gas leak to mold to vehicle problems, while strange sounds could indicate mechanical or electrical problems (in a building or vehicle), or any number of other dangers. Of course, such things could also be unimportant, but that's difficult to know until you've found the source, which can be difficult to do. As a result, adults may spend a lot more time thinking about such things than children would ever expect.
|-
| Pocket radio communicators
| 75%
| 100%
| When [[Randall]] was growing up, the pocket radio communicators were mostly seen in spy fiction or science fiction, and children often dreamed of a day when such devices were available to them. In the 21st century, the ubiquity of {{w|cell phone}}s and other electronic devices means that having, carrying, and using such communicators is a nearly universal experience.
|-
| Bills
| 90%
| 100%
| Most households have to contend with electricity, water and telecommunication service bills. Children will often hear their parents complaining about having to deal with bills, and will generally find out that this task is just as common as it was presented.
|-
| Digging {{w|pit trap}}s (title text)
| N/A
| N/A
| Inside the Star Destroyer in [[1608: Hoverboard]] we see [https://www.explainxkcd.com/wiki/images/f/fd/1608_1055x1090y_Trap_covered_with_leaves_and_flying_Ponytail_at_bottom_of_hull.png Cueball cover a pit trap with leaves], so this is something Randall actually thinks about sometimes!
|}

==Transcript==
{{incomplete transcript|Do NOT delete this tag too soon.}}

:[Shown is a scatter plot, with arrowed labels on the axes:]
:Y axis label: How often it comes up in my adult life
:X axis label: How often I expected it to come up in my adult life

:[First row of items (comes up very often, from least to most expected):]
:Unexplained smells or noises; customer service; pocket radio communicators; bills; shopping
:[Items row by row from the second row onwards:]
:Figuring out what to have for dinner; HVAC issues; secret passwords; laundry; cooking; taxes
:Weather forecasts; batteries; video games; power tools
:Cable management; dangerous driving situations; pizza; Star Wars; lasers; cool toys
:Adhesives; board games; tying knots
:Water damage; backpacks; my academic record
:Flat tires; briefcases; martial arts
:Middle names; people offering free drugs; food fights; parachutes; twins switching places; barrels
:[Last row (comes up very rarely, from least to most expected):]
:Which fork you're supposed to use for what; car chases; lit fuses; shoving a stick in a crocodile's mouth to wedge it open; grappling hooks; quicksand

{{comic discussion}}

[[Category:Scatter plots]]
[[Category:Food]]
[[Category:Weather]]
[[Category:Star Wars]]
[[Category:Video games]]
[[Category:Board games]]
[[Category:Animals]]

3028: D&D Roll

2025-01-16T00:56:58Z

Whoop whoop pull up: /* Background */

{{comic
| number = 3028
| date = December 23, 2024
| title = D&D Roll
| image = dnd_roll_2x.png
| imagesize = 312x313px
| noexpand = true
| titletext = Under some circumstances, if you throw a D8 and then a D12 at an enemy, thanks to the D8's greater pointiness you actually have to roll a D12 and D8 respectively to determine damage.
}}

==Explanation==

This comic is a scene from a tabletop roleplaying game, probably {{w|Dungeons & Dragons}}. In [[3015: D&D Combinatorics]], the same people, [[Cueball]], [[Megan]], [[Ponytail]], [[White Hat]] and [[Knit Cap]], are seated playing D&D in the same seats, where Cueball seems to represent [[Randall]].

Here Cueball announces "I roll D20... 18," referring to rolling a 20-sided die and getting the relatively high score of 18, presumably while in a fight with a {{w|kobold (Dungeons & Dragons)|kobold}} (a small reptilian humanoid creature in D&D.) The {{w|gamemaster|Dungeon Master}} (DM, or game master), Ponytail, responds that the kobold is unaffected, but suggests using a sword instead, pointing out the absurdity of trying to defeat an enemy by rolling dice at them. (Ponytail was also the dungeon master in the previous D&D comic).

Cueball made the mistake of assuming that Ponytail would understand which of his weapons or other {{w|melee}} attacks he intended to use, but she had no way of knowing that, so she decided to gently tease him about the omission. This is a common mistake, and being gently made fun of is a common result. The player will usually be allowed to state the specific attack intended and roll again.{{acn}} It could also have to do with the idea that some people forget D&D is a roleplaying game and just roll dice without explaining, for example, *how* they charm the shopkeeper.

However, the possibility exists that the players' characters have actual dice, such as those which were role-played as being produced in [[244: Tabletop Roleplaying]]. The title text suggests that if you literally threw dice as weapons, an eight-sided die (D8) would do more damage than a twelve-sided die (D12) because of its {{w|Dice#Common variations|pointier shape}}, so ironically, you might need to roll the D12 to determine the D8's damage and vice versa, in "some circumstances." As per the Background below, those circumstances are considerably slight. The effectiveness of the [[2626: d65536|d65536]] in this context has yet to be determined.

===Background===
When attacking an enemy in D&D, regardless of the weapon used, the attack starts with a d20 roll to see if it lands a solid hit. If a sufficiently high (or in the earliest editions, sufficiently low) number is rolled, the attack hits, and then further dice (chosen depending on the weapon's form and any magic it might possess) are rolled to determine damage. Before any dice can be rolled at all, however, the player must declare which enemy they are attacking and what with. This is trivial if the attacking character always uses the same weapon and is facing a single enemy, but becomes an important question if the fight is more complex. Consider a case where there are two kobolds present, one wearing plate armor while the other has only a loincloth on (the armor requiring a better d20 roll to defeat), and the player carries both a greatsword (dealing heavy general damage) and the magical "Icepick of Instant Kobold Death" (normally ignored but in this case very useful) and also has magic item that can shoot a destructive [https://5e.d20srd.org/srd/spells/scorchingRay.htm ''Scorching Ray'']. There are also certain weapons that deal subpar damage on a typical attack, but trigger a powerful extra effect on a very good roll such as 18, making it even more important to specify which weapon one is using before making the roll. A cheating player might roll first, and then decide which weapon they were using and on which target. This could also be used to avoid wasting a weapon (or [[3015: D&D Combinatorics|particular ammunition]]) with limited uses.

By D&D 5 rules, a stone hurled from a sling does [https://5e.d20srd.org/srd/equipment/weapons.htm#simpleWeapons 1d4 bludgeoning damage]. A sling bullet typically weighs [https://5e.d20srd.org/srd/equipment/equipment.htm#tableAdventuringGear 3/40 pound (1.2 oz, 35 g)], a plausible weight for a normal-sized die made of a moderately dense material. Presumably, an object of similar weight that's thrown "by hand" rather than with a sling would do less damage, though a heavier object might do similar damage (albeit with less range). The D&D 3.5 spell [https://www.d20srd.org/srd/spells/magicStone.htm ''Magic Stone''] enhances ordinary small stones so they do 1d6+1 damage when hurled, or 2d6+2 when striking undead creatures. So depending on the setup, a D&D character throwing a die at an enemy could theoretically cause considerable harm, but would normally be much better served with an intentionally crafted weapon.

Alternately, DMs may take umbrage at a player's presumption to roll dice for actions before being asked to, and this could be interpreted as a chiding. Sometimes rolls are not necessary in cases where success is automatic (the kobold is effectively helpless) or impossible (the kobold is magically immune to physical attacks), although it should be the DM's own choice whether to still test for a meaningful critical [https://rpgmuseum.fandom.com/wiki/Critical_failure failure] or [https://rpgmuseum.fandom.com/wiki/Critical_hit success], despite it being an apparently foregone conclusion of either kind. There are also other circumstances where the required dice is(/are) different ''in this instance'' from that which the player may assume. From a practical perspective, if the performed rolling of the dice is not required (or correctly composed) for the DM's purposes, they can choose to ignore it and/or ask for some other roll(s) to be made. It may then be the player that might be most upset by having rolled a 'good' roll that has been 'wasted', on the principle that they would have liked it to have it happen later, when it actually mattered, despite this being statistically irrelevant, assuming that the DM doesn't keep any such details mysteriously hidden.

==Transcript==
:[Cueball, Megan, Ponytail, White Hat, and Knit Cap are sitting around a table in a tabletop gaming session. Both Cueball and Knit Cap are sitting in office chairs at the ends of the table, with Cueball leaning forward and holding his hand above the table and Knit Cap leaning back on her arm. Behind the table, Megan sits to the left of Ponytail and White Hat to the right. They are both looking at Ponytail, while Ponytail is looking at Cueball. Objects such as dice, miniatures, a map, and papers are on the table.]
:Cueball: I roll D20... 18.
:Ponytail: The kobold is unaffected.
:Ponytail: Honestly, I don't know why you thought dice would help. You should probably try a sword or something instead.

{{comic discussion}}

[[Category:Comics featuring Cueball]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Megan]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Ponytail]]
[[Category:Comics featuring White Hat]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Knit Cap]]
[[Category:Games]]

3026: Linear Sort

2025-01-16T00:49:38Z

Whoop whoop pull up: /* Explanation */

{{comic
| number = 3026
| date = December 18, 2024
| title = Linear Sort
| image = linear_sort_2x.png
| imagesize = 385x181px
| noexpand = true
| titletext = The best case is O(n), and the worst case is that someone checks why.
}}

==Explanation==
{{w|Sorting algorithm}}s are a fundamental part of computer science, with various methods differing in efficiency, ease of implementation, and resource usage. Efficiency is often described using {{w|Big O notation}}, which expresses how the runtime of an algorithm scales with the size of the input. For example, "O(''n'')" ("linear time") means the runtime grows proportionally to the size of the input, while "O(''n'' log ''n'')" means it grows slightly faster than linear. Faster algorithms, like O(''n''), are generally preferred for large datasets. However, it is known that no general sorting algorithms with linear runtime exist.

The comic presents a humorous "linear time" sorting algorithm that first uses {{w|merge sort}}, a well-known O(''n'' log ''n'') algorithm, to sort the list. It then "sleeps" for an additional amount of time to artificially make the runtime scale linearly with the size of the input. Specifically, it pauses for <code>(1 million) * length(list) - (time spent sorting)</code> seconds, which is perhaps large enough (in the case of all practical implementations) to stretch to a knowable point beyond the actual time spent sorting, ensuring the overall runtime appears to grow linearly. This is a joke because the actual sorting is still O(''n'' log ''n''); the additional sleep time is simply wasted time to give the illusion of linear time. It's also a joke because it makes the sort so slow that it's useless, with a "sort" of one item taking upwards of 11 ''days'', two items taking 23 days, three taking 34 days, and so on. Another 'sort' that technically works but takes more time than is necessary, by definition, is the [https://www.geeksforgeeks.org/sleep-sort-in-python/ sleep sort].

The humor lies in the absurdity of intentionally slowing down a sorting algorithm to match a desired runtime profile. This defeats the purpose of optimization, as the goal of sorting algorithms is typically to minimize time spent, not to pad it with unnecessary delays. (Delays may be necessary for other functional reasons, but are an antithesis of the kind of optimality sought here.) If the artificial sleep were removed, the algorithm would revert to its true O(''n'' log ''n'') efficiency, making the "linear sort" label both deceptive and wastefully unnecessary.

The title text extends the joke by referencing "best" and "worst" cases, concepts in {{w|algorithm analysis}} that describe how the runtime varies with different inputs. For the "linear sort," the best and worst cases are identical because the sleep function forces the runtime to always be O(''n''), regardless of the input. The "worst case for the author," however, is when someone examines the code, exposes the fraud, and damages their reputation—a humorous twist on the idea of worst-case scenarios.

==Transcript==
{{incomplete transcript|Do NOT delete this tag too soon.}}
:[The panel shows five lines of code:]
:function LinearSort(list):
::StartTime=Time()
::MergeSort(list)
::Sleep(1e6*length(list)-(Time()-StartTime))
::return

:[Caption below the panel:]
:How to sort a list in linear time

{{comic discussion}}

[[Category:Programming]]

2838: Dubious Islands

2024-12-13T00:49:18Z

Whoop whoop pull up: /* Transcript */

{{comic
| number = 2838
| date = October 6, 2023
| title = Dubious Islands
| image = dubious_islands_2x.png
| imagesize = 740x1040px
| noexpand = true
| titletext = Running for office in Minnesota on the single-issue platform 'dig a permanent channel through the Traverse Gap because it will make this map more satisfying.'
}}

==Explanation==
The definition of "island" is a piece of subcontinental land completely surrounded by a body (or perhaps bodies) of water. In most cases we don't count rivers and canals as the surrounding bodies,{{Actual citation needed}} although small pieces of land like Manhattan are exceptions, as is any bit of land entirely surrounded by the ''same'' watercourse, that splits around it. Inland islands surrounded by rivers can be called a [https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/holm "holm"].

In this comic, however, Randall considers various large parts of {{w|North America}} as "dubious" islands because they're separated from other parts of the continent by various major rivers, canals, and large lakes. The repetition between the title "Dubious Islands" and the in-image label "Dubious Islands of North America" emphasizes the "Dubious-ness" of this map.

Randall's map's "Dubious Islands" are indeed not to be trusted — they leave out many less prominent rivers and canals which would break the map into many more additional "islands". For example, southern Nova Scotia, southern New Jersey, and the nearly 60-mile-long "Grand Strand" of South Carolina are also islands by the sense used here in recognizing the Cape Cod Canal as creating an island. These and many other omissions would be errors — except that Randall clearly labelled his islands "Dubious" (not to be trusted) from the start, and he is presumably well-aware of this map's stretching of reality.

The geography around the area known as {{w|Parting of the Waters}} explains the connection between the Yellowstone and Snake Rivers shown. {{w|Isa Lake}} drains into both the Snake River (via the Lewis River) and the Madison River (via the Firehole River), explaining the connection there. It is unclear why {{w|Divide Creek}}, which connects Hudson Bay to the Columbia River, or {{w|Committee's Punch Bowl}}, which connects the Arctic Ocean with the Columbia River, are not shown on this map.

The title text suggests that the map could be improved by digging a canal through the {{w|Traverse Gap}}, thereby splitting the large red "island" into two smaller "islands" with more pleasing shapes. Randall proposes to run for office in Minnesota (where the Traverse Gap is located) on the platform of digging this canal. This is unnecessary and would create little benefit to residents,{{Actual citation needed}} but constituents who like interesting maps might vote for him.

These islands are possibly Randall's humorous interpretation of the possible effects of drastic erosion (perhaps caused by continued climate change) inducing increased water movement. Sea level rise might also provoke some of these disconnections, but as some of the connecting waterways exist at over 7000 feet (over 2km) in elevation, this would require a worldwide {{w|rise in sea-level}} (and/or localised {{w|Atlantis|fall of land}}) that would cause other changes to the map of North America.

==Transcript==
:[Title:] Dubious Islands of North America
:[Subtitle:] And the waterways that separate them

:[A map of mainland North America, down to the Panama isthmus. It is internally separated by various waterways, given labels or otherwise.]

:[Separating land approximating Nunavut (with some Northwest Territories) from neighbouring Canada:] Mackenzie Athabasca Churchill

:[Comprising the much of the remainder of Canada, much of the northern United States (including Alaska), additionally separated by:] Columbia Snake Madison Missouri Chicago [Unlabelled, some of the Great Lakes and the channel past Quebec]
::[An incursive gap near the central point, from the north:] Nelson Red
::[An internal label, with arrow:] Traverse Gap
::[An incursive gap near the central point, from the south:] Mississippi
::[A separate fragment of land south of the Madison, in the western half of the land-mass, bordered to its south by:] Yellowstone
::[A small fragment off the southen part of the western edge, an arrow and a label:] Chehalis/Black Lake

:[Nova Scotia, New Brunswick and parts of the adjacent US, disconnected by:] Champlain Hudson
::[Label with an arrow on the east coast:] Cape Cod Canal

:[A small triangle of territory, further isolated by:] Erie

:[Most of the Eastern Seaboard of the US, additionally divided off by:] Tombigbee
::[Fragment of land shorn from the northern part of the eastern edge, label with arrow:] Chesapeake and Delaware Canal
::[Fragment of land shorn from the tip of Florida, label with arrow:] Okeechobee Waterway

:[Strip of land west of the Tombigbee, bounded also to its west by:] Mississippi
::[Fragment of land immediately to its south, with a nearby label and arrow:] Atchafalaya

:[The remainder of the continent; comprising much of the US, all of Mexico and various central American territories, with a final tip of the eastwards-bending isthmus:] Panama Canal

{{comic discussion}}
[[Category:Maps]]
[[Category:Comics with color]]
[[Category:Politics]]

3007: Probabilistic Uncertainty

2024-11-12T02:36:44Z

Whoop whoop pull up: /* Explanation */

{{comic
| number = 3007
| date = November 4, 2024
| title = Probabilistic Uncertainty
| image = probabilistic_uncertainty_2x.png
| imagesize = 474x385px
| noexpand = true
| titletext = "One popular strategy is to enter an emotional spiral. Could that be the right approach? We contacted several researchers who are experts in emotional spirals to ask them, but none of them were in a state to speak with us."
}}

==Explanation==
This comic is about the difficulty of dealing psychologically with 50/50 odds, and is likely inspired by the {{W|2024 United States presidential election}}, as this comic was released the day prior. The odds of the election as reported by many media sources were close to 50/50<ref>https://www.270towin.com/2024-presidential-election-polls/</ref><ref>https://www.nytimes.com/interactive/2024/us/elections/polls-president.html</ref><ref>https://projects.fivethirtyeight.com/polls/president-general/2024/national/</ref>, where the pre-election polls showed roughly a 50/50 chance of either {{w|Kamala Harris}} or {{w|Donald Trump}} being elected. It seems more and more people suffer from pre-election anxiety<ref>https://www.cnet.com/health/mental/stressed-about-election-day-9-expert-approved-protect-your-mental-health/</ref><ref>https://www.cbsnews.com/news/election-2024-stress-anxiety-tips-experts/</ref><ref>https://jedfoundation.org/resource/election-stress-tips-to-manage-anxious-feelings-about-politics/</ref><ref>https://fortune.com/well/article/election-anxiety/</ref><ref>https://www.nytimes.com/2024/11/04/us/politics/election-anxiety.html</ref> and the uncertainty of the results doesn't help.
This 50/50 scenario is the third scenario shown in the comic.

Further, with regards to N/A - the odds of "precisely" 50/50 are probabilistically zero, unless the event under consideration is something relatively trivial such as a coinflip or die roll (and even with those it is extremely unlikely the coins or dice are perfectly "fair"). Any scenario that involves social sciences, such as an election (or even a single relationship) will never be precisely 50/50 (or, indeed, *any* discrete value).

{| class="wikitable"
!Odds
!How to think about it in an emotionally healthy way
!Explanation
|-
| Good outcome more likely || Recognize that the bad outcome is possible, but be reassured that the odds are in your favor || An optimistic attitude with a dose of realism.
|-
| Bad outcome more likely || Prepare for the bad outcome while remembering that the future isn't certain and hope is justified || A realistic attitude with a dose of optimism.
|-
| Precisely 50/50 || ????? N/A ???? || {{w|N/A}} stands for "not available", "no answer", "not applicable" or "not assessed". The actual worst case scenario, with no single obvious stance to take. (Thus also leaving ambiguous which fall-back position one should prepare to hold in reserve.)
|}

When facing a situation with equal odds of a positive or negative outcome, it is possible to prepare emotionally for either result. Here are some strategies to consider:

;Acknowledge and accept uncertainty
:Recognize that uncertainty is a natural part of life. By accepting that you cannot control the outcome, you can reduce anxiety and focus on what you can manage—your response.

;Practice {{w|defensive pessimism}}
:This strategy involves setting low expectations and contemplating potential negative outcomes. By doing so, you can prepare yourself to handle setbacks and reduce anxiety. Research indicates that defensive pessimism can be an effective way to manage stress and improve performance.

;Develop {{w|coping}} mechanisms
:Equip yourself with strategies to manage emotions regardless of the outcome. Techniques such as mindfulness, deep breathing, and positive self-talk can help maintain emotional balance.

;Focus on what you can control
:Concentrate on aspects within your control, such as your effort, preparation, and attitude. This focus can empower you and reduce feelings of helplessness.

;Set realistic expectations
:Understand that both success and failure are possibilities. By setting realistic expectations, you can mitigate disappointment and appreciate positive outcomes more fully.

;Seek support
:Discuss your feelings and concerns with trusted friends, family, or a mental health professional. Sharing your thoughts can provide relief and offer new perspectives.

By practicing those strategies, you may prepare yourself emotionally to handle either outcome with resilience and composure.

The title text is a joke making use of ambiguous wording: "researchers who are experts in emotional spirals" could either refer to researchers who study emotional spirals, or researchers who are undergoing emotional spirals themselves. Evidently, all the researchers "we" contacted were the latter, and thus unable to advise the comic.

==Transcript==
{{incomplete transcript|Do NOT delete this tag too soon.}}
[A table titled "Coping With Probabilistic Uncertainty", with two columns labeled "Scenario" and "How to think about it in an emotionally healthy way". The boxes in the Scenario column contains text followed by a rectangle split into two parts; the left part is a smiley face, the right part is a frowny face with slanted, angry eyes.]

Row 1, column 1: "Good outcome more likely". The smiley face portion of the rectangle is about 75%.
Row 1, column 2: "Recognize that the bad outcome is possible, but be reassured that the odds are in your favor".

Row 2, column 1: "Bad outcome more likely". The smiley face portion of the rectangle is about 25%.
Row 2, column 2: "Prepare for the bad outcome while remembering that the future isn't certain and hope is justified".

Row 3, column 1: "Precisely 50/50". The rectangle is split in half.
Row 3, column 2: "????? N/A ????"

==Trivia==
* This comic was posted a day before Election Day in the US, where the media has been reporting (based off of voter polls) that the 2 presidential candidates ([[Kamala Harris]] and [[Donald Trump]]) are closely contesting for the White House. This may be a possible reason behind the creation of this comic.

* Randall has dealt with the possibility of a tied electoral count 12 years before in ''what-if? [https://what-if.xkcd.com/19 #19]''

==References==
{{reflist}}

{{comic discussion}}

[[Category:Psychology]] [[Category:Statistics]]

1083: Writing Styles

2024-11-05T05:41:30Z

Whoop whoop pull up: /* Explanation */

{{comic
| number = 1083
| date = July 18, 2012
| title = Writing Styles
| image = writing_styles.png
| titletext = I liked the idea, suggested by h00k on bash.org, of a Twitter bot that messages prominent politicians to tell them when they've unnecessarily used sms-speak abbreviations despite having plenty of characters left.
}}

==Explanation==
SMS-speak is a style of communication which involves substituting numbers for letters and shortening phrases to get a longer idea across in fewer characters at the cost of readability. The practice began first with text messages, also known as {{w|Short Message Service|SMS}}, or Short Message Service, which limited messages to 160 characters (exacerbated by the fact that flip phones without keyboards require multiple button-presses to type most letters or symbols using the phone's numeric keypad, making messages slow and laborious to compose and incentivizing users to minimize the length of their messages even further). Twitter has adopted a 140 character limit since its inception, which allowed any given tweet to be received as an SMS message with enough room for the user's Twitter handle (15 characters max). Randall is poking fun at both the stereotypical Senator and at teenagers supporting [[Ron Paul]].

The dig at the senator refers to poor use of SMS-style abbreviations by older, less tech-savvy politicians who are hoping to appear more in tune with the modern world. Many politicians use SMS-speak in cases when their message isn't in danger of the character limit, but where they are appealing to a younger demographic, thinking it makes them appear to be "modern" to their target audience. In reality, it may do the opposite, showing that they do not understand why SMS-speak is used at all.

Conversely modern teenagers, often stereotyped as lacking proper writing skills due to character limits on services such as SMS and twitter, instead here produce coherent sentences expressing a political view (this is later discussed in [[1414: Writing Skills]]). There is a subtle dig that being drawn to Ron Paul is a stereotypical political position for a teenager, as Paul is ideologically libertarian, and the implication is that libertarianism is a position held while younger and politically or economically naive. Randall has also poked fun at libertarianism on several other occasions, such as [[610: Sheeple]], [[1026: Compare and Contrast]], [[1049: Bookshelf]] and [[1277: Ayn Random]]. The teenager's tweet is almost identical to the stereotypical Paul-ite comment made fun of in the title text to [[1026]]: "Only Ron Paul offers a TRUE alternative!". A few years ago, the sentence attributed to the teenager is the sort of thing that would stereotypically be assigned to a senator, while the sentence attributed to the senator would be stereotypically assigned to a teenager - however, now the situation has changed and so Randall comments that the internet has ended up in "kind of a weird place".

The title text discusses an idea that Randall approves of, [http://bash.org/?946687 originally suggested] by a user on bash.org called h00k, where a twitter bot be created to message politicians when they use SMS-speak unnecessarily. This would presumably embarrass said politicians, which might in turn lead to a decrease in their use of SMS-speak. Randall evidently considers this a good thing, suggesting he finds the unnecessary use of SMS-speak annoying.

==Transcript==
:[This is a chart with the above two labeled columns. The rows will be represented below in the same format.]
:If you post: you sound like
:"Ron Paul is the only candidate who offers us a real choice!": A teenager
:"its gettin l8 so ill b here 4 prob 2 more hrs tops": A senator
:The internet has wound up in kind of a weird place.

==Trivia==
When this comic came out in 2012, the twitter limit was actually 140 characters. It has since doubled to 280, to allow longer messages, and due to the declining popularity of SMS.
{{comic discussion}}
[[Category:Comics featuring Ron Paul]]
[[Category:Charts]]
[[Category:Language]]
[[Category:Politics]]
[[Category:Computers]]
[[Category:Comics featuring real people]]
[[Category:Comics featuring politicians]]

2963: House Inputs and Outputs

2024-10-23T16:43:38Z

Whoop whoop pull up: /* Explanation */

{{comic
| number = 2963
| date = July 24, 2024
| title = House Inputs and Outputs
| image = house_inputs_and_outputs_2x.png
| imagesize = 740x684px
| noexpand = true
| titletext = People think power over ethernet is so great, and yet when I try to do water over ethernet everyone yells at me.
}}

==Explanation==
This is another comic in a series depicting {{w|confusion matrix|confusion matrices}}, similar to [[2813: What To Do]], [[2420: Appliances]], and [[1890: What to Bring]]. It is arranged as a table of five columns of conduits to and from a house, by five rows of resources and people, each of which typically enter, exit or both enter ''and'' exit the house via at least one of the identified conduits. The table cells have a green background for compatible methods of transit; a red tint is used for the more problematic pairings. Each panel can be read as "[row label] [entering and/or exiting] the house via the [column label]", for example, "Fresh water entering the house via the well".

{| class="wikitable" style="background-color: #E6C3C3;"
|+ Explanations of the "House Inputs and Outputs" table cell drawings
! !! Well !! Garage !! Power lines !! Front door !! Septic tank
|-
! Fresh water (Input)
|style="background-color: #C5E6C3;"| The purpose of a well is usually to supply fresh water into the home, primarily for drinking or washing. It may be unnecessary in many places if a reliable {{w|water supply network}} is available. || Long gone are the days of {{w|Labours_of_Hercules#Fifth:_Augean_stables|having to clean up after your primary mode of transportation}}, for most people. A source of water may be useful to clean a vehicle itself, although this would perhaps be more commonly done outside. || Power lines conduct electricity, not water. The two functions are inherently dangerous if carelessly combined. Water can be used to cool high-energy lines, such as fast battery charger cables[https://www.connectortips.com/where-liquid-cooled-connectors-and-connectors-for-liquid-cooling-used-in-evs-faq/] and cables supplying electric arc furnaces, but not overhead residential power lines. || Many people prefer to control the amount of water they get, and contain it to a controlled area, since the water may damage things inside the house. || Pumping water into a septic tank could cause it to back up, resulting in the unpleasant contents being forced back in to the house. Also, if this were the only supply of water, most people would prefer anything they drink not to contain (or go through pipes that have contained) sewage.
|-
! Cars (Input/Output)
| Most cars can't fit inside most wells. Storing them in a well is also likely to be inconvenient when you come to need to use them again.
|style="background-color: #C5E6C3;"| Garages are in fact built for the storage of cars and other similarly-sized vehicles. Placing a car in one will both help protect it from the elements and make it easier to access from inside your own home. || The illustration has the car actually balancing upon the strained wire, a rather difficult 'track' to drive upon, even assuming the cable is strong enough to withstand the forces. || Most cars can’t fit through a typical front door, and are likely to cause damage if forced. || Comedian {{w|Garrison Keillor}}'s 2008 ''More News from Lake Wobegon'' includes a story where an old septic tank is discovered to actually be a buried car.[https://theseriouscomedysite.com/comedy-cd-or-download/garrison-keillor-more-news-from-lake-wobegon/]
|-
! Electricity (Input)
| Wells are not designed to safely and effectively transfer electrical power to the devices that require it. The water would mostly just conduct the electricity into the surrounding construction. || In the United States, lightning is responsible for causing around 24,600 structure fires annually, resulting in $8 to $10 billion in losses.
|style="background-color: #C5E6C3;"| Power lines are designed to facilitate the connection of individual homes to the broader local power network. [[Randall]] omits the fact that electricity can also be an output; e.g. houses with solar panels regularly export electricity too. || {{w|Benjamin Franklin}} invented the {{w|lightning rod}} to prevent lightning strike damage to structures. || As Knit Cap observes, septic tanks are not a source of electric power.
|-
! People (Input/Output)
|style="background-color: #E6C3C3"| Being inside a well is very dangerous for most people.{{Citation needed}} The comic depicts a view from inside a well (as a [[:Category:Comics with inverted brightness|dark scene]], it is drawn red-on-black). The motif resembles poster art for the 2002 horror movie remake ''{{w|The Ring (2002 film)|The Ring}}'', which involves a girl left to die in a well who becomes a vengeful ghost (see also [[396: The Ring]]).
|style="background-color: #C5E6C3;"| A person can enter and exit their home through a garage door, provided the garage has an internal door to the rest of the home (as is usually the case for attached garages like the one in the image). Though it is perhaps a fairly common way for such a house's residents to conveniently enter and exit, it isn't generally the best way to welcome or discharge most guests. || Overhead power lines to homes are generally not strong enough to climb, and attempting to do so incurs a very serious risk of electrocution.
|style="background-color: #C5E6C3;"| The front door of a home is designed for entry and exit of humans and similarly sized items. || In general, people find crawling through waste unpleasant. Also, the septic tank is not connected to the street.
|-
! Sewage (Output)
| Sewage in drinking water can cause disease. It is/was the main cause for most {{w|cholera}} epidemics, which was clarified by {{w|John Snow}} during 1854 cholera outbreak in London.
|colspan=3| Sewage spills are smelly, disgusting and hard to clean. They can destroy carpets, floors, drywall and property value.
|style="background-color: #C5E6C3;"| A {{w|septic tank}} is an underground chamber through which wastewater flows for basic {{w|sewage treatment}}.
|}

The title text references {{w|Power over Ethernet|power over ethernet (PoE)}}, first implemented in the early 2000s, to provide electric power along with data on twisted-pair Ethernet cabling. A welcome development, it removed the need for many separate power supplies. While networked water delivery ("running water") is also a welcome development, doing so over ethernet cables would be extremely problematic, risking several top points of failure, while providing limited amounts of water. However, again, electric vehicle fast charging cables and arc furnace power inputs are sometimes water-cooled.

==Transcript==
{{incomplete transcript|Do NOT delete this tag too soon.}}

:[A 5x5 grid of squares. The columns are labeled: Well, Garage, Power lines, Front door, Septic tank. Each row's label has an arrow and a basic house icon next to it. The rows are: Fresh water (horizontal arrow towards house), Cars (two-directional horizontal arrow and house), Electricity (horizontal arrow into house), People (two-directional horizontal arrow and house), Sewage (vertical arrow out of bottom of house).]

:Well, Fresh water: [green]
::[A many-featured house front and cross-sectional subsurface infrastructure, with various aspects that recur throughout most further grid-squares in one or other form. This particular one is distinguished by an arrow indicating movement up through a pipe leading inwards from an adjacent external borehole]
::Voice from house: Mmm! Refreshing!

:Garage, Fresh water: [red]
::[An obliquely off-frontal view of the house, featuring a set of Cueball-like figures directing a hosepipe's stream of water into the open garage-port doorway]
::''Fwoosh''

:Power lines, Fresh water: [red]
::[A different oblique angle concentrated upon the edge of the house upon which the overhead powerlines connect to, from a pole with transformer box and other wire coming from off-frame; the house wire appears to be dripping liquid]

:Front door, Fresh water: [red]
::[Normal frontal view of the house, featuring the hosepipe cueballs directing water into the front door]
::Voice from house: Stop it!
::''Fwoosh!''

:Septic tank, Fresh water: [red]
::[Normal frontal view; The subsurface septic tank feature has an arrow leading up from it through the diagonal pipe that connects to the house itself]
::Voice from house: Eww.

:Well, Cars: [red]
::[A view only of a ground pipe/borehole-head; A car seemingly upended and balanced atop on a front corner, being manhandled by Cueball and Megan figures]

:Garage, Cars: [green]
::[Normal frontal view; Garage door open, car seen parked inside]

:Power lines, Cars: [red]
::[Two power-line poles, the rightmost with transformer, having cables from off-left, between the poles and off-right; Two cueballs stand on the ground below, looking at a car heavily balanced mid-way along the central stretch of wire]

:Front door, Cars: [red]
::[Frontal view of house; Front doorway has surrounding damage and a car tightly wedged into it with two figures (Beret Guy and a Cueball) visible through the windows]
::Beret Guy, from car: Do you think I scratched the paint?

:Septic tank, Cars: [red]
::[Frontal view of the house; Within the underground sceptic tank, displacing some of the shallow dark liquid, is a car with two occupants]

:Well, Electricity: [red]
::[Borehole pipe-head; Cueball holds a laptop with a power lead trailing down into the pipe]
::Cueball's laptop: ⚠Low battery

:Garage, Electricity: [red]
::[Frontal view of house, with lightning strike explosively hitting the area of the garage door]
::''BOOM''

:Power lines, Electricity: [green]
::[Frontal view of house, arrow leading down the power-cable and several 'electricity' symbols scattered around]

:Front door, Electricity: [red]
::[Frontal view of house, with lightning strike explosively hitting the area of the front door]
::''BOOM''

:Septic tank, Electricity: [red]
::[Toilet and cistern, seat raised, with Knit Cap looking at a computer system, set up nearby on the floor, with a power lead draped into the toilet-bowl and (sic) a single 'electricity' symbol indicating power flow]
::Knit Cap: Why won't my console turn on?

:Well, People: [red (though overwhelmingly black)]
::[A mostly black tile with a rough circular outline of sketchy red lines]

:Garage, People: [green]
::[Frontal view of house; A Cueball exits the open (darkened) garage doorway, waving]
::Cueball: Bye!

:Power lines, People: [red]
::[Oblique side view of house; A Cueball is climbing up the power-line towards the top of the pole]
::Cueball: Bye!

:Front door, People: [green]
::[Frontal view of house; A cueball exits the open front doorway, waving]
::Cueball: Bye!

:Septic tank, People: [red]
::[Frontal view of house; A Cueball crawls into the elbow-deep dark liquid of the subsurface septic tank, emerging from the house-draining pipes]
::Cueball: Bye!

:Well, Sewage: [red]
::[Frontal view of house; Speech-line emerges from the house]
::Voice from house: ''Why do I keep getting sick???

:Garage, Sewage: [red]
::[Frontal view of house; Garage door is open, revealing Cueball knee-deep in dark liquid]
::Cueball: Oh no.

:Power lines, Sewage: [red]
::[Oblique side view of house; Wide pipe-end emerges from the roof, disgorging a stream of dark liquid out onto the rising power-cable]
::Cueball: Eww.

:Front door, Sewage: [red]
::[Frontal view of house; Front door is open, revealing Cueball knee-deep in dark liquid]
::Cueball: Oh ''no''.

:Septic tank, Sewage: [green]
::[Frontal view of house; Dark liquid drains down drain-pipes into sceptic tank, with an arrow indicating the direction of flow]
::''Flush''

{{comic discussion}}

[[Category:Comics with color]]
[[Category:Comics with inverted brightness]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Cueball]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Megan]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Knit Cap]]
[[Category:Confusion matrices]]
[[Category:Multiple Cueballs]]
[[Category:Charts]]

2813: What To Do

2024-10-23T16:23:52Z

Whoop whoop pull up: /* Explanation */

{{comic
| number = 2813
| date = August 9, 2023
| title = What To Do
| image = what_to_do_2x.png
| imagesize = 740x723px
| noexpand = true
| titletext = FYI: The 'drop, cover, and hold on' advice only applies to earthquakes. If you encounter a mountain lion, you should absolutely not drop to the ground, crawl under it, and hold on to one of its legs.
}}

==Explanation==

Similar to [[1890: What to Bring]], this comic takes four unrelated dangerous situations (mountain lion sighting, nearby lightning, fire alarm, and bleeding), and tries to mix-and-match the solutions. Predictably, mixing up good advice leads to fairly nonsensical behavior, so only the original four matches are marked green as acceptable. This comic is also similar, to a lesser extent, to [[Appliances]].

The title-text introduces another disaster, an earthquake, into the mix-and-match. A common safety precaution during an earthquake is to [https://www.shakeout.org/dropcoverholdon/ drop, cover, and hold on], which helps prevent you from being thrown about and/or hit by debris. However, attempting to "drop, cover, and hold on" in response to a mountain lion sighting is more likely to get you into danger than out of it.

;Advice

{| class="wikitable" | style="background:#E6C3C3;"
! (problem) vs (solution)
! scope="col"| Stand Up Straight, Speak Firmly, and Slowly Back Away
! scope="col"| Run Toward a Building or Hard-Topped Vehicle
! scope="col"| Calmly Exit the Building
! scope="col"| Apply Firm Pressure
|-
! scope="row"| {{w|mountain lion}}
| style="background:#C5E6C3;"| This is a common recommendation when encountering a mountain lion (puma, cougar, etc) out in nature. One should continue to face the mountain lion because mountain lions like clawing victims in the back of the neck and because facing away means that you can't try to kick the mountain lion in the face if it charges at you.
| Running away may cause the animal to chase you, and it may consider you as prey. If you safely make it into a building or vehicle, you may be able to hide or drive away from the animal and may be safer than being outdoors with it; however, it is safer to approach said building or vehicle ''slowly'', so as to not provoke the animal.
| Exiting a building and approaching the animal is not a good idea. If the animal is inside the building, however, it is recommended to combine this advice with (1).
| Applying "firm pressure" to the (wild) animal is a terrible idea and may result in injury or death, mainly because one has to be close to it in order to touch it. Applying light pressure to a domesticated cat may make it less likely to attack, but wild cats do not respond positively to it.
|-
! scope="row"| {{w|lightning}}
| Yelling at lightning is [https://shakespeare.mit.edu/lear/lear.3.2.html ineffective]. Also, making yourself stand more erect to maximize your apparent height and backing away slowly from a lightning strike will make you more of a target as you will then become more prominent above the surrounding terrain.
| style="background:#C5E6C3;"| This is the recommended solution when encountering lightning - to go indoors or inside of a hard-topped vehicle to avoid being struck. Either of these options will function as a rudimentary Faraday cage if lightning does strike your location, taking the brunt of the lightning and directing the charge away from the vulnerable humans inside. (Contrary to popular belief, a car's rubber tires offer no protection from lightning, compared to the body of the car itself)
| Exiting a building is a poor idea, as the risk of getting struck by lightning is increased, as are the chances of being caught in any associated rainstorm or fulminogenic fire.
| There is no safe way to "apply firm pressure" to lightning. In the diagram, Cueball applies pressure to the tree, which is just about the worst possible thing to do in a storm, as when lightning strikes the tree the electric charge will pass through Cueball, not to mention the associated risk of the tree exploding or a limb detaching and falling on him.
|-
! scope="row"| {{w|fire alarm}}
| Yelling at a fire alarm is ineffective. {{citation needed}}
| When a fire alarm is sounding, it is terrible advice to run ''towards'' the sound of the alarm, unless you are a trained fire fighter with suitable tools. If, however, you happen to be the cause of the fire, running towards a vehicle is completely understandable.
| style="background:#C5E6C3;"| This is the recommended advice when hearing a fire alarm - to calmly exit the building, and move to a safe location.
| Applying firm pressure to a fire alarm will not result in stopping the alarm, unless you are able to damage the device, suppress the sound (either by covering the noisemaker or by pressing the alarm's button to temporarily silence it), or block the fire alarm sensors. Regardless, this will not stop the actual fire. Also, there is no safe way to "apply firm pressure" to fire, unless applying firm pressure is interpreted as using a fire blanket.
|-
! scope="row"| {{w|bleeding}}
| Yelling at a bleeding wound is [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZmInkxbvlCs ineffective]. Yelling at a bleeding person may make them feel worse.
| Running toward a building or vehicle is not a typical solution if someone is bleeding, and the increase in heart rate from running may make the injury bleed more quickly. However, there could be medical supplies and/or medically trained people (nurses, doctors, paramedics, etc.) inside the building or vehicle, so this idea is not completely incorrect.
| Exiting a building is not helpful if someone is bleeding, if either the exiting one is the injured one, or the non-injured one. Although, if someone/something in the building (such as a mountain lion) is the cause of the bleeding, this could be a good idea so that the bleeding or injury does not get worse.
| style="background:#C5E6C3;"| This is the recommended solution to stop bleeding - apply firm pressure to staunch the bleeding, using some kind of absorbent material (cloth bandages are the gold standard, but any clean fabric (such as clothing, towels, sheets etc.) will suffice), or, '''if you are trained in first-aid''' and the bleeding is particularly heavy, applying a tourniquet around the limb above the wound.
|}

==Transcript==
:[The comic is laid out like a grid, with situations down the left-hand side (mountain lion / lightning / fire alarm / bleeding) and the solutions across the top (stand up straight, speak firmly, and slowly back away / run toward a building or hard-topped vehicle / calmly exit the building / apply firm pressure ). The grid illustrates the "match-ups", with a green square denoting a "correct" match-up and a red square denoting a bad idea.]

:[From the top left corner, going from left to right, top to bottom, with each first item being on its own line in the grid, the squares are as follows:]

:[Green square, a mountain lion (drawn as a large cat) sits on the left, on a perch. Cueball and Megan have their arms raised and are speaking to it. Lines in front of them indicate they are backing up.]
:Cueball: ''HEY. STOP.''
:Megan: ''SHOO.''
:*'''stand up straight, speak firmly, and slowly back away''' -> '''mountain lion'''

:[Red square, Cueball and Megan are being chased by a mountain lion, and are running towards a building to their right.]
:*'''run toward a building or hard-topped vehicle''' -> '''mountain lion'''

:[Red square, Cueball and Megan exit a building and approach a mountain lion.]
:Megan: ''Hello.''
:*'''calmly exit the building''' -> '''mountain lion'''

:[Red square, Cueball is putting his hands firmly on a mountain lion.]
:*'''apply firm pressure''' -> '''mountain lion'''

:[Red square, lightning strikes a tree. Cueball is standing outside, with his arms raised, yelling at the lightning. Lines in front of him indicate he is backing up.]
:''BOOM''
:Cueball: ''NO!''
:*'''stand up straight, speak firmly, and slowly back away''' -> '''lightning'''

:[Green square, lightning strikes a tree. Cueball and Megan run toward a building to their right.]
:''BOOM''
:*'''run toward a building or hard-topped vehicle''' -> '''lightning'''

:[Red square, lightning strikes a tree. Cueball and Megan exit a building and approach the lightning-struck tree.]
:''BOOM''
:*''' calmly exit the building''' -> '''lightning'''

:[Red square, lightning strikes a tree. Cueball pushes on the lightning-struck tree.]
:''BOOM''
:*'''apply firm pressure''' -> '''lightning'''

:[Red square, a fire alarm is beeping. Cueball yells at the alarm, with his arms raised. Lines in front of him indicates he is backing up.]
:''BEEP BEEP BEEP''
:Cueball: ''HEY.''
:*'''stand up straight, speak firmly, and slowly back away ''' -> '''fire alarm'''

:[Red square, a fire alarm is beeping next to a building with flames on its roof. Cueball and Megan run toward the burning building.]
:''BEEP BEEP BEEP''
:*'''run toward a building or hard-topped vehicle''' -> '''fire alarm'''

:[Green square, a fire alarm is beeping next to a house with flames on its roof. Cueball and Megan are exiting the burning building.]
:''BEEP BEEP BEEP''
:*'''calmly exit the building''' -> '''fire alarm'''

:[Red square, a fire alarm is beeping, and Cueball is trying to "suppress" the beeping sound. Behind him are flames.]
:''BEEP BEEP BE-eep eep eep eep eep''
:*'''apply firm pressure''' -> '''fire alarm'''

:[Red square, Cueball is bleeding from his right arm, and holds it. Megan to his right yells at him with her arms raised. Lines in front of her indicates she is backing up.]
:Megan: ''HEY!''
:Megan: ''STOP IT!''
:*'''stand up straight, speak firmly, and slowly back away''' -> '''bleeding'''

:[Red square, Megan, holding a first aid kit in one hand and a bandage in the other, runs with a bleeding Cueball towards a building to their right.]
:*'''run toward a building or hard-topped vehicle''' -> '''bleeding'''

:[Red square, Megan holds a bandage, and to the ground in front of her is a first aid kit. Cueball is walking to the right of the panel, with an injured and bloody left arm raised.]
:Cueball: Bye!
:*'''calmly exit the building''' -> '''bleeding'''

:[Green square, Cueball sits in a chair and Megan is treating him by putting her hands on his injured limb. Behind her on the ground is a first aid kit.]
:*'''apply firm pressure''' -> '''bleeding'''

{{comic discussion}}

[[Category:Comics with color]]
[[Category:Confusion matrices]]
[[Category:Charts]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Megan]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Cueball]]
[[Category:Animals]]
[[Category:Weather]]

2420: Appliances

2024-10-23T16:09:51Z

Whoop whoop pull up: /* Table */

{{comic
| number = 2420
| date = February 3, 2021
| title = Appliances
| image = appliances.png
| titletext = If you had an oven bag and a dryer that runs unusually hot, I guess you could in theory make tumbled eggs.
}}

==Explanation==

This comic shows a {{w|confusion matrix}} of the applicability of various household appliances to different tasks. Green indicates an excellent performance, yellow not ideal, but usable, and red dismal or destroyed. The diagonal is green as it shows the tasks done by the machines they are supposed to be performed by. See [[#Table|table]] below. The comic is similar to [[1890: What to Bring]], [[2813: What To Do]], and [[2963: House Inputs and Outputs]], but those comics do not use yellow or another intermediate color.

Plain salmon fillets can be easily {{w|Dishwasher salmon|cooked in a dishwasher}}, so it is marked "cooked", and thus "cook a frozen dinner" is only yellow on the dishwasher entry, rather than full red. This might also apply to most other types of fish (trout, which is evolutionarily a type of salmon, was a prior subject for this process), as commercially-prepared frozen dinners tend to be breaded white fish such as cod, mackerel, smelt, etc. for price and logistical reasons (retaining their taste and firmness through the cooking, freezing, thawing and reheating processes). That's if it is not a recipe built around fish, as with a tuna casserole, in which case it is probably entirely subject to whether the whole of the pre-cooked and frozen meal can be sufficiently defrosted and raised to a safe and palatable temperature.

The stove/oven has three green as it can also cook a microwave frozen dinner, although slower, and can toast bread, again slower than the toaster. It is by far the machine that has the fewest red entries, only one, as it cannot wash clothes. It can also not clean dishes, but it might sterilize them, thus that entry is yellow. It may actually dry the clothes, but is liable to burn them and is therefore yellow.

The microwave oven can also cook eggs, thus it has two green, the only other than the stove/oven with more than one green.

The toaster and the washing machines are the only ones without any yellow, and with only one green, for making toast/washing clothes - they are thus the appliances with the fewest other potential uses (zero). The washing machine will at least not destroy the clothes if you try to dry them, but it has the opposite effect, thus still red. The toaster will potentially just make the dirt on the dishes burn harder, and additionally appears to have melted the tines of the fork.

The title text mentions that it would be theoretically possible to cook eggs in a dryer, but it is not a common use for a dryer.{{Citation needed}} The joke is that it is not called {{w|scrambled eggs}} but tumbled eggs. It also mentions that the dryer has to become hotter than usual for a dryer (maybe dangerously hot for the clothes for it to work). And then the eggs should be cracked and put in an oven bag, that really needs to be tight and well zipped.

The table displays a diagonal line of greens from top-left to bottom-right, as is typical with a table where the first row option is deliberately compatible with the first column option, the second row with the second column, etc. What is perhaps more interesting is where the non-diagonal greens appear (and, to some extent, the yellows), indicating appliances or uses that are more flexible and range beyond being of a mere one-trick pony.

==Table==
{| class="wikitable" style="background-color: #E6C3C3;"
!
! scope="col"| {{w|Toaster}}
! scope="col"| {{w|Dishwasher}}
! scope="col"| {{w|Microwave oven|Microwave}}
! scope="col"| {{w|Washing machine}}
! scope="col"| {{w|Kitchen stove|Stove/oven}}
! scope="col"| {{w|Clothes dryer|Dryer}}
|-
! scope="row"| Make toast
|style="background-color: #C5E6C3;"| Yes, a toaster's function is to make toast from bread.{{citation needed}}
| No. A dishwasher would likely turn bread into mush, and the result is unlikely to be edible.
| No. A microwave could heat up bread, but would not brown the bread and make it crunchy. In this image, it appears that the bread is getting unevenly burnt.
| No. A washing machine would break the bread into several pieces and is unlikely to be edible.
|style="background-color: #C5E6C3;"| Yes, toast can be made using a stove or an oven.
| No. A dryer would burn the bread due to its heat and would break it up into crumbs due to its tumbling.
|-
! scope="row"| Wash dishes
| No. A toaster would not be able to wash dishes and is likely to do nothing to make them clean (again, other than sterilization by heat). Also, toasters get hot enough to potentially deform or melt metal cutlery, especially since many kinds of cutlery have tines or handles thin enough to fit between the wires of the toaster baskets and come close to or touch the heating elements (which would pose an additional electrocution hazard); this is probably why this scenario is marked red instead of yellow, as the fork in the image appears to have been partially melted by the heat.
|style="background-color: #C5E6C3;"| Yes, a dishwasher's function is to wash dishes.
| No. A microwave cannot clean dishes, or even sterilize them through exposure to adequate heat, as glass/ceramic or plastic dishes cannot absorb microwave radiation in sufficient quantities to generate heat. Metal cutlery can, but only specially-designed varieties are supposed to be placed into a microwave because metal usually winds up reflecting the microwaves and causing damage to the oven's interior through electrical discharge.
| No. A washing machine would break the dishes. The pieces would be clean, but unusable as dishes unless more robust than regular crockery.
|style="background-color: #FBF8CE;"| Maybe, a stove or an oven could theoretically sterilize dishes with high heat (but this would not clean off any stains or stuck food particles).
| No. Worse than the washing machine, the tumbling of a dryer would thoroughly pulverize porcelain dishes.
|-
! scope="row"| Cook a {{w|TV dinner|frozen dinner}}
| No. A traditional toaster would not be able to cook a frozen dinner. A {{w|toaster oven}} combination would be able to do so (see stove/oven).
|style="background-color: #FBF8CE;"| Maybe. The fish could be cooked in a dishwasher, however, the rest might not, but this is not a typical use of a dishwasher.
|style="background-color: #C5E6C3;"| Yes, a microwave is normally used to cook a frozen dinner.
| No. A washing machine would make the dinner soggy and inedible.
|style="background-color: #C5E6C3;"| Yes, a stove or an oven could also be used to cook a frozen dinner. The image shows the dinner being removed from its packaging and placed in a baking pan.
| No. A dryer would make the frozen dinner inedible due to its tumbling action.
|-
! scope="row"| Wash clothes
| No. A toaster would not be able to wash clothes and would instead leave burn marks (and potentially set the clothes on fire, as seen in the image).
|style="background-color: #FBF8CE;"| Maybe. A dishwasher would be able to get the clothes wet but the washing may be uneven.
| No. A microwave would just burn the clothes and not do any washing.
|style="background-color: #C5E6C3;"| Yes, a washing machine's function is to wash clothes.
| No, a stove or an oven would burn the clothes and not do any cleaning.
|style="background-color: #FBF8CE;"| Maybe. A dryer would heat the clothes and kill germs, but not get any stains out.
|-
! scope="row"| Cook eggs
| No. A toaster would not be able to cook eggs. The image seems to show that eggs were cracked directly into the toaster, which causes a large plume of smoke.
| No. A dishwasher generally cannot cook eggs. However, it does seem that [https://spoonuniversity.com/how-to/5-foods-cook-dishwasher this is plausible to do].
|style="background-color: #C5E6C3;"| Yes. A microwave could be used to cook eggs, {{w|poached egg|poached style}} as shown in the image, or also {{w|scrambled eggs|scrambled}}.
| No, a washing machine would destroy the eggs.
|style="background-color: #C5E6C3;"| Yes, a stove or an oven is typically used to cook eggs (and other foods).
| No. A dryer would overheat the eggs and tumble them to shreds.
|-
! scope="row"| Dry clothes
| No. A toaster would not be able to dry clothes without leaving burn marks (the heat would get parts of the clothes dry, but is so concentrated that burn marks would appear on the hotter parts while the cooler parts were still wet), although the heat capacity of the water in the wet clothes would at least reduce the chance of actual ignition compared to attempting to clean dry clothes in a toaster (as seen by the shirt in the image "only" having burn marks, instead of actual flames).
| No. A dishwasher would be able to get the clothes wet but would not do any drying.
|style="background-color: #FBF8CE;"| Maybe. A microwave could (unevenly) get clothes dry.
| No, a washing machine's function is to wash clothes and would just get the clothes wet. A washing machine's spin cycle could dry clothes to some extent but is not intended to fully wring all the water out of clothes.
|style="background-color: #FBF8CE;"| Maybe, a stove or an oven could be used to get clothes dry but runs a high risk of burning them, especially on parts that are in contact with metal.
|style="background-color: #C5E6C3;"| Yes, a dryer's function is to dry clothes after they are washed.
|}

==Transcript==

:[The comic is laid out like a grid, with usages for common household appliances the left-hand side (Make toast / Wash dishes / Cook a frozen dinner / Wash clothes / Cook eggs / Dry clothes) and appliances for these activities across the top (Toaster / Dishwasher / Microwave / Washing machine / Stove/oven / Dryer). The grid illustrates the "match-ups", with a green square denoting a "correct" match-up, a yellow square denoting something that may work somewhat, and a red square denoting something that most certainly won't work.]

:[From the top left corner, going from left to right, top to bottom, with each first item being on its own line in the grid, the images in the squares are as follows:]

*'''Make toast''' with a '''Toaster''': Green square, toasted toast with stripe pattern.
*'''Make toast''' with a '''Dishwasher''': Red square, slightly broken soggy toast in a puddle of water.
*'''Make toast''' with a '''Microwave''': Red square, non-toasted and unevenly burnt toast.
*'''Make toast''' with a '''Washing machine''': Red square, a few small soggy pieces of toast in a puddle of water.
*'''Make toast''' with a '''Stove/oven''': Green square, toasted toast with somewhat irregular pattern.
*'''Make toast''' with a '''Dryer''': Red square, large pile of breadcrumbs.
*'''Wash dishes''' with a '''Toaster''': Red square, intact glass, somewhat bent fork with the tines melted into an irregular lump, and slightly cracked and sooty plate.
*'''Wash dishes''' with a '''Dishwasher''': Green square, clean glass, fork, and plate.
*'''Wash dishes''' with a '''Microwave''': Red square, slightly broken glass, intact fork, and sooty plate.
*'''Wash dishes''' with a '''Washing machine''': Red square, broken glass, intact fork, broken plate.
*'''Wash dishes''' with a '''Stove/oven''': Yellow square, Text reading "Sterilized, at least" with an arrow beneath it pointing at a slightly cracked glass, intact fork, and sooty and cracked plate.
*'''Wash dishes''' with a '''Dryer''': Red square, a large pile of broken porcelain and glass with part of a fork sticking out of it.
*'''Cook a frozen dinner''' with a '''Toaster''': Red square, badly burnt food box emitting smoke.
*'''Cook a frozen dinner''' with a '''Dishwasher''': Yellow square, Text reading "Fish might be cooked" with an arrow beneath it pointing at a food box two-thirds filled with water.
*'''Cook a frozen dinner''' with a '''Microwave''': Green square, cooked food box.
*'''Cook a frozen dinner''' with a '''Washing machine''': Red square, crumpled food box two-thirds filled with water.
*'''Cook a frozen dinner''' with a '''Stove/oven''': Green square, sideways view of steaming cooked food box with lid removed.
*'''Cook a frozen dinner''' with a '''Dryer''': Red square, open crumpled food box with burnt edges. Burnt food stuck to the panel's borders.
*'''Wash clothes''' with a '''Toaster''': Red square, smoking T-shirt with large stripe-shaped burns and flames rising from the top.
*'''Wash clothes''' with a '''Dishwasher''': Yellow square, unevenly wet/washed shirt.
*'''Wash clothes''' with a '''Microwave''': Red square, slightly smoking shirt with spread-out burns and some flame on one sleeve.
*'''Wash clothes''' with a '''Washing machine''': Green square, clean wet shirt.
*'''Wash clothes''' with a '''Stove/oven''': Red square, shirt with a large semi-burned area.
*'''Wash clothes''' with a '''Dryer''': Yellow square, slightly dirty-looking shirt.
*'''Cook eggs''' with a '''Toaster''': Red square, toaster emitting a huge cloud of dense smoke.
*'''Cook eggs''' with a '''Dishwasher''': Red square, slightly cracked eggs in a puddle of some kind.
*'''Cook eggs''' with a '''Microwave''': Green square, egg in egg cup with text "(Poached)" beneath.
*'''Cook eggs''' with a '''Washing machine''': Red square, eggshell fragments in a puddle, presumably the egg.
*'''Cook eggs''' with a '''Stove/oven''': Green square, fried egg with beans on a plate.
*'''Cook eggs''' with a '''Dryer''': Red square, a pile of eggshell dust, and possibly scrambled eggs.
*'''Dry clothes''' with a '''Toaster''': Red square, mostly wet shirt, with parts in the middle being somewhat dry. Smaller stripe-shaped burns.
*'''Dry clothes''' with a '''Dishwasher''': Red square, entirely wet shirt.
*'''Dry clothes''' with a '''Microwave''': Yellow square, dry shirt with smaller burns.
*'''Dry clothes''' with a '''Washing machine''': Red square, wet shirt.
*'''Dry clothes''' with a '''Stove/oven''': Yellow square, dry shirt with small burn-like patches.
*'''Dry clothes''' with a '''Dryer''': Green square, dry shirt.

{{comic discussion}}

[[Category:Comics with color]]
[[Category:Confusion matrices]]
[[Category:Charts]]
[[Category:Food]]

2420: Appliances

2024-10-23T15:04:19Z

Whoop whoop pull up: /* Table */

{{comic
| number = 2420
| date = February 3, 2021
| title = Appliances
| image = appliances.png
| titletext = If you had an oven bag and a dryer that runs unusually hot, I guess you could in theory make tumbled eggs.
}}

==Explanation==

This comic shows a {{w|confusion matrix}} of the applicability of various household appliances to different tasks. Green indicates an excellent performance, yellow not ideal, but usable, and red dismal or destroyed. The diagonal is green as it shows the tasks done by the machines they are supposed to be performed by. See [[#Table|table]] below. The comic is similar to [[1890: What to Bring]], [[2813: What To Do]], and [[2963: House Inputs and Outputs]], but those comics do not use yellow or another intermediate color.

Plain salmon fillets can be easily {{w|Dishwasher salmon|cooked in a dishwasher}}, so it is marked "cooked", and thus "cook a frozen dinner" is only yellow on the dishwasher entry, rather than full red. This might also apply to most other types of fish (trout, which is evolutionarily a type of salmon, was a prior subject for this process), as commercially-prepared frozen dinners tend to be breaded white fish such as cod, mackerel, smelt, etc. for price and logistical reasons (retaining their taste and firmness through the cooking, freezing, thawing and reheating processes). That's if it is not a recipe built around fish, as with a tuna casserole, in which case it is probably entirely subject to whether the whole of the pre-cooked and frozen meal can be sufficiently defrosted and raised to a safe and palatable temperature.

The stove/oven has three green as it can also cook a microwave frozen dinner, although slower, and can toast bread, again slower than the toaster. It is by far the machine that has the fewest red entries, only one, as it cannot wash clothes. It can also not clean dishes, but it might sterilize them, thus that entry is yellow. It may actually dry the clothes, but is liable to burn them and is therefore yellow.

The microwave oven can also cook eggs, thus it has two green, the only other than the stove/oven with more than one green.

The toaster and the washing machines are the only ones without any yellow, and with only one green, for making toast/washing clothes - they are thus the appliances with the fewest other potential uses (zero). The washing machine will at least not destroy the clothes if you try to dry them, but it has the opposite effect, thus still red. The toaster will potentially just make the dirt on the dishes burn harder, and additionally appears to have melted the tines of the fork.

The title text mentions that it would be theoretically possible to cook eggs in a dryer, but it is not a common use for a dryer.{{Citation needed}} The joke is that it is not called {{w|scrambled eggs}} but tumbled eggs. It also mentions that the dryer has to become hotter than usual for a dryer (maybe dangerously hot for the clothes for it to work). And then the eggs should be cracked and put in an oven bag, that really needs to be tight and well zipped.

The table displays a diagonal line of greens from top-left to bottom-right, as is typical with a table where the first row option is deliberately compatible with the first column option, the second row with the second column, etc. What is perhaps more interesting is where the non-diagonal greens appear (and, to some extent, the yellows), indicating appliances or uses that are more flexible and range beyond being of a mere one-trick pony.

==Table==
{| class="wikitable" style="background-color: #E6C3C3;"
!
! scope="col"| {{w|Toaster}}
! scope="col"| {{w|Dishwasher}}
! scope="col"| {{w|Microwave oven|Microwave}}
! scope="col"| {{w|Washing machine}}
! scope="col"| {{w|Kitchen stove|Stove/oven}}
! scope="col"| {{w|Clothes dryer|Dryer}}
|-
! scope="row"| Make toast
|style="background-color: #C5E6C3;"| Yes, a toaster's function is to make toast from bread.{{citation needed}}
| No. A dishwasher would likely turn bread into mush, and the result is unlikely to be edible.
| No. A microwave could heat up bread, but would not brown the bread and make it crunchy. In this image, it appears that the bread is getting unevenly burnt.
| No. A washing machine would break the bread into several pieces and is unlikely to be edible.
|style="background-color: #C5E6C3;"| Yes, toast can be made using a stove or an oven.
| No. A dryer would burn the bread due to its heat and would break it up into crumbs due to its tumbling.
|-
! scope="row"| Wash dishes
| No. A toaster would not be able to wash dishes and is likely to do nothing to make them clean (again, other than sterilization by heat). Also, toasters get hot enough to potentially deform or melt metal cutlery, especially since many kinds of cutlery have tines or handles thin enough to fit between the wires of the toaster baskets and come close to or touch the heating elements (which would pose an additional electrocution hazard); this is probably why this scenario is marked red instead of yellow, as the fork in the image appears to have been partially melted by the heat.
|style="background-color: #C5E6C3;"| Yes, a dishwasher's function is to wash dishes.
| No. A microwave cannot clean dishes, or even sterilize them through exposure to adequate heat, as glass/ceramic or plastic dishes cannot absorb microwave radiation in sufficient quantities to generate heat. Metal cutlery can, but only specially-designed varieties are supposed to be placed into a microwave because metal usually winds up reflecting the microwaves and causing damage to the oven's interior through electrical discharge.
| No. A washing machine would break the dishes. The pieces would be clean, but unusable as dishes unless more robust than regular crockery.
|style="background-color: #FBF8CE;"| Maybe, a stove or an oven could theoretically sterilize dishes with high heat (but this would not clean off any stains or stuck food particles).
| No. Worse than the washing machine, the tumbling of a dryer would thoroughly pulverize porcelain dishes.
|-
! scope="row"| Cook a {{w|TV dinner|frozen dinner}}
| No. A traditional toaster would not be able to cook a frozen dinner. A {{w|toaster oven}} combination would be able to do so (see stove/oven).
|style="background-color: #FBF8CE;"| Maybe. The fish could be cooked in a dishwasher, however, the rest might not, but this is not a typical use of a dishwasher.
|style="background-color: #C5E6C3;"| Yes, a microwave is normally used to cook a frozen dinner.
| No. A washing machine would make the dinner soggy and inedible.
|style="background-color: #C5E6C3;"| Yes, a stove or an oven could also be used to cook a frozen dinner. The image shows the dinner being removed from its packaging and placed in a baking pan.
| No. A dryer would make the frozen dinner inedible due to its tumbling action.
|-
! scope="row"| Wash clothes
| No. A toaster would not be able to wash clothes and would instead leave burn marks (and potentially set the clothes on fire, as seen in this image).
|style="background-color: #FBF8CE;"| Maybe. A dishwasher would be able to get the clothes wet but the washing may be uneven.
| No. A microwave would just burn the clothes and not do any washing.
|style="background-color: #C5E6C3;"| Yes, a washing machine's function is to wash clothes.
| No, a stove or an oven would burn the clothes and not do any cleaning.
|style="background-color: #FBF8CE;"| Maybe. A dryer would heat the clothes and kill germs, but not get any stains out.
|-
! scope="row"| Cook eggs
| No. A toaster would not be able to cook eggs. This image seems to show that eggs were cracked directly into the toaster, which causes a large plume of smoke.
| No. A dishwasher generally cannot cook eggs. However, it does seem that [https://spoonuniversity.com/how-to/5-foods-cook-dishwasher this is plausible to do].
|style="background-color: #C5E6C3;"| Yes. A microwave could be used to cook eggs, {{w|poached egg|poached style}} as shown in the image, or also {{w|scrambled eggs|scrambled}}.
| No, a washing machine would destroy the eggs.
|style="background-color: #C5E6C3;"| Yes, a stove or an oven is typically used to cook eggs (and other foods).
| No. A dryer would overheat the eggs and tumble them to shreds.
|-
! scope="row"| Dry clothes
| No. A toaster would not be able to dry clothes and would instead leave burn marks.
| No. A dishwasher would be able to get the clothes wet but would not do any drying.
|style="background-color: #FBF8CE;"| Maybe. A microwave could (unevenly) get clothes dry.
| No, a washing machine's function is to wash clothes and would just get the clothes wet. A washing machine's spin cycle could dry clothes to some extent but is not intended to fully wring all the water out of clothes.
|style="background-color: #FBF8CE;"| Maybe, a stove or an oven could be used to get clothes dry but runs a high risk of burning them, especially on parts that are in contact with metal.
|style="background-color: #C5E6C3;"| Yes, a dryer's function is to dry clothes after they are washed.
|}

==Transcript==

:[The comic is laid out like a grid, with usages for common household appliances the left-hand side (Make toast / Wash dishes / Cook a frozen dinner / Wash clothes / Cook eggs / Dry clothes) and appliances for these activities across the top (Toaster / Dishwasher / Microwave / Washing machine / Stove/oven / Dryer). The grid illustrates the "match-ups", with a green square denoting a "correct" match-up, a yellow square denoting something that may work somewhat, and a red square denoting something that most certainly won't work.]

:[From the top left corner, going from left to right, top to bottom, with each first item being on its own line in the grid, the images in the squares are as follows:]

*'''Make toast''' with a '''Toaster''': Green square, toasted toast with stripe pattern.
*'''Make toast''' with a '''Dishwasher''': Red square, slightly broken soggy toast in a puddle of water.
*'''Make toast''' with a '''Microwave''': Red square, non-toasted and unevenly burnt toast.
*'''Make toast''' with a '''Washing machine''': Red square, a few small soggy pieces of toast in a puddle of water.
*'''Make toast''' with a '''Stove/oven''': Green square, toasted toast with somewhat irregular pattern.
*'''Make toast''' with a '''Dryer''': Red square, large pile of breadcrumbs.
*'''Wash dishes''' with a '''Toaster''': Red square, intact glass, somewhat bent fork with the tines melted into an irregular lump, and slightly cracked and sooty plate.
*'''Wash dishes''' with a '''Dishwasher''': Green square, clean glass, fork, and plate.
*'''Wash dishes''' with a '''Microwave''': Red square, slightly broken glass, intact fork, and sooty plate.
*'''Wash dishes''' with a '''Washing machine''': Red square, broken glass, intact fork, broken plate.
*'''Wash dishes''' with a '''Stove/oven''': Yellow square, Text reading "Sterilized, at least" with an arrow beneath it pointing at a slightly cracked glass, intact fork, and sooty and cracked plate.
*'''Wash dishes''' with a '''Dryer''': Red square, a large pile of broken porcelain and glass with part of a fork sticking out of it.
*'''Cook a frozen dinner''' with a '''Toaster''': Red square, badly burnt food box emitting smoke.
*'''Cook a frozen dinner''' with a '''Dishwasher''': Yellow square, Text reading "Fish might be cooked" with an arrow beneath it pointing at a food box two-thirds filled with water.
*'''Cook a frozen dinner''' with a '''Microwave''': Green square, cooked food box.
*'''Cook a frozen dinner''' with a '''Washing machine''': Red square, crumpled food box two-thirds filled with water.
*'''Cook a frozen dinner''' with a '''Stove/oven''': Green square, sideways view of steaming cooked food box with lid removed.
*'''Cook a frozen dinner''' with a '''Dryer''': Red square, open crumpled food box with burnt edges. Burnt food stuck to the panel's borders.
*'''Wash clothes''' with a '''Toaster''': Red square, smoking T-shirt with large stripe-shaped burns and flames rising from the top.
*'''Wash clothes''' with a '''Dishwasher''': Yellow square, unevenly wet/washed shirt.
*'''Wash clothes''' with a '''Microwave''': Red square, slightly smoking shirt with spread-out burns and some flame on one sleeve.
*'''Wash clothes''' with a '''Washing machine''': Green square, clean wet shirt.
*'''Wash clothes''' with a '''Stove/oven''': Red square, shirt with a large semi-burned area.
*'''Wash clothes''' with a '''Dryer''': Yellow square, slightly dirty-looking shirt.
*'''Cook eggs''' with a '''Toaster''': Red square, toaster emitting a huge cloud of dense smoke.
*'''Cook eggs''' with a '''Dishwasher''': Red square, slightly cracked eggs in a puddle of some kind.
*'''Cook eggs''' with a '''Microwave''': Green square, egg in egg cup with text "(Poached)" beneath.
*'''Cook eggs''' with a '''Washing machine''': Red square, eggshell fragments in a puddle, presumably the egg.
*'''Cook eggs''' with a '''Stove/oven''': Green square, fried egg with beans on a plate.
*'''Cook eggs''' with a '''Dryer''': Red square, a pile of eggshell dust, and possibly scrambled eggs.
*'''Dry clothes''' with a '''Toaster''': Red square, mostly wet shirt, with parts in the middle being somewhat dry. Smaller stripe-shaped burns.
*'''Dry clothes''' with a '''Dishwasher''': Red square, entirely wet shirt.
*'''Dry clothes''' with a '''Microwave''': Yellow square, dry shirt with smaller burns.
*'''Dry clothes''' with a '''Washing machine''': Red square, wet shirt.
*'''Dry clothes''' with a '''Stove/oven''': Yellow square, dry shirt with small burn-like patches.
*'''Dry clothes''' with a '''Dryer''': Green square, dry shirt.

{{comic discussion}}

[[Category:Comics with color]]
[[Category:Confusion matrices]]
[[Category:Charts]]
[[Category:Food]]

2420: Appliances

2024-10-23T15:02:12Z

Whoop whoop pull up: /* Table */

{{comic
| number = 2420
| date = February 3, 2021
| title = Appliances
| image = appliances.png
| titletext = If you had an oven bag and a dryer that runs unusually hot, I guess you could in theory make tumbled eggs.
}}

==Explanation==

This comic shows a {{w|confusion matrix}} of the applicability of various household appliances to different tasks. Green indicates an excellent performance, yellow not ideal, but usable, and red dismal or destroyed. The diagonal is green as it shows the tasks done by the machines they are supposed to be performed by. See [[#Table|table]] below. The comic is similar to [[1890: What to Bring]], [[2813: What To Do]], and [[2963: House Inputs and Outputs]], but those comics do not use yellow or another intermediate color.

Plain salmon fillets can be easily {{w|Dishwasher salmon|cooked in a dishwasher}}, so it is marked "cooked", and thus "cook a frozen dinner" is only yellow on the dishwasher entry, rather than full red. This might also apply to most other types of fish (trout, which is evolutionarily a type of salmon, was a prior subject for this process), as commercially-prepared frozen dinners tend to be breaded white fish such as cod, mackerel, smelt, etc. for price and logistical reasons (retaining their taste and firmness through the cooking, freezing, thawing and reheating processes). That's if it is not a recipe built around fish, as with a tuna casserole, in which case it is probably entirely subject to whether the whole of the pre-cooked and frozen meal can be sufficiently defrosted and raised to a safe and palatable temperature.

The stove/oven has three green as it can also cook a microwave frozen dinner, although slower, and can toast bread, again slower than the toaster. It is by far the machine that has the fewest red entries, only one, as it cannot wash clothes. It can also not clean dishes, but it might sterilize them, thus that entry is yellow. It may actually dry the clothes, but is liable to burn them and is therefore yellow.

The microwave oven can also cook eggs, thus it has two green, the only other than the stove/oven with more than one green.

The toaster and the washing machines are the only ones without any yellow, and with only one green, for making toast/washing clothes - they are thus the appliances with the fewest other potential uses (zero). The washing machine will at least not destroy the clothes if you try to dry them, but it has the opposite effect, thus still red. The toaster will potentially just make the dirt on the dishes burn harder, and additionally appears to have melted the tines of the fork.

The title text mentions that it would be theoretically possible to cook eggs in a dryer, but it is not a common use for a dryer.{{Citation needed}} The joke is that it is not called {{w|scrambled eggs}} but tumbled eggs. It also mentions that the dryer has to become hotter than usual for a dryer (maybe dangerously hot for the clothes for it to work). And then the eggs should be cracked and put in an oven bag, that really needs to be tight and well zipped.

The table displays a diagonal line of greens from top-left to bottom-right, as is typical with a table where the first row option is deliberately compatible with the first column option, the second row with the second column, etc. What is perhaps more interesting is where the non-diagonal greens appear (and, to some extent, the yellows), indicating appliances or uses that are more flexible and range beyond being of a mere one-trick pony.

==Table==
{| class="wikitable" style="background-color: #E6C3C3;"
!
! scope="col"| {{w|Toaster}}
! scope="col"| {{w|Dishwasher}}
! scope="col"| {{w|Microwave oven|Microwave}}
! scope="col"| {{w|Washing machine}}
! scope="col"| {{w|Kitchen stove|Stove/oven}}
! scope="col"| {{w|Clothes dryer|Dryer}}
|-
! scope="row"| Make toast
|style="background-color: #C5E6C3;"| Yes, a toaster's function is to make toast from bread.{{citation needed}}
| No. A dishwasher would likely turn bread into mush, and the result is unlikely to be edible.
| No. A microwave could heat up bread, but would not brown the bread and make it crunchy. In this image, it appears that the bread is getting unevenly burnt.
| No. A washing machine would break the bread into several pieces and is unlikely to be edible.
|style="background-color: #C5E6C3;"| Yes, toast can be made using a stove or an oven.
| No. A dryer would burn the bread due to its heat and would break it up into crumbs due to its tumbling.
|-
! scope="row"| Wash dishes
| No. A toaster would not be able to wash dishes and is likely to do nothing to make them clean (again, other than sterilization by heat). Also, toasters get hot enough to potentially deform or melt metal cutlery, especially since many kinds of cutlery have tines or handles thin enough to fit between the wires of the toaster baskets and come close to or touch the heating elements (which would pose an additional electrocution hazard); this is probably why this scenario is marked red instead of yellow, as the fork in the image appears to have been partially melted by the heat.
|style="background-color: #C5E6C3;"| Yes, a dishwasher's function is to wash dishes.
| No. A microwave cannot clean dishes, or even sterilize them through exposure to adequate heat, as glass/ceramic or plastic dishes cannot absorb microwave radiation in sufficient quantities to generate heat. Metal cutlery can, but only specially-designed varieties are supposed to be placed into a microwave because metal usually winds up reflecting the microwaves and causing damage to the oven's interior through electrical discharge.
| No. A washing machine would break the dishes. The pieces would be clean, but unusable as dishes unless more robust than regular crockery.
|style="background-color: #FBF8CE;"| Maybe, a stove or an oven could theoretically sterilize dishes with high heat (but this would not clean off any stains or stuck food particles).
| No. Worse than the washing machine, the tumbling of a dryer would thoroughly pulverize porcelain dishes.
|-
! scope="row"| Cook a {{w|TV dinner|frozen dinner}}
| No. A traditional toaster would not be able to cook a frozen dinner. A {{w|toaster oven}} combination would be able to do so (see stove/oven).
|style="background-color: #FBF8CE;"| Maybe. The fish could be cooked in a dishwasher, however, the rest might not, but this is not a typical use of a dishwasher.
|style="background-color: #C5E6C3;"| Yes, a microwave is normally used to cook a frozen dinner.
| No. A washing machine would make the dinner soggy and inedible.
|style="background-color: #C5E6C3;"| Yes, a stove or an oven could also be used to cook a frozen dinner. The image shows the dinner being removed from its packaging and placed in a baking pan.
| No. A dryer would make the frozen dinner inedible due to its tumbling action.
|-
! scope="row"| Wash clothes
| No. A toaster would not be able to wash clothes and would instead leave burn marks.
|style="background-color: #FBF8CE;"| Maybe. A dishwasher would be able to get the clothes wet but the washing may be uneven.
| No. A microwave would just burn the clothes and not do any washing.
|style="background-color: #C5E6C3;"| Yes, a washing machine's function is to wash clothes.
| No, a stove or an oven would burn the clothes and not do any cleaning.
|style="background-color: #FBF8CE;"| Maybe. A dryer would heat the clothes and kill germs, but not get any stains out.
|-
! scope="row"| Cook eggs
| No. A toaster would not be able to cook eggs. This image seems to show that eggs were cracked directly into the toaster, which causes a large plume of smoke.
| No. A dishwasher generally cannot cook eggs. However, it does seem that [https://spoonuniversity.com/how-to/5-foods-cook-dishwasher this is plausible to do].
|style="background-color: #C5E6C3;"| Yes. A microwave could be used to cook eggs, {{w|poached egg|poached style}} as shown in the image, or also {{w|scrambled eggs|scrambled}}.
| No, a washing machine would destroy the eggs.
|style="background-color: #C5E6C3;"| Yes, a stove or an oven is typically used to cook eggs (and other foods).
| No. A dryer would overheat the eggs and tumble them to shreds.
|-
! scope="row"| Dry clothes
| No. A toaster would not be able to dry clothes and would instead leave burn marks.
| No. A dishwasher would be able to get the clothes wet but would not do any drying.
|style="background-color: #FBF8CE;"| Maybe. A microwave could (unevenly) get clothes dry.
| No, a washing machine's function is to wash clothes and would just get the clothes wet. A washing machine's spin cycle could dry clothes to some extent but is not intended to fully wring all the water out of clothes.
|style="background-color: #FBF8CE;"| Maybe, a stove or an oven could be used to get clothes dry but runs a high risk of burning them, especially on parts that are in contact with metal.
|style="background-color: #C5E6C3;"| Yes, a dryer's function is to dry clothes after they are washed.
|}

==Transcript==

:[The comic is laid out like a grid, with usages for common household appliances the left-hand side (Make toast / Wash dishes / Cook a frozen dinner / Wash clothes / Cook eggs / Dry clothes) and appliances for these activities across the top (Toaster / Dishwasher / Microwave / Washing machine / Stove/oven / Dryer). The grid illustrates the "match-ups", with a green square denoting a "correct" match-up, a yellow square denoting something that may work somewhat, and a red square denoting something that most certainly won't work.]

:[From the top left corner, going from left to right, top to bottom, with each first item being on its own line in the grid, the images in the squares are as follows:]

*'''Make toast''' with a '''Toaster''': Green square, toasted toast with stripe pattern.
*'''Make toast''' with a '''Dishwasher''': Red square, slightly broken soggy toast in a puddle of water.
*'''Make toast''' with a '''Microwave''': Red square, non-toasted and unevenly burnt toast.
*'''Make toast''' with a '''Washing machine''': Red square, a few small soggy pieces of toast in a puddle of water.
*'''Make toast''' with a '''Stove/oven''': Green square, toasted toast with somewhat irregular pattern.
*'''Make toast''' with a '''Dryer''': Red square, large pile of breadcrumbs.
*'''Wash dishes''' with a '''Toaster''': Red square, intact glass, somewhat bent fork with the tines melted into an irregular lump, and slightly cracked and sooty plate.
*'''Wash dishes''' with a '''Dishwasher''': Green square, clean glass, fork, and plate.
*'''Wash dishes''' with a '''Microwave''': Red square, slightly broken glass, intact fork, and sooty plate.
*'''Wash dishes''' with a '''Washing machine''': Red square, broken glass, intact fork, broken plate.
*'''Wash dishes''' with a '''Stove/oven''': Yellow square, Text reading "Sterilized, at least" with an arrow beneath it pointing at a slightly cracked glass, intact fork, and sooty and cracked plate.
*'''Wash dishes''' with a '''Dryer''': Red square, a large pile of broken porcelain and glass with part of a fork sticking out of it.
*'''Cook a frozen dinner''' with a '''Toaster''': Red square, badly burnt food box emitting smoke.
*'''Cook a frozen dinner''' with a '''Dishwasher''': Yellow square, Text reading "Fish might be cooked" with an arrow beneath it pointing at a food box two-thirds filled with water.
*'''Cook a frozen dinner''' with a '''Microwave''': Green square, cooked food box.
*'''Cook a frozen dinner''' with a '''Washing machine''': Red square, crumpled food box two-thirds filled with water.
*'''Cook a frozen dinner''' with a '''Stove/oven''': Green square, sideways view of steaming cooked food box with lid removed.
*'''Cook a frozen dinner''' with a '''Dryer''': Red square, open crumpled food box with burnt edges. Burnt food stuck to the panel's borders.
*'''Wash clothes''' with a '''Toaster''': Red square, smoking T-shirt with large stripe-shaped burns and flames rising from the top.
*'''Wash clothes''' with a '''Dishwasher''': Yellow square, unevenly wet/washed shirt.
*'''Wash clothes''' with a '''Microwave''': Red square, slightly smoking shirt with spread-out burns and some flame on one sleeve.
*'''Wash clothes''' with a '''Washing machine''': Green square, clean wet shirt.
*'''Wash clothes''' with a '''Stove/oven''': Red square, shirt with a large semi-burned area.
*'''Wash clothes''' with a '''Dryer''': Yellow square, slightly dirty-looking shirt.
*'''Cook eggs''' with a '''Toaster''': Red square, toaster emitting a huge cloud of dense smoke.
*'''Cook eggs''' with a '''Dishwasher''': Red square, slightly cracked eggs in a puddle of some kind.
*'''Cook eggs''' with a '''Microwave''': Green square, egg in egg cup with text "(Poached)" beneath.
*'''Cook eggs''' with a '''Washing machine''': Red square, eggshell fragments in a puddle, presumably the egg.
*'''Cook eggs''' with a '''Stove/oven''': Green square, fried egg with beans on a plate.
*'''Cook eggs''' with a '''Dryer''': Red square, a pile of eggshell dust, and possibly scrambled eggs.
*'''Dry clothes''' with a '''Toaster''': Red square, mostly wet shirt, with parts in the middle being somewhat dry. Smaller stripe-shaped burns.
*'''Dry clothes''' with a '''Dishwasher''': Red square, entirely wet shirt.
*'''Dry clothes''' with a '''Microwave''': Yellow square, dry shirt with smaller burns.
*'''Dry clothes''' with a '''Washing machine''': Red square, wet shirt.
*'''Dry clothes''' with a '''Stove/oven''': Yellow square, dry shirt with small burn-like patches.
*'''Dry clothes''' with a '''Dryer''': Green square, dry shirt.

{{comic discussion}}

[[Category:Comics with color]]
[[Category:Confusion matrices]]
[[Category:Charts]]
[[Category:Food]]

2420: Appliances

2024-10-23T14:57:36Z

Whoop whoop pull up: /* Explanation */

{{comic
| number = 2420
| date = February 3, 2021
| title = Appliances
| image = appliances.png
| titletext = If you had an oven bag and a dryer that runs unusually hot, I guess you could in theory make tumbled eggs.
}}

==Explanation==

This comic shows a {{w|confusion matrix}} of the applicability of various household appliances to different tasks. Green indicates an excellent performance, yellow not ideal, but usable, and red dismal or destroyed. The diagonal is green as it shows the tasks done by the machines they are supposed to be performed by. See [[#Table|table]] below. The comic is similar to [[1890: What to Bring]], [[2813: What To Do]], and [[2963: House Inputs and Outputs]], but those comics do not use yellow or another intermediate color.

Plain salmon fillets can be easily {{w|Dishwasher salmon|cooked in a dishwasher}}, so it is marked "cooked", and thus "cook a frozen dinner" is only yellow on the dishwasher entry, rather than full red. This might also apply to most other types of fish (trout, which is evolutionarily a type of salmon, was a prior subject for this process), as commercially-prepared frozen dinners tend to be breaded white fish such as cod, mackerel, smelt, etc. for price and logistical reasons (retaining their taste and firmness through the cooking, freezing, thawing and reheating processes). That's if it is not a recipe built around fish, as with a tuna casserole, in which case it is probably entirely subject to whether the whole of the pre-cooked and frozen meal can be sufficiently defrosted and raised to a safe and palatable temperature.

The stove/oven has three green as it can also cook a microwave frozen dinner, although slower, and can toast bread, again slower than the toaster. It is by far the machine that has the fewest red entries, only one, as it cannot wash clothes. It can also not clean dishes, but it might sterilize them, thus that entry is yellow. It may actually dry the clothes, but is liable to burn them and is therefore yellow.

The microwave oven can also cook eggs, thus it has two green, the only other than the stove/oven with more than one green.

The toaster and the washing machines are the only ones without any yellow, and with only one green, for making toast/washing clothes - they are thus the appliances with the fewest other potential uses (zero). The washing machine will at least not destroy the clothes if you try to dry them, but it has the opposite effect, thus still red. The toaster will potentially just make the dirt on the dishes burn harder, and additionally appears to have melted the tines of the fork.

The title text mentions that it would be theoretically possible to cook eggs in a dryer, but it is not a common use for a dryer.{{Citation needed}} The joke is that it is not called {{w|scrambled eggs}} but tumbled eggs. It also mentions that the dryer has to become hotter than usual for a dryer (maybe dangerously hot for the clothes for it to work). And then the eggs should be cracked and put in an oven bag, that really needs to be tight and well zipped.

The table displays a diagonal line of greens from top-left to bottom-right, as is typical with a table where the first row option is deliberately compatible with the first column option, the second row with the second column, etc. What is perhaps more interesting is where the non-diagonal greens appear (and, to some extent, the yellows), indicating appliances or uses that are more flexible and range beyond being of a mere one-trick pony.

==Table==
{| class="wikitable" style="background-color: #E6C3C3;"
!
! scope="col"| {{w|Toaster}}
! scope="col"| {{w|Dishwasher}}
! scope="col"| {{w|Microwave oven|Microwave}}
! scope="col"| {{w|Washing machine}}
! scope="col"| {{w|Kitchen stove|Stove/oven}}
! scope="col"| {{w|Clothes dryer|Dryer}}
|-
! scope="row"| Make toast
|style="background-color: #C5E6C3;"| Yes, a toaster's function is to make toast from bread.{{citation needed}}
| No. A dishwasher would likely turn bread into mush, and the result is unlikely to be edible.
| No. A microwave could heat up bread, but would not brown the bread and make it crunchy. In this image, it appears that the bread is getting unevenly burnt.
| No. A washing machine would break the bread into several pieces and is unlikely to be edible.
|style="background-color: #C5E6C3;"| Yes, toast can be made using a stove or an oven.
| No. A dryer would burn the bread due to its heat and would break it up into crumbs due to its tumbling.
|-
! scope="row"| Wash dishes
| No. A toaster would not be able to wash dishes and is likely to do nothing to make them clean (again, other than sterilization by heat).
|style="background-color: #C5E6C3;"| Yes, a dishwasher's function is to wash dishes.
| No. A microwave cannot clean dishes, or even sterilize them through exposure to adequate heat, as glass/ceramic or plastic dishes cannot absorb microwave radiation in sufficient quantities to generate heat. Metal cutlery can, but only specially-designed varieties are supposed to be placed into a microwave because metal usually winds up reflecting the microwaves and causing damage to the oven's interior through electrical discharge.
| No. A washing machine would break the dishes. The pieces would be clean, but unusable as dishes unless more robust than regular crockery.
|style="background-color: #FBF8CE;"| Maybe, a stove or an oven could theoretically sterilize dishes with high heat (but this would not clean off any stains or stuck food particles).
| No. Worse than the washing machine, the tumbling of a dryer would thoroughly pulverize porcelain dishes.
|-
! scope="row"| Cook a {{w|TV dinner|frozen dinner}}
| No. A traditional toaster would not be able to cook a frozen dinner. A {{w|toaster oven}} combination would be able to do so (see stove/oven).
|style="background-color: #FBF8CE;"| Maybe. The fish could be cooked in a dishwasher, however, the rest might not, but this is not a typical use of a dishwasher.
|style="background-color: #C5E6C3;"| Yes, a microwave is normally used to cook a frozen dinner.
| No. A washing machine would make the dinner soggy and inedible.
|style="background-color: #C5E6C3;"| Yes, a stove or an oven could also be used to cook a frozen dinner. The image shows the dinner being removed from its packaging and placed in a baking pan.
| No. A dryer would make the frozen dinner inedible due to its tumbling action.
|-
! scope="row"| Wash clothes
| No. A toaster would not be able to wash clothes and would instead leave burn marks.
|style="background-color: #FBF8CE;"| Maybe. A dishwasher would be able to get the clothes wet but the washing may be uneven.
| No. A microwave would just burn the clothes and not do any washing.
|style="background-color: #C5E6C3;"| Yes, a washing machine's function is to wash clothes.
| No, a stove or an oven would burn the clothes and not do any cleaning.
|style="background-color: #FBF8CE;"| Maybe. A dryer would heat the clothes and kill germs, but not get any stains out.
|-
! scope="row"| Cook eggs
| No. A toaster would not be able to cook eggs. This image seems to show that eggs were cracked directly into the toaster, which causes a large plume of smoke.
| No. A dishwasher generally cannot cook eggs. However, it does seem that [https://spoonuniversity.com/how-to/5-foods-cook-dishwasher this is plausible to do].
|style="background-color: #C5E6C3;"| Yes. A microwave could be used to cook eggs, {{w|poached egg|poached style}} as shown in the image, or also {{w|scrambled eggs|scrambled}}.
| No, a washing machine would destroy the eggs.
|style="background-color: #C5E6C3;"| Yes, a stove or an oven is typically used to cook eggs (and other foods).
| No. A dryer would overheat the eggs and tumble them to shreds.
|-
! scope="row"| Dry clothes
| No. A toaster would not be able to dry clothes and would instead leave burn marks.
| No. A dishwasher would be able to get the clothes wet but would not do any drying.
|style="background-color: #FBF8CE;"| Maybe. A microwave could (unevenly) get clothes dry.
| No, a washing machine's function is to wash clothes and would just get the clothes wet. A washing machine's spin cycle could dry clothes to some extent but is not intended to fully wring all the water out of clothes.
|style="background-color: #FBF8CE;"| Maybe, a stove or an oven could be used to get clothes dry but runs a high risk of burning them, especially on parts that are in contact with metal.
|style="background-color: #C5E6C3;"| Yes, a dryer's function is to dry clothes after they are washed.
|}

==Transcript==

:[The comic is laid out like a grid, with usages for common household appliances the left-hand side (Make toast / Wash dishes / Cook a frozen dinner / Wash clothes / Cook eggs / Dry clothes) and appliances for these activities across the top (Toaster / Dishwasher / Microwave / Washing machine / Stove/oven / Dryer). The grid illustrates the "match-ups", with a green square denoting a "correct" match-up, a yellow square denoting something that may work somewhat, and a red square denoting something that most certainly won't work.]

:[From the top left corner, going from left to right, top to bottom, with each first item being on its own line in the grid, the images in the squares are as follows:]

*'''Make toast''' with a '''Toaster''': Green square, toasted toast with stripe pattern.
*'''Make toast''' with a '''Dishwasher''': Red square, slightly broken soggy toast in a puddle of water.
*'''Make toast''' with a '''Microwave''': Red square, non-toasted and unevenly burnt toast.
*'''Make toast''' with a '''Washing machine''': Red square, a few small soggy pieces of toast in a puddle of water.
*'''Make toast''' with a '''Stove/oven''': Green square, toasted toast with somewhat irregular pattern.
*'''Make toast''' with a '''Dryer''': Red square, large pile of breadcrumbs.
*'''Wash dishes''' with a '''Toaster''': Red square, intact glass, somewhat bent fork with the tines melted into an irregular lump, and slightly cracked and sooty plate.
*'''Wash dishes''' with a '''Dishwasher''': Green square, clean glass, fork, and plate.
*'''Wash dishes''' with a '''Microwave''': Red square, slightly broken glass, intact fork, and sooty plate.
*'''Wash dishes''' with a '''Washing machine''': Red square, broken glass, intact fork, broken plate.
*'''Wash dishes''' with a '''Stove/oven''': Yellow square, Text reading "Sterilized, at least" with an arrow beneath it pointing at a slightly cracked glass, intact fork, and sooty and cracked plate.
*'''Wash dishes''' with a '''Dryer''': Red square, a large pile of broken porcelain and glass with part of a fork sticking out of it.
*'''Cook a frozen dinner''' with a '''Toaster''': Red square, badly burnt food box emitting smoke.
*'''Cook a frozen dinner''' with a '''Dishwasher''': Yellow square, Text reading "Fish might be cooked" with an arrow beneath it pointing at a food box two-thirds filled with water.
*'''Cook a frozen dinner''' with a '''Microwave''': Green square, cooked food box.
*'''Cook a frozen dinner''' with a '''Washing machine''': Red square, crumpled food box two-thirds filled with water.
*'''Cook a frozen dinner''' with a '''Stove/oven''': Green square, sideways view of steaming cooked food box with lid removed.
*'''Cook a frozen dinner''' with a '''Dryer''': Red square, open crumpled food box with burnt edges. Burnt food stuck to the panel's borders.
*'''Wash clothes''' with a '''Toaster''': Red square, smoking T-shirt with large stripe-shaped burns and flames rising from the top.
*'''Wash clothes''' with a '''Dishwasher''': Yellow square, unevenly wet/washed shirt.
*'''Wash clothes''' with a '''Microwave''': Red square, slightly smoking shirt with spread-out burns and some flame on one sleeve.
*'''Wash clothes''' with a '''Washing machine''': Green square, clean wet shirt.
*'''Wash clothes''' with a '''Stove/oven''': Red square, shirt with a large semi-burned area.
*'''Wash clothes''' with a '''Dryer''': Yellow square, slightly dirty-looking shirt.
*'''Cook eggs''' with a '''Toaster''': Red square, toaster emitting a huge cloud of dense smoke.
*'''Cook eggs''' with a '''Dishwasher''': Red square, slightly cracked eggs in a puddle of some kind.
*'''Cook eggs''' with a '''Microwave''': Green square, egg in egg cup with text "(Poached)" beneath.
*'''Cook eggs''' with a '''Washing machine''': Red square, eggshell fragments in a puddle, presumably the egg.
*'''Cook eggs''' with a '''Stove/oven''': Green square, fried egg with beans on a plate.
*'''Cook eggs''' with a '''Dryer''': Red square, a pile of eggshell dust, and possibly scrambled eggs.
*'''Dry clothes''' with a '''Toaster''': Red square, mostly wet shirt, with parts in the middle being somewhat dry. Smaller stripe-shaped burns.
*'''Dry clothes''' with a '''Dishwasher''': Red square, entirely wet shirt.
*'''Dry clothes''' with a '''Microwave''': Yellow square, dry shirt with smaller burns.
*'''Dry clothes''' with a '''Washing machine''': Red square, wet shirt.
*'''Dry clothes''' with a '''Stove/oven''': Yellow square, dry shirt with small burn-like patches.
*'''Dry clothes''' with a '''Dryer''': Green square, dry shirt.

{{comic discussion}}

[[Category:Comics with color]]
[[Category:Confusion matrices]]
[[Category:Charts]]
[[Category:Food]]

2420: Appliances

2024-10-23T14:51:34Z

Whoop whoop pull up: /* Explanation */

{{comic
| number = 2420
| date = February 3, 2021
| title = Appliances
| image = appliances.png
| titletext = If you had an oven bag and a dryer that runs unusually hot, I guess you could in theory make tumbled eggs.
}}

==Explanation==

This comic shows a {{w|confusion matrix}} of the applicability of various household appliances to different tasks. Green indicates an excellent performance, yellow not ideal, but usable, and red dismal or destroyed. The diagonal is green as it shows the tasks done by the machines they are supposed to be performed by. See [[#Table|table]] below. The comic is similar to [[1890: What to Bring]], [[2813: What To Do]], and [[2963: House Inputs and Outputs]], but those comics do not use yellow or another intermediate color.

Plain salmon fillets can be easily {{w|Dishwasher salmon|cooked in a dishwasher}}, so it is marked "cooked", and thus "cook a frozen dinner" is only yellow on the dishwasher entry, rather than full red. This might also apply to most other types of fish (trout was a prior subject for this process), as commercially-prepared frozen dinners tend to be breaded white fish such as cod, mackerel, smelt, etc. for price and logistical reasons (retaining their taste and firmness through the cooking, freezing, thawing and reheating processes). That's if it is not a recipe built around fish, as with a tuna casserole, in which case it is probably entirely subject to whether the whole of the pre-cooked and frozen meal can be sufficiently and defrosted and raised to a safe and palatable temperature.

The stove/oven has three green as it can also cook a microwave frozen dinner, although slower, and can toast bread, again slower than the toaster. It is by far the machine that has the fewest red entries, only one, as it cannot wash clothes. It can also not clean dishes, but it might sterilize them, thus that entry is yellow. It may actually dry the clothes, but is liable to burn them and is therefore yellow.

The microwave oven can also cook eggs, thus it has two green, the only other than the stove/oven with more than one green.

The toaster and the washing machines are the only ones without any yellow, and with only one green, for making toast/washing clothes - they are thus the appliances with the fewest other potential uses (zero). The washing machine will at least not destroy the clothes if you try to dry them, but it has the opposite effect, thus still red. The toaster will potentially just make the dirt on the dishes burn harder, and additionally appears to have melted the tines of the fork.

The title text mentions that it would be theoretically possible to cook eggs in a dryer, but it is not a common use for a dryer.{{Citation needed}} The joke is that it is not called {{w|scrambled eggs}} but tumbled eggs. It also mentions that the dryer has to become hotter than usual for a dryer (maybe dangerously hot for the clothes for it to work). And then the eggs should be cracked and put in an oven bag, that really needs to be tight and well zipped.

The table displays a diagonal line of greens from top-left to bottom-right, as is typical with a table where the first row option is deliberately compatible with the first column option, the second row with the second column, etc. What is perhaps more interesting is where the non-diagonal greens appear (and, to some extent, the yellows), indicating appliances or uses that are more flexible and range beyond being of a mere one-trick pony.

==Table==
{| class="wikitable" style="background-color: #E6C3C3;"
!
! scope="col"| {{w|Toaster}}
! scope="col"| {{w|Dishwasher}}
! scope="col"| {{w|Microwave oven|Microwave}}
! scope="col"| {{w|Washing machine}}
! scope="col"| {{w|Kitchen stove|Stove/oven}}
! scope="col"| {{w|Clothes dryer|Dryer}}
|-
! scope="row"| Make toast
|style="background-color: #C5E6C3;"| Yes, a toaster's function is to make toast from bread.{{citation needed}}
| No. A dishwasher would likely turn bread into mush, and the result is unlikely to be edible.
| No. A microwave could heat up bread, but would not brown the bread and make it crunchy. In this image, it appears that the bread is getting unevenly burnt.
| No. A washing machine would break the bread into several pieces and is unlikely to be edible.
|style="background-color: #C5E6C3;"| Yes, toast can be made using a stove or an oven.
| No. A dryer would burn the bread due to its heat and would break it up into crumbs due to its tumbling.
|-
! scope="row"| Wash dishes
| No. A toaster would not be able to wash dishes and is likely to do nothing to make them clean (again, other than sterilization by heat).
|style="background-color: #C5E6C3;"| Yes, a dishwasher's function is to wash dishes.
| No. A microwave cannot clean dishes, or even sterilize them through exposure to adequate heat, as glass/ceramic or plastic dishes cannot absorb microwave radiation in sufficient quantities to generate heat. Metal cutlery can, but only specially-designed varieties are supposed to be placed into a microwave because metal usually winds up reflecting the microwaves and causing damage to the oven's interior through electrical discharge.
| No. A washing machine would break the dishes. The pieces would be clean, but unusable as dishes unless more robust than regular crockery.
|style="background-color: #FBF8CE;"| Maybe, a stove or an oven could theoretically sterilize dishes with high heat (but this would not clean off any stains or stuck food particles).
| No. Worse than the washing machine, the tumbling of a dryer would thoroughly pulverize porcelain dishes.
|-
! scope="row"| Cook a {{w|TV dinner|frozen dinner}}
| No. A traditional toaster would not be able to cook a frozen dinner. A {{w|toaster oven}} combination would be able to do so (see stove/oven).
|style="background-color: #FBF8CE;"| Maybe. The fish could be cooked in a dishwasher, however, the rest might not, but this is not a typical use of a dishwasher.
|style="background-color: #C5E6C3;"| Yes, a microwave is normally used to cook a frozen dinner.
| No. A washing machine would make the dinner soggy and inedible.
|style="background-color: #C5E6C3;"| Yes, a stove or an oven could also be used to cook a frozen dinner. The image shows the dinner being removed from its packaging and placed in a baking pan.
| No. A dryer would make the frozen dinner inedible due to its tumbling action.
|-
! scope="row"| Wash clothes
| No. A toaster would not be able to wash clothes and would instead leave burn marks.
|style="background-color: #FBF8CE;"| Maybe. A dishwasher would be able to get the clothes wet but the washing may be uneven.
| No. A microwave would just burn the clothes and not do any washing.
|style="background-color: #C5E6C3;"| Yes, a washing machine's function is to wash clothes.
| No, a stove or an oven would burn the clothes and not do any cleaning.
|style="background-color: #FBF8CE;"| Maybe. A dryer would heat the clothes and kill germs, but not get any stains out.
|-
! scope="row"| Cook eggs
| No. A toaster would not be able to cook eggs. This image seems to show that eggs were cracked directly into the toaster, which causes a large plume of smoke.
| No. A dishwasher generally cannot cook eggs. However, it does seem that [https://spoonuniversity.com/how-to/5-foods-cook-dishwasher this is plausible to do].
|style="background-color: #C5E6C3;"| Yes. A microwave could be used to cook eggs, {{w|poached egg|poached style}} as shown in the image, or also {{w|scrambled eggs|scrambled}}.
| No, a washing machine would destroy the eggs.
|style="background-color: #C5E6C3;"| Yes, a stove or an oven is typically used to cook eggs (and other foods).
| No. A dryer would overheat the eggs and tumble them to shreds.
|-
! scope="row"| Dry clothes
| No. A toaster would not be able to dry clothes and would instead leave burn marks.
| No. A dishwasher would be able to get the clothes wet but would not do any drying.
|style="background-color: #FBF8CE;"| Maybe. A microwave could (unevenly) get clothes dry.
| No, a washing machine's function is to wash clothes and would just get the clothes wet. A washing machine's spin cycle could dry clothes to some extent but is not intended to fully wring all the water out of clothes.
|style="background-color: #FBF8CE;"| Maybe, a stove or an oven could be used to get clothes dry but runs a high risk of burning them, especially on parts that are in contact with metal.
|style="background-color: #C5E6C3;"| Yes, a dryer's function is to dry clothes after they are washed.
|}

==Transcript==

:[The comic is laid out like a grid, with usages for common household appliances the left-hand side (Make toast / Wash dishes / Cook a frozen dinner / Wash clothes / Cook eggs / Dry clothes) and appliances for these activities across the top (Toaster / Dishwasher / Microwave / Washing machine / Stove/oven / Dryer). The grid illustrates the "match-ups", with a green square denoting a "correct" match-up, a yellow square denoting something that may work somewhat, and a red square denoting something that most certainly won't work.]

:[From the top left corner, going from left to right, top to bottom, with each first item being on its own line in the grid, the images in the squares are as follows:]

*'''Make toast''' with a '''Toaster''': Green square, toasted toast with stripe pattern.
*'''Make toast''' with a '''Dishwasher''': Red square, slightly broken soggy toast in a puddle of water.
*'''Make toast''' with a '''Microwave''': Red square, non-toasted and unevenly burnt toast.
*'''Make toast''' with a '''Washing machine''': Red square, a few small soggy pieces of toast in a puddle of water.
*'''Make toast''' with a '''Stove/oven''': Green square, toasted toast with somewhat irregular pattern.
*'''Make toast''' with a '''Dryer''': Red square, large pile of breadcrumbs.
*'''Wash dishes''' with a '''Toaster''': Red square, intact glass, somewhat bent fork with the tines melted into an irregular lump, and slightly cracked and sooty plate.
*'''Wash dishes''' with a '''Dishwasher''': Green square, clean glass, fork, and plate.
*'''Wash dishes''' with a '''Microwave''': Red square, slightly broken glass, intact fork, and sooty plate.
*'''Wash dishes''' with a '''Washing machine''': Red square, broken glass, intact fork, broken plate.
*'''Wash dishes''' with a '''Stove/oven''': Yellow square, Text reading "Sterilized, at least" with an arrow beneath it pointing at a slightly cracked glass, intact fork, and sooty and cracked plate.
*'''Wash dishes''' with a '''Dryer''': Red square, a large pile of broken porcelain and glass with part of a fork sticking out of it.
*'''Cook a frozen dinner''' with a '''Toaster''': Red square, badly burnt food box emitting smoke.
*'''Cook a frozen dinner''' with a '''Dishwasher''': Yellow square, Text reading "Fish might be cooked" with an arrow beneath it pointing at a food box two-thirds filled with water.
*'''Cook a frozen dinner''' with a '''Microwave''': Green square, cooked food box.
*'''Cook a frozen dinner''' with a '''Washing machine''': Red square, crumpled food box two-thirds filled with water.
*'''Cook a frozen dinner''' with a '''Stove/oven''': Green square, sideways view of steaming cooked food box with lid removed.
*'''Cook a frozen dinner''' with a '''Dryer''': Red square, open crumpled food box with burnt edges. Burnt food stuck to the panel's borders.
*'''Wash clothes''' with a '''Toaster''': Red square, smoking T-shirt with large stripe-shaped burns and flames rising from the top.
*'''Wash clothes''' with a '''Dishwasher''': Yellow square, unevenly wet/washed shirt.
*'''Wash clothes''' with a '''Microwave''': Red square, slightly smoking shirt with spread-out burns and some flame on one sleeve.
*'''Wash clothes''' with a '''Washing machine''': Green square, clean wet shirt.
*'''Wash clothes''' with a '''Stove/oven''': Red square, shirt with a large semi-burned area.
*'''Wash clothes''' with a '''Dryer''': Yellow square, slightly dirty-looking shirt.
*'''Cook eggs''' with a '''Toaster''': Red square, toaster emitting a huge cloud of dense smoke.
*'''Cook eggs''' with a '''Dishwasher''': Red square, slightly cracked eggs in a puddle of some kind.
*'''Cook eggs''' with a '''Microwave''': Green square, egg in egg cup with text "(Poached)" beneath.
*'''Cook eggs''' with a '''Washing machine''': Red square, eggshell fragments in a puddle, presumably the egg.
*'''Cook eggs''' with a '''Stove/oven''': Green square, fried egg with beans on a plate.
*'''Cook eggs''' with a '''Dryer''': Red square, a pile of eggshell dust, and possibly scrambled eggs.
*'''Dry clothes''' with a '''Toaster''': Red square, mostly wet shirt, with parts in the middle being somewhat dry. Smaller stripe-shaped burns.
*'''Dry clothes''' with a '''Dishwasher''': Red square, entirely wet shirt.
*'''Dry clothes''' with a '''Microwave''': Yellow square, dry shirt with smaller burns.
*'''Dry clothes''' with a '''Washing machine''': Red square, wet shirt.
*'''Dry clothes''' with a '''Stove/oven''': Yellow square, dry shirt with small burn-like patches.
*'''Dry clothes''' with a '''Dryer''': Green square, dry shirt.

{{comic discussion}}

[[Category:Comics with color]]
[[Category:Confusion matrices]]
[[Category:Charts]]
[[Category:Food]]

2420: Appliances

2024-10-23T14:50:07Z

Whoop whoop pull up: /* Transcript */

{{comic
| number = 2420
| date = February 3, 2021
| title = Appliances
| image = appliances.png
| titletext = If you had an oven bag and a dryer that runs unusually hot, I guess you could in theory make tumbled eggs.
}}

==Explanation==

This comic shows a {{w|confusion matrix}} of the applicability of various household appliances to different tasks. Green indicates an excellent performance, yellow not ideal, but usable, and red dismal or destroyed. The diagonal is green as it shows the tasks done by the machines they are supposed to be performed by. See [[#Table|table]] below. The comic is similar to [[1890: What to Bring]], [[2813: What To Do]], and [[2963: House Inputs and Outputs]], but those comics do not use yellow or another intermediate color.

Plain salmon fillets can be easily {{w|Dishwasher salmon|cooked in a dishwasher}}, so it is marked "cooked", and thus "cook a frozen dinner" is only yellow on the dishwasher entry, rather than full red. This might also apply to most other types of fish (trout was a prior subject for this process), as commercially-prepared frozen dinners tend to be breaded white fish such as cod, mackerel, smelt, etc. for price and logistical reasons (retaining their taste and firmness through the cooking, freezing, thawing and reheating processes). That's if it is not a recipe built around fish, as with a tuna casserole, in which case it is probably entirely subject to whether the whole of the pre-cooked and frozen meal can be sufficiently and defrosted and raised to a safe and palatable temperature.

The stove/oven has three green as it can also cook a microwave frozen dinner, although slower, and can toast bread, again slower than the toaster. It is by far the machine that has the fewest red entries, only one, as it cannot wash clothes. It can also not clean dishes, but it might sterilize them, thus that entry is yellow. It may actually dry the clothes, but is liable to burn them and is therefore yellow.

The microwave oven can also cook eggs, thus it has two green, the only other than the stove/oven with more than one green.

The toaster and the washing machines are the only ones without any yellow, and with only one green, for making toast/washing clothes - they are thus the appliances with the fewest other potential uses (zero). The washing machine will at least not destroy the clothes if you try to dry them, but it has the opposite effect, thus still red. The toaster will not destroy the dishes, but will potentially just make the dirt burn harder.

The title text mentions that it would be theoretically possible to cook eggs in a dryer, but it is not a common use for a dryer.{{Citation needed}} The joke is that it is not called {{w|scrambled eggs}} but tumbled eggs. It also mentions that the dryer has to become hotter than usual for a dryer (maybe dangerously hot for the clothes for it to work). And then the eggs should be cracked and put in an oven bag, that really needs to be tight and well zipped.

The table displays a diagonal line of greens from top-left to bottom-right, as is typical with a table where the first row option is deliberately compatible with the first column option, the second row with the second column, etc. What is perhaps more interesting is where the non-diagonal greens appear (and, to some extent, the yellows), indicating appliances or uses that are more flexible and range beyond being of a mere one-trick pony.

==Table==
{| class="wikitable" style="background-color: #E6C3C3;"
!
! scope="col"| {{w|Toaster}}
! scope="col"| {{w|Dishwasher}}
! scope="col"| {{w|Microwave oven|Microwave}}
! scope="col"| {{w|Washing machine}}
! scope="col"| {{w|Kitchen stove|Stove/oven}}
! scope="col"| {{w|Clothes dryer|Dryer}}
|-
! scope="row"| Make toast
|style="background-color: #C5E6C3;"| Yes, a toaster's function is to make toast from bread.{{citation needed}}
| No. A dishwasher would likely turn bread into mush, and the result is unlikely to be edible.
| No. A microwave could heat up bread, but would not brown the bread and make it crunchy. In this image, it appears that the bread is getting unevenly burnt.
| No. A washing machine would break the bread into several pieces and is unlikely to be edible.
|style="background-color: #C5E6C3;"| Yes, toast can be made using a stove or an oven.
| No. A dryer would burn the bread due to its heat and would break it up into crumbs due to its tumbling.
|-
! scope="row"| Wash dishes
| No. A toaster would not be able to wash dishes and is likely to do nothing to make them clean (again, other than sterilization by heat).
|style="background-color: #C5E6C3;"| Yes, a dishwasher's function is to wash dishes.
| No. A microwave cannot clean dishes, or even sterilize them through exposure to adequate heat, as glass/ceramic or plastic dishes cannot absorb microwave radiation in sufficient quantities to generate heat. Metal cutlery can, but only specially-designed varieties are supposed to be placed into a microwave because metal usually winds up reflecting the microwaves and causing damage to the oven's interior through electrical discharge.
| No. A washing machine would break the dishes. The pieces would be clean, but unusable as dishes unless more robust than regular crockery.
|style="background-color: #FBF8CE;"| Maybe, a stove or an oven could theoretically sterilize dishes with high heat (but this would not clean off any stains or stuck food particles).
| No. Worse than the washing machine, the tumbling of a dryer would thoroughly pulverize porcelain dishes.
|-
! scope="row"| Cook a {{w|TV dinner|frozen dinner}}
| No. A traditional toaster would not be able to cook a frozen dinner. A {{w|toaster oven}} combination would be able to do so (see stove/oven).
|style="background-color: #FBF8CE;"| Maybe. The fish could be cooked in a dishwasher, however, the rest might not, but this is not a typical use of a dishwasher.
|style="background-color: #C5E6C3;"| Yes, a microwave is normally used to cook a frozen dinner.
| No. A washing machine would make the dinner soggy and inedible.
|style="background-color: #C5E6C3;"| Yes, a stove or an oven could also be used to cook a frozen dinner. The image shows the dinner being removed from its packaging and placed in a baking pan.
| No. A dryer would make the frozen dinner inedible due to its tumbling action.
|-
! scope="row"| Wash clothes
| No. A toaster would not be able to wash clothes and would instead leave burn marks.
|style="background-color: #FBF8CE;"| Maybe. A dishwasher would be able to get the clothes wet but the washing may be uneven.
| No. A microwave would just burn the clothes and not do any washing.
|style="background-color: #C5E6C3;"| Yes, a washing machine's function is to wash clothes.
| No, a stove or an oven would burn the clothes and not do any cleaning.
|style="background-color: #FBF8CE;"| Maybe. A dryer would heat the clothes and kill germs, but not get any stains out.
|-
! scope="row"| Cook eggs
| No. A toaster would not be able to cook eggs. This image seems to show that eggs were cracked directly into the toaster, which causes a large plume of smoke.
| No. A dishwasher generally cannot cook eggs. However, it does seem that [https://spoonuniversity.com/how-to/5-foods-cook-dishwasher this is plausible to do].
|style="background-color: #C5E6C3;"| Yes. A microwave could be used to cook eggs, {{w|poached egg|poached style}} as shown in the image, or also {{w|scrambled eggs|scrambled}}.
| No, a washing machine would destroy the eggs.
|style="background-color: #C5E6C3;"| Yes, a stove or an oven is typically used to cook eggs (and other foods).
| No. A dryer would overheat the eggs and tumble them to shreds.
|-
! scope="row"| Dry clothes
| No. A toaster would not be able to dry clothes and would instead leave burn marks.
| No. A dishwasher would be able to get the clothes wet but would not do any drying.
|style="background-color: #FBF8CE;"| Maybe. A microwave could (unevenly) get clothes dry.
| No, a washing machine's function is to wash clothes and would just get the clothes wet. A washing machine's spin cycle could dry clothes to some extent but is not intended to fully wring all the water out of clothes.
|style="background-color: #FBF8CE;"| Maybe, a stove or an oven could be used to get clothes dry but runs a high risk of burning them, especially on parts that are in contact with metal.
|style="background-color: #C5E6C3;"| Yes, a dryer's function is to dry clothes after they are washed.
|}

==Transcript==

:[The comic is laid out like a grid, with usages for common household appliances the left-hand side (Make toast / Wash dishes / Cook a frozen dinner / Wash clothes / Cook eggs / Dry clothes) and appliances for these activities across the top (Toaster / Dishwasher / Microwave / Washing machine / Stove/oven / Dryer). The grid illustrates the "match-ups", with a green square denoting a "correct" match-up, a yellow square denoting something that may work somewhat, and a red square denoting something that most certainly won't work.]

:[From the top left corner, going from left to right, top to bottom, with each first item being on its own line in the grid, the images in the squares are as follows:]

*'''Make toast''' with a '''Toaster''': Green square, toasted toast with stripe pattern.
*'''Make toast''' with a '''Dishwasher''': Red square, slightly broken soggy toast in a puddle of water.
*'''Make toast''' with a '''Microwave''': Red square, non-toasted and unevenly burnt toast.
*'''Make toast''' with a '''Washing machine''': Red square, a few small soggy pieces of toast in a puddle of water.
*'''Make toast''' with a '''Stove/oven''': Green square, toasted toast with somewhat irregular pattern.
*'''Make toast''' with a '''Dryer''': Red square, large pile of breadcrumbs.
*'''Wash dishes''' with a '''Toaster''': Red square, intact glass, somewhat bent fork with the tines melted into an irregular lump, and slightly cracked and sooty plate.
*'''Wash dishes''' with a '''Dishwasher''': Green square, clean glass, fork, and plate.
*'''Wash dishes''' with a '''Microwave''': Red square, slightly broken glass, intact fork, and sooty plate.
*'''Wash dishes''' with a '''Washing machine''': Red square, broken glass, intact fork, broken plate.
*'''Wash dishes''' with a '''Stove/oven''': Yellow square, Text reading "Sterilized, at least" with an arrow beneath it pointing at a slightly cracked glass, intact fork, and sooty and cracked plate.
*'''Wash dishes''' with a '''Dryer''': Red square, a large pile of broken porcelain and glass with part of a fork sticking out of it.
*'''Cook a frozen dinner''' with a '''Toaster''': Red square, badly burnt food box emitting smoke.
*'''Cook a frozen dinner''' with a '''Dishwasher''': Yellow square, Text reading "Fish might be cooked" with an arrow beneath it pointing at a food box two-thirds filled with water.
*'''Cook a frozen dinner''' with a '''Microwave''': Green square, cooked food box.
*'''Cook a frozen dinner''' with a '''Washing machine''': Red square, crumpled food box two-thirds filled with water.
*'''Cook a frozen dinner''' with a '''Stove/oven''': Green square, sideways view of steaming cooked food box with lid removed.
*'''Cook a frozen dinner''' with a '''Dryer''': Red square, open crumpled food box with burnt edges. Burnt food stuck to the panel's borders.
*'''Wash clothes''' with a '''Toaster''': Red square, smoking T-shirt with large stripe-shaped burns and flames rising from the top.
*'''Wash clothes''' with a '''Dishwasher''': Yellow square, unevenly wet/washed shirt.
*'''Wash clothes''' with a '''Microwave''': Red square, slightly smoking shirt with spread-out burns and some flame on one sleeve.
*'''Wash clothes''' with a '''Washing machine''': Green square, clean wet shirt.
*'''Wash clothes''' with a '''Stove/oven''': Red square, shirt with a large semi-burned area.
*'''Wash clothes''' with a '''Dryer''': Yellow square, slightly dirty-looking shirt.
*'''Cook eggs''' with a '''Toaster''': Red square, toaster emitting a huge cloud of dense smoke.
*'''Cook eggs''' with a '''Dishwasher''': Red square, slightly cracked eggs in a puddle of some kind.
*'''Cook eggs''' with a '''Microwave''': Green square, egg in egg cup with text "(Poached)" beneath.
*'''Cook eggs''' with a '''Washing machine''': Red square, eggshell fragments in a puddle, presumably the egg.
*'''Cook eggs''' with a '''Stove/oven''': Green square, fried egg with beans on a plate.
*'''Cook eggs''' with a '''Dryer''': Red square, a pile of eggshell dust, and possibly scrambled eggs.
*'''Dry clothes''' with a '''Toaster''': Red square, mostly wet shirt, with parts in the middle being somewhat dry. Smaller stripe-shaped burns.
*'''Dry clothes''' with a '''Dishwasher''': Red square, entirely wet shirt.
*'''Dry clothes''' with a '''Microwave''': Yellow square, dry shirt with smaller burns.
*'''Dry clothes''' with a '''Washing machine''': Red square, wet shirt.
*'''Dry clothes''' with a '''Stove/oven''': Yellow square, dry shirt with small burn-like patches.
*'''Dry clothes''' with a '''Dryer''': Green square, dry shirt.

{{comic discussion}}

[[Category:Comics with color]]
[[Category:Confusion matrices]]
[[Category:Charts]]
[[Category:Food]]

1890: What to Bring

2024-10-23T14:32:23Z

Whoop whoop pull up: /* Explanation */

{{comic
| number = 1890
| date = September 15, 2017
| title = What to Bring
| image = what_to_bring_NEW.png
| titletext = I always figured you should never bring a gun to a gun fight because then you'll be part of a gun fight.
}}

==Explanation==
This comic derives its humor from combining two common but unrelated phrases: the proverb "never bring a knife to a gun fight", and the common advice "never put water on an oil fire". The corollary to these phrases is that a knife is only useful for a knife fight, and water is only useful for a wood fire (or similar solid and porous fuel). [[Randall]] creates a {{w|confusion matrix}} applying each of the solutions (knives, guns, lids, and water) to each of the situations (knife fight, gun fight, wood fire, oil fire) to predict the likely outcomes.

The squares in the table are highlighted in green to answer "Yes" to the question, where the specified object is appropriate or advantageous for the situation, or red to answer "No", usually because the object would not be helpful in resolving the situation. The grid concludes that, not only are both pieces of advice correct (bringing knives to gun fights, and using water on oil fires would both end in likely disaster), but only the prescribed solutions are appropriate for each situation (e.g. any solution other than a lid would be ineffective for an oil fire, and potentially very dangerous). The sole exception to this trend is bringing a gun to a knife fight, which would give you a major tactical advantage over your opponent.

The ultimate point of this comic may be in the title text. There is a phrase in American English, "to bring a knife to a gun fight," which means "to be so naive as to be unprepared." While Randall may be commenting specifically on managing {{w|conflict escalation}} by being adequately prepared for the situation, it is also possible that he is subtly expressing his opinion about the virtues of restraint.

{| class="wikitable" | style="background:#E6C3C3;"
! Should you bring ... to ...
! scope="col"| a knife fight
! scope="col"| a gun fight
! scope="col"| a wood fire
! scope="col"| an oil fire
|-
! scope="row"| a knife
| style="background:#C5E6C3;"| If you bring a knife to a knife fight, you will be evenly matched with your opponent (all else equal).
| If you bring a knife to a gun fight, you will be at a perilous disadvantage. (Although, at close range, a knife is considered more lethal than a firearm in certain situations, e.g. a holstered pistol.)
| Attempting to stab a wood fire with a knife will only lead to you being burned.
| Attempting to stab an oil fire will only cause you to get burned and leave metallic scrapes in the pan.
|-
! scope="row"| a gun
| style="background:#C5E6C3;"| Bringing a gun to a knife fight will usually leave your opponent at a perilous disadvantage due to the gun's far greater range. (Though if the fight is in close quarters, you may be at a disadvantage - although likely not if your gun is already drawn and aimed, as the comic shows. You may also be accused of "not playing fair", but only if you leave survivors.)
| style="background:#C5E6C3;"| <ref>While the chart states that you should bring a gun to a gun fight, the title text makes the observation that bringing a gun to a gunfight might just raise your status from 'inconsequential bystander' to 'combatant'. So perhaps you shouldn't bring a gun to a gun fight if not bringing one is a way to avoid being considered part of the fight. It probably all depends on why there is a gun fight to begin with, and why you are choosing to go to it, with or without a gun (or knife or water or lid). Or Randall may simply (and wisely) mean that you shouldn't go to a gunfight at all, which is a genuinely valid point, and not a joke. If you're not there, you can't get shot.</ref> Bringing a gun to a gun fight will leave you {{w|Mexican standoff|evenly matched with your opponent}}.
| colspan="2"| Shooting at a wood or an oil fire will not extinguish either one. Depending on the exact caliber of the bullet, you may even end up scattering the wood or oil fueling the flames, leaving you with a worse situation than before. Also, most bullets contain lead, so the heat of the fire may cause the bullet to give off toxic fumes.
|-
! scope="row"| water
| colspan="2"| Splashing either a knife-wielder or a gunman with water may blind your opponent briefly, but if you're still in a fight (i.e. you cannot use the opportunity to flee), it won't win you the fight. (However, water can disable some antique guns that use black powder, since the powder will not ignite when wet.)
| style="background:#C5E6C3;"| Wood fires are best extinguished with a well-aimed splash of water.
| Pouring water on an oil fire is notorious for creating huge fireballs and scattering the oil, making the situation even worse ({{w|boilover}}).
|-
! scope="row"| a lid
| colspan="2"| Attempting to put a lid on the head or weapon of a knife-wielder or gunman will probably not help matters,{{Citation needed}} as it may only serve to agitate them. While it might momentarily confuse your opponent, it probably won't give you much of a running start. (However, a metal lid with the right sort of handle could serve as a makeshift {{w|buckler|shield}}.)
| Trying to put out a wood fire with a lid would usually require a lid far too large for you to carry.
| style="background:#C5E6C3;"| An {{w|Class B fire|oil fire}} is best extinguished by cutting it off from oxygen; stove top oil fires generally occur in cooking pans, which often come with lids suited to making an airtight seal. A fire-resistant blanket or towel also works well for this purpose.
|}

==Transcript==
:[Text in the top-left corner of the comic:]

:"Should you bring _____ to ______?"

:[The comic is laid out like a grid, with implements down the left-hand side (A knife / A gun / Water / A lid) and the type of "fight" across the top (A knife fight / A gun fight / A wood fire / An oil fire). The grid illustrates the "match-ups", with a green square denoting a "correct" match-up and a red square denoting a Very Bad Idea.]

:[From the top left corner, going from left to right, top to bottom, with each first item being on its own line in the grid, the squares are as follows:]

:[Green square, two combatants face off against each other with knives, equally matched.]
:*'''A knife''' to '''A knife fight'''

:[Red square, a person with a knife faces off against someone with a gun, and is clearly outmatched.]
:*'''A knife''' to '''A gun fight'''

:[Red square, a person holds a knife in a wood fire while saying "OW OW OW".]
:*'''A knife''' to '''A wood fire'''

:[Red square, the person with the knife scrapes at the oil inside the pan that's on fire while saying "OW OW OW". The scraping accompanied by the text "SCRAPE SCRAPE".]
:*'''A knife''' to '''An oil fire'''

:[Green square, the person with the gun points it at the opponent with the knife, who exclaims, "Dude!"]
:*'''A gun''' to '''A knife fight'''

:[Green square, two combatants point guns at one another, equally matched.]
:*'''A gun''' to '''A gun fight'''

:[Red square, the person with the gun shoots pointlessly three times at the wood fire, which carries on blazing. The shooting is accompanied by the text "BLAM BLAM BLAM".]
:*'''A gun''' to '''A wood fire'''

:[Red square, the person with the gun shoots at the flaming pan, which does nothing to put it out. The shooting is accompanied by the text "BLAM".]
:*'''A gun''' to '''An oil fire'''

:[Red square, the person with the water throws it uselessly in the face of the person holding the knife.]
:*'''Water''' to '''A knife fight'''

:[Red square, the person with the water throws it uselessly in the face of the person holding the gun.]
:*'''Water''' to '''A gun fight'''

:[Green square, the person throws the water on the fire and successfully extinguishes it, which makes a "SPLOOSH" sound.]
:*'''Water''' to '''A wood fire'''

:[Red square, the person is shown reeling back from the oil fire, the water glass going flying, as the oil fire explodes with a "FOOM".]
:*'''Water''' to '''An oil fire'''

:[Red square, the person with the lid comically places it on the head of the person with the knife, who stands there in confusion.]
:*'''A lid''' to '''A knife fight'''

:Red square, the person with the lid ineffectually places it on top of the gun the other person is pointing at them.
:*'''A lid''' to '''A gun fight'''

:Red square, the person with the lid holds it near the wood fire, which does nothing to put out the fire.
:*'''A lid''' to '''A wood fire'''

:[Green square, the person places the lid on top of the oil fire, which suffocates and extinguishes it.]
:*'''A lid''' to '''An oil fire'''

==Trivia==

*The original image for this comic was missing one of Cueball's arms in the first panel. The original image is [https://www.explainxkcd.com/wiki/index.php/File:what_to_bring.png here].
{{comic discussion}}

[[Category:Comics with color]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Cueball]]
[[Category:Confusion matrices]]
[[Category:Multiple Cueballs]]
[[Category:Charts]]
[[Category:Comics edited after their publication]]

== Notes ==

3001: Temperature Scales

2024-10-23T14:08:43Z

Whoop whoop pull up: /* Explanation */

{{comic
| number = 3001
| date = October 21, 2024
| title = Temperature Scales
| image = temperature_scales_2x.png
| imagesize = 740x535px
| noexpand = true
| titletext = In my new scale, °X, 0 is Earths' record lowest surface temperature, 50 is the global average, and 100 is the record highest, with a linear scale between each point and adjustment every year as needed.
}}

==Explanation==
{{incomplete|Created by an EXPONENTIAL TEMPERATURE SYSTEM. Do NOT delete this tag too soon.}}

Since the invention of the thermometer, a number of different temperature scales have been proposed. In modern times, most of the world uses {{w|Celsius}} for everyday temperature measurements, as it is part of the {{w|metric system}} that has been widely adopted for official uses. A small number of countries (namely Liberia, the USA and its three associated free states in the Pacific) retain the US customary (or 'imperial') system, which uses the ''slightly'' older {{w|Fahrenheit}} scale (°F was initially defined in 1724, the general current form of °C was created in 1743). The other widely used temperature scale is {{w|Kelvin}}, which uses the same scale as Celsius, but is rooted at {{w|absolute zero}}, making it both useful in scientific calculations and easy to convert to and from Celsius. Even in countries that use Fahrenheit regularly, scientific measurements are typically done in Celsius and/or Kelvin.

The strip proceeds to compare these scales, and a number of others, on a scaled of "cursed"-ness. The joke is highlighting how strange and generally difficult to use many older proposed systems were. All of the listed scales are real, but may be considered obsolete to varying degrees (though some, such as Rankine, are still sometimes used in legacy applications).

{| class=wikitable
! scope="col" | Unit
! scope="col" | Water Freezes
! scope="col" | Water Boils
! scope="col" | Notes
! scope="col" | Cursedness
! scope="col" | Explanation
|-
| {{w|Celsius}} || 0 || 100 || Used in most of the world || 2/10 || Celsius is defined (indirectly, these days, by way of comparison to Kelvin) so that the freezing and boiling points of pure water at standard atmospheric pressure are 0 and 100 degrees respectively. This (along with Kelvin) is considered the least cursed temperature system (at least from those where the ranking values make any sense), likely due to Randall's background. Notably it is still considered a 2/10, implying an inherent degree of cursedness for all systems.
|-
| {{w|Kelvin}} || 273.15 || 373.15 || 0K is absolute zero || 2/10 || Kelvin is a scientific unit of measure invented by {{w|Lord Kelvin}} that intends to use the same scale as degrees Celsius, but is offset by 273.15, in order to set the zero point at absolute zero (by way of using the {{w|Boltzmann constant}}, as of 2019). Kelvin and Celsius are, by far, the most common units used in scientific measurements and calculations. Their utility and inherent logic is likely what makes them the least "cursed".
|-
| {{w|Fahrenheit}} || 32 || 212 || Outdoors in most places is between 0–100 || 3/10 || Fahrenheit is officially used in several countries across the globe, and unofficially in several others. It was derived in an era where powers of six were more popular in science than powers of ten, so water freezing and water boiling were calibrated to be 180° apart. In addition, Daniel Fahrenheit believed that pure water freezing was not worthy of the 0° benchmark and resolved to set 0° to the coldest possible temperature he could create: the freezing point of ammonium chloride brine. While modern scholars find these benchmarks arbitrary and outdated, it gained usage, primarily in Anglophone countries, likely due to the scale being considered intuitively useful for some common functions (the range roughly matches the typical span of weather conditions, for various ranges of climate, and the 100 point is quite near normal human body temperature, even though 90 was initially presumed to be this). While it was largely displaced by the Celsius scale, the US (Randall's home country) continues to typically use it. It is ranked as slightly more cursed than Celsius.
|-
| {{w|Réaumur scale|Réaumur}} || 0 || 80 || Like Celsius, but with 80 instead of 100 || 3/8 || A historical French system used in some places until the early 20th century. In modern times mostly used in cheesemaking. The rating (3/8) is a joke on the boiling point of water in standard atmosphere being 80 instead of 100 as it is in Celsius; converting this to an out-of-ten scale would give 3.75/10, labelling it as more cursed than Fahrenheit but less so than Rømer.
|-
| {{w|Rømer scale|Rømer}} || 7.5 || 60 || Fahrenheit precursor with similarly random design || 4/10 || Created by the Danish astronomer Ole Christensen Rømer in around 1702, while the Fahrenheit scale was proposed in 1724. Much like Fahrenheit, it uses the freezing point of ammonium chloride brine as the benchmark for 0°, and the scale is built with multiples of six in mind with the boiling point of pure water at 60°. Like the Fahrenheit scale, the freezing point of pure water was not originally considered significant by Ole Rømer, but the scale was later updated to fix it to 7.5. The scale is also the last common ancestor of Celsius and Fahrenheit, as Reuamur was inspired by it, and Celsius by Reamur, and Fahrenheit specifically wanted a Rømer scale with more steps to avoid using decimals.
|-
| {{w|Rankine scale|Rankine}} || 491.7 || 671.7 || Fahrenheit, but with 0°F set to absolute zero || 6/10 || As the chart mentions, Rankine is to Fahrenheit what Kelvin is to Celsius, an absolute scale rather than a relative one. The scale is mostly obsolete, but is still occasionally used in legacy industrial operations where absolute temperature scales are required.
For unclear reasons, Randall uses "0°F" to describe absolute zero on the Rankine scale, when the actual measurement would be written as 0°R. Both reference points are also rounded to one decimal place (from .67 to .7).

Randall has shown disdain for this scale before, like in [[2292: Thermometer]]. This is slightly odd, given that it makes ''more'' logical sense than Fahrenheit, as its zero point is somewhere logical rather than being arbitrarily defined.
|-
| {{w|Newton scale|Newton}} || 0 || 33-ish || Poorly defined, with reference points like "the hottest water you can hold your hand in" || 7-ish/10 || Created by Isaac Newton, measuring "degrees of heat". The rating (7-ish/10) is a joke about the vagueness of the scale's definition.
|-
| {{w|Wedgwood scale|Wedgwood}} || –8 || –6.7 || Intended for comparing the melting points of metals, all of which it was very wrong about || 9/10 || Created by potter Josiah Wedgwood in the 18th century. The measurement was based on the shrinking of clay when heated above red heat, but was found to be very inaccurate. Randall has a typo, as the scale is called Wedgwood (''without the e'').
|-
| Galen || –4? || 4?? || Runs from –4 (cold) to 4 (hot). 0 is "normal"(?) || 4/–4 || {{w|Galen}}, in his medical writings, is said to have proposed a standard "neutral" temperature made up of equal quantities of boiling water and ice; on either side of this temperature were four degrees of heat and four degrees of cold, respectively. The rating (4/–4) is a joke about the scale being defined between positive and negative 4, and could be interpreted as –100% cursedness, though it's not clear what negative cursedness would mean. Of course it is not actually clear what "cursedness" means, so maybe that is not an issue.
|-
| {{w|Celsius#History|''Real'' Celsius}} || 100 || 0 || In Anders Celsius's original specification, bigger numbers are ''colder''; others later flipped it || 10/0 || Most scales' temperatures can be indefinitely large, but have an absolute minimum temperature. By starting at a maximum value and counting down, this scale is indeed cursed, as nearly all possible temperatures (an indefinite range of them) will be negative. The rating (10/0) is a joke on the scale "flipping" the fixed points of modern Celsius. This might be interpreted as "infinitely cursed", or else just {{w|NaN|Not a Number}}.
The original logic was that zero could be easily calibrated to the height of a column of mercury at the temperature of boiling water, and further measurements then made of the amount it ''reduced'' in height under cooler conditions. This direction 'survives' in the historic {{w|Delisle scale}}, which predates (and arguably helped greatly inspire, though with a different factor) the classic version of °C. The version originally used by Anders was only 'corrected' posthumously, but nobody seemed bothered enough to do the same with Delisle's scale.
|-
| [https://physics.stackexchange.com/questions/459851/john-daltons-temperature-scale#459863 Dalton] || 0 || 100 || A nonlinear scale; 0°C and 100°C are 0 and 100 Dalton, but 50°C is 53.9 Dalton || 53.9/50 || {{w|John Dalton}} proposed a logarithmic temperature scale. The scale is defined so that absolute zero is at negative infinity, with the exponent chosen to match Celsius at 0 and 100. While Dalton temperature is defined for all positive and negative numbers, the nonlinear scale is difficult to work with since the amount of heat represented by a change of one degree Dalton is not constant. Degrees Dalton differs from Celsius by as much as 3.9 degrees between 0 and 100, but diverges much more for more extreme temperatures.

The rating (53.9/50) is a joke about the unit, as 53.9 Dalton would be 50 degrees Celsius — i.e. the cursedness could be understood as 50/50 (or 10/10, entirely cursed), but perhaps instead as 107.8% (even more than entirely cursed).
|-
| °X ([[Randall]]'s new temperature scale as defined in the title text) || 41.9 || 154.4 || Title text: "In my new scale, °X, 0 is Earths' [sic] record lowest surface temperature, 50 is the global average, and 100 is the record highest, with a linear scale between each point and adjustment every year as needed." || N/A (but likely ''very'') || Usually temperature records are measured 1 m above ground as surface temperatures can be much higher. It is uncertain if Randall actually meant surface or just usual temperature records like the ones mentioned here.

The record lowest temperature on Earth is –89.2°C (–128.6°F), recorded at the {{w|Vostok Station|Vostok Research Station}} in Antarctica on July 21, 1983. On the X scale, 0° would be set to this (unless it is surface temperature instead). This would be adjusted if a new lowest temperature were recorded.

The 50°X point would be set to the "global average", but it's unspecified what timespan this average is taken over. Since adjustments are made yearly, most likely the yearly average is meant; the most recent yearly average temperature, for 2023, was 14.98°C (58.96°F), which happened to be the highest ever by some margin.[https://climate.copernicus.eu/global-climate-highlights-2023]

The {{w|Highest temperature recorded on Earth|record highest temperature}} is 56.7°C (134.1°F), recorded on July 10, 1913 at {{w|Furnace Creek, California|Furnace Creek Ranch}} in Death Valley, California. This record is disputed, however, and a more reasonable record is 54°C (129.2°F), which has been recorded several times at Furnace Creek in recent years. [https://what-if.xkcd.com/152/] The X scale would set this temperature to 100° (unless the X scale uses surface temperature; surface temperatures on the ground of 94°C (201°F) have been recorded at Furnace Creek). The 100°X point would also be adjusted if a new highest temperature were measured.

{{cot|Derivation}}
To break the scale into two linear parts (below and above 17.16°C), we define two separate equations for each range:

1. Below 17.16°C (from –89.2°C to 17.16°C):
* 0 °X corresponds to –89.2°C
* 50 °X corresponds to 17.16°C

We calculate the slope m₁:

<center>m₁ = (50 – 0) / (17.16 – (–89.2)) = 50 / (17.16 + 89.2) = 50 / 106.36 ≈ 0.47</center>

Now, using the point (17.16°C, 50 °X), we calculate the intercept b₁:

<center>50 = 0.47 × 17.16 + b₁</center>

<center>50 = 8.06 + b₁</center>

<center>b₁ = 50 – 8.06 = 41.94</center>

Thus, the equation for temperatures '''below 17.16°C''' is:

<center>'''X = 0.47 × C + 41.94'''</center>

2. Above 17.16°C (from 17.16°C to 56.7°C):
* 50 °X corresponds to 17.16°C
* 100 °X corresponds to 56.7°C

We calculate the slope m₂:

<center>m₂ = (100 – 50) / (56.7 – 17.16) = 50 / 39.54 ≈ 1.26</center>

Now, using the point (17.16°C, 50 °X), we calculate the intercept b₂:

<center>50 = 1.26 × 17.16 + b₂</center>

<center>50 = 21.63 + b₂</center>

<center>b₂ = 50 – 21.63 = 28.37</center>

Thus, the equation for temperatures '''above 17.16°C''' is:

<center>'''X = 1.26 × C + 28.37'''</center>

;Freezing and Boiling Points

Freezing point of water (0°C): Since 0°C is below 17.16°C, we use the equation X = 0.47 × C + 41.94:

<center>X = 0.47 × 0 + 41.94 = 41.94</center>

So, the freezing point is 41.9 °X.

Boiling point of water (100°C): Since 100°C is above 17.16°C, we use the equation X = 1.26 × C + 28.37:

<center>X = 1.26 × 100 + 28.37 = 126 + 28.37 = 154.37</center>

So, the boiling point is 154.4 °X.
{{cob}}
See also [[2701: Change in Slope]].

Since extreme temperature records are being broken frequently due to {{w|climate change}}, this scale will need to be recalibrated regularly.

Randall also fails to specify what happens with temperatures beyond the record extreme surface temperatures. The simplest approach would appear to be to extend the slope of the two defined areas beyond the boundaries, but given the awkwardness of what is specified, there is no reason to assume that simplicity is a design consideration here.

See [[1061: EST]] for another example of an overly complicated system of measurement. As part of the title text, a cursedness scale isn't given.
|}

==Transcript==
{{incomplete transcript|Do NOT delete this tag too soon.}}

:Temperature Scales

:[A table with five columns, labelled: Unit, water freezing point, water boiling point, notes, cursedness. There are eleven rows below the labels.]

:[Row 1:] Celsius, 0, 100, Used in most of the world, 2/10
:[Row 2:] Kelvin, 273.15, 373.15, 0K is absolute zero, 2/10
:[Row 3:] Fahrenheit, 32, 212, Outdoors in most places is between 0–100, 3/10
:[Row 4:] Réaumur, 0, 80, Like Celsius, but with 80 instead of 100, 3/8
:[Row 5:] Rømer, 7.5, 60, Fahrenheit precursor with similarly random design, 4/10,
:[Row 6:] Rankine, 491.7, 671.7, Fahrenheit, but with 0°F set to absolute zero, 6/10
:[Row 7:] Newton, 0, 33-ish, Poorly defined, with reference points like "the hottest water you can hold your hand in", 7-ish/10
:[Row 8:] Wedgewood, –8, –6.7, Intended for comparing the melting points of metals, all of which it was very wrong about, 9/10
:[Row 9:] Galen, –4?, 4??, Runs from –4 (cold) to 4 (hot). 0 is "normal"(?), 4/–4
:[Row 10:] ''Real'' Celsius, 100, 0, In Anders Celsius's original specification, bigger numbers are ''colder''; others later flipped it, 10/0
:[Row 11:] Dalton, 0, 100, A nonlinear scale; 0°C and 100°C are 0 and 100 Dalton, but 50°C is 53.9 Dalton, 53.9/50

{{comic discussion}}

[[Category:Charts]]
[[Category:Science]]

Talk:1330: Kola Borehole

2024-10-23T06:09:47Z

Whoop whoop pull up:

Reminds me of the title text in #[[1218]]: Doors of Durin. [[User:Whimsye|Whimsye]] ([[User talk:Whimsye|talk]]) 06:21, 14 February 2014 (UTC)

Surely this is a Dwarf Fortress reference. The Soviets breached the Happy Fun Stuff! [[Special:Contributions/108.162.250.5|108.162.250.5]] 06:42, 14 February 2014 (UTC)

:Well, DF ''has'' that connotation, but both the [[wikipedia:Kola_Superdeep_Borehole|real thing]] and the [[wikipedia:Well_to_Hell_hoax|hoax]] are older than Toady's game, so perhaps not so much a reference to DF (although Black Hat does propose a typically DF-player solution... I hope he's prepared for [http://dwarffortresswiki.org/index.php/FPS FPS Hell] from the flowing liquids). Randall ''[[1223|knows]]'' about DF, of course.
:(BTW, from that (first, factual event) page: "In 1983, the drill passed 12,000 m (39,000 ft), and drilling was stopped for about a year to celebrate the event." ...Russians!) [[Special:Contributions/141.101.98.176|141.101.98.176]] 08:18, 14 February 2014 (UTC)

Lakes and Oceans #[[1040]] also mentions the Kola Borehole.[[Special:Contributions/199.27.128.70|199.27.128.70]] 09:03, 14 February 2014 (UTC)Nix

If Hell would be a physical place, I don't think {{w|Lucifer}} would still be ruling there. In next war between Heaven and Hell, the winners will be anime and/or computer games nerds. Both Heaven and Hell will lose. :-) -- [[User:Hkmaly|Hkmaly]] ([[User talk:Hkmaly|talk]]) 11:06, 14 February 2014 (UTC)

One may recall from the ''Divine Comedy'' that Dante's imagery of Hell is a negative-mountain-shaped abyss that starts widest at the surface of our allegorical planet and ends at a point far below the surface where Satan resides. The deeper you go, the narrower the abyss gets, like a cone, and the more heinous the sinners. On the other side of the planet there is a mountain made from all that earth God removed to dig the Inferno. The Saints (all those who are saved by faith from the other fate) progress up the mountain through Purgatory to reach Paradise. ''— [[User:Tbc|tbc]] ([[User talk:Tbc|talk]]) 14:01, 14 February 2014 (UTC)''

I remember reading about this in Dial the Truth ministries: http://www.av1611.org/hell.html
Either way, in the war between Earth and Hell, I shall be in Heaven. [[User:Greyson|Greyson]] ([[User talk:Greyson|talk]]) 14:51, 14 February 2014 (UTC)

In the game terraria it is actually possible to dig a tunnel from the ocean to hell. I tried this but not enough water came through the tunnel to flood it.[[Special:Contributions/108.162.250.162|108.162.250.162]] 21:52, 16 July 2015 (UTC)

In Dante's Inferno, Hell is depicted as being a cold place since it is far from the warmth of the Creator. The modern hot version of hell is a byproduct of the fire and brimstone of the reformation period. [[Special:Contributions/108.162.210.254|108.162.210.254]] 16:47, 14 February 2014 (UTC)

:except that Dante is more modern than the "hot version of hell"! That one is mentioned in the bible in a few places, which is a bit earlier than Dante. The book of Revelations has rivers of sulphur, so not just hot but also smelly. Matthew's gospel refers to 'the eternal fire prepared for the devil and his angels'. He also mentioned a blazing furnace, where there will be weeping and gnashing of teeth. There was a tale (Dave Allen maybe?) where Ian Paisley was preaching on that 'gnashing of teeth' text, and an old woman protested "but reverend, I don't have any teeth". The booming reply from the pulpit: "Teeth... will be provided!" [[Special:Contributions/162.158.90.90|162.158.90.90]] 13:46, 30 November 2018 (UTC)

About the kola superdeep borehole being welded-shut - that seems to be actualy true. The wikipedia page on the borehole has a picture of it being welded shut, and the reference about the bore hole project being abandonded, an article in russian[http://www.rg.ru/2008/10/15/skvazhina.html], says that it was welded shut in 1995. Could someone update that? --[[Special:Contributions/141.101.99.8|141.101.99.8]] 21:07, 14 February 2014 (UTC)
:Not only that, it was apparently capped with concrete as well [http://www.wired.com/2014/01/an-artist-records-the-mysterious-rumblings-of-middle-earth/] [[Special:Contributions/141.101.89.217|141.101.89.217]] 12:54, 10 May 2014 (UTC)

When he says that she probably won't be on his side, I took it to mean that he'll be on his own side during the war, fighting against both Hell and Earth. Since she's nice, she probably wouldn't join him. [[Special:Contributions/108.162.237.64|108.162.237.64]] 19:37, 15 February 2014 (UTC)

I took his comment in the final panel to mean that he is actually affiliated with hell and that somehow flooding Hell would release its contents rather than extinguish them. It was a very eerie thought that I'm sticking to. [[Special:Contributions/108.162.222.185|108.162.222.185]] 12:48, 18 March 2015 (UTC) 21:37, 18 March 2015 (KST)

If there's ever a war between heaven and hell, my soul will be too busy exploring space to give a shit about it.

On a side note, I'd expect such sounds might actually have been "heard" in the chamber. Or it is theoretically possible. The sound of escaping hot gases, especially in chorus, would sound awfully similar to tormented screaming. So in a way, the sounds would sound similar.

Although in thinking about this one more deeply, another comic comes to mind as I freak out about the fact the scary magma chambers are RIGHT BELOW ME. I could easily walk the lateral distance separating me and them in a few hours. Or could scale a mountain with that distance in a day or so. Or in a few seconds using a lot of rocket fuel. But to go down that distance takes a lot more effort... hm. Of course there are always volcanoes.

Too busy thinking about space to worry about a war between hell and heaven. [[User:International Space Station|International Space Station]] ([[User talk:International Space Station|talk]]) 05:13, 22 April 2016 (UTC)
:Username checks out [[User:Whoop whoop pull up|Whoop whoop pull up]] ([[User talk:Whoop whoop pull up|talk]]) 06:09, 23 October 2024 (UTC)

Just curious: what would realistically happen if the Kola Borehole was actually flooded with ocean water? The temperature at the bottom being 180 °C (according to Wikipedia), would it behave like a geyser? {{unsigned ip|162.158.126.82|19:55, 15 August 2018}}
:sign your COMMENT! [[User:CalibansCreations|'''Caliban''']] ([[User talk:CalibansCreations|talk]]) 07:50, 10 October 2024 (UTC)
::Even better, you can 'nag sign' it for them. Find the edit in the history of changes for the page. In this case the one with "Revision as of 19:55, 15 August 2018 (edit) (undo) 162.158.126.82 (talk) Newer edit →" at the top. Copy enough of that to have the revision timestamp and IP (or username) in your paste-buffer. Then use {{template|unsigned ip}} (or {{template|unsigned}}, for the absent-minded usernamed editors) and add the 'who' and 'when' parameters to it. As I've just done above. You can do it without the timestamp (but why would you, having found the full info?) and even leave it bare of 'user' info (but the template shows that it ''expects'' at least the first param). Adding a third parameter is also possible, to override the default "please sign" message, but perhaps do that sparingly.
::Though there's also often a lack, in these 'early' article Talk: pages, of the header comment that says "add comments to the bottom, and sign with <nowiki>~~~~</nowiki>" (which not everyone would read, but they certainly can't if it's not there), and often the unsigned comment is ''so'' old that they were made before these things were routinely there to be reminded of. I've also added it in here, but of course it's all only a partial (and retrospective) solution to these problems.
::And it's not unusual for a signature-aware editor to just over-eagerly forget, in their rush to post their latest witicism. As soon as they realise, they may (post-)sign it, but could take a little while. Six years is probably more than long enough to wait before nag-signing. ;
::If you ''know'' the user(name) as normally quite conscientious in signing, it is also possible to copypaste the correct info over the bits in a copy of a legitimate .sig taken from another edit on the page. But you really have to nag all anonymous IPs, at least ''pour encourager les autres''. Keep it in everyone's mind, and prompt prospective new editors with at least a modicum of foreknowledge. [[Special:Contributions/172.70.91.77|172.70.91.77]] 10:35, 10 October 2024 (UTC)

2359: Evidence of Alien Life

2024-10-05T02:58:45Z

Whoop whoop pull up: /* Transcript */

{{comic
| number = 2359
| date = September 14, 2020
| title = Evidence of Alien Life
| image = evidence_of_alien_life.png
| titletext = Both too cautious AND not cautious enough: "I'm skeptical that those are aliens, so I'm going to try pulling off their masks."
}}

==Explanation==

This comic depicts a table of possible responses to new information on the possibility of alien life. It is presented in table form, with the columns representing three categories of reaction to new evidence, and the rows representing the strength of new evidence, increasing down the table. Each intersection then shows a small scenario of what the response would be. The left and right-hand column scenarios are hyperbolic in either their acceptance or denial. The center column represents a reasonable course of action.{{Citation needed}}

This comic was a reaction to [https://www.nytimes.com/2020/09/14/science/venus-life-clouds.html the discovery of phosphine gas on Venus], which is where Ponytail's "V" figure in the second row comes from (a representation of the phosphine absorption feature). {{w|Phosphine}} is a molecule whose presence in the Venusian atmosphere came as a surprise. Light breaks phosphine down, meaning something must be producing it. However, there is no known abiotic mechanism on Venus that would produce the gas in the quantities observed. The phosphine could therefore be a sign of {{w|life on Venus}}, but more evidence is needed. Venus was also an unexpected place to find a possible sign of life — although it was {{w|Venus in fiction|a common pulp fiction setting in the early 20th-century}}, the arrival of the space probe era dashed hopes that the hidden surface might be, say, an exotic jungle (one of the more common pulp-fiction concepts). More recent efforts at finding life in the Solar System have mostly focused on Mars and various ice moons with suspected {{w|Ocean#Natural_satellites|subsurface oceans}}, but life more-or-less as we know it could exist within the upper atmosphere of Venus, which has more Earth-like conditions than the surface. However, while the discovery of phosphine is interesting, it is not nearly enough evidence to claim that "life has been found" on Venus, and likewise, it is comically understated to refer to the paper as "evidence of molecules" in Venus's atmosphere.

The title text refers to an action which is simultaneously too cautious and not cautious enough: the speaker is skeptical that aliens exist, which is usually an appropriate belief, except that presumably Megan and Cueball are in the situation presented in the bottom row, where aliens have landed right in front of them. Rather than modifying his belief (presumably it's Cueball, who was the one to approach the aliens in the other panels), he expresses an intention to approach the alleged aliens and attempt to remove their masks. He believes that he will expose a human wearing a costume, perpetrating a {{tvtropes|ScoobyDooHoax|"Scooby-Doo"-style hoax}}, but no matter what the outcome is, he's acting rashly. If the beings before him are aliens, he will be initiating a very aggressive first contact and will likely receive a violent response, and even if the alien is not violent, Cueball might end up removing an environmental apparatus that is protecting it from Earth's environment (or vice versa). On the other hand, even if the "aliens" really are fakes, Cueball might end up injuring someone who is just playing a harmless joke (and who'd want to keep ''some'' kind of mask on to reduce the spread of {{w|COVID-19}}). Also, aggressively reaching out to grab an impostor's mask and yanking on it might likewise produce a violent response.

===Description of responses===
In the first row, an asteroid looks like an "alien probe". The "least cautious" response immediately jumps to the conclusion that the asteroid '''is''' an alien probe. The "too cautious" response simply ignores the possible implications of the asteroid and instead diverts either into a {{w|I know that I know nothing|Socratic assertion}} or some other less relevent form of [https://youtu.be/vh5kZ4uIUC0 philosophical doubt], while the "appropriately cautious" response seeks to discover more pertinent information about the asteroid. Some humor is derived from the "appropriately cautious" response including a firm and unambiguous "it's not aliens".

The "alien probe" asteroid refers to {{w|'Oumuamua}}, which passed through the Solar System in 2017. 'Oumuamua's {{w|trajectory|hyperbolic trajectory}} indicated interstellar origin. Because of the unusual elongated shape suggested by its {{w|albedo}} (the object was never visualized as more than a point source of light) and indications of a slight non-gravity related acceleration, there were many wild speculations about 'Oumuamua's origin, including it being an alien probe similar to the one presented in the science fiction classic {{w|Rendezvous_with_Rama|Rendezvous with Rama}}. The image of an astronomer looking through a telescope and being alarmed by seeing "something huge" which is actually very small and very close is [https://www.shutterstock.com/image-vector/men-pleased-fake-ufo-293395676 an old comic gag], but the difference in parallax would immediately distinguish a close asteroid from a far one.

The second row refers to the discovery of phosphine gas on Venus, with the "least cautious" response to simply conclude that there '''is''' life on Venus. The "appropriately cautious" and "too cautious" responses provide more general conclusions about "molecules" on Venus, with the latter adding nothing at all to our understanding.

In the final row, aliens have arrived on Earth. The insufficiently cautious approach is to immediately hug them. Cueball might make a new friend, but he might also be mistaken as an attacker, or perhaps the aliens are {{tvtropes|ToServeMan|intending to make a meal}} of whoever approaches them. The more responsible approach is to (consider attempting to) communicate at a distance. In the final panel, the United Nations building is being vaporized by energy beams. This is technically "just" a "possible biosignature", as there are abiotic stellar events that produce energetic beams (although those are usually the size of planets or stars rather than buildings) and the beams could also be {{w|The Pink Panther Strikes Again|of human origin}}, but debating such semantics in the face of such destructive power seems excessively pedantic. For that matter, even though that panel is presented as "too cautious", it's only "too cautious" in the sense of "discussing the possibility of alien life"; Megan and Cueball are showing extreme ''lack'' of caution by remaining in the vicinity of an alien attack.

The destruction of human governmental buildings is a common trope in science fiction films, as a way of aliens removing the ability of humanity to co-ordinate a response to an attack. The United Nations building is [https://nypost.com/2017/12/11/former-uk-official-reveals-plan-in-case-of-alien-invasion/ allegedly] the co-ordination centre for a worldwide response to an extraterrestrial incursion. However, since popular culture in the USA currently doesn't pay much attention to the United Nations, in American movies it is more commonly the White House or larger cities like New York or Los Angeles that get blown up by aliens. (While the United Nations Secretariat Building is ''in'' New York, it would be a general destruction of the area and only notable cultural landmarks – perhaps the Empire State Building or Chrysler Building – or the general financial/commercial/social disruption are more likely to be dwelt upon in detail.)

==Transcript==

:[The comic is laid out like a 3 by 3 grid, with the amount of evidence down the left-hand side (Weak Evidence of Alien Life/Promising Evidence/Definite Evidence) and the type of reaction across the top (Not Cautious Enough/Appropriately Cautious/Too Cautious). Each box is a combination of the row label and column label.]

::[Row 1: Weak Evidence of Alien Life]
:::[Column 1: Not Cautious Enough]
::::[Cueball is looking through a telescope. There is a long, thin asteroid seen through the telescope, shown on the upper-left hand corner in the panel.]
::::Cueball: This asteroid is probably an alien probe!
:::[Column 2: Appropriately Cautious]
::::[Same scene as before, except the asteroid is omitted.]
::::Cueball: This asteroid is weird and we should take a closer look.
::::Cueball: It's not aliens.
:::[Column 3: Too Cautious]
::::Cueball: This asteroid appears to be far away, but it could also be nearby and just very small.

::[Row 2: Promising Evidence]
:::[Column 1: Not Cautious Enough]
::::[Ponytail runs excitedly to Cueball. She carries a notepad with a V on it.]
::::Ponytail: They found life on Venus!
:::[Column 2: Appropriately Cautious]
::::[Same scene, except Ponytail is simply looking at her notepad.]
::::Ponytail: These molecules might be produced by life, or by weird high-heat chemistry.
:::[Column 3: Too Cautious]
::::[Same scene, except Ponytail's arm is slack by her side.]
::::Ponytail: There is growing evidence that the atmosphere of Venus contains molecules.

::[Row 3: Definite Evidence]
:::[Column 1: Not Cautious Enough]
::::[There is a UFO with two aliens coming out of it. Cueball excitedly runs to the aliens, while Megan waits. There are three UFOs flying in the background.]
::::Cueball: I'm going to go give those aliens a hug!
:::[Column 2: Appropriately Cautious]
::::[Two aliens are on the ground, and the foreground UFO is no longer in the frame. Cueball is talking to Megan. There are three UFOs in the background.]
::::Cueball: Oh wow, aliens!
::::Cueball: Should we try to communicate?
:::[Column 3: Too Cautious]
::::[Three UFOs are shooting beams into the United Nations building, vaporizing it. Cueball and Megan are watching.]
::::Megan: The energy beams vaporizing the United Nations could be a possible biosignature.

{{comic discussion}}

[[Category:Comics featuring Cueball]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Megan]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Ponytail]]
[[Category:Space]]
[[Category:Aliens]]
[[Category:Charts]]

1948: Campaign Fundraising Emails

2024-10-05T02:31:17Z

Whoop whoop pull up: /* Explanation */

{{comic
| number = 1948
| date = January 29, 2018
| title = Campaign Fundraising Emails
| image = campaign_fundraising_emails.png
| titletext = The establishment doesn't take us seriously. You know who else they didn't take seriously? Hitler. I'll be like him, but a GOOD guy instead of…
}}

==Explanation==
Many politicians and organizations in the United States have taken to using email to conduct aggressive fundraising drives seeking campaign contributions. Signing a petition or expressing interest in a cause can lead to being added to a myriad of mailing lists for similar groups, all looking for support. This comic shows a caricature of the kind of inbox that can result from this. The emails get more and more absurd as the list goes on. For example, the last one combines a request for campaign contributions with the infamous 'Nigerian prince' {{w|advance-fee scam}} emails.

{| border =1 width=100% cellpadding=5 class="wikitable"
! E-mail Body !! Explanation
|-
|'''Donate now.''' It's crunch time, and we're low on cash. If you chip in just $5 by midnight, we…
|This is the classic formula for campaign fundraising emails, and may be a real example. It is always "crunch time" during a campaign (at least between filing for candidacy and election day), and campaigns are always "low" on cash relative to the unlimited funding they would prefer. The ends of financial reporting periods, often at midnight, are conflated with "deadlines" of significant consequence. Further, the donation requested is less about the actual money - even if $5 each from several thousand voters can add up - but to get a donor to have their money placed on a candidate, making it more likely that donor will vote for the candidate (via encouraging {{w|Sunk cost#Loss_aversion_and_the_sunk_cost_fallacy|the "sunk cost" fallacy}}), or to allow the targeting of future messages based on how engaged the recipient is with the campaign.
|-
|'''Donate $35.57 now!''' Our data team has determined that we should ask you for $35.57 to optimize the…
|A key factor in the success of a fundraising campaign is the amount of the donation that is asked for or suggested. Even if the donor is ultimately free to donate whatever amount they want, the initial 'ask' can have a significant effect on the amount donated, due to the psychological effect of {{w|Anchoring (cognitive bias)|anchoring}}. Increasing the suggested amount may increase the amount of the average donation, but it may also put some people off donating altogether. Finding the sweetspot allows the fundraiser to maximize the income generated.

Most modern bulk mailing platforms allow users send different versions of their emails to recipients at random. Using analytics packages, they can then determine which version of their messages is most effective at eliciting the desired result (such as making a purchase, reading a story, etc.) from recipients, or even from particular segments, and to refine future emails accordingly. Use of these techniques has resulted in fundraisers moving away from traditional 'round' numbers ($10, $25, etc.) to ask for more unusual looking amounts which increase the average amount donated, either by exploiting {{w|Psychological pricing|such effects}} as the "99 cent" phenomenon or giving those that ask an appearance of 'knowing what they're talking about' to give the potential donor the impression that they're good with details and wouldn't be overwhelmed by the pressures of being in office.

However, it would be unusual to use quite such a precise amount told them, which may actually appear cynical in its attempt to bleed the donor to a maximal amount, and put many off donating altogether. This is rather than at least the pretense to be coming directly from a more optimal and restrained need/capability calculation. The email then compounds this by stating outright that this is what they have done, and entirely sheds any of the veil of it not being calculated ''simply'' to manipulate the recipient (even/especially if it had not been recalculated to differing odd values for each recipient), plus explicitly suggest that someone other than the message author did this so no longer conveys much of any innate confidence and trustworthiness one might have had in the sender themself.
|-
|'''Help.''' Our campaign made some mistakes and we need a lot of money ASAP. Any kind, but cash is…
|This email is honest about the campaign's incompetence, but is not likely to get much sympathy, except perhaps from those already very sympathetic to the candidate. Any campaign reduced to this level has probably already lost. The email appears to be suggesting that they would much prefer that donors send cash, presumably in the mail. This would raise several red flags: it might suggest that the campaign's finances are in such disarray that it cannot process checks, credit cards, etc. in a timely manner, or it might be that they want to keep donations off the books so that they can be diverted elsewhere, or to circumvent electoral spending restrictions. Even if no dishonesty is intended, it would increase the chances that cash could be stolen or otherwise misused more readily than other forms of payment.
|-
|'''Washington is broken.''' When I win, I'll look those other senators in the eye and tell them: "Jobs." Then I…
|This email, apparently from a candidate for the US Senate, takes a common populist approach of repeating particular phrases to imply that they will stand up for the interests of the common people against a system that is rigged against them, without giving any meaningful indication of what they intend to achieve. Not only is the mere statement of "jobs", without any kind of explanation of what problems they believe there are, or what they suggest doing about it, entirely unhelpful, they also seem to suggest that, despite them being elected, it would be everybody else's responsibility to solve it.
|-
|'''Hopeless.''' It's bad. Really bad. If you don't chip in now, the darkness spreading across the land will…
|This is a favorite of moral campaigns, on both sides of a debate. Grand statements about evil and corruption taking over the country if the campaign does not get enough support are common, but they are (hopefully!) extremely biased and dramatic. The wording in this case is also somewhat archaic and melodramatic, making it sound like something from a fantasy novel.
This might also refer to [[1391: Darkness]], where everyone forgets about the day and night cycle, and reporters are reporting on the darkness that has spread as far west as Texas.
|-
|As the first woman to fly a fighter jet through our state's formerly all-male university, I learned…
|Candidates often like to portray themselves as trailblazers for a particular community, who have persevered and achieved despite the odds. Normally, one would make a virtue of being the first ''from'' a university to do something, rather than the first to achieve something involving the university itself. Flying a plane through a university is risky, at the very least,{{Citation needed}} and depending on the definition of "through", could imply destruction of buildings or the plane itself, which might paint the candidate in an irresponsible light. The implication of "formerly all-male university" may be that the university was changed from being all-male in response to this candidate wrecking it with a fighter jet. This may also refer to the viral 2017 Congressional campaign ad of {{w|Amy McGrath}}, the first female Marine to fly an {{w|McDonnell Douglas F/A-18 Hornet|F-18}} in combat.
|-
|'''We're broke.''' No paid staff. No ads. And the cafe has told us to stop using their WiFi to send fundraising…
| This campaign tactic attempts to appeal to the reader's sympathy by describing financial struggles and poverty, but these tactics may instead make the movement look pathetic and poorly-organized, especially because the group is apparently so poor, they can't afford premises of their own to run the campaign from, or an internet connection to continue sending emails to ask for funding.
|-
|When Amy decided to run for Congress, I was like "Huh?" but I checked Wikipedia, and apparently it's a branch of…
|The first few words here might suggest the writer is about to explain how, having initially been skeptical, Amy's inspirational message and/or character has won them over to her campaign. This kind of message is used to make a candidate seem relatable and credible. In fact, though, they just didn't know what she was talking about, as they didn't know what Congress was. Since they clearly don't know much about the subject, this would fail to lend the weight it is aiming to.

Furthermore, while a familiar tone could also be part of a communication strategy to make the message seem relatable, this takes it to an extreme that would probably come across as unprofessional and lacking in seriousness.
|-
|'''Are you familiar''' with the Dutch painter Hieronymus Bosch? His work illustrates my opponent's plan for…
|The works of {{w|Hieronymus Bosch}} are famous for depictions of {{w|Hell}} and {{w|Limbo}} as brutal places of highly imaginative torments, which the sender implies would be similar to the country under their opponent's plan. This mocks the tendency of political campaigns to present an exaggerated view of how bad things would be if their political rivals were elected.
|-
|Being a single mom running a small business while going to law school while being deployed to Iraq taught me…
|Each of these are typical credentials that a candidate might cite in order to imply that they are hardworking and committed. However, it is extremely unlikely that one person would take on all of these responsibilities at the same time, and attempting to do so might suggest that they lack focus and aren't really that committed to any one thing. Also, it would be very difficult for someone to do all of these things simultaneously (e.g. running a small business while deployed in Iraq), so the person might come across as lying in order to impress people.
|-
|'''I will lead the fight''' against the big banks, special interests, the Earth's climate, and our children. I…
|This is another populist message listing off hot button topics. However, after starting out with some typical promises to fight fairly commonly despised things, it then becomes more controversial. It promises to fight the climate, with the peculiar implication that damaging the climate is the goal, and 'our children', which most voters would think would need protecting. This may be suggesting that politicians using these kind of messages are likely to be hiding bad intentions behind their attractive sounding slogans (or they may be just trying and failing to write a populist message without fully understanding it). The fight "against our children" may be a reference to a popular {{w|Bushism}}.
|-
|'''Wow.''' Have you seen this video of the squirrel obstacle course? Incredible! Anyway, I'm running because I…
|A typical form of {{w|clickbait}}. (Don't read another table entry until you've followed that link! Reference #10 will shock you). It is not a reference to [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hFZFjoX2cGg the Mark Rober squirrel obstacle course], a video that was released two years after this comic came out, but it may reference [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nWU0bfo-bSY this now-private video].
|-
|'''Outrageous.''' Granted, this was a few years ago, but did you hear what President Ford said about…
|When a politician makes an offensive comment, it's common for the politician's opponents to send out fundraising emails pointing out the politician's offensiveness as a way of generating donations to the fight against them. Political strategists will often keep dossiers of such remarks to be used when needed in campaigning season. More recently, there has been a trend for trawling opponents' social media accounts for controversial comments they may have made several years previously, or even as a youth. Here, the sender's reaction and e-mail fundraising effort appears to be unusually delayed, as it refers to an alleged comment by {{w|Gerald Ford}} (potentially a reference to his infamous gaffe that there was "no Soviet domination in Eastern Europe"), whose term as President of the United States ended in 1977 and who died in 2006.
|-
|'''Whoops.''' Due to a typo, we spent months running attack ads against Tom Hanks. Now, we need to make up for…
|The email apologizes for running months of attack ads against American actor {{w|Tom Hanks}}. Hanks is generally a popular and uncontroversial figure with [http://archive.boston.com/ae/celebrity/articles/2008/01/06/nice_guy_tom_hanks/ a reputation] for being [https://www.ranker.com/list/tom-hanks-was-the-best/lisa-waugh nice and likable in person], making him an unusual target for attack ads. This implies that the sender does not even know who their opponent is, and has mistakenly targeted the wrong person, demonstrating some significant ignorance and incompetence.
|-
|'''They say we can't win—'''that we're "underdogs" with "no money" who "lost the election last week." But they don't…
|In multi-candidacy electoral races, campaigns will often suggest that a rival 'can't win here', sometimes prefaced with an appeal to authority, such as 'Polls show...'. The hope is that some supporters of the candidate being attacked may be persuaded to switch their vote to the candidate whose campaign it is, in an effort to prevent a third, more disliked, candidate from being elected. Here, the approach seems to be a campaign mocking the opposition's statements about themselves, defiantly exhibiting the negative feedback against them before leading into some point to prove the arguments wrong. However, the complaints being mocked seem like serious flaws in the campaign, and indeed, it seems to confess that they ''already lost'', and thus have no purpose for a campaign anymore. Any campaign continuing to email supporters after losing is clearly in deep denial, especially if it thinks the negative press about it is unjustified.

This may refer to {{w|Roy Moore#U.S. Senate special election campaign|Roy Moore's attempts}} to overturn his loss in the December 2017 election for one of Alabama's US Senate seats, which came about a month before this comic and made national headlines. After the initial election count had him losing, he demanded a recount. That initial count said he had lost by a large enough margin that Alabama law required him to pay up front for a recount, and his campaign did not have enough funds available.
|-
|'''Our campaign's only chance''' is to seduce Jennifer ActBlue, heir to the ActBlue fortune. For that, we need a fancy…
|This e-mail alludes to [https://secure.actblue.com/ ActBlue], a political action committee that provides technology to help Democrat and progressive organizations to campaign and collect donations online. In reality, there is no ActBlue family, nor any "Jennifer ActBlue" who is the heir to its fortune; the name ActBlue is a portmanteau from the words "action", in a political sense, and the color "blue", which is {{w|Red states and blue states|closely associated}} with the Democratic Party in the USA. Even if Jennifer ActBlue was a real heiress, a candidate whose only hope to win revolved around seducing a wealthy woman would be facing serious problems.
|-
|'''Doom.''' Where is the horse and the rider? Where is the horn that was blowing? They have passed, like rain on…
|This is an excerpt from {{w|J. R. R. Tolkien|Tolkien's}} poem ''[http://tolkiengateway.net/wiki/Lament_for_the_Rohirrim Lament of the Rohirrim,]'' appearing in ''{{w|The Two Towers}}'': 
Where now the horse and the rider? Where is the horn that was blowing? 
Where is the helm and the hauberk, and the bright hair flowing? 
Where is the hand on the harpstring, and the red fire glowing? 
Where is the spring and the harvest and the tall corn growing? 
They have passed like rain on the mountain, like a wind in the meadow; 
The days have gone down in the West behind the hills into shadow. 
Who shall gather the smoke of the dead wood burning, 
Or behold the flowing years from the Sea returning?
|-
|'''Warmest greetings.''' I am the crown prince of Nigeria. I am running for Congress because I believe that…
|The opening line is designed to sound like spam for an {{W | Advance-fee scam}}. These scams typically involve impersonating someone rich, often a Nigerian prince, who claims to be in trouble and promises to share a large sum of money if the victim helps him by sending a small fee in advance. However, the second sentence of this email switches to sounding like a political fundraising email instead of an outright scam. This is either to establish a degrading comparison between flagrant scams and fundraising emails, or just to create a bait-and-switch joke. Another possibility is that the email sounds like it is a scam because it is a scam.
Note that a Nigerian crown prince could probably not run for Congress without renouncing his title. Congressional candidates must be citizens of the United States, and gaining US citizenship requires one to "renounce and abjure all allegiance and fidelity to any foreign prince, potentate, state, or sovereignty, of whom or which [they] have heretofore been a subject or citizen".[https://www.ecfr.gov/current/title-8 (citation)] It is unclear how one could renounce allegiance to a state which they expect to rule. The only way to avoid this requirement would be for the crown prince to be born in the United States (presumably while their parents were travelling in the country), thus potentially making them a natural-born citizen; even in this case, it might be open to question whether a child born to a foreign sovereign could be said to have been born under the jurisdiction of the United States (and thus to have gained United States citizenship at birth).
|-
|The establishment doesn't take us seriously. You know who else they didn't take seriously? Hitler. I'll be like him, but a GOOD guy instead of… (title text)
|A candidate who {{tvtropes|HitlerAteSugar|compares}} himself to {{w|Hitler}}, even when promising to be GOOD instead, will probably not get many votes. The title text does however conform to {{w|Godwin's law}}.
|}

==Transcript==
:[An e-mail inbox window is displayed. On each line appears an illegible e-mail address and a checkbox.]
:'''Donate now.''' It's crunch time, and we're low on cash. If you chip in just $5 by midnight, we…
:'''Donate $35.57 now!''' Our data team has determined that we should ask you for $35.57 to optimize the…
:'''Help.''' Our campaign made some mistakes and we need a '''lot''' of money ASAP. Any kind, but cash is…
:'''Washington is broken.''' When I win, I'll look those other senators in the eye and tell them: "Jobs." Then I…
:'''Hopeless.''' It's bad. Really bad. If you don't chip in now, the darkness spreading across the land will…
:As the first woman to fly a fighter jet through our state's formerly all-male university, I learned… 
:'''We're broke.''' No paid staff. No ads. And the cafe has told us to stop using their wifi to send fundraising…
:When Amy decided to run for Congress, I was like "Huh?" but I checked Wikipedia, and apparently it's a branch of…
:'''Are you familiar''' with the Dutch painter Hieronymous Bosch? His work illustrates my opponent's plan for…
:Being a single mom running a small business while going to law school while being deployed to Iraq taught me…
:'''I will lead the fight''' against the big banks, special interests, the Earth's climate, and our children. I…
:'''Wow.''' Have you seen this video of the squirrel obstacle course? Incredible! Anyway, I'm running because I…
:'''Outrageous.''' Granted, this was a few years ago, but did you hear what President Ford said about…
:'''Whoops.''' Due to a typo, we spent months running attack ads against Tom Hanks. Now, we need to make up for…
:'''They say we can't win—'''that we're "underdogs" with "no money" who "lost the election last week." But they don't…
:'''Our campaign's only chance''' is to seduce Jennifer ActBlue, heir to the ActBlue fortune. For that, we need a fancy…
:'''Doom.''' Where is the horse and the rider? Where is the horn that was blowing? They have passed, like rain on…
:'''Warmest greetings.''' I am the crown prince of Nigeria. I am running for Congress because I believe that…

{{comic discussion}}

[[Category:Politics]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Adolf Hitler]]
[[Category:Comics featuring politicians]]

1948: Campaign Fundraising Emails

2024-10-05T02:14:28Z

Whoop whoop pull up: /* Explanation */

{{comic
| number = 1948
| date = January 29, 2018
| title = Campaign Fundraising Emails
| image = campaign_fundraising_emails.png
| titletext = The establishment doesn't take us seriously. You know who else they didn't take seriously? Hitler. I'll be like him, but a GOOD guy instead of…
}}

==Explanation==
Many politicians and organizations in the United States have taken to using email to conduct aggressive fundraising drives seeking campaign contributions. Signing a petition or expressing interest in a cause can lead to being added to a myriad of mailing lists for similar groups, all looking for support. This comic shows a caricature of the kind of inbox that can result from this. The emails get more and more absurd as the list goes on. For example, the last one combines a request for campaign contributions with the infamous 'Nigerian prince' {{w|advance-fee scam}} emails.

{| border =1 width=100% cellpadding=5 class="wikitable"
! E-mail Body !! Explanation
|-
|'''Donate now.''' It's crunch time, and we're low on cash. If you chip in just $5 by midnight, we…
|This is the classic formula for campaign fundraising emails, and may be a real example. It is always "crunch time" during a campaign (at least between filing for candidacy and election day), and campaigns are always "low" on cash relative to the unlimited funding they would prefer. The ends of financial reporting periods, often at midnight, are conflated with "deadlines" of significant consequence. Further, the donation requested is less about the actual money - even if $5 each from several thousand voters can add up - but to get a donor to have their money placed on a candidate, making it more likely that donor will vote for the candidate (via encouraging {{w|Sunk cost#Loss_aversion_and_the_sunk_cost_fallacy|the "sunk cost" fallacy}}), or to allow the targeting of future messages based on how engaged the recipient is with the campaign.
|-
|'''Donate $35.57 now!''' Our data team has determined that we should ask you for $35.57 to optimize the…
|A key factor in the success of a fundraising campaign is the amount of the donation that is asked for or suggested. Even if the donor is ultimately free to donate whatever amount they want, the initial 'ask' can have a significant effect on the amount donated, due to the psychological effect of {{w|Anchoring (cognitive bias)|anchoring}}. Increasing the suggested amount may increase the amount of the average donation, but it may also put some people off donating altogether. Finding the sweetspot allows the fundraiser to maximize the income generated.

Most modern bulk mailing platforms allow users send different versions of their emails to recipients at random. Using analytics packages, they can then determine which version of their messages is most effective at eliciting the desired result (such as making a purchase, reading a story, etc.) from recipients, or even from particular segments, and to refine future emails accordingly. Use of these techniques has resulted in fundraisers moving away from traditional 'round' numbers ($10, $25, etc.) to ask for more unusual looking amounts which increase the average amount donated, either by exploiting {{w|Psychological pricing|such effects}} as the "99 cent" phenomenon or giving those that ask an appearance of 'knowing what they're talking about' to give the potential donor the impression that they're good with details and wouldn't be overwhelmed by the pressures of being in office.

However, it would be unusual to use quite such a precise amount told them, which may actually appear cynical in its attempt to bleed the donor to a maximal amount, and put many off donating altogether. This is rather than at least the pretense to be coming directly from a more optimal and restrained need/capability calculation. The email then compounds this by stating outright that this is what they have done, and entirely sheds any of the veil of it not being calculated ''simply'' to manipulate the recipient (even/especially if it had not been recalculated to differing odd values for each recipient), plus explicitly suggest that someone other than the message author did this so no longer conveys much of any innate confidence and trustworthiness one might have had in the sender themself.
|-
|'''Help.''' Our campaign made some mistakes and we need a lot of money ASAP. Any kind, but cash is…
|This email is honest about the campaign's incompetence, but is not likely to get much sympathy, except perhaps from those already very sympathetic to the candidate. Any campaign reduced to this level has probably already lost. The email appears to be suggesting that they would much prefer that donors send cash, presumably in the mail. This would raise several red flags: it might suggest that the campaign's finances are in such disarray that it cannot process checks, credit cards, etc. in a timely manner, or it might be that they want to keep donations off the books so that they can be diverted elsewhere, or to circumvent electoral spending restrictions. Even if no dishonesty is intended, it would increase the chances that cash could be stolen or otherwise misused more readily than other forms of payment.
|-
|'''Washington is broken.''' When I win, I'll look those other senators in the eye and tell them: "Jobs." Then I…
|This email, apparently from a candidate for the US Senate, takes a common populist approach of repeating particular phrases to imply that they will stand up for the interests of the common people against a system that is rigged against them, without giving any meaningful indication of what they intend to achieve. Not only is the mere statement of "jobs", without any kind of explanation of what problems they believe there are, or what they suggest doing about it, entirely unhelpful, they also seem to suggest that, despite them being elected, it would be everybody else's responsibility to solve it.
|-
|'''Hopeless.''' It's bad. Really bad. If you don't chip in now, the darkness spreading across the land will…
|This is a favorite of moral campaigns, on both sides of a debate. Grand statements about evil and corruption taking over the country if the campaign does not get enough support are common, but they are (hopefully!) extremely biased and dramatic. The wording in this case is also somewhat archaic and melodramatic, making it sound like something from a fantasy novel.
This might also refer to [[1391: Darkness]], where everyone forgets about the day and night cycle, and reporters are reporting on the darkness that has spread as far west as Texas.
|-
|As the first woman to fly a fighter jet through our state's formerly all-male university, I learned…
|Candidates often like to portray themselves as trailblazers for a particular community, who have persevered and achieved despite the odds. Normally, one would make a virtue of being the first ''from'' a university to do something, rather than the first to achieve something involving the university itself. Flying a plane through a university is risky, at the very least,{{Citation needed}} and depending on the definition of "through", could imply destruction of buildings or the plane itself, which might paint the candidate in an irresponsible light. The implication of "formerly all-male university" may be that the university was changed from being all-male in response to this candidate wrecking it with a fighter jet. This may also refer to the viral 2017 Congressional campaign ad of {{w|Amy McGrath}}, the first female Marine to fly an {{w|McDonnell Douglas F/A-18 Hornet|F-18}} in combat.
|-
|'''We're broke.''' No paid staff. No ads. And the cafe has told us to stop using their WiFi to send fundraising…
| This campaign tactic attempts to appeal to the reader's sympathy by describing financial struggles and poverty, but these tactics may instead make the movement look pathetic and poorly-organized, especially because the group is apparently so poor, they can't afford premises of their own to run the campaign from, or an internet connection to continue sending emails to ask for funding.
|-
|When Amy decided to run for Congress, I was like "Huh?" but I checked Wikipedia, and apparently it's a branch of…
|The first few words here might suggest the writer is about to explain how, having initially been skeptical, Amy's inspirational message and/or character has won them over to her campaign. This kind of message is used to make a candidate seem relatable and credible. In fact, though, they just didn't know what she was talking about, as they didn't know what Congress was. Since they clearly don't know much about the subject, this would fail to lend the weight it is aiming to.

Furthermore, while a familiar tone could also be part of a communication strategy to make the message seem relatable, this takes it to an extreme that would probably come across as unprofessional and lacking in seriousness.
|-
|'''Are you familiar''' with the Dutch painter Hieronymus Bosch? His work illustrates my opponent's plan for…
|The works of {{w|Hieronymus Bosch}} are famous for depictions of {{w|Hell}} and {{w|Limbo}} as brutal places of highly imaginative torments, which the sender implies would be similar to the country under their opponent's plan. This mocks the tendency of political campaigns to present an exaggerated view of how bad things would be if their political rivals were elected.
|-
|Being a single mom running a small business while going to law school while being deployed to Iraq taught me…
|Each of these are typical credentials that a candidate might cite in order to imply that they are hardworking and committed. However, it is extremely unlikely that one person would take on all of these responsibilities at the same time, and attempting to do so might suggest that they lack focus and aren't really that committed to any one thing. Also, it would be very difficult for someone to do all of these things simultaneously (e.g. running a small business while deployed in Iraq), so the person might come across as lying in order to impress people.
|-
|'''I will lead the fight''' against the big banks, special interests, the Earth's climate, and our children. I…
|This is another populist message listing off hot button topics. However, after starting out with some typical promises to fight fairly commonly despised things, it then becomes more controversial. It promises to fight the climate, with the peculiar implication that damaging the climate is the goal, and 'our children', which most voters would think would need protecting. This may be suggesting that politicians using these kind of messages are likely to be hiding bad intentions behind their attractive sounding slogans (or they may be just trying and failing to write a populist message without fully understanding it). The fight "against our children" may be a reference to a popular {{w|Bushism}}.
|-
|'''Wow.''' Have you seen this video of the squirrel obstacle course? Incredible! Anyway, I'm running because I…
|A typical form of {{w|clickbait}}. (Don't read another table entry until you've followed that link! Reference #10 will shock you). It is not a reference to [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hFZFjoX2cGg the Mark Rober squirrel obstacle course], a video that was released two years after this comic came out, but it may reference [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nWU0bfo-bSY this now-private video].
|-
|'''Outrageous.''' Granted, this was a few years ago, but did you hear what President Ford said about…
|When a politician makes an offensive comment, it's common for the politician's opponents to send out fundraising emails pointing out the politician's offensiveness as a way of generating donations to the fight against them. Political strategists will often keep dossiers of such remarks to be used when needed in campaigning season. More recently, there has been a trend for trawling opponents' social media accounts for controversial comments they may have made several years previously, or even as a youth. Here, the sender's reaction and e-mail fundraising effort appears to be unusually delayed, as it refers to an alleged comment by {{w|Gerald Ford}} (potentially a reference to his infamous gaffe that there was "no Soviet domination in Eastern Europe"), whose term as President of the United States ended in 1977 and who died in 2006.
|-
|'''Whoops.''' Due to a typo, we spent months running attack ads against Tom Hanks. Now, we need to make up for…
|The email apologizes for running months of attack ads against American actor {{w|Tom Hanks}}. Hanks is generally a popular and uncontroversial figure with [http://archive.boston.com/ae/celebrity/articles/2008/01/06/nice_guy_tom_hanks/ a reputation] for being [https://www.ranker.com/list/tom-hanks-was-the-best/lisa-waugh nice and likable in person], making him an unusual target for attack ads. This implies that the sender does not even know who their opponent is, and has mistakenly targeted the wrong person, demonstrating some significant ignorance and incompetence.
|-
|'''They say we can't win—'''that we're "underdogs" with "no money" who "lost the election last week." But they don't…
|In multi-candidacy electoral races, campaigns will often suggest that a rival 'can't win here', sometimes prefaced with an appeal to authority, such as 'Polls show...'. The hope is that some supporters of the candidate being attacked may be persuaded to switch their vote to the candidate whose campaign it is, in an effort to prevent a third, more disliked, candidate from being elected. Here, the approach seems to be a campaign mocking the opposition's statements about themselves, defiantly exhibiting the negative feedback against them before leading into some point to prove the arguments wrong. However, the complaints being mocked seem like serious flaws in the campaign, and indeed, it seems to confess that they ''already lost'', and thus have no purpose for a campaign anymore. Any campaign continuing to email supporters after losing is clearly in deep denial, especially if it thinks the negative press about it is unjustified.

This may refer to {{w|Roy Moore#U.S. Senate special election campaign|Roy Moore's attempts}} to overturn his loss in the December 2017 election for one of Alabama's US Senate seats, which came about a month before this comic and made national headlines. After the initial election count had him losing, he demanded a recount. That initial count said he had lost by a large enough margin that Alabama law required him to pay up front for a recount, and his campaign did not have enough funds available.
|-
|'''Our campaign's only chance''' is to seduce Jennifer ActBlue, heir to the ActBlue fortune. For that, we need a fancy…
|This e-mail alludes to [https://secure.actblue.com/ ActBlue], a political action committee that provides technology to help Democrat and progressive organizations to campaign and collect donations online. In reality, there is no ActBlue family, nor any "Jennifer ActBlue" who is the heir to its fortune; the name ActBlue is a portmanteau from the words "action", in a political sense, and the color "blue", which is {{w|Red states and blue states|closely associated}} with the Democratic Party in the USA. Even if Jennifer ActBlue was a real heiress, a candidate whose only hope to win revolved around seducing a wealthy woman would be facing serious problems.
|-
|'''Doom.''' Where is the horse and the rider? Where is the horn that was blowing? They have passed, like rain on…
|This is an excerpt from {{w|J. R. R. Tolkien|Tolkien's}} poem ''[http://tolkiengateway.net/wiki/Lament_for_the_Rohirrim Lament of the Rohirrim,]'' appearing in ''{{w|The Two Towers}}'': 
Where now the horse and the rider? Where is the horn that was blowing? 
Where is the helm and the hauberk, and the bright hair flowing? 
Where is the hand on the harpstring, and the red fire glowing? 
Where is the spring and the harvest and the tall corn growing? 
They have passed like rain on the mountain, like a wind in the meadow; 
The days have gone down in the West behind the hills into shadow. 
Who shall gather the smoke of the dead wood burning, 
Or behold the flowing years from the Sea returning?
|-
|'''Warmest greetings.''' I am the crown prince of Nigeria. I am running for Congress because I believe that…
|The opening line is designed to sound like spam for an {{W | Advance-fee scam}}. These scams typically involve impersonating someone rich, often a Nigerian prince, who claims to be in trouble and promises to share a large sum of money if the victim helps him by sending a small fee in advance. However, the second sentence of this email switches to sounding like a political fundraising email instead of an outright scam. This is either to establish a degrading comparison between flagrant scams and fundraising emails, or just to create a bait-and-switch joke. Another possibility is that the email sounds like it is a scam because it is a scam.
Note that a Nigerian crown prince could probably not run for Congress without renouncing his title. Congressional candidates must be citizens of the United States, and gaining US citizenship requires one to "renounce and abjure all allegiance and fidelity to any foreign prince, potentate, state, or sovereignty, of whom or which [they] have heretofore been a subject or citizen".[https://www.ecfr.gov/current/title-8 (citation)] It is unclear how one could renounce allegiance to a state which they expect to rule.
|-
|The establishment doesn't take us seriously. You know who else they didn't take seriously? Hitler. I'll be like him, but a GOOD guy instead of… (title text)
|A candidate who {{tvtropes|HitlerAteSugar|compares}} himself to {{w|Hitler}}, even when promising to be GOOD instead, will probably not get many votes. The title text does however conform to {{w|Godwin's law}}.
|}

==Transcript==
:[An e-mail inbox window is displayed. On each line appears an illegible e-mail address and a checkbox.]
:'''Donate now.''' It's crunch time, and we're low on cash. If you chip in just $5 by midnight, we…
:'''Donate $35.57 now!''' Our data team has determined that we should ask you for $35.57 to optimize the…
:'''Help.''' Our campaign made some mistakes and we need a '''lot''' of money ASAP. Any kind, but cash is…
:'''Washington is broken.''' When I win, I'll look those other senators in the eye and tell them: "Jobs." Then I…
:'''Hopeless.''' It's bad. Really bad. If you don't chip in now, the darkness spreading across the land will…
:As the first woman to fly a fighter jet through our state's formerly all-male university, I learned… 
:'''We're broke.''' No paid staff. No ads. And the cafe has told us to stop using their wifi to send fundraising…
:When Amy decided to run for Congress, I was like "Huh?" but I checked Wikipedia, and apparently it's a branch of…
:'''Are you familiar''' with the Dutch painter Hieronymous Bosch? His work illustrates my opponent's plan for…
:Being a single mom running a small business while going to law school while being deployed to Iraq taught me…
:'''I will lead the fight''' against the big banks, special interests, the Earth's climate, and our children. I…
:'''Wow.''' Have you seen this video of the squirrel obstacle course? Incredible! Anyway, I'm running because I…
:'''Outrageous.''' Granted, this was a few years ago, but did you hear what President Ford said about…
:'''Whoops.''' Due to a typo, we spent months running attack ads against Tom Hanks. Now, we need to make up for…
:'''They say we can't win—'''that we're "underdogs" with "no money" who "lost the election last week." But they don't…
:'''Our campaign's only chance''' is to seduce Jennifer ActBlue, heir to the ActBlue fortune. For that, we need a fancy…
:'''Doom.''' Where is the horse and the rider? Where is the horn that was blowing? They have passed, like rain on…
:'''Warmest greetings.''' I am the crown prince of Nigeria. I am running for Congress because I believe that…

{{comic discussion}}

[[Category:Politics]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Adolf Hitler]]
[[Category:Comics featuring politicians]]

1360: Old Files

2024-09-28T20:35:34Z

Whoop whoop pull up: /* Files and Folders */

{{comic
| number = 1360
| date = April 25, 2014
| title = Old Files
| image = old_files.png
| titletext = Wow, ANIMORPHS-NOVEL.RTF? Just gonna, uh, go through and delete that from all my archives real quick.
}}

==Explanation==
This comic came out the day after [http://news.sky.com/story/1248397/andy-warhol-originals-found-on-floppy-disk Sky News published the story] of original {{w|Andy Warhol}} artwork, created in 1985 on an {{w|Amiga 1000}}, which was recovered from recently found floppy disks.

[[Cueball]] is shown literally digging through a pile of old files; which is a metaphor for looking through old files on his computer. The layers of the pile are arranged much like geological rock formations where older strata are deeper down than younger layers. The files are in concentric layers because each directory is embedded in the previous directory. Therefore, the "Documents" folder contains an "Old Desktop" folder, which contains a folder with files recovered from an older system, which itself contains a "My Documents" folder, which contains a folder with files copied from a {{w|Zip Disk}} from high school. The result is that files from high school have survived in his present-day machine. These older folders serve as a time capsule of sorts, storing old files from {{w|AOL}}, NYET, and {{w|Kazaa}}. These files are meant to be analogous to the fossils and artifacts found in lower, older rock layers.

The sizes of the files decrease as Cueball goes deeper, since data storage has gotten cheaper over time. When the Zip Drive first came out, it cost $200 USD (plus $20 per 100 MB floppy). As of 2019, $200 could buy you at least an 8 TB portable external hard drive. In the 1990s, during AOL's heyday, 10+ GB hard drives were prohibitively expensive and a terabyte of data was unimaginable to most users.

Deep down, Cueball discovers several files he is surprised about, including a poetry file which embarrasses him as he does not remember writing poetry.

In the title text, he mentions also finding an "{{w|Animorphs}} Novel", which may be a text copy of one of the original books or a fan fiction of the ''Animorphs'' series (his reaction of quickly eradicating it may either be to prevent him being caught with a presumably-illegal copy of an Animorphs book or as a result of embarrassment at his fan fiction - the former is less likely than the latter considering some of the other files mentioned, so it is most likely a fan fiction). The series was released between 1996 and 2001, consistent with the fact that these files were created during Cueball/[[Randall|Randall's]] high school years. The series was extremely popular at the time. Animorphs has already been mentioned in the title text of [[1187: Aspect Ratio]], and later it was the main joke in [[1380: Manual for Civilization]] and [[1817: Incognito Mode]].

===Files and Folders===
The folders and files in detail:

'''Documents''' (47 GB): A large folder containing many of [[Cueball]]'s personal files.
*''misc.txt'': A miscellaneous {{w|text file}}, which could contain anything; possibly just various notes that Cueball is keeping.

*''Video projects'': As video files can take up a lot of space and video projects tend to use a lot of them, this likely makes up a considerable portion of the 47 GB.

'''Old desktop''' (12 GB): A backup from a former computer.
*''{{w|Facebook}} pics'': Pictures that were intended to be added to Facebook (and/or ones which were downloaded *from* Facebook).
*''Pics from other camera'': Unknown pictures from a second camera.
*''Temp'': Temporary folders generally contain cached files and files that are used temporarily to install programs. A folder named "Temp" might also be created by a user to store unimportant text or image files, not intending or caring to give it a more meaningful or specifically explanatory name.
*''Misc {{w|Portable Document Format|PDF}}s'': PDFs are often used for documentation, but could be any collection of digitized books or other documents.
*''{{w|MP3}}'': MP3 is a widely used format for digital audio files.

'''Recovered from drive crash''' (4 GB): When a {{w|Hard disk drive|hard drive}} crashes, some or all data may be recovered.
*''Temp'': Temporary files.
*''Work misc'': Unknown work related projects.
*''{{w|Audiobook|Audio books}}'': Recordings of books being read out loud.

'''My Documents''' (570 MB): {{w|Windows XP}} user accounts came with a "My Documents" folder that was widely used for storing personal files. The items in this archive came from the era when {{w|Windows XP}} was popular.
*''Downloads'': The default download folder for most browsers of the time.
*''{{w|Kazaa}} shared'': Kazaa is a defunct peer-to-peer file sharing program. The "shared" folder is shared with other members.
*''AYB'': {{w|All your base are belong to us|ALL YOUR BASE are belong to us}} is an internet {{w|Meme|meme}} inspired by a bad translation from ''{{w|Zero Wing}}''. Also referenced in [[286: All Your Base]].
*''{{w|Escape Velocity Override|EV Override}}'': An {{w|Apple Macintosh}} video game, released in 1998.
*''[http://rephial.org/ Angband]'': A game named after a fictional stronghold created by {{w|J. R. R. Tolkien}}.
*''{{w|GIF}}s'': An image format widely used for transparent or animated images.
*''{{w|Fight Club}}.wmv'': A movie. As feature movies are typically compressed to 700 megabytes, and this folder only contains 570 MB ''in its entirety'', including 94 MB explicitly in a further sub-folder, this one file must be significantly smaller. It could be of very low quality (e.g. resolution and/or frame-rate), truncated (after a prior failed copy) or even a fake download designed to [https://www.2-spyware.com/fake-codecs-that-drop-widely-spread-malware fool unwary recipients].
*''{{w|Elasto Mania}}'': A physics-simulation game that claims to show real physics.
*''{{w|AOL Instant Messenger|AIM}} Direct Connect files'': Files transferred via AOL Instant Messenger.
*''{{w|4chan}}'': An image-board where users can upload pictures anonymously. Randall impulsively saves pictures from there. This entry is something of an anomaly, the rest of the files at this level were most notable around 1998 to 2001 while 4chan was only launched at the end of 2003. Since this board frequently contains images you wouldn't want to be caught looking at, this folder may be buried to hide it.
*''{{w|ICQ}} logs'': Logs from an instant messaging program introduced in 1996 and no longer commonly used in North America.

'''High school {{w|Zip drive|Zip disk}}''' (94 MB): The most popular form of {{w|superfloppy}}, introduced in 1994 with a capacity of 100 MB.
*''{{w|Korn}} MIDI'': Korn is an American {{w|nu metal}} band formed in 1993. {{w|MIDI}} is a protocol for communication with electronic musical instruments. The result tends to be sounds of low quality (but it heavily depends on how MIDI is played).
*''Photos3'': This is a folder of old photos.
**''{{w|Prom}}'': Pictures taken at prom.
*''lovenote.txt'': An old text file of a {{w|love letter}}, probably to a classmate in high school. Possibly referencing [[340: Fight]].
*''{{w|Gorillas (video game)|Gorillas}}.bas'': A game written in {{w|BASIC}}, to be run on {{w|QBasic}}, and supplied with MS-DOS.
*''Dream.txt'': Some private dreams. Possibly a reference to [[269|269: TCMP]].
*''James.txt'': This may be [[James Zetlen]], one of [[:Category:Friends of Randall|Randall's friends]].
*''{{w|AOL}}'': An early online and internet service, founded in 1985 and popular in the 1990s.
**''{{w|Citadel (software)|Citadel}}'' - A {{w|BBS}} and email platform that was widely used in the 1980s and early '90s.
*''{{w|QBasic}}'': An {{w|Integrated development environment|IDE}} released by {{w|Microsoft}} in 1991, which was used to write and run computer programs in the BASIC language.
*''NYET'': ''NYET'' was a {{w|Tetris}}-like game for MS-DOS, released in 1988.
*''Jokes.txt'': An old text file of jokes.

'''AAAFILES''' (9.4 MB): Some of [[Cueball]]'s oldest documents, likely prefixed with "AAA" to put the folder at the top of an alphabetically-sorted list.

'''TXT''' (850 K): Old text files, which include poetry he didn't remember writing.

==Transcript==
[Cross-sectional view of what look vaguely like stratigraphic layers underground. A crevice leads down through these concentric layers to a cave-like cavity in the middle, where Cueball is going through the deepest, most central, and incidentally smallest of the files. Above, Megan stands at "ground level", looking down into the crevice.]

:Megan: You OK down there?

:'''Documents''' (47 GB)
::misc.txt
::Video projects
:'''Old desktop''' (12 GB)
::Facebook pics
::Pics from other camera
::Temp
::Misc PDFs
::MP3
:'''Recovered from drive crash''' (4 GB)
::Temp
::Work misc
::Audio books
:'''My Documents''' (570 MB)
::Downloads
::Kazaa shared
::AYB
::EV Override
::Angband
::GIFs
::FIGHT CLUB.wmv
::Elasto Mania
::AIM Direct Connect files
::4chan
::ICQ logs
:'''High school Zip disk''' (94 MB)
::Korn MIDI
::Photos3 (Prom)
::lovenote.txt
::Gorilla.bas
::Dream.txt
::James.txt
::AOL (Citadel)
::QBasic
::NYET
::Jokes.txt
:'''AAAFILES''' (9.4 MB)
:'''TXT''' (850 K)
:Cueball (deep inside the AAAFILES section looking at his txt files): Oh my god. I wrote '''poetry'''.

{{comic discussion}}
[[Category:Comics featuring Cueball]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Megan]]
[[Category:Animorphs]]
[[Category:Comics featuring James Zetlen]]
[[Category:Fight Club]]

1718: Backups

2024-09-28T20:31:31Z

Whoop whoop pull up: /* Explanation */

{{comic
| number = 1718
| date = August 10, 2016
| title = Backups
| image = backups.png
| titletext = Maybe you should keep FEWER backups; it sounds like throwing away everything you've done and starting from scratch might not be the worst idea.
}}

==Explanation==
On his laptop, [[Cueball]] explores a cyclic path along which his files are being copied from storage to storage. His laptop (presumably the one he is on) is sending its files to a server, which sends its files to ''another'' server, which in turn syncs back a certain selection of files to his laptop. Cueball determines that this setup leads to an exponential growth, implying that each node in the cycle simply copies files over to the next without any effort to avoid duplicates. Indeed, each time a set of files completes a full cycle, duplicates of the same files are propagated.

{{w|Moore's Law}} is an observation in computer engineering (made by engineer Gordon Moore in 1965) that states that the number of transistors we can fit in a chip will double approximately every two years. Cueball, who was rather alarmed, calms down when he realizes that the exponential growth of his backup is slower than that of Moore's Law. He reasons that as long as he keeps at the forefront of information storage, he will never run out of room. Assuming available disk capacity is proportional to number of transistors (this is roughly true for solid-state disks) or otherwise keeps pace with Moore's Law, this would imply it takes more than two years for his files to completely propagate through two servers and back to his laptop enough times to double in size (implying either an extremely slow transfer or an extremely weird backup system).

The phrase "[this is] why we can't have nice things" is often used in response to incidents where someone abuses a well-meaning feature, with the abuse ultimately wiping out any benefits the feature was supposed to bring. In the comic, the person off-screen is commenting on the fact that Cueball is not using advances in storage capacity in a responsible manner. That is, rather than using the increased capacity to store more useful information, he is simply using it as a workaround to avoid having to make his backup strategy more efficient.

This concept is further expanded upon in the title text when somebody, presumably the off-screen speaker, notes that Cueball may be better off taking fewer backups in the hopes of losing some data. Typically backups are taken in the hopes of not losing programs and data. However, if the inefficient backup solution presented is representative of the other things Cueball has created, it may be better to have it all be lost and in effect force it to be re-created in a hopefully superior way.

There are some similarities to the Cueball who owns the computer in the [[1700: New Bug]] and maybe also to the Code Quality series: [[1513: Code Quality]] and [[1695: Code Quality 2]], where Cueball speaks with [[Ponytail]].

Poor backup strategies are referenced in [[1360: Old Files]].

==Transcript==
:[Cueball] is sitting in an office chair at his desk, working on his laptop.]
:Cueball: Wait. My laptop is backing up some folders to this server...

:[Cueball scratches his chin in thought.]
:Cueball: ...Which is backing up its archives to ''that'' server...
:Cueball: ...And ''that'' server is syncing certain folders over to my laptop...

:[In a frame-less panel Cueball clicks on his laptop keyboard.]
:Click click click

:[Cueball is back to working normally on his laptop. A voice speaks to him from off-panel as indicated with a starburst at the right frame.]
:Cueball: ...But the exponential growth is slightly slower than Moore's law, so whatever.
:Off-panel voice: Oh my God.
:Off-panel voice: You are why we can't have nice things.

{{comic discussion}}
[[Category:Comics featuring Cueball]]
[[Category:Computers]]

1863: Screenshots

2024-09-28T20:28:02Z

Whoop whoop pull up: /* Explanation */

{{comic
| number = 1863
| date = July 14, 2017
| title = Screenshots
| image = screenshots.png
| titletext = For the final exam, you take a screenshot showing off all the work you've done in the class, and it has to survive being uploaded, thumbnailed, and re-screenshotted through a chain of social media sites.
}}

==Explanation==
The comic shows a syllabus of an introductory course on {{w|Screenshot|screenshots}}. Screenshots have become a common way of spreading and sharing content on social media like Tumblr and Twitter, particularly excerpts of text such as seen in the cartoon. This in turn has developed into a common language with unwritten rules; the comic imagines a world where such rules have become codified into best practices, able to be taught in classes.

The image on the left shows an image of screenshots of text, along with what seems like annotations describing various ratios and dos and don'ts about making such screenshots. The right side shows the main points of the course, touching on topics that are relevant for making and publishing screenshots. Some of these guidelines are violated on a regular basis by people sharing screenshots on the internet, leading to impaired readability and the degradation of digital quality (see [[1683: Digital Data]]).

The punchline of the comic describes a high attendance in the course (presumably many people are interested in how to take high-quality screenshots); however, the digital textbook only sold one copy, implying that the only attendee that bought the book was adept enough to distribute screenshots of the textbook content to the others, because of the information gathered from the class itself. In essence, the writer of the textbook has taught their students how to pirate their material, effectively putting themselves out of a job. There isn't anything that the author can do to prevent this due to the {{w|Analog hole|analog hole}}, which states that if non-interactive media can be visually seen by humans, it can be copied, as with a screenshot.

Detailed explanation of the headings on the right:

;Highlighting: What & How much?
:This refers to highlighting text of particular interest in screenshots, as depicted on the left.

;Aspect ratios
:Again, depicted on the left. If a screenshot is too wide, it might be difficult to read, and/or it will not fit into thumbnails and social networking feeds. This leads to the screenshot being scaled down too much to be readable (see bottom left). An {{w|aspect ratio}} that is too tall would have similar effects, so in general it is better to stick to near-square aspect ratios (see bottom right of the left section). Some users change the aspect ratio when scaling with a very ugly result (see e.g. [[1187: Aspect Ratio]]).

;Cropping: Pre- and Post-
:This refers to {{w|cropping}} the image, that is, cutting away the irrelevant or unnecessary parts, leaving just the content one needs to communicate. Pre- and Post- refers to when the cropping is done, either before the screenshot (i.e. framing the shot) or cropping the screenshot after it has been taken (i.e. fine tuning it in a photo editing program).

;Whitespace
:This section presumably deals with {{w|White space (visual arts)|whitespace}}. This generally refers to the space around the content of interest, which is often but not always white. In the main image on the left side of this comic, most of the red marks are arrows indicating the white space of that image. In this case the "whitespace" at the top and bottom are indeed not white, but rather filled with text not relevant to the screenshot. Removing all whitespace makes an image more efficient and helps provide focus on the important part of a screenshot, but too little whitespace can be less comfortable to read or look at, and therefore appear as a more amateurish result. This section of the course would likely discuss this balance.

;Screenshots vs Links
:For the most part it is recommended that one links to the original content, rather than publishing a screenshot of said content. In some situations it is advisable to opt for using screenshots, such as if the content in question has been removed from the original source, and one still wants to communicate the fact that it was published there. Additionally, a screenshot is easier to catch people's attention with, as it doesn't require them to take any actions to view.

;Catching the right GIF frame
:A {{w|GIF}} is a bitmap image format that was developed in 1987 by CompuServe and has since come into widespread usage on the World Wide Web due to its wide support and portability. The format supports animations and is often used for short looping animations on the internet. They often employ a low {{w|frame rate}}, so that one might notice a funny or interesting frame during playback. The naïve approach is to press the 'Print Screen' button with careful timing, but in this manner it can be very challenging to capture the desired frame of any GIF that plays at a speed of greater than 5 frames per second. Presumably, the course introduces its students to special tools to get the job done, such as [https://ezgif.com/speed the EZgif website] or the [http://www.xtreme-lab.net/7gif/en/index.html downloadable 7GIF app].

;Snapchat and trust
:{{w|Snapchat}} is a popular social networking application for mobile devices primarily used for sharing images and short videos. One of the main selling points is the transience of content posted. The idea is that as soon as one opens an image or video, a timer starts, and once it has expired the content is no longer accessible on the device. This has led to people sending sensitive content to their friends, thinking that they wouldn't be able to cause much harm, as the content is non-permanent. An obvious flaw in this model is the capability of modern mobile devices to take screenshots (usually available from shortcut keys), and thus permanently save the images to the phone's memory. Saving embarrassing images of one's friends, that they themselves meant as a transient joke, is a serious breach of trust, hence the heading.

;Embarrassing background tabs
:A common error when publishing screenshots is not being careful, and leaving content visible that might be embarrassing. For instance, a {{w|browser tab}} open in the background might show content that is embarrassing or private information, such as a page about a sensitive disease one may have (e.g. {{w|AIDS}}) or {{w|pornography}}. It is easy to miss this when checking, which leads to situations such as [http://www.foxnews.com/politics/2017/06/10/lawmaker-mistakenly-hands-out-document-with-porn-references.html this one], where a politician handed out a document with background tabs to pornography websites.

;Spellcheck's red underlines
:{{w|Spell checkers}} are designed to notify the writer of a document of spelling and grammatical mistakes in the text. This is usually done through the editor marking text it thinks is incorrect with an underline (usually red, but other colors may indicate different kinds of mistakes). Sometimes these mistakes are not relevant to the writer, such as when editing {{w|source code}} or using a spellchecker that is set to another language. Even if the corrections are relevant, however, one would not want the ugly red underlines on a screenshot. This section presumably deals with this problem.

;Security: Beware of URL tokens
:{{w|Query string|URL tokens}} are pieces of code embedded in the {{w|URL}} of a website. If implemented well, these help identify a particular document or search query, and do not carry any sensitive security information. Insecure web-apps, however, may encode authentication information (such as {{w|Session_ID|session IDs}}, or even worse: usernames and passwords) in the URL, leading to a massive security risk on the part of someone whose screen might be visible to others. Screenshots allow anyone to easily read off these parameters, and possibly successfully impersonate the creator of the screenshot on a website. This is especially hard to notice to less technically inclined users, who might not know that, say, a session ID (a seemingly random jumble of characters), might be used to impersonate them.

;Redacting personal info
:Somewhat related to the previous point: Screenshots might include personal information, such as indications of institutions one might work for, e-mail addresses, and the like, that one might not want to share with the world. This section presumably deals with ways of obscuring such information on screenshots.

;Useful browser modes
:Using the {{w|Privacy mode|private browsing mode}} offered by most browsers helps with the previous point of keeping your personal information out of the screenshots because websites see you as logged out. Another helpful mode is the full screen browsing mode (usually F11) that will maximize the content to cover the whole screen, keeping the browser UI out of the screenshots. This also helps with privacy, as it will keep the bookmarks on your browser toolbar from being visible, as well as your username if you're logged in Chrome, without having to crop the screenshots manually. Counterpointing with the final bullet on spotting fakes, the Inspect Element browser mode allows you to live-edit the HTML source of the webpage, allowing you to create more convincing fakes if that is your goal.

;Tradeoffs: PNG vs JPG
:{{w|Portable Network Graphics|PNG}} and {{w|JPG}} are file formats with different {{w|image compression|image compression algorithms}}. JPG is widely used for encoding photographs, as it compresses real-world images to a fraction of their normal size without losing much quality. On artificial images with lots of sharp changes in contrast (such as text), however, JPG produces visible {{w|compression artifacts}} due to its {{w|lossy compression}}. For these, PNG is usually used, as it compresses large blocks of a single color, and repeating patterns efficiently, and due to it having a lossless option is able to encode text without artifacts, improving readability. PNG is usually superior for screenshots, as these are artificial images, but if the screenshot is of an actual photo (or a frame of a GIF or movie), JPG might yield lower file sizes at comparable quality. This tradeoff is presumably discussed under the heading.
:JPG images also have an attached {{w|EXIF}} data file, not present in PNG images, which may contain information about the device that the screenshot was taken on (especially "with", e.g. a camera) and thus be a potential privacy risk in some cases. However, EXIF metadata is not used with JPEG 2000. However, PNG can contain a transparency layer, allowing the object in the image to exist without a background.

;Watermark ethics
:Many users and websites add {{w|watermarks}} to their original content (or even worse: their screenshots) to indicate where it came from. As depicted in [[1683: Digital Data]] this can lead to degradation of quality as watermarks are stacked on top of each other. It is generally considered okay to put a single unobtrusive watermark on one's own original work; anything other than that would be considered unethical.

;Spotting fakes
:It is relatively easy to fake a screenshot in an image editing program such as {{w|GIMP}} or just editing the page source, making it seem like another organization or person is the original source of the content, possibly damaging their reputation. Some of these techniques are easily detectable by looking at the image's {{w|metadata}} or correlating the contents of the screenshot with other sources.

The title text once again refers to the continual re-screenshotting of data as seen in [[1683: Digital Data]], where the final examination consists of the students taking a screenshot good enough that it is still recognizable (and hopefully readable) after being re-compressed, re-screenshot and re-uploaded to various social networking sites, deteriorating its quality. This is quite a difficult task, considering the student only has control over the first screenshot, and subsequent screenshots could degrade the quality to any level. Hopefully the professor is aware of this and plans to perform the test under controlled conditions, as well as grade on a curve.

Screenshots were previously explored by Randall in [[1373: Screenshot]], [[1683: Digital Data]] and [[1815: Flag]]. This comic is one of a small set of comics with the same or almost the same title as another comic (with only the plural form of the word screenshot being the difference).

==Transcript==
:<big>Intro to Screenshots</big>

:[The left side of the panel shows three images. The largest image is a screenshot of text with the middle section highlighted and margins and top and bottom rows marked with red lines and arrows. The two smaller images below are cropped versions of the screenshot in the first image: the left image has an incorrect "squashed" aspect ratio and a red X on it, while the right image has a correct aspect ratio and a green check mark.]

:[The right side of the panel:]

::Syllabus
:*Highlighting: What & how much
:*Aspect ratios
:*Cropping: Pre- and post-
:*Whitespace
:*Screenshots vs links
:*Catching the right GIF frame
:*Snapchat and trust
:*Embarrassing background tabs
:*Spellcheck's red outlines
:*Security: Beware URL tokens
:*Redacting personal info
:*Useful browser modes
:*Tradeoffs: PNG vs JPG
:*Watermark ethics
:*Spotting fakes

:[Caption below the panel:]
:My class on screenshots was a big hit, although for some reason I only ever sold one copy of the digital textbook.

{{comic discussion}}

[[Category:Comics sharing name|Screenshot02]]
[[Category:Comics with color]]
[[Category:Computers]]