explain xkcd - User contributions [en]

120: Dating Service

2022-05-04T01:00:52Z

Whymsie: Undo revision 233501 by X. K. C. D. (talk)

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{{comic
| number = 120
| date = June 26, 2006
| title = Dating Service
| image = dating service.png
| titletext = I don't understand why people are so disingenuous! I just want someone to walk with!
}}

==Explanation==
Enjoying "long walks on the beach" is a romantic activity stereotypically associated with dating; specifically, it is commonly listed as an interest in dating advertisements and, more recently, online dating profiles. It is among other romantic clichés like "candle-lit dinners" and may, in fact, simply indicate that the person enjoys romantic gestures and activities in general. It is likely that many people who list this in their profiles have never, in fact, taken a walk on a beach or may not live near enough to a beach for it to be a viable suggestion for a date.

In this comic, [[Randall]] lists "long walks on the beach" as an interest on a dating profile. However, while a romantic walk might last for half an hour or an hour before, presumably, moving on towards another activity, Randall suggests he likes walks that last several hours or even overnight, suggesting potential mates bring a tent to camp out in.

The title text suggests that those who say they like long walks on the beach are being disingenuous, or not forthcoming. He just wants someone who wants what he does; to walk an indefinite, indeterminate distance well beyond the comfort and expectations of everyone else.

==Transcript==
:[A computer monitor displays the profile of a man named Randall on an online dating site. His profile contains a picture of a spiky-haired man and some text, which is rendered as dialogue in the panels.]
:Randall: Hi, my name is Randall. I like candlelight dinners and long walks on the beach.
:Randall: When I say long walks on the beach, I mean LONG walks on the beach. I've met people through these services who CLAIM to like long walks on the beach. But we'll be out there barely an hour before they start in with "I'm tired" and "Don't you think it's time we head back?" BRING A TENT.

==Trivia==
*This was also used in the "about the author" bio of Randall's book Thing Explainer, however, there the picture was of a [[Cueball]] and not a [[Hairy]] as shown here.

{{comic discussion}}
[[Category:Romance]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Randall Munroe]]

119: Worst Band Name Ever

2022-05-04T01:00:28Z

Whymsie: Undo revision 234549 by X. K. C. D. (talk)

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{{comic
| number = 119
| date = June 23, 2006
| title = Worst Band Name Ever
| image = hedgeclipper.jpg
| titletext = You can just see his dejection as he realizes he's the lead guitar in 'Hedgeclipper'
}}
==Explanation==
A [[wikipedia:Hedge_trimmer|hedge clipper]] or {{w|hedge trimmer}} is a gardening tool for trimming hedges or bushes. The implication is that motor driven hedge trimmers produce a bad, loud sound; maybe the sound of the band is even worse.

The title text suggests that they (or at least the lead guitarist) previously did not know their band's name. As he bemoans his apparent inability to choose a good band name, he probably sees the name 'Hedgeclipper' as the reason why the band has no audience.

==Transcript==
:It's probably a good thing that I never get to pick band names.
:[A stage with banner overhead reading: OPENING TONIGHT! HEDGECLIPPER]
:[On the stage are three guys with a bass, guitar, drum kit, and strange haircuts. On the kick drum is a picture of a hedge clipper.]
:Lead Guitarist: Maaan...

{{comic discussion}}
[[Category:Music]]

118: 50 Ways

2022-05-04T01:00:04Z

Whymsie: Undo revision 232806 by X. K. C. D. (talk)

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{{comic
| number = 118
| date = June 21, 2006
| title = 50 Ways
| image = 50_ways.png
| titletext = I woke up to find that I had scrawled the last line of this sleepily on a sheet of paper on my desk. I shouldn't have listened to the 70's hit marathon on the way home from work the night before.
}}

==Explanation==
The comic provides alternate lyrics to the chorus of the 1975 song "{{w|50 Ways to Leave Your Lover}}" ([https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ABXtWqmArUU Video]) by American artist {{w|Paul Simon}}. Both the original and alternate lyrics provide a textual hook because the name at the end of the line is rhymed with the word before it (back/Jack, plan/Stan, go/Joe).

[[Randall]], we learn from the title text, heard Simon's song during a '70s hit marathon, went to sleep, and while being sleepy replaced "lover" by "hover" while writing the last line of the song's chorus. Thus changing this line from ''to leave your lover'' into ''to learn to hover''. Clearly, this amused him so much that he decided to create a comic where people learn how to hover, rather than leave their lover.

==Transcript==
:[Two figures stand around a levitating person.]
:You gotta let go, Joe
:Just rise off your feet, Pete
:Just stay in the air, Claire
:Gotta levitate, Kate
:There must be 50 ways
:To learn to hover.

{{comic discussion}}
[[Category:Comics featuring Cueball]]
[[Category:Music]]
[[Category:Multiple Cueballs]]

117: Pong

2022-05-04T00:59:43Z

Whymsie: Undo revision 233639 by X. K. C. D. (talk)

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{{comic
| number = 117
| date = June 19, 2006
| title = Pong
| image = pong.png
| titletext = Following this, the pong paddle went on a mission to destroy Atari headquarters and, due to a mixup, found himself inside the game The Matrix Reloaded. Boy, was THAT ever hard to explain to him.
}}

== Explanation ==
This comic largely refers to the 1999 movie ''{{w|The Matrix}}'', which is about escaping a simulated reality. In the movie, a hacker called {{w|Neo (The Matrix)|Neo}} realizes that the world he lives in is fake, and that, like every other human, he is used as a slave battery by machines that, to keep them under control, make them feel like they're "living" in what is actually a computer-generated simulation of the world, called the "Matrix." Upon discovery, Neo rebels against this misuse of mankind and trains himself to interact with the computers that run the world until, being "the One" mentioned by a prophecy, he is able to control and use them to his own advantage. He takes part in a series of missions against those machines that wanted to keep the humans trapped in a simulated environment.

In {{w|Pong}}, one of the earliest video games, one can play virtual table tennis against the computer. A ball (the tiny block) is "hit" by a paddle (the long block) and crosses over the screen, to be "hit" again by the other paddle. Failure to return the ball results in a point won by the opponent. The speed of the ball increases as the rally runs longer.

The two game programmers in the first frame apply Neo's story to the {{w|Artificial intelligence|AI}} bots they create to serve as computer players in their video games: What if one of them learns enough to become sentient and understands the environment the programmers trapped it in? The outcome is shown: The paddle bot, understanding the game and realizing it is "the One," takes control of the code of Pong to make the ball stop and drop. The same thing happens in the movie, where Neo, by "seeing through the code," is able to stop bullets fired at him, and simply let them drop on the floor.

This is also possibly, though not likely, a pun on the meaning of the term "the One," as the long thin paddle looks very similar to how a numeral "1" could be written in several fonts.

In the title text, we learn that after increasing in intelligence, the "paddle" went on to destroy the headquarters of {{w|Atari}}, the producer of Pong, which "trapped" the paddle into the game, much like Neo sought to destroy the machines to free the humans. In the process, the paddle ended up inside the game ''{{w|Enter the Matrix}}'' (a video game produced with ''{{w|The Matrix Reloaded}}'', a sequel to ''The Matrix''), also published by Atari. Since the whole premise of The Matrix is that everyone is trapped in virtual reality, the paddle now found itself in a virtual virtual reality or essentially a meta-virtual reality, which could be pretty hard to comprehend.

==Transcript==
:Cueball: So what do we do if video game AI opponents become smart enough to question the "Matrix" into which we've put them?
:Pong paddle: Wait a minute! None of this is real! I can see through the world! I can see the code! I AM THE ONE!
:[The pong ball is moving towards the paddle.]
:[The pong ball slows down.]
:[The pong ball stops in midair.]
:[The pong ball drops towards the bottom of the screen.]
{{comic discussion}}
[[Category:Comics featuring Cueball]]
[[Category:Comics with color]]
[[Category:Video games]]
[[Category:The Matrix]]
[[Category:Artificial Intelligence]]

116: City

2022-05-04T00:59:22Z

Whymsie: Undo revision 232674 by X. K. C. D. (talk)

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{{comic
| number = 116
| date = June 16, 2006
| title = City
| image = city.jpg
| titletext = God, she's such a whore.
}}

==Explanation==
The poem or description alternates between using words that start with C and words that start with S, to achieve an effect resembling {{w|alliteration}}. The gentle, romantic tone of the poem is broken by the last two words, Your Mom. This is an example of a {{w|maternal insult}} joke, and is phrased accordingly.

The title text further emphasizes this, implying that the mother in question is also promiscuous.

==Transcript==
:[A picture of various apartment buildings.]
:Shadowed city slumber silently. A second-story suite.
:Come craving courtship, selected serendipitously
:Crazed copulations, a salacious storm of continuous coitus.
:Spread, straddled, conquered.
:Countless crashed suitors strewn carelessly.
:Center, silken sheets sensuously caressing soft skin,
:Contentedly sleeps your mom.

{{comic discussion}}
[[Category:Language]]
[[Category:Your Mom]]

115: Meerkat

2022-05-04T00:58:56Z

Whymsie: Undo revision 232828 by X. K. C. D. (talk)

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{{comic
| number = 115
| date = June 14, 2006
| title = Meerkat
| image = meerkat.jpg
| titletext = Gorilla, yes. Adorable golden retriever, yes. But it says nothing about meerkats.
}}

==Explanation==
The situation is a reference to the {{tvtropes|AnimalAthleteLoophole|animal athlete loophole}} trope, where an animal joins an underdog <sup><nowiki>[</nowiki>[[559|No Pun Intended]]<nowiki>]</nowiki></sup> sports team and saves the day. The other team, which is previously dominant, and usually has an entitled and/or bullying attitude, does not like it, but since there is not a specific rule against it, it has to be allowed.

Randall's combination of animal ({{w|Meerkat}}) and sport ({{w|Rugby football|rugby}}) is particularly unlikely, since meerkats are relatively small, slight animals, whereas rugby is associated with big powerful players, and has not been used in an animal sports movie before{{Citation needed}}.

The title text implies that, as a result of similar instances of animal recruitment in the past, rule changes have been introduced to specifically exclude those animals from taking part, which may be why this team has had to work its way down to meerkats. The governing bodies could probably have avoided this by simply excluding non-human animals.

==Transcript==
:[A Meerkat wearing a helmet and blue jersey, and two guys in the background supposedly on a rugby field.]
:You have to admit--there's no rule on the books saying a Meerkat can't play rugby.

==Trivia==

A golden retriever is at the centre of the basketball film ''{{w|Air Bud}}''.

In the film ''{{w|Mr. Go (film)|Mr. Go}}'', a gorilla becomes a star of the Korean Baseball League.

This concept was revisited in [[1552: Rulebook]].

{{comic discussion}}
[[Category:Comics with color]]
[[Category:Sport]]
[[Category:Animals]]

113: Riemann-Zeta

2022-05-04T00:58:22Z

Whymsie: added de-crappifier

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{{comic
| number = 113
| date = June 9, 2006
| title = Riemann-Zeta
| image = riemann-zeta.jpg
| titletext = The graph is of the magnitude of the function with the real value between 0 and 2 and the imaginary between about 35 and 40. I've misplaced the exact parameters I used.
}}

==Explanation==
A {{w|prime number}} is any natural number with exactly two natural factors (1 and itself). The set of prime numbers is infinite, but they are somewhat elusive; there is no known way to find very large prime numbers except by trial and error. Some regularities in the primes have been found, but none that can fully predict their distribution.

The {{w|Riemann zeta function}}, errantly referred to as the Riemann-Zeta function in the comic, is a function that takes in {{w|complex numbers}} and returns complex numbers. It is defined for Re('s')>1 as <math>\zeta(s)=\sum_{n=1}^{\infty} \frac{1}{n^s}</math>. For the rest of its domain (all complex numbers except 1), it is defined with {{w|analytic continuation}}. Its magnitude can be graphed in 3D, producing the "rippled curtain" referenced and depicted in the comic. There is a particular relationship between the Riemann zeta function and prime numbers, which makes the function a viable target for those attempting to understand primes.

Here, [[Randall]] appears to be talking to his significant other, comparing her to prime numbers and himself to the Riemann zeta function. It is mathematically correct and quite poetic, until he mentions that his relationship differs from the comparison because "The Riemann-Zeta function couldn't have given you {{w|herpes}}." This implies that he has infected his lover with an incurable venereal disease. The comic effect of an abrupt change in tone like this is known as {{w|bathos}}.

As the title text indicates, the graph in the picture is of the magnitude of ζ(''s'') for some section of the complex plane. Randall has forgotten the exact imaginary bounds of the graph, but he knows that the real axis goes from 0 to 2 and the imaginary axis goes from about 35''i'' to about 40''i''.

==Transcript==
:[A z = fn(x, y) plot, with pointy spikes on the back sloping to a relatively flat front.]

:You are like the prime numbers
:Unpredictable turns, unconstrainable
:Tantalizingly regular but never quite the same

:I am like the Riemann-Zeta function
:A rippled curtain of the imagined and real
:Deeply tied with you in ways incomprehensible

:Although, strictly speaking, The Riemann-Zeta function couldn't have given you herpes

{{comic discussion}}
[[Category:Analysis]]
[[Category:Number theory]]
[[Category:Charts]]

112: Baring My Heart

2022-05-04T00:58:03Z

Whymsie: Undo revision 233237 by X. K. C. D. (talk)

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{{comic
| number = 112
| date = June 7, 2006
| title = Baring My Heart
| image = baring_my_heart.png
| titletext = I'm just trying to explain, please don't be jealous! Man, why are all my relationships ruined by early 90's rappers?
}}

==Explanation==
[[Randall Munroe|Randall]] presents a logical diagram known as a {{w|Venn diagram}}, which illustrates the relationship between multiple sets. The diagram is usually used to illustrate the overlap between various sets. For example, a Venn diagram of "even numbers" and "numbers divisible by 5" would have 2, 4, 6, 8, 12… in one circle, 5, 15, 25… in another circle, and 10, 20, 30… in the intersection of the circles (as those numbers fit into both sets).

Here we have a three-set diagram that Randall has purportedly created to explain his feelings to his love interest. The three sets are:
# People who can always make him smile
# People he wants to spend the rest of his life with
# People who constantly show him new things to love about the world.

In the intersection of these three sets is "you" – his love interest; all three of these statements apply to her. Normally, this might be a cute way of simply implying that he has these three feelings about her, without including any other elements in any of the sets.

Here, however, Randall has included one other element: {{w|Vanilla Ice}} is shown to also constantly show Randall new things to love about the world, and to be someone Randall wants to spend the rest of his life with (although Vanilla Ice doesn't always make him smile).

{{w|Vanilla Ice}} is an {{w|United States|American}} {{w|Light skin|white-skinned}} {{w|Rapping|rapper}} who was most popular in the early {{w|1990s}} with his song "{{w|Ice Ice Baby}}." He was frequently mocked as a very "white" rapper. He is obviously an unexpected name to turn up in this diagram.

Apparently, Randall's love interest didn't take too well to Randall professing similar feelings for Vanilla Ice as he did for her, causing some friction in their relationship. The title text suggests that other '90s rappers have similarly affected Randall's past relationships.

==Transcript==
:[A Venn diagram with three sets]
:Description of set 1: People who can always make me smile
:Description of set 2: People who constantly show me new things about the world
:Description of set 3: People I want to spend the rest of my life with
:Intersection point: YOU.
:Intersection of sets 2 and 3: Vanilla Ice
{{comic discussion}}
[[Category:Venn diagrams]]
[[Category:Romance]]

111: Firefox and Witchcraft - The Connection?

2022-05-04T00:57:41Z

Whymsie: Undo revision 233130 by X. K. C. D. (talk)

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{{comic
| number = 111
| date = June 5, 2006
| title = Firefox and Witchcraft - The Connection?
| image = firefox wicca.png
| titletext = ThisadpaidforbythecounciltopromoteMicrosoftandChristianity. Remember, The Bible is Closed Source.
}}

==Explanation==
The comic charts the number of members of the religion {{w|Wicca}} against the number of times the {{w|Firefox}} web browser was downloaded, with the implication being that Firefox usage causes involvement in Wicca. In juxtaposing these almost certainly unrelated phenomena, Randall highlights the common error of assuming that {{w|Correlation_and_dependence|correlation}} implies {{w|Causality|causation}}. When two variables exhibit similar trends, this is often taken as proving that one is causing the other. However, such correlation may have come about through pure coincidence, and not indicate any link between the two at all. This is particularly a problem when examining a large number of variables: the chances of finding a [http://www.tylervigen.com/spurious-correlations coincidental correlation] increase exponentially as more variables are added. It may also be the case that a third factor is causally linked to both outcomes. In this case, it is plausible that the increasing ubiquity of internet access has resulted in increased demand for Firefox, and also in greater capacity to share the ideas of Wicca.

Randall further illustrates one common, and perhaps destructive, use of illusory correlation in the bottom half of the image. The appearance of the symbol for {{w|Internet Explorer}}, a rival web browser, and the cross, representing Christianity, imply that this graph is an attack ad promoted by Microsoft and Christianity to gain an advantage over their competitors.

The title text is reminiscent of political commercials, which tell you who paid for them, generally said very fast, represented by all the words being strung together. The last sentence is a play on the term of {{w|Closed source software|closed source software}}, which Internet Explorer is, as opposed to Firefox, which is open source in development. In a similar vein, the Bible can be considered "closed source" due to [http://kingjbible.com/revelation/22.htm God's prohibition on altering its contents].

==Transcript==
:[A graph is shown with a positive slope.]
:[Y axis]: Membership in Wicca
:[X axis]: Total Firefox Downloads
:[Internet Explorer icon.]
:<big>K</big>EEP TH<big>E</big>
:FAITH
:[Outline of a cross.]

==Trivia==

This type of [https://yourlogicalfallacyis.com/false-cause statistical ploy] is used again in a few other comics, like [[523: Decline]], [[552: Correlation]], and [[925: Cell Phones]].

{{comic discussion}}
[[Category:Comics with color]]
[[Category:Line graphs]]
[[Category:Statistics]]
[[Category:Religion]]

110: Clark Gable

2022-05-04T00:57:21Z

Whymsie: added de-crappifier

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{{comic
| number = 110
| date = June 2, 2006
| title = Clark Gable
| image = clark_gable.jpg
| titletext = Frankly, my dear, I don't give a BITCH ASS SHIT FUCK DAMN
}}

==Explanation==
"Frankly, my dear, I don't give a damn" is the signature catchphrase from the 1939 movie ''{{w|Gone With The Wind (film)|Gone With The Wind}}'', which starred {{w|Clark Gable}} and {{w|Vivien Leigh}}. The phrase is spoken by Gable's character {{w|Rhett Butler}} as his last line, in answer to {{w|Scarlett O'Hara}} (Leigh) asking "Where shall I go? What shall I do?" The response indicates that Butler is no longer interested in O'Hara. This lack of interest, and the mention of the word "damn," which was considered profanity at the time of releasing the film, led to the line being voted the #1 movie line of all time in 1995's American Film Institute ranking.

[[Randall Munroe|Randall]] suggests that the line as written was not supposed to contain profanity, but the actor, Gable, inserted it, due to having {{w|Tourette's Syndrome}}, which is a neurological condition that is stereotypically characterized by bouts of random, uncontrollable cursing (and repetition of phrases/words).

The title text contains a more stereotypical Tourette's Syndrome outburst of several profanities in a row shouted mid-sentence.

==Transcript==
:[Famous image of ''Gone with the Wind'' with Rhett Butler (Clark Gable) kissing Scarlett O'Hara (Vivien Leigh).]
:The line was actually supposed to be "Frankly, my dear, I couldn't care less." It's just that Clark Gable had Tourette's.

{{comic discussion}}
[[Category:Language]]
[[Category:Romance]]
[[Category:Comics featuring real people]]

109: Spoiler Alert

2022-05-04T00:57:03Z

Whymsie: Undo revision 232909 by X. K. C. D. (talk)

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{{comic
| number = 109
| date = May 31, 2006
| title = Spoiler Alert
| image = spoiler_alert.png
| titletext = And then it turns out they're both Tyler Durden.
}}

==Explanation==

This comic refers to several unexpected plot twists from various Hollywood movies and combines them into one giant twist invented by [[Randall Munroe|Randall]]. A "{{w|spoiler (media)|spoiler}}" is a term used to describe information about the plot of any media that could spoil the media for someone who has not viewed it. The term "spoiler alert" has become popularized as a warning to potential readers used to precede such spoilers, particularly in online posting. It is also a phrase often used ironically or angrily to suggest that something someone has just said is a spoiler. It is also used jokingly to suggest that something just said (or is about to be said) was a spoiler so long ago that "everyone" should have heard of it by now (e.g. "Spoiler alert, Vader is Luke's father").

{{w|Severus Snape}} is a character from J.K. Rowling's ''{{w|Harry Potter}}'' series of books.

{{w|Trinity (The Matrix)|Trinity}} is a character from ''{{w|The Matrix (franchise)|The Matrix}}'' trilogy of movies.

Rosebud is from the 1941 film ''{{w|Citizen Kane}}''.

From the title text, {{w|Fight Club (novel)#Tyler Durden|Tyler Durden}} is a character from the {{w|Fight Club (novel)|novel}} and movie ''{{w|Fight Club}}''.

All four references share the common ground that they are all involved in significant events or ideas in their respective movies that have been often spoiled by careless viewers for those who have not yet seen the movies. Here, the relevant events are mashed together into one and spoiled in one go.

=== Spoilers ===
In this comic, Snape is depicted knocking Trinity off a high place with a wooden sled named Rosebud.

* Snape {{Spoiler|kills someone important, by knocking them off a building.}}

* Trinity {{Spoiler|dies}}

* Rosebud is {{Spoiler|a sled}}

* Tyler Durden, mentioned in the title text, is {{Spoiler|both characters}}

As mentioned above, this is an amalgamation of four spoilers from four different stories:

* In {{w|Harry Potter}}, Snape (a professor at the Hogwarts school) {{Spoiler|kills Dumbledore (the headmaster) at the top of the Astronomy Tower}} in the penultimate book of the series, "{{w|Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince}}" (in the final book, we learn that it was {{Spoiler|part of Dumbledore's plan}}).

* Trinity (the female protagonist in {{w|The Matrix (franchise)|''The Matrix'' series}}) {{Spoiler|is killed}} in the third film, ''{{w|The Matrix Revolutions}}''.

* The central mystery of the classic film ''{{w|Citizen Kane}}'' is the meaning of "Rosebud" (the title character's last word), which is revealed at the end of the film to be {{Spoiler|the name of his childhood sled}}.

* The title text refers to the film ''{{w|Fight Club}}'', at the end of which it is revealed that the character played by {{w|Edward Norton}} {{Spoiler|is actually Tyler Durden (the name}} {{w|Brad Pitt}}'s {{Spoiler|character goes by); and Pitt's character is really just a figment of the Norton character's imagination; and that the viewer has been watching from Norton's point of view, seeing Pitt doing things Norton did not want to admit to himself he was capable of. In other words, the two roles are one and the same character. Near the end of the movie, Edward Norton kills Tyler Durden (his split personality) at the top of a skyscraper}}.

==Transcript==
:[At the tope of the panel there is a large heading:]
:'''Spoiler Alert!'''

:[Below that Severus Snape with long black hair is smacking a trenchcoat-clad Trinity off the top of a building with a brown sled. Below them is the following caption:]
:Snape kills Trinity with Rosebud!

{{comic discussion}}

[[Category:Comics with color]]
[[Category:The Matrix]]
[[Category:Harry Potter]]
[[Category:Fiction]]
[[Category:Fight Club]]

108: M.C. Hammer Slide

2022-05-04T00:56:39Z

Whymsie: Undo revision 235814 by X. K. C. D. (talk)

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{{comic
| number = 108
| date = May 29, 2006
| title = M.C. Hammer Slide
| image = mc_hammer_slide.png
| titletext = Once, long ago, I saw this girl go by. I didn't stop and talk to her, and I've regretted it ever since.
}}

==Explanation==
The base part of the comic is self-explanatory: Girl attracts Boy, Boy notices Girl, Boy approaches Girl, Girl reacts positively, Boy falls in love, Girl decides to answer lovecall, happily ever after, etc. The quirk in this comic is that the way Girl catches attention of Boy is through the signature move of 1980s rapper {{w|MC Hammer}} (the slide). To watch MC Hammer doin' the slide, click [https://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_detailpage&v=otCpCn0l4Wo#t=116 here].

The title text indicates that [[Randall]] once saw a girl go by and regrets that he did not speak with her as Boy does in this comic. It is possible that the girl Randall is referring to was actually doing the slide.

==Transcript==
:[Two guys stand next to each other talking.]
:Hairy: I just feel like somewhere out there is the girl for me.
:Cueball: Yeah.
:Hairy: Someone loving and caring.
:Cueball: I know what you mean.
:Hairy: A girl whose only mode of transportation is the M.C. Hammer Slide.
:Cueball: Yeah.
:Cueball: ...Wait, what?
:[Megan hammer slides past.]
:[Hairy sees Megan hammer slide and it's love at first sight.]
:[Megan hammer slides over into Hairy's waiting arms.]

{{comic discussion}}
[[Category:Comics featuring Hairy]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Cueball]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Megan]]
[[Category:Romance]]

107: Snakes on a Plane! 2

2022-05-04T00:56:20Z

Whymsie: added de-crappifier

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{{comic
| number = 107
| date = May 26, 2006
| title = Snakes on a Plane! 2
| image = snakes_on_a_plane_2.jpg
| titletext = James suggested this, and I'd have to agree. It'd be much worse.
}}
==Explanation==
''{{w|Snakes on a Plane}}'' is a 2006 movie starring {{w|Samuel L. Jackson}}. It features (surprisingly) snakes, on a plane, attacking the passengers. This comic proposes a sequel, taking the idea to the next level, making things infinitely worse: snakes on every plane!

To have snakes on every plane is much worse than snakes on just one,{{citation needed}} as many more innocent bystanders would be injured or killed, and the entire aviation industry would be destroyed. Plus it would be difficult, as there were hundreds of snakes in a single plane in the first movie, so finding enough snakes would be a challenge itself. Since the original movie was generally considered to be quite bad, there is an implied double meaning in the suggested poster, that the movie itself would be "Much Worse Than Last Time."

In the title text, [[Randall]] credits [[James]] with the idea.

==Transcript==
:[A sky full of jumbo jets is shown in movie poster format.]
:Top of the poster: From the creators of last summer's hit thriller ''Snakes On a Plane'' comes:
:Superimposed on the sky and planes: Snakes... on EVERY Plane!
:Much worse than last time.

{{comic discussion}}
[[Category:Comics with color]]
[[Category:Language]]
[[Category:Comics featuring James]]

106: Wright Brothers

2022-05-04T00:56:02Z

Whymsie: Undo revision 233149 by X. K. C. D. (talk)

<div style="display: none">crap</div> <div style="display: none">crap </div>
{{comic
| number = 106
| date = May 24, 2006
| title = Wright Brothers
| image = wright_brothers.png
| titletext = I'm not sure if this is actually true.
}}

==Explanation==
The {{w|Wright brothers}} are Orville and Wilbur Wright, who are credited with the invention of the {{w|airplane}} and the first "controlled, powered, and sustained heavier-than-air human flight" in 1903.

[[Cueball]] mentions to [[Megan]] that the Wright Brothers would sometimes argue each other's point during debates in order to "encourage a more balanced debate" – presumably so both brothers would explore all of the arguments on both sides. Megan is initially against the idea, stating that treating emotionally-charged personal issues as if they were academic debates would not work. Cueball argues that it would force each person to consider the other's point of view. However, when Megan reconsiders, accepts his argument, and appears to agree that they should try it, Cueball abruptly switches his position to thinking that it's a terrible idea. The joke is that once Megan agrees with him, he employs his Wright Brothers suggestion and takes her initial position that the idea was bad. Thus, the two have switched their arguments and are now exploring the other sides. They may continue in this way to form a well balanced conclusion on the proposal or continually switch sides without ever concluding the argument.

The title text suggests that [[Randall]] may either be misremembering the fact that the Wright brothers used this technique, or not be convinced that the source is reliable, but has decided to assume it is true just so that he could make the joke in this comic.

==Transcript==
:[Cueball and Megan are talking to each other.]
:Cueball: I've heard that when the Wright brothers argued, they periodically switched sides in the debate to try to encourage a more balanced conclusion.
:Cueball: We should try that in our relationship!

:Megan: It's a neat idea, but I think treating personal issues like a debate will only engender hostility and hurt feelings.

:Cueball: No, I think it would help, by forcing us to consider the other person's point of view.

:Megan: Hmm, maybe you're right.
:Cueball: Am not. It's a bad idea.

{{comic discussion}}
[[Category:Comics featuring Cueball]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Megan]]
[[Category:Romance]]

105: Parallel Universe

2022-05-04T00:55:43Z

Whymsie: Undo revision 235163 by X. K. C. D. (talk)

<div style="display: none">crap</div> <div style="display: none">crap </div>
{{comic
| number = 105
| date = May 22, 2006
| title = Parallel Universe
| image = parallel_universe.jpg
| titletext = It's possible. Better to be on the safe side.
}}

==Explanation==
[[Cueball]] has (by some ritual, judging by the {{w|pentagram}}) summoned himself from a {{w|Multiverse|parallel universe}}. [[Hairy]] suggests that Cueball should take advantage of this rare opportunity and {{w|Making out|make out}} with his other self.

In the third panel, Cueball seems to turn his head in response to the unexpected response. Hairy suggests that Cueball should make out with him instead, since he could also vanish at any moment. This indicates that Hairy may be attracted to Cueball, and he may have made the previous suggestion with the ulterior, voyeuristic motive of observing two attractive people making out with each other.

The title text is ambiguous. It could mean that Cueball should not risk his other self disappearing, or it could mean that the risk is Hairy disappearing.

; Alternative explanation
By a very big stretch of imagination, we can think that the other person is [[Megan]] instead of Hairy (i.e. a female instead of a male).

If the character is Megan, the third panel is her having reconsidered that she would rather Cueball not make out with anyone other than her, by threatening that she would leave him.

The title text does not help in deciding if this alternative is correct or not. If it is Megan, Cueball should stay safe and not make out with himself. If it is not, he should play it safe and make out now, before his alternate self goes back to the parallel universe.

All this ambiguity suggests a third joke. Perhaps there are two universes that this is playing out in: in one of them the character is Megan; in the other it is not.

It could also be that the parallel universe that the comic takes place in is not that of the normal comics, and that the Cueball summoned could be of the standard comics. In this universe, Hairy could be the replacement for Megan.

Making out with yourself is also mentioned in [[267: Choices: Part 4]].

==Transcript==
:[Cueball and Hairy are standing next to a large pentagram with candles at the points. A figure is hovering above it in a wave of energy.]
:Cueball: Sweet. I summoned myself from a parallel universe.
:Hairy: You know, he could vanish at any moment.
:Hairy: You should take this chance to make out with yourself.
:Hairy: . . . You know, '''<u>I</u>''' could vanish at any moment.

{{comic discussion}}
[[Category:Comics featuring Cueball]]
[[Category:Homosexuality]]
[[Category:Multiple Cueballs]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Hairy]]

104: Find You

2022-05-04T00:55:27Z

Whymsie: Undo revision 233835 by X. K. C. D. (talk)

<div style="display: none">crap</div> <div style="display: none">crap </div>
{{comic
| number = 104
| date = May 19, 2006
| title = Find You
| image = find you.jpg
| titletext = I'm like the Terminator, except with love!
}}

==Explanation==
This comic depicts [[Cueball]] climbing on a rope in a cavern. The text indicates that one of his loved ones used to be afraid of being taken away from him and being forgotten. It is not explicitly made clear whether the loved one in question is a woman with whom he is in love, a family member, or a relation of some other kind, but presumably the loved one is his partner.

Cueball had promised that he would always come looking for this person, but then they were actually taken from him. He reiterates that he was serious about his promise, and that he hopes they are not afraid, because he's coming to find them.

It's not clear exactly in what manner his loved one was taken from him, only that they were torn from his arms and vanished from this world. Though there are many other possible interpretations, this might be read to indicate that they have died and that Cueball is descending a cavern in search of the underworld where they have been taken.

The title text compares Cueball to the apparently unstoppable Terminator, from {{w|The Terminator|the 1984 film}} of the same name, in which Kyle Reese, talking to Sarah Connor, gives the following description of the Terminator: "It can't be bargained with. It can't be reasoned with. It doesn't feel pity, or remorse, or fear. And it absolutely will not stop, ever, until you are dead." The implication is that Cueball, motivated by love, can't be persuaded to stop looking for his loved one by any means, and that he will never stop looking until he finds them.

==Transcript==
:[The panel is black with rough-edged white passages running down through it. Cueball is climbing onto a rope that is dangling down one of these passages. White text is in the black sections.]
:You were afraid that you would disappear, that you would be lost and forgotten.
:I held you tight against the dark and said that I would always come for you.
:Then one day it happened. You were torn from my arms and vanished from this world.
:Maybe you don't remember my promise. But I meant every word.
:I hope you're not afraid, wherever you are.
:You don't need to be.
:I'm not.
:I will find you.

== Trivia ==
For technical reasons (see discussion, below) the image may display inverted.

{{comic discussion}}

[[Category:Comics featuring Cueball]]
[[Category:Terminator]]

103: Moral Relativity

2022-05-04T00:55:12Z

Whymsie: added de-crappifier

<div style="display: none">crap</div> <div style="display: none">crap </div>
{{comic
| number = 103
| date = May 17, 2006
| title = Moral Relativity
| image = moral_relativity.jpg
| titletext = It's science!
}}

== Explanation ==
This comic plays on the similar sounding terms relativ''ity'' and relativ''ism''.

{{w|Moral relativism}} is a position in the philosophical field of {{w|ethics}} that holds that moral judgments are not absolute, but vary depending on the circumstances involved and the person (or people) making them. Philosophers who hold this kind of position are often mischaracterised as believing that 'it's OK to be self-serving, steal, and murder.'

The scientific {{w|theory of relativity}} predicts (among other things) that measurements of an object change the closer to the speed of light it travels: length contracts, observed time slows down, the notion of separated simultaneous events is relative, and so on.

Randall claims to have created a new philosophy called "Moral Relativity," which appears to be a mash-up of the two ideas, where things that are typically considered unethical become more acceptable as the subject's speed increases. This supposed theory of ethics is cited to explain why rap music, perhaps particularly {{w|Gangsta rap}}, which often has lyrics describing rape, murder, and substance abuse, is better when traveling at speed. Music videos for Gangsta Rap also frequently feature cars speeding on the highway. The graph is a parody on that of the {{w|Lorentz factor}}, which is the factor by which time is dilated and length contracted.

Note that '''relativity''' in the Theory of Relativity (in ''physics'') came from the {{w|principle of relativity}}: the idea that equations describing the laws of physics have '''the same form''' in all admissible frames of reference (as opposed to ''moral'' relativity).

==Transcript==
:[A graph, rationalization as a function of speed, increasing asymptotically at ''c''.]
:Related to moral relativism, it states that ethics become subjective only when you approach the speed of light.
:That is, it's okay to be self-serving, steal, and murder as long as you're going really, really fast.
:(Note: This is why rap sounds better on the highway at 90 mph)

{{comic discussion}}
[[Category:Line graphs]]
[[Category:Philosophy]]
[[Category:Physics]]
[[Category:Science]]

102: Back to the Future

2022-05-04T00:54:27Z

Whymsie: Undo revision 233876 by X. K. C. D. (talk)

<div style="display: none">crap</div> <div style="display: none">crap </div>
{{comic
| number = 102
| date = May 15, 2006
| title = Back to the Future
| image = back_to_the_future.jpg
| titletext = He's kind of an asshole, when you think about it.
}}

==Explanation==
This comic is a reference to the ''{{w|Back to the Future}}'' film series (specifically the first film) in which the protagonist, {{w|Marty McFly}} (played by {{w|Michael J. Fox}}), travels back from 1985 (present day for him) to 1955 and accidentally interferes with his own parents' first meeting. He must then arrange for them to fall in love before he ceases to exist due to the paradox of his own parents never having children. An unintended side-effect of the way events occur is that his dad gains self-confidence in the past and becomes "less of a loser" in the present.

As noted in the comic, the time machine Marty uses is built by his professor friend, Doctor Emmett L. Brown ({{w|Christopher Lloyd}}), out of a {{w|DeLorean DMC-12}} (a 1980s-era sports car).

[[Hairy]] ([[Cueball]] in the last two panels, as the art is inconsistent in this early comic, and his hair is removed in the last two panels) has had a very similar experience. He suggests that the aforementioned changes to history are what he really needed to do. After a frame of awkward silence, [[Megan]] reminds him that her father was in the {{w|World Trade Center (1973–2001)|World Trade Center}} (WTC) North Tower – implying that he died along with several thousand others in the North Tower on {{w|September 11 attacks|September 11, 2001}} at the time the tower collapsed due to a terrorist-flown passenger jet crashing into the building. Megan is therefore implying that saving her father's life (and perhaps the lives of the other 9/11 victims, or even preventing other disasters in history, such as the 2011 earthquake and tsunami in Japan, or the holocaust) might have been something else of importance he "needed" to do — perhaps something of significantly more importance than just helping his father. He seems completely oblivious to what she is trying to suggest. Megan starts to explain, but apparently decides that there's no point even trying to get through to him.

The title text is calling Marty McFly an asshole for not doing something more benevolent for humankind when he travelled back in time, just as the comic implies of Hairy/Cueball. It can also be seen as someone (presumably Hairy/Cueball) trying to justify the choice, by saying that Megan's dad was "kind of an asshole."

As a side note, for the comic to make sense, the events in the comic must take place after {{w|September 11 attacks|September 11, 2001}}, and not 1985 as it is in the movie. Since no dates are mentioned, Hairy/Cueball probably went back by thirty years, because that's how far back Marty travels in the film.

==Transcript==
:[Megan and Hairy are standing, talking to one another.]
:Hairy: This weekend, my professor friend built a time machine out of a DeLorean and I went back in time! I helped make sure my parents got together and helped my dad to be less of a loser.

:Megan: Wow! Do you still have the time machine?
:Hairy: Nah. But I did what I really needed to do.
:Megan: Uh huh.

:[Beat panel. Hairy's hair isn't drawn in this panel or the next one, making him a Cueball.]

:Megan: Okay, you remember that my father was in the WTC North Tower, right?
:Cueball: Yeah...why?
:Megan: I...nothing.

{{comic discussion}}
[[Category:Comics featuring Cueball]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Megan]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Hairy]]
[[Category:Time travel]]
[[Category:Back to the Future]]
[[Category:9/11]]

101: Laser Scope

2022-05-04T00:53:40Z

Whymsie: Undo revision 236255 by X. K. C. D. (talk)

<div style="display: none">crap</div> <div style="display: none">crap </div>
{{comic
| number = 101
| date = May 12, 2006
| title = Laser Scope
| image = laser_scope.jpg
| titletext = I wish I'd missed you then so I wouldn't be missing you now
}}

==Explanation==
This comic plays on the {{w|homonym}}ic relationship between "miss" (to feel sad due to the absence of someone) and "miss" (to fail to hit – in this case, with a gunshot). "Miss your loved ones?" is a question that would generally use the former "miss." However, its use on the package for a laser scope implies the latter "miss."

A {{w|Telescopic Sight|sighting scope}} can be attached to a firearm to aid in aiming the weapon. The addition of a {{w|List_of_laser_applications#Laser_sight|laser}} improves the accuracy of the weapon by making it easier to aim consistently. The model number RJX-21 does not appear to be a reference to anything, and this comic is primarily a play on a common marketing technique of adapting a common saying to your own product by use of homonym or {{w|homophone}}; in this case, it is perhaps an inappropriate use, as one would not be expected to be aiming a firearm at their loved ones. In real life, this would imply a serious family breakdown with extreme feelings of pain and revenge, which is actually a tragically sad story, not the normal fodder for a light-hearted joke.

The title text hammers it home with the dual use of the word "miss," as the writer wishes he had missed (failed in his attempt to shoot) someone so they would not miss them (feel bad that they are not there), implying that he shot a family member, and is now feeling the grief. The humor here is that the writer apparently still cares about his loved one, despite having attempted to shoot them in the past.

==Transcript==
:[Box with a mailing label on one side, and in the front:]
:Miss your loved ones?
:[Picture of a laser scope.]
:YOU DON'T HAVE TO.
:RJX-21 Laser Scope

{{comic discussion}}
[[Category:Language]]
[[Category:Puns]]
[[Category:Comics with lowercase text]]

100: Family Circus

2022-05-04T00:53:15Z

Whymsie: Undo revision 234528 by X. K. C. D. (talk)

<div style="display: none">crap</div> <div style="display: none">crap </div>
{{comic
| number = 100
| date = May 10, 2006
| title = Family Circus
| image = family circus.jpg
| titletext = This was my friend David's idea
}}

==Explanation==
''{{w|The Family Circus}}'' is a comic characterized by single-panel round comics with a caption below the comic. Jeffy is a character in ''Family Circus'', and dotted lines representing his wanderings are a frequent theme of ''Family Circus'' comics. {{w|Obsessive-compulsive disorder}} (OCD) is a mental illness that compels the sufferer to perform repetitive actions. Common symptoms include, but are not restricted to, excessive hand washing and repeated opening and closing of a door.

The comic depicts the character Jeffy as having Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder and traces his movements over a period of time. The dotted line that depicts his movements returns frequently to the kitchen sink, presumably to repeatedly wash his hands.

In the title text, [[Randall]] attributes this idea to the unknown friend [[:Category:David|David]]. He did the same in [[42: Geico]] and [[51: Malaria]].

==Transcript==
:[Picture shows a pathway winding through trees to a sink inside a house, out to some swings and back to the sink, out to a ball and back to the sink, then on into the house.]
:Jeffy's ongoing struggle with obsessive-compulsive disorder

{{comic discussion}}
[[Category:Comics with color]]
[[Category:David]]
[[Category:Psychology]]
[[Category:Comics with lowercase text]]

1065: Shoes

2022-05-04T00:49:14Z

Whymsie: Undo revision 233989 by X. K. C. D. (talk)

<div style="display: none">crap</div>
{{comic
| number = 1065
| date = June 6, 2012
| title = Shoes
| image = shoes.png
| titletext = I *do* hear that they're the most comfortable thing to wear on your feet since sliced bread.
}}

==Explanation==
[[Cueball]] is a knight that has saved a kingdom. It seems that he is being rewarded by a god, since his reward is inside a box that is floating in a beam of heavenly light. Inside the box is a pair of shoes with five toes - and with these magic shoes, he can outrun {{w|Death (Discworld)|Death}}.

This comic refers to a new type of {{w|Minimalist shoe|running shoes}} which have very little actual support with individual areas for each toe (they are supposed to make you feel like you are running barefoot). Specifically, the shoes Cueball takes out of the box look like {{w|Vibram FiveFingers}}.

The joke in the comic is that the shoes are so strange/creepy, that Cueball is not even sure he would want to live forever if he would have to wear these shoes at all times. {{W|Immortality}} is not worth it.

The title text is a play on the common phrase "x is the best thing since sliced bread". The way that [[Randall]] uses the phrase in the title text humorously implies that these shoes would be almost as good to wear on your feet as two slices of bread.

Earlier in [[977: Map Projections]], it was stated that those who preferred the {{w|Dymaxion map|Dymaxion projection}} would wear shoes with toes. And later in [[1735: Fashion Police and Grammar Police]] it was a different type of shoes that were deemed non-fashionable with the {{w|Crocs}}.

==Transcript==
:[Cueball, holding a sword, looks up to a disembodied voice coming from above, and a box hovers in the air before him.]
:Voice: For saving my kingdom, I offer you a gift of great power.

:[Cueball's sword is now propped up against the right edge of the panel. The box opens, a glow emanating from within.]
:Voice: These magic shoes enable the wearer to outrun death itself.
:Cueball: Thank you. I...

:[A close-up on Cueball as he examines the shoes. They have five toes.]
:Cueball: Whoa, wait. They have those creepy individual toes.

:[Cueball puts the shoes back in the still-hovering box. The sword cannot be seen.]
:Voice: But they make you immortal.
:Cueball: ...I have to think about this.

{{comic discussion}}
[[Category:Comics featuring Cueball]]

1068: Swiftkey

2022-05-04T00:48:05Z

Whymsie: Undo revision 235844 by X. K. C. D. (talk)

<div style="display: none">crap</div>
{{comic
| number = 1068
| date = June 13, 2012
| title = Swiftkey
| image = swiftkey.png
| titletext = Although the Markov chain-style text model is still rudimentary; it recently gave me "Massachusetts Institute of America". Although I have to admit it sounds prestigious.
}}

==Explanation==
[[Cueball]] has installed {{w|SwiftKey}} on his smartphone and brags about this to [[Megan]]. SwiftKey is a product that is installable on {{w|iOS}}/{{w|Android (operating system)|Android}}-based phones and tablets.

Cueball explains that if you type space bar on the keyboard it auto-completes the word you are currently typing founded on its best guess, and then if you continue to press space it will add new words using this guessing process based on the previous word(s) and what it believes is the most likely words you would use in a sentence containing the previous word(s).

Megan asks what happens if you begin a new message by just using space to automatically create a text. Cueball's best guess it begins with the word SwiftKey has found to be the typical starting word and then continues as normal from that.

Megan then realizes that in this way it builds up his "typical" sentence and she tries this over the next eight small frames: ''I am so sorry- that's never happened before.''

"I'm so sorry– that's never happened before." is a typical excuse for a mishap, usually when {{tvtropes|TheLoinsSleepTonight|one fails to produce an erection when it is needed}}. Such a phrase being quoted by an algorithm implies that such mishaps are common, and therefore "I'm so sorry– that's never happened before." is a lie. Also, Swiftkey might be saying "I'm so sorry– that's never happened before." because the software doesn't know what to do.

SwiftKey has noticed their inclusion in xkcd and have created a blog post for other users to comment with their default phrase when they hit the "central prediction key". The results are [http://www.swiftkey.com/swiftkey-on-xkcd pretty funny] (the site now redirects to a website asking to download the keyboard, an archived version can be found [https://web.archive.org/web/20190226120542/https://blog.swiftkey.com/swiftkey-on-xkcd/ here]). In addition, Reddit users have a similar model creating [https://www.reddit.com/r/SubredditSimulator /r/subredditsimulator], which is populated by bots generating submissions and comments based on the language of their subreddits.

In the title text, a {{w|Markov chain}} refers to a system that transitions between a countable number of states, based only on the current state and none of the previous ones that led up to it. SwiftKey follows this property since it provides outputs based only on the most recently entered word or words, not the whole sentence.

"Massachusetts Institute of America" is a nonexistent organization. The name appears to have formed by combining "{{w|Massachusetts Institute of Technology}}" and either "[Field] Institute of America" (e.g. Mining) or "United States of America". This illustrates the memoryless property of a Markov chain; after generating "Massachusetts Institute of", SwiftKey may have attempted to predict the next word using only the last "of" or "Institute of". Since it was not considering the word "Massachusetts" at all, the word "America" was viewed as the most likely follow-up.

==Transcript==
:[Cueball showing his phone to Megan.]
:Cueball: Have you tried SwiftKey? It's got the first decent language model I've seen. It learns from your SMS/Email archives what words you use together most often.

:[Cueball and Megan in a frameless panel, with Megan now holding Cueball's phone.]
:Cueball: Spacebar inserts its best guess. So if I type "The Empi" and hit space three times, it types "The Empire Strikes Back".
:Megan: What if you mash space in a blank message?

:[Zoomed in on Megan looking at Cueball's phone, with Cueball now off-frame to the left.]
:Cueball: I guess it fills in your most likely first word, then the word that usually follows it...
:Megan: So it builds up your "typical" sentence. Cool! Let's see yours!
:Cueball: Uh—

:[Eight small frames arranged in panel space, 2 frames wide by 4 frames high, showing each word added by Swiftkey as Megan hits space each time:]
:SwiftKey: I
:SwiftKey: Am
:SwiftKey: So
:SwiftKey: Sorry—
:SwiftKey: That's
:SwiftKey: Never
:SwiftKey: Happened
:SwiftKey: Before.

{{comic discussion}}
[[Category:Comics featuring Cueball]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Megan]]
[[Category:Language]]
[[Category:Smartphones]]

1069: Alphabet

2022-05-04T00:47:14Z

Whymsie: Undo revision 235695 by X. K. C. D. (talk)

<div style="display: none">crap</div>
{{comic
| number = 1069
| date = June 15, 2012
| title = Alphabet
| image = alphabet.png
| titletext = Do I get to remove letters entirely? Or just rearrange them? Because the 'k/c' situation is ridiculous. Look, we can make out whenever. This is *immortality*!}}

==Explanation==
This comic is mainly a joke on the traditional {{w|pick-up line}} that goes: "Baby, if I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put 'U' and 'I' together", i.e. "you and I", or "the letter U and the letter I".

However, in typical [[xkcd]] fashion, rather than continuing with that tired pickup line, addressed at [[Blondie]] at the bar, [[Cueball]] jumps at his hypothetical chance to rearrange the alphabet and fix the {{w|English orthography}}.

An {{w|orthography}} is a standardized system for using a particular {{w|writing}} system (script) to write a particular language, including rules of spelling. The English orthography happens to be one of the deepest (that is, most irregular) ones around, since almost every sound can be spelled in several ways, and most spellings and all letters can be pronounced in more than one way, and often in many different ways.

So faced with this opportunity, the hooking up could wait. Restructuring the alphabet and creating a sensibly regular English spelling is the chance of a lifetime, and would make history, making Cueball immortal in the sense of living on forever in memory, as the alphabet-fixer.

In the title text Cueball muses on the possibilities. Does he get to remove letters entirely or just rearrange them (like putting U and I together)? Then he mentions "the 'k/c' situation" specifically because that "situation is ridiculous". This is about the use of the letter 'c'. It doesn't have a unique sound, and most often makes a {{w|Voiceless velar stop|'k'-sound}} or an {{w|Voiceless alveolar sibilant|'s'-sound}}. Combined with an 'h' it usually makes the {{w|Voiceless palato-alveolar affricate|'ch'-sound}} in ''chair'', but also they often sound like 'k' (''character''), and in not too few cases they even make the {{w|Voiceless palato-alveolar sibilant|'sh'-sound}} (like ''champagne'', [http://wiki.answers.com/Q/Words_with_the_letters_ch_that_sound_like_sh see more examples here]). So a reasonable change Cueball might make is to replace 'c' by 'k' or 's', and keep 'c' only followed by 'h' (or even giving 'c' the current sound of 'ch' as in ''chair'' or giving the role of 'ch' as in ''chair'' to 'kh', spelling 'khair')''.

He finishes off by stating that they can make out any other time, because fixing the alphabet now would bring him immortality.

Orthography was again the subject in [[1562: I in Team]]. A non-standard version of this pickup joke was previously referenced in [[279: Pickup Lines]].

==Transcript==
:[Cueball stands behind Blondie who has turned her head towards him while sitting at a bar stool at a bar desk. She holds on to a wine glass standing on the desk. Two regular glasses are standing on the desk in front of her.]
:Cueball: Baby, if I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd forget about you in a ''heartbeat''.
:Cueball: I'm not gonna waste my one chance to help the mess that is English orthography.

{{comic discussion}}

[[Category:Comics featuring Cueball]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Blondie]]
[[Category:Language]]

1070: Words for Small Sets

2022-05-04T00:46:35Z

Whymsie: Undo revision 235866 by X. K. C. D. (talk)

<div style="display: none">crap</div>
{{comic
| number = 1070
| date = June 18, 2012
| title = Words for Small Sets
| image = words_for_small_sets.png
| titletext = If things are too quiet, try asking a couple of friends whether "a couple" should always mean "two". As with the question of how many spaces should go after a period, it can turn acrimonious surprisingly fast unless all three of them agree.
}}

==Explanation==
The noun "couple" can mean "exactly two items of the same kind," or it can be used interchangeably with words like "few" or "several", which in this context mean "comparatively small but definitely greater than one". But some people insist that "couple" can only mean two, by analogy with the specific use of the word "couple" to refer to exactly one pair of people who are in a romantic relationship.

This comic also alludes to similar arguments about the relative meaning of phrases like "few" and "several" (some people will argue that "several" should mean more than "few", while others will argue the opposite or that it doesn't matter), making this comic [http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=troll+bait troll bait]. [[Randall]] is attempting to "troll" (intentionally provoke) the people who claim "couple" must mean exactly two by taking the other side of the argument.

The title text similarly alludes to the argument. Randall says "Try asking a couple of friends [...] unless all three of them agree," which jokingly refers to the same group of people first by the vague term "couple," which can include three, and then specifies the exact number, resulting in a jarring effect as if a "couple" meant exactly three. The title text also mentions the {{w|Sentence spacing|sentence spacing}} issue as an example of another topic known to ignite energetic arguments among pedantic types without ever leading to consensus. Sentence spacing is later seen in [[1285: Third Way]]. The sentence spacing arguments are about whether one or two space characters must be used after the period character at the end of the sentence.

The title text also points out an unusual situation where troll baiting may not work: namely, intending to spark an argument is most effective if there is a disagreement on the matter. If all of the inquired friends have the same opinion on the matter (be it the definition of 'couple' or the number of spaces after a period), then an argument may not spark, and the trolling attempt may fail. Randall also takes a side in the title text, saying "a couple of friends" and then later "all three of them".

==Transcript==
:[Heading above table:]
:Just to clear things up:
:[A chart with four rows and two columns is shown.]
:;A few
::Anywhere from 2 to 5

:;A handful
::Anywhere from 2 to 5

:;Several
::Anywhere from 2 to 5

:;A couple
::2 (but sometimes up to 5)

{{comic discussion}}
[[Category:Charts]]
[[Category:Language]]
[[Category:Compromise]]
[[Category:Pedantic]]

1081: Argument Victory

2022-05-04T00:45:43Z

Whymsie: Undo revision 235898 by X. K. C. D. (talk)

<div style="display: none">crap</div>
{{comic
| number = 1081
| date = July 13, 2012
| title = Argument Victory
| image = argument victory.png
| titletext = Really, the comforting side in most conspiracy theory arguments is the one claiming that anyone who's in power has any plan at all.
}}

==Explanation==
[[Cueball]] is arguing with a {{w|conspiracy theorist}} who believes in some {{rw|conspiracy}}, who is sitting in front of his computer talking back. They are probably using {{w|Skype}}, {{w|FaceTime}}, or another video calling service, as Cueball later asks him to watch closely, holding his phone up to show the other guy what he is doing.

Cueball's opponent seems to ignore all reliable sources, like {{w|Snopes}} and {{w|Wikipedia}} on top of several {{w|Academic journal|journals}}, instead preferring sources that are seemingly not credible (but that do agree with him). These conspiracy ".net" pages typically just have a black background and use several different sizes of fonts, the larger (and probably also in bright colors), the more convincing, seems to be the belief, and Cueball cannot take these kinds of sources seriously. ".net" websites can be made by anyone and have little limitations. The maker of a ".net" does not need to show sources of information or even their name. As such, ".net" websites are notoriously unreliable and often have viruses or other malware. [http://zapatopi.net/blackhelicopters/ The Truth about Black Helicopters] is a (satirical) example of one such website, supposedly explaining the truth behind government "Black Helicopters".

The conspiracy theorist insists that by trusting reliable sources, Cueball is simply buying into the cover-up, suggesting that all those journalists are somehow brainwashed. Cueball says he can win the argument, and will show him how, but then ceases to argue further in favor of going down a {{w|waterslide}} while holding up the phone to show the other guy how to have a good time. Since conspiracy theorists tend to be [[wikt:intransigent|intransigent]], Cueball sees himself as the victor after ceasing to argue with a guy who cannot be argued with, and instead decides to have some fun. This is made even more satisfying for Cueball by the fact that it makes his opponent angry. It's likely that this is also a reference to the ''[https://knowyourmeme.com/memes/your-argument-is-invalid "Your Argument is Invalid"]'' meme.

The joke here is also in the title of the comic which is ''[http://imgur.com/EKkAXgR Argument Victory]'' something that is very hard to achieve by on the web... Cueball won this victory not by arguing but by stopping this argument he was having with someone that could/would not be argued with, such as going down a waterslide.

The title text points out that belief in a conspiracy presupposes that those with the power to carry out the conspiracy actually have a plan, a situation which might be found more "comforting" than the alternative that those in power are just muddling through with no plan at all. This concept is revisited in [[1274: Open Letter]].

==Transcript==
:[Cueball, looking right, is talking at his smartphone while holding it up in front of his head using both hands.]
:Cueball: I can't believe you're so wrong. I'm backed by Snopes, Wikipedia, and a half-dozen journals. You're citing .net pages with black backgrounds and like 20 fonts each.

:[A conspiracy theorist is sitting in front of this lap top at his desk looking left. He has his hair combed down. He is talking to Cueball via his laptop, probably Skyping.]
:Conspiracy theorist: It's sad how you buy into the official story so unquestioningly.
:Conspiracy theorist: Guess some people ''prefer'' to stay asleep.

:[Back to Cueball who has lowered his phone a bit. The reply from the conspiracy theorist is shown to come out of the phone with a jagged arrow and likewise speech bubble.]
:Cueball: Watch closely— I'm about to win this argument.
:Conspiracy theorist (reply from phone): How?

:[Cueball is sitting at the very top of a waterslide preparing to descend.]
:Cueball: By ''going down a waterslide''.

:[A split panel, with a close-up of the conspiracy theorist above and below Cueball is sliding down the waterslide with both hands above his head, water splashing up behind him as he holds his smartphone above the water in one hand.]
:Conspiracy theorist: So? What does that prove?
:Cueball: ''Wheee..''

:[Another split panel, this time a smaller part is used for the close-up of the conspiracy theorist above and below Cueball has more of this panels space for sliding down to the bottom of the waterslide with both hands above his head, water still splashing up behind him as he continues to keep his smartphone above the water in one hand.]
:Conspiracy theorist: You didn't win the argument!
:Cueball: ''...eeee!''
:Cueball: ''Sploosh!''

{{comic discussion}}

[[Category:Comics featuring Cueball]]
[[Category:Conspiracy theory]]
[[Category:Wikipedia]]
[[Category:Internet]]

1111: Premiere

2022-05-04T00:22:29Z

Whymsie: Undo revision 234645 by X. K. C. D. (talk)

{{comic
| number = 1111
| date = September 21, 2012
| title = Premiere
| image = premiere.png
| titletext = 'But what's the buzz about the film?' 'We're hoping it's distracting.'
}}

==Explanation==
This comic depicts an entertainment news television program. [[Hairy]], as the [[:Category:News anchor|news anchor]], notes that "all Hollywood" is in town, meaning there are a lot of members of the film industry. The event is a movie premiere, a common place for reporters to interview celebrities, actors, and other people related to entertainment.

[[Megan]] represents the reporter at the premiere reporting for the television program. The {{w|red carpet}} is a tradition whereby a long red carpet is laid out leading to the entrance of a theater as a symbol of elegance. {{w|Movie stars}} are said to "walk the red carpet" when they arrive and do interviews and pose for photos along this carpet, most famously seen at the {{w|Oscars}}.

When asked the ambiguous question "How do things look?", instead of reporting on the premiere and the movie stars arriving, Megan reports on the bleak {{w|Future of the Earth|long-term outlook}} for the {{w|Earth}} as we know it. She states than in about 800 million years the {{w|Sun}} will become so hot that the Earth's {{w|Future_of_the_Earth#Loss_of_oceans|oceans boil away}}. According to the Wikipedia article this will though first happen in about 1.1 billion years. But the 800 million years may have been the best estimate back in 2012 when this comic was released, see for instance this [http://www.dailymail.co.uk/sciencetech/article-2523012/Good-news-Planet-Earth-gets-extra-850-million-years-oceans-boil-away-scientists-expand-Goldilocks-zone.html article] from 2013 that states 850 million years. (The loss of oceans will still happen long before the sun {{w|Sun#After_core_hydrogen_exhaustion|turns into}} a {{w|red giant}} in about 5 billion years).

When Hairy then asks how the stars are reacting (meaning how the ''movie stars'' are reacting to this news about the oceans), Megan instead replies that the stars are reacting with {{w|hydrogen fusion}}, the nuclear reaction of actual ''{{w|stars}}'' like the Sun, thus again ostensibly mistaking the intent of the question. All astronomical stars eventually {{w|Star#Collapse|die}} when there is not enough hydrogen (or other heavier atoms) to continue the fusion process that keeps the stars stable.

Hairy then clarifies that he (of course) meant the movie stars, but Megan keeps being bleak in her reporting as she notes that they also won't last forever, and by the way no one else will. She is of course right as eventually everyone dies{{Citation needed}}, just as the stars will eventually die, but of course much sooner for any living human, movie star or not. This reminding people that they will soon die is a common thing for xkcd, apart from the whole segment of [[:Category:Comics to make one feel old|comics to make one feel old]], there is a specific example in [[1393: Timeghost]] and even more so in [[926: Time Vulture]].

In the title text Hairy ask about the buzz about the film. The buzz here refers to ongoing discussion of the movie, analogous to a continuous humming sound. Megan exclaims that she hopes this buzz distracts people from the apparently grave news she has already reported.

Also, since "premiere" etymologically means "first", the title might be a pun on the comic number, which only consists of four ones (1111).

The joke of Megan answering a question in an interview in an unexpected manner was used again in [[1302: Year in Review]].

Megan had an existential crisis already in [[220: Philosophy]] and later again in [[1822: Existential Bug Reports]]. In the latter it was the Sun swallowing the Earth (not the oceans) that was her concern.

==Transcript==
:[The setting is a standard entertainment newscast. Hairy as the news anchor in the studio sits behind a desk, resting his hands on the desk, starts off the segment with an inset feed to the right where Megan can be seen in front of a crowd behind her. The title of this segment is shown below the feed.]
:Hairy: All Hollywood is in town for tonight's star-studded premiere! We go live to our reporter on the red carpet.
:Hairy: How do things look?
:Title: Red Carpet ''Report''

:[Megan switches to full-screen. Megan is standing in front of a full crowd of Cueball heads who are behind a line held up be sticks, one of which is visible behind her. She holds a large microphone up to her face.]
:Megan: Bleak.
:Megan: In 800 million years the aging, brightening Sun will boil away the oceans, and all this will be blowing sand.

:[Switch back to initial framing with Hairy moving his arms further away from himself and Megan now with the microphone visible.]
:Hairy: Oh. Um. ...Sounds pretty grim. How are the stars reacting?
:Megan: Hydrogen fusion. But it won't last forever.
:Hairy: I mean the ''movie'' stars.
:Megan: They won't last forever either. None of us will.
:Title: Red Carpet ''Report''

{{comic discussion}}

[[Category:Comics featuring Hairy]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Megan]]
[[Category:News anchor]]
[[Category:Astronomy]]
[[Category:Puns]]