explain xkcd - User contributions [en]

1826: Birdwatching

2017-05-22T00:42:45Z

Will X: /* Explanation */

{{comic
| number = 1826
| date = April 19, 2017
| title = Birdwatching
| image = birdwatching_small.png
| titletext = No, tell the park rangers to calm down, it's fine--I put a screen on the front. I just want to get the birds a little closer.
}}

==Explanation==
{{incomplete|Needs more information on birdwatching specifically about using binoculars vs. a superzoom (or just large zoom) camera, and if it is correct how the explanation say it is more difficult with the camera or if it is just an inexperienced Cueball that is the reason for the trouble.}}
In this comic [[Cueball]] and his [[1350:_Lorenz#Knit_Cap_Girl|friend with a knit cap]] are out birdwatching (hence the title). {{w|Birdwatching}} is an activity to observe birds. Usually this is done at a distance, as birds are flying in the air, and are far away. It is thus helpful to use {{w|binoculars}}.

Cueball's friend uses binoculars and manages to spot a {{w|hawk}} a mile up. Cueball, however, has brought his camera, probably his superzoom camera from [[1719: Superzoom]]. (He uses that again already two comics later in [[1828: ISS Solar Transit]]). But it is very difficult to find anything in such a camera if you zoom in first. And maybe Cueball is with his trained friend, out birdwatching for the first time. Cueball is frustrated and comments on the difficulty and is amazed his friend can spot birds over such distances.

Frustrated with his camera Cueball comes up with a solution, which is to use a {{w|vacuum cleaner}}, specifically a {{w|shop vac}}, to pull the birds in closer so he won't need the superzoom camera to see them (this he has just left on the ground next to the shop vac). This is physically impossible with such a small device. Even if the shop vac created a perfect vacuum, it can only pull out air at the speed of sound, which amounts to approximately 1 cubic meter per second considering the apparent size of the hose. This is not enough to create a significant amount of wind or affect the atmosphere. (Of course he may have borrowed it from his other friend [[Beret Guy]] who has many [[:Category:Strange powers of Beret Guy|strange powers]] that also extends to improving vacuum cleaners, which Cueball knows about as seen in [[1486: Vacuum]]).

Cueball's shop vac bird collector is similar in concept to [http://biostor.org/reference/76824/page/3 vacuum-based insect collectors] [http://media.nola.com/environment/photo/xuanchen1jpg-fca88349bf05fe83.jpg used by] [http://www.rinconvitova.com/d-vac.htm entomologists]. Cueball evidently thinks that a similar concept will work to easily collect birds.

The title text refers to {{w|park ranger}}s, officials in charge of security and after in National Parks, who would naturally be distressed by birds being forced to coalesce via an extremely powerful vacuum. If such a vacuum were created and used for this purpose, it probably would pose a threat to said birds. Cueball says he has solved this problem by placing a perforated screen in front. In doing so, he can safely attract the birds without trapping them inside the vacuum. He implies that this should remove the danger to the birds, which is not the case. While the birds can no longer enter the vacuum itself, having a large number of birds pulled into a (presumably small) screen would probably fare poorly for the birds, so Cueball's solution is rather poor.

When out birdwatching it is a great idea to have a silhouette chart to be able to recognize the birds by the shadow they make against the sky. Two comics before this one [[Randall]] made a comic with just such a chart, [[1824: Identification Chart]], although that was for combinations of birds and planes...

==Transcript==
:[Cueball and his friend with a knit cap are standing together looking up in the sky. Cueball holds a camera with a large lens down in front of him, and his friend holds binoculars down in front of him.]
:Cueball: Birdwatching is hard.
:Cueball: They're all way too small and far away.

:[In a frame-less panel they both raise their tool eyepieces to their eyes.]
:Cueball: That hawk is over a mile up! How did you even spot it?

:[Both lower their eyepiece again. The friend still looks up while Cueball looks down on his camera which he holds up in front of him. A black squiggly line above his head indicates that he is fuming over his camera's abilities.]

:[Cueball now has a vacuum cleaner with a big body and a large hose which he is pointing towards the sky, as air is visibly sucked in to the hose and the vacuum cleaner is making a very loud noise which extends beyond the frame of the panel.Cueball is holding one hand on the vacuum cleaner which has a label with its brand on it. Cueball's camera lies on the ground in front of the vacuum cleaner. The friend looks back at Cueball.]
:Vacuum cleaner: <big>'''''Whrrrrr'''''</big>
:Label: Shop Vac

==Trivia==
*This comic was originally published with a very large picture, much larger than the standard screen.
**The original image was named [https://imgs.xkcd.com/comics/birdwatching_huge.png birdwatching_huge.png]
**The image at that location has also been downsized to normal dimensions.
**It was later updated to use an image without the "_huge" in its name, at the usual size.
*The unexpected size was at first interpreted as being part of the joke, see the [[#Discussion|discussion page]].
**The idea was that the reader was only seeing an inconvenient subset of the magnified image on the screen, just like Cueball was experiencing an inconvenient subset of the magnified sky through the zoom of his camera lens.
**It seems, however, that it wasn't meant to be like this, as both the size and name of the image were later corrected.
*Alternatively the size gave people trouble with reading the page, and made Randall change his mind and reset it to normal size.
**It seems weird he would make a "_huge" version by mistake?
*The premise is similar to the {{w|Superman_(1940s_cartoons)|Fleischer Superman}} cartoon {{w|The Magnetic Telescope}}, where a mad scientist does essentially the same thing with comets.

{{comic discussion}}

[[Category:Comics featuring Cueball]]
[[Category:Characters with Hats]]
[[Category:Animals]]

User:Will X

2017-05-22T00:40:09Z

Will X:

I'm a huge XKCD fan. My favorite character is [[Black Hat]].

''The Chosen Toads are a trio of Toads imbued with god-like powers in Paper Mario: Color Splash. The red Toad calls himself Justice Toad, the blue Toad is unnamed, and the yellow Toad is known as the Mountain Sage.
Their purpose is to give Mario and Huey access to the Crimson Tower, however they are not immediately found at the gate of the tower. Instead, they are located in different areas that correspond to their color, and certain prerequisites must be fulfilled before Mario is given their help. Justice Toad is located in Cherry Lake, the unnamed blue Toad in Bloo Bay Beach, and the Mountain Sage in Daffodil Peak''

Talk:1826: Birdwatching

2017-04-19T11:24:36Z

Will X:

This is a big one.[[Special:Contributions/108.162.246.41|108.162.246.41]] 04:07, 19 April 2017 (UTC)

I wonder if the size is a technical error, or if I am missing some subtle joke. [[Special:Contributions/108.162.245.184|108.162.245.184]] 04:37, 19 April 2017 (UTC)

I guess it's the latter. [[Special:Contributions/162.158.166.71|162.158.166.71]] 04:39, 19 April 2017 (UTC)

I think the vacuum is a further joke about scale and distance playing on the absurdity of trying to vacuum from a range of one mile. I must say I don't really understand this comic very well.[[Special:Contributions/108.162.245.70|108.162.245.70]] 04:47, 19 April 2017 (UTC)

I thought the vacuum was trying to drain the atmosphere to make it so that the birds can't fly as high.[[User:1I1III1|1I1III1]] ([[User talk:1I1III1|talk]]) 05:42, 19 April 2017 (UTC)
: That was my thought, too. (/edit: Honestly, to think of sucking the birds in I found being too absurd, while sucking the atmosphere seemed absolutely plausible - at least for an XKCD...) [[User:Elektrizikekswerk|Elektrizikekswerk]] ([[User talk:Elektrizikekswerk|talk]]) 08:18, 19 April 2017 (UTC)

Are these the same birds from 1824? [[User:Codrus|Codrus]] ([[User talk:Codrus|talk]]) 06:16, 19 April 2017 (UTC)

Pretty sure the size is an error, I've seen this happen briefly before. It's 1200 dpi, suitable for archival, printing, or just what comes off the scanner [[Special:Contributions/108.162.246.107|108.162.246.107]] 09:04, 19 April 2017 (UTC)

Hey folks, am I the only one thinking that Cueball also holds the binoculars the wrong way around? Usually the small end is nearest to the eyes... That would for sure make birdwatching even MORE difficult. Regarding size, I think it is intentional.[[Special:Contributions/162.158.150.76|162.158.150.76]] 09:16, 19 April 2017 (UTC)
: Hey, that's a reflex camera, isn't it? Some camera geek can comment on birdwatching situation camera? That zoom seems much too small for the job, but I've got no real clue...--[[User:Blaisorblade|Blaisorblade]] ([[User talk:Blaisorblade|talk]]) 09:34, 19 April 2017 (UTC)

The size is intentional. it kinda freaked m out wen i saw it, though. i thought there was a problem with my phone! [[User:Will X|Will X]] ([[User talk:Will X|talk]]) 11:24, 19 April 2017 (UTC)

1826: Birdwatching

2017-04-19T11:23:38Z

Will X: /* Explanation */

Talk:1748: Future Archaeology

2016-10-20T18:13:54Z

Will X:

Second reference is actually to music video: [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OfhhWA9GF0M Aaron Carter - That's How I Beat Shaq]] [[Special:Contributions/141.101.98.5|141.101.98.5]] 04:11, 19 October 2016 (UTC)

Here I thought it was a reference to The Ultimate Showdown of Ultimate Destiny--[[Special:Contributions/108.162.226.115|108.162.226.115]] 04:25, 19 October 2016 (UTC)
:I made the same mistake! Had to recite the entire thing in my head to see if those two fought, then impressed myself with my memory of lyrics I hadn't heard since high school. [[Special:Contributions/173.245.48.87|173.245.48.87]] 04:51, 19 October 2016 (UTC)

"we do like our flood narratives" - the same day (or the day before?) a new what-if.xkcd (152) about flooding death valley was uploaded - the first for a while... [[Special:Contributions/162.158.86.29|162.158.86.29]] 08:18, 19 October 2016 (UTC)

:Thanks for telling me! New What-If? Sweet! [[User:Jacky720|Jacky720]] ([[User talk:Jacky720|talk]]) 10:52, 19 October 2016 (UTC)

;A rare type of series?
{sorry if it sounds dumb: first time here} Have any two consecutive xkcds ever been part of such a clear "series" without being labelled "part I", "part II", ...? Or is this a rare occurrence of such thing? In case, it should be mentioned in the trivia, maybe? [[Special:Contributions/141.101.98.70|141.101.98.70]] 08:04, 19 October 2016 (UTC)
:No it is interesting and not seen like this before --[[User:Kynde|Kynde]] ([[User talk:Kynde|talk]]) 19:28, 19 October 2016 (UTC)

Aaron who?
[[User:PoconoChuck|PoconoChuck]] ([[User talk:PoconoChuck|talk]]) 12:27, 19 October 2016 (UTC)

Someone should make a character page for the time traveler dot dude. This is at least the third time xe has appeared. [[Special:Contributions/173.245.48.69|173.245.48.69]] 13:15, 19 October 2016 (UTC)
:No. As noted in the previous comic there is no reason to assume that previous dots are the same. The Category should be deleted. But later when finding out if there are more than these two comics to come a series category should be created with a good name not this one that has been used: Category:Comics featuring the floating sphere from the future... --[[User:Kynde|Kynde]] ([[User talk:Kynde|talk]]) 19:28, 19 October 2016 (UTC)
;Which sounds more reasonable?

I think there's another layer to this comic not yet address by this page.

From Future Dot's perspective, a man building a boat to survive a flood sounds like a real event. A man challenging and defeating a God, less so.

However, in modern times, the story of Noah's Flood is widely regarded as a myth, while the music video is widely regarded as having actually happened.

I believe this comic is meant to make us ask "What stories that we dismiss as myths have a kernel, however small, of truth to them?".
[[Special:Contributions/108.162.237.84|108.162.237.84]] 14:49, 19 October 2016 (UTC)

So far the comics in this series have had the name pattern [noun] [field of science ending in -ology]. Too perfect to be a coincidence. [[User:CJB42|CJB42]] ([[User talk:CJB42|talk]]) 17:36, 19 October 2016 (UTC)

Anyone taking bets against Friday's comic is also in this series? ;-) --[[User:Kynde|Kynde]] ([[User talk:Kynde|talk]]) 19:28, 19 October 2016 (UTC)

So if I'm right, I believe there has not been any consecutive continuity in xkcd since [[:Category:The Race|The Race]], which ended a little over seven years ago.... [[User:Schiffy|Schiffy]] ([[User_talk:Schiffy|Speak to me]]|[[Special:Contributions/Schiffy|What I've done]]) 20:45, 19 October 2016 (UTC)
:Not unless you count the vague continuity in the five-minute-comic series.--[[User:KirkLand|KirkLand]] ([[User talk:KirkLand|talk]]) 22:16, 19 October 2016 (UTC)

Any chance the human characters were mistaken in interpreting Future Dot's flood story as Noah's? It seems possible - perhaps equally likely - that Future Dot had found 1190: Time. [[User:DemetriosBloodstone|DemetriosBloodstone]] ([[User talk:DemetriosBloodstone|talk]]) 03:43, 20 October 2016 (UTC)

:It's also possible that during the time, Noah's arch story and 1190: Time got mixed together (along with several other similar stories). -- [[User:Hkmaly|Hkmaly]] ([[User talk:Hkmaly|talk]]) 15:32, 20 October 2016 (UTC)

Note: There shouldn't be any bandwidth problem in future: Windows 3000 will likely require 1TB just for boot sector. The problem wouldn't be not enough information, but too much information with hardly any way to determine what was important. -- [[User:Hkmaly|Hkmaly]] ([[User talk:Hkmaly|talk]]) 15:32, 20 October 2016 (UTC)

;New character?

Should we consider the future organism a new character, since it has appeared in two '''consecutive''' strips.

[[User:Will X|Will X]] ([[User talk:Will X|talk]]) 18:13, 20 October 2016 (UTC)

Beret Guy

2016-09-07T11:52:46Z

Will X:

{{Infobox character
| image = Beret_Guy.png
| imagesize = 40px
| caption = Beret guy, as seen in [[1117: My Sky]]
| first_appearance = [[167: Nihilism]]
}}
'''Beret Guy''' is a [[stick figure]] character in [[xkcd]]. He is distinguished by his white beret.

==Characteristics==
Beret Guy is an optimist, and sometimes a naive one (although he is rarely a victim in the strip). He is a funny and sometimes even borderline cute character, and when he is in the strip is usually the basis of that strip's joke. He enjoys philosophizing, often taking the role of the {{w|existentialist}}. He has a very surreal side to him, often thinking about or being involved in bizarre situations. He also is shown to take things far too literally, sometimes making things surreal.

He has been quite fascinated with bakeries as in [[434: xkcd Goes to the Airport]] and [[442: xkcd Loves the Discovery Channel]], in particular with {{w|scone}}s (see [[452: Mission]] as well as the title text of [[677: Asshole]] and [[1030: Keyed]].)

Beret Guy had a steady job as a bartender in three comics [[328: Eggs]], [[474: Turn-On]], and [[712: Single Ladies]]. However, in later comics, he apparently quit his job to become a "business professional", according to [[1032: Networking]]. There are many comics where he has unusual, impossible, or completely unnecessary jobs, like he has in [[1117: My Sky]]. See all comics about [[:Category:Beret Guy's Business|Beret Guy's Business]]. He apparently makes a load of money from doing this, but has no reasons other than the fact that he is "a business grown-up who makes business profits". He appears again, now with his own "real building he found" in [[1293: Job Interview]]. In [[1493: Meeting]], his business returns again, this time with a name ([http://CompanyName.website/ CompanyName.website]) and a no explanation from Sales, run by [[Ponytail]], for how it makes money ("Money keeps appearing, but we have no idea how or why."). At this time, it is still massively successful, somehow. As of [[1533: Antique Factory]] it seems Beret Guy has reorganized his business and branched out from his technology area of expertise, and operating what he refers to as an antique factory. In reality, the factory is simply a room with furniture in it where Beret Guy waits as the items age.

Beret Guy also seems to be a miracle maker - see a list of the [[:Category:Strange powers of Beret Guy|strange powers of Beret Guy]]. In [[1099: Tuesdays]], he grows "endless wings" and in the aforementioned [[1293: Job Interview]], he seems to be pouring soup from an electrical socket, as well as in [[1486: Vacuum]], where he misinterprets quantum physics and manages to get unlimited power from a vacuum cleaner. In [[1490: Atoms]], he appears to have a supernatural ability to see individual atoms (or at least the atomic make-up of items) and his mother seems to have had an unexplained amount of plutonium in her body. However, Beret Guy seems to have no doubt that these events are perfectly normal; in fact, he just seems to accept them as they are without question.

In the What if? [https://what-if.xkcd.com/6/ Glass Half Empty], he seems to be quite oblivious to pain, especially about foreign objects sticking into his head. This may explain why we never see him without his beret as it may have been stapled to his head - see title text of [[291: Dignified]]. Said comics also speculates he might have been born by Caesarean section.

In the What if? [http://what-if.xkcd.com/147/ Niagara Straw], he appears in the last comic, going down a relativistic stream of water, oblivious to the fact that said stream of water was destroying the world, in a barrel.

To sum up, Beret Guy is a very naive man with the strange superpower of having the world around him acting according to his naive vision.

He shares several traits with Beriah from [http://www.meninhats.com/ Men in Hats], as [[Black Hat]] does with Aram from the same series, but in contrast to the latter, this doesn't appear to have been officially acknowledged.

He may also have a relative in [[1190: Time#Plot|Beret Girl]].
In [[1608: Hoverboard]] he is shown riding a torpedo launched from a [[w/Star Destroyer]] towards the rebel ship below. He shouts 'Horsey' and seems unaware of the destruction these torpedoes are causing.

See also: [[:Category:Comics featuring Beret Guy]].

{{navbox-characters}}
[[Category:Characters]]
[[Category:Characters with Hats]]

Miss Lenhart

2016-09-07T11:47:36Z

Will X:

{{Infobox character
| image = Miss_lenhart.png
| caption = Miss Lenhart from comic [[499: Scantron]].
| first_appearance = [[135: Substitute]] (mentioned only)
}}

'''Miss Lenhart''' is the go-to character when [[Randall Munroe|Randall]] needs a teacher. She has white hair of shoulder length.

Miss Lenhart is usually named when she appears; however Randall uses her visual appearance from time to time, making it open for interpretation whether it's Miss Lenhart or not. The aimless student in [[59: Graduation]] could for example be a young Miss Lenhart.

At [[704: Principle of Explosion]] she is Mrs. Lenhart, but maybe this character is just the mom of Miss Lenhart.

The Lenhart family is mentioned in [[416: Zealous Autoconfig]], and in [[1519: Venus]], a teacher that looks just like her confirms that she is retiring in a month (in this comic she is not named though).

{{navbox-characters}}

499: Scantron

2016-09-07T11:46:31Z

Will X: /* Explanation */

{{comic
| number = 499
| date = November 3, 2008
| title = Scantron
| image = scantron.png
| titletext = Also, after all the warnings about filling in the bubbles completely, I spent like 30 seconds on each one.
}}

==Explanation==
This comic is a take on the instructions "Remember to use a #2 pencil on the Scantron" that most modern students have heard something approaching a billion times. {{w|Scantron}}s are standardized {{w|Machine-readable data|machine-readable papers}} used by students to answer multiple-choice tests. Often, the instructor will remind students to use a #2 pencil, which is the US term for the {{w|pencil hardness}} HB. HB pencils use a medium-hardness graphite considered ideal for Scantron use because the graphite is soft enough to leave a dark mark but hard enough to not smudge, both aspects that improve the performance of machine-readable paper. [[Miss Lenhart]] seems to have given her class one of these tests.

The joke is that the student used a #3 pencil, which has a slightly harder graphite rating, on the Scantron as opposed to a #2 pencil. Instructors and examiners usually place great emphasis on using a #2 pencil, as if not using one would lead to dire consequences. The comic jokingly suggests that these consequences would include causing the grading machine to explode, harming people nearby.

The title text refers to the instruction to "fill in all the bubbles completely." This again improves the performance of machine-readable paper. [[Randall]] states that he spent an inordinate amount of time making sure his markings were perfect because he had been warned so many times to do so, but five seconds are usually enough.

==Transcript==
:[A classroom scene. There are two desks, and the front one is occupied by the student. Miss Lenhart stands panel right facing the student.]
:Miss Lenhart: Okay class, I've turned in your exams for grading. Now—
:Student: Miss Lenhart?

:[View is now simply student in desk and teacher. Teacher looks horrified.]
:Student: I used a #3 pencil instead of a #2. Will that mess anything up?
:Miss Lenhart: You '''WHAT?'''

:[Teacher stands, covering her head, in front of an off-panel right explosion. The unseen speaker is off-panel right.]
:''AIEEE''
:'''''BLAM'''''
:Unseen speaker: OH GOD!

:[The student and teacher are left-panel, both looking shocked. The unseen speaker is still off-panel right.]
:Unseen speaker: OH GOD! I've never seen so much blood!

{{comic discussion}}
[[Category:Comics featuring Miss Lenhart]]

499: Scantron

2016-09-07T11:45:58Z

Will X: /* Explanation */

{{comic
| number = 499
| date = November 3, 2008
| title = Scantron
| image = scantron.png
| titletext = Also, after all the warnings about filling in the bubbles completely, I spent like 30 seconds on each one.
}}

==Explanation==
This comic is a take on the instructions "Remember to use a #2 pencil on the Scantron" that most modern students have heard something approaching a billion times. {{w|Scantron}}s are standardized {{w|Machine-readable data|machine-readable papers}} used by students to answer multiple-choice tests. Often, the instructor will remind students to use a #2 pencil, which is the US term for the {{w|pencil hardness}} HB. HB pencils use a medium-hardness graphite considered ideal for Scantron use because the graphite is soft enough to leave a dark mark but hard enough to not smudge, both aspects that improve the performance of machine-readable paper. [[Ms. Lenhart]] seems to have given her class one of these tests.

The joke is that the student used a #3 pencil, which has a slightly harder graphite rating, on the Scantron as opposed to a #2 pencil. Instructors and examiners usually place great emphasis on using a #2 pencil, as if not using one would lead to dire consequences. The comic jokingly suggests that these consequences would include causing the grading machine to explode, harming people nearby.

The title text refers to the instruction to "fill in all the bubbles completely." This again improves the performance of machine-readable paper. [[Randall]] states that he spent an inordinate amount of time making sure his markings were perfect because he had been warned so many times to do so, but five seconds are usually enough.

==Transcript==
:[A classroom scene. There are two desks, and the front one is occupied by the student. Miss Lenhart stands panel right facing the student.]
:Miss Lenhart: Okay class, I've turned in your exams for grading. Now—
:Student: Miss Lenhart?

:[View is now simply student in desk and teacher. Teacher looks horrified.]
:Student: I used a #3 pencil instead of a #2. Will that mess anything up?
:Miss Lenhart: You '''WHAT?'''

:[Teacher stands, covering her head, in front of an off-panel right explosion. The unseen speaker is off-panel right.]
:''AIEEE''
:'''''BLAM'''''
:Unseen speaker: OH GOD!

:[The student and teacher are left-panel, both looking shocked. The unseen speaker is still off-panel right.]
:Unseen speaker: OH GOD! I've never seen so much blood!

{{comic discussion}}
[[Category:Comics featuring Miss Lenhart]]

1730: Starshade

2016-09-07T11:37:28Z

Will X: /* Explanation */

{{comic
| number = 1730
| date = September 7, 2016
| title = Starshade
| image = starshade.png
| titletext = The New Worlds Mission is already trying to get funding for this, but NASA sponsored their proposal, so it will be hard to catch the telescope people by surprise with it.
}}

==Explanation==
{{incomplete|.}} [[Megan]] and [[Ponytail]] are talking about a Space Telescope. Megan says that NASA could use opaque discs to block out light from stars to look for exoplanets. She goes on to say that they thought about including one with the Webb Telescope, but cut it for budget reasons. However, Ponytail decides to raise funds to ''build'' Nasa a disc, but declines to warn them. The final panel is a shot from a NASA control center in 2018. [[Cueball]] is surprised by the disc, but [[Hair Bun Girl]] notices exoplanets, implying that Ponytail's plan worked.

==Transcript==
{{incomplete transcript}}

[Megan and Ponytail are talking.]

Megan: Space telescopes could see exoplanets better if they used free-floating opaque discs to block the stars' glare.

Megan: They thought about including one with the Webb telescope, but cut it to save money.

Ponytail: Well... does it have to be ''their'' disc?

Megan: What do you mean?

Ponytail: Like, if I Kickstart a starshade for them?

Megan: Um. Would you at least ''warn'' them?

Ponytail: Eh. Whatever.

NASA, 2018:

[Two NASA scientists are working at their desks.]

NASA scientist 1: Initiating Webb calibrat- ''AAAAA''! What the hell is ''that''!?

NASA scientist 2: Hey, look, exoplanets!

{{comic discussion}}

1730: Starshade

2016-09-07T11:05:46Z

Will X: /* Explanation */

Talk:Jill

2016-09-03T12:15:22Z

Will X: Created page with "Maybe she is Black Hat's daughter? ~"

Maybe she is [[Black Hat|Black Hat's]] daughter?
~

1617: Time Capsule

2016-08-16T02:07:00Z

Will X: /* Explanation */

{{comic
| number = 1617
| date = December 16, 2015
| title = Time Capsule
| image = time_capsule.png
| titletext = Oh no, I changed the future and now I'm disappearing! Wait, never mind, it was just my hat slipping down over my eyes.
}}

==Explanation==
[[Cueball]] is watching [[Ponytail]] who has unearthed a {{w|time capsule}}, that must have been buried in the ground many years ago.

A time capsule is a historic cache of goods or information, usually intended as a method of communication with future people and to help future archaeologists, anthropologists or historians.

However, when she manages to open the capsule [[Beret Guy]] turns out to have been hiding inside while the capsule has been buried. It turns out that he has mixed up the purpose of a {{w|Time travel|time machine}} and a time capsule; when Ponytail asks him where he came from he tells her: ''The past! I traveled here in this time machine.''

He cannot explain how he got there, but he claims that he could not have prevented it. This is a reference to the fact that you cannot avoid being pushed forward through time, see [[1524: Dimensions]]. Beret Guy has also previously traveled to the future in a similar manner, see [[209: Kayak]].

Beret Guy claims he has been eating newspapers to survive; newspaper clippings are a stereotype content of time capsules. He also managed to live underground in the time capsule, which would typically be an airtight sealed box, for what must be assumed to be at least several years. Although some time capsules are meant to be opened after just a few years (10 or 25 years for instance) the plan should be that it is not opened for at least several years after it is created. So this comic is one more example of the [[:Category:Strange powers of Beret Guy|strange powers of Beret Guy]] - i.e. living by eating paper and without breathing oxygen. But he has before displayed patience enough to sit still for five years in [[1088: Five Years]].

Beret Guy mentions he got inside his "time machine" to attempt an assassination of {{w|Adolf Hitler}} (using the hammer he is holding). Traveling to the past in a time machine to assassinate Hitler is a common trope in speculative fiction, as a way to try to prevent the {{w|second world war}} - however the scheme only works via travel into the past, to some time before Hitler rose to power and started the war, rather than "into the future" as Beret Guy did. Of course, when Beret Guy entered the "time machine" Hitler may still have been alive. If it was realized early enough what kind of threat Hitler was posing a plan could have been devised, where Beret Guys traveled to a future time where it would become possible to kill Hitler, and where it would still make a difference if he did (however, it would have been more practical to just wait, though Beret Guy is never practical).

Since he did not travel into the past, but forward in time by letting time pass normally, and since he did not get out until long after Hitler's demise, Ponytail can tell him that Hitler has been dead for a long time (70 years at the time of the comic's release). So if the capsule was opened on the day of the release of the comic, then he was 70 years too late. But of course the comic could be set at any time after the war, also in the future, as long as it would make sense to say that Hitler died long ago.

The fact that Hitler is already dead does not bother Beret Guy, on the contrary he is pleased, as he just realizes his job has already been done. What he thus fails to realize, is that he was probably supposed to kill Hitler before he got the second world war started. This was the same type of failure made by [[Black Hat]] in [[1063: Kill Hitler]]. Black Hat did actually travel 67 years back in time and killed Hitler, sadly it was in the last days of the war in 1945 just before Hitler would have died anyway, so it had no effect on history either, and the time machine was a one shot thing.

When he finds out that his job is done he asks Ponytail if they should get some sandwiches. It is a known feature of Beret Guy that he likes bakers and bread, though not specifically sandwiches. Realizing he is in the future he suddenly becomes aware that this concept may have been forgotten, and he asks if they still exist in this future. This is a reference to another comic where Megan has traveled through time in the same way as Beret Guy; see [[630: Time Travel]]. It may also be a reference to the new version of [http://memory-alpha.wikia.com/wiki/Montgomery_Scott_%28alternate_reality%29 Star Trek], in which Scotty's response to learning someone is from the future is "Do they still have sandwiches there?"

In the title text Beret Guy becomes afraid that he will now disappear because he has changed the future in a way so he would no longer exist. A typical example would be to go back and kill your parents before you were born (or just prevent them from falling in love as in the movie ''{{w|Back to the Future}}''). This creates a {{w|Grandfather paradox|paradox}} where you will never be born, and thus cease to exist. Of course the paradox is that you could thus not have prevented your birth in the first place, if you did not already exist. (Another good example of how this might feel is displayed in the movie {{w|Timecop}}).

However, it turns out that in Beret Guy's case it was only his sight that was "disappearing", and that was only because his beret had fallen over his eyes. In any case the fear is baseless since he only traveled forward in time, not backwards, and thus could not have changed his own past.

Time machines have been referenced in many xkcd comics, see the [[:Category:Time travel|Time travel category]].

==Transcript==
:[Cueball is watching and Ponytail is about to open a time capsule that has just been dug out. A shovel is stuck in the ground next to a heap of dirt on the right side of a hole in the ground. Cueball is standing on the other side and Ponytail is in the hole, proceeding to lift up the lid of the box that makes up the time capsule.]
:Ponytail: All right, let's open the time capsule.

:[Slight zoom in on Ponytail and the box, without Cueball but still the shovel and dirt, when Beret Guy comes out of the capsule looking up at Ponytail who takes a step back up.]
:Beret Guy: Hi!
:Ponytail: Where did you come from?!
:Beret Guy: The past! I traveled here in this time machine.

:[Frame widens to include Cueball, in the same position as in the first frame. Ponytail relaxes a little and Beret Guy turns in the capsule to face Cueball.]
:Cueball: How did you... '''''get''''' here from the past?
:Beret Guy: I dunno. I couldn't '''''not'''''.
:Cueball: But... what did you ''eat?''
:Beret Guy: Newspapers, mostly.

:[Zoom in again in a bigger frame with Ponytail and the capsule, shovel and dirt. Beret Guy faces her again, but now he is holding a hammer.]
:Beret Guy: Anyway, I'm here to kill Hitler.
:Ponytail: But he died long ago!
:Beret Guy: Oh, good! That was easy.
:Beret Guy: Want to get sandwiches?
:Beret Guy: Do you still have sandwiches?

{{comic discussion}}
[[Category:Comics featuring Cueball]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Ponytail]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Beret Guy]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Hitler]]
[[Category:Strange powers of Beret Guy]]
[[Category:Time travel]]

Category:Strange powers of Beret Guy

2016-08-16T02:05:25Z

Will X: /* List of abilities */

[[Beret Guy]] is a very strange person. Sometimes he takes these strange tendencies into the supernatural. In the early comics he was more just a strange and naive guy. There is an early start to the strangeness, but that power could also be attributed to [[Cueball]] (at least it is a shared power) in [[248]].

After comic [[1099]], Beret Guy begins to appear frequently with these strange powers, typically not related to each other, except that he has some issues with electrical sockets and power cords as seen in [[1293]] and [[1395]]. (See also [[509: Induced Current]] and the title text of [[614: Woodpecker]], regarding power cords, but not these strange powers.)

Here is a list of the comics where Beret Guy displays strange powers that are beyond the realm of possibility.

==List of abilities==
#[[248]]: Manages to create a hypothetical situation (trapping him and his friend).
#[[452]]: Able to eat lug nuts with no apparent damage to himself.
#[[1088]]: Capable of waiting in he same place for five years, presumably without sustenance
#[[1099]]: He has infinite wings.
#[[1135]]: Makes spiders weave him a shirt.
#[[1158]]: Creates rope to pull & release ball via his imagination.
#[[1293]]: Pours soup from power socket.
#[[1388]]: Subducts through the floor to form mountains in his room.
#[[1395]]: Inflates a laptop through a power cord so that it floats like a helium balloon.
#[[1422]]: Makes a phone with an old battery behave like a dying star.
#[[1486]]: Uses the vacuum energy to fly and "gain unlimited power" with a vacuum cleaner.
#[[1490]]: Sees the individual atoms, and can distinguish the different elements. But he cannot see what they are actually a part of, like a human or a dog.
#[[1522]]: Can examine life on exoplanets around distant stars through a magnifying glass just by standing on a ladder.
#[[1614]]: A little less clear what his powers are in this. But first he is walking a flying/floating dog, and then he returns flying on (or as) a kite, while the dog holds on to the line of the kite.
#[[1617]]: Living by eating newspaper and without breathing oxygen for several years in a sealed and buried box.

[[Category:Comics by topic]]

Beret Guy

2016-08-16T02:04:12Z

Will X:

{{Infobox character
| image = Beret_Guy.png
| imagesize = 40px
| caption = Beret guy, as seen in [[1117: My Sky]]
| first_appearance = [[167: Nihilism]]
}}
'''Beret Guy''' is a [[stick figure]] character in [[xkcd]]. He is distinguished by his white beret.

==Characteristics==
Beret Guy is an optimist, and sometimes a naive one (although he is rarely a victim in the strip). He is a funny and sometimes even borderline cute character, and when he is in the strip is usually the basis of that strip's joke. He enjoys philosophizing, often taking the role of the {{w|existentialist}}. He has a very surreal side to him, often thinking about or being involved in bizarre situations. He also is shown to take things far too literally, sometimes making things surreal.

He has been quite fascinated with bakeries as in [[434: xkcd Goes to the Airport]] and [[442: xkcd Loves the Discovery Channel]], in particular with {{w|scone}}s (see [[452: Mission]] as well as the title text of [[677: Asshole]] and [[1030: Keyed]].)

Beret Guy had a steady job as a bartender in three comics [[328: Eggs]], [[474: Turn-On]], and [[712: Single Ladies]]. However, in later comics, he apparently quit his job to become a "business professional", according to [[1032: Networking]]. There are many comics where he has unusual, impossible, or completely unnecessary jobs, like he has in [[1117: My Sky]]. See all comics about [[:Category:Beret Guy's Business|Beret Guy's Business]]. He apparently makes a load of money from doing this, but has no reasons other than the fact that he is "a business grown-up who makes business profits". He appears again, now with his own "real building he found" in [[1293: Job Interview]]. In [[1493: Meeting]], his business returns again, this time with a name ([http://CompanyName.website/ CompanyName.website]) and a no explanation from Sales, run by [[Ponytail]], for how it makes money ("Money keeps appearing, but we have no idea how or why."). At this time, it is still massively successful, somehow. As of [[1533: Antique Factory]] it seems Beret Guy has reorganized his business and branched out from his technology area of expertise, and operating what he refers to as an antique factory. In reality, the factory is simply a room with furniture in it where Beret Guy waits as the items age.

Beret Guy also seems to be a miracle maker - see a list of the [[:Category:Strange powers of Beret Guy|strange powers of Beret Guy]]. In [[1099: Tuesdays]], he grows "endless wings" and in the aforementioned [[1293: Job Interview]], he seems to be pouring soup from an electrical socket, as well as in [[1486: Vacuum]], where he misinterprets quantum physics and manages to get unlimited power from a vacuum cleaner. In [[1490: Atoms]], he appears to have a supernatural ability to see individual atoms (or at least the atomic make-up of items) and his mother seems to have had an unexplained amount of plutonium in her body. However, Beret Guy seems to have no doubt that these events are perfectly normal; in fact, he just seems to accept them as they are without question.

In the What if? [https://what-if.xkcd.com/6/ Glass Half Empty], he seems to be quite oblivious to pain, especially about foreign objects sticking into his head. This may explain why we never see him without his beret as it may have been stapled to his head - see title text of [[291: Dignified]]. Said comics also speculates he might have been born by Caesarean section.

In the What if? [http://what-if.xkcd.com/147/ Niagara Straw], he appears in the last comic, going down a relativistic stream of water, oblivious to the fact that said stream of water was destroying the world, in a barrel.

To sum up, Beret Guy is a very naive man with the strange superpower of having the world around him acting according to his naive vision.

He shares several traits with Beriah from [http://www.meninhats.com/ Men in Hats], as [[Black Hat]] does with Aram from the same series, but in contrast to the latter, this doesn't appear to have been officially acknowledged.

He may also have a relative in [[1190: Time#Plot|Beret Girl]].

See also: [[:Category:Comics featuring Beret Guy]].

{{navbox-characters}}
[[Category:Characters]]
[[Category:Characters with Hats]]

Beret Guy

2016-08-16T02:03:31Z

Will X: /* Characteristics */

{{Infobox character
| image = Beret_Guy.png
| imagesize = 40px
| caption = Beret guy, as seen in [[1117: My Sky]]
| first_appearance = [[167: Nihilism]]
}}
'''Beret Guy''' is a [[stick figure]] character in [[xkcd]]. He is distinguished by his white beret.

==Characteristics==
Beret Guy is an optimist, and sometimes a naive one (although he is rarely a victim in the strip). He is a funny and sometimes even borderline cute character, and when he is in the strip is usually the basis of that strip's joke. He enjoys philosophizing, often taking the role of the {{w|existentialist}}. He has a very surreal side to him, often thinking about or being involved in bizarre situations. He also is shown to take things far too literally, sometimes making things surreal.

He has been quite fascinated with bakeries as in [[434: xkcd Goes to the Airport]] and [[442: xkcd Loves the Discovery Channel]], in particular with {{w|scone}}s (see [[452: Mission]] as well as the title text of [[677: Asshole]] and [[1030: Keyed]].)

Beret Guy had a steady job as a bartender in three comics [[328: Eggs]], [[474: Turn-On]], and [[712: Single Ladies]]. However, in later comics, he apparently quit his job to become a "business professional", according to [[1032: Networking]]. There are many comics where he has unusual, impossible, or completely unnecessary jobs, like he has in [[1117: My Sky]]. See all comics about [[:Category:Beret Guy's Business|Beret Guy's Business]]. He apparently makes a load of money from doing this, but has no reasons other than the fact that he is "a business grown-up who makes business profits". He appears again, now with his own "real building he found" in [[1293: Job Interview]]. In [[1493: Meeting]], his business returns again, this time with a name ([http://CompanyName.website/ CompanyName.website]) and a no explanation from Sales, run by {{Ponytail]], for how it makes money ("Money keeps appearing, but we have no idea how or why."). At this time, it is still massively successful, somehow. As of [[1533: Antique Factory]] it seems Beret Guy has reorganized his business and branched out from his technology area of expertise, and operating what he refers to as an antique factory. In reality, the factory is simply a room with furniture in it where Beret Guy waits as the items age.

Beret Guy also seems to be a miracle maker - see a list of the [[:Category:Strange powers of Beret Guy|strange powers of Beret Guy]]. In [[1099: Tuesdays]], he grows "endless wings" and in the aforementioned [[1293: Job Interview]], he seems to be pouring soup from an electrical socket, as well as in [[1486: Vacuum]], where he misinterprets quantum physics and manages to get unlimited power from a vacuum cleaner. In [[1490: Atoms]], he appears to have a supernatural ability to see individual atoms (or at least the atomic make-up of items) and his mother seems to have had an unexplained amount of plutonium in her body. However, Beret Guy seems to have no doubt that these events are perfectly normal; in fact, he just seems to accept them as they are without question.

In the What if? [https://what-if.xkcd.com/6/ Glass Half Empty], he seems to be quite oblivious to pain, especially about foreign objects sticking into his head. This may explain why we never see him without his beret as it may have been stapled to his head - see title text of [[291: Dignified]]. Said comics also speculates he might have been born by Caesarean section.

In the What if? [http://what-if.xkcd.com/147/ Niagara Straw], he appears in the last comic, going down a relativistic stream of water, oblivious to the fact that said stream of water was destroying the world, in a barrel.

To sum up, Beret Guy is a very naive man with the strange superpower of having the world around him acting according to his naive vision.

He shares several traits with Beriah from [http://www.meninhats.com/ Men in Hats], as [[Black Hat]] does with Aram from the same series, but in contrast to the latter, this doesn't appear to have been officially acknowledged.

He may also have a relative in [[1190: Time#Plot|Beret Girl]].

See also: [[:Category:Comics featuring Beret Guy]].

{{navbox-characters}}
[[Category:Characters]]
[[Category:Characters with Hats]]

1493: Meeting

2016-08-16T02:01:05Z

Will X: /* Explanation */

{{comic
| number = 1493
| date = March 2, 2015
| title = Meeting
| image = meeting.png
| titletext = Here at CompanyName.website, our three main strengths are our web-facing chairs, our huge collection of white papers, and the fact that we physically cannot die.
}}

==Explanation==
[[Beret Guy]]'s business, as previously seen in [[1032: Networking]] and [[1293: Job Interview]], is going well, although it is unclear why. The common theme in these three comics is that Beret Guy misuses common business cliches. The following are examples and phrases that [[Randall]] is likely making a joke about:

*"If you're reading this, the webserver was installed correctly." When a web server is installed automatically (like Apache through a package manager), it typically comes with a minimal configuration meant to deliver a single page saying all is working fine. Usually, a company will then configure the web server to provide actual meaningful content. It appears that in this case Beret Guy's company kept the page as is, but also trademarked the sentence as the company's motto, and proudly displays it under the company logo.

*"CompanyName.website": Companies are usually given descriptive or evocative names; Beret Guy's company, meanwhile, has been given a generic placeholder name that explains nothing about the company or website except that it is a company with a website. In 2015, almost every middle-sized company runs a website, so it doesn't mean Beret Guy's company is in the information technology business (but many elements are specifically parodying Google).

*"Welcome to a meeting!" The usual way to start a meeting is to welcome the participants by telling them in which meeting they are (e.g. "Welcome to the meeting on..."). Here, the complete lack of specifics in this sentence is an indication that the meeting has, in fact, no purpose at all, except to be just "A meeting". It could also mean that Beret Guy does not know the proper way to welcome people to a meeting.

*"I'm almost out of words so I'll keep this short." A common theme in the busy world of business is lack of time, so "I'm almost out of time" would be a valid reason for keeping a meeting short, rather than a finite quantity of words. Aside from the fiction movie {{w|A Thousand Words (film)|A Thousand Words}} or people taking a {{w|Vow of Silence}}, people usually don't have a particular quota on the number of words they have or can use. Beret Guy also seems to run out of words in the title text of [[1560: Bubblegum]].

*"Just wanna touch bases." Often business professions will contact a customer to "touch base," meaning to check in for a status update. The use of the plural "bases" suggests Beret Guy does not know what this means. This could also be a word play on the expression "Cover some bases".

*"Self-driving car project" Google has been working on {{w|self-driving cars}}, which usually shouldn't be lost track of and found by the police. The fact that it was launched "by accident" is concerning. It could mean the car was turned on by mistake and then left unattended, or perhaps that a driver of one of their cars fell asleep or otherwise stopped controlling the vehicle, but it is not clear because the accidental launch may refer to the project itself rather than the car. The involvement of the police implies that the car crashed or otherwise obstructed traffic. That said, 90 miles before crash is a good result for a self-driving car, especially when you didn't even know you built a self-driving car. What's especially ironic is the implication that the employees were carpooling (sharing a single vehicle for their commute, for reasons of efficiency/economy) in the self-driving car, and yet this carpool activity ended with the car setting off with nobody in it at all. These types of car was the topic of the later comic [[1559: Driving]], maybe misusing one of Beret Guy's cars. Self-driving cars is a [[:Category:Self-driving cars|recurring topic]] on xkcd.

*"Sales, any luck figuring out who our customers are?" In the real world, when companies want to find out "who [their] customers are", they are talking about learning more about their existing customers in order to more closely match these customers' needs, and to discover ways to attract more of them. Here, Beret Guy and [[Ponytail]] apparently use the phrase literally - they have no records of making any sales. In a normal enterprise money doesn't usually appear from nowhere,{{Citation needed}} and most businesses would be very unsettled if their cash flow was from an unknown source. Additionally, the company would not be able to comply with government regulations that require it to report information regarding its income for tax purposes. In addition to being fined for failure to properly report its income, the company would be investigated as a suspected money laundering enterprise.

*"Cool red beetle in the hallway" Beret Guy might be referring to seeing an insect. But given his continually surreal world, he might have instead seen a red Volkswagen Beetle, meaning there is an actual car in the hallway. This also matches with the "self-driving car project", potentially explaining why the car is inside the building. Randall's all-caps lettering hides the "beetle" versus "Beetle" distinction.

*"Bug tracker" usually refers to systems for tracking discovery, analysis, and fixing of software bugs (errors and problems), not the location of physical objects (be they insects or Volkswagen Beetles which are nicknamed "bugs").

*"Web-facing" (title text) usually refers to software or a server that is connected to the internet using a web interface. However, in this case the term is applied to chairs placed in front of a computer with internet browsing capability.

*"White papers" (title text) are usually policy recommendations, but here Beret Guy is likely talking about actual (near-worthless) blank white pieces of paper.

*"Main strengths" (title text) typically refer to one's skills, but "we physically cannot die" refers to the fact that incorporated companies are in a sense anthropomorphised — they're legally treated as "persons", with the ability to sue and be sued in civil courts. Or that Beret Guy and his employees are literally immortal, in which case that would indeed be a great asset which could be used in a variety of ways, from things like making an unstoppable army (though they could still be captured or incapacitated) to investing for a long long time. On that note, if Beret Guy IS immortal, perhaps many (many) years ago (before his mind got wonky?) he might have invested a lot of money and is finally noticing the large amount of interest that has accrued. This would partly explain why there is lots of money coming in without any customers.

==Transcript==
:[Beret Guy is shown in silhouette. Above Beret Guy there is a black sign with white (and grey) text. Above this is his address to those in the meeting:]
:Beret Guy: Welcome to a meeting! I'm almost out of words, so I'll keep this short. Just wanna touch bases.
:[White text in the black sign (''.website'' in grey):]
:CompanyName.website
:''If you're reading this, the web''
:''server was installed correctly.™''

:[Beret Guy stands in front of an office chair and a table talking.]
:Beret Guy: First, a few updates. We've learned from the state police that the self-driving car project we launched by accident during this morning's carpool has come to an end about 90 miles outside of town. Very exciting!

:[Pony tail sits at the table.]
:Beret Guy [off-panel]: Profits are up. Sales, any luck figuring out who our customers are?
:Ponytail: Nope. Money keeps appearing, but we have no idea how or why.
:Beret Guy [off-panel]: Great!

:[Back to the situation from frame two.]
:Beret Guy: Oh, and one last thing—I saw a cool red beetle in the hall. Can someone add it to the bug tracker?
:[person off-panel]: Just did!
:Beret Guy: Thanks!

==Trivia==
"CompanyName.website" is actually a domain name that was registered on 2014-11-20 and [http://companyname.website which redirects to xkcd.com]. Presumably, it is owned by Randall, for the same reason as in [[305]].

{{comic discussion}}
[[Category:Comics featuring Beret Guy]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Ponytail]]
[[Category:Beret Guy's Business]]
[[Category:Self-driving cars]]

1715: Household Tips

2016-08-16T01:56:19Z

Will X: /* Explanation */

{{comic
| number = 1715
| date = August 3, 2016
| title = Household Tips
| image = household_tips.png
| titletext = To make your shoes feel more comfortable, smell better, and last longer, try taking them off before you shower.
}}

==Explanation==
This comic is a continuation of [[1567: Kitchen Tips]], which had four kitchen tips and then a household tip in the title text.

The comic shows [[Cueball]] explaining many things one should already know (and are likely already doing without needing to be told), but telling them like most people usually never do it to comedic effect. Below is a list of the five household tips given:

=== In the bathroom ===

'''To conserve water, try turning off your shower before leaving home''': Implies that the shower would "normally" be on at all times, which would be very wasteful. The [[what if?]] article "{{what if|91|Faucet Power}}" illustrates similar wasteful and destructive water use. This may be a reference to the common recommendation that people should unplug appliances when they are not in use, as opposed to simply turning them off, as some devices have a "standby" mode that still uses up a small amount of electricity.

=== Extinguishing fires ===

'''Sick of changing those smoke detector batteries? Eliminate any fires in your house and the batteries may last for months or years!''': A smoke detector on standby consumes much less power than one constantly ringing, since standing by only requires that a detection circuit (which draws little current) be on and an LED flashes a few times a minute (which also consumes very little power), while a buzzer used to sound the alarm uses much energy by comparison. The sentence implies that some people have their fire alarms beeping at all times due to their ongoing fires, and then stop up to change the batteries when they stop working. It is surreal that Cueball would have fires just around his house and not be remotely worried.

Of course, keeping one's house fire-free at (mostly) all times is usually done because of other benefits than just saving on batteries, such as preventing fire and smoke damage to valuable property, infrastructure, and human bodies, as well as keeping the noise level down.

=== Toilet bowls ===

'''Tired of clogged toilets? Try leaving the lid on the upper chamber and use only the lower bowl!''': The "upper chamber", the toilet's cistern, delivers plain water to the lower bowl at speed to flush the latter. As such, the pipes that direct the water down are not wide enough for waste to pass. There is typically a lid on the upper cistern because it isn't intended to be used, but access is occasionally needed to fix or replace the flushing mechanisms. The lower bowl, as one should be familiar with, is the one intended to receive solid waste or defecation and is connected to the plumbing by pipes wide enough for this purpose. Going in the upper chamber, commonly called an "upper decker", is a well known prank popularized in the season 5 finale of Louie.

=== Near the window ===

'''Fresh air doesn't have to be expensive. Many windows can be slid up to create a temporary hole without the usual cost and cleanup!''': This suggests that the people he appeals (or at least him) to typically smash a window (or a wall) to get fresh air, hence the clean up and expensive replacement of the window once enough fresh air has been obtained.

=== Title text ===

'''To make your shoes feel more comfortable, smell better, and last longer, try taking them off before you shower.''': People typically remove all their clothing, including and/or especially shoes (except perhaps for some lightweight sandals to protect the feet in public showers), when showering, so while it is certainly true that removing one's shoes before showering will allow them to last longer and stink less (since shoes that have little opportunity to dry produce malodorous molds), this is not in any way a novel idea.

This comic is clearly related to the [[:category:Protip|Protip category]], but the exact word is not mentioned in this comic so it cannot itself be given this category.

It is also possible that this comic is a reference to this very wiki. This wiki is here to explain the technical or pop-culture references that might confuse some readers. Not every comic relies on such details for appreciation, though, and Randall will often deliver a more straightforward punchline; this wiki, in the interest of thoroughness, will often explain the obvious.

==Transcript==
:[Cueball is standing outside a bathtub with the shower curtains partly drawn aside hanging outside the tub. The shower head is dripping water as Cueball reaches in turning the closest of the two taps. Below these there is a faucet. There is water on the floor at the bottom of the tub and a pool of water behind Cueball.]
:Cueball: Hi everyone! I'm back with more household tips. To conserve water, try turning off your shower before you leave home.

:[Cueball is holding a bucket and pours water out of it to the right. The water still hangs in the air over a small fire with four flames on the floor. A similar fire is behind him to the left, except it seems thre is a burning item in this fire, and a single flame is on the floor between that and Cueball. A smoke detector (off-panel) goes off in the background as indicated with lines and sounds.]
:Cueball: Sick of changing those smoke detector batteries? Eliminate any fires in your house and the batteries can last for months or years!
:Smoke detector (off panel): Beep beep beep

:[A frame-less panel shows a a toilet with the toilet seat up and also the lid has been removed from the cistern at the top. It is hanging in the air above and behind the cistern. There is an X with an arrow pointing towards the cistern and a checkmark with an arrow pointing towards the toilet bowl.]
:Cueball (off-panel): Tired of clogged toilets? Try leaving the lid on the upper chamber and use only the lower bowl!
:X
:✔

:[Cueball holding a hand up is standing next to an open window where the bottom part has been slid almost up to the top.]
:Fresh air doesn't have to be expensive. Many windows can be slid up to create a temporary hole without the usual cost and cleanup!

{{comic discussion}}

[[Category:Comics featuring Cueball]]

Jill

2016-08-16T01:51:54Z

Will X: /* Characteristics */

{{Infobox character
| image = Science_Girl.png
| imagesize =
| caption = Science Girl as seen in [[1611: Baking Soda and Vinegar]]
| first_appearance = [[585: Outreach]]
}}
'''Science Girl''' is a [[stick figure]] character in [[xkcd]].

She became the first child to have it's own character category. She is distinguished by being clearly a girl (compared to adults around her or her behavior), her hair is typically set in a hair bun but compared to [[Hairbun]] it is more loose, she may have more curly hair and typically there is a string of hair hanging down her back from the hair bun. As she is also clearly a girl she cannot be confused with Hairbun under normal conditions.

She can have several different hair styles though with [[1058: Old-Timers|two buns]] or no buns but a [[585: Outreach|ponytail]]. The best way to recognize her is from her behavior, where she is very interested in science, and typically more knowledgeable about the subject at hand than the adults around her, which may either results in embarrassment, enlightenment or even dangerous situations depending on how obtuse or condescending the adults around her behaves...

==Characteristics==
Science Girl is a minor character in xkcd. But she has had several comics where she is the main protagonist (or antagonist depending on who troubles her...)

She is not necessarily the same character from comic to comic, but can be used to represent the general kid interested in science. She seems, however, to be more of a character like [[Black Hat]], with her ability to make other people feel uncomfortable, than an every woman like [[Hairbun]]. But she is not generic evil, and thus in no way would she represent a young version of [[Danish]].

One of her largest parts is in [[1611: Baking Soda and Vinegar]] (see her character image), which is one of those that becomes dangerous for the obtuse adults. She is also ready to commit crime, even though she knows about environmental issues in [[1659: Tire Swing]] (the only comic with her so far where there are no adults, but it is clear that she is a girl), where she, along with another girl, steal the tires off a man's car, and then fight him. But she may also just induce new interest for science in [[Megan]] as in [[1104: Feathers]], or just display general interest in science as in [[1352: Cosmologist on a Tire Swing]] or the first comic (found so far) with her [[585: Outreach]] (where she only had a ponytail). It was also in this first esperance we learn why she wants to become a scientist.

In one case she is depicted as a young '''adult woman'''. That is in [[1520: Degree-Off]] where the hair and behavior fits perfectly with a grown up Science Girl.
*There are other comics with women looking like this, but in those instances there is no scientific context that could relate to science girls to they have been listed as Hairbun for now:
**[[703: Honor Societies]]
**[[708: Sex Dice]]
**[[1601: Isolation]]
**[[1608: Hoverboard]] in every instance.
*Maybe this will be changed later, when the community has had a chance to look into this new character.

==Gallery==
Since Science Girl is depicted in different ways so here is a gallery of some of these different appearances, her first appearance, her standard appearance, two buns and adult:

[[File:Science Girl with ponytail 585.png]][[File:Science_Girl.png]] [[File:Science Girl with two hair buns 1058.png]] [[File:Hair Bun Girl with curly hair and ponytail biologist.png]]

{{navbox-characters}}

734: Outbreak

2016-08-16T01:48:33Z

Will X: /* Explanation */

{{comic
| number = 734
| date = April 30, 2010
| title = Outbreak
| image = outbreak.png
| titletext = Let's get dinner after we promptly destroy all the X-7 we've manufactured.
}}

==Explanation==
{{w|Index case|Patient Zero}} is the usual terminology for the first patient tested or infected with an {{w|outbreak}}-style infection, like in the movie {{w|Outbreak (film)|Outbreak}}, which is not the main inspiration for this comic, except maybe the title.

This comic, however, serves to make fun of the stereotypical {{w|List of zombie films|zombie movie}} in which an unlikely series of events, coupled with extreme oversight on part of the staff, leave an opening for an outbreak to begin. Often, the infected find themselves lacking any restraint or containment, and freely move about in search of humans to infect.

In the comic Ryan (drawn as [[Cueball]]) tells Laura (drawn as [[Megan]]) that the patient has been exposed to ''toxin X-7''. The patient (a {{w|zombie}} version of a Cueball-like guy) can be seen through a window inside a laboratory, with Ryan trying to block the door. The patient has turned into a ''blood thirsty monster'' that in true zombie-style calls out for brains, while walking with both arms stretched out and bits of him falling off, three typical cliches for zombie movies

Laura then asks if the zombie has been kept in {{w|Isolation (health care)|isolation}}, a standard medical procedure that prevents the patient from coming into contact with anyone or anything not specifically approved, and thus prevents the spread of the disease. Her question serves to point out the drastic difference in real-life procedure and zombie movies.

When told that so far the zombie has been isolated her next action is to run to her car to obtain the weapon she has there to destroy the zombie, again showing contrast against the often irrational and illogical actions of medical staff in movies, whose behaviors usually lead to their deaths and to the spread of the disease, which causes the real outbreak. Because one person (or a few people) dying from a disease is not called an outbreak.

When Laura returns she kills patient zero, before he infects any other, thus the outbreak ends in panel three five minutes after it started in panel one. And neither Laura or Ryan was infected by the splatter when she shot the zombie with a large {{w|shotgun}} at close range! This would of course (even realistically) have happened in a zombie movie, where often a single drop of blood in the eye would cause the disease to spread. (See for instance {{w|28 Days Later}} (2002) where that exact example is taken from, and where the zombies are not previously dead people rising from their graves, just like in this comic, although there it is a disease rather than a toxin that caused the outbreak).

The comic ends with a little "mock the audience" joke as romantic comedies stereo-typically have a very different audience from zombie horror movies. The two characters had never been introduced before, their names are first given in the last panel. Having such an intense and life threatening expericen often causes people to fall in love. But for a zombie/disaster movie this is supposed to happen just before the end titles, so you have all the fun first, and can go home on the happy ending. Since the "fun" part only lasted for five minutes the rest of the movie will not describe Ryan and Laura's romantic relationship after this comic.

As a result, the director(s) of this movie are deliberately showing the wrong kind of film to the audience attracted by the title or teaser. This would be disastrous for a movie in real life given that audiences do not take kindly to such antics and are likely to pour hate about it online, dissuading others from going, and alienating both those audiences who enjoy romantic comedies and those who enjoy zombie films, leaving just a niche occupied by the people who enjoy both.

The title-text is included as another example of the logical real-life actions versus the illogical movie ones, as any dangerous substance in a real lab would be disposed of, preventing further harm. In zombie movies, another major trope is the medical staff thinking that they are safe after they eliminate the first zombie, only to find the remaining chemicals have been used to make more. But before Ryan and Laura have had dinner, they promptly go back and destroys both the X-7 toxin and the last hope of the zombie fans seeing the movie of any further action...

Zombies are a [[:Category:Zombies|recurring theme]] in xkcd. Though zombies are often depicted as being raised from the death they are as mentioned often created (in films) through disease or toxins as is the case here. Apart from the three typical features of zombies mentioned, the zombie in this comic is also called zombie in the [http://xkcd.com/734/info.0.json official transcript] on xkcd.

==Transcript==
:[Cueball and Megan, stand outside a door into a laboratory (as it says on the door). Cueball is leaning back against the door. A Cueball-like zombie which is clearly falling apart, walking with it's hands stretched out in front of it is visible through a window into the laboratory. At the top of the panel there is a frame around a yellow area with narration, which goes over the top of this panels frame.]
:Narrator: The outbreak started with Patient Zero...
:Cueball: He was exposed to toxin X-7— now he's a bloodthirsty monster!
:Megan: Has he been in isolation?
:Zombie: Braaains!
:Door: LAB

:[Cueball turns towards the door pushing on it partly blocking the doors label. A noise indicates the zombie banging on the door from inside. Megan runs right her head and hand already partly outside the frame.]
:Cueball: Yes, but I can't hold this door for long!
:Megan: Hang on, I've got a gun in my truck.
:Zombie hitting door: ''Wham''
:Door: LA

:[In this frame-less panel Cueball opens the door, leaning back with a hand in front of his face, as Megan shoots with her shotgun through the open door at the zombie inside.]
:Shotgun: <big>''Blam''</big>
:Door: LAB

:[Cueball and Megan , now revealed to be called Ryan and Laura, stand together away from the laboratory door. Megan still holds shotgun down. At the top and bottom of the panel there is two more frames around a yellow areas with narration, which goes over the top and bottom of this panels frame.]
:Narrator: And ended with Patient Zero five minutes later.
:Ryan: So, I never got your name. I'm Ryan.
:Laura: Laura.
:Narrator: The remaining 90 minutes of the movie will be a romantic comedy.

{{comic discussion}}

[[Category:Comics with color]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Cueball]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Megan]]
[[Category:Zombies]]
[[Category:Fiction]]

1712: Politifact

2016-07-27T16:11:27Z

Will X: /* Explanation */

{{comic
| number = 1712
| date = July 27, 2016
| title = Politifact
| image = politifact.png
| titletext = "Ok, I lit the smoke bomb and rolled it under the bed. Let's see if it--" ::FWOOOSH:: "Politifact says: PANTS ON FIRE!"
}}

==Explanation==
{{incomplete|Basic, please expand.}}

This comic presents the website [http://www.politifact.com/ Politifact.com] as a person, who rates every statement they hear based on how true it is, as the website does with political claims.

[[Megan]] says she had trouble sleeping. The Politifact person appears and says "''Mostly True!''" Megan appears distressed, and [[Cueball]] appears, hinting that this has happened before, and tells Politifact to get out. Politifact refuses, and hides under the bed. Megan remarks that no one likes Politifact, and Politifact replies "'''''Mostly True!'''''

The rulings from the Truth-O-MeterTM at PolitiFact are:
*True
*Mostly True
*Half-True
*Mostly False
*False
*Pants on Fire!

The title text furthers this, with "Pants on fire" being Politifact's most untrue rating, but in this case it is an actual statement that Politifact's pants have caught fire because of the smoke bomb.

==Transcript==
:[Megan walks around and rubs her eyes.]
:Megan: I did ''not'' sleep well last night.

:[A person with long hair wearing a hat crawls through the window, PolitiFact, Megan looks at the person.]
:PolitiFact: PolitiFact says ''mostly true!''
:Megan: Oh no...

:[PolitiFact has entered the room and Megan chases after that person with Cueball walking behind of them.]
:Cueball: Not again. Get out of here, PolitiFact!
:Megan: I ''swear'' I locked that window.
:PolitiFact: PolitiFact says: ''False!''

:[Cueball and Megan standing in a bedroom, PolitiFact hides under the bed.]
:Cueball: You can't stay under there forever.
:Politifact: PolitiFact says: ''False!''
:Megan: Nobody likes you, Politifact.
:PolitiFact: PolitiFact says: ''Mostly true!''

{{comic discussion}}

[[Category:Comics featuring Megan]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Cueball]]
[[Category:Politics]]
[[Category:Comics with color]]

1644: Stargazing

2016-06-10T11:48:48Z

Will X: /* Explanation */

{{comic
| number = 1644
| date = February 17, 2016
| title = Stargazing
| image = stargazing.png
| titletext = Some of you may be thinking, 'But wait, isn't the brightest star in our sky the Sun?' I think that's a great question and you should totally ask it. On the infinite tree of possible conversations spread out before us, I think that's definitely the most promising branch.
}}

[[Link title]]==Explanation==
This comic opens on a male host for a '''{{w|stargazing}}''' [[#Relevant TV-shows|TV show]]. He claims to be a doctor in {{w|astronomy}} though his remarks, however enthusiastic, may call this into question. (Although he is drawn like [[Megan]] it is a male television host according to the official transcript on xkcd – see the [[#Trivia|trivia section]]).

Throughout the comic the hosts tone and choice of words becomes increasingly unprofessional, referring to most of the stars as "shitty," personifying them based on different astronomical observations, and providing little useful information on the study of stars or how they work.

It seems that this is not an isolated issue as the television host mentions that people keep asking him whether or not he is a real astronomer.

Throughout the comic the television host continuously glosses over the arguably less exciting portions of a typical presentation on astronomy sharing only what he sees as "the good stuff." This penchant for only caring about something if it is interesting extends past astronomy as well as the host is too bored when reading the dictionary to look up the meaning of astronomer.

The comic derives much of its humor from the absurdity of the host's comments on various astronomical bodies. Although not technically incorrect, the way he presents the information is far from informative. (See details below on [[#The host's observations|the host's observations]]).

One of his observations regards the fact that {{w|Sirius}} is a {{w|binary star}}, a system where two stars orbit each other. So even though it is the brightest star as seen from Earth we only really see one of them, as the other is, to quote the host, "not even trying". Sirius A is "large" and "bright" {{w|main sequence}} white star, while Sirius B is a {{w|white dwarf}} with a little under half the mass, 0.49% the radius and only 0.22% the luminosity of Sirius A.

The {{w|Andromeda Galaxy|Andromeda}} is the largest galaxy in our {{w|Local Group}} it is 220,000 light years across and consists of a trillion stars. Humans have difficulty conceptualizing distances of this scale. Suffice to say that it is very large.

{{w|Betelgeuse}} is the 9th brightest star visible from earth. One of its prominent features is its visible redness and its size. Within the next million years it is expected to explode as a {{w|Supernova}}, which will certainly be a spectacular sight.

In the title text it is mentioned that the {{w|Sun}} is also a star and of course is much brighter than Sirius seen from Earth, and thus Sirius is technically not the brightest star in our sky (although it is in the night sky). The title text sarcastically encourages the audience to raise that obvious but irrelevant point (a standard joke when people mentions bright stars) instead of asking a more interesting, informative, or fruitful question, when there are so many to ask regarding astronomy.

The infinite tree and branches mentioned in the title text could be a reference to the {{w|Tree (set theory)|tree}} in {{w|set theory}}. Infinite tree theory and an infinite branch is mentioned on {{w|Tree_(set_theory)#Properties|the wiki page}}. Another reference may be to the {{w|many-worlds interpretation}} (one of many {{w|multiverse}} hypotheses). In lay terms, the hypothesis states there is a very large — perhaps infinite — number of universes, and everything that could possibly happen, but did not, happens in some other universe or universes. And of all the possible conversation topics regarding this awesome universe, the speaker chooses the discussion branch (in this universe) to be the one with a lame joke about the Sun being brighter than Sirius.

See also [[1371: Brightness]] and [[1342: Ancient Stars]].

===The host's observations===
Here is a list of the host's observations:
*Most {{w|Bright Star Catalogue|visible stars}} are still very faint, and just becomes background to the bright {{w|stars}} that form the named {{w|constellations}}.
**The host correctly states that they are just dots. (This is also true for the bright stars, but at least they are clearly distinguishable).
*{{w|Sirius}} is the {{w|Apparent magnitude|brightest}} star in our {{w|List of brightest stars|night sky}}. But it is not the brightest object in the night sky, as several of the planets, especially {{w|Venus}} and {{w|Jupiter}}, and of course the {{w|Moon}} are much brighter. It is also far from being one of the most {{w|Absolute magnitude|luminous star}} in the {{w|Milky Way}}, but its proximity to Earth makes it the brightest in the night sky. There are {{w|List_of_most_luminous_stars#Data|twenty visible stars}} that are more luminous than Sirius, {{w|List of most luminous stars|none of which}} come even close to being in the top 100 of the most luminous stars observed today.
**The host thus names Sirius as the star in charge since it outshines all the others as seen from the {{w|Earth}}.
*Sirius is actually a star system consisting of two stars as it is a {{w|binary star}} system. But where Sirius A is twice the size of the {{w|Sun}} and much brighter, then Sirius B is now just a dim {{w|white dwarf}}, the remains from a much larger star that became a {{w|red giant}} before shedding its outer layers and collapsing into its current state around 120 million years ago. So now Sirius A completely outshines Sirius B, which actually is now a dead star with no further fusion going on inside its core.
**This is construed by the host as it is barely even trying, as it is now only radiating away the rest of the heat from the now exposed core.
*{{w|Andromeda Galaxy|Andromeda}} is a {{w|spiral galaxy}}, like the Milky Way, and it is the largest galaxy in the {{w|Local Group}} where our own galaxy the Milky Way is the second largest. It is one of a few visible objects that are located outside the Milky Way. It is "only" 2.5 million light-years from the Sun and it is heading our way (or vice versa), and will {{w|Andromeda–Milky Way collision|collide with the Milky way}} in about 4 billion years (before the Sun goes into {{w|Sun#After_core_hydrogen_exhaustion|its red giant phase}}). Being 220,000 light years across and consisting of a trillion stars, it is somewhere between 1.2-2.2 times wider than the Milky Way and has 2.5-10 times as many stars. (The local group was also mentioned two comics ago, in [[1642: Gravitational Waves]], together with the much less well known third largest galaxy in the group the {{w|Triangulum Galaxy}}).
**It is therefore true when the host says that it is too big to try to understand, and thinking about it will make your head spin, so he suggests we do not think about it.
*{{w|Betelgeuse}} is a clearly visible (9th brightest) {{w|Red_supergiant|red supergiant}} {{w|Semiregular_variable_star|variable star}} located in the {{w|Orion (constellation)|constellation of Orion}}. It is one of the largest and most luminous observable stars (12th) and one of the few where it is clear that the light is not white. Most people can see that it is slightly red, whereas most other stars are so faint that they look white despite having different colors (when seeing Orion's two brightest stars, to remember which is which between Rigel and Betelgeuse, its diagonal opposite, just remember: Rigel is "R" like blue, and Betelgeuse is "B" like red). It is expected that Betelgeuse, being at a late stage of its {{w|Stellar_evolution|evolution}}, {{w|Betelgeuse#Approaching_supernova|will go supernova}} within the next million years as a {{w|type II supernova}}. The exact time when it will become a {{w|Supernova}} is so uncertain that it could [http://earthsky.org/brightest-stars/betelgeuse-will-explode-someday#explode just as likely happen tomorrow] as in a million years. When it happens it will not be dangerous to anyone on Earth, but it will likely be visible even during the day, as it may even become as bright as the full Moon.
**When it does go nova, it will be a fantastic spectacle for everyone, but especially for anyone who likes the ''good stuff'' in space like the host, who cannot wait for the star to explode. Clearly he hopes it will be in his lifetime, and, although this is unlikely, there is a small chance that it might just happen.
*A {{w|meteor}} (also known as {{w|shooting star}}), is debris from space that rains down on Earth, and burns up in the atmosphere. This happens all the time, but you need to be either lucky, patient, or know the right time for one of the {{w|meteor showers}} to see one. Often they are visible for so short a time period, that it is difficult to share the experience with anyone, as it will be gone by the time they turn their head to look where you are pointing.
**The host becomes very excited when he spots such a meteor, especially because it is likely that his audience got to share the experience with him, as they were already looking in the same direction as he. But still he asks if they saw it, because it is so short lived.
*{{w|Outer space}} is the void that exists between {{w|Astronomical object|celestial bodies}}, including the Earth. There is by definition nothing there but {{w|vacuum}}, and the interesting part of space is thus not the space but the astronomical objects found out there.
**The host says that ''space is cool'', which is a very un-astronomical comment, as explained above. Also his excitement for a simple shooting star is cause for the suspicion that is raised after his space comment.

===Relevant TV-shows===
The comic could be a reference to BBC's ''{{w|Stargazing Live}}'', which {{w|Brian Cox (physicist)|Brian Cox}} has appeared in since 2011. If drawn in xkcd style he would likely look like Megan. He has a PhD in high-energy {{w|particle physics}}, but not astronomy. The newest season of the show aired during January 2016 just a month before this comic's release. Brian Cox has also been the presenter of several other science programs, especially such as the ''{{w|Wonders of the Solar System}}'', ''{{w|Wonders of the Universe}}'' and ''{{w|Wonders of Life (TV series)|Wonders of Life}}''.

It could also be a reference to {{w|Jack Horkheimer}}'s PBS shows ''Star Hustler'' and ''{{w|Star Gazers}}''. Horkheimer, however, does not at all look like Megan, and he died 6 years ago. But he was not a doctor in astronomy, only getting into it when he started volunteering at the Miami Museum of Science's planetarium. He ended up writing shows for the planetarium and the PBS series developed from there. He rarely covered facts about the night sky that couldn't be found in any basic reference (possibly because the show was aimed at children and non-astronomy buffs), although he did get more in-depth about current astronomical events such as {{W|Comet Hale–Bopp}}.

==Transcript==
:[A thin panel where a male TV-host (with hair like Megan, but male according to official transcript), holding his hands up, is drawn in white on a black background. Behind him is an audience drawn in faint gray lines consisting of Hairy (to the left) and two Cueball-like guys and Ponytail (seen in a rare full face position) to the right of the host. One of the Cueball-like guys is partly hidden behind the host.]
:Host: Welcome to stargazing, with your host, me.
:Host: I'm a doctor or whatever.

:[Same scene as before but in a broader panel, and the host is now holding only one hand up with a finger pointing up. The audience is the same four people, but now Hairy has moved further to the left in the panel to make room for Megan also to the left of the host.]
:Host: I'm not gonna waste your time on the shitty stars.
:Host: Just the good stuff.
:Host: Honestly half of 'em just look like dots.

:[A frame-less drawing with a zoom out showing the group of six people in black silhouette on a white background. Part of the ground beneath them is shown as a black pool. The host is pointing up with one hand. The people have been rearranged, so left of the host is now a Cueball-like guy and Megan, and to the right is the other Cueball-like guy, then Ponytail (seen from the side as usual) and Hairy. All are looking up following the host's directions.]
:Host: This is Sirius. It's the brightest star in our sky so it's in charge.
:Host: It's really two stars but one of them is barely even trying.
:Host: This is Andromeda, it's too big to think about, so let's not.

:[Zoom in of the host's upper body, again drawn in white on a black background. She is looking right gesturing with one arm raised, and the other still pointing up with a finger stretched out. Her audience is no longer shown.]
:Host: That red stars is Betelgeuse. It's gonna explode someday.
:Host: Can't happen soon enough, as far as I'm concerned. I-
:Host: ''Holy shit did you see that meteor!?!''
:Host: Space is ''awesome!''

:[Same scene as the previous panel, but the host has turned towards left looking at someone in the audience (not shown) who speaks off-screen. She has taken both her hands down for the first time.]
:Off-screen voice: Are you ''sure'' you're an astronomer?
:Host: People keep asking that, so I finally tried to look that word up in a dictionary, and ''wow'' is that book ever boring. No thank you.
:Off-screen voice: But-
:Host: ''Space!''

==Trivia==
*Randall changed the [http://www.explainxkcd.com/wiki/images/archive/4/48/20160221022727!stargazing.png original] posted version of the comic.
**The only thing that changed was in the third panel where '''''That's''' Andromeda'' was changed to the current version: '''''This is''' Andromeda''
*From the official transcript it is clear that it is a male television host, and thus definitely not Megan.
**The official transcript seems to have been messed up on xkcd at the time being.
***The [http://xkcd.com/1644/info.0.json transcript for 1644] is thus at the moment a mix of that comics main info (top and bottom) which results in the correct title and title text, but the entire description in this transcript is describing the comic from two releases before no. [[1642]].
***This seems to be a general problem for recent comics...
***Thus the description of this comic, was first released when comic no. [[1646]] came out (today when this was written).
***This probably will be corrected later? But at this moment the official transcript for 1644 can be found together with the [http://xkcd.com/1646/info.0.json data for comic 1646].
**The transcript is included here below due to the issues with xkcd's transcript at the current time (correcting a typo with a missing "s" in "stuff" and formatting to look like our normal transcripts):
::[A television host in the foreground, speaking toward the reader. A group of other people are in the background behind them.]
::Host: Welcome to Stargazing, with your host, me. I'm a doctor or whatever.
::[He continues to talk.]]
::Host: I'm not gonna waste your time on the shitty stars. Just the good stuff. Honestly half of 'em just look like dots.
::[Normal color panel - black on white. A shot from far away of the host standing in the center of the group of people watching him, he points to the sky.]
::Host: This is Sirius. It's the brightest star in our sky so it's in charge. It's really two stars, but one of them is barely even trying. This is Andromeda. It's too big to think about, so let's not.
::[Inverse color panel. Close-up on the host gesturing toward the sky behind him.]
::Host: That red star is Betelgeuse. It's gonna explode someday. Can't happen soon enough, as far as I'm concerned. I-- ''HOLY SHIT DID YOU SEE THAT METEOR?!?!'' Space is ''awesome''!
::[The host speaks to someone out of panel.]
::Other: Are you ''sure'' you're an astronomer?
::Host: People keep asking that, so I finally tried to look that word up in a dictionary, and ''wow'' is that book ever boring. No ''thank'' you.
::Other: But--
::Host: ''SPACE!''

{{comic discussion}}
[[Category:Comics with inverted brightness]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Hairy]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Cueball]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Ponytail]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Megan]] 
[[Category:Multiple Cueballs]]
[[Category:Astronomy]]
[[Category:Space]]

1458: Small Moon

2016-06-05T00:03:50Z

Will X: /* Explanation */

{{comic
| number = 1458
| date = December 10, 2014
| title = Small Moon
| image = small_moon.png
| titletext = GENERAL JAN DODONNA: An analysis of the plans provided by Princess Leia has reinvigorated the arguments of the 'artificial moonlet' and 'rogue planet-station' camps. I fear this question is fracturing the Rebellion.
}}

==Explanation==
The comic depicts a [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EVekNsgUqn4 classic scene] from {{w|Star Wars Episode IV}}, in which the heroes trail a TIE fighter to the never-before-seen Death Star: a super-weapon the size of a small moon capable of demolishing entire planets. In the original scene and the comic, Luke Skywalker misidentifies a body as a natural satellite, and Obi-Wan 'Ben' Kenobi ominously corrects him. The comic's version diverges at this point, as the dialogue devolves into a rather bitter argument over the semantics of size classifications, alluding to scientific discussions on whether Pluto should be classified as a planet or as a dwarf planet.

The argument goes on for hours, which in the original plot would suggest one of two situations:
*The Death Star apparently never caught them, and Princess Leia was never rescued (but Ben survived).
*The argument was picked up after escaping the Death Star, and now Leia is joining in.

The argument is confused as to whether they're talking about size or about natural vs artificial objects. In terms of size, the Death Star is much larger (70 km radius) than dozens of {{w|List of natural satellites|full-fledged moons}} in our solar system. One of the smallest moons found so far in the solar system is {{w|S/2009 S 1}}, which is about 400 meters in diameter and orbits Saturn. But we don't generally speak of the tiny rocks in the rings of Saturn as moons, so there is some distinction there, which may include the orbit of the object [http://www.exploratorium.edu/saturn/moon.html]. There is also the distinction between natural moons and spacecraft, which seems to be ignored in the final panel.

The title text makes reference to a later scene in the film when Rebel pilots are being briefed on the planned attack on the Death Star. Those who analysed the plans for the Death Star run into the same discussion picture, and end up arguing about the classification of the Death Star, dividing those involved into the 'artificial moonlet' camp and the 'rogue planet-station' camp, thus deunifying the rebellion. If events are otherwise the same from the movie, this is also happening at threat of their destruction, and thus a crippling of the Rebellion.

The timing of the comic may be related to the {{w|New Horizons}} mission to {{w|Pluto}}. The spacecraft awoke from hibernation 4 days earlier, on December 6, 2014, to start the encounter phase with Pluto.

==Transcript==
:[Millennium Falcon follows a Tie Fighter towards an unidentified orb in the distance.]
:Luke Skywalker: He's heading for that small moon.
:Ben Kenobi: That's no moon - it's a space station.
:Luke Skywalker: It's too big to be a space station.
:Ben Kenobi: But it's too '''''small''''' to be a moon.
:[Three hours pass]
:Ben Kenobi: Fine! What if we agree it's not a moon, but we make a new category called "Dwarf Moon"?
:Luke Skywalker: And what's the cutoff, asshole?! Is this '''''ship''''' a dwarf moon now?
:Ben Kenobi: Screw you.
{{comic discussion}}
[[Category:Space]]
[[Category:Star Wars]]

1189: Voyager 1

2016-05-23T23:53:31Z

Will X: /* Explanation */

{{comic
| number = 1189
| date = March 22, 2013
| title = Voyager 1
| image = voyager_1.png
| titletext = So far Voyager 1 has 'left the Solar System' by passing through the termination shock three times, the heliopause twice, and once each through the heliosheath, heliosphere, heliodrome, auroral discontinuity, Heaviside layer, trans-Neptunian panic zone, magnetogap, US Census Bureau Solar System statistical boundary, Kuiper gauntlet, Oort void, and crystal sphere holding the fixed stars.
}}

==Explanation==
''{{w|Voyager 1}}'' is a U.S. space probe launched in 1977 to study the outer reaches of the {{w|Solar System}} and beyond. Popular press has on several occasions announced that it "has left the solar system" at each point when a boundary has been confirmed or a major event has taken place. This underscores the fact that there is no strictly defined and recognizable boundary of the solar system, or at least we haven't found one yet.

On the day of this comics release (2013-03-22) it was announced that [https://web.archive.org/web/20130322025117/http://www.agu.org/news/press/pr_archives/2013/2013-11.shtml Voyager 1 had entered a new region of space]. At this point Voyager 1 had passed {{w|Voyager_1#Heliopause|through the Heliopause}} and entered the {{w|Interstellar medium}}, although this latter was {{w| Voyager_1#Interstellar_medium|first confirmed}} about half a year later in September 2013.

The chart shows that Voyager 1 has left the Solar System 22 times, but in the title text only 16 are mentioned.

The title text lists several such possible boundaries, (and how many times Voyager 1 has passed them) together with fictive humorous ones:
*'''Real boundaries''':
*Three times:
**The {{w|termination shock}} – the point in the heliosphere where the solar wind slows down to subsonic speed (relative to the star) because of interactions with the local interstellar medium. When exactly Voyager 1 {{w|Voyager_1#Termination_shock|passed the Termination shock}} is not clear and on Wikipedia there is given dates of 2003, 2004 and 2005. The final estimate was that it happened late in 2004. (Thus fitting with three times).
*Twice:
**The {{w|Heliopause (astronomy)|heliopause}} – the theoretical boundary where the Sun's solar wind is stopped by the interstellar medium. It was first reported in 2012 that Voyager 1 had {{w|Voyager_1#Heliopause|reached the Heliopause}}, but first on the day of this comics release was it officially announced that it had passed through to the interstellar medium. (Thus fitting with two times).
*The rest (11) once only:
*The {{w|heliosphere}} – a region of space dominated by Earth's Sun, a sort of bubble of charged particles in the space surrounding the Solar System, i.e. we live inside this region. At its boundaries there are three named borders which is the real ones mentioned before and after this in the title text. From inside and out they are: The termination shock, the heliosheath and the heliopause. The reason the other two are mentioned first, is that they have occurred more than once, and the list begins with those for that reason. As these other three boarders is also part of the heliosphere, with the heliopause being the outer boarder of the heliosphere, then Voyager 1 will have left the heliosphere at the same time as it left the heliopause.
*The {{w|heliosheath}} – the region of the heliosphere beyond the termination shock. It was confirmed that Voyager 1 {{w|Voyager_1#Heliosheath|passed through this}} at the end of 2010, so this occurred two yreas before the Heliopause was reached. But since it only happened once, it is mentioned after the first two, and maybe after the heliosphere because it is inside this region?
*'''Fictive boundaries''':
*Heliodrome – yet another composition of ''helios'' "sun," here together with ''dromos'' "course". There is no astronomical object with this name, but it has been used variously in other contexts. One that became famous is a sports hall which was used as a concentration camp in the Bosnian war, see {{w|Heliodrom camp}}.
*Auroral discontinuity - another fictitious astronomic object, for ''auroral'' see {{w|Aurora (astronomy)}}.
*{{w|Heaviside layer}} – a layer of ionized gas occurring between roughly 90–150 km (56–93 mi) above the ground in the Earth's atmosphere. Popularly recognized for its use as a reference to Heaven in the writings of {{w|T. S. Eliot}} adapted into {{w|Andrew Lloyd Webber}}'s musical ''{{w|Cats (musical)|Cats}}''.
*Trans-Neptunian panic zone – this fictional zone combines the word from two subjects: "Trans–Neptunian" is used in astronomy to describe stuff that occurs beyond the planet Neptune. In {{w|Outdoor education}} the "panic zone" is the opposite of the {{w|comfort zone}} when trying to learn new stuff.
*{{w|Ignition magneto|Magnetogap}} – part of an {{w|ignition system}}.
*US Census Bureau Solar System statistical boundary – a fictive boundary supposedly defined by the {{w|United States Census Bureau}}, similarly to how it defines {{w|Census tract|census areas}} for the purpose of processing statistical data about regions in the United States. I'm this case, the Bureau's boundary for determining the population of the solar system.
*Kuiper gauntlet – this is a play on the {{w|Kuiper belt}}, which is a region of the Solar System beyond the planets, extending from the orbit of Neptune (at 30 AU) to approximately 50 AU from the Sun, notable for being full of asteroids; replacing the word "belt" with "{{w|gauntlet (glove)}}" (often spelled 'gantlet') which is a protective glove as well as "{{w|gauntlet (punishment)}}" which is a medieval punishment where one would be forced to run through two lines of men who would hit the punishee.
*Oort void – refers to the {{w|Oort cloud}}, a gigantic "cloud" of materials (mainly composed of ice) which ends around a light-year from The Sun and is deemed the (current) "edge" of the solar system. The "void" may be pun on density of that "cloud" - the number of bodies in it may be huge, but given its size, it's mostly empty.
*Crystal sphere holding the fixed stars – this refers to historical ideas about the universe, particularly the {{w|Ptolemaic system}}, in which the stars were supposed to be fixed on a {{w|Celestial spheres|large crystal sphere}} around the Earth. It might also be referencing "{{w|The Crystal Spheres}}", a short story by David Brin, in which humanity's first interstellar ship shatters a previously undetected, protective barrier around the solar system. It may also be a reference to the Dungeons and Dragons setting "{{w|Spelljammer}}".
*Total count above reaches 16 exits from the solar system vs. 22 in the comic itself.

See also [http://arstechnica.com/science/2013/03/voyager-probes-key-transition-remains-mysterious/ Voyager over the “heliocliff,” but Solar System transition mysterious] article on Ars Technica.

==Transcript==
:[A heading at the top of a white panel, then a line and below this 22 tally marks in two rows, four times five (three of these at the top) and then two extra.]
:Number of times ''Voyager 1'' has left the Solar System

{{comic discussion}}

[[Category:Charts]]
[[Category:Space probes]]
[[Category:Astronomy]]

1097: A Hypochondriac's Nightmare

2016-05-23T02:57:14Z

Will X: /* Explanation */

{{comic
| number = 1097
| date = August 20, 2012
| title = A Hypochondriac's Nightmare
| image = a_hypochondriacs_nightmare.png
| titletext = BUT WHAT IF I REASSURE MYSELF WITH A JOKE AND THEN DON'T WORRY ABOUT THE RASH AND IT TURNS OUT TO BE DEATH MITES AND I COULD HAVE CAUGHT IT
}}

==Explanation==
{{w|Hypochondriac}}s are people who worry obsessively about their health, often looking up symptoms on the Internet and convincing themselves that they have some deadly disease. The situation depicted in this comic is described as a "hypochondriac's nightmare" because [[Cueball]], expecting that the rash on his arm was some mysterious undiagnosed disease, spent several hours on {{w|WebMD}} (an online health symptom reference) looking up symptoms, yet ends up dying by slipping on a banana and getting sucked into an airplane engine. Thus he regrets wasting so much time on an ultimately fruitless task rather than something more productive to survival, such as, say, watching out for banana peels lying in front of jet engines, or at the very least, attempting to enjoy life.

The title text (in ALL CAPS thus shouting in despair) adds another level of hypochondriasm. [[Randall]] drew this particular joke to soothe his fears and reassure himself that the rash is nothing. But what if that reassurance just makes him not check out the rash, and then it turns out the rash is caused by (nonexistent) "death {{w|mite}}s" and ultimately kills him when he could have prevented it?

==Transcript==
:[Cueball at an airport slips on a banana peel and gets sucked into a nearby jet engine.]
:Cueball (thinking): Seriously!? '''''This''''' is what gets me? I wasted so many hours on WebMD worrying about the rash on my arm!

==Trivia==
*When originally published, "Hypochondriac" was misspelled as "Hypochrondiac".
*ICD-10 code for this situation is V9733xA <ref>http://fulldecent.blogspot.com/2012/02/new-medical-bill-theres-code-for-that.html</ref>

{{comic discussion}}
[[Category:Comics featuring Cueball]]

1086: Eyelash Wish Log

2016-05-23T02:26:08Z

Will X: /* Explanation */

{{comic
| number = 1086
| date = July 25, 2012
| title = Eyelash Wish Log
| image = eyelash wish log.png
| titletext = Ooh, another one. Uh... the ability to alter any coefficients of friction at will during sporting events.
}}

==Explanation==
This comic is based on a common belief/superstition that when someone's eyelash falls out, that person can make a wish on it. This comic appears to be a page from the fictitious Wish Bureau in charge of granting said wishes. And of course the wisher is [[Black Hat]] and he has quite a few wishes, most of them based on the previous wish. A common trope in fiction is that wishing for more wishes is prohibited and for many of his wishes [[Black Hat]] attempts to circumvent that.

;January 9: That wishing on eyelashes worked
:This wish is pointless. If wishing on eyelashes worked, then this would do absolutely nothing (because it already works) and if it didn't then nothing would happen because wishing on eyelashes wouldn't work.

;January 12: A pony
:This wish functions as a test to see whether or not previous wish worked. It can be assumed that it did, as Black Hat then continued to make additional wishes. Wishing for a pony is a stereotypical wish made by very young girls; since Black Hat is an adult man (with a very dark sense of humor), the contrast is humorous.

;January 15: Unlimited wishes
:This appears to have failed, due to the typical ban of wishing for additional wishes in conventional folklore.

;January 19: Revocation of rules prohibiting unlimited wishes
:An attempt to circumvent the ban in the previous wish.

;January 20: A finite but arbitrarily large number of wishes
:Another attempt to circumvent the ban on unlimited wishes.

;January 28: The power to dictate the rules governing wishes
:Yet another attempt to circumvent the ban on unlimited wishes.

;February 5: Unlimited eyelashes
:This wish likely caused Black Hat to grow unlimited eyelashes, which could be quite inconvenient and painful. And, yes, one more attempt to circumvent the ban on unlimited wishes.

;February 6: That wish-granting entities be required to interpret wishes in accordance with the intent of the wisher
:This wish is likely a response to the previous day's misguided wish. It's actually quite a common problem that people making wishes leave them open for misinterpretation.

;February 8: That wish-granting entities be incapable of impatience
:An attempt to prevent whatever being is powerful enough to grant wishes from becoming angry with Black Hat while he tries to manipulate the system.

;February 12 #1: Unlimited breadsticks
:The first wish of this day seems to be a reference to the unlimited {{w|breadsticks}} offered at {{w|Olive Garden}}.

;February 12 #2: Veto power over others' wishes
:A power that could be interesting to have. It also very much fits with Black Hat's character.

;February 19: Veto power over others' wishes and all congressional legislation
:An improvement of the previous wish. This would be very interesting to have indeed, especially if you are Black Hat, because you could veto any federal law, a power normally entrusted only to the President.

;February 23: The power to override any veto
:This wish would allow Black Hat to override vetoes which in addition to the previous wish would effectively make him control the US legislature and, to some extent, also all other governing bodies. (Notably the UN, where the veto powers wielded by the "big 5" cannot be overridden and can have large impacts on global politics.) Note that it will not allow him to turn laws off (veto them) and on again (override the veto) at any moment, as once a bill becomes law it cannot be vetoed. Without the ability to propose legislation, Black Hat's powers are still limited. The wish may also refer back to the February 19 wish: by granting himself veto power over wishes, Black Hat just made vetoes more powerful than wishes; now he is trying to control other people's vetoes as well, lest they one-up him.

;February 27: The power to see where any shortened URL goes without clicking
:This wish relates to a common practice especially in tweets or other short length media where full length specific HTML addresses such as <tt>www.somewhere.com/articles/specificdate/the page.html</tt> would not be feasible. So a more compressed but nonsensical string of seemingly random characters is used which links to a link of the full text address. This creates some problems for people who are security or privacy conscious and prefer to be informed beforehand where they will be traveling on the Internet. The use of shortened URLs is also central to many types of trolls or practical jokes, most notably Rickrolling (see https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i5MDnkV8DZA for an example), by directing someone to a different location than the link would initially suggest. Thus Black Hat might be wishing to be able to tell where the links go for the purpose of avoiding this sort of trolling.

;February 29: The power to control the direction news anchors are looking while they talk
:This wish likely appeals to Black Hat's mischevious side, allowing him to cause news anchors to look at the wrong camera during live broadcast. Repeatedly switching to the incorrect camera would cause havoc in the studio. Additionally, Black Hat may also attempt to get a news anchor fired by having them stare where they should not such as a female anchor's breasts.

;March 7: The power to introduce arbitrary error into Nate Silver's predictions
:A reference to {{w|Nate Silver}}, who is a former writer for {{w|Baseball Prospectus}} working on predicting baseball players' stats and now writes for {{w|Five Thirty Eight}} in which he predicts the outcome of elections based on polling data. This would grant Black Hat the power to influence the result of elections. This would tighten the Black Hat's control of the US even more.

;March 15: A house of stairs
:This wish refers to the {{w|lithograph}} {{w|House of Stairs}} by {{w|M. C. Escher}}, or perhaps another of his lithographs, {{w|Relativity (M. C. Escher)|Relativity}}

;March 23: A universe which is a replica of this one sans rules against meta-wishes
:Another attempt to circumvent the rules against wishing for more wishes.

;March 29: Free transportation to and from that universe
:While the previous wish appears to have worked, Black Hat notes a problem with it: he is still in our universe with no ways to get to the new one.

;April 2: A clear explanation of how wish rules are structured and enforced
:It appears that one or both of the previous two wishes failed, so Black Hat tries to discover exactly what is offending the Bureau. Having clear rules and how they work helps anyone finding loopholes in them.

;April 7: The power to banish people into the TV show they are talking about
:Black hat is obviously fed up of hearing people talking about certain TV shows, and would like to be able to banish them into the show, thus prevent him having to listen to those people.

;April 8: Zero wishes
:An attempt to hack the wish-granting system by using a quite common vulnerability in input validation: an unexpected value. There may be multiple vectors this can work:
:* in many computer systems, 0 is reserved for unlimited
:* the number may be used as a divisor in some equation and this will make the system divide by zero and probably crash
:* there also may be an assertion like "number of wishes granted == 1" which would fail, again crashing the system
:* similarly, if viewed as a computer system, it is possible that the wish decrement is performed after the wish is granted, thus resulting in either -1 wishes (another common placeholder for unlimited numbers), or an integer overflow if the wish counter is stored in an unsigned integer; the overflow can result in an exception, otherwise -1 becomes represented as MAX_INT-1 - basically, an arbitrarily large number.
:However it seems the eyelash wish-granting system does proper input validation on zero because it did not crash or grant unlimited wishes
:This wish may also be a reversal of the January 9 wish. Black Hat is attempting to win his game by introducing a logical contradiction: if he gets "zero wishes", this is one wish granted; however, if it is not granted, then, de facto, he will have been granted zero wishes. This is a common technique used in logical proofs to show that an earlier assumption does not hold (in this case, the possibility of eyelash wishing to work).

;April 15: Veto power over clocks
:Midnight, April 15 is the deadline for filing income tax returns in the United States.
:It may also be that Black Hat, now in control of all human legislation, is attempting to extend this to further control also rules of nature -- in this case: time. The strange wording is likely to be due to Black Hat having consulted with the wish-hacking manual he acquired April 2.

;April 22: A pokéball that works on strangers' pets
:A reference to the cartoon and video game series {{w|Pokémon}}. A Pokéball can be thrown at a Pokémon (or in this case, a pet that the Pokéball thrower finds either annoying or cute) to capture/contain it and/or achieve ownership of it. Unless cheats are used, Pokéballs cannot be used on Pokémon owned by other people in the Pokémon games. Many players wish to obtain the often high-level Pokémon of NPCs, and black hat guy may also be interested in pranking other players by stealing their powerful Pokémon

The title text is another yet another mischievous wish. The coefficients of friction, though usually not noticed as they are unchanging, are all-important when performing physical activities — imagine trying to play hockey on a field of sand or sprinting over a sheet of ice. In addition to the difficulty going where you want or getting any balls that might be in play where you want them to go in a changing friction environment, angular momentum would also be very difficult to control.

==Transcript==
:{|
! align="left" colspan="2" |Eyelash Wish Log
|-style="color: gray;"
|
|align="right"|Wish bureau ID#:
|-
|
|align="right"|21118378
|-style="color: gray;"
|
|align="right"|Date range:
|-
!scope="row" style="color: gray;"|Wisher
|align="right"|Jan-Apr 2012
|}

:{|
!align="left" width="50px"|Date
!align="left"|Wish
|-
|Jan 09
|That wishing on eyelashes worked
|-
|Jan 12
|A pony
|-
|Jan 15
|Unlimited wishes
|-
|Jan 19
|Revocation of rules prohibiting unlimited wishes
|-
|Jan 20
|A finite but arbitrarily large number of wishes
|-
|Jan 28
|The power to dictate the rules governing wishes
|-
|Feb 05
|Unlimited eyelashes
|-
|Feb 06
|That wish-granting entities be required to interpret wishes in accordance with the intent of the wisher
|-
|Feb 08
|That wish-granting entities be incapable of impatience
|-
|Feb 12
|Unlimited breadsticks
|-
|Feb 12
|Veto power over others' wishes
|-
|Feb 19
|Veto power over others' wishes and all congressional legislation
|-
|Feb 23
|The power to override any veto
|-
|Feb 27
|The power to see where any shortened URL goes without clicking
|-
|Feb 29
|The power to control the direction news anchors are looking while they talk
|-
|Mar 07
|The power to introduce arbitrary error into Nate Silver's predictions
|-
|Mar 15
|A house of stairs
|-
|Mar 23
|A universe which is a replica of this one sans rules against meta-wishes
|-
|Mar 29
|Free transportation to and from that universe
|-
|Apr 02
|A clear explanation of how wish rules are structured and enforced
|-
|Apr 07
|The power to banish people into the TV show they're talking about
|-
|Apr 08
|Zero wishes
|-
|Apr 15
|Veto power over clocks
|-
|Apr 22
|A Pokéball that works on strangers' pets
|}

{{Comic discussion}}

[[Category:Comics featuring Black Hat]]
[[Category:Pokémon]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Nate Silver]]

1052: Every Major's Terrible

2016-05-23T01:59:57Z

Will X: /* Explanation */

{{comic
| number = 1052
| date = May 7, 2012
| title = Every Major's Terrible
| before = [[#Explanation|↓ Skip to explanation ↓]]
| image = every_majors_terrible.png
| titletext = Someday I'll be the first to get a Ph. D in 'Undeclared'.
}}

==Explanation==
[[Randall]] has written a song called ''Every Major's Terrible'' and this comic illustrates the song. In this song the term {{w|Major (academic)|Major}} refers to the US version of an academic major. And the point of the song is that it makes no sense to pick any major since they are all terrible! Modern education actually is forcing students to use websites like [http://thetermpapers.net/ term paper writing service] as in most cases your major doesn't define or mean anything so you need to keep balance in learning what you want and what you need.

The header notes that the song is written to the tune of the satirical {{w|Major-General's Song}} from {{w|Gilbert and Sullivan's}} 1879 comic opera ''{{w|The Pirates of Penzance}}''. The song satirizes the idea of the "modern" educated British Army officer of the latter 19th century. {{w|Major general}} is a military rank in Britain and many other countries. (See here a YouTube video of [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zSGWoXDFM64" I Am the Very Model of A Modern Major-General"] to get the tune). The meter in the Major-General's Song is iambic octameter, which means that in each line there are eight iambs, where an iamb is two syllables in an unstressed-stressed pattern. Therefore, each line contains 16 syllables.

The panels show Randall's rewritten lyrics to the song. Below each of the three verses are described in detail (go to [[#Verse 1|Verse 1]], [[#Verse 2|Verse 2]] or [[#Verse 3|Verse 3]]). Each verse ends with "Just put me down as 'Undecided' - Every Major's Terrible", which gives the song its name — and "Major's Terrible" is similar enough to "Major General", the corresponding lyrics in the original version, to serve as a callback. The last line of the first verse in each song goes as follows:
*Original: I am the very model of a modern Major-General
*Randall's: Just put me down as undecided every major's terrible

The lyrics are commonly rewritten, the most famous rewrite likely being {{w|The Elements (song)}} by {{w|Tom Lehrer}} which is also mentioned below the main header. This song is also [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AcS3NOQnsQM available on-line].

His last suggestion, "{{w|Supercalifragilisticexpialadocious}}", from ''{{w|Mary Poppins}}'', is another fast-paced patter-song with a somewhat similar tune, though it doesn't fit quite so well, and the match falls apart at the end of the fourth line, when the "Um-diddly"s start up — still, it's better than nothing.

There are at least two performances of this xkcd song online where the transcription is shown to make it easier to understand the text:
*A video with each major acted out by the [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=seGpYa8UO0E SFU Choir - Every Major's Terrible].
*A solo with piano: [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pRexBMPeRTo Every Major's Terrible' by Ben Miller].
**See also this article [http://www.uproxx.com/gammasquad/2012/08/ben-miller-xkcd-every-majors-terrible/ Xkcd's 'Every Major's Terrible' Is Now A Real Song].

Regarding the title text: "Undeclared" is sometimes called "General Studies". Most U.S. universities will not let you get a degree in this, let alone an advanced degree such as a {{w|Ph.D.}} Also, it should probably be noted that this song refers to U.S.-like university systems, in other countries, one will study little to nothing outside your major, making it more-or-less impossible to be undecided as to major.

===Verse 1===
;Panel 1, ''Philosophy's just math sans rigor, sense, and practicality'': [[Cueball]] is posing as {{w|Rodin}}'s {{w|The Thinker}}, a common symbol for {{w|philosophy}}. The equation in the background (two plus light bulb equals sailboat) is nonsense, hence "{{w|math}} sans rigor, sense or practicality" ([http://www.thefreedictionary.com/sans sans] meaning without).

;Panel 2, ''And math's just physics unconstrained by precepts of reality.'': A cannon is firing. However, instead of going in the normal parabolic arc (a precept of reality and thus {{w|physics}}), the cannonball splits and splits again, so that it looks like a {{w|bifurcation diagram}} from {{w|chaos theory}}. The dashed line indicates the cannonball's trajectory, which bifurcates twice, although the sum of the momentums of the four resulting (1/4 sized?) cannonballs is presumably mathematically identical to the original.

;Panel 3, ''A business major's just a thing you get so you can graduate'': {{w|Business education|Business}} is the most common major, often seen as a practical choice applicable to a wide variety of careers, or, as the comic illustrates, preferred by those who just want an easy way to graduate. Cueball gets his diploma and runs away from the dean on the podium while shedding both his robe and his {{w|square academic cap}} (or Mortarboard).

;Panel 4, ''And chemistry's for stamp collectors high on methylacetate.'': Stamp collecting refers to the [https://en.wikiquote.org/wiki/Ernest_Rutherford famous quote] by {{w|Ernest Rutherford}}, "All science is either physics or stamp collecting." {{w|Methyl acetate}} is a solvent that for instance can be used to remove stamps from their envelope (although water will do the same). The stamps in the background form the {{W|periodic table}} of the chemical elements. And since {{w|chemistry}} is not physics, according to the quote, {{w|chemists}} must be stamp collectors (as, the high on methylacetate, [[Ponytail]] wearing goggles and holding an {{w|Erlenmeyer flask}}).

;Panels 5, ''Why anyone who wants a job would study lit's a mystery''
;Panels 6, ''Unless their only other choice were something like art history.'': These lines, both sung by Cueball, refer to subjects where a majority of graduates will end up unemployed or eventually working in a field outside their majors. Topics such as {{w|Literature}} or {{w|Art History}} are often and historically said to be in this category — although from [http://www.studentsreview.com/unemployment_by_major.php3?sort=Rate actual statistics], it is clear that there are far worse majors these days.

;Panels 7, ''A BA in communications guarantees that you'll achieve''
;Panels 8, ''A little less than if you'd learned to underwater basket-weave'': Here Cueball first has a major in {{w|Communication studies|Communications}} and next he is seen underwater with a basket. {{w|Underwater basket weaving}} is a commonly used metaphor for any college major that is easy or worthless. "Communications" is a major chosen by people interested in news broadcasting or other media. For why that might be criticized see [http://badpr.co.uk/ Bad PR]. Note that, if following the original music exactly, the line "A little less than if you'd learned to underwater basket-weave." will be repeated three times by the chorus after these panels.

;Panel 9, ''I'd rather eat a Fowler's toad than major in biology,'': We see Cueball holding a frog out in front of him while taking his hand to his head (in disgust?). A {{w|Fowler's toad}} is a relatively common toad in the eastern US, and a stereotype of studying {{w|biology}} is a frog {{w|dissection}}, which is likely part of the reference, albeit oblique. Fowler's Toad emits a {{w|Bufo_fowleri#Behavior|noxious secretion}} that [http://www.nwf.org/wildlife/wildlife-library/amphibians-reptiles-and-fish/toads.aspx irritates skin] and thus probably also the mucous membranes in the mouth. It would thus be rather painful to eat, making it very bad for Cueball to major in biology since he would rather eat such a toad.

;Panel 10, ''And social psych is worse than either psych or sociology.'': {{w|Social psychology}} is compared to {{w|sociology}} (study of humans in society) and {{w|psychology}} (study of human minds). Psychology is represented by a {{w|serial killer}} with a chainsaw, and sociology is represented by a {{w|hobo}}. These are to the left of [[Megan]]. To her right is a hobo serial killer with chainsaw. She is standing between them undecided as to take one, the other or both. They are all terrible options...

;Panels 11, ''The thought of picking any one of these is too unbearable,''
;Panels 12, ''Just put me down as "Undecided"—Every major's terrible.'': End of the first verse where Cueball tells his academic advisor that he is undecided as every major's terrible. He even throws away his {{w|study guide}}. Every verse ends with some variation of this couplet, and in the original tune, each of these couplets are repeated by the chorus afterwards.
:''Unbearable'' and ''terrible'' rhyme for people who have the {{w|English-language vowel changes before historic /r/#Mary–marry–merry merger|Mary-merry merger}}.

===Verse 2===
;Panel 13, ''Now, if you can't prognosticate, that's OK in seismology,'':[https://en.wiktionary.org/wiki/prognosticate Prognosticate] means "to predict". This refers to the inability of {{w|seismology}} to reliably predict catastrophic {{w|earthquake}}s, even after centuries of extensive research. The panel shows {{w|Seismic wave|seismic waves}} from a {{w|seismograph}}. The seismograph chart has four traces and about halfway across one trace begins oscillating vigorously indicating an earthquake. Five months after this comic was published several seismologists in Italy were [http://www.nature.com/news/italian-court-finds-seismologists-guilty-of-manslaughter-1.11640 convicted of crimes] that effectively stemmed from an inability to predict an earthquake. This does not go down well for the message of this panel... Their conviction was [http://www.nature.com/news/italian-seismologists-cleared-of-manslaughter-1.16313 overturned on appeal] in 2014.

;Panel 14, ''But if your hindsight's weak as well, you'd best stick to theology.'': The bearded [https://en.wiktionary.org/wiki/theologist theologist] represents {{w|Theology}} by stating the formal logic proposition shown in the illustration: "X ∴ ∃X". This says "I can describe this thing called X, therefore X exists". This is basically what the popular {{w|ontological argument}} for God boils down to. Briefly, it asks you to imagine the best possible deity. A God like that which exists is better than one that doesn't. But we said we were imagining the best possible deity. Therefore, this proposition concludes that God exists. (See [[1505: Ontological Argument]].)

;Panel 15, ''CS will make each day a quest to find a missing close-paren.'': "CS" is short for "{{w|Computer Science}}." Most programming languages use parentheses as part of their syntax, and often have multiply-nested parenthetical expressions. This is especially true of {{w|Lisp (programming language)|Lisp}}. It is often difficult for a programmer to determine where the unbalanced parenthesis begins or ends when the code and parentheses are not properly formatted and indented. In the panel there is one more left "(" parenthesis (13) than right ")" or ''close-paren'' (12). The problem is now, where to put this last one...

;Panel 16, ''Virology will guarantee you'll never get a hug again.'': {{w|Virology}} is the study of {{w|infectious diseases}}. The green symbol above the central figure is the {{w|Hazard_symbol#Biohazard_sign|biohazard symbol}}, implying that people who study infectious diseases, and are therefore located near them at some points in time, will be shunned like the plague, because they're probably carrying it. Thus no hugs to Megan as three Cueball like guys and Ponytail leans back away from her.

;Panel 17, ''I.T. prepares you for a life of fighting with PCs nonstop.'': "I.T." is short for "{{w|Information Technology}}", a degree for people who maintain computer systems. If there is a need for an I.T. position (in which I.T. professionals are employed) there are computers which need fixing — hence the I.T. Professional is always fixing (or fighting) computers, which may or may not have been [http://ars.userfriendly.org/cartoons/?id=19980506 "broken" by users]. In the panel Megan, wielding an axe, is in a real fight with a PC.

;Panel 18, ''As Pratchett said, "Geography's just physics slowed with trees on top."'': This is a slightly amended quote from {{w|Discworld}} author {{w|Terry Pratchett}}, from his book "{{w|The Last Continent}}". The actual quote is "{{w|Geography}} is just physics slowed down, with a couple of trees stuck in it." But the meaning is the same, that physics also describes geography - a similar quote to the one about physics vs. stamp collections mentioned under panel 4.

;Panel 19, ''Though physics seems to promise you a Richard Feynman-like career,'': {{w|Richard Feynman}} was a 20th-century {{w|Nobel Prize|Nobel}}-laureate {{w|physicist}} known for his great sense of humor, including being photographed for one of his books while holding a {{w|bongo drum}}. Here he is depicted with the drum and with both a blond woman and Megan looking admiringly upon him. Feynman made physicist seem cool, and many a young fan of him, might choose the subject in the hope of obtaining a Feynman-like career. This is, however, very unlikely for most people as is also shown in the next panel.

;Panel 20, ''The wiki page for "Physics major" redirects to "Engineer."'': A redirect on Wikipedia is a page which immediately sends the visitor to a different page. This implies that the title of the first is either a synonym or a sub-topic of the second. {{w|Physics major}} usually learn to code, and the standard joke is that they invariably get hired as {{w|computer programmers}} after graduation, but here in this comic they get hired as {{w|engineers}}. This relates back to the previous panel, as it is here shown that most of those that major in physics end up as engineers and not like Feynman. The Wikipedia page physics major didn't actually exist when this comic was published. It was created the same day, but as a [https://en.wikipedia.org/w/index.php?title=Physics_major&redirect=no redirect] to {{w|physics education}}. It is such a redirect page that is shown in the panel. In the subsequent days, there were dozens of instances of people changing it to redirect to engineer, usually reverted within minutes. The redirect page is now ''fully protected'' and locked for editing. As with the underwater basket-weaving line in the first verse, after the soloist sings this, the line would be repeated three times by the chorus.

;Panels 21, ''They say to study history or find yourself repeating it,''
;Panels 22, ''But all that it prepares you for is forty years of teaching it.'': This uses a version of a quote by {{w|George Santayana}} (although often attributed to others as well), ''Those who cannot remember the past are condemned to repeat it'' as a reason to study {{w|history}} — only to be followed by an indication that by studying history as a major, you will only be prepared to become a history teacher, and you will then spend the rest of your life teaching history. The first panel shows a flow chart that will lead you to repeat your sad past if you cannot remember it, and only move on to happier times if you can. In the next panel we see a [[Hairbun]] as a history teacher, with glasses and her gray hair tied up in a bun, standing in front of a green {{w|blackboard}} with three important years for her current history class. (If anyone spots a connection between 1935, 1969 and 1991 please state it here).

;Panels 23, ''I recognize my four-year plan's at this point not repairable,''
;Panels 24, ''But put me down as "Undecided"—Every major's terrible.'': End of the second verse where Cueball again talks to his academic advisor saying that he is undecided. In the last of the two panel he says almost the same as at the end of the first verse. In the first, however, he mentioned his "four-year plan" which is the list of all the courses a student plans to include in his/her degree program. If you change majors every semester, or do not decide on one until too late, this list gets really difficult to turn into any one degree. Again these lines would be repeated by the chorus afterwards.

===Verse 3===
;Panel 25, ''Astronomers all cringe when they hear "supermoon" or "zodiac".'': {{w|Supermoon}} is a term invented by {{w|astrologers}} in the 1970s, with no significance in {{w|astronomy}} other than being the co-occurrence of orbital {{w|perigee}} and full-moon. But it comes up often in the press, linked to supernatural behavior. (See [[1394: Superm*n]]). The {{w|zodiac}} is the circular band in the sky containing the apparent path of the sun, moon and planets. Most often when people talk about it, they're referring to {{w|astrology}} and {{w|horoscopes}} and other pseudo-scientific notions which often lead to conversations which are frustrating to astronomers, like the bearded one from the panel.

;Panel 26, ''Agronomy's a no-go; I'm a huge agorophobiac.'': {{w|Agronomy}} is the science of farming, while {{w|agoraphobia}} is the fear of wide open spaaaces. Fields, where most farming happens, are wide open spaaaces. In the panel an anxious Cueball is standing near a fence on an open field with a tractor. Presumable he may be OK inside the tractor, but once he gets outside he becomes anxious.

;Panel 27, ''I'm too ophiophobic to consider herpetology,'': {{w|Herpetology}} is the study of {{w|reptiles}} and {{w|amphibians}}, while {{w|ophiophobia}} is the fear of {{w|snakes}} (a reptile). The panel shows sweating Cueball holding his hands to his mouth while looking at a green snake asking for his love? It is possible that Cueball is afraid of the snake, who is harmless and just wants to be friends.

;Panel 28, ''And I can't stomach any part of gastroenterology.'': As the pun suggests, {{w|gastroenterology}} is the study of the human digestive system and the image shows the human {{w|stomach}}. To [http://idioms.thefreedictionary.com/cannot+stomach not be able to stomach something] means you can't stand or tolerate this thing.

;Panel 29, ''While pre-med gives you twitchy-eyed obsession with your GPA,'': {{w|Pre-med}} (pre-medical) is a major chosen by students hoping to go on to {{w|medical school}} to study {{w|medicine}} and eventually become {{w|Doctor of Medicine|doctors}}. Medical school is extremely competitive and usually requires a very high undergraduate {{w|GPA}} for prospective students. Hence we see a pre-med student holding on to all his GPA results.

;Panel 30, <tt>a poetry degree bespeaks bewildering naïveté.</tt>: The text is in all lower-case, a different font and strangely laid out compared to the text in all the other panels. All-lower-case and "free" layout are both associated with 20th century "{{w|Modernist}}" {{w|poetry}}, especially the works of {{w|E. E. Cummings}}. Ponytail is actually reciting this line of the song.

;Panels 31, ''TV's behind the rush into forensic criminology''
;Panels 32, ''(Or so claims meta-academic epidemiology).'': This refers to how {{w|forensic}}-{{w|criminology}} shows, specifically {{w|CSI: Miami}} (Crime Scene Investigation: Miami) as shown on the TV screen in both panels, that often dramatize, exaggerate or otherwise confuse the science behind forensics, give people unrealistically glamorous views of the career, thus encouraging them to join it. {{w|Epidemiology}} is the study of causes and effects of events and trends. We see a pipe smoking epidemiologist standing with Ponytail and watching CSI - presumably making wild claims on cause and effect based only on what they see on TV... This is, again, the point where the chorus joins in three times, as in the previous two verses.

;Panels 33, ''By dubbing econ "dismal science" adherents exaggerate;''
;Panels 34, ''The "dismal"'s fine - it's "science" where they patently prevaricate.'': "Econ" is short for "{{w|economics}}". {{w|Thomas Carlyle}} declared economics "{{w|the dismal science}}" in the {{w|Victorian era}} as a derogatory alternative name. {{w|Economists}} often claim that economics is a {{w|science}} like any other; however, as the predictive power of all economic theories are exceedingly weak compared to those of any science, this is disputed by those outside the field at times. It is of course also disputed by this song, in which Cueball "clearly" (see below) states that economics should not call it self a science - that is the ''dismal science'' is not derogatory enough for him.
*The sentences uttered by Cueball in these two panels are extremely difficult English for non-native English speakers.
*Here is some help in understanding the sentences:
**[https://en.wiktionary.org/wiki/dub Dubbing] something means ''giving it a nickname''.
**[https://en.wiktionary.org/wiki/dismal Dismal] science means ''disappointingly inadequate science''.
**[https://en.wiktionary.org/wiki/adherent Adherents] means ''supporters''.
**[https://en.wiktionary.org/wiki/patently Patently] means ''in a clear and unambiguous manner''
**[https://en.wiktionary.org/wiki/prevaricate Prevaricate] means to ''evade the truth''.
*Using these meanings of the words the two sentences can be re-written as:
**By giving economics the nickname "disappointingly inadequate science" the supporters [of economics] exaggerate;
**The "disappointingly inadequate" is fine - it's "science" where they in a clear and unambiguous manner evades the truth.

;Panels 35, ''In terms of choices, I'd say only Sophie's was comparable.''
;Panels 36, ''Just put me down as "Undecided"—Every major's terrible!'': End of the third verse, with yet another variant on the closing couplet. Choosing a major is compared to {{w|Sophie's Choice}}, which is any {{w|dilemma}} where choosing one cherished person or thing over the other will result in the death or destruction of the other, derived from the theme of the {{w|Sophie's Choice (novel)|novel}} of the same name, which has also been turned into a {{w|Sophie's Choice (film)|romantic drama film}}. So Cueball tells the academic advisor that choosing any of the majors over any other is as horrible as to have to choose which cherished person should die to save the other. Although in his case, it is the other way around, since he thinks all choices sucks. Again these lines would be repeated by the chorus.

==Transcript==
:[Headings to the left and above the 36 panels:]
:'''Every Major's Terrible'''
:to the tune of Gilbert & Sullivan's
:'''Modern Major-General Song'''
:(Which you may know from Tom Lehrer's ''Elements''.
:If not, just hum ''Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious''.)

:[To make it easier to read the lyrics, the lyrics text is double indented. If someone says the line, their name stands above the line they say. If no one says the line it is just written after the description. Unless otherwise stated, the text is inside the frame of the panel above the drawing. If any other text is present it will be written after the lyrics.]

:[Panel 1: Cueball sitting with his chin on fist on a gray rock. Next to him is a mathematical expression "2 + a picture of yellow glowing light bulb = picture of Cueball in sailboat on a blue sea".]
::Philosophy's just math sans rigor, sense, and practicality
:Expression: 2+ =
:[Panel 2: A black and brown cannon standing on a green hill fires and a dashed line indicates the cannonball's trajectory. The line splits in two twice ending up at 4 cannonballs.]
::And math's just physics unconstrained by precepts of reality.
:[Panel 3: A student in robes and square academic cap receives a diploma from a dean on a brown podium, while Cueball, diploma in hand, runs away on the green lawn, arms in the air, shedding both robe and cap.]
::A business major's just a thing you get so you can graduate
:[Panel 4: Ponytail wearing goggles and holding a flask with the periodic table in the background. Three stars and circle lines around her head indicates that she is dizzy.]
::And chemistry's for stamp collectors high on methylacetate.
:[Panel 5: Cueball holds up hands questioningly.]
:Cueball:
::Why anyone who wants a job would study lit's a mystery
:[Panel 6: Cueball holding his chin.]
:Cueball:
::Unless their only other choice were something like art history.
:[Panel 7: The text is above this panels frame, which is only about two third of the other frames. In the frame is a close-up of Cueball as a graduate wearing yellow embroidered robe and yellow tasseled mortarboard.]
::A BA in communications guarantees that you'll achieve
:[Panel 8: The text is above this panels frame, which is only about two third of the other frames. In the frame is again the same Cueball graduate. Only now he is emerged in blue water. A wicker basket flows to the left, where air bubbles escape from Cueball. To the right are two fish.]
::A little less than if you'd learned to underwater basket-weave
:[Panel 9: Cueball holding a gray frog at arm's length.]
:Cueball:
::I'd rather eat a Fowler's toad than major in biology,
:Frog: Ribbit
:[Panel 10: Megan indicating to the left a scruffy individual and an individual holding a chainsaw, and to the right another scruffy individual holding a chainsaw.]
::And social psych is worse than either psych or sociology.
:[Panel 11: Cueball stands in front of a brown desk holding a gray course catalog. Behind the desk sits a man with glasses and hair at the back of his head. He sits on his gray office chair. There is a stack of papers on the desk.]
:Cueball:
::The thought of picking any one of these is too unbearable.
:[Panel 12: Same picture as panel 11, only now Cueball tosses the course catalog over his shoulder.]
:Cueball:
::Just put me down as "Undecided"—Every major's terrible.
:[Panel 13: The text is above this panels frame, which is only about two third of the other frames. In the frame is a seismograph chart with four traces; about halfway across one trace begins oscillating vigorously.]
::Now, if you can't prognosticate, that's OK in seismology,
:[Panel 14: A bearded man with white hair states a formula with his left arm lifted.]
::But if your hindsight's weak as well, you'd best stick to theology.
:Bearded man: X ∴ ∃X
:[Panel 15: Two lines with gray parenthesis.]
::CS will make each day a quest to find a missing close-paren.
:Code: <code>(((()((((()(</code>
:Code: <code>))))())())())</code>
:[Panel 16: Megan with a green biohazard symbol floating above her head stands alone; to the left and right three Cueball-like guys and Ponytail shun her.]
::Virology will guarantee you'll never get a hug again.
:[Panel 17: Megan running at a PC on a brown table with a brown and black axe raised over her head.]
::I.T. prepares you for a life of fighting with PCs nonstop.
:[Panel 18: The frame is a little smaller than the other frames. Above the frame is the first part of the text. In the frame is an image of a bearded man with glasses who says the rest of the text. ]
::As Pratchett said,
:Pratchett:
::"Geography's just physics slowed with trees on top."
:[Panel 19: A man with black hair plays on brown bongo drums while a blond woman and Megan look in at him from left and right.]
::Though physics seems to promise you a Richard Feynman-like career,
:[Panel 20: The text is above this panels frame, which is only about two third of the other frames. In the frame is screenshot of a wiki redirect page. Below the title is the normal text for such a page. This is unreadable though, although it is possible to imagine it is possible to read the first line which would say: ''From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia''. But not the other line which would be ''Redirect page''. Below this line is an arrow down to the page the redirect points to. This is written in blue letters.]
::The wiki page for "Physics major" redirects to "Engineer."
:Wiki page:
::Physics major
:: Engineer
:[Panel 21: Flowchart: a gray box with a sad face chains to a decision diamond reading simply "?"; the "yes" branch leads to a yellow happy-face box while the "no" branch loops back to the initial sad face.]
::They say to study history or find yourself repeating it,
:Flow chart:
::?
::No
::Yes
:[Panel 22: The text is above this panels frame, which is only about two third of the other frames. In the frame is Hairbun as a teacher with boxy spectacles and a bun in front of a green chalkboard with three years in white.]
::But all that it prepares you for is forty years of teaching it.
:Chalkboard:
::1935
::1969
::1991
:[Panel 23: Cueball at his adviser's desk again as in panel 12, but now without any catalog and holding his arms down.]
:Cueball:
::I recognize my four-year plan's at this point not repairable,
:[Panel 24: Same as panel 23 except Cueball has raised a first and the adviser has his hand to his mouth.]
:Cueball:
::But put me down as "Undecided"—Every major's terrible.
:[Panel 25: Image of a bald man with beard and glasses. He raised both hands one as a fist the other pointing up. There are lines out from his head to the left and lightning lines out from his head to the right.]
::Astronomers all cringe when they hear "supermoon" or "zodiac".
:[Panel 26: Silhouette of Cueball, agitated, in an open field near a fence and a tractor.]
::Agronomy's a no-go; I'm a huge agorophobiac.
:[Panel 27: Cueball looking aghast at a green snake on the ground, both hands at his mouth and sweat jumping from his head. The snake also thinks about Cueball but in red and black.]
::I'm too ophiophobic to consider herpetology,
:Snake: ♥?
:[Panel 28: Anatomical image of a stomach in pink and red.]
::And I can't stomach any part of gastroenterology.
:[Panel 29: A man with wild hair, glasses askew, clutching folders and papers (green, blue and white), and dropping several.]
:Man:
::While pre-med gives you twitchy-eyed obsession with your GPA,
:[Panel 30: Ponytail reciting poetry; her poem is this panel's line, in a lighter, lower-case font.]
:Ponytail:
::<tt>a poetry degree bespeaks bewildering naïveté.</tt>
:[Panel 31: The text is above this panels frame, which is only about two third of the other frames. The frame is a TV screen with the ''CSI: Miami'' logo, CSI in yellow.]
::TV's behind the rush into forensic criminology
:TV screen:
::''' CSI: '''
::'''Miami'''
:[Panel 32: A balding man wearing glasses and holding a smoking pipe together with Ponytail holding a notebook watch a wall-mounted flat-screen TV on which the ''CSI: Miami'' logo from the previous panel is showing.]
::(Or so claims meta-academic epidemiology).
:TV screen:
:: CSI:
::Miami
:[Panel 33: Cueball is talking with his left arm raised, palm up.]
:Cueball:
::By dubbing econ "dismal science" adherents exaggerate;
:[Panel 34: Close-up on Cueball with left arm up.]
:Cueball:
::The "dismal"'s fine—it's "science" where they patently prevaricate.
:[Panel 35: As panel 23 with Cueball at his adviser's desk once more though with both hands held out in front of him.]
:Cueball:
::In terms of choices, I'd say only Sophie's was comparable.
:[Panel 36: Same as panel 35 except that Cueball makes a final dramatic flair spreading both arms out.]
:Cueball:
::Just put me down as "Undecided"—Every major's terrible!

{{comic discussion}}
[[Category:Comics with color]]
[[Category:Songs]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Cueball‏‎]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Megan‏‎]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Ponytail‏‎]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Hairbun]]
[[Category:Multiple Cueballs]]
[[Category:Comics featuring real people‏‎]]
[[Category:Astronomy‏‎]]
[[Category:Biology‏‎]]
[[Category:Chemistry‏‎]]
[[Category:Computers‏‎]]
[[Category:Geography]]
[[Category:Math‏‎]]
[[Category:Philosophy‏‎]]
[[Category:Physics‏‎]]
[[Category:Psychology‏‎]]
[[Category:Science‏‎ ]]
[[Category:Flowcharts]]
[[Category:Puns]]
[[Category:Animals]]

959: Caroling

2016-05-22T01:32:23Z

Will X: /* Explanation */

{{comic
| number = 959
| date = October 3, 2011
| title = Caroling
| image = caroling.png
| titletext = For a thousand generations we vowed never to forget how his soldiers feasted on our brother Stephen.
}}

==Explanation==
Here are the lyrics for the first verse of the Christmas Carol, "{{w|Good King Wenceslas}}"

:''Good King Wenceslas looked out, on the Feast of Stephen,''
:''When the snow lay round about, deep and crisp and even;''
:''Brightly shone the moon that night, tho' the frost was cruel,''
:''When a poor man came in sight, gath'ring winter fuel.''

While not a king, {{w|Wenceslaus I, Duke of Bohemia}} is considered a martyr and a saint. Far from being responsible for any massacre, he protected his subjects from external dominance, and is still a national hero to the Czech people. [[Black Hat]] is supplying {{w|disinformation}} to unsuspecting carolers in order to silence them.

The title text references "the {{w|St. Stephen's Day|Feast of Stephen}}" which is also known as the "Feast of St. Stephen" or "St. Stephen's Day", which is a holiday celebrated on 26 or 27 December, depending on the Western or Eastern church respectively. It is not actually a feast that involved eating a person named Stephen, instead a celebration of the Saint named Stephen.

If you look closely, you can see that the carolers may be a family. The husband and wife are confused by what Black Hat has said, and the daughter is questioning everything her parents have told her.

==Transcript==
:[Three people stand together singing Christmas carols.]
:Carolers (in unison): Good king Wenceslas looked out on the—

:[Black Hat leans out of an above ground window.]
:Black Hat: King Wenceslas massacred my people.

:[The carolers stand in silence, one looks at the others.]

{{comic discussion}}
[[Category:Comics featuring Black Hat]]
[[Category:Music]]

944: Hurricane Names

2016-05-22T01:24:04Z

Will X: /* Explanation */

{{comic
| number = 944
| date = August 29, 2011
| title = Hurricane Names
| image = hurricane_names.png
| titletext = After exhausting the OED, we started numbering them. When overlapping hurricanes formed at all points on the Earth's surface, and our scheme was foiled by Cantor diagonalization, we just decided to name them all "Steve". Your local forecast tomorrow is "Steve". Good luck.
}}

==Explanation==
The {{w|World Meteorological Organization}} (WMO) gives names to hurricanes, going through the alphabet (excluding Q, U, X, Y, and Z) and resetting at "A" at the beginning of the year. For example, the North Atlantic hurricanes in 2012 were named "Alberto", "Beryl", "Chris", "Debby", and so on. If there are more than 21 hurricanes in a season, the 21-letter alphabet becomes exhausted and the hurricanes are named with Greek letters. This has happened only once, in 2005; see [[1126: Epsilon and Zeta|The Saga of Epsilon and Zeta]].

There have never been enough hurricanes in one season to exhaust both the English and Greek alphabet (which would require more than 45 hurricanes in a season; the most so far has been 27), and Randall is hypothesizing what the names would be if this happened. In the comic, the WMO has named the hurricanes using random words out of the {{w|Oxford English Dictionary}} (OED). The humor here is intrinsic: "Hurricane Eggbeater" is a bizarre and hilarious name (and may also refer to how an eggbeater spins and 'destroys' an egg in a similar manner to how a hurricane might affect the surrounding area).

The title text takes this already surreal twist to an even more ridiculous extreme; Randall now makes a joke about set theory. The impossibly long hurricane season exceeds 300,000+ storms, thus exhausting the OED completely, so the WMO starts numbering them 1, 2, 3, 4, etc. This ''countably infinite'' supply of hurricane names works until the number of hurricanes becomes ''uncountably infinite''. A set is countably infinite if it can be mapped one-to-one to the set of natural numbers; for example the set of all '''integers''' and the set of all '''rational numbers''' are both countably infinite, which means that it is possible to number them with natural numbers. However, by a method called {{w|Cantor diagonalization}}, it's possible to prove that the set of '''real numbers''' is uncountably infinite. As points are formed using real numbers and thus there are an uncountably infinite number of hurricanes, the WMO's plan to number them fails. (More pertinently, human civilization is in a ''lot'' of trouble.)

At this point, the meteorologists give up and decide to name all the hurricanes "Steve", which is popular on the internet as an arbitrary, generic name. Ironically, this makes "Steve" no longer arbitrary. The reporter than goes on to tell people that their forecast is "Steve" meaning that the hurricanes are everywhere.

==Transcript==
:[A weather reporter sits behind a desk with an image of the Gulf of Mexico and surrounding land masses displayed to his left. 9 hurricane symbols are scattered across the map, primarily over Cuba.]
:Reporter: After the latest wave of hurricanes, not only have we run through the year's list of 21 names, but we've also used up the backup list of Greek letters. All subsequent storms will be named using random dictionary words.
:Reporter: The newly-formed system in the gulf has been designated "Hurricane Eggbeater", and we once again pray this is the final storm of this horrible, horrible season.

{{comic discussion}}
[[Category:Comics featuring Cueball]]
[[Category:Hurricanes]]

911: Magic School Bus

2016-05-21T16:52:50Z

Will X: /* Explanation */

{{comic
| number = 911
| date = June 13, 2011
| title = Magic School Bus
| image = magic school bus.png
| titletext = At my OLD school, we used Microsoft Encarta 2005.
}}

==Explanation==
"{{w|The Magic School Bus}}" is a series of educational children's books in the US that was adapted in the mid-nineties into an animated television show. The series centers on a class of children whose teacher {{w|Ms. Frizzle}} makes use of the titular magic school bus to take her students on a variety of magical field trips that allow them to experience various scientific topics first hand, such as the inner anatomy of the human body, the effects of friction, what goes on inside a beehive, and many others.

In this comic, however, Ms. Frizzle initially takes the students onto the bus apparently for one of these field trips to explore the way batteries work, but then for whatever reason, she has the students get off the bus again and simply resorts to looking up the {{w|Wikipedia}} article about {{w|Battery (electricity)|batteries}}. The implied joke is that, with the advent on resources like Wikipedia, it's no longer necessary for Ms. Frizzle to take the students on half-hour long trips in the bus to experience whatever phenomenon they are studying that day (which is what the third panel symbolizes) - Wikipedia effectively answers the question quickly and easily. An alternative answer is that Ms. Frizzle has just gotten lazy, and has resorted to looking up the answers to the students' questions on Wikipedia instead of taking them on field trips. The alternative seems more likely, since the third panel shows them still going on an adventure, however briefly it takes to get to the library/computer lab.

The red and white cubed rocket in the bottom of the third panel can possibly be a reference to The Adventures of Tintin, in which Tintin goes to the moon in a rocket that is similar, if not identical, to the one depicted.

The child who is asking the question looks similar to Wanda, one of the regular students in the class who often asked the questions that set the field trips in motion. Ralphie, the student in the second panel with the backward hat, was another student who often asked these questions. The students in the class were shown to be from many backgrounds (i.e. some of the students were black, another was Asian, etc.), something Randall appears not to have added into this comic, despite it being in color.

The title text is a reference to Phoebe, one of the students in Ms. Frizzle's class, who would regularly make a remark beginning with "At my old school..." (Phoebe used to go to a different school, unlike many of the other students in the class) to express wonder at how unusual were the events of Ms. Frizzle's field trips (e.g. "At my old school, we never rode on bees!"). Pheobe actually said that so much that in an episode where she goes back to her old school, the sign out front labels it as "Pheobe's old school".

{{w|Encarta|Microsoft Encarta 2005}} was a digital encyclopedia that was often used in school settings for learning with the aid of computers. Arguably, with the advent of Wikipedia, programs like Encarta have become relatively less widely used, which is part of the joke in the title text.

==Transcript==
:[A girl sits at a desk in a classroom, and the teacher stands before her. The teacher has a blue dress and blonde hair piled on her head in a bun. The girl raises her hand, the teacher raises both arms above her head, a pointer in one hand.]
:Girl: Ms. Frizzle, how do batteries work?
:Ms. Frizzle: To the bus!

:[Ms. Frizzle and the children are shown getting onto the bus.]

:[The bus, with Ms. Frizzle at the helm and a child's face in every window, soars through a rainbow void filled with a giant amoeba, a rocket, an epicyclic gear, a planet with rings, and a Feynman diagram.]

:[The bus is parked, and the occupants have gotten out. The children stand around Ms. Frizzle, and she stands at a desk with a computer on it, typing.]
Computer: WIKIPEDIA - BATTERIES

{{comic discussion}}
[[Category:Comics with color]]
[[Category:Wikipedia]]

862: Let Go

2016-05-21T16:26:05Z

Will X: /* Explanation */ Removed ''Generals' because it is unknown what rank the man is.

{{comic
| number = 862
| date = February 18, 2011
| title = Let Go
| image = let go.png
| titletext = After years of trying various methods, I broke this habit by pitting my impatience against my laziness. I decoupled the action and the neurological reward by setting up a simple 30-second delay I had to wait through, in which I couldn't do anything else, before any new page or chat client would load (and only allowed one to run at once). The urge to check all those sites magically vanished--and my 'productive' computer use was unaffected.
}}

==Explanation==
It is human nature to lose interest in difficult or boring tasks, and instead do something easier, more interesting or more rewarding in the short term. While procrastination and distraction from more important tasks has always been present, this comic casts a light on the internet and the huge potential for distraction which it provides.

The first two frames in this comic are the set-up, and contain the websites {{w|CNN}} and {{w|Reddit}} and thoughts over the top of them. These types of websites are regularly updated with new content are prime candidates for distraction. The thought bubbles indicate that the reader is fully aware that they shouldn't be looking at these websites, but is unable to stop himself. Even the very rational thought that checking news stories more than once a day is bordering on pointless doesn't seem to stop him.

In the third frame, it starts to look a little different as the screen is not a computer but is in fact the targeting computer from {{w|Luke Skywalker|Luke Skywalker's}} {{w|X-wing}}. At this point it becomes clear that there are ''far'' more important tasks at hand, namely flying the craft. Even then, Luke has in internal conflict and considers checking {{w|Facebook}}, but mentally checks himself, and to prevent himself from further compulsive browsing shuts down the system. The thought bubble at the bottom is one that is probably familiar to many people (especially students), where he realizes that he has to turn off the computer to actually concentrate on the important task.

In the fourth frame, we finally get the movie reference from {{w|Star Wars}} as {{w|Princess Leia}} and one of the Rebel Alliance's officers are gathered around the holographic table that allows them to follow the battle. In the movie, Luke turns off his targeting computer because he uses the [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Force_%28Star_Wars%29 force] to fire the torpedoes at the right time. But in this comic, Luke turns off the computer because he keeps getting distracted by Reddit and CNN. When they ask whether he is alright, he responds in the way most people would who have nearly been caught wasting time on the internet. This is however a quote of what he actually replies in the movie.

See the [http://youtu.be/DOFgFAcGHQc Destruction of Death Star] scene on YouTube. The ''Let Go'' remark from {{w|Obi-Wan Kenobi}} that had given the title to this comic occurs about [http://youtu.be/DOFgFAcGHQc?t=2m two minutes into the clip]. Though here it is a reference to let go of refreshing websites...

The headlines on CNN read 'Bees?', 'Where is {{w|Oman}}?', and 'iReport (we mean you, that is.)'.

The headline ''Bees?'' could be a reference to {{w|Cards Against Humanity}}. One of the white cards says exactly that. It could also just be a question to the picture above - if it was bees following the guy.

The headline ''Where is Oman?'' is below a map where land is white. It shows Cyprus, Northern Egypt and the Middle East with the Mediterranean Sea, the Red Sea and the Persian Gulf (seas are grey). Oman is not on this map as it is not situated on the Persian Gulf; it's on the Gulf of Oman and on the Arabian Sea, both of which can be considered parts of the Indian Ocean.

The title text is a serious solution to a procrastination problem that we see in the comic, [http://blog.xkcd.com/2011/02/18/distraction-affliction-correction-extensio/ later explained] to take the form of simply rebooting the computer.

==Transcript==
:[Reddit page.]
:Luke (thinking): I shouldn't be looking at Reddit. Why can't I stop?

:[CNN page.]
:Luke (thinking): Refreshing CNN again. Do news stories so affect my life that I benefit from checking them more than once a day?

:[Shutdown screen.]
:Luke (thinking): I should at least check Faceb... no. Screw it. I can't do my job when I'm distracting myself every five minutes like this.

:[Two people before a battlefield screen.]
:Cueball: His computer's off. Luke - You've switched off your targeting computer. What's wrong?
:Luke: Nothing. I'm all right.

{{comic discussion}}
[[Category:Comics with color]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Cueball]]
[[Category:Star Wars]]
[[Category:Internet]]

858: Milk

2016-05-21T16:23:01Z

Will X: /* Explanation */

{{comic
| number = 858
| date = February 9, 2011
| title = Milk
| image = milk.png
| titletext = It's not hard when you have the same thought like 40 or 50 percent of the time.
}}

==Explanation==
[[Megan]] and [[Cueball]] are sitting quietly, engaged in their own solo pursuits. Without any preamble, Megan answers a question that has not been asked, pointing out to Cueball that he would not be able to obtain milk from her breasts right now, as she is not {{w|lactation|lactating}}. Cueball is flabbergasted that she seems to have read his mind, as this was exactly what he was wondering.

This comic is a comment on the fascination and sheer lack of knowledge that men have about women's bodies in general, and their breasts in particular.

Megan, like any other adult female {{w|mammal}}, is capable of producing milk from her mammary glands. However, this facility is not always available; Megan would have to get pregnant and give birth to trigger the bodily changes that result in lactation. This is unless she can perform lactation without pregnancy. It is possible, but extremely hard.

In the third panel, Megan's legs are not seen, probably tucked under the armchair to feel more secure.

The title text indicates that this is not proof of Megan's psychic powers, as Cueball seems quite obsessed with this particular topic. Although if you interpret it as a response to Cueball's thoughts in the last panel it could remain ambiguous.

==Transcript==
:[Couple sitting opposed, Megan on couch reading book and Cueball a chair with a laptop.]
:Megan: The fact that I have breasts doesn't mean you could milk me now. I'd have to be lactating.
:[A beat passes.]
:Cueball (thinking): Oh my god she's psychic.

{{comic discussion}}
[[Category:Comics featuring Cueball]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Megan]]
[[Category:Sex]]
[[Category:Computers]]

780: Sample

2016-05-17T21:17:05Z

Will X: /* Explanation */

{{comic
| number = 780
| date = August 16, 2010
| title = Sample
| image = sample.png
| titletext = There are two or three songs out there with beeps in the chorus that sound exactly like the clock radio alarm I had in high school, and hearing it makes me think my life since junior year has been a dream I'm about to wake up from.
}}

==Explanation==
This strip suggests that even a band with the most brilliant and catchy music would soon become the most hated band in the world if it included sound effects of car horns, cell phones, or alarm clocks in its songs. Listeners would mistake the sound effects for the real thing.

For comparison, "{{w|Indiana Wants Me}}", a 1970 hit single by {{w|R. Dean Taylor}}, had the sound of police sirens removed from later pressings because drivers were reportedly mistaking the sound effects for actual police cars and pulling over.

This can also be a reference to an unusual anti-piracy method, where P2P and Torrent networks are seeded with altered copies of songs that contain obnoxious sounds at random points.

The title text refers to the common sensation of having sounds from the real-world incorporated into a dream, especially as one is waking up. This gives a (false) sensation that is the reverse of the dream described in [[557: Students]]. It implies that the author has been dreaming his entire life since his junior year of high school.

==Transcript==
:HOW TO BECOME THE MOST HATED BAND IN THE WORLD:
:Record an album that's nothing but brilliant, catchy instant classics guaranteed popularity and airtime,
:[Cueball at the steering wheel of a car.]
:Music: So far from hooome but I can't sto— HONK
:Cueball: AUGH! WHAT?
:With a sample of a car horn, cell phone, or alarm clock inserted randomly in each song.

{{comic discussion}}
[[Category:Comics featuring Cueball]]
[[Category:Music]]

731: Desert Island

2016-05-16T11:56:31Z

Will X: /* Explanation */

{{comic
| number = 731
| date = April 23, 2010
| title = Desert Island
| image = desert_island.png
| titletext = Telescopes and bathyscapes and sonar probes of Scottish lakes, Tacoma Narrows bridge collapse explained with abstract phase-space maps, some x-ray slides, a music score, Minard's Napoleonic war: the most exciting new frontier is charting what's already here.
}}

==Explanation==
This comic is making the point that there is a wonderful world waiting to be explored in the ocean. From above it seems so plain, endless, and boring. But underneath the surface lies the most unexplored area on the planet. This comic is a commentary on the need to head below the waves and start exploring.

[[Cueball]] sits (maybe writing in a diary?) on a desert island which is really a mountain of which only the sandy tip with a palm tree on it stands above the water. Beneath the surface is:
* A kelp forest
* Three sharks
* A stingray
* An eel
* A shipwreck
* A submarine following a small school of fish (it should be noted that if Cueball tried, he could make contact with the submarine and get home)
* Three large jellyfish
* A giant squid fighting a sperm whale
* A crashed plane
* Coral formations
* A thermal vent emitting a plume of smoke surrounded by several annelids
* A snail

The most important items from the title text are:
*A {{w|Bathyscaphe|bathyscape}} is a deep sea submersible: a submarine for exploring the ocean floor.
*Some Scottish loch are very deep, especially those in the {{w|Great Glen}}. There may also be a reference to the famous {{w|Loch Ness}}.
*The {{w|Tacoma Narrows Bridge (1940)|Tacoma Narrows Bridge}} collapsed when wind blowing over the bridge caused it to oscillate wildly. When the oscillations changed from one mode to another, they grew in amplitude until the bridge failed dramatically.
*{{w|Charles Joseph Minard|Charles Minard}} did a visualization of the losses incurred by Napoleons army in its attempt to conquer Russia.

The title text itself is a poem:
Telescopes and bathyscapes
and sonar probes of Scottish lakes,
Tacoma Narrows bridge collapse
explained with abstract phase-space maps,
some x-ray slides, a music score,
Minard's Napoleonic war:
the most exciting new frontier
is charting what's already here.

==Transcript==
:[Cueball sits writing in a diary on a desert island, only the sandy tip of which with a palm tree on it stands above the water. Beneath the surface is a kelp forest, some sharks, a stingray, a shipwreck, a submarine, several large jellyfish, a giant squid fighting a sperm whale, a crashed plane, some coral formations, a thermal vent emitting a plume of smoke surrounded by several annelids, and a snail.]

:Cueball: Day 44: Still stranded, with nothing but flat empty water as far as the eye can see.

{{comic discussion}}
[[Category:Comics featuring Cueball]]
[[Category:Comics with color]]
[[Category:Sharks]]

679: Christmas Plans

2016-05-08T16:17:45Z

Will X: /* Explanation */

{{comic
| number = 679
| date = December 23, 2009
| title = Christmas Plans
| image = christmas_plans.png
| titletext = Physicists who want to protect traditional Christmas realize that the only way to keep from changing Christmas is not to observe it.
}}

==Explanation==
This comic centers around a joke about {{w|Quantum Entanglement}} in physics - if you don't observe something, it has all possible states, not a specific one. It is a double-entendre with the word ''observe'' meaning both "look at" (physics sense) and "celebrate" (a holiday). One of the most famous examples on this is the {{w|Schrödinger's cat}} paradox.

In this comic, a Jewish physicist does not know when Christmas is. Being a physicist, he believes that since he doesn't observe Christmas, it therefore has no definite date.

The title text refers to another principle in physics where the act of measuring something must also change it in some way. If one drops a thermometer into into a mug of water, energy spent (or released) when heating (or cooling) the mercury in the thermometer changes the temperature of the water in the mug by a small amount. The only way not to interfere with the temperature of the water in the mug is not to measure it.

==Transcript==
:[Cueball is standing behind a friend, who is sitting at a computer.]
:Cueball: Hey, will you be in town the day after Christmas?
:Friend: Couldn't say—
:Friend: I'm Jewish.

:Cueball: But... how does being Jewish keep you from knowing your plans?
:Friend: I know my plans—
:Friend: I just don't know when Christmas is.

:Cueball: Really? Why not look it up?
:Friend: Well, I'm also a physicist.

:Cueball: So?
:Friend: I believe that since I don't observe Christmas, it can't ''have'' a definite date.

{{comic discussion}}
[[Category:Comics featuring Cueball]]
[[Category:Physics]]
[[Category:Christmas]]

1655: Doomsday Clock

2016-05-02T11:42:05Z

Will X: /* Explanation */

{{comic
| number = 1655
| date = March 14, 2016
| title = Doomsday Clock
| image = doomsday_clock.png
| titletext = After a power outage at the Bulletin of the Atomic Scientists, the new Digital Doomsday Clock is flashing 00:00 and mushroom clouds keep appearing and then retracting once a second.
}}

==Explanation==
The {{w|Bulletin of the Atomic Scientists}} is an academic journal which has a recurring feature known as the {{w|Doomsday Clock}}, which shows the Bulletin's judgment on the current state of the world. The idea is that when the clock hits midnight, the world ends (originally conceived as in a {{w|nuclear war}}), so how close the clock is to midnight is a scale of the world's current state of risk. Its current setting is at "three minutes to midnight" (11:57 PM or 23:57).

{{w|Daylight saving time}} (DST) is a feature in many countries where in the summer months, everyone moves their clock forward an hour to artificially postpone sunset and thereby have a longer time of sunlight in the afternoon. The day before this comic came out, most of the United States switched from standard time to DST.

[[Cueball]] is inside the office of the Bulletin of the Atomic Scientists and comes across the Doomsday Clock, which is apparently an actual clock. Citing a {{w|mnemonic}}, "Spring forward, fall back", referring to which direction to move the hour hand in the season when DST begins or ends, he pushes the hour hand forward one hour, so instead of the world being three minutes ''from'' the end of the world, it is now 57 minutes ''into'' it, so the final panel simply shows the world erupting in a {{w|Dr. Strangelove|''Dr. Strangelove''}}-esque [https://youtu.be/NFkryh6hC-k?t=23s nuclear apocalypse], with the typical mushroom cloud shape, with a ring around the stem, which is also displayed in the Wikipedia page on {{w|nuclear weapons}}.

This is an absurdist joke confusing the Doomsday Clock with an actual clock; the Doomsday Clock is a subjective measurement of risk, not of time, and as such is not subject to Daylight Savings Time. Furthermore, in the comic the Doomsday Clock does not just measure the world's risk but actively controls it; even if the Doomsday Clock were affected by DST, the doomsday scenario notably does not occur until Cueball adjusts the clock. Also Cueball would only ever adjust the clock like this, if he happened to come by just when the real time was 12:57 the day after DST (as it is not clear from an analog clock if it is AM or PM). When he spots the clock showing 11:57 at 12:57 he just thinks someone has forgotten this particular clock, (which happens a lot the day after DST), and he is thus just helpfully adjusting to the new correct DST time.

The title text continues on this same theme, with the digital doomsday clock (apparently it has now been replaced by a digital one, maybe Cueball broke the old analog one) being reset by a power outage. Many [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_0fdc_D38-c digital clocks blink] 00:00 once per second after a power outage, only stopping when the clock is reset. This is interpreted as the world actually blinking in and out of the Doomsday Clock's midnight, so nuclear explosions thus naturally appear and disappear in sync with the clock.

This once more underlines the entire point of this comic, that it makes no sense to have such a clock. Many people, including [[Randall]], also believe that DST also makes little sense today, so maybe this is why the two are connected in this comic. Randall has mocked DST both in [[1061: EST]], and later in the title text of [[1268: Alternate Universe]]. This could be an attempt by Randall to
show how bad he thinks DST is.

Another doomsday clock was used in [[1159: Countdown]], although here it was for a {{w|supervolcano}} eruption. A nuclear bomb, not yet exploded but with a short countdown, was the facilitator of the joke in [[1168: tar]].

Within a year before this comics release Randall made several other comics about nuclear weapons, most recently January of 2016 with [[1626: Judgment Day]], and before that these two in 2015, [[1539: Planning]] and [[1520: Degree-Off]]. Nuclear weapons are also mentioned twice in ''[[Thing Explainer]]'', specifically they are explained in the explanation for ''Machine for burning cities'' about {{w|Thermonuclear weapon|thermonuclear bombs}}, but they are also mentioned in ''Boat that goes under the sea'' about a submarine that caries nukes. All three comics and both explanations in the book, does like this comic, comment on how crazy it is that we have created enough firepower to obliterate Earth several times (or at least scourge it for any human life).

==Transcript==
:[Above a clock that shows 3 minutes to 12:]
:Bulletin of the Atomic Scientists
:<big>Doomsday Clock</big>

:[Cueball enters the frame from the left and walks up the clock while looking up at it.]
:Bulletin of the Atomic Scientists
:<big>Doomsday Clock</big>
:Cueball: Oh hey, spring forward.

:[Cueball grabs hold of the hour hand on the clock and adjust it one hour ahead to 3 minutes to 1.]
:Bulletin of the Atomic Scientists
:<big>Doomsday Clock</big>

:[Nuclear apocalypse with one large central mushroom cloud, with a typical ring around the central stem, two other mushroom clouds are behind it left and right as well as three smaller ones near (or even partly under) the horizon. There are also three smaller explosion in the air.]

{{comic discussion}}
[[Category:Comics featuring Cueball]]
[[Category:Time]]

666: Silent Hammer

2016-04-30T15:31:26Z

Will X: /* Explanation */

{{comic
| number =666
| date =November 23, 2009
| title =Silent Hammer
| image =silent_hammer.png
| titletext ='I bet he'll keep quiet for a couple weeks and then-- wait, did you nail a piece of scrap wood to my antique table a moment ago?'
}}
==Explanation==
[[Black Hat]] has created a set of tools that work in complete silence so that he can go to the house of the chairman of the {{w|The Skeptics Society|American Skeptics Society}} late at night, do some rearranging of walls and moving of windows, just to screw with him in typical Black Hat fashion. A {{w|skeptic}} is someone who questions knowledge, facts and beliefs, especially of supernatural phenomena like the existence of {{w|poltergeists}} which Black Hat is trying to imitate with his rearranging and scratching noises.

The American Skeptics Society is a non-profit organization dedicated to promoting skeptical and critical thinking in education and public discourse. The executive diretor and chief editor of the {{w|Skeptic_(U.S._magazine)|Skeptic Magazine}}, {{w|Michael Shermer}}, is a leading proponent of skepticism, and has written many books and articles debunking pseudoscience, fringe science, quack medicine, alien abductions, conspiracy theories and supernatural phenomena. The Skeptic Society website [http://www.skeptic.com] and Skeptic magazine feature a lot of material debunking anecdotal accounts of these phenomena, explaining how events like "hauntings" could have occurred without supernatural intervention.

One of the premises of modern skepticism is that the supernatural is not rejected out of hand; if a skeptic ever encountered an event with no possible explanation other than a supernatural one, he would be forced to acknowledge the existence of that type of supernatural force or entity. Skeptics maintain that no such event has ever occurred. Black Hat's prank is designed to give Mr. Shermer a seemingly supernatural experience that he would not be able to debunk, so he would have to accept a supernatural explanation, to the detriment of his life's work and that of the society he runs.

In the title text Cueball realizes that Black Hat has (probably intentionally) ruined his antique table by demonstrating his silent hammer.

Black Hat's tools are seen in two boxes labelled "drills" and "non-drills", likely a reference to the phrase "this is not a drill", used to differentiate an emergent situation from a practice of procedure for such.

The particularly evil nature of this comic (even for Black Hat) might be because this is comic number 666, which is the "number of the beast".

==Transcript==
:[Black Hat is hammering something on a table.]
:Cueball: What—
:Black Hat: Silent hammer. I've made a set of silent tools.
:Cueball: Why?
:Hammer: ''woosh woosh woosh''

:Black Hat: Stealth carpentry. Breaking into a house at night and moving windows, adjusting walls, etc.
:[He takes his silent hammer over to a tool bench with other things on it. Two boxes underneath are labeled "Drills" and "Non-Drills."]

:Black Hat, narrating: After a week or so of questioning his own sanity, the owner will stay up to watch the house at night. I'll make scratching noises in the walls, pipe in knockout gas, move him up to his bed, and never bother him again.
:[The events he's describing are shown in two mini-panels below.]

:Cueball, off-panel: Nice prank, I guess, but what's the point?
:Black Hat: Check out the owner's card, on the table.
:Cueball, off-panel: Chair of the American Skeptics Society? Oh, god.
:Black Hat: Yeah, this doesn't end well for him.

==Trivia==
The comic number is 666, which is the "mark of the beast" according to the book of Revelation in the Christian Bible.

{{comic discussion}}
[[Category:Comics featuring Cueball]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Black Hat]]

655: Climbing

2016-04-30T15:17:08Z

Will X: /* Explanation */

{{comic
| number = 655
| date = October 28, 2009
| title = Climbing
| image = climbing.png
| titletext = Where did you even get this wall? Return it there and stand it back up right now.
}}

==Explanation==
This comic makes fun of a certain type of images very common on the internet. Those pictures are taken with a camera turned by 90° or rotated later by software, thus creating the illusion of people walking on walls or ceilings. While the original pictures depict the physical impossibility of a rotated {{w|gravitational force}}, Cueball uses the aforementioned technique to create pictures of himself on a {{w|climbing wall}}. Megan approaches him from above the wall, indicating that the climbing wall is in fact lying on the floor. It becomes clear that Cueball was not able to climb a real wall and therefore crawled on the floor with his camera adjusted accordingly.

Her comment is a sideswipe on the practise of self-display on {{w|Facebook}}, which is often done with the help of {{w|image manipulation}}.

The title text implies that Cueball has in fact stolen a real climbing wall, and that Megan wants him to return it.

==Transcript==
:[Cueball is apparently ascending a climbing wall.]

:[We see him again in profile, as well as the edge of another person standing at a ninety degree angle to him with her feet on the wall above him.]

:[Cueball stops and looks up at Megan, who is standing on the "vertical" wall, looking at him.]

:Megan: Your facebook rock climbing pictures just got a lot less impressive.

{{comic discussion}}
[[Category:Comics featuring Megan]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Cueball]]

Category:Comics featuring Ron Paul

2016-04-29T22:13:46Z

Will X: Added image

{{w|Ron Paul}} is a US politician, serving as a member of the {{w|United States House of Representatives|House of Representatives}} for a Congressional district in Texas. While technically a member of the Republican Party, his politics are extremely {{w|libertarianism|libertarian}} and not accepted by mainstream Republicans. His philosophy of small government calls for the end of the wars on terror and drugs as being contrary to the proper role of the Federal government, as well as costly and ineffective. These policies have made him popular among independent-minded geeks. That philosophy also calls for the end of the war on poverty, elimination of Federal support for education, and elimination of Federal civil rights protections, also as being contrary to the proper role of the Federal government. These policies have made him unpopular with just about everyone else.

[[File:RonPaul.jpeg]]

{{navbox-characters}}
[[Category:Comics featuring politicians|Ron Paul]]

498: Secretary: Part 5

2016-04-29T21:56:11Z

Will X: /* Explanation */

{{comic
| number = 498
| date = October 31, 2008
| title = Secretary: Part 5
| image = secretary part 5.png
| titletext = And they choose Al Gore as Internet Secretary.
}}

==Explanation==
This is the 5th and final comic in the Secretary story-arc. The cumulation has [[Black Hat]] up to his usual shenanigans in the {{w|United States Senate chamber|US Senate chamber room}}.

Of course, [[playpen balls]] have been the topic of many comics before. Notably [[150: Grownups]].

The other reference of note is of the Tron universe. {{w|Tron (video game)|Tron}} was an arcade game, based on the {{w|Tron (movie)|movie}} of the same name, and both released in 1982. The characters would play on a grid in lightcycles which left behind walls of light. The objective of the game was to force the opponent to run into the wall of light, similar to the {{w|Snake (game)|Snake game}}. Obviously, there is no such grid by the Capitol.

There are also two obvious procedural irregularities in the comic. First, a candidate cannot be nominated (a prerequisite for a nomination hearing) without the President sending the candidate's name to the Senate. Second, the Senate or a Senate committee cannot sentence a person to death, as that is a role for the courts.

{{w|Al Gore}} was the {{w|Vice President of the United States|Vice President}} under President {{w|Bill Clinton}} and ran as the Democratic nominee for President in 2000.

Al Gore has had {{w|Al Gore and information technology|quite a history with the Internet}}, including one oft-misquoted (rather, quoted out of context) interview with CNN in which he told {{w|Wolf Blitzer}}, "During my service in the United States Congress, I took the initiative in creating the Internet." Many spun this to mean he claimed to have actually invented the Internet himself, although its pioneers agreed with Gore's assessment.

All comics in the [[:Category:Secretary|Secretary]] series:
*[[494: Secretary: Part 1]]
*[[495: Secretary: Part 2]]
*[[496: Secretary: Part 3]]
*[[497: Secretary: Part 4]]
*498: Secretary: Part 5 (this one)

This series was released on 5 consecutive days (Monday-Friday) and not over the usual Monday/Wednesday/Friday schedule.

==Transcript==
:[The Senate. Black Hat sits before the committee at his hearing to become Internet Secretary.]
:Chairman: We were convened here to review your nomination for the position of internet secretary.

:Chairman: However, on review of your qualifications, we've decided to sentence you to death.

:Chairman: An unorthodox move, sure. But the vote was unanimous.
:[Black Hat is leaning back in his chair.]

:[Meanwhile...]
:Tron Paul: There's no grid! How do I steeeeer!!!!!

:[Back at the Senate. Black Hat is standing.]
:Black Hat: Well, it's been fun. But I was never actually interested in taking the position. Good lord; listening to internet arguments all day? No thank you.

:Chairman: Then why did you sit through all those hearings?

:Black Hat: It was taking us a while to move the pumps into the maintenance tunnels.

:[The committee members murmur among themselves.]

:[There is a panel in the floor between Black Hat and the committee.]
:''RUMBLE''
:''plink plink''

:[A red playpen ball bursts out of the panel and rolls towards the committee chairman.]
:''plink''

:[The room is still. Black Hat's arms are folded.]

:[A geyser of red, white, and blue playpen balls bursts through the panel in the floor. Black Hat is already gone.]
:''FOOM''

:[The committee members chase Black Hat out the door as the Senate floor floods with playpen balls.]

:[The chase continues into the rotunda, as does the flood of playpen balls.]

:[Black Hat stands in the middle of the rotunda as it fills with playpen balls, surrounded by members of the committee.]
:Committee Members: Security! Someone!
:Committee Members: Get Him!

:[Tron Paul bursts through the wall.]
:''CRASH''
:Tron Paul: Aaaaa!

:[Black Hat grabs the bottom of the lightcycle as Tron Paul goes by.]
:''snag''
:Tron Paul: Hey!

:[Black Hat swings onto the top of the light cycle.]

:[Black Hat crouches on top of the light cycle.]
:Tron Paul: Get Off!

:[Tron Paul and Black Hat crash through the far wall of the rotunda.]
:''CRASH''

:[Tron Paul hits the ground.]
:''WHAM''
:Tron Paul: Ow!

:[Black Hat runs away.]
:Tron Paul: Ughhh.

:[The lightcycle disappears.]
:Tron Paul: I feel queasy...
:Cory Doctorow, above: Hey!
:Black Hat: Hi, Cory.
:Cory Doctorow: Need a lift?
:Black Hat: Sure.

:{Black Hat and Cory Doctorow depart in Doctorow's balloon.}
:Cory Doctorow: So are you, like, a fugitive now?
:Black Hat: Well, I never did give them my name...

:[But in the rotunda]
:[Senators play in the playpen balls.]
:Senators: Let's jump down here from the balcony!
:Senators: Senior senators first!
:Senators: Wheeee!
:Senators: I'm a submarine!
:[All is forgiven.]

{{comic discussion}}
[[Category:Comics featuring Black Hat]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Cory Doctorow]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Ron Paul]]
[[Category:Playpen balls]]
[[Category:Secretary|05]]
[[Category:Comics with color]]

Category:Comics featuring Ron Paul

2016-04-29T00:02:33Z

Will X:

{{w|Ron Paul}} is a US politician, serving as a member of the {{w|United States House of Representatives|House of Representatives}} for a Congressional district in Texas. While technically a member of the Republican Party, his politics are extremely {{w|libertarianism|libertarian}} and not accepted by mainstream Republicans. His philosophy of small government calls for the end of the wars on terror and drugs as being contrary to the proper role of the Federal government, as well as costly and ineffective. These policies have made him popular among independent-minded geeks. That philosophy also calls for the end of the war on poverty, elimination of Federal support for education, and elimination of Federal civil rights protections, also as being contrary to the proper role of the Federal government. These policies have made him unpopular with just about everyone else.

{{navbox-characters}}
[[Category:Comics featuring politicians|Ron Paul]]

Category:Comics featuring Ron Paul

2016-04-29T00:02:19Z

Will X:

{{w|Ron Paul}} is a US politician, serving as a member of the {{w|United States House of Representatives|House of Representatives}} for a Congressional district in Texas. While technically a member of the Republican Party, his politics are extremely {{w|libertarianism|libertarian}} and not accepted by mainstream Republicans. His philosophy of small government calls for the end of the wars on terror and drugs as being contrary to the proper role of the Federal government, as well as costly and ineffective. These policies have made him popular among independent-minded geeks. That philosophy also calls for the end of the war on poverty, elimination of Federal support for education, and elimination of Federal civil rights protections, also as being contrary to the proper role of the Federal government. These policies have made him unpopular with just about everyone else.

{{navbox-characters}}
[[Category:Comics featuring politicians|Ron Paul]]
/Users/Jane/Desktop/Unknown-1.jpeg

Category talk:Comics featuring Ron Paul

2016-04-29T00:01:39Z

Will X: Created page with "I think we should add a picture of Ron Paul. Does anyone else agree? ~~~~"

I think we should add a picture of Ron Paul. Does anyone else agree?

[[User:Will X|Will X]] ([[User talk:Will X|talk]]) 00:01, 29 April 2016 (UTC)

647: Scary

2016-04-26T02:33:14Z

Will X: /* Explanation */ Removed "Uncle".

{{comic
| number = 647
| date = October 9, 2009
| title = Scary
| image = scary.png
| titletext = I'm teaching every 8-year-old relative to say this, and every 14-year-old to do the same thing with Toy Story. Also, Pokemon hit the US over a decade ago and kids born after Aladdin came out will turn 18 next year.
}}

==Explanation==
[[Rob]] is telling his eight-year-old nephew a ghost story, employing such stereotyped devices as a flash light-lit face and stock ghost story endings.

Rob's nephew thus characterizes the ghost story as "lame," meaning that it was unimpressive or unconvincingly feeble. His uncle Rob asks him if he can come up with something scarier. Sure he says and offers the much scarier notion that even though he has been born after {{w|9/11}} he is already old enough to be able to have this kind of conversation.

No hidden meaning here, but this sure is scary for many adults. What's being implied here is that time seems to be moving really quickly and we're getting older faster than we think. Events that seem like they "just happened" have happened long enough ago for a whole other person to come into existence, grow up, and learn to carry on a conversation. Every time we get reminded of this fact, it can be scary, as you then realize that you are now closer to your death...

9/11 was a terrorist attack in the United States in 2001, on September 11th. Major events such as the assassination of {{w|Assassination of John F. Kennedy|Kennedy}}, the Moon Landing of {{w|Apollo 11}} or 9/11 are easily memorable. It is often said that "everyone remembers where they were when they first heard...". In consequence, these events act as milestones in our memory. They are recalled more vividly, and seem more recent. Today this is maybe also topping the {{w|Attack on Pearl Harbor}} happened in 1941.

The title text mentions that [[Randall]] is teaching his 8 year old relatives to say the same as in the comic — presumably to the annoyance of his older relatives who will be reminded of the fast passage of time. He does not stop here, but teaches the 14 year old's to say they are born after {{w|Toy Story}} — a major block buster hit from {{w|Pixar}} which came out in 1995. A movie many people will remember fondly and feel just came out the other day... He continues with these scary thoughts by mentioning that {{w|Pokémon}} (1996) came out over a decade ago and that kids born after the big {{w|Disney}} hit movie {{w|Aladdin_(1992_Disney_film)|Aladdin}} from 1992 will turn 18 next year (i.e. in 2010 a year after this comic was published).

[[Randall]] has since this comic tried to make people feel old several times in [[891: Movie Ages]], [[973: MTV Generation]], [[1393: Timeghost]], [[1477: Star Wars]], and [[1624: 2016]]

==Transcript==
:[First panel: Rob and his nephew are sitting on the ground. Rob is holding a flash-light up to his face.]
:Rob: But they ''never found the ghost's head!''
:Nephew: Lame story, Uncle Rob.
:Rob: And you could do scarier?
:Nephew: Sure.

:[Second panel: Rob has removed the flash-light from his face.]
:Rob: Try me.
:Nephew: 9/11 happened before I was born, yet I'm old enough to have this conversation with you.

:[Third panel: Rob has dropped the flash-light.]

:[Last panel: Rob has curled up and wrapped his arms around himself.]

{{comic discussion}}
[[Category:Comics featuring Rob]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Cueball]]
[[Category:Comics to make one feel old]]

641: Free

2016-04-26T02:28:46Z

Will X: /* Explanation */

{{comic
| number = 641
| date = September 25, 2009
| title = Free
| image = free.png
| titletext = Asbestos is bad; definitely get the one on the right. Wait -- this one over here has no swine flu! Now I can't decide.
}}

==Explanation==
{{w|Asbestos}} is a fibrous material most commonly used for its heat-resistant properties. It was commonly used in housing insulation until its astonishingly destructive effects on human lungs were known. The use of asbestos in housing is now banned, but it is still quite common in laboratory hot pads, as well as in concrete industrial buildings where the risk of it getting into the air is minimal.

The comic depicts a common advertising trick taken to an absurd extreme; quite clearly all of the cereal products depicted are asbestos-free, but most have opted not to advertise the fact because it should be obvious. A more realistic example can be found in {{w|Confectionery|confectionery}} products, wherein the term "fat free" might be applied when it's clear that sugar, gelatin, and other ingredients involved in the product are in no way related to, or contain, fat.

Ironically, the "asbestos-free" disclaimer could also cause a customer to ''distrust'' the product on the grounds of {{w|Damning with faint praise|damning by faint praise}} - if the best thing they can say about a product is that it doesn't contain a toxic building material, do we really want to know what actually ''is'' in this stuff?

The claim in the title text - that the product has no {{w|swine flu}} - is equally superfluous, as any food product containing disease-causing viruses would be subject to recalls, severe fines, and quite a few people losing their jobs; the fact that the product is actually on a supermarket shelf implies that it already has a stellar reputation for not causing serious illness. The use of it here could also be a reference to [[574: Swine Flu]].

[http://ghostbusters.wikia.com/wiki/Stay_Puft_Marshmallows Stay Puft] is also the company that produces marshmallows in the movie franchise [[wikipedia:Ghostbusters_%28franchise%29| Ghostbusters]].

[http://redfarmnyc.com/ RedFarm] is a Chinese restaurant in NYC.

Misleading advertising is also the subject of the previous comic [[624: Branding]], and of subsequent comics [[870: Advertising]] and [[993: Brand Identity]].

==Transcript==
:[A shelf holds 3 boxes of cereal. Each box shows a bowl of cereal.]
:GenCo Ⓞat Cereal
:StayPuft Oat Cereal
:RedFarm Oat Cereal (with additional text in a star) Asbestos-free!
:I hate whatever marketer first realized you could do this.

{{comic discussion}}

User:Will X

2016-04-26T02:22:02Z

Will X:

I'm a huge XKCD fan. My favorite character is [[Black Hat]].

User talk:Will X

2016-04-26T02:21:16Z

Will X: Created page with "Not much to put here. _ ~~~~"

Not much to put here.

_
[[User:Will X|Will X]] ([[User talk:Will X|talk]]) 02:21, 26 April 2016 (UTC)

603: Idiocracy

2016-04-26T01:11:35Z

Will X: /* Explanation */

{{comic
| number = 603
| date = June 29, 2009
| title = Idiocracy
| image = idiocracy.png
| titletext = People aren't going to change, for better or for worse. Technology's going to be so cool. All in all, the future will be okay! Except climate; we fucked that one up.
}}

==Explanation==
The title of this comic is a reference to the dystopian comedy ''{{w|Idiocracy}}''. The film postulates that over about 500 years, society will suffer from a massive decrease in intellectual potential. This development is attributed to the fact that people with a lower IQ are believed to be more likely to reproduce thus more readily pass on their genes.

[[Cueball]] professes his approval for the theories represented in the film, and Domed Hat agrees with him, lamenting the gradual decay in intelligence and education. But in panel 3, Domed Hat suddenly reveals that all the "facts" he cited were wrong, and we learn that he doesn't support the dysgenic thesis at all. He turns to accuse Cueball of conceited self-righteousness (using religious zealots as an analogy), harshly condemning intelligence dysgenics as an excuse for feeling superior to the rest of society. Cueball's suggestion of {{w|Birth control movement in the United States|birth control}} for the unintelligent only furthers his attitude. Although it is not named, one thing at work here is the {{w|Dunning-Kruger effect}} — that stupid people don't realize they're stupid.

Domed Hat's punchline, playing on Cueball's birth control suggestion, is a direct insult: it would be better to reproduce with a stupid person than an elitist like Cueball.

It's pretty clear here that [[Randall]] is voicing his opinion through Domed Hat, and using Cueball as a straw man.

The title text reflects the opinion. It makes a few cheery comments on the future, but then finishes on a rather sour note about {{w|climate change}}.

In fact, a negative correlation between intelligence and fertility is disputed, see the wikipedia article on the accumulation of disadvantageous genes: {{w|dysgenics}}. And regardless of this the actual absolute IQs in modern societies have been rising, see {{w|Flynn effect}}. This can be paraphrased with the statement, that if the generation of our grandparents would take a today's IQ test, they would barely score an IQ of 70 and be at the limit of intellectual disability.

It should be noted that Domed Hat may be an early version of [[White Hat]], who has the exact opposite personality depicted here.

==Transcript==
:[Cueball looking at a DVD cover. White Hat stands next to him.]
:Cueball: ''Idiocracy'' is so true.
:White Hat: I know, right? It used to be that the intelligent, upper classes had more children.

:White Hat: Sadly, the recent reversal of this trend has dragged IQ scores and average education steadily downward.
:Cueball: Depressing, huh?

:White Hat: Yeah, except ''everything I just said was wrong.''
:Cueball: Huh?
:White Hat: Wrong. False. The opposite of true.

:White Hat: You're like the religious zealots who are ''burdened'' by their superiority with the sad duty of decrying the ''obvious'' moral decay of each new generation.
:White Hat: And you're just as wrong.
:Cueball: But look at how popular—
:White Hat: More harm has been done by people panicked over societal decline than societal decline ever did.

:Cueball: Look — all we need is a program that limits breeding to—
:[White Hat is walking off panel.]
:White Hat: New theory: Stupid people reproduce more because the alternative is sleeping with ''you.''

{{comic discussion}}
[[Category:Comics featuring White Hat‏‎]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Cueball]]
[[Category:Biology]]

600: Android Boyfriend

2016-04-26T01:07:50Z

Will X: /* Explanation */

{{comic
| number = 600
| date = June 22, 2009
| title = Android Boyfriend
| image = android boyfriend.png
| titletext = Which is, coincidentally, the most unsettling mantlepiece decoration in my house.
}}

==Explanation==
Referring to [[595: Android Girlfriend]] where [[Cueball]] showed that he had an android girlfriend, ([[Megan]]), [[Ponytail]] has decided she would also like to have an {{w|android (robot)|android}} boyfriend, ([[Hairy]]). But upon bringing these two androids together, they fall for each other and decide to have "sex" on the spot.

Part of the joke is that the androids find each other more attractive than the people to whom they were (presumably) created to find attractive. Like likes like, as the saying goes.

{{w|vibrator (sex toy)|Vibrator}}s and {{w|Fleshlight}}s are sex toys that represent male and female genitalia, respectively. Ponytail's flat description indicates that she is not particularly aroused by what amounts to a pair of animatronic sex toys rubbing against each other. [[Randall|Randall's]] title text claims that he has actually done such a thing, and stuck it on his fireplace mantle for all his house-guests to see.

It should be noted that this is the comic six years before [[1541: Voice]], in which Ponytail stated that she could only control her voice once every six years.

==Transcript==
:[Ponytail enters from the right dragging Hairy along by his hand, as she moves towards Cueball who stands with Megan in his hand.]
:Ponytail: I thought your android girlfriend was cool so I got myself an android boyfriend.

:[Suddenly the Megan android runs into the arms of the Hairy android, while Ponytail has let go of his hand. Ponytails head swirls around to follow her run by.]
:Ponytail: He's really great. I like how—
:Ponytail: Uh.

:[Cueball and Ponytail look towards the two android, but they are now outside the panel.]
:Off screen sound: *Zip*
:Off screen voice: Mmmmm

:[Cueball and Ponytail still look at the scene of screen.]
:Cueball: ...Huh.
:Ponytail: It's like somebody stuck a vibrator in a fleshlight.
:Off screen sound: Whirrr
:Off screen voice: Mmmm
:Off screen sound: Click

{{comic discussion}}

[[Category:Comics featuring Cueball]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Ponytail]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Megan]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Hairy]]
[[Category:Sex]]
[[Category:Robots]]
[[Category:Artificial Intelligence]]

521: 2008 Christmas Special

2016-04-02T15:16:09Z

Will X: /* Explanation */

{{comic
| number = 521
| date = December 24, 2008
| title = 2008 Christmas Special
| image = 2008_christmas_special.png
| titletext = 'How could you possibly think typing 'import skynet' was a good idea?'
}}

==Explanation==
This comic is the xkcd Christmas Special from the year 2008. The prologue states that due to the {{w|2008 financial crisis}}, only very few images of the strip could be produced, leaving the others to be blacked out. It is therefore left to the reader to reconstruct the whole story based on the given images. While it is claimed that the reconstruction should be rather easy, the complicated and abstruse plot-line makes it nearly impossible to fill the gaps. Any attempt at inferring the missing images would therefore be largely guesswork. The comic features the well-known xkcd characters getting involved in a strange fight with cyborgs and raptors on Christmas Eve.

The line "We apologize for the inconvenience." is possibly a reference to the famous book series {{w|The Hitchhikers Guide To The Galaxy}} by {{w|Douglas Adams}}. It appears there as God's Final Message to His Creation, written in letters of fire on the side of the Quentulus Quazgar Mountains.

'''Panel 2:''' [[Megan]] strives to outdo some Christmas lights she has seen on YouTube.

'''Panel 3:''' Dissatisfied with her work, Megan is thinking about alternative ways improve her light arrangement. The idea of firing {{w|Sodium}} pellets into snow is probably a bad one, as Sodium reacts exothermically with water and may, in large amounts, induce explosions.

'''Panel 5:''' Probably still obsessed with the idea of creating a large and impressive light display, Megan has constructed an electronic device with an {{w|Arduino}} processor, perhaps to make the light chain show patterns. However, the amount of energy she used was apparently too high, causing one of the control boards to vaporize. She then wishes she could make the system self-repairing.

'''Panel 7:''' Megan's device has developed {{w|artificial intelligence}}, allowing it to feel. This is presumably a result of Megan attempting to make the device self-repairing. This common trope in science-fiction works usually leads to the system's attempting to eradicate its creator. [[Cueball]] attributes the emergence of a personality to awesome ease and power of programming in {{w|Python (programming language)|Python}}.

'''Panel 11:''' Out of context, this panel introduces the idea of {{w|Santa Claus}} being a {{w|Muslim}}. This may be a reference to the persistent Internet rumors that Barack Obama is a Muslim, though he declares himself to be a Christian. However, the statement could also relate to the fact the Santa Claus is usually displayed with a large beard, which is sometimes also sported by conservative Muslims. Or it could just be non-sensical.

'''Panel 13:''' At this point the self-conscious Christmas light control systems has apparently released {{w|cyborgs}} that tried to kill Megan and Cueball. In order to repel the cyborgs, they have cloned {{w|Velociraptors}}. Cueball expresses doubt whether that was really a good idea. Velociraptors appear frequently in xkcd, cf. comics [[87]], [[135]] and [[292]].

'''Panel 17:''' As predicted, the raptors have gone wild, but Megan, Cueball and the two smaller characters (perhaps their children) managed to cage the dinosaurs. They believe themselves safe unless the raptors learn how to build {{w|lightsabers}}. This is a reference to a line in Jurrasic Park where the main characters believe themselves safe, unless the raptors can learn how to open doors.

'''Panel 19:''' The raptors have indeed succeeded with constructing lightsabers and must now be fought. The "Clever girl" is a reference to a line from Jurassic Park where the raptors outflank (and kill) one of the human characters wearing a similar hat.

'''Panel 23:''' IT billionaire {{w|Bill Gates}} has mistakenly killed Santa Claus, possibly in a sword fight. He claims to have mistaken him for {{w|Richard Stallman}}, a prominent {{w|free software}} activist. (Gates strongly opposes the idea of free software and is therefore considered an antagonist by many of its supporters.) The most striking resemblance between Stallman and Santa Claus is probably the long and untamed beard. Comic [[225]] is one of the most famous xkcd comics and features Stallman involved in a sword fight.

'''Panel 29:''' Megan asks [[Black Hat]] where he obtained the enormously large {{w|christmas tree}} that can be seen on the right side of the picture. It is implied that he logged {{w|Yggdrasil}}, a giant ash tree in Norse mythology. According to tradition, Yggdrasil is the world tree representing the whole of creation and holding together the cosmological structure.

'''Panel 31:''' [[Randall]] wishes Merry Christmas to all xkcd readers.

The title text refers to panel 7. In Python, modules are imported using the "import ''module''" syntax. {{w|Skynet (Terminator)|Skynet}} is a self-conscious artificial intelligence system featured in the {{w|Terminator}} film series as the main antagonist. Importing the skynet module might therefore account for Megan's system's developing an evil personality.

Note that this comic was first published in another version that had panel 29 as panel 27 and the "Merry Christmas from xkcd" message at the bottom. As 27 is not a {{w|prime number}}, the current version was published in lieu of the erroneous one.

It has been observed that the top left nine panels form a {{w|Glider (Conway's Life)|Glider}} in {{w|Conway's Game of Life}}. The glider is sometimes used as an emblem representing {{w|hacker subculture}}, although rotated by 90 degrees. It remains however unclear whether the occurrence in the comic is intentional or owed to the prime number pattern.

==Transcript==
:The 2008 XKCD Christmas Special
:Due to the slowing economy, we could only afford to produce the prime-numbered panels.
:You should be able to infer the missing parts of the story easily enough.
:We apologize for the inconvenience.
:[The first panel is blank.]
:[Megan carrying Christmas lights and Cueball watching.]
:Megan: I'm going to one-up those Christmas light displays on YouTube.
:[Megan thinking.]
:Megan: Hmm. Needs more flair. Do you know what happens when you fire sodium pellets into a snowbank?
:Cueball: No.
:Megan: Me neither.
:[The next panel is blank.]
:[Megan sitting in front of a console.]
:Megan: Whoops, one of the Arduino control boards sublimated.
:Megan: If only I could make it self-repairing...
:[The next panel is blank.]
:Megan: Shit. The system has become sentient.
:Cueball: Friggin' Python.
:System: GRAAARR!
:[The next three panels are blank.]
:[Megan showing laptop to Cueball.]
:Megan: But according to this email forward, Santa is secretly a Muslim!
:Cueball: It explains everything!
:[The next panel is blank.]
:Megan: Okay, the cloned raptors are hunting the last of the cyborgs. We're safe.
:Cueball: Are you sure you thought this through?
:[The next three panels are blank.]
:[Two couples appear in this next panel.]
:Cueball: Are the raptors contained?
:Ponytail: Sure. Unless they figure out how to build lightsabers.
:[The next panel is blank.]
:[Guy with hat fighting with a raptor using lightsabers.]
:Cueball: It's all right. I've got her.
:[Lightsaber appears from behind.]
:Snap-hiss!
:Cueball: ...Clever girl.
:[The next three panels are blank.]
:[Bill Gates is holding a weapon over Santa's body. The two girls are watching.]
:Megan: Great. Bill Gates kills Santa.
:Bill Gates: I thought it was Stallman with a dyed beard.
:[The next five panels are blank.]
:[Megan and Black Hat are looking at a tree.]
:Megan: Where did you get this Christmas tree?
:Black Hat: Nowhere.
:Megan: Did you cut down the Yggdrasil?
:Black Hat: ...Maybe.
:[The next panel is blank.]
:[Megan and Cueball holding hands and looking at reader.]
:Merry Christmas from XKCD <3
:[The last panel is blank.]

{{comic discussion}}
[[Category:Comics featuring Cueball]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Megan]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Ponytail]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Black Hat]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Richard Stallman]]
[[Category:Comics featuring real people]]
[[Category:Christmas]]
[[Category:Programming]]
[[Category:Star Wars]]
[[Category:Velociraptors]]