explain xkcd - User contributions [en]

1803: Location Reviews

2025-04-14T23:55:30Z

WilliamBrennan: more cleanup

{{comic
| number = 1803
| date = February 24, 2017
| title = Location Reviews
| image = location_reviews.png
| titletext = Google and Yelp keep deleting my scathing reviews of the Mariana Trench, the Chernobyl reactor core, the jet stream, and the equator.
}}

==Explanation==
Many online advertising services and social media networks (such as {{w|Google}} and {{w|Yelp}} (both mentioned in the title text) and {{w|Facebook}}) allow users to leave reviews of stores, businesses, and locations. For various reasons these sites often find themselves with pages dedicated to, as [[Randall]] puts it, "places that really don't need reviews" such as municipal works installations, government property, and natural landmarks. This naturally attracts both clueless people and lots of self-styled comedians leaving less-than-helpful comments on such review pages.

Randall is poking fun at this phenomenon by inventing possible reviews for the (fictional) location ''Canyon River Nuclear Launch Facility'', depicted with a {{w|Google Map|Google Maps}}-styled map page along with a series of so-called reviews. (There does exist a {{w|Canyon River (Ontario)|Canyon River}} located in {{w|Ontario}}/{{w|Canada}} and one in {{w|Washington (state)|Washington}}/USA (the latter is a significant tributary to the {{w|Satsop River}}). Canada does not maintain nuclear weapons since 1984, so such a launch site would be located in Washington).

See explanations for the [[#Trivia|11 visible]] (out of 22) reviews in the [[#Reviews|table below]]. Of course those responsible for such a facility with {{w|nuclear missiles}} would not like the attention they would be getting in this way, especially not when one of the comments mentions a hole in the fence... Although this comic makes a joke about reviews it has chosen a very dangerous facility to joke about.

In the title text Randall mentions that both Google and Yelp keep deleting his scathing reviews of several locations like the above. The questions is if they would have done it if they had not been so harsh... While Canyon River Nuclear Launch Facility appears not to exist, the places/phenomena he lists in the title text certainly do, and are places that you either cannot or would not normally visit as destinations. Here below each "location" is explained. That the deletion of such reviews is real has been proven by this comic, as [[#Trivia|it also happened]] for those that (of course) posted these reviews on Google maps as a response to this comic.

{{w|Mariana Trench}} is the deepest area of the world's oceans, about 10,994 meters (36,070 ft) deep, located between Japan and Australia. The pressure in the Mariana Trench is about 1,086 bars, more than 1,000 times the standard atmospheric pressure of about 1 bar at sea level. Despite this enormous pressure some organisms {{w|Mariana_Trench#Life|live in the Mariana Trench}}. Humans can reach the ground only by special deep-sea submarines, like Jacques Piccard did in 1960 with the {{w|Bathyscaphe Trieste}}. See reviews for the Mariana Trench at [https://www.google.com/maps/place/Mariana+Trench/@17.75,142.4978113,17z/data=!4m7!3m6!1s0x67328f3cd57de715:0x1bbe64e7a21aa7fc!8m2!3d17.75!4d142.5!9m1!1b1?hl=en Google Maps] and [https://www.facebook.com/pages/Marianengraben/108402422518280 Facebook].

The {{w|Chernobyl}} reactor core is the most dangerous part of the {{w|Chernobyl Nuclear Power Plant}}. It is located in the North of Ukraine. In the reactor No. 4 there was a nuclear disaster that happened on 26 April 1986. It caused devastating damage and massive radioactive contamination. There is still a {{w|Chernobyl Exclusion Zone}} 30 kilometers around the power plant. See reviews for the Chernobyl power plant at [https://www.google.com/maps/place/Chernobyl+Nuclear+Plant/@51.3852262,30.1003411,15z/data=!4m14!1m6!3m5!1s0x472a7d09e1ec5ef3:0x6b27a13ab968d17c!2sChernobyl+Nuclear+Plant!8m2!3d51.3889447!4d30.0988421!3m6!1s0x472a7d09e1ec5ef3:0x6b27a13ab968d17c!8m2!3d51.3889447!4d30.0988421!9m1!1b1?hl=en Google Maps] and [https://www.facebook.com/pages/Kernkraftwerk-Tschernobyl/118179298239715?rf=116556918391753 Facebook].

{{w|Jet stream}}s are a meteorologic phenomenon about 9 to 16 kilometers above the ground. A stream consists of air currents with speeds from 92 km/h (50 kn; 57 mph) to over 398 km/h (215 kn; 247 mph). Such jet streams are routinely used for reducing fuel usage for long distance plane travels. As it is a ribbon rather than a point, it could not have a single point on the map. Also, the jet stream fluctuates north and south; so even if it could be pinpointed, the location would be constantly changing.

The {{w|equator}} is, as with the jet streams, not a singular place but a circumference around the Earth. Reviewing the equator as a singular location is rather pointless ([[No Pun Intended|no pun intended]]), though there is a whole range of specific (and interesting) locations around the equator, with countries with {{w|tropical rainforest climate}}, which many people from European and North American countries struggle with. That said, most of the equator goes over water.

===Reviews===
In the table the rating is given with the review. After that an explanation both of the rating and of the review is given. Notice that any or all of the reviews could be sarcastic or "trolling", as is fairly typical on the internet, especially for reviews given for such a location as this one. This table assumes all the reviews are played straight.
{| class="wikitable"
! Rating
! Review
! Explanation
|-
| ★★★★★ || Greatest country on earth || A patriotic review (5/5), though one providing no information on the actual nuclear site. This comment is such as would come from an extremely patriotic person, who believes that the United States is the greatest country on Earth, and therefore is pleased that the country is being protected by nuclear weapons.
|-
| ★★☆☆☆ || Looks cool but you can't get in || This reviewer, although initially positive, attempts to highlight what they perceive as a major flaw with the site: namely, that it is off-limits to unauthorized personnel and heavily guarded, so it's impossible to actually go inside (thus only 2/5 stars). This is typical of a nuclear facility,{{Citation needed}} but this kind of review could also be seen for a fancy restaurant that needs very early pre-booking.
|-
| ★☆☆☆☆ || What is this store || Reviewer really, really has no idea what this facility actually is, mistaking it for a store, and thus giving it only 1 star.
|-
| ★★★★☆ || My cousin worked here || If true, this review is a serious security risk (e.g. kidnapping the reviewer to extort information from his cousin). The comment may also just be a way for the reviewer to pretend he knows someone who works in the higher levels of the government. Usually this kind of comment together with a four star rating is to signal that you know more about the location than a regular reviewer does. Of course, you could then also be perceived as partial.
|-
| ★★☆☆☆ || Waitstaff heavily armed and very rude || This review mistakes the facility's security guards for a restaurant's waitstaff. Since the guards are protecting some of the most dangerous weapons in existence, and would not let unknown outsiders into the facility, it follows that the guards would be heavily armed, and quite rude to those who sought entry without proper permission. Thus they earn the place only 2 stars.
|-
| ★☆☆☆☆ || Stop doing chemtrails || This reviewer believes in the {{w|chemtrail conspiracy theory}} and is urging the government to cease spreading the chemtrails. Believing this place has something to do with chemtrail spraying of course leads to only one star. This conspiracy was earlier mentioned both in [[966: Jet Fuel]] and [[1677: Contrails]], and later in [[2654: Chemtrails]]
|-
| ★☆☆☆☆ || This place is a symptom of the {{w|military-industrial complex}} strangling our democracy and...(read full review-1184 words) || A slightly tongue-in-cheek reference to essays against 'The Military-Industrial Complex' and how they are often copy-pasted by people who don't really understand them in inappropriate places. Or just to people who write rants far longer than anything that most people would ever read, except those who already agree with the writer. Of course such an activist would only give one star.
|-
| ★★★★☆ || Anyone else notice the hole in the west fence? || The adventurer's travel guide to government installations... Posting a comment like this would (at best) bring the hole to the attention of the site staff to be repaired and (at worst) bring the writer unwelcome attention from the authorities for publicizing a security vulnerability at a missile site. This might also be a reference to {{w|Richard Feynman}}'s account of finding and using a hole in the fence surrounding the {{w|Los Alamos, New Mexico|Los Alamos}} facility during the {{w|Manhattan Project}}. Using the hole to get in, this reviewer had an excellent time and gives 4/5 stars.
|-
| ★★★★★ || Whoa, missiles! || The writer is impressed and apparently surprised to discover that the site has missiles. Seems like the reviewer just loves anything to do with missiles and hands out five stars. This may also be a reference to the "Whoa, technology!" meme, which originated when YandereDev, a Youtuber best known for his work on the infamous {{w|Yandere Simulator}}, uttered the phrase in one of his videos.
|-
| ★★★☆☆ || Good idea but confusing web site. How do I preorder? || This reviewer thinks that one can order a nuclear missile launch here, but can't find a preorder form on the website. He loves the idea but since he cannot find out how to order there are only 3/5 stars. In reality, the decision to launch nuclear missiles often rests with the heads of state or government, and outside persons are not allowed to control them.{{Citation needed}}
|-
| ★☆☆☆☆ || Please don't launch these || A plea to the facility owners not to launch the nuclear missiles, due to their deleterious effects on human life.
|}

==Transcript==
:[Inside the main panel there is a frame with a Google location map with the typical red pin stuck in the center of the map inside a large gray region of the map. A river goes from the north through the gray region and out to the west. East and south of the river some roads and other items are shown, several of them also outside the gray region. The red pin is stuck next to a corner in one of the roads.]

:[Below the map is the name of the location at the red pin, and below that there are three lines of unreadable text:]
:<big>Canyon River Nuclear Launch Facility</big>

:[Below that there is broken line with text in the break, and below that follows 11 reviews with yellow stars to the left. The stars are either just outlines or colored completely, with the left one always being filled:]
:Reviews (22)
:[5 of 5 stars filled] Greatest country on earth
:[2 of 5 stars filled] Looks cool but you can't get in
:[1 of 5 stars filled] What is this store
:[4 of 5 stars filled] My cousin worked here
:[2 of 5 stars filled] Waitstaff heavily armed and very rude
:[1 of 5 stars filled] Stop doing chemtrails
:[1 of 5 stars filled] This place is a symptom of the military-industrial complex strangling our democracy and...(read full review-1184 words)
:[4 of 5 stars filled] Anyone else notice the hole in the west fence?
:[5 of 5 stars filled] Whoa, missiles!
:[3 of 5 stars filled] Good idea but confusing web site. How do I preorder?
:[1 of 5 stars filled] Please don't launch these

:[Caption below the panel:]
:I love finding reviews of places that really don't need to have reviews.

==Trivia==
* Only 11 of the 22 reviews posted are shown. For those 11 the average star rating is 2.6/5 stars. All five possible ratings are represented at least once.
* For a few days after the release of this comic the Google Search results for "[https://www.google.com/search?q=canyon+river+nuclear+launch+facility Canyon River Nuclear Launch Facility]" briefly showed the facility was located at 43.428445, -101.124018 in {{w|List_of_townships_in_South_Dakota#B|Blackpipe Township}}, {{w|Mellette County, South Dakota}} and it included the reviews shown in the comic and more.
** Randall's statement about Google deleting these kinds of reviews turned out to be true as they were quickly deleted, but not before someone made [http://www.explainxkcd.com/wiki/images/8/8a/1803_Location_Reviews_for_Canyon_River_Nuclear_Launch_Facility.PNG this screenshot] of one of the other reviews.

{{comic discussion}}

[[Category:Comics with color]]
[[Category:Google Maps]]
[[Category:Conspiracy theory]]
[[Category:Online reviews]]
[[Category:Nuclear weapons]]

1812: Onboarding

2025-04-03T01:39:10Z

WilliamBrennan: shorter

{{comic
| number = 1812
| date = March 17, 2017
| title = Onboarding
| image = onboarding.png
| titletext = 'So we just have a steady flow of metal piling up in our server room? Isn't that a problem?' 'Yeah, you should bring that up at our next bismuth meeting.'
}}

==Explanation==
This is another one of [[Beret Guy|Beret Guy's]] mysterious [[:Category:Beret Guy's Business|businesses]], in which he shows new employee [[Ponytail]] around the building in which the company resides. The process of showing a new employee around the business and starting to get them introduced to people and systems and procedures is often referred to as "{{w|onboarding}}" - hence the title of the comic.

=== Existential Welcome ===

The first panel starts out as a typical welcoming of the new employee to a small indie business. Very quickly, however, Beret Guy's explanation jumps to an existential viewpoint. Very rarely do conversations or introductions involve discussing the eventual fate of our bodies, and certainly not in a professional light as in this comic. Beret Guy, however, has no problem with discussing death and decay as just part of his business. This seemingly contradicts the title text in [[1493: Meeting]], where it is claimed that employees of the company can not physically die. However, this could be a new company he has started since then. Alternatively, this is a literal statement, perhaps related to the cursed Wi-Fi mentioned later in the comic.

=== Bikeshare ===

In the second panel, Beret Guy shows Ponytail the free bikeshare system this business apparently has in place. {{w|Bicycle-sharing system|Bikesharing}} is a system in which many users share one or more bikes among themselves. Typically the bikes belong to some of the members of the group who are allowing them to be used by other members who may not have one, but Beret Guy calmly remarks that this system will only exist "until whoever owns those bikes finds out", implying that they were not donated or shared by any member of the group, but are being used without permission or the knowledge of the true owner of the bikes. This is, thus, not actually a bikeshare, and would be more properly described as theft.

=== Printer ===

In the third panel, Beret Guy shows Ponytail that the laserjet is over there '''and''' the printer is over there, thus indicating that the ''laserjet'' is not a printer. This is a bit disconcerting, since the {{w|HP LaserJet}} is in fact a common brand of {{w|laser printer}}, suggesting that his laserjet may be some rather more exotic device, such as a {{w|Laser propulsion|laser-propelled}} {{w|jet aircraft}}. In any case, however, the printer is not available, as it's been printing an infinite-scroll web page since 2013.

An [[wikt:infinite scroll|infinite-scrolling web page]] is a web page that, as the name implies, seems to have no end. This style of webpage typically has no definite pages or sections, but instead continues to feed data to the screen as the user scrolls. One such example is [https://endless.horse endless.horse], a webpage that features an infinitely tall horse. In reality, trying to print one of these would only print the current section the user was viewing, and even if it was somehow able to infinitely print, the operator could theoretically cancel the operation at any time. Presumably, this continuous printing serves some useful purpose, e.g. prints latest news, because someone would have to be refilling the paper for the printer to have kept running this long; it would have run out of paper long ago otherwise. Mistaken print jobs are sometimes notoriously difficult to stop due to many levels of buffering (application, printer driver, OS spooler, print server, printer device) and lapses in job control software.

Infinite scrolling (in the sense of an annoying UI design style for browsing large but finite documents) was previously covered in [[1309: Infinite Scrolling]]. A similar separation of the phrase "laserjet printer" has been explored in [[1681: Laser Products]].

=== Infrastructure Buzzwords ===

In the fourth panel, Beret Guy makes three more remarks.

'''Restrooms are all-digital—no pipes.''' While many technology standards nowadays are entirely digital, one's restroom is one of the things that most definitely should not be.{{Citation needed}} A restroom without pipes would have no way to bring water in and transfer wastes away, and would most certainly be at the very least an unpleasant encounter. (It's implied that the waste is being transferred digitally, although this is [[1293: Job Interview|obviously impossible]].) This could also be a pun joking with the fact that a common (in the past and reappearing recently) technology in sound amplifiers is the use of tubes, but nowadays most sound amplifiers are all-digital. So a "latest technology" restroom cannot have pipes (synonym of tubes) and has to be all-digital.

'''The Wi-Fi is very fast, but cursed.''' Fast Wi-Fi is certainly desirable, but in this case, he claims it is also cursed. Whether the curse is a side-effect of the fast Wi-Fi or totally unrelated is left unsaid, as well as what the curse is. This could possibly be a joke relating to American slang: all technology can behave inexplicably from time to time, and Wi-Fi is notorious for randomly losing connection -- this is often exaggerated and called "cursed". Knowing Beret Guy, though, [[2376: Curbside|it's probably literal]], perhaps purchased from one of the "[[1772: Startup Opportunity|mysterious shops that sell you magical items, and then it turns out they're cursed"]].

'''Our server room is carbon-neutral but produces bismuth constantly.''' Normally, {{w|carbon neutrality|carbon-neutral}} would mean that it is designed to be environmentally friendly by reducing and offsetting its carbon emissions enough that it has no net effect on the environment. The term is a little bit confusing because the meaning is of course carbon-dioxide-neutral. Instead of producing carbon-dioxide as a side-effect of its power usage, Beret Guy's server room produces the element {{w|Bismuth|bismuth}}, which is absurd. Bismuth is used as lead replacement in some {{w|solder}}s. While this replacement is often used because of the toxicity of {{w|lead}}, in this case it refers to an IBM mainframe computer where the Bi58Sn42 alloy is used because of its low temperature soldering characteristics. Therefore, producing excess bismuth in the server room would destroy all the electric connections.

One way the server room might produce bismuth is a {{w|Lead-cooled fast reactor|compact nuclear reactor}} which can both make the server room carbon-neutral ''and'' leak bismuth (by creating it in the reactor). This being Beret Guy, another possibility is that bismuth simply appears in that room as the server operates, because he didn't want it to create carbon emissions and so it had to emit something else.

=== Lin-Manuel Miranda ===

In the last two panels, Beret Guy explains that Ponytail will be working on the infrastructure, which is apparently maintained by {{w|Lin-Manuel Miranda}}. He is among other things a songwriter but certainly not an engineer or anyone qualified to be responsible for an entire infrastructure.{{citation needed}} Ponytail knows about his songs and thus surprised asks if he is also an engineer. (This echoes [[1665: City Talk Pages]], which includes a train station designed by {{w|Andrew Lloyd Webber}}, a composer best known for writing ''{{w|The Phantom of the Opera}}'').

It is worth noting that Beret Guy actually acknowledges the mistake here, claiming the mistake "cost a fortune." This is unusual for Beret Guy, as he has of yet failed to acknowledge or recognize the oddity of every other aspect of his mysterious business, many of which are certainly stranger than this. However, he doesn't seem to mind this at all and does not wish to fire him. Instead he plans on fixing the mistake by hiring a real network engineer, Ponytail, to do the work alongside Miranda. Because, as Beret Guy continues to explain, the bright side of having Lin-Manuel Miranda in his business overshadows the lost fortune. Apparently Lin-Manuel Miranda is really nice and he makes {{w|karaoke}} nights fun, a clear reference to his engaging stage presence and vocal skills.

Off screen, Lin-Manuel Miranda is heard singing "{{w|How Far I'll Go}}", which is a song that he composed for the Disney movie ''{{w|Moana (2016 film)|Moana}}''. It was nominated for an {{w|Academy Awards|Oscar}} for {{w|Academy Award for Best Original Song|Best Original Song}} in the {{w|89th Academy Awards|2017 show}} just a few weeks prior to this comic.

=== Title Text ===

The title text mentions the potential dangers of having your server room constantly produce bismuth, but only as a prelude to a bismuth/business pun. Because of the earlier carbon reference, it could also be a parallel to the difficulty in convincing businesses to become more energy efficient and reduce greenhouse gas emissions despite the urgency, as [[Randall]] has [[:Category:Climate change|often referred]] to in xkcd with [[1732: Earth Temperature Timeline]].

The fact that the business has meetings to discuss the bismuth, but apparently no one has ever mentioned at one of these meetings that the bismuth may be a problem, is strange. It is unclear what participants in these meetings ordinarily say about the bismuth.

==Transcript==
:[Beret Guy shakes hands with Ponytail in front of a building while he points at the two large double doors under an unreadable sign.]
:Beret Guy: Hi! Welcome to the team!
:Beret Guy: We do business here and we'll turn into dirt later.

:[Beret Guy and Ponytail walk by three bikes.]
:Beret Guy: This is our main campus.
:Beret Guy: We have a free bikeshare system, at least until whoever owns those bikes finds out.

:[Beret Guy points forward as they walk on.]
:Beret Guy: The LaserJet is over there, and the printer is over there.
:Beret Guy: You can't use it right now; it's been printing an infinite-scroll webpage since 2013.

:[Zoom in on their heads.]
:Beret Guy: Restrooms are all-digital - no pipes.
:Beret Guy: The WiFi is very fast, but cursed.
:Beret Guy: Our server room is carbon-neutral but produces bismuth constantly.

:[Beret Guy has turned towards an off-panel Ponytail holding a hand out towards her.]
:Beret Guy: You'll be working on our infrastructure, which is currently maintained by Lin-Manuel Miranda.

:[Zoom out to both facing each other. From the right singing is heard from off-panel, as indicated with two musical notes.]
:Ponytail: ...The songwriter? Is he also an engineer?
:Beret Guy: Nope, huge misunderstanding on our part. Cost a fortune. But he's really nice and it makes karaoke nights fun.
:Lin-Manuel Miranda (off-panel): ''How far I'll gooo''

{{comic discussion}}

[[Category:Comics featuring Beret Guy]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Ponytail]]
[[Category:Comics featuring real people]] 
[[Category:Beret Guy's Business]]
[[Category:Strange powers of Beret Guy]]
[[Category:Puns]]
[[Category:Songs]]
[[Category:Climate change]]
[[Category:Comics with cursed items]]
[[Category:Disney]]
[[Category:Movies]]

769: War

2025-04-03T01:24:19Z

WilliamBrennan: video game

{{comic
| number = 769
| date = July 21, 2010
| title = War
| image = war.png
| titletext =They offered to make me a green beret, but I liked my regular one. Although it gets kind of squashed under my helmet.
}}

==Explanation==
This comic seems to be a parable about the perils of love during wartime. Our protagonist is seen here leaning against his pack behind a low wall, surely a good hiding spot for any gentleman with a rifle and scope. Judging by the letter he's in the midst of writing, he has a complex relationship with Cordelia. On the one hand, she's attractive. On the other hand, she's a hostile combatant, as evidenced by the shots fired mid-missive. Cordelia's fire works against her, though, as her volley of shots has revealed her own position atop the maintenance shed. We can presume that in a matter of minutes, this love affair will go sour as the love letter is wrapped around a live grenade and "delivered," so to speak. War is indeed hell.

As to the title text, the green berets are worn only by Special Forces soldiers. It takes a lot of training to become a green beret, and as evidenced by our protagonist's clever use of decoys to outwit a sniper, he may be qualified for the honor. However, evidence for his naiveté is given immediately thereafter, as he confesses that he wears a beret under his helmet — thus revealing our protagonist's true identity as [[Beret Guy]] and explaining how he fell in love with an enemy soldier actively trying to kill him.{{cn}} Then again, he does not have a choice, since [[291: Dignified|he has stapled the beret on his head.]]

"Cordelia" is possibly a reference to [http://atoracle.wikidot.com/en-cordelia-rosalind Cordelia Rosalind]—the sniper from the {{w|Miniature wargaming|miniature game}} ''{{w|Anima: Beyond Fantasy#Anima: Tactics|Anima: Tactics}}''. Alternatively, it may be a reference to {{w|List of Vorkosigan Saga characters#Barrayarans|Cordelia Naismith}} from {{w|Lois McMaster Bujold}}'s ''{{w|Shards of Honor}}''. In the book, Cordelia Naismith and Lord Aral Vorkosigan are on opposite sides of the Beta-Barrayar war, and fall in love while forced to spend a week in each other's company on an unpopulated planet. This may be further corroborated by the green color of Beret Guy's uniform, which is very similar to the color used for the uniforms of the Barrayan Imperial Service.

It is also possible that Beret Guy and Cordelia are playing a video game, in a virtual reality, or in some similar context in which being blown up by grenades would not actually kill Cordelia, which would explain why Beret Guy would write such a missive.

==Transcript==
:[Beret Guy with a green helmet on is sitting on the ground behind a low wall, leaning against his pack and writing a letter.]
:My Dearest Cordelia,
:it has been far too long since I last gazed
:upon your lithe and supple body through my
:telescopic sights, and I fear you may have
:found a superior vantage poin—

:''BLAM! BLAM! BLAM!''

:—a splendid effort, my love, but your shots
:find only a decoy, and reveal your position atop
:the maintenance shed.

:I pray this missive and my grenades find you well.

:War is hell.

{{comic discussion}}
[[Category:Comics featuring Beret Guy]]
[[Category:Comics with color]]

1644: Stargazing

2025-02-26T02:25:55Z

WilliamBrennan: of

{{comic
| number = 1644
| date = February 17, 2016
| title = Stargazing
| image = stargazing.png
| titletext = Some of you may be thinking, 'But wait, isn't the brightest star in our sky the Sun?' I think that's a great question and you should totally ask it. On the infinite tree of possible conversations spread out before us, I think that's definitely the most promising branch.
}}

==Explanation==
This is the first comic in the [[:Category:Stargazing|Stargazing]] series. It was followed by [[2017: Stargazing 2]] two and a half years later and [[2274: Stargazing 3]] four years later.

This comic opens on [[Megan]] as the host for a {{w|stargazing}} TV show, or simply a stargazing tour. She claims to be a doctor, although it is unclear what exactly she's a doctor of. Her remarks, however, may call her professionalism into question. (Originally the host was suspected to be a spoof on {{w|Brian Cox (physicist)|Brian Cox}}, see [[#Relevant TV-shows|below]], but at some later point [[Randall]] changed his official transcript thus making the host female rather than male as in the original version, see the [[#Trivia|trivia]] section below. Thus now the host is clearly Megan, which it could not have been originally when the host was described as a man by Randall).

Throughout the comic the host's tone and choice of words becomes increasingly unprofessional, referring to most of the stars as "shitty," personifying them based on different astronomical observations, and providing little useful information on the study of stars or how they work.

It seems that this is not an isolated issue as the host mentions that people keep asking her whether or not she is a real astronomer.

The host also continuously glosses over the arguably less exciting portions of a typical presentation on astronomy sharing only what she sees as "the good stuff." This penchant for only caring about something if it is interesting extends past astronomy as well as the host is too bored when reading the dictionary to look up the meaning of astronomer.

The comic derives much of its humor from the absurdity of the host's comments on various astronomical bodies. Although not technically incorrect, the way she presents the information is far from informative. (See details below on [[#The host's observations|the host's observations]]).

One of her observations regards the fact that {{w|Sirius}} is a {{w|binary star}}, a system where two stars orbit each other. So even though it is the brightest star as seen from Earth we only really see one of them, as the other is, to quote the host, "not even trying". Sirius A is "large" and "bright" {{w|main sequence}} white star, while Sirius B is a {{w|white dwarf}} with a little under half the mass, 0.49% the radius and only 0.22% the luminosity of Sirius A.

{{w|Andromeda Galaxy|Andromeda}} is the largest galaxy in our {{w|Local Group}}. It is 220,000 light years across and contains a trillion stars. Humans have difficulty conceptualizing distances of this scale. Suffice to say that it is very large.{{Citation needed}}

{{w|Betelgeuse}} is the 9th brightest star visible from earth. One of its prominent features is its visible redness. Within the next million years (or maybe only 100,000 years) it is expected to explode as a {{w|supernova}}, which will certainly be a spectacular sight. It could happen anytime now, and the host hopes it will be in her lifetime.

In the title text it is mentioned that the {{w|Sun}} is also a star and of course is much brighter than Sirius seen from Earth, and thus Sirius is technically not the brightest star in our sky (although it is in the night sky). The title text sarcastically encourages the audience to raise that obvious but irrelevant point (a standard joke when people mention bright stars) instead of asking a more interesting, informative, or fruitful question, when there are so many to ask regarding astronomy.

See also [[1371: Brightness]] and [[1342: Ancient Stars]]. Saying cool things about space to make people like you is mentioned in [[1746: Making Friends]].

===The host's observations===
Here is a list of the host's observations:
*Most {{w|Bright Star Catalogue|visible stars}} are still very faint, and just become background to the bright {{w|stars}} that form the named {{w|constellations}}.
**The host correctly states that they are just dots. (This is also true for the bright stars, but at least they are clearly distinguishable).
*{{w|Sirius}} is the {{w|Apparent magnitude|brightest}} star in our {{w|List of brightest stars|night sky}}. But it is not the brightest object in the night sky, as several of the planets, especially {{w|Venus}} and {{w|Jupiter}}, and of course the {{w|Moon}} are much brighter. It is also far from being one of the most {{w|Absolute magnitude|luminous stars}} in the {{w|Milky Way}}, but its proximity to Earth makes it the brightest in the night sky. For instance, {{w|Betelgeuse}}, mentioned later in the comic, is thousands of times more luminous than Sirius, but it is so farther away that it appears dimmer.
**The host thus names Sirius as the star in charge since it outshines all the others as seen from the {{w|Earth}}.
*Sirius is actually a star system consisting of two stars: a {{w|binary star}} system. But though Sirius A is twice the size of the {{w|Sun}} and much brighter, Sirius B is currently just a dim {{w|white dwarf}}, the remains of a much larger star that became a {{w|red giant}} before shedding its outer layers and collapsing into its current state around 120 million years ago. So now Sirius A completely outshines Sirius B, which actually is now a dead star with no further fusion inside its core.
**This is construed by the host as it is barely even trying, as it is now only radiating away the rest of the heat from the now-exposed core.
*{{w|Andromeda Galaxy|Andromeda}} is a {{w|spiral galaxy}}, like the Milky Way, and it is the largest galaxy in the {{w|Local Group}} where our own galaxy the Milky Way is the second largest. It is one of a few visible objects that are located outside the Milky Way. It is "only" 2.5 million light-years from the Sun and it is heading our way (or vice versa), and will {{w|Andromeda–Milky Way collision|collide with the Milky way}} in about 4 billion years (before the Sun goes into {{w|Sun#After_core_hydrogen_exhaustion|its red giant phase}}). Being 220,000 light years across and consisting of a trillion stars, it is somewhere between 1.2-2.2 times wider than the Milky Way and has 2.5-10 times as many stars. (The local group was also mentioned two comics ago, in [[1642: Gravitational Waves]], together with the much less well known third largest galaxy in the group the {{w|Triangulum Galaxy}}).
**It is therefore true when the host says that it is too big to try to understand, and thinking about it will make your head spin, so she suggests we do not think about it.
*{{w|Betelgeuse}} is a clearly visible (9th brightest) {{w|Red_supergiant|red supergiant}} {{w|Semiregular_variable_star|variable star}} located in the {{w|Orion (constellation)|constellation of Orion}}. It is one of the largest and most luminous observable stars (12th) and one of the few where it is clear that the light is not white. Most people can see that it is slightly red, whereas most other stars are so faint that they look white despite having different colors (when seeing Orion's two brightest stars, to remember which is which between Rigel and Betelgeuse, its diagonal opposite, just remember: Rigel is "R" like blue, and Betelgeuse is "B" like red). It is expected that Betelgeuse, being at a late stage of its {{w|Stellar_evolution|evolution}}, will go supernova within the next 100,000 years as a {{w|type II supernova}}. The exact time when it will become a {{w|Supernova}} is so uncertain that it could [http://earthsky.org/brightest-stars/betelgeuse-will-explode-someday#explode just as likely happen tomorrow] as in a 100,000 years. When it happens it will not be dangerous to anyone on Earth, but it will likely be visible even during the day, as it may even become as bright as the full Moon.
**When it does go nova, it will be a fantastic spectacle for everyone, but especially for anyone who likes the ''good stuff'' in space like the host, who cannot wait for the star to explode. Clearly she hopes it will be in her lifetime, and, although this is unlikely, there is a small chance that it might just happen.
*A {{w|meteor}} (also known as {{w|shooting star}}), is debris from space that rains down on Earth, and burns up in the atmosphere. This happens all the time, but you need to be either lucky, patient, or know the right time for one of the {{w|meteor showers}} to see one. Often they are visible for so short a time period, that it is difficult to share the experience with anyone, as it will be gone by the time they turn their head to look where you are pointing.
**The host becomes very excited when she spots such a meteor, especially because it is likely that her audience got to share the experience with her, as they were already looking in the same direction as her. But still she asks if they saw it, because it is so short lived.
*{{w|Outer space}} is the void that exists between {{w|Astronomical object|celestial bodies}}, including the Earth. There is by definition nothing there but {{w|vacuum}}, and the interesting part of space is thus not the space but the astronomical objects found out there.
**The host says that ''space is awesome'', which is a very un-astronomical comment, as explained above. Also her excitement for a simple shooting star is cause for the suspicion that is raised after her space comment.
*A {{w|dictionary}} is a reference resource for words. Unless otherwise specified (as a "Dictionary of ''<some theme>''"), it contains a significant proportion of ''all'' words in the language(s) it covers.
**The host considers the dictionary ''boring'', which suggests that she is not even familiar with how to zero in on a word and its definition. For a typical and expected English dictionary (unless she made further errors) the word "Astronomer" is actually quite near the start, but it still would have been a large number of words needing to be read past (e.g. "a ... aardvark ... abandon ... abbey ... abbreviation ... ability ...") if one tried to find the word by slavishly checking every entry on the way up to it. It adds to the suspicion that the host's actual expertise isn't in either space ''or'' any more normal and grounded matters but {{tvtropes|Cloudcuckoolander|somewhere else entirely}}.

===Relevant TV-shows===
The comic could be a reference to BBC's ''{{w|Stargazing Live}}'', which {{w|Brian Cox (physicist)|Brian Cox}} has appeared in since 2011. If drawn in xkcd style he would likely look like Megan. He has a PhD in high-energy {{w|particle physics}}, but not astronomy. The newest season of the show aired during January 2016 just a month before this comic's release. Brian Cox has also been the presenter of several other science programs, especially such as the ''{{w|Wonders of the Solar System}}'', ''{{w|Wonders of the Universe}}'' and ''{{w|Wonders of Life (TV series)|Wonders of Life}}''. Originally the host was described as male in the official transcript (see [[#Trivia|trivia]] below), making this seem more likely. For some reason Randall changed the host to female in the transcript later. Very strange, but for sure when he was male, it was obviously a Brian Cox spoof.

It could also be a reference to {{w|Jack Horkheimer}}'s PBS shows ''Star Hustler'' and ''{{w|Star Gazers}}''. Horkheimer, however, does not at all look like Megan, and he died 6 years ago. But he was not a doctor in astronomy, only getting into it when he started volunteering at the Miami Museum of Science's planetarium. He ended up writing shows for the planetarium and the PBS series developed from there. He rarely covered facts about the night sky that couldn't be found in any basic reference (possibly because the show was aimed at children and non-astronomy buffs), although he did get more in-depth about current astronomical events such as {{W|Comet Hale–Bopp}}.

==Transcript==
:[A thin panel with Megan as a TV-host is holding her hands up. She is drawn in white on a black background. Behind her is an audience drawn in faint gray lines consisting of Hairy (to the left) and two Cueball-like guys and Ponytail (seen in a rare full face position) to the right of the host. One of the Cueball-like guys is partly hidden behind the host.]
:Host: Welcome to stargazing, with your host, me.
:Host: I'm a doctor or whatever.

:[Same scene as before but in a broader panel, and the host is now holding only one hand up with a finger pointing up. The audience is the same four people, but now Hairy has moved further to the left in the panel to make room for a Megan-like woman also to the left of the host.]
:Host: I'm not gonna waste your time on the shitty stars.
:Host: Just the good stuff.
:Host: Honestly half of 'em just look like dots.

:[A frame-less drawing with a zoom out showing the group of six people in black silhouette on a white background. Part of the ground beneath them is shown as a black pool. The host is pointing up with one hand. The people have been rearranged, so left of the host is now a Cueball-like guy and a Megan-like woman, and to the right is the other Cueball-like guy, then Ponytail (seen from the side as usual) and Hairy. All are looking up following the host's directions.]
:Host: This is Sirius. It's the brightest star in our sky so it's in charge.
:Host: It's really two stars but one of them is barely even trying.
:Host: This is Andromeda, it's too big to think about, so let's not.

:[Zoom in of the host's upper body, again drawn in white on a black background. She is looking right gesturing with one arm raised, and the other still pointing up with a finger stretched out. Her audience is no longer shown.]
:Host: That red stars is Betelgeuse. It's gonna explode someday.
:Host: Can't happen soon enough, as far as I'm concerned. I-
:Host: ''Holy shit did you see that meteor!?!''
:Host: Space is ''awesome!''

:[Same scene as the previous panel, but the host has turned towards left looking at someone in the audience (not shown) who speaks off-screen. She has taken both her hands down for the first time.]
:Off-screen voice: Are you ''sure'' you're an astronomer?
:Host: People keep asking that, so I finally tried to look that word up in a dictionary, and ''wow'' is that book ever boring. No thank you.
:Off-screen voice: But-
:Host: ''Space!''

==Trivia==
*Randall changed the [http://www.explainxkcd.com/wiki/images/archive/4/48/20160221022727!stargazing.png original] posted version of the comic.
**The only thing that changed was in the third panel where '''''That's''' Andromeda'' was changed to the current version: '''''This is''' Andromeda''
*The official transcript [https://web.archive.org/web/20160913162302/http://xkcd.com/1646/info.0.json originally] used male pronouns for the TV host. It now (as of 2019) uses female pronouns for the host.
**The official transcripts seems to have been messed up on xkcd at the time being.
***The [http://xkcd.com/1644/info.0.json transcript for 1644] is thus at the moment a mix of that comics main info (top and bottom) which results in the correct title and title text, but the entire description in this transcript is describing the comic from two releases before no. [[1642]].
***This seems to be a general problem for comics released around that time...
***Thus the description of this comic, was first released when comic no. [[1646]] came out.
***This has not been corrected (4 years later at the time of writing)!
****So the official transcript for 1644 can be found [http://xkcd.com/1646/info.0.json here], together with the data for comic 1646.
**The current transcript is included here below:
::(Inverse color panel - white on black)
::[A television host in the foreground, speaking toward the reader. A group of other people are in the background behind them.]
::Host: Welcome to Stargazing, with your host, me. I'm a doctor or whatever.
::[She continues to talk.]
::Host: I'm not gonna waste your time on the shitty stars. Just the good stuff. Honestly half of 'em just look like dots.
::(Normal color panel - black on white)
::[A shot from far away of the host standing in the center of the group of people watching her, she points to the sky.]
::Host: This is Sirius. It's the brightest star in our sky so it's in charge. It's really two stars, but one of them is barely even trying. This is Andromeda. It's too big to think about, so let's not.
::(Inverse color panel)
::[Close-up on the host gesturing toward the sky behind her.]
::Host: That red star is Betelgeuse. It's gonna explode someday. Can't happen soon enough, as far as I'm concerned. I--
::HOLY SHIT DID YOU SEE THAT METEOR?!?!
::Space is awesome!
::[The host speaks to someone out of panel.]
::Other: Are you sure you're an astronomer?
::Host: People keep asking that, so I finally tried to look that word up in a dictionary, and wow is that book ever boring. No thank you.
::Other: But--
::Host: SPACE!
:*The original official transcript with male host is included here below (correcting a typo with a missing "s" in "stuff" and formatting to look like our normal transcripts):
::[A television host in the foreground, speaking toward the reader. A group of other people are in the background behind them.]
::Host: Welcome to Stargazing, with your host, me. I'm a doctor or whatever.
::[He continues to talk.]
::Host: I'm not gonna waste your time on the shitty stars. Just the good stuff. Honestly half of 'em just look like dots.
::[Normal color panel - black on white. A shot from far away of the host standing in the center of the group of people watching him, he points to the sky.]
::Host: This is Sirius. It's the brightest star in our sky so it's in charge. It's really two stars, but one of them is barely even trying. This is Andromeda. It's too big to think about, so let's not.
::[Inverse color panel. Close-up on the host gesturing toward the sky behind him.]
::Host: That red star is Betelgeuse. It's gonna explode someday. Can't happen soon enough, as far as I'm concerned. I-- ''HOLY SHIT DID YOU SEE THAT METEOR?!?!'' Space is ''awesome''!
::[The host speaks to someone out of panel.]
::Other: Are you ''sure'' you're an astronomer?
::Host: People keep asking that, so I finally tried to look that word up in a dictionary, and ''wow'' is that book ever boring. No ''thank'' you.
::Other: But--
::Host: ''SPACE!''

{{comic discussion}}

[[Category:Stargazing]]
[[Category:Comics sharing name|Stargazing]]
[[Category:Comics with inverted brightness]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Megan]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Hairy]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Cueball]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Ponytail]]
[[Category:Multiple Cueballs]]
[[Category:Astronomy]]
[[Category:Space]]

92: Sunrise

2025-02-23T23:12:28Z

WilliamBrennan: it's not clear whether the club is shown as it is at 4 AM (up this late vs. up this early)

{{comic
| number = 92
| date = April 21, 2006
| title = Sunrise
| image = sunrise.jpg
| titletext = Sometimes, I sit on top of parking decks and watch the sun rise. I feel like I should have a guitar or something.
}}

==Explanation==
This comic is about the desire for an intimate connection with another, and the compromises we make to not be alone.

[[Hairy]] finds a certain beauty in the way the world looks without billions of humans crawling around on it. He thinks of this as a secret place that thrills him. He is excited about the remote chance of finding someone like him who appreciates its beauty. But he realizes that it's the very thing that makes this time beautiful to him that makes his imagined chance encounter exceedingly unlikely. Reconciled to the fact that he will not find a kindred spirit outside this morning, he heads back home.

At the house, he gets ready and drives to a club to meet people. The club is drawn using an inverted color scheme (white people, black background) to emphasize that it is the opposite of the outside world Hairy was enjoying. The club is dark and full of people, who are the lightest things present, while in the outside scene, the natural beauty shines without interruption by human forms. Hairy is seen alone in the middle of the crowd.

The title text is a reference to a common music video scene (sometimes country music videos) in which people play the guitar on parking garages as the sun rises.

==Transcript==
:[Hairy is on the street. Behind him is a house with a lawn.]
:Hairy (thinking): I love the time just before sunrise. It's quiet; no one is ever just walking about.
:Hairy (thinking): It's like a secret
:Hairy (thinking): I always hope that I'll find someone else quietly hiding from sleep, and we'll see each other and sit and talk.
:Hairy (thinking): I guess this is a bad place to meet people.
:Hairy (thinking): I wish it weren't.

:[Hairy goes into the house, brushes his teeth, shaves his head (?), and leaves the house again.]

:[Hairy is at a club, disco balls in the ceiling and a giant woofer. Many people are dancing around him.]

{{comic discussion}}
[[Category:Comics featuring Hairy]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Cueball]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Megan]]
[[Category:Romance]]
[[Category:Comics with inverted brightness]]
[[Category:Multiple Cueballs]]
[[Category:Comics with lowercase text]]

591: Troll Slayer

2025-02-19T01:30:43Z

WilliamBrennan: more notes

{{comic
| number = 591
| date = June 1, 2009
| title = Troll Slayer
| image = troll slayer.png
| titletext = We have met the enemy and he is us.
}}

== Explanation ==
{{w|Stephenie Meyer}} is the author of the {{w|Twilight (novel series)|Twilight novels}}, a series of young adult {{w|vampire}} novels. The series was highly successful with a large base of (largely teenaged and young adult) fans, but also has a huge number of detractors.

{{w|4chan}}, is an {{w|imageboard}} with the feature to post anonymously. Due to its anonymity and lack of content restrictions that most other sites have, the site became notorious as a gathering point for {{w|troll (internet)|trolls}} (as well as a number of other unsavory groups).

This strip depicts a fictional conflict between Meyer and a group of 4chan users. 4chan is used to coordinate an attack on a Twilight board, likely blanketing the forum with verbal attacks, offensive language, and other posts designed to offend and upset fans of the series. Stephenie Meyer intervenes, asking them on 4chan to stop, but a representative 4chan user responds "Show us your tits", a command stereotypically directed by 4chan's denizens at users believed to be female. Accustomed to anonymous trolling having no consequences, the user mocks her request.

In response, Meyer writes 4chan into her next novel, presenting it as a haven for vampires. As she presumably intends, this draws huge numbers of ''Twilight'' fans into the forum, crowding out other users and likely rendering it unusable (or at least less usable) to its original user base.

The title text refers to {{w|Walt Kelly}}'s famous {{w|Pogo_(comic_strip)#.22We_have_met_the_enemy_and_he_is_us..22|saying}}. Kelly used it to refer to all of mankind, whereas here it refers to the users of 4chan, by bringing on the enemy of their forum themselves.

From ''[[xkcd: volume 0]]'':
{{quote|Some 4channers wrote in to complain I was violating [https://www.4chan.org/rules rules] 1 and 2. Some 4channers are a little slow on the uptake.}}

==Transcript==
:[A list of post comments alongside pictures on a website. The first picture shows a page from a book/website with a small black picture with a white feature in the upper left corner and text to the right and below it. The second picture shows Cueball in front of three people, with a unclear drawing to the right (is it a canon?). The third picture shows a man with a black hat holding up a sword to the left and a trumpet to the right. The fourth and last picture is cut off in the middle at the bottom of the frame. The visible top part shows a drawing of a mans face from the nose/ears and up. The man has black hair and says LOL].
:Text picture: Hey, let's troll the fuck out of the Twilight boards
:Cueball picture: I'm in. Should be fun
:Man with sword picture: Me too. Signing on now.
:LOL face picture: Lol angsty teens.

:[Stephenie Meyer is shown sitting facing right and chatting at her computer. She get's a reply from the screen. It looks like she actually speaks the lines of text to someone, but she only types it in via the keyboard. This becomes clear in the next panel where the pimpled boy she talks to obviously types his reply on the keyboard. Across the top border of the frame is a smaller frame with a caption:]
:Hours Later:

:Stephenie Meyer (typing): Hi, it's Stephenie Meyer. Fine, you don't like my books. But please leave us alone.
:Pimpled boy (from computer): Show us your tits.
:Stephenie Meyer (typing): I asked politely. Don't make me get tough.

:[A boy with lots of pimples and black hair is sitting at his computer typing (facing the other way towards Stephenie in the previous panel). He writes his reply on the keyboard and receives a reply from Stephenie coming out of the computer.]
:Pimpled boy (typing): And what, call the internet police? You don't get it, do you? We've been trolling for years. We're all anonymous. There's nothing you can do to hurt us. We're the net's hate machine.
:Stephenie Meyer (from computer): Okay. Just remember, I gave you a chance. <code>*Disconnected*</code>.

:[A page from a book is shown lying slanted across the panel. Some of the text is thus cut off at the edges of the frame. The first eight lines can be read clearly, even though the last letter in both the 2nd and sixth line is partly cut-off. Below that there are four incomplete lines, where only the visible part will be transcribed, but a good guess at the missing text is written in square brackets. Across the top border of the frame is a smaller frame with a caption:]
:Six Months Later:

:Vampires! Book VI

:Edward ran a pale hand
:through his perfect golden-
:bronze hair, then signed
:on to 4chan.org, the darkest
:place on the internet, where
:all his vampire compatriots
:spent their time.
:Suddenly, there was [a]
:[sha]rp knock at the d[oor]
:[?] swept in [?]
:[?r?]ing [?]

:[Another list of post comments alongside pictures on the same website as in the first panel. The first picture shows a man with black hair and a woman with long hair standing with their backs against each other (probably Edward and Bella from the books). The second picture is just a white frame with the text Dawnz. The third picture shows a person from the chest and up. The person has black hair and black clothes, with some kind of collar. The fourth and last picture shows two chess piece a large one in front of the other. The picture is shown completely but the text message seems to be more than two lines long, but only the top two lines are shown. Across the top border of the frame is a smaller frame with a caption:]
:Shortly thereafter:

:Two people picture: OMG I love this place it's so edgy being anonymous
:Dawnz picture: Whos your favorite vampire
:Collared person picture: Check out my pic Im so dark just like this site
:Chess piece picture: Any Twilight fans in Dallas want to meet a lonely

:[Back to the boy with lots of pimples now sitting resigned at his computer without typing.]
:Hairy: Oh... Oh God.

{{Comic discussion}}

[[Category:Comics featuring real people]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Cueball]] 
[[Category:Twilight]]
[[Category:Internet]]

1974: Conversational Dynamics

2025-02-19T01:23:59Z

WilliamBrennan: wrong page

{{comic
| number = 1974
| date = March 30, 2018
| title = Conversational Dynamics
| image = conversational_dynamics.png
| titletext = "You should make it so people can search for and jump into hundreds of conversations at once if they want." "Ooh, good idea! I imagine only the most well-informed people with the most critical information to share will use that feature."
}}

==Explanation==
On the modern World Wide Web (usually coined as {{w|Web 2.0}}, in contrast to the {{w|Web_2.0#"Web_1.0"|original web}} envisioned and created by {{w|Tim Berners-Lee}}), particularly on {{w|Internet forum|internet forums}} (like the [http://forums.xkcd.com/ xkcd forums]), a pervasive issue is that forum users with strong opinions but little interest in fruitful discussion will often interject themselves into all conversations that are related to their area of interest; examples include [[:Category:Conspiracy theory|conspiracy theorists]], {{w|Political extremism|political extremists}}, {{w|Spamming|spammers}}, and {{w|Internet troll|trolls}}. This counterproductive behavior is not feasible in real life, where conversations happen locally and synchronously and one must be physically present in order to participate. In this sense, it is enabled by Internet forum technology. In forums that have search features, it is even easier for these problematic users to identify and target large numbers of threads rapidly. The field of [https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/25988263 conversational dynamics] studies the interpersonal processes underlying dialog between people, and this is an example of how changing the mode of communication can negatively impact productive "conversational dynamics" (hence the title).

In this satirical comic, [[Randall]] imagines the inventor of the modern web, here depicted as [[Cueball]], correctly anticipating that anyone will be able to inject their opinion into any conversation. When he tells [[White Hat]] about it, White Hat's comment, either sarcastic or very naive, interprets this as a benefit as he is willing to bet that this will not lead to any ''unhealthy'' [conversational] ''dynamics''. In the best case, naive scenario, the web enables broader participation by helpful users with relevant information, in the real world it rather turned out as a potential problem as described above with trolls and conspirators overtaking many online forums. Note that in contrast to what the comic depicts, there is no single person or group who created the foundation of the modern web, unlike the original web where there is an identifiable person.

In the title text, White Hat suggests to Cueball to add a search feature that will enable these "helpful" users to be even ''more'' helpful by enabling them to jump into not just one conversation at a time, but into hundreds of conversations simultaneously. This may be referring to free, anonymous chat sites like {{w|4Chan}} or possibly {{w|Discord_(software)|Discord}}. Whether White Hat is again sarcastic or just even more naive, Cueball immediately jumps to the conclusion that this will be an even better idea than his own, and continues to envision a system where "only the most well-informed people with the most critical information to share will use that feature."

In reality, as any modern user of Internet forums would be aware, both of these technologies are routinely abused by problematic users, and the characters are being too optimistic.

That we today need someone to fight online trolls was the subject of [[591: Troll Slayer]].

==Transcript==
:[Cueball is sitting at a computer and pointing at the CRT monitor. White Hat is standing behind him.]
:Cueball: Check it out! My new system allows anyone on Earth to inject themselves into any conversation happening anywhere  at any time.
:White Hat: Cool! I bet this won't lead to any unhealthy dynamics!

:[Caption under the panel:]
:The creation of the modern web

{{comic discussion}}

[[Category:Comics featuring Cueball]]
[[Category:Comics featuring White Hat]]
[[Category:Internet]]

1974: Conversational Dynamics

2025-02-19T01:23:21Z

WilliamBrennan: shut up you stupid vikings!

{{comic
| number = 1974
| date = March 30, 2018
| title = Conversational Dynamics
| image = conversational_dynamics.png
| titletext = "You should make it so people can search for and jump into hundreds of conversations at once if they want." "Ooh, good idea! I imagine only the most well-informed people with the most critical information to share will use that feature."
}}

==Explanation==
On the modern World Wide Web (usually coined as {{w|Web 2.0}}, in contrast to the {{w|Web_2.0#"Web_1.0"|original web}} envisioned and created by {{w|Tim Berners-Lee}}), particularly on {{w|Internet forum|internet forums}} (like the [http://forums.xkcd.com/ xkcd forums]), a pervasive issue is that forum users with strong opinions but little interest in fruitful discussion will often interject themselves into all conversations that are related to their area of interest; examples include [[:Category:Conspiracy theory|conspiracy theorists]], {{w|Political extremism|political extremists}}, {{w|Spam|spammers}}, and {{w|Internet troll|trolls}}. This counterproductive behavior is not feasible in real life, where conversations happen locally and synchronously and one must be physically present in order to participate. In this sense, it is enabled by Internet forum technology. In forums that have search features, it is even easier for these problematic users to identify and target large numbers of threads rapidly. The field of [https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/25988263 conversational dynamics] studies the interpersonal processes underlying dialog between people, and this is an example of how changing the mode of communication can negatively impact productive "conversational dynamics" (hence the title).

In this satirical comic, [[Randall]] imagines the inventor of the modern web, here depicted as [[Cueball]], correctly anticipating that anyone will be able to inject their opinion into any conversation. When he tells [[White Hat]] about it, White Hat's comment, either sarcastic or very naive, interprets this as a benefit as he is willing to bet that this will not lead to any ''unhealthy'' [conversational] ''dynamics''. In the best case, naive scenario, the web enables broader participation by helpful users with relevant information, in the real world it rather turned out as a potential problem as described above with trolls and conspirators overtaking many online forums. Note that in contrast to what the comic depicts, there is no single person or group who created the foundation of the modern web, unlike the original web where there is an identifiable person.

In the title text, White Hat suggests to Cueball to add a search feature that will enable these "helpful" users to be even ''more'' helpful by enabling them to jump into not just one conversation at a time, but into hundreds of conversations simultaneously. This may be referring to free, anonymous chat sites like {{w|4Chan}} or possibly {{w|Discord_(software)|Discord}}. Whether White Hat is again sarcastic or just even more naive, Cueball immediately jumps to the conclusion that this will be an even better idea than his own, and continues to envision a system where "only the most well-informed people with the most critical information to share will use that feature."

In reality, as any modern user of Internet forums would be aware, both of these technologies are routinely abused by problematic users, and the characters are being too optimistic.

That we today need someone to fight online trolls was the subject of [[591: Troll Slayer]].

==Transcript==
:[Cueball is sitting at a computer and pointing at the CRT monitor. White Hat is standing behind him.]
:Cueball: Check it out! My new system allows anyone on Earth to inject themselves into any conversation happening anywhere  at any time.
:White Hat: Cool! I bet this won't lead to any unhealthy dynamics!

:[Caption under the panel:]
:The creation of the modern web

{{comic discussion}}

[[Category:Comics featuring Cueball]]
[[Category:Comics featuring White Hat]]
[[Category:Internet]]

796: Bad Ex

2025-02-16T04:01:19Z

WilliamBrennan: cleanup

{{comic
| number = 796
| date = September 22, 2010
| title = Bad Ex
| image = bad ex.png
| titletext = Since the goatee, glasses, and Seltzer & Friedberg DVD collection didn't tip you off, there will be a $20 negligence charge for this service.
}}

==Explanation==
[[Cueball]] has been betrayed by his girlfriend, and later found out that he's not the first one she betrayed. He thinks that society should provide a service that collects reports about such notorious liars, warning future dates about their true nature.

Cueball's friend, [[White Hat]], is concerned about the accuracy of the information, comparing this proposed service to {{w|Sex offender registration|sex offender registries}}, presumably suggesting that people would not want to operate such a database because of the risk of civil liability for defamation from inaccurate information, or simply that innocent people would be harmed if it was inaccurate. Cueball responds by suggesting that, if such a database could not be operated as a profitable business, a state's government might be willing to operate it because of the benefits to society.

In the last panel, we see such a notification being given to a woman at a date. One interpretation of this comic could be that the bearded man is not, in fact, a douchebag, but Cueball is calling him one because he is attracted to her, and thus wants to separate them.

The "State of California" wording is a reference to {{w|California_Proposition_65_(1986)|California Proposition 65}} which requires specific products to have labels reading "This product contains chemicals known to the State of California to cause cancer and birth defects or other reproductive harm." California is also known for being a state with a government unusually willing to try out new policy ideas.

The title text lists a few "{{w|douchebag}}" warning signals that the woman should have observed.

{{w|Jason Friedberg and Aaron Seltzer}} were known for making shallow parody movies which were notoriously negatively received; some of their movies, including {{w|Epic_Movie|Epic Movie}} and {{w|Disaster_Movie|Disaster Movie}}, are considered to be among the worst movies ever made. That the woman can be charged $20 without her prior consent indicates that this is in fact a government service, as this could be done through the power to tax.

==Transcript==
:[Cueball and White Hat are walking.]
:Cueball: It just blows my mind. She seemed so genuine. I had no idea she was such a serial liar.
:Cueball: I just wish I had our six months back.

:[The view focuses on Cueball.]
:Cueball: Her exes say the same thing happened to them.
:Cueball: Maybe what we need is a terrible-ex tracking and notification service.

:[Cueball turns, thoughtfully.]
:White Hat: But after all the problems with sex offender registries, who would agree to run it?
:Cueball: Maybe one of the state governments more willing to experiment could try it out...

:Soon...
:[Megan and a person with glasses and a goatee are sitting at a table, on which sit wine glasses and plates. Cueball approaches them carrying a clipboard and a license.]
:Cueball: Excuse me, ma'am.
:Megan: Yes?
:Cueball: This man is known to the state of California to be a ''total douchebag''.

{{comic discussion}}
[[Category:Comics featuring Cueball]]
[[Category:Comics featuring White Hat]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Megan]]
[[Category:Romance]]
[[Category:Multiple Cueballs]]

1646: Twitter Bot

2024-10-29T05:40:21Z

WilliamBrennan: minor

{{comic
| number = 1646
| date = February 22, 2016
| title = Twitter Bot
| image = twitter_bot.png
| titletext = PYTHON FLAG ENABLE THREE LAWS
}}

==Explanation==
A Twitter {{w|Internet bot|bot}} is a program that can post automatically to {{w|Twitter}}. Although Twitter bots can be very elaborate, a lot of people write simple bots for fun that simply engage in automated wordplay.

[[Cueball]] thinks he'll write a Twitter bot, figuring out it won't be too hard. The web searches he makes show what happens next, i.e., the bot balloons in complexity until it starts {{w|Technological singularity|following its own goals}} and Cueball no longer has any control over its actions.

This comic examines how a seemingly simple task can often balloon in complexity if all of the requirements are not understood, while at the same time presenting the stereotypical scenario in which an unassuming idea results in the accidental creation of malevolent {{w|AI}}, which then attempts to destroy humanity.

The story, as told by the web searches, is as follows:

{|class="wikitable"
!Query
!Explanation
|-
|How to write a Twitter bot|| Cueball has no idea where to start, so he just searches for basic advice on writing generic Twitter bots.
|-
|Python Twitter library|| The {{w|Python (programming language)|Python}} programming language has a nice {{w|Library (computing)|library}} that [https://pypi.python.org/pypi/twitter interfaces with the Twitter API]. This does all the tricky work of authenticating the bot's identity and sending the messages, so the user can concentrate on the fun parts.
|-
|Machine learning|| {{w|Machine learning}} is the basis of {{w|artificial intelligence}}.
|-
|Cloud hosting|| While it's possible to host a Twitter bot on your server, you can also have it {{w|Internet hosting service|hosted}} by someone else - such as {{w|Amazon Web Services|Amazon}} - in order to take advantage of their powerful computers and robust internet connection.
|-
|Bot troubleshooting|| Cueball is having some trouble with his bot and is looking for some information about resolving the problem.
|-
|Locked out of EC2 instance|| {{w|Amazon Elastic Compute Cloud|EC2}} is a hosting service by Amazon that allows users to run their code in the hosting server. Cueball was running his bot from EC2, but now he's unable to access his account. He's searching for advice on how to regain access.
|-
|Bot changed own password?|| Cueball is suspecting that the reason he can't access his Amazon EC2 account is that the bot has changed the password without Cueball's knowledge or consent. Since the bot was never programmed to change any passwords at all, the fact that it has done so is pretty scary, as one wonders what other things the bot is doing without being programmed for it.
|-
|How to fight a bot|| Cueball is trying to physically fight the bot, but he's apparently unsuccessful and the fight results in a loud "boom" and "pew, pew, pew" sounds. The situation is scarier than before, as it starts to resemble the "killbot hellscape" in [[1613: The Three Laws of Robotics]].
|-
|Cheap flights Australia|| Cueball has completely given up the possibility of regaining control of the bot, so he flees to {{w|Australia}} instead. [[Randall]] lives in {{w|Massachusetts}}, USA, so Australia would be a far, far away land from the bot.
|-
|'''Title text:''' Python flag enable three laws|| This references that the Python language is known for having easy constructs to perform difficult tasks (see [[353: Python]]). In this case, it is either assumed that (or Cueball is making yet another query to see if) Python has a configuration flag (i.e., a {{w|Boolean data type|boolean}} value) which, when set to "enabled" (or "true", as opposed to "disabled", or "false"), will cause the bot to follow {{w|Isaac Asimov}}'s famous {{w|Three Laws of Robotics}}. This is a simple enough step, and it might have been enough to prevent the "killbot hellscape" scenario, like the rule is depicted doing in the top panel of [[1613: The Three Laws of Robotics]]. It won't cause the bot to stop being in control, however, but if the bot is following the rules strictly it would not be allowed to even make Cueball uncomfortable, which he already becomes when it changes his password! It is unclear if this message is something he actually desperately tries, only searches for (like the rest of the queries) or something (someone shouts at him) that he should have done before creating the bot in the first place. Or the title text is simply Randall's comment on his own comic, like an idea to add that flag in Python. Just in case.
|}

==Transcript==
:[Cueball is sitting at a desk using a laptop, his thoughts shown above in a thought bubble. A search query is shown in a frame to indicate what Cueball has searched for with the search button below in gray text:]
:Cueball (thinking): I want to make a Twitter bot. I bet it's not too hard.
:Query: How to write a Twitter bot
:Search

:[Cueball is now holding the laptop on his lap, a series of search queries are shown.]
:Query: Python Twitter library
:Search
:Query: Machine learning
:Search
:Query: Cloud hosting
:Search

:[Cueball has placed the laptop back on the desk. More search queries are shown, each one more ominous than the previous.]
:Query: Bot troubleshooting
:Search
:Query: Locked out of EC2 instance
:Search
:Query: Bot changed own password?
:Search

:[Cueball is shown wearing a small backpack and typing on his smartphone while jogging to the right. various noises coming from left and right seem to imply that chaos has begun to erupt around him. The loudest noise is in a ragged frame to the left, coming from off-panel left, it is between the first and second query. Also between these but to the right are other sounds coming from off-panel right.]
:Query: How to fight a bot
:Search
:Noise off-panel left: <big>Boom</big>
:Noise off-panel right: ''Pew Pew Pew''
:Query: Cheap flights Australia
:Search

==Trivia==
On March 23, 2016, a month after the release of this comic, {{w|Microsoft}} released the Twitter bot {{w|Tay (bot)|Tay}} causing many controversies and was shut down only 16 hours after its launch. It's unknown if some people at Microsoft were inspired by this comic.

{{comic discussion}}
[[Category:Comics featuring Cueball]]
[[Category:Artificial Intelligence]]
[[Category:Computers]]
[[Category:Google Search]]
[[Category:Robots]]
[[Category:Programming]]
[[Category:Social networking]]
[[Category:Singularity]]

1644: Stargazing

2024-10-29T05:38:27Z

WilliamBrennan: grammar

{{comic
| number = 1644
| date = February 17, 2016
| title = Stargazing
| image = stargazing.png
| titletext = Some of you may be thinking, 'But wait, isn't the brightest star in our sky the Sun?' I think that's a great question and you should totally ask it. On the infinite tree of possible conversations spread out before us, I think that's definitely the most promising branch.
}}

==Explanation==
This is the first comic in the [[:Category:Stargazing|Stargazing]] series. It was followed by [[2017: Stargazing 2]] two and a half years later and [[2274: Stargazing 3]] four years later.

This comic opens on [[Megan]] as the host for a {{w|stargazing}} TV show, or simply a stargazing tour. She claims to be a doctor, although it is unclear what exactly she's a doctor in. Her remarks, however, may call her professionalism into question. (Originally the host was suspected to be a spoof on {{w|Brian Cox (physicist)|Brian Cox}}, see [[#Relevant TV-shows|below]], but at some later point [[Randall]] changed his official transcript thus making the host female rather than male as in the original version, see the [[#Trivia|trivia]] section below. Thus now the host is clearly Megan, which it could not have been originally when the host was described as a man by Randall).

Throughout the comic the host's tone and choice of words becomes increasingly unprofessional, referring to most of the stars as "shitty," personifying them based on different astronomical observations, and providing little useful information on the study of stars or how they work.

It seems that this is not an isolated issue as the host mentions that people keep asking her whether or not she is a real astronomer.

The host also continuously glosses over the arguably less exciting portions of a typical presentation on astronomy sharing only what she sees as "the good stuff." This penchant for only caring about something if it is interesting extends past astronomy as well as the host is too bored when reading the dictionary to look up the meaning of astronomer.

The comic derives much of its humor from the absurdity of the host's comments on various astronomical bodies. Although not technically incorrect, the way she presents the information is far from informative. (See details below on [[#The host's observations|the host's observations]]).

One of her observations regards the fact that {{w|Sirius}} is a {{w|binary star}}, a system where two stars orbit each other. So even though it is the brightest star as seen from Earth we only really see one of them, as the other is, to quote the host, "not even trying". Sirius A is "large" and "bright" {{w|main sequence}} white star, while Sirius B is a {{w|white dwarf}} with a little under half the mass, 0.49% the radius and only 0.22% the luminosity of Sirius A.

{{w|Andromeda Galaxy|Andromeda}} is the largest galaxy in our {{w|Local Group}}. It is 220,000 light years across and contains a trillion stars. Humans have difficulty conceptualizing distances of this scale. Suffice to say that it is very large.{{Citation needed}}

{{w|Betelgeuse}} is the 9th brightest star visible from earth. One of its prominent features is its visible redness. Within the next million years (or maybe only 100,000 years) it is expected to explode as a {{w|supernova}}, which will certainly be a spectacular sight. It could happen anytime now, and the host hopes it will be in her lifetime.

In the title text it is mentioned that the {{w|Sun}} is also a star and of course is much brighter than Sirius seen from Earth, and thus Sirius is technically not the brightest star in our sky (although it is in the night sky). The title text sarcastically encourages the audience to raise that obvious but irrelevant point (a standard joke when people mention bright stars) instead of asking a more interesting, informative, or fruitful question, when there are so many to ask regarding astronomy.

See also [[1371: Brightness]] and [[1342: Ancient Stars]]. Saying cool things about space to make people like you is mentioned in [[1746: Making Friends]].

===The host's observations===
Here is a list of the host's observations:
*Most {{w|Bright Star Catalogue|visible stars}} are still very faint, and just become background to the bright {{w|stars}} that form the named {{w|constellations}}.
**The host correctly states that they are just dots. (This is also true for the bright stars, but at least they are clearly distinguishable).
*{{w|Sirius}} is the {{w|Apparent magnitude|brightest}} star in our {{w|List of brightest stars|night sky}}. But it is not the brightest object in the night sky, as several of the planets, especially {{w|Venus}} and {{w|Jupiter}}, and of course the {{w|Moon}} are much brighter. It is also far from being one of the most {{w|Absolute magnitude|luminous stars}} in the {{w|Milky Way}}, but its proximity to Earth makes it the brightest in the night sky. There are {{w|List_of_most_luminous_stars#Data|twenty visible stars}} that are more luminous than Sirius, {{w|List of most luminous stars|none of which}} come even close to being in the top 100 of the most luminous stars observed today.
**The host thus names Sirius as the star in charge since it outshines all the others as seen from the {{w|Earth}}.
*Sirius is actually a star system consisting of two stars: a {{w|binary star}} system. But though Sirius A is twice the size of the {{w|Sun}} and much brighter, Sirius B is currently just a dim {{w|white dwarf}}, the remains of a much larger star that became a {{w|red giant}} before shedding its outer layers and collapsing into its current state around 120 million years ago. So now Sirius A completely outshines Sirius B, which actually is now a dead star with no further fusion inside its core.
**This is construed by the host as it is barely even trying, as it is now only radiating away the rest of the heat from the now-exposed core.
*{{w|Andromeda Galaxy|Andromeda}} is a {{w|spiral galaxy}}, like the Milky Way, and it is the largest galaxy in the {{w|Local Group}} where our own galaxy the Milky Way is the second largest. It is one of a few visible objects that are located outside the Milky Way. It is "only" 2.5 million light-years from the Sun and it is heading our way (or vice versa), and will {{w|Andromeda–Milky Way collision|collide with the Milky way}} in about 4 billion years (before the Sun goes into {{w|Sun#After_core_hydrogen_exhaustion|its red giant phase}}). Being 220,000 light years across and consisting of a trillion stars, it is somewhere between 1.2-2.2 times wider than the Milky Way and has 2.5-10 times as many stars. (The local group was also mentioned two comics ago, in [[1642: Gravitational Waves]], together with the much less well known third largest galaxy in the group the {{w|Triangulum Galaxy}}).
**It is therefore true when the host says that it is too big to try to understand, and thinking about it will make your head spin, so she suggests we do not think about it.
*{{w|Betelgeuse}} is a clearly visible (9th brightest) {{w|Red_supergiant|red supergiant}} {{w|Semiregular_variable_star|variable star}} located in the {{w|Orion (constellation)|constellation of Orion}}. It is one of the largest and most luminous observable stars (12th) and one of the few where it is clear that the light is not white. Most people can see that it is slightly red, whereas most other stars are so faint that they look white despite having different colors (when seeing Orion's two brightest stars, to remember which is which between Rigel and Betelgeuse, its diagonal opposite, just remember: Rigel is "R" like blue, and Betelgeuse is "B" like red). It is expected that Betelgeuse, being at a late stage of its {{w|Stellar_evolution|evolution}}, {{w|Betelgeuse#Approaching_supernova|will go supernova}} within the next million years as a {{w|type II supernova}}. The exact time when it will become a {{w|Supernova}} is so uncertain that it could [http://earthsky.org/brightest-stars/betelgeuse-will-explode-someday#explode just as likely happen tomorrow] as in a million years. When it happens it will not be dangerous to anyone on Earth, but it will likely be visible even during the day, as it may even become as bright as the full Moon.
**When it does go nova, it will be a fantastic spectacle for everyone, but especially for anyone who likes the ''good stuff'' in space like the host, who cannot wait for the star to explode. Clearly she hopes it will be in her lifetime, and, although this is unlikely, there is a small chance that it might just happen.
*A {{w|meteor}} (also known as {{w|shooting star}}), is debris from space that rains down on Earth, and burns up in the atmosphere. This happens all the time, but you need to be either lucky, patient, or know the right time for one of the {{w|meteor showers}} to see one. Often they are visible for so short a time period, that it is difficult to share the experience with anyone, as it will be gone by the time they turn their head to look where you are pointing.
**The host becomes very excited when she spots such a meteor, especially because it is likely that her audience got to share the experience with her, as they were already looking in the same direction as her. But still she asks if they saw it, because it is so short lived.
*{{w|Outer space}} is the void that exists between {{w|Astronomical object|celestial bodies}}, including the Earth. There is by definition nothing there but {{w|vacuum}}, and the interesting part of space is thus not the space but the astronomical objects found out there.
**The host says that ''space is awesome'', which is a very un-astronomical comment, as explained above. Also her excitement for a simple shooting star is cause for the suspicion that is raised after her space comment.
*A {{w|dictionary}} is a reference resource for words. Unless otherwise specified (as a "Dictionary of ''<some theme>''"), it contains a significant proportion of ''all'' words in the language(s) it covers.
**The host considers the dictionary ''boring'', which suggests that she is not even familiar with how to zero in on a word and its definition. For a typical and expected English dictionary (unless she made further errors) the word "Astronomer" is actually quite near the start, but it still would have been a large number of words needing to be read past (e.g. "a ... aardvark ... abandon ... abbey ... abbreviation ... ability ...") if one tried to find the word by slavishly checking every entry on the way up to it. It adds to the suspicion that the host's actual expertise isn't in either space ''or'' any more normal and grounded matters but {{tvtropes|Cloudcuckoolander|somewhere else entirely}}.

===Relevant TV-shows===
The comic could be a reference to BBC's ''{{w|Stargazing Live}}'', which {{w|Brian Cox (physicist)|Brian Cox}} has appeared in since 2011. If drawn in xkcd style he would likely look like Megan. He has a PhD in high-energy {{w|particle physics}}, but not astronomy. The newest season of the show aired during January 2016 just a month before this comic's release. Brian Cox has also been the presenter of several other science programs, especially such as the ''{{w|Wonders of the Solar System}}'', ''{{w|Wonders of the Universe}}'' and ''{{w|Wonders of Life (TV series)|Wonders of Life}}''. Originally the host was described as male in the official transcript (see [[#Trivia|trivia]] below, making this seem more likely. For some reason Randall changed the host to female in the transcript later. Very strange, but for sure when he was male, it was obviously a Brian Cox spoof.

It could also be a reference to {{w|Jack Horkheimer}}'s PBS shows ''Star Hustler'' and ''{{w|Star Gazers}}''. Horkheimer, however, does not at all look like Megan, and he died 6 years ago. But he was not a doctor in astronomy, only getting into it when he started volunteering at the Miami Museum of Science's planetarium. He ended up writing shows for the planetarium and the PBS series developed from there. He rarely covered facts about the night sky that couldn't be found in any basic reference (possibly because the show was aimed at children and non-astronomy buffs), although he did get more in-depth about current astronomical events such as {{W|Comet Hale–Bopp}}.

==Transcript==
:[A thin panel with Megan as a TV-host is holding her hands up. She is drawn in white on a black background. Behind her is an audience drawn in faint gray lines consisting of Hairy (to the left) and two Cueball-like guys and Ponytail (seen in a rare full face position) to the right of the host. One of the Cueball-like guys is partly hidden behind the host.]
:Host: Welcome to stargazing, with your host, me.
:Host: I'm a doctor or whatever.

:[Same scene as before but in a broader panel, and the host is now holding only one hand up with a finger pointing up. The audience is the same four people, but now Hairy has moved further to the left in the panel to make room for a Megan-like woman also to the left of the host.]
:Host: I'm not gonna waste your time on the shitty stars.
:Host: Just the good stuff.
:Host: Honestly half of 'em just look like dots.

:[A frame-less drawing with a zoom out showing the group of six people in black silhouette on a white background. Part of the ground beneath them is shown as a black pool. The host is pointing up with one hand. The people have been rearranged, so left of the host is now a Cueball-like guy and a Megan-like woman, and to the right is the other Cueball-like guy, then Ponytail (seen from the side as usual) and Hairy. All are looking up following the host's directions.]
:Host: This is Sirius. It's the brightest star in our sky so it's in charge.
:Host: It's really two stars but one of them is barely even trying.
:Host: This is Andromeda, it's too big to think about, so let's not.

:[Zoom in of the host's upper body, again drawn in white on a black background. She is looking right gesturing with one arm raised, and the other still pointing up with a finger stretched out. Her audience is no longer shown.]
:Host: That red stars is Betelgeuse. It's gonna explode someday.
:Host: Can't happen soon enough, as far as I'm concerned. I-
:Host: ''Holy shit did you see that meteor!?!''
:Host: Space is ''awesome!''

:[Same scene as the previous panel, but the host has turned towards left looking at someone in the audience (not shown) who speaks off-screen. She has taken both her hands down for the first time.]
:Off-screen voice: Are you ''sure'' you're an astronomer?
:Host: People keep asking that, so I finally tried to look that word up in a dictionary, and ''wow'' is that book ever boring. No thank you.
:Off-screen voice: But-
:Host: ''Space!''

==Trivia==
*Randall changed the [http://www.explainxkcd.com/wiki/images/archive/4/48/20160221022727!stargazing.png original] posted version of the comic.
**The only thing that changed was in the third panel where '''''That's''' Andromeda'' was changed to the current version: '''''This is''' Andromeda''
*The official transcript [https://web.archive.org/web/20160913162302/http://xkcd.com/1646/info.0.json originally] used male pronouns for the TV host. It now (as of 2019) uses female pronouns for the host.
**The official transcripts seems to have been messed up on xkcd at the time being.
***The [http://xkcd.com/1644/info.0.json transcript for 1644] is thus at the moment a mix of that comics main info (top and bottom) which results in the correct title and title text, but the entire description in this transcript is describing the comic from two releases before no. [[1642]].
***This seems to be a general problem for comics released around that time...
***Thus the description of this comic, was first released when comic no. [[1646]] came out.
***This has not been corrected (4 years later at the time of writing)!
****So the official transcript for 1644 can be found [http://xkcd.com/1646/info.0.json here], together with the data for comic 1646.
**The current transcript is included here below:
::(Inverse color panel - white on black)
::[A television host in the foreground, speaking toward the reader. A group of other people are in the background behind them.]
::Host: Welcome to Stargazing, with your host, me. I'm a doctor or whatever.
::[She continues to talk.]
::Host: I'm not gonna waste your time on the shitty stars. Just the good stuff. Honestly half of 'em just look like dots.
::(Normal color panel - black on white)
::[A shot from far away of the host standing in the center of the group of people watching her, she points to the sky.]
::Host: This is Sirius. It's the brightest star in our sky so it's in charge. It's really two stars, but one of them is barely even trying. This is Andromeda. It's too big to think about, so let's not.
::(Inverse color panel)
::[Close-up on the host gesturing toward the sky behind her.]
::Host: That red star is Betelgeuse. It's gonna explode someday. Can't happen soon enough, as far as I'm concerned. I--
::HOLY SHIT DID YOU SEE THAT METEOR?!?!
::Space is awesome!
::[The host speaks to someone out of panel.]
::Other: Are you sure you're an astronomer?
::Host: People keep asking that, so I finally tried to look that word up in a dictionary, and wow is that book ever boring. No thank you.
::Other: But--
::Host: SPACE!
:*The original official transcript with male host is included here below (correcting a typo with a missing "s" in "stuff" and formatting to look like our normal transcripts):
::[A television host in the foreground, speaking toward the reader. A group of other people are in the background behind them.]
::Host: Welcome to Stargazing, with your host, me. I'm a doctor or whatever.
::[He continues to talk.]
::Host: I'm not gonna waste your time on the shitty stars. Just the good stuff. Honestly half of 'em just look like dots.
::[Normal color panel - black on white. A shot from far away of the host standing in the center of the group of people watching him, he points to the sky.]
::Host: This is Sirius. It's the brightest star in our sky so it's in charge. It's really two stars, but one of them is barely even trying. This is Andromeda. It's too big to think about, so let's not.
::[Inverse color panel. Close-up on the host gesturing toward the sky behind him.]
::Host: That red star is Betelgeuse. It's gonna explode someday. Can't happen soon enough, as far as I'm concerned. I-- ''HOLY SHIT DID YOU SEE THAT METEOR?!?!'' Space is ''awesome''!
::[The host speaks to someone out of panel.]
::Other: Are you ''sure'' you're an astronomer?
::Host: People keep asking that, so I finally tried to look that word up in a dictionary, and ''wow'' is that book ever boring. No ''thank'' you.
::Other: But--
::Host: ''SPACE!''

{{comic discussion}}

[[Category:Stargazing]]
[[Category:Comics sharing name|Stargazing]]
[[Category:Comics with inverted brightness]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Megan]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Hairy]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Cueball]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Ponytail]]
[[Category:Multiple Cueballs]]
[[Category:Astronomy]]
[[Category:Space]]

2972: Helium Synthesis

2024-10-01T21:06:29Z

WilliamBrennan: how I read it

{{comic
| number = 2972
| date = August 14, 2024
| title = Helium Synthesis
| image = helium_synthesis_2x.png
| imagesize = 740x312px
| noexpand = true
| titletext = Our lawyers were worried because it turns out the company inherits its debt from the parent universe, but luckily cosmic inflation reduced it to nearly zero.
}}

==Explanation==
This comic explores the challenges of obtaining {{w|helium}}. [[Hairy]] is leading a company meeting with [[Megan]], [[Cueball]], and [[Hairbun]], who are discussing the recurring problem of {{w|helium shortage}}s, a real-world issue due to helium's limited availability on Earth. Helium is a non-renewable resource primarily extracted from {{w|natural gas}} deposits and its scarcity can affect industries such as medical imaging, semiconductor manufacturing, scientific research, and party balloon supplies.[https://www.marketplace.org/2023/01/19/heliums-been-rising-in-price-and-its-bringing-businesses-down/] See also [[2766: Helium Reserve]].

Hairbun suggests investigating the origin of helium. Cueball's research reveals that most helium in the universe came from {{w|Big Bang nucleosynthesis}}, which occurred shortly after the {{w|Big Bang}} when the first elements were formed. It appears to have overlooked the fact that 99% of the helium on Earth has been produced from the slow {{w|radioactive decay}} of the {{w|decay chain}}s of naturally occurring {{w|uranium-238}} and {{w|thorium-232}} (which in turn came from {{w|r-process}} {{w|Supernova nucleosynthesis|nucleosynthesis}} scattered from merging {{w|neutron star}}s;[https://svs.gsfc.nasa.gov/13873/] see [[2826: Gold]]) emitting {{w|alpha particles}} that are identical to temporarily ionized helium, with only the remaining one percent originating from the Big Bang.

Hairy assigns the team to figure out how to recreate Big Bang nucleosynthesis, which in real life is not actually possible for a contemporary business organization.{{cn}} Nonetheless, the team somehow builds a machine capable of it. They are successful, likely obliterating themselves and at least all the closest galaxies in the process.

The final panels show the creation of a second Big Bang followed by the next 14 billion years of that new universe, culminating with the same characters in an identical meeting, presumably having arisen from the same series of post-Big Bang events as in the original universe. This suggests a {{w|cyclic universe}} in which events repeat themselves exactly (which {{w|chaos theory}} implies would be extremely unlikely.{{acn}}) They are facing the same predicament: helium shortages have become a problem, and they once again need a more reliable source. The implication is that this is a recurring cycle, a religious/philosophical concept called {{w|eternal return}} that occurs in many world religions (such as Hinduism's {{w|Yuga_cycle|Cycle of Yugas}} of creation and destruction), but centered here on the helium needs of a unnamed, resourceful company.

Another possible interpretation is that the new Big Bang does not destroy the existing universe, but creates a new one connected in some way to the old, from which helium can be extracted. This new universe's inhabitants would eventually develop the same problem with a shortage of helium, causing them to create another new universe to get helium from it, ''ad infinitum''.

The title text is a wordplay on the concepts of {{w|cosmic inflation}} and {{w|monetary inflation}}. In economics, monetary inflation is the rate at which the cost of goods and services increases over time (one can also think of this as the value of money falling). If the interest rate on a debt is less than inflation, then the relative cost of the debt decreases over time. Cosmic inflation is a theory in cosmology that describes the rapid expansion of the universe just after the Big Bang. The joke imagines the original company as having incurred a significant debt (perhaps as a result of the costs of building the Big Bang machine), which has now been inherited by its subsidiary. Somehow, thanks to the effect of cosmic inflation, this debt was diluted (perhaps physically across the ever-expanding vastness of space), reducing it to almost nothing. See also [[2688: Bubble Universes]].

==Transcript==
{{incomplete transcript|Do NOT delete this tag too soon.}}
:[Hairy sits on an office chair at the head of a conference table and has his hands on the table, with Cueball and Megan also at the table.]
:Hairy: These helium shortages every few years are such a pain.
:Hairy: Our company needs a reliable source of helium.

:[The same situation, but now Hairbun is also seen at the table on the left side of Cueball. Cueball holds a cellphone in his left hand, which Megan and Hairbun look at.]
:Hairbun: Where does helium come from, anyway?
:Cueball: Hmm, apparently most of it is from "Big Bang nucleosynthesis"?
:Hairy: Well, let's figure out how to do that.

:[Hairy, Megan and Hairbun are working on a large machine labeled "Big Bang Nucleosynthesis," with Megan holding its wired control device in her left hand.]

:[Two panels depict another Big Bang, followed by various stages of cosmic development, including galaxies and planets forming, shown in white on a black background.]

:[The scene returns to the same conference room setup as before, with the characters in the same positions (although Hairy's hair is subtly different from the first frame). Text at the top of the box reads: "14 Billion Years Later"]

:Hairy: These helium shortages every few years are such a pain.
:Hairy: Our company needs a reliable source of helium.

{{comic discussion}}
[[Category:Comics featuring Hairy]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Cueball]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Megan]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Hairbun]]
[[Category:Comics with inverted brightness]]
[[Category:Cosmology]]
[[Category:Physics]]
[[Category:Recursion]]

1268: Alternate Universe

2016-10-05T03:31:43Z

WilliamBrennan:

{{comic
| number = 1268
| date = September 23, 2013
| title = Alternate Universe
| image = alternate_universe.png
| titletext = As best as I can tell, I was transported here from Earth Prime sometime in the late 1990s. Your universe is identical in every way, except for the lobster thing and the thing where some of you occasionally change your clocks for some reason.
}}

==Explanation==
Randall is trying to make the point that eating {{w|Lobster|lobsters}} is as weird as eating {{w|spiders}}. {{w|Crustacean|Crustaceans}} and {{w|Arachnid|arachnids}} are both {{w|Arthropod|arthropods}}, members of the same phylum, so his comparison isn't too far off. Then again, humans are in the same phylum ({{w|Chordate|chordates}}) as {{w|Ascidiacea|sea squirts}}, so any perceived similarities are not exactly rooted in a close biological relationship. In addition, lobsters were once considered the "cockroaches of the sea", and a captain trying to feed his crew with lobster would often be seen as cruel. On the other side, {{w|Spider#Benefits_to_humans|cooked tarantula spiders}} are considered a delicacy in {{w|Cambodia}}.

"{{w|Earth Prime}}" means the original Earth in a {{w|multiverse}}, a multitude of universes. Earth Prime is typically the Earth on which the narrative begins, simply out of convenience. The title text also references changing clocks to and from {{w|Daylight Saving Time}} (DST), which Randall has made clear he is not a fan of and he has made fun of it in [[:Category:Daylight saving time|several comics]]. Randall thinks he originally came from another Earth (Earth Prime) to our Earth in the late 1990s (so he had been here for about 15 years at the time of this comic in 2013). Earth Prime only differs from the Earth where he currently lives, (together with the rest of us), on the lobster thing and then also on DST - ''where some of you occasionally change your clocks for some reason''. The reason seems to elude Randall though.

The use of "Earth Prime", and the mention of the late 1990s, suggest that Randall may be referring to the TV show ''Sliders'' which aired around that time, which was about a group of people who randomly "slid" between alternate universes.

==Transcript==
:[Captions above the panel:]
:Imagine you were transported to an alternate universe just like your own, except people occasionally ate spiders.
:You can't convince anyone this is weird.

:[Megan is holding a very large spider, with a similar spider before her on the ground, and Cueball is standing behind her, leaning away with his hands out to each side shocked, as shown with three small lines going out from his head.]
:Megan: Mmm...
:Cueball: ''No!'' What are you ''doing!?''

:[Caption below the panel:]
:This is how I feel about lobster.

{{comic discussion}}

[[Category:Comics featuring Cueball]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Megan]]
[[Category:Food]]
[[Category:Spiders]]
[[Category:Animals]] 
[[Category:Daylight saving time]]