explain xkcd - User contributions [en]

1636: XKCD Stack

2016-01-29T08:53:09Z

Y1ff: /* Explanation of steps */ Added some stuff to the table

{{comic
| number = 1636
| date = January 29, 2016
| title = XKCD Stack
| image = xkcd_stack.png
| titletext = This site requires Sun Java 6.0.0.1 (32-bit) or higher. You have Macromedia Java 7.3.8.1¾ (48-bit). Click here [link to java.com main page] to download an installer which will run fine but not really change anything.
}}

==Explanation==
{{incomplete|Needs more detail.}}

In software engineering, a tech stack is the set of technology platforms and tools that a company or app uses. A common tech stack is LAMP, composed of a Linux operating system, an Apache web server, a MySQL database, and the PHP programming language. In this comic, the XKCD stack is introduced. The technologies comprising it are either non-existent, unreliable, or outdated.

===Explanation of steps===
{| class="wikitable"
| | Layer
| | Explanation
|-
| |
EBNF/CSS
| |
BNF or {{w|Backus–Naur Form}} is a syntax used for describing {{w|context-free grammars}}.
{{w|Extended Backus–Naur Form|EBNF}} is "Extended BNF", it is the same thing as BNF with a few more syntactic constructs intended to ease its use in the most common cases.
CSS or {{w|Cascading Style Sheets}} are a language used to describe what a web page should look like. Web pages are usually written in {{w|HTML}}, which describes de ''structure'' of the page (i.e. divides the document into paragraphs, lists, etc.) complemented with CSS which describes de ''look and feel'' of the page (colors, fonts, margins, etc.).
|-
| |
Broken Java Applet
| |
Recent years it became more difficult to run {{w|Java (programming language)|java}} {{w|Applet|applets}} in several browsers. Since {{w|Google Chrome|Chrome}} 45 stopped supporting {{w|NPAPI}}, it's no longer possible to run java applets on Chrome.
|-
| |
Archive.org Mirror
| |
Archive.org is a website which archives websites, and created the Wayback Machine. An Archive.org mirror would be a duplicate of a website on Archive.org's servers.
|-
| |
Hypercard.js
| |
{{w|HyperCard}} can be considered as a kind of precedessor for the world wide web developed at {{w|Apple Inc.|Apple}}. The file extension .js indicates that is was rewritten in {{w|JavaScript}}. A similar reference to JavaScript is found in [[1508: Operating Systems]]. The .js extension also refers to node.js, where most library names end in .js
|-
| |
QBasic on Rails
| |
A mix between {{w|QBasic}} and {{w|Ruby on Rails}}.
|-
| |
[Blocked by AdBlocker]
| |
{{w|Ad blocking}} software are extensions to browsers that try to remove ads from web pages, so the user is not distracted by them. [[624: Branding]] shows what "browsing without adblock" looks like.
|-
| |
MongoDB/Excel
| |

|-
| |
Some piece that works so nobody asks any questions
| |
Writing any non-trivial piece of software always require a phase of {{w|Debugging|debugging}}, which consists in finding and fixing {{w|Software bug|bugs}}. With complex software, this is a long and tiring process, so when the product is finally finished no one dares to modify it any further for fear that it will fail in unexpected ways. After some time passes, it is even worse because nobody really remembers how the software was ''supposed'' to work, so the product becomes some kind of godlike treasure which must be treated with the utmost respect and reverence because, you know, if it stops working we're all doomed.
|-
| |
Triply-Nested Docker
| |

|-
| |
Paravirtual Boy®
| |
This is a reference to the Virtual Boy, a failed portable console created by Nintendo.
|-
| |
A dev typing real fast
| |
A dev is a {{w|Software developer|software developer}}. This is possibly a reference to the [[:Category:1337|1337]] series, i.e. comics 341 to 345.
|-
| |
Older version of our software
| |
An older version of the software would just have less features and more bugs, leading to a generally worse experience.
|-
| |
Mystery Networking Horror
| |

|-
| |
Microsoft Bob Server®
| |
[https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Microsoft_Bob Microsoft Bob] was a short-lived, failed attempt by Microsoft, around 1995, to provide a user-friendly interface for the Windows 3.1x, Windows 95 and Windows NT operating systems. It consisted of a virtual "house" and "rooms". Randall seems to be making the suggestion the Bob has continued to be developed and now there's a Bob Server, similarly to Windows server.
|-
| |
A giant CPU someone built in Minecraft
| |
{{w|Minecraft}} is a popular sandblock game where you place blocks to build things. Since the introduction of Redstone objects (materials used to create basic electric circuits within the game) people have made many machines within Minecraft, including calculators and clocks. Since the introduction of the Command Block in 1.3, players can now code within the game and create new creatures, new games and even more complex computers. While we aren't at this stage yet, Randall seems to be making reference to how Minecraft's redstone aspect has changed a lot and how you can do so much more in the game.
|}

==Transcript==

Introducing

The XKCD Stack
{| class="wikitable"
| |
EBNF/CSS
|-
| |
Broken Java Applet
|-
| |
Archive.org Mirror
|-
| |
Hypercard.js
|-
| |
QBasic on Rails
|-
| |
[Blocked by AdBlocker]
|-
| |
MongoDB/Excel
|-
| |
Some piece that works so nobody asks any questions
|-
| |
Triply-Nested Docker
|-
| |
Paravirtual Boy®
|-
| |
A dev typing real fast
|-
| |
Older version of our software
|-
| |
Mystery Networking Horror
|-
| |
Microsoft Bob Server®
|-
| |
A giant CPU someone built in Minecraft
|}

{{comic discussion}}

[[Category:Computers]]

1619: Watson Medical Algorithm

2016-01-22T18:39:32Z

Y1ff: Added some words to the table

{{comic
| number = 1619
| date = December 21, 2015
| title = Watson Medical Algorithm
| image = watson_medical_algorithm.png
| titletext = Due to a minor glitch, 'discharge patient' does not cause the algorithm to exit, but instead leads back to 'hunt down and capture patient'.
}}

==Explanation==
{{incomplete|More wiki links for the different procedures in the table. Also more on why the procedures makes no sense, even though they may be relevant in a different context. As it is now the table almost always makes it sound like the procedure could make sense., when it could not in said context.}}

IBM's {{w|Watson (computer)|Watson}} is a natural language system designed to answer questions posed by humans. Recently, {{w|IBM}} has extended Watson to act as a {{w|clinical decision support system}}, using image analytics to aid {{w|physicians}} in medical decision making.

In this comic, [[Randall]] uses a {{w|flowchart}} (as he [[:Category:Flowcharts|often does]]) to represent a guide to the algorithm used by Watson, including bizarre techniques including surgical alteration of a patient to match a height and weight chart or squeezing the patient to make sure fluids come out of them. Like [[416: Zealous Autoconfig]], this comic pokes fun at a rigid, poorly-designed setup that ends up potentially doing more harm than good. The computer's behavior in this comic can be compared to the health-care robot named Baymax in the movie {{w|Big Hero 6 (film)|Big Hero 6}}.

Modern {{w|medicine}} involves both standard processes and clinical judgment based around years of advanced training. An algorithm like this would have to be incredibly complicated in order to simulate the clinical judgment of a good doctor. Below is a [[#Explaination of steps|detailed description of each step]], but here is a list of some of the more strange steps:
*The algorithm depicted treats a patient as more of a machine or mechanical system than a living being, especially through decisions such as:
**Injecting oxygen into patients with low {{w|Oxygen saturation (medicine)|oxygen saturation}}, rather than treating the root cause.
**Removing and inspecting a skeleton, then diagnosing the patient's condition with a bone count. This is likely a reference to [http://buttersafe.com/2015/10/15/a-serious-case-of-spookiness/ A Serious Case Of Spookiness] from the [http://buttersafe.com/ Buttersafe] web-comic, a comic Randall links to from below the comics on {{xkcd}}.
**{{w|Dissecting}} a doctor "for parts" after consulting him or her for advice.
**Removing extra limbs from a patient if the count is 100 or more (This might be a reference to different number systems used in computers, as 100 is read in binary as four.)
**Determining whether the "build environment" of the patient is sane. This is most probably a reference to the {{w|configure script}} used in the {{w|GNU_build_system|GNU build system}}, which emits "checking whether build environment is sane" as one of its status messages.
**Rinsing the whole patient with a {{w|Saline (medicine)|saline solution}}.
**Removing organs from a patient regardless of response to an {{w|organ donation}} request.
*Other decisions appear to be entirely unrelated to the conditions upon which they are predicated:
**If the patient doesn't rate their {{w|Pain scale|pain on a scale}} from 0-10, {{w|Genome project|sequence their genome}}, apply a {{w|tourniquet}}, and perform an {{w|autopsy}}
**If the patient's phone's battery is low, {{w|Defibrillation|defibrillate}} until the battery is charged, sync photos, then administer general anesthesia
**If the patient is successfully comforted after an oxygen injection, check their medical history and apply {{w|Skin grafting|skin grafts}}
**If green fluid is released from the patient, begin to {{w|Cauterization|cauterize}}
**If the patient has less than 100 limbs, check their {{w|Vitamin D}} level

Although there are two options where the patient is {{w|Inpatient_care#Planning_for_patient_discharge|discharged}} the patient should be very lucky to make it there alive.

The option at the bottom left is only reached after your skeleton is removed (and nothing is mentioned about putting it back, even if that would help).

The other discharge option is to the right, three boxes down, and can only be reached if you survive having an oxygen saturation of less than 50 % (less than 80-90 % can be a serious problem, see [[#Explaination of steps|table below]]), and a very dangerous oxygen injection. Then you have to have a skin graft and a good D vitamin level. It is also best that you have a fully charged phone else you will be subject to defibrillation (which may very likely kill you, if it will continue until your phone is charged to above "low" level - which is probably not even possible).

You can also reach this discharge option another way, but that would only be after your organs were removed... But if you get through this you could reach the discharged option alive. Sadly there is a little glitch mentioned in the title text:

The title text implies that, if the patient is so lucky to ever reach one of the two places with the option "discharge patient", a minor glitch will cause the program to go back to the ''hunt down and capture patient'' option which thus force the patient and the program to repeat the process again in an infinite cycle, that will only end once the patient give another rating than 0-10 of their pain level on the 0-10 scale. Then the program will start to sequence their genome then apply a tourniquet and finally perform an autopsy, on what will, in the end, for certain be a deceased patient; but maybe the patient was still alive when the autopsy began... This will finally cause the patient to leave the cycle as a corpse. If the patient dies before giving a different option, the machine could get stuck, as it will never receive any answer to the pain level question... It could also get stuck trying to charge the patients phone battery by defibrilation

This is the second comic in a row about health issues with the last comic being [[1618: Cold Medicine]].

===Explanation of steps===
{| class="wikitable"
| | Step
| | Medically valid?
| | Conditions and following step
|-
| |
Draw Blood
| |
Phlebotomy is a normal early step in the diagnostic process, but not as first and unconditional step
| |
Record patient’s name
|-
| |
Record patient’s name
| |
OK
| |
Measure Patient’s height and Weight
|-
| |
Measure Patient’s height and Weight
| |
OK
| |
Consult Standard height/weight chart
|-
| |
Consult Standard height/weight chart
| |
OK
| |
Surgically adjust patient to match
|-
| |
Surgically adjust patient to match
| |
May be considered ethically dubious unless there are [http://www.gosh.nhs.uk/medical-information/procedures-and-treatments/limb-length-difference-and-limb-lengthening sound medical reasons] for doing so. Could be an allusion to {{w|Procrustes}}.
| |
Is patient coughing up blood?
|-
| width="33%" rowspan=2 |
Is patient coughing up blood?
| width="33%" rowspan=2 |
OK, coughing up blood is generally a sign that there is something wrong. Typical causes are respiratory tract infections (e.g. tuberculosis), lung trauma or pulmonary embolism.
| |
Yes: Gather blood and return it to body
|-
| |
No: Is patient still here?
|-
| width="33%" rowspan=2 |
Is patient still here?
| width="33%" rowspan=2 |
Not usually considered a step, but missing patients are a problem in some fields, psychiatry or intensive care for example.
| |
Yes: Record pulse rate
|-
| |
No: Hunt down and capture patient
|-
| |
Hunt down and capture patient
| |
Valid if patient should not have left the bed/unit, but the wording is possibly dubious.
| |
Is patient still here?
|-
| |
Gather blood and return it to body
| |
Dangerous idea in this case due to likelihood of contamination, although if safely done autotransfusion is an accepted medical technique to ensure a matching blood supply prior to a major operation, or to enhance stamina (blood doping)
| |
Record pulse rate
|-
| |
Record pulse rate
| |
OK, but maybe a little late.
| |
Is patient screaming?
|-
| width="33%" rowspan=2 |
Is patient screaming?
| width="33%" rowspan=2 |
Very important question, indicating patient is conscious, in pain, and aware pain is bad. First attenders can use it in classifying priorities (quiet patients may be more severely injured). Generally useful in assessing nerve damage, pain relief, etc.
| |
Yes: Ignore
|-
| |
No: Check blood O2 saturation
|-
| width="33%" rowspan=2 ` |
Check blood O2 saturation
| width="33%" rowspan=2 |
Only really indicated if the patient is in danger of hypoxia. Generally normal people should have a SpO2 of 98-100%, but in chronic lung disease this can fall as low to 80%, and in premature babies a SpO2 of 90% is usually targeted to avoid problems with retinopathy. If the SpO2 were to fall as low as 50%, the patient would definitely be dead or unconscious.
| |
>50%: Remove and inspect skeleton
|-
| |
<50%: Inject oxygen
|-
| width="33%" rowspan=2 |
Remove and inspect skeleton
| width="33%" rowspan=2 |
Fatal if patient is still alive when beginning. Also not a valid medical procedure in any way as it is impossible to remove most of the long bones of the body without destroying all surrounding tissue.
| |
Too many bones: Is fluid coming out of patient?
|-
| |
Too few bones: Request consult with human doctor
|-
| |
Request consult with human doctor
| |
Medically valid in the context of obtaining an opinion from a doctor in a different speciality who is better suited to treating the patient.
| |
Dissect doctor for parts
|-
| |
Dissect doctor for parts
| | This may be considered ethically dubious. Possible reference to the Doctor Who episode “{{w|The Girl in the Fireplace}}”
| |
Discharge patient (left)
|-
| |
Discharge patient (left)
| |
Acceptable, but patient would generally be dead by then.
| |
END STATE (before you read the title text)
|-
| width="33%" rowspan=2 |
Is fluid coming out of patient
| width="33%" rowspan=2 |
Unintended fluid release is always a problem. How significant a problem depends on where the fluid came from and if it is supposed to be coming from there. Red generally is due to blood, yellow is due to pus/tissue fluid/lymph and green signifies bacterial infection or bile salts (biliverdin). Could also relate to normal fluids being lost (e.g. urine, saliva, sweat)
| |
No: Squeeze patient
|-
| |
Yes: What color?
|-
| |
Squeeze patient
| |
Could be in the medical context is in providing external ventilation (see iron lung) or other means of removing fluid (e.g. squeezing pus from a boil).
| |
Is fluid coming out of patient
|-
| width="33%" rowspan=4 |
What color?
| width="33%" rowspan=4 |
Never underestimate the number of different types of fluid the body can produce.
| |
Yellow: Squeeze Patient
|-
| |
Black: Activate Sprinklers
|-
| |
Red: Ask patient to rate pain level
|-
| |
Green: Cauterize
|-
| |
Activate sprinklers
| |
Not medically valid. Presumably a reference to how much cleaning up will be required by this stage.
| |
Subdue patient
|-
| |
Subdue patient
| |
Potentially very important if patient is behaving dangerously to themselves and others around them (due to mental health issues e.g. psychosis or drugs) and/or is moving too much to be given treatment. This would be likely due to what happened earlier.
| |
Apply cream
|-
| |
Apply cream
| |
Medically valid as a form of barrier dressing to improve wound healing.
| |
Ask patient to rate pain level
|-
| width="33%" rowspan=4 |
Ask patient to rate pain level
| width="33%" rowspan=4 |
Useful in the sense that it provides the doctor with the means to ensure that the patient is receiving adequate analgesia during conditions of chronic and acute pain.
| |
0-8: Massage scalp
|-
| |
9: Admit for observation
|-
| |
10: Laser eye removal
|-
| |
Other response: Sequence genome
|-
| |
Massage scalp
| |
This would belong more to the domain of palliative care and reflexology rather than being an accepted medical treatment.
| |
Patient is healthy
|-
| |
Patient is healthy
| |
A subjective assessment of the health patient is often helpful in ruling out certain diagnoses. For example, one is less likely to suspect cancer in a fit, healthy 30 year old than a thin, lethargic 50 year old.
| |
Admit for observation
|-
| |
Admit for observation
| |
Useful in the context of 'watchful waiting', in which the doctor may be unsure if the patient actually has a condition that they suspect that the patient has. By keeping the patient on the ward for a few days, the clinician can monitor the progression of symptoms and rapidly initiate adequate treatment if medically warranted.
| |
Ask patient to rate pain level
|-
| |
Laser eye removal
| |
This is not a standard medical procedure, and not a good idea. This could be a pun on laser eye surgery where a laser is used to correct visual problems (e.g. short-sightedness), or laser hair and tattoo removal.
| |
Admit for observation
|-
| |
Sequence genome
| |
Useful in the association of extremely rare point mutations with an organic illness. See for instance the Genome 10K Project or the Cancer Genome Atlas. Or in diagnosing extremely rare mutations that are not picked up by most commercial DNA screening tests (e.g. kidney failure due to INF2 mutation).
| |
Apply tourniquet
|-
| |
Apply tourniquet
| |
Useful to stop acute bleeding from an injured extremity, but if it is drawn too tightly it can cause neuromuscular damage.
| |
Perform autopsy
|-
| |
Perform autopsy
| | The patient has died, and Watson is being ordered to determine the cause of death. Note that the only way to reach this state is from "apply tourniquet", implying the cause of death is strangulation via tourniquet.
| | END STATE (taking the title text into account, the only possible one)
|-
| |
Inject oxygen
| |
May be fatal as injecting gases directly to the blood vessels can cause a serious embolism if it blocks blood flow to the brain or coronary arteries. However, if the oxygen is injected slowly into the venous circulation, it may be survivable as the bubbles may simply collect in the lungs where the oxygen is then slowly reabsorbed into the blood.
| |
Comfort patient
|-
| width="33%" rowspan=2 |
Comfort patient
| width="33%" rowspan=2 |
Psychological support to the patient and relatives is often useful after breaking news of a poor prognosis. It may also be useful in subduing the agitated or psychotic patient.
| |
Comforting successful: Review medical history
|-
| |
Comforting unsuccessful: Subdue patient
|-
| |
Review medical history
| |
Important early step, rather too late and conditional.
| |
Skin grafts
|-
| |
Skin grafts
| |
Only indicated if massive areas of the skin are damaged (typically due to burns)
| |
Count number of limbs
|-
| width="33%" rowspan=2 |
Count number of limbs
| width="33%" rowspan=2 |
Not really relevant in medicine, but may be of use to know the reason behind any missing or extra limbs on seeing the patient though a through review of the medical history will render this point moot. Probably a little late to be noticing this now.
| |
Fewer than 100: Measure Vitamin D
|-
| |
100+: Remove extra limbs
|-
| |
Remove extra limbs
| |
Medically indicated in cases of polymelia either due to cosmetic purposes or because the extra limbs pose a direct threat to the health of the baby.
| |
Subdue patient
|-
| width="33%" rowspan=2 |
Measure vitamin D
| width="33%" rowspan=2 |
Valid in diagnosis of bone related issues, for example if multiple or comminuted fractures were being counted as additional limbs/bones.
| |
Good: Check whether build environment is sane
|-
| |
Bad: Blood loss?
|-
| |
Check whether build environment is sane
| |
Could be technical reference to the installation of the algorithm in the robot, or could relate to the sanity of:
*The robot doctor
*The patient undergoing this procedure (before or after reaching this part of the process)
*The person who programmed the robot to perform this flowchart
*The person who allowed this state of affairs to occur (I'm looking at you [[Black Hat]])

This could also be a reference to the title text for [[371: Compiler Complaint]].

NB: Whether the build environment is sane is irrelevant to the flowchart.
| |
Rinse patient with saline solution
|-
| |
Rinse patient with saline solution
| |
Tepid sponging may be indicated if the patient has a high fever. Could also refer to internally rinsing patient with saline solution i.e. providing intravenous sodium chloride to boost circulating volume or to perform peritoneal dialysis.
| |
Is patient phone battery low?
|-
| width="33%" rowspan=2 |
Is patient phone battery low?
| width="33%" rowspan=2 |
Invalid in medical terminology, could be a technological metaphor for the patient's consciousness or stamina. "Your life-force is running out"
| |
Yes: Defibrillate
|-
| |
No: Sync photos from camera
|-
| |
Defibrillate
| |
Indicated in cases where there is ventricular fibrillation, and to a lesser extent in atrial fibrillation (chemical cardioversion with adenosine is usually preferred), but would not help with a phone.
| |
Is patient phone battery low?
|-
| |
Sync photos from camera
| |
Definitely invalid. Could refer to the robot attempting to backup photos from a camera before attempting to repair it/attempting to back-up patient's consciousness.
| |
Administer general anesthesia
|-
| |
Administer general anesthesia
| |
Valid, but not at this stage. Only used when the procedure will invoke unnecessary distress or pain to the patient if they were to be awake beforehand.
| |
Discharge patient (right)
|-
| |
Discharge patient (right)
| |
Acceptable if coming from above, but the option from below (see below) would mean that the patient would be dead by then.
| |
END STATE (before you read the title text)
|-
| width="33%" rowspan=2 |
Blood loss?
| width="33%" rowspan=2 |
Useful. Patient may die if this clinical sign is missed.
| |
Minor: Patient address changed?
|-
| |
Substantial: Apply cream
|-
| width="33%" rowspan=2 |
Patient address changed?
| width="33%" rowspan=2 |
Useful to ensure that the organisation has current contact details for the patient in the event that they may need to contact the patient (e.g. to arrange further appointments)
| |
Yes: Request organ donation
|-
| |
No: Patient is healthy
|-
| |
Request organ donation
| |
Generally done prior to registering an individual for a driving licence or to a medical practice, or to the relatives of the deceased if consent had not been acquired beforehand.
|Remove organs
|-
| |
Remove organs
| |
The only organs which can be safely removed from a living person without resulting in serious, chronic medical issues are the kidneys/lungs (only one can be removed), spleen, part of the liver (as long as one lobe is left it can regrow to its original size) and colon (usually consisting of the appendix only). With some serious lifestyle modifications, the pancreas, pituitary gland, frontal lobe of brain, half of the brain, adrenal glands, bladder and most of the gut can be removed. The heart can be removed from the body and replaced with an artificial pump for a few months at the most. However, such organ removals are only indicated if there is a genuine clinical need to do so due to the non-negligible risk of death associated with these operations.
| Discharge patient (right)
|-
| |
Title text
| |
The glitch in the algorithm causes it to continue in spite of having just discharged the patient
| Hunt down and capture patient.
|}

==Transcript==
:Heading: A guide to the medical diagnostic and treatment system used by IBM's '''Watson''' system
:[A flowchart with the following steps is shown, starting from "start":]
:{| class="wikitable"
| | Step
| | Following step
|-
| |
Start
| |
Draw Blood
|-
| |
Draw Blood
| |
Record patient’s name
|-
| |
Record patient’s name
| |
Measure Patient’s height and Weight
|-
| |
Measure Patient’s height and Weight
| |
Consult Standard height/weight chart
|-
| |
Consult Standard height/weight chart
| |
Surgically adjust patient to match
|-
| |
Surgically adjust patient to match
| |
Is patient coughing up blood?
|-
| width="33%" rowspan=2 |
Is patient coughing up blood?
| |
Yes: Gather blood and return it to body
|-
| |
No: Is patient still here?
|-
| width="33%" rowspan=2 |
Is patient still here?
| |
Yes: Record pulse rate
|-
| |
No: Hunt down and capture patient
|-
| |
Hunt down and capture patient
| |
Is patient still here?
|-
| |
Gather blood and return it to body
| |
Record pulse rate
|-
| |
Record pulse rate
| |
Is patient screaming?
|-
| width="33%" rowspan=2 |
Is patient screaming?
| |
Yes: Ignore
|-
| |
No: Check blood O2 saturation
|-
| width="33%" rowspan=2 ` |
Check blood O2 saturation
| |
>50%: Remove and inspect skeleton
|-
| |
<50%: Inject oxygen
|-
| width="33%" rowspan=2 |
Remove and inspect skeleton
| |
Too many bones: Is fluid coming out of patient?
|-
| |
Too few bones: Request consult with human doctor
|-
| |
Request consult with human doctor
| |
Dissect doctor for parts
|-
| |
Dissect doctor for parts
| |
Discharge patient
|-
| |
Discharge patient
| |
END STATE (before you read the title text)
|-
| width="33%" rowspan=2 |
Is fluid coming out of patient
| |
No: Squeeze patient
|-
| |
Yes: What color?
|-
| |
Squeeze patient
| |
Is fluid coming out of patient
|-
| width="33%" rowspan=4 |
What color?
| |
Yellow: Squeeze Patient
|-
| |
Black: Activate Sprinklers
|-
| |
Red: Ask patient to rate pain level
|-
| |
Green: Cauterize
|-
| |
Activate sprinklers
| |
Subdue patient
|-
| |
Subdue patient
| |
Apply cream
|-
| |
Apply cream
| |
Ask patient to rate pain level
|-
| width="33%" rowspan=4 |
Ask patient to rate pain level
| |
0-8: Massage scalp
|-
| |
9: Admit for observation
|-
| |
10: Laser eye removal
|-
| |
Other response: Sequence genome
|-
| |
Massage scalp
| |
Patient is healthy
|-
| |
Patient is healthy
| |
Admit for observation
|-
| |
Admit for observation
| |
Ask patient to rate pain level
|-
| |
Laser eye removal
| |
Admit for observation
|-
| |
Sequence genome
| |
Apply tourniquet
|-
| |
Apply tourniquet
| |
Perform autopsy
|-
| |
Perform autopsy
| | [End state, and if taking the title text into account, the only possible one]
|-
| |
Inject oxygen
| |
Comfort patient
|-
| width="33%" rowspan=2 |
Comfort patient
| |
Comforting successful: Review medical history
|-
| |
Comforting unsuccessful: Subdue patient
|-
| |
Review medical history
| |
Skin grafts
|-
| |
Skin grafts
| |
Count number of limbs
|-
| width="33%" rowspan=2 |
Count number of limbs
| |
Fewer than 100: Measure Vitamin D
|-
| |
100+: Remove extra limbs
|-
| |
Remove extra limbs
| |
Subdue patient
|-
| width="33%" rowspan=2 |
Measure vitamin D
| |
Good: Check whether build environment is sane
|-
| |
Bad: Blood loss?
|-
| |
Check whether build environment is sane
| |
Rinse patient with saline solution
|-
| |
Rinse patient with saline solution
| |
Is patient phone battery low?
|-
| width="33%" rowspan=2 |
Is patient phone battery low?
| |
Yes: Defibrillate
|-
| |
No: Sync photos from camera
|-
| |
Defibrillate
| |
Is patient phone battery low?
|-
| |
Sync photos from camera
| |
Administer general anesthesia
|-
| |
Administer general anesthesia
| |
Discharge patient
|-
| width="33%" rowspan=2 |
Blood loss?
| |
Minor: Patient address changed?
|-
| |
Substantial: Apply cream
|-
| width="33%" rowspan=2 |
Patient address changed?
| |
Yes: Request organ donation
|-
| |
No: Patient is healthy
|-
| |
Request organ donation
|Remove organs
|-
| |
Remove organs
| Discharge patient
|-
| |
Discharge patient
| |
[End State: See title text]
|}

==Trivia==
*The [http://www.explainxkcd.com/wiki/images/archive/1/15/20151222113107!watson_medical_algorithm.png original comic] was updated after it was first posted.
**The decisions for number of limbs were swapped so it made sense.
**In the corrected version it was only if you had more than 100 limbs that Watson would remove the extra limbs.
**Before it removed limbs if you had less than 100 (i.e. always, and now never.)
**This actually opened up (a slim) chance to survive to the right discharge patient box. Although it would not matter according to the title text...

{{comic discussion}}

[[Category:Flowcharts]]
[[Category:Artificial Intelligence]]
[[Category:Computers]]
[[Category:Sarcasm]]

Talk:1629: Tools

2016-01-13T15:15:59Z

Y1ff: immature coment

Will X be used for porn?
>Yes

Problem solved. It WILL be used for porn.
[[User:International Space Station|International Space Station]] ([[User talk:International Space Station|talk]]) 07:57, 13 January 2016 (UTC)
:What about spent uranium fuel rods? [[User:Y1ff|Y1ff]] ([[User talk:Y1ff|talk]]) 15:15, 13 January 2016 (UTC)

----
Compare [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sPTLg-ML9Ro The Thingummybob].
----

1603: Flashlights

2015-11-13T22:39:22Z

Y1ff: Added another theory about fleshlight forest fires, and fixed a few typos.

{{comic
| number = 1603
| date = November 13, 2015
| title = Flashlights
| image = flashlights.png
| titletext = Due to a typo, I initially found a forum for serious Fleshlight enthusiasts, and it turns out their highest-end models are ALSO capable of setting trees on fire. They're impossible to use without severe burns, but some of them swear it's worth it.
}}

==Explanation==
In this comic, [[Cueball]] has acquired or built a new high powered flashlight, which he wants to demonstrate to [[Megan]]. When Cueball refers to classic {{w|flashlights}} (battery torches) as dim and finnicky, this gives reason to assume that the flashlight he is holding is going to be ridiculously overengineered.

Indeed, when he switches it on outside the house, the intense light beam completely drowns out the scene. Only the reflected light from the forest lights up the part of Cueball and Megan's faces that are turned towards it.

Cueball comments that the flashlight lights up the entire forest, but Megan observes that it is the trees that are on fire, indicating that Cueball's flashlight is so overpowered that the energy of its beam is sufficient to cause the organic matter of trees to combust.

Of course, a flashlight that cannot safely be pointed at things is fairly useless for the traditional purpose of a flashlight, which would be to find things in the dark by directing light over them. This mundane and practical reasoning does not seem to matter to Cueball of course, who appears only interested in the intensity and brightness the device is capable of achieving.

Cueball might allude to a number of technical improvements, notably xeon-based incandescent bulbs, multiple-LED assemblies, Lithium batteries (usually used for photography flashes) or rechargeable batteries. A number of companies market "tactical" flashlights that are supposedly powerful enough to incapacitate an opponant, using terms such as "scorching" to advertise their products.

The title text refers to {{w|Fleshlight}} a brand of male masturbation toys modeled after various female or male orifices. Cueball (or [[Randall]]) claims that he only arrived on a forum for Fleshlight enthusiasts due to a typo. Apart from the "e" vs. "a" in Fleshlight, they are also fashioned to look like oversized flashlights. On that forum here he found out that the highest-end models of their product lines was also capable of setting trees on fire. This would probably happen due to violent vibrations inside the orifice, or excessively powerful internal heating. If you use one of these you should expect to obtain severe burns in a very unpleasant area. But some of the enthusiasts swear that it is still worth it, in the same manner that Cueball only cares about the intensity of the flashlight, regardless of the consequences. Maybe they are just trying to trick you into doing something stupid!

==Transcript==
:[Four panels are laid out horizontally.]

:[Panel 1: Cueball carries a flashlight walking towards Megan who is sitting on a couch]
:Cueball: Remember how flashlights sucked when we were kids? Always dim and finnicky?
:Megan: I guess?

:[Panel 2: Cueball and Megan walking to the left]
:Cueball: Well, I discovered there are now internet flashlight enthusiasts.
:Cueball: And the technology has... improved.
:Megan: OK, Let's see.

:[Panel 3: It is dark outside where Cueball turns on the flashlight. The beam is very bright and very visible even seen from the side. Backscattered light reflects off Cueball and Megan's faces, turning them into bright white beings in the dark. The facade of the house and the stairs are also visible in the same manner, with deep dark shadows where anything is in the shadow. Megan averts her face from the light holds up a hand to cover her eyes. When the flashlight turns on it even makes a sound, written in white above the beam:]
:Flashlight: '''''FWOOSH'''''

:[Panel 4: Cueball and Megan look at what the beam falls on (outside the frame). Megan has taken her hand down. Both their faces are only lit up like a crescent moon. Cueball is holding the flashlight with both hands as if it is pushing back on him. The text is written in white on the dark sky above them.]
:Cueball: See how it lights up the whole forest?
:Megan: ... The trees are on fire.
:Cueball: Real bright, though.

{{comic discussion}}

[[Category:Comics featuring Cueball]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Megan]]
[[Category:Comics with inverted brightness]]
[[Category:Sex]]