3138: Dimensional Lumber Tape Measure - Revision history

2.50.0.22: /* Explanation */

2025-09-18T09:14:11Z

‎Explanation

Promethean: /* Explanation */

2025-09-15T00:07:39Z

‎Explanation

Promethean: Explain why shrink ruler is the opposite

2025-09-15T00:04:38Z

Explain why shrink ruler is the opposite

216.9.105.210: /* Explanation */

2025-09-09T17:26:52Z

‎Explanation

216.9.105.210: /* Explanation */

2025-09-09T17:23:54Z

‎Explanation

82.132.238.27: /* Explanation */

2025-09-09T12:09:39Z

‎Explanation

Scs: /* Explanation */ mention shrink rulers

2025-09-09T10:43:43Z

‎Explanation: mention shrink rulers

82.132.238.63: /* Transcript */ Really needs the "//” and "\\" Randall-style quotemarks (perhaps neutral-" with forward/back italic-style?) if not antithetical to Transcript, not "66"/"99" smartquotes. But applied the more proper double-prime character to inches, etc

2025-09-09T09:48:58Z

‎Transcript: Really needs the "//” and "\\" Randall-style quotemarks (perhaps neutral-" with forward/back italic-style?) if not antithetical to Transcript, not "66"/"99" smartquotes. But applied the more proper double-prime character to inches, etc

82.132.238.63: /* Explanation */ Wikipedia doesn't want smartquotes. (Use ″ or ″ (″) for inches.)

2025-09-09T08:53:34Z

‎Explanation: Wikipedia doesn't want smartquotes. (Use ″ or ″ (″) for inches.)

134.60.67.135: /* Transcript */

2025-09-09T06:29:11Z

‎Transcript

@@ Line 10: / Line 10: @@
 ==Explanation==
-{{incomplete|This page was created by AN ARMY OF TWO INCH BY FOUR INCH LUMBERS THAT SAW FIVE CM BY TEN CM LUMBERS. Don't remove this notice too soon.}}
 A 2×4 is a type of dimensional lumber, meaning it is cut to a specified cross-section. In the case of a 2×4, despite implicitly specifying dimensions of 2 inches by 4 inches, its actual dimensions are 1.5 inches by 3.5 inches. The Dimensional Lumber Tape Measure "fixes" this inaccuracy by changing the length of some of its indicated inches so that a 2×4 is measured as 2 inches by 4 inches.  On the dimensional tape the 1st, 2nd, and 8th division are made shorter than on the standard tape.  Note that the comic states 7.125 inches as the width of a 1×8, when in reality the width is 7.25 inches.

@@ Line 19: / Line 19: @@
 Additionally, leaving it in someone else's toolbox without informing them would likely lead to them incorrectly measuring things, as the Dimensional Lumber Tape Measure appears visually similar to a standard tape measure and has similar enough units that it is plausible someone could use the Dimensional Lumber Tape Measure and assume it indicated full inches.
-Intentionally-inaccurate measuring devices do exist in the real world, but for the opposite reason (converting size *before* shrinkage to size *after* shrinkage rather than vice-versa).  When casting articles out of molten metal or clay, the final product can shrink significantly as it cools or dries.  Workers therefore use a ''{{w|Metal casting#shrink rule|shrink ruler}}'' with deliberately ''over''size units, calibrated to the shrinkage percentage of the particular material in use.  Using a shrink ruler to measure the patterns and molds used in metal casting, or the wet product in pottery, ensures that the final product will be the desired size.
+Intentionally-inaccurate measuring devices do exist in the real world, but for the opposite reason (converting size ''before'' natural shrinkage to size ''after'' shrinkage rather than vice-versa).  When casting articles out of molten metal or clay, the final product can shrink significantly as it cools or dries.  Workers therefore use a ''{{w|Metal casting#shrink rule|shrink ruler}}'' with deliberately ''over''size units, calibrated to the shrinkage percentage of the particular material in use.  Using a shrink ruler to measure the patterns and molds used in metal casting, or the wet product in pottery, ensures that the final product will be the desired size.
 Another common intentionally-accurate measuring device is a joke "fish ruler", such as [https://www.zazzle.com/fishermans_joke_ruler-256090065798791155?srsltid=AfmBOorHYyY2_fJSCZsZ1B7fKjkLbKDEyCfbfI5w-MDe83neA51yT8Uc this example], which like the comic feature undersized units.  Fishermen typically measure the length of their catches, with catching a longer fish being more prestigious.  The joke fish ruler will be marked as if it is 12 inches long like a common ruler, but is only 6 or 8 inches long.  Thus a fisherman could catch a 5 inch fish, but report it as 10 inches after "measuring" it with the joke fish ruler.

@@ Line 19: / Line 19: @@
 Additionally, leaving it in someone else's toolbox without informing them would likely lead to them incorrectly measuring things, as the Dimensional Lumber Tape Measure appears visually similar to a standard tape measure and has similar enough units that it is plausible someone could use the Dimensional Lumber Tape Measure and assume it indicated full inches.
-Intentionally-inaccurate measuring devices do exist in the real world, but for a different reason.  When casting articles out of molten metal or clay, the final product can shrink significantly as it cools or dries.  Workers therefore use a ''{{w|Metal casting#shrink rule|shrink ruler}}'' with deliberately ''over''size units, calibrated to the shrinkage percentage of the particular material in use.  Using a shrink ruler to measure the patterns and molds used in metal casting, or the wet product in pottery, ensures that the final product will be the desired size.
+Intentionally-inaccurate measuring devices do exist in the real world, but for the opposite reason (converting size *before* shrinkage to size *after* shrinkage rather than vice-versa).  When casting articles out of molten metal or clay, the final product can shrink significantly as it cools or dries.  Workers therefore use a ''{{w|Metal casting#shrink rule|shrink ruler}}'' with deliberately ''over''size units, calibrated to the shrinkage percentage of the particular material in use.  Using a shrink ruler to measure the patterns and molds used in metal casting, or the wet product in pottery, ensures that the final product will be the desired size.
 Another common intentionally-accurate measuring device is a joke "fish ruler", such as [https://www.zazzle.com/fishermans_joke_ruler-256090065798791155?srsltid=AfmBOorHYyY2_fJSCZsZ1B7fKjkLbKDEyCfbfI5w-MDe83neA51yT8Uc this example], which like the comic feature undersized units.  Fishermen typically measure the length of their catches, with catching a longer fish being more prestigious.  The joke fish ruler will be marked as if it is 12 inches long like a common ruler, but is only 6 or 8 inches long.  Thus a fisherman could catch a 5 inch fish, but report it as 10 inches after "measuring" it with the joke fish ruler.

@@ Line 21: / Line 21: @@
 Intentionally-inaccurate measuring devices do exist in the real world, but for a different reason.  When casting articles out of molten metal or clay, the final product can shrink significantly as it cools or dries.  Workers therefore use a ''{{w|Metal casting#shrink rule|shrink ruler}}'' with deliberately ''over''size units, calibrated to the shrinkage percentage of the particular material in use.  Using a shrink ruler to measure the patterns and molds used in metal casting, or the wet product in pottery, ensures that the final product will be the desired size.
-Another common intentionally-accurate measuring device is a joke "fish ruler", such as this example, which like the comic feature undersized units.  Fishermen typically measure the length of their catches, with catching a longer fish being more prestigious.  The joke fish ruler will be marked as if it is 12 inches long like a common ruler, but is only 6 or 8 inches long.  Thus a fisherman could catch a 5 inch fish, but report it as 10 inches after "measuring" it with the joke fish ruler.
+Another common intentionally-accurate measuring device is a joke "fish ruler", such as [https://www.zazzle.com/fishermans_joke_ruler-256090065798791155?srsltid=AfmBOorHYyY2_fJSCZsZ1B7fKjkLbKDEyCfbfI5w-MDe83neA51yT8Uc this example], which like the comic feature undersized units.  Fishermen typically measure the length of their catches, with catching a longer fish being more prestigious.  The joke fish ruler will be marked as if it is 12 inches long like a common ruler, but is only 6 or 8 inches long.  Thus a fisherman could catch a 5 inch fish, but report it as 10 inches after "measuring" it with the joke fish ruler.
 The title text is a play on the adage "A man with two watches is never sure what time it is". That adage is a rephrasing of {{w|Segal's law}}.  It expands on the theme of inaccurate measuring devices by stating the person with two watches will definitely not know what time it is if Randall gave him one of the watches, implying that in addition to making tape measures with non-standard units he also makes watches that do not keep or report time in a regular manner.

@@ Line 21: / Line 21: @@
 Intentionally-inaccurate measuring devices do exist in the real world, but for a different reason.  When casting articles out of molten metal or clay, the final product can shrink significantly as it cools or dries.  Workers therefore use a ''{{w|Metal casting#shrink rule|shrink ruler}}'' with deliberately ''over''size units, calibrated to the shrinkage percentage of the particular material in use.  Using a shrink ruler to measure the patterns and molds used in metal casting, or the wet product in pottery, ensures that the final product will be the desired size.
-The title text is a play on the adage "A man with two watches is never sure what time it is". That adage is a rephrasing of {{w|Segal's law}}.
+Another common intentionally-accurate measuring device is a joke "fish ruler", such as this example, which like the comic feature undersized units.  Fishermen typically measure the length of their catches, with catching a longer fish being more prestigious.  The joke fish ruler will be marked as if it is 12 inches long like a common ruler, but is only 6 or 8 inches long.  Thus a fisherman could catch a 5 inch fish, but report it as 10 inches after "measuring" it with the joke fish ruler.
 ==Transcript==

← Older revision		Revision as of 10:43, 9 September 2025
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	Additionally, leaving it in someone else's toolbox without informing them would likely lead to them incorrectly measuring things, as the Dimensional Lumber Tape Measure appears visually similar to a standard tape measure and has similar enough units that it is plausible someone could use the Dimensional Lumber Tape Measure and assume it indicated full inches.		Additionally, leaving it in someone else's toolbox without informing them would likely lead to them incorrectly measuring things, as the Dimensional Lumber Tape Measure appears visually similar to a standard tape measure and has similar enough units that it is plausible someone could use the Dimensional Lumber Tape Measure and assume it indicated full inches.
		+
		+	Intentionally-inaccurate measuring devices do exist in the real world, but for a different reason. When casting articles out of molten metal or clay, the final product can shrink significantly as it cools or dries. Workers therefore use a ''[https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Metal_casting#shrink_rule shrink ruler]'' with deliberately oversize units, calibrated to the shrinkage percentage of the particular material in use. Using a shrink ruler to measure the patterns and molds used in metal casting, or the wet product in pottery, ensures that the final product will be the desired size.

	The title text is a play on the adage "A man with two watches is never sure what time it is". That adage is a rephrasing of {{w\|Segal's law}}.		The title text is a play on the adage "A man with two watches is never sure what time it is". That adage is a rephrasing of {{w\|Segal's law}}.

@@ Line 22: / Line 22: @@
 ==Transcript==
-{{incomplete transcript|So far, only the raw text was added. Needs description of the pictures and layout.}}
+:[Header:] Dimensional Lumber Tape Measure
-===Dimensional Lumber Tape Measure===
+:[Paragraph to the left:] Dimensional lumber sizes are tricky. A “2×4” is actually 1½&Prime; by 3½&Prime;, and a “1×8” is ¾&Prime; by 7⅛&Prime;.
-Dimensional lumber sizes are tricky. A “2×4” is actually 1½″ by 3½″, and a “1×8” is ¾″ by 7⅛″.
+:[To the left, two drawings of tape measures seen from the side. One is labeled <code>12&prime;</code>, and the other is labeled <code>12&prime;*</code>]
-(A drawing of a rectangular wooden block labelled “2×4”, with notes indicating the length of the sides being 1½″ and 3½″.)
+:[Two drawings viewing the extended tapes, with titles, one above the other; The double-riveted 'hook end' fitting is at tape's left-hand 'zero' mark, and they extend off beyond the right edge of the panel featuring digits marking full height "inch" division-lines, with decreasingly partial-height lines indicating half-, quarter-, eighth- and sixteenth-inch sub-divisions from the lower edge, though either measure explicitly indicates the unit being used]
-If you know someone into carpentry or woodworking, get them our ''dimensional lumber tape measure''.
+:[Slightly bold:]'''Don’t tell them you got it'''[Normal weighting:]—just leave it in their toolbox. They’ll appreciate the surprise when all their measurements work out!

@@ Line 11: / Line 11: @@
 ==Explanation==
 {{incomplete|This page was created by AN ARMY OF TWO INCH BY FOUR INCH LUMBERS THAT SAW FIVE CM BY TEN CM LUMBERS. Don't remove this notice too soon.}}
-A 2×4 is a type of dimensional lumber, meaning it is cut to a specified cross-section. In the case of a 2×4, despite implicitly specifying dimensions of 2 inches by 4 inches, its actual dimensions are 1.5 inches by 3.5 inches. The Dimensional Lumber Tape Measure “fixes” this inaccuracy by changing the length of some of its indicated inches so that a 2×4 is measured as 2 inches by 4 inches.  On the dimensional tape the 1st, 2nd, and 8th division are made shorter than on the standard tape.  Note that the comic states 7.125 inches as the width of a 1×8, when in reality the width is 7.25 inches.
+A 2×4 is a type of dimensional lumber, meaning it is cut to a specified cross-section. In the case of a 2×4, despite implicitly specifying dimensions of 2 inches by 4 inches, its actual dimensions are 1.5 inches by 3.5 inches. The Dimensional Lumber Tape Measure "fixes" this inaccuracy by changing the length of some of its indicated inches so that a 2×4 is measured as 2 inches by 4 inches.  On the dimensional tape the 1st, 2nd, and 8th division are made shorter than on the standard tape.  Note that the comic states 7.125 inches as the width of a 1×8, when in reality the width is 7.25 inches.
-As explained {{w|Lumber#Dimensional lumber|on Wikipedia}}, the nominal dimensions of a piece of dimensional lumber (US)/timber (UK) are those to which, in history, the wood was cut from green logs. Over time, the wood would shrink from loss of water. Consequently, a board cut to 2×4 inches would shrink to some fraction of those dimensions. The nominal dimensions also refer to the rough cut lumber—the final product is typically planed smooth, which further reduces its dimensions. The actual final dimensions would vary based on the type of wood, the amount of water lost and other such factors, with a greater or lesser amount of predictability. Over time, the actual dimensions of the wood became standardized at some regularly-achievable value less than the nominal dimensions.  Different types of construction material sometimes use different measures, for instance, “1 inch” plywood is typically not 1 inch thick, but it is also not 3/4 inches thick (the thickness of a 1-inch board).
+As explained {{w|Lumber#Dimensional lumber|on Wikipedia}}, the nominal dimensions of a piece of dimensional lumber (US)/timber (UK) are those to which, in history, the wood was cut from green logs. Over time, the wood would shrink from loss of water. Consequently, a board cut to 2×4 inches would shrink to some fraction of those dimensions. The nominal dimensions also refer to the rough cut lumber—the final product is typically planed smooth, which further reduces its dimensions. The actual final dimensions would vary based on the type of wood, the amount of water lost and other such factors, with a greater or lesser amount of predictability. Over time, the actual dimensions of the wood became standardized at some regularly-achievable value less than the nominal dimensions.  Different types of construction material sometimes use different measures, for instance, "1 inch" plywood is typically not 1 inch thick, but it is also not 3/4 inches thick (the thickness of a 1-inch board).
-A person not familiar with this history may be puzzled at the disconnect between the nominal and actual dimensions of lumber/timber, perhaps to the point of thinking that some underhanded short-measure had gone on. To such persons, the comic’s Dimensional Lumber Tape Measure makes sense, or at least addresses the disconnect. It would not, however, have any practical use, and attempts to employ it would likely lead to constructions going dangerously awry. Necessary lengths of timber, as well as other cuts that fine-tuned a supplied timber to fill a space, would be intrinsically inconsistent with the gaps they were intended to tightly fit within. At best, ''every single'' component of a construction would be measured and cut according to this particular measure and the resulting structure would be self-consistent but subtly undersized compared to the original plan.
+A person not familiar with this history may be puzzled at the disconnect between the nominal and actual dimensions of lumber/timber, perhaps to the point of thinking that some underhanded short-measure had gone on. To such persons, the comic's Dimensional Lumber Tape Measure makes sense, or at least addresses the disconnect. It would not, however, have any practical use, and attempts to employ it would likely lead to constructions going dangerously awry. Necessary lengths of timber, as well as other cuts that fine-tuned a supplied timber to fill a space, would be intrinsically inconsistent with the gaps they were intended to tightly fit within. At best, ''every single'' component of a construction would be measured and cut according to this particular measure and the resulting structure would be self-consistent but subtly undersized compared to the original plan.
-Additionally, leaving it in someone else’s toolbox without informing them would likely lead to them incorrectly measuring things, as the Dimensional Lumber Tape Measure appears visually similar to a standard tape measure and has similar enough units that it is plausible someone could use the Dimensional Lumber Tape Measure and assume it indicated full inches.
+Additionally, leaving it in someone else's toolbox without informing them would likely lead to them incorrectly measuring things, as the Dimensional Lumber Tape Measure appears visually similar to a standard tape measure and has similar enough units that it is plausible someone could use the Dimensional Lumber Tape Measure and assume it indicated full inches.
-The title text is a play on the adage “A man with two watches is never sure what time it is”. That adage is a rephrasing of {{w|Segal’s law}}.
+The title text is a play on the adage "A man with two watches is never sure what time it is". That adage is a rephrasing of {{w|Segal's law}}.
 ==Transcript==

@@ Line 26: / Line 26: @@
 ===Dimensional Lumber Tape Measure===
-Dimensional lumber sizes are tricky. A “2×4” is actually 1½" by 3½", and a “1×8” is ¾" by 7⅛".
+Dimensional lumber sizes are tricky. A “2×4” is actually 1½″ by 3½″, and a “1×8” is ¾″ by 7⅛″.
-(A drawing of a rectangular wooden block labelled “2×4”, with notes indicating the length of the sides being 1½" and 3½".)
+(A drawing of a rectangular wooden block labelled “2×4”, with notes indicating the length of the sides being 1½″ and 3½″.)
 If you know someone into carpentry or woodworking, get them our ''dimensional lumber tape measure''.
-(A drawing of two tape measures seen from the side. One is labeled <code>12'</code>, and the other is labeled <code>12'*</code>.)
+(A drawing of two tape measures seen from the side. One is labeled <code>12′</code>, and the other is labeled <code>12′*</code>.)
 (Two drawings of the tape measures’ tapes is cutoff in the right panel:)

3138: Dimensional Lumber Tape Measure - Revision history

2.50.0.22: /* Explanation */

Promethean: /* Explanation */

Promethean: Explain why shrink ruler is the opposite

216.9.105.210: /* Explanation */

216.9.105.210: /* Explanation */

82.132.238.27: /* Explanation */

Scs: /* Explanation */ mention shrink rulers

82.132.238.63: /* Transcript */ Really needs the "//” and "\\" Randall-style quotemarks (perhaps neutral-" with forward/back italic-style?) if not antithetical to Transcript, not "66"/"99" smartquotes. But applied the more proper double-prime character to inches, etc

82.132.238.63: /* Explanation */ Wikipedia doesn't want smartquotes. (Use ″ or ″ (&Prime;) for inches.)

134.60.67.135: /* Transcript */

82.132.238.63: /* Explanation */ Wikipedia doesn't want smartquotes. (Use ″ or ″ (″) for inches.)