496: Secretary: Part 3 - Revision history

Lettherebedarklight: italics

2026-03-26T13:44:37Z

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2026-03-26T13:40:27Z

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2025-04-28T15:31:01Z

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CalibansCreations: /* Explanation */

2024-12-17T11:33:32Z

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42.book.addict: Transcript clarification/category updating

2024-12-05T22:48:41Z

Transcript clarification/category updating

CalibansCreations: /* Explanation */

2024-10-14T08:13:41Z

‎Explanation

172.70.162.186: /* Explanation */ tyop...

2024-05-22T11:25:34Z

‎Explanation: tyop...

Apollo11 at 23:51, 21 May 2024

2024-05-21T23:51:49Z

@@ Line 27: / Line 27: @@
 ; You were fired from Radio Shack after you built a death ray and vaporized a customer?
-: {{w|RadioShack}} was a chain of consumer electronics shops that sold parts to build electronics with resistors, transistors, etc. Apparently Black Hat managed to build a death ray from the parts there and accidentally vaporized a customer. His line "Figures that'd be the one day that there'd be a customer in the aisle" refers to the fact that RadioShack stores had been in steady decline over the years,{{citation needed}} largely propped up by momentum.
+: {{w|RadioShack}} was a chain of consumer electronics shops that sold parts to build electronics with resistors, transistors, etc. Apparently Black Hat managed to build a death ray from the parts there and accidentally vaporized a customer. His line "Figures that'd be the ''one'' day that there'd be a customer in the aisle" refers to the fact that RadioShack stores had been in steady decline over the years, largely propped up by momentum.
 ; And you were thrown out of Microsoft headquarters for... trying to feed a squirrel through a fax machine?
@@ Line 35: / Line 35: @@
 : {{w|Ruth Bader Ginsburg}} was the second female justice on the {{w|Supreme Court of the United States|Supreme Court}}, appointed by President Clinton. The relevance here is that during her own confirmation hearings, she refused to answer many questions about her personal views, frustrating many Senators (nevertheless, she was confirmed, 96-3). {{w|John Roberts}}, the current Chief Justice, was similarly evasive in his hearings, citing the "Ginsburg Precedent."
-; And this-you stole a nuclear submarine?
+; And this–you ''stole'' a nuclear submarine?
 : Black Hat stole a {{w|nuclear submarine}} in xkcd [[405: Journal 3]] to get his hat back from [[Danish]]. However, that one was a Russian submarine, and in 2008 (when this comic was drawn), the US Senate would probably not have held that against a nominee. Perhaps they are indeed referencing that incident, or it could be that he has also stolen an American submarine. Stealing one navy submarine would be impossibly hard; stealing nuclear submarines from not one but two different navies would be practically impossible. However, maybe he just asked [[Beret Guy|somebody]] to help him, or it's possible it was just an American submarine he brought to Russia.
@@ Line 58: / Line 58: @@
 :Senator 4: You were fired from Radio Shack after you built a death ray and vaporized a customer?
-:Black Hat: I was just testing it! Figures that'd be the one day there was a shopper in the aisle.
+:Black Hat: I was just testing it! Figures that'd be the ''one'' day there was a shopper in the aisle.
 :Senator 4: And you were thrown out of Microsoft headquarters for... trying to feed a squirrel through a fax machine?
@@ Line 68: / Line 68: @@
 :Senator 2: This is the worst history of vandalism, gleeful mayhem, and general recalcitrance we've seen in a nominee since Ruth Bader Ginsburg.
-:Senator 2: And this-you stole a nuclear submarine?
+:Senator 2: And this–you ''stole'' a nuclear submarine?
 :Black Hat: I plead the third.

@@ Line 17: / Line 17: @@
 * [[498: Secretary: Part 5]]
-; Starbucks
+; Is it true you completely disassembled someone's car outside a Starbucks?
 : {{w|Starbucks}} is an American coffee shop chain. He hasn't yet, but in [[562: Parking]], Black Hat will cut someone's car in half to make it fit in a single space. Not quite as dramatic as completely disassembling a car and, as the title text says, putting a single piece in another car parked in the lot, and building a car out of the displaced parts, which could almost be considered subtle, but it is quite dramatic. The title text refers to the Starbucks incident. Taking all the parts from different cars to build a new car in the same spot parallels the idea in philosophy of the {{w|Ship of Theseus}}, in which a question arises of whether a ship is the same ship if it is replaced piece by piece by identical pieces.
-; Charles M. Schulz
+; You stole a red Fokker triplane and strafed the snoopy float at the Macy's Thanksgiving day parade?
 : {{w|Charles M. Schulz}} drew a comic called {{w|Peanuts}}. One of the recurring characters was {{w|Snoopy}}, who would often use his doghouse as an imaginary {{w|Sopwith Camel}} in many battles with {{w|Manfred von Richthofen|The Red Baron}}, who piloted a {{w|Fokker Dr.I|Red Fokker}} {{w|Triplane}}. The {{w|Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade}} is a parade that happens on {{w|Thanksgiving (United States)|Thanksgiving Day}} in the US. There are many giant balloons of pop-culture icons. Snoopy has made many appearances. Being the [[classhole]] that he is, Black Hat has shot up the Snoopy float with a stolen Red Fokker triplane, which would be disturbing, especially to the kids watching the parade, who would get the impression that Snoopy has died. His statement that he "Got three mimes, too" just proves his casual disregard for collateral damage. He may have targeted the three mimes specifically because mimes pretend imaginary things are physically real, and would prove ironic, as Snoopy's adventures in Peanuts are imaginary, so it would make the most sense for the mimes to be hit.
-; 9/11 Truthers
+; You disrupted a 9/11 truth meeting, insisting the Twin Towers never actually collapsed?
 : {{w|9/11 Truth movement|9/11 Truthers}} believe that the terrorist attack on the {{w|World Trade Center (1973–2001)|World Trade Center}} towers on {{w|September 11 attacks|September 11, 2001}} (thus 9/11) was not actually organized by terrorists, but by the United States government. Black Hat interrupts their conspiracy theory gathering, insisting on a comically exaggerated version of this conspiracy theory in which the attacks did not happen ''at all'' and the World Trade Center is presumably still standing. Such a conspiracy is extremely implausible, as it would require either the involvement of every single person to ever set foot in one of the world's largest cities, or some way to conceal a pair of hundred story tall buildings, both of which would be extremely difficult. Whether Black Hat actually believes this, or is just trying to troll conspiracy theorists, is unknown. Black Hat uses a common refrain [[:Category:Sheeple|Wake up, Sheeple]] to insult the senators.
-; RadioShack
+; You were fired from Radio Shack after you built a death ray and vaporized a customer?
 : {{w|RadioShack}} was a chain of consumer electronics shops that sold parts to build electronics with resistors, transistors, etc. Apparently Black Hat managed to build a death ray from the parts there and accidentally vaporized a customer. His line "Figures that'd be the one day that there'd be a customer in the aisle" refers to the fact that RadioShack stores had been in steady decline over the years,{{citation needed}} largely propped up by momentum.
-; Microsoft
+; And you were thrown out of Microsoft headquarters for... trying to feed a squirrel through a fax machine?
 : {{w|Microsoft}} is the company that makes {{w|Microsoft Windows|Windows}}, and {{w|Steve Ballmer}} was its {{w|Chief executive officer|CEO}} until being replaced in 2014 by {{w|Satya Nadella}}. {{w|Windows Vista}} is an {{w|operating system}} released in 2007; software critics widely panned it. It is unclear how feeding a squirrel through a fax machine could possibly contribute to winning an argument about it, but given Black Hat's almost superhuman abilities to troll and avoid the consequences, it's possible that it could happen. Alternatively, Ballmer could've left the argument after the incident and Black Hat could simply be interpreting that as a victory.
-; Ruth Bader Ginsburg
+; This is the worst history of vandalism, gleeful mayhem, and general recalcitrance we've seen in a nominee since Ruth Bader Ginsburg.
 : {{w|Ruth Bader Ginsburg}} was the second female justice on the {{w|Supreme Court of the United States|Supreme Court}}, appointed by President Clinton. The relevance here is that during her own confirmation hearings, she refused to answer many questions about her personal views, frustrating many Senators (nevertheless, she was confirmed, 96-3). {{w|John Roberts}}, the current Chief Justice, was similarly evasive in his hearings, citing the "Ginsburg Precedent."
-; Nuclear submarine
+; And this-you stole a nuclear submarine?
 : Black Hat stole a {{w|nuclear submarine}} in xkcd [[405: Journal 3]] to get his hat back from [[Danish]]. However, that one was a Russian submarine, and in 2008 (when this comic was drawn), the US Senate would probably not have held that against a nominee. Perhaps they are indeed referencing that incident, or it could be that he has also stolen an American submarine. Stealing one navy submarine would be impossibly hard; stealing nuclear submarines from not one but two different navies would be practically impossible. However, maybe he just asked [[Beret Guy|somebody]] to help him, or it's possible it was just an American submarine he brought to Russia.
-; Pleading the fifth
+; You mean the fifth?
 : "Pleading the fifth" is to invoke the {{w|Fifth Amendment to the United States Constitution|Fifth Amendment}} of the {{w|United States Bill of Rights}}. Specifically, when someone pleads the fifth, they mean that they cannot be compelled to give testimony against themselves. That is, they do not have to say anything that could be taken as an admission of guilt. The {{w|Third Amendment to the United States Constitution|third amendment}} states that no homeowner has to keep troops of the United States Army in their house against their will. Either Black Hat doesn't understand the 3rd Amendment, he just chooses this amendment over the 5th to confuse the committee, who seems to forget the question, believes the nuclear submarine to be his property, and rather than stealing it, he was simply expelling military personnel who were "quartered" in his nuclear sub without his permission (see xkcd [[886: Craigslist Apartments]]), or he stole the submarine in order to have a convenient place other than his house to quarter troops.

@@ Line 16: / Line 16: @@
 * [[497: Secretary: Part 4]]
 * [[498: Secretary: Part 5]]
 ; Starbucks
 : {{w|Starbucks}} is an American coffee shop chain. He hasn't yet, but in [[562: Parking]], Black Hat will cut someone's car in half to make it fit in a single space. Not quite as dramatic as completely disassembling a car and, as the title text says, putting a single piece in another car parked in the lot, and building a car out of the displaced parts, which could almost be considered subtle, but it is quite dramatic. The title text refers to the Starbucks incident. Taking all the parts from different cars to build a new car in the same spot parallels the idea in philosophy of the {{w|Ship of Theseus}}, in which a question arises of whether a ship is the same ship if it is replaced piece by piece by identical pieces.
 ; Charles M. Schulz
 : {{w|Charles M. Schulz}} drew a comic called {{w|Peanuts}}. One of the recurring characters was {{w|Snoopy}}, who would often use his doghouse as an imaginary {{w|Sopwith Camel}} in many battles with {{w|Manfred von Richthofen|The Red Baron}}, who piloted a {{w|Fokker Dr.I|Red Fokker}} {{w|Triplane}}. The {{w|Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade}} is a parade that happens on {{w|Thanksgiving (United States)|Thanksgiving Day}} in the US. There are many giant balloons of pop-culture icons. Snoopy has made many appearances. Being the [[classhole]] that he is, Black Hat has shot up the Snoopy float with a stolen Red Fokker triplane, which would be disturbing, especially to the kids watching the parade, who would get the impression that Snoopy has died. His statement that he "Got three mimes, too" just proves his casual disregard for collateral damage. He may have targeted the three mimes specifically because mimes pretend imaginary things are physically real, and would prove ironic, as Snoopy's adventures in Peanuts are imaginary, so it would make the most sense for the mimes to be hit.
 ; 9/11 Truthers
 : {{w|9/11 Truth movement|9/11 Truthers}} believe that the terrorist attack on the {{w|World Trade Center (1973–2001)|World Trade Center}} towers on {{w|September 11 attacks|September 11, 2001}} (thus 9/11) was not actually organized by terrorists, but by the United States government. Black Hat interrupts their conspiracy theory gathering, insisting on a comically exaggerated version of this conspiracy theory in which the attacks did not happen ''at all'' and the World Trade Center is presumably still standing. Such a conspiracy is extremely implausible, as it would require either the involvement of every single person to ever set foot in one of the world's largest cities, or some way to conceal a pair of hundred story tall buildings, both of which would be extremely difficult. Whether Black Hat actually believes this, or is just trying to troll conspiracy theorists, is unknown. Black Hat uses a common refrain [[:Category:Sheeple|Wake up, Sheeple]] to insult the senators.
 ; RadioShack
 : {{w|RadioShack}} was a chain of consumer electronics shops that sold parts to build electronics with resistors, transistors, etc. Apparently Black Hat managed to build a death ray from the parts there and accidentally vaporized a customer. His line "Figures that'd be the one day that there'd be a customer in the aisle" refers to the fact that RadioShack stores had been in steady decline over the years,{{citation needed}} largely propped up by momentum.
 ; Microsoft
 : {{w|Microsoft}} is the company that makes {{w|Microsoft Windows|Windows}}, and {{w|Steve Ballmer}} was its {{w|Chief executive officer|CEO}} until being replaced in 2014 by {{w|Satya Nadella}}. {{w|Windows Vista}} is an {{w|operating system}} released in 2007; software critics widely panned it. It is unclear how feeding a squirrel through a fax machine could possibly contribute to winning an argument about it, but given Black Hat's almost superhuman abilities to troll and avoid the consequences, it's possible that it could happen. Alternatively, Ballmer could've left the argument after the incident and Black Hat could simply be interpreting that as a victory.
 ; Ruth Bader Ginsburg
 : {{w|Ruth Bader Ginsburg}} was the second female justice on the {{w|Supreme Court of the United States|Supreme Court}}, appointed by President Clinton. The relevance here is that during her own confirmation hearings, she refused to answer many questions about her personal views, frustrating many Senators (nevertheless, she was confirmed, 96-3). {{w|John Roberts}}, the current Chief Justice, was similarly evasive in his hearings, citing the "Ginsburg Precedent."
 ; Nuclear submarine
 : Black Hat stole a {{w|nuclear submarine}} in xkcd [[405: Journal 3]] to get his hat back from [[Danish]]. However, that one was a Russian submarine, and in 2008 (when this comic was drawn), the US Senate would probably not have held that against a nominee. Perhaps they are indeed referencing that incident, or it could be that he has also stolen an American submarine. Stealing one navy submarine would be impossibly hard; stealing nuclear submarines from not one but two different navies would be practically impossible. However, maybe he just asked [[Beret Guy|somebody]] to help him, or it's possible it was just an American submarine he brought to Russia.
 ; Pleading the fifth
 : "Pleading the fifth" is to invoke the {{w|Fifth Amendment to the United States Constitution|Fifth Amendment}} of the {{w|United States Bill of Rights}}. Specifically, when someone pleads the fifth, they mean that they cannot be compelled to give testimony against themselves. That is, they do not have to say anything that could be taken as an admission of guilt. The {{w|Third Amendment to the United States Constitution|third amendment}} states that no homeowner has to keep troops of the United States Army in their house against their will. Either Black Hat doesn't understand the 3rd Amendment, he just chooses this amendment over the 5th to confuse the committee, who seems to forget the question, believes the nuclear submarine to be his property, and rather than stealing it, he was simply expelling military personnel who were "quartered" in his nuclear sub without his permission (see xkcd [[886: Craigslist Apartments]]), or he stole the submarine in order to have a convenient place other than his house to quarter troops.

@@ Line 16: / Line 16: @@
 * [[497: Secretary: Part 4]]
 * [[498: Secretary: Part 5]]
 ; Starbucks

@@ Line 17: / Line 17: @@
 * [[498: Secretary: Part 5]]
-*{{w|Starbucks}} is an American coffee shop chain. He hasn't yet, but in [[562: Parking]], Black Hat will cut someone's car in half to make it fit in a single space. Not quite as dramatic as completely disassembling a car and, as the title text says, putting a single piece in another car parked in the lot, and building a car out of the displaced parts, which could almost be considered subtle, but it is quite dramatic. The title text refers to the Starbucks incident. Taking all the parts from different cars to build a new car in the same spot parallels the idea in philosophy of the {{w|Ship of Theseus}}, in which a question arises of whether a ship is the same ship if it is replaced piece by piece by identical pieces.
+; Starbucks
-*{{w|Charles M. Schulz}} drew a comic called {{w|Peanuts}}. One of the recurring characters was {{w|Snoopy}}, who would often use his doghouse as an imaginary {{w|Sopwith Camel}} in many battles with {{w|Manfred von Richthofen|The Red Baron}}, who piloted a {{w|Fokker Dr.I|Red Fokker}} {{w|Triplane}}. The {{w|Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade}} is a parade that happens on {{w|Thanksgiving (United States)|Thanksgiving Day}} in the US. There are many giant balloons of pop-culture icons. Snoopy has made many appearances. Being the [[classhole]] that he is, Black Hat has shot up the Snoopy float with a stolen Red Fokker triplane, which would be disturbing, especially to the kids watching the parade, who would get the impression that Snoopy has died. His statement that he "Got three mimes, too" just proves his casual disregard for collateral damage. He may have targeted the three mimes specifically because mimes pretend imaginary things are physically real, and would prove ironic, as Snoopy's adventures in Peanuts are imaginary, so it would make the most sense for the mimes to be hit.
-*{{w|9/11 Truth movement|9/11 Truthers}} believe that the terrorist attack on the {{w|World Trade Center (1973–2001)|World Trade Center}} towers on {{w|September 11 attacks|September 11, 2001}} (thus 9/11) was not actually organized by terrorists, but by the United States government. Black Hat interrupts their conspiracy theory gathering, insisting on a comically exaggerated version of this conspiracy theory in which the attacks did not happen ''at all'' and the World Trade Center is presumably still standing. Such a conspiracy is extremely implausible, as it would require either the involvement of every single person to ever set foot in one of the world's largest cities, or some way to conceal a pair of hundred story tall buildings, both of which would be extremely difficult. Whether Black Hat actually believes this, or is just trying to troll conspiracy theorists, is unknown. Black Hat uses a common refrain [[:Category:Sheeple|Wake up, Sheeple]] to insult the senators.
+: {{w|Starbucks}} is an American coffee shop chain. He hasn't yet, but in [[562: Parking]], Black Hat will cut someone's car in half to make it fit in a single space. Not quite as dramatic as completely disassembling a car and, as the title text says, putting a single piece in another car parked in the lot, and building a car out of the displaced parts, which could almost be considered subtle, but it is quite dramatic. The title text refers to the Starbucks incident. Taking all the parts from different cars to build a new car in the same spot parallels the idea in philosophy of the {{w|Ship of Theseus}}, in which a question arises of whether a ship is the same ship if it is replaced piece by piece by identical pieces.
-*{{w|RadioShack}} was a chain of consumer electronics shops that sold parts to build electronics with resistors, transistors, etc. Apparently Black Hat managed to build a death ray from the parts there and accidentally vaporized a customer. His line "Figures that'd be the one day that there'd be a customer in the aisle" refers to the fact that RadioShack stores had been in steady decline over the years,{{citation needed}} largely propped up by momentum.
-*{{w|Microsoft}} is the company that makes {{w|Microsoft Windows|Windows}}, and {{w|Steve Ballmer}} was its {{w|Chief executive officer|CEO}} until being replaced in 2014 by {{w|Satya Nadella}}. {{w|Windows Vista}} is an {{w|operating system}} released in 2007; software critics widely panned it. It is unclear how feeding a squirrel through a fax machine could possibly contribute to winning an argument about it, but given Black Hat's almost superhuman abilities to troll and avoid the consequences, it's possible that it could happen. Alternatively, Ballmer could've left the argument after the incident and Black Hat could simply be interpreting that as a victory.
+; Charles M. Schulz
-*{{w|Ruth Bader Ginsburg}} was the second female justice on the {{w|Supreme Court of the United States|Supreme Court}}, appointed by President Clinton. The relevance here is that during her own confirmation hearings, she refused to answer many questions about her personal views, frustrating many Senators (nevertheless, she was confirmed, 96-3). {{w|John Roberts}}, the current Chief Justice, was similarly evasive in his hearings, citing the "Ginsburg Precedent."
-*Black Hat stole a {{w|nuclear submarine}} in xkcd [[405: Journal 3]] to get his hat back from [[Danish]]. However, that one was a Russian submarine, and in 2008 (when this comic was drawn), the US Senate would probably not have held that against a nominee. Perhaps they are indeed referencing that incident, or it could be that he has also stolen an American submarine. Stealing one navy submarine would be impossibly hard; stealing nuclear submarines from not one but two different navies would be practically impossible. However, maybe he just asked [[Beret Guy|somebody]] to help him, or it's possible it was just an American submarine he brought to Russia.
+: {{w|Charles M. Schulz}} drew a comic called {{w|Peanuts}}. One of the recurring characters was {{w|Snoopy}}, who would often use his doghouse as an imaginary {{w|Sopwith Camel}} in many battles with {{w|Manfred von Richthofen|The Red Baron}}, who piloted a {{w|Fokker Dr.I|Red Fokker}} {{w|Triplane}}. The {{w|Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade}} is a parade that happens on {{w|Thanksgiving (United States)|Thanksgiving Day}} in the US. There are many giant balloons of pop-culture icons. Snoopy has made many appearances. Being the [[classhole]] that he is, Black Hat has shot up the Snoopy float with a stolen Red Fokker triplane, which would be disturbing, especially to the kids watching the parade, who would get the impression that Snoopy has died. His statement that he "Got three mimes, too" just proves his casual disregard for collateral damage. He may have targeted the three mimes specifically because mimes pretend imaginary things are physically real, and would prove ironic, as Snoopy's adventures in Peanuts are imaginary, so it would make the most sense for the mimes to be hit.
-*"Pleading the fifth" is to invoke the {{w|Fifth Amendment to the United States Constitution|Fifth Amendment}} of the {{w|United States Bill of Rights}}. Specifically, when someone pleads the fifth, they mean that they cannot be compelled to give testimony against themselves. That is, they do not have to say anything that could be taken as an admission of guilt. The {{w|Third Amendment to the United States Constitution|third amendment}} states that no homeowner has to keep troops of the United States Army in their house against their will. Either Black Hat doesn't understand the 3rd Amendment, he just chooses this amendment over the 5th to confuse the committee, who seems to forget the question, believes the nuclear submarine to be his property, and rather than stealing it, he was simply expelling military personnel who were "quartered" in his nuclear sub without his permission (see xkcd [[886: Craigslist Apartments]]), or he stole the submarine in order to have a convenient place other than his house to quarter troops.
 The final panels show [[Ron Paul]]'s blimp finally approaching Washington DC. The balloon spotted on their radar is presumably piloted by blogger [[Cory Doctorow]], as revealed in the next installment, Secretary: Part 4.

@@ Line 30: / Line 30: @@
 ==Transcript==
 :[The confirmation hearings begin.]
-:Senator: It appears you have quite an arrest record.
+:[The senators are all Cueballs.]
-:Senator: Is it true you completely disassembled someone's car outside a Starbucks?
+:Senator 2: Is it true you completely disassembled someone's car outside a Starbucks?
 :Black Hat: It was parked across two spaces.
-:Senator: You stole a red Fokker triplane and strafed the snoopy float at the Macy's Thanksgiving day parade?
+:Senator 3: You stole a red Fokker triplane and strafed the snoopy float at the Macy's Thanksgiving day parade?
 :Black Hat: Got three mimes, too.
-:Senator: You disrupted a 9/11 truth meeting, insisting the Twin Towers never actually collapsed?
+:Senator 2: You disrupted a 9/11 truth meeting, insisting the Twin Towers never actually collapsed?
 :Black Hat: I have evidence! Don't trust the media! Wake up, sheeple!
-:Senator: You were fired from Radio Shack after you built a death ray and vaporized a customer?
+:Senator 4: You were fired from Radio Shack after you built a death ray and vaporized a customer?
 :Black Hat: I was just testing it! Figures that'd be the one day there was a shopper in the aisle.
-:Senator: And you were thrown out of Microsoft headquarters for... trying to feed a squirrel through a fax machine?
+:Senator 4: And you were thrown out of Microsoft headquarters for... trying to feed a squirrel through a fax machine?
 :Black Hat: I forgot about that! it was part of an argument with Steve Ballmer about Vista.
 ::Which I won, by the way.
-:[Senators look down at their notes.]
+:[All Senators look down at their notes.]
-:Senator: This is the worst history of vandalism, gleeful mayhem, and general recalcitrance we've seen in a nominee since Ruth Bader Ginsburg.
+:Senator 2: This is the worst history of vandalism, gleeful mayhem, and general recalcitrance we've seen in a nominee since Ruth Bader Ginsburg.
-:Senator: And this-you stole a nuclear submarine?
+:Senator 2: And this-you stole a nuclear submarine?
 :Black Hat: I plead the third.
@@ Line 76: / Line 74: @@
 [[Category:Secretary|03]]
 [[Category:Comics sharing name|Secretary]]
 [[Category:Comics featuring Black Hat]]
 [[Category:Comics featuring Ponytail]]
 [[Category:Comics featuring Ron Paul]]
 [[Category:Multiple Cueballs]]
 [[Category:Conspiracy theory]]
 [[Category:Sheeple]]
 [[Category:9/11]]

@@ Line 18: / Line 18: @@
 *{{w|Starbucks}} is an American coffee shop chain. He hasn't yet, but in [[562: Parking]], Black Hat will cut someone's car in half to make it fit in a single space. Not quite as dramatic as completely disassembling a car and, as the title text says, putting a single piece in another car parked in the lot, and building a car out of the displaced parts, which could almost be considered subtle, but it is quite dramatic. The title text refers to the Starbucks incident. Taking all the parts from different cars to build a new car in the same spot parallels the idea in philosophy of the {{w|Ship of Theseus}}, in which a question arises of whether a ship is the same ship if it is replaced piece by piece by identical pieces.
-*{{w|Charles M. Schulz}} drew a comic called {{w|Peanuts}}. One of the recurring characters was {{w|Snoopy}}, who would often use his doghouse as an imaginary {{w|Sopwith Camel}} in many battles with {{w|Manfred von Richthofen|The Red Baron}}, who piloted a {{w|Fokker Dr.I|Red Fokker}} {{w|Triplane}}. The {{w|Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade}} is a parade that happens on {{w|Thanksgiving (United States)|Thanksgiving Day}} in the US. There are many giant balloons of pop-culture icons. Snoopy has made many appearances. Being the [[classhole]] that he is, Black Hat has shot up the Snoopy float with a stolen Red Fokker triplane, which would be disturbing, especially to the kids watching the parade, who would get the impression that Snoopy has died. His statement that he "Got three mimes, too" just proves his casual disregard for collateral damage. He likely hit three mimes specifically because mimes expertly pretend imaginary things are physically real, and a good mime would die (or appear to) if struck by imaginary rounds. It is not suggested by anyone in the panel that the attack was imaginary, but Snoopy's adventures in Peanuts are imaginary, so it would make the most sense for the mines to be hit.
+*{{w|Charles M. Schulz}} drew a comic called {{w|Peanuts}}. One of the recurring characters was {{w|Snoopy}}, who would often use his doghouse as an imaginary {{w|Sopwith Camel}} in many battles with {{w|Manfred von Richthofen|The Red Baron}}, who piloted a {{w|Fokker Dr.I|Red Fokker}} {{w|Triplane}}. The {{w|Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade}} is a parade that happens on {{w|Thanksgiving (United States)|Thanksgiving Day}} in the US. There are many giant balloons of pop-culture icons. Snoopy has made many appearances. Being the [[classhole]] that he is, Black Hat has shot up the Snoopy float with a stolen Red Fokker triplane, which would be disturbing, especially to the kids watching the parade, who would get the impression that Snoopy has died. His statement that he "Got three mimes, too" just proves his casual disregard for collateral damage. He may have targeted the three mimes specifically because mimes pretend imaginary things are physically real, and would prove ironic, as Snoopy's adventures in Peanuts are imaginary, so it would make the most sense for the mines to be hit.
 *{{w|9/11 Truth movement|9/11 Truthers}} believe that the terrorist attack on the {{w|World Trade Center (1973–2001)|World Trade Center}} towers on {{w|September 11 attacks|September 11, 2001}} (thus 9/11) was not actually organized by terrorists, but by the United States government. Black Hat interrupts their conspiracy theory gathering, insisting on a comically exaggerated version of this conspiracy theory in which the attacks did not happen ''at all'' and the World Trade Center is presumably still standing. Such a conspiracy is extremely implausible, as it would require either the involvement of every single person to ever set foot in one of the world's largest cities, or some way to conceal a pair of hundred story tall buildings, which would be extremely difficult. Whether Black Hat actually believes this, or is just trying to troll conspiracy theorists, is unknown. Black Hat uses a common refrain [[:Category:Sheeple|Wake up, Sheeple]] to insult the senators.
 *{{w|RadioShack}} was a chain of consumer electronics shops that sold parts to build electronics with resistors, transistors, etc. Apparently Black Hat managed to build a death ray from the parts there and accidentally vaporized a customer. His line "Figures that'd be the one day that there'd be a customer in the aisle" refers to the fact that RadioShack stores had been in steady decline over the years,{{citation needed}} largely propped up by momentum.