Talk:1063: Kill Hitler - Revision history

81.179.199.253: Wrong level of indent.

2026-04-06T19:10:59Z

Wrong level of indent.

81.179.199.253 at 19:10, 6 April 2026

2026-04-06T19:10:00Z

146.70.123.36 at 18:37, 6 April 2026

2026-04-06T18:37:44Z

81.179.199.253 at 22:05, 2 March 2026

2026-03-02T22:05:54Z

85.76.0.47 at 21:13, 2 March 2026

2026-03-02T21:13:43Z

42.book.addict at 05:49, 13 September 2025

2025-09-13T05:49:54Z

42.book.addict at 05:49, 13 September 2025

2025-09-13T05:49:08Z

42.book.addict at 05:46, 13 September 2025

2025-09-13T05:46:48Z

42.book.addict: /* Total Classical Games Death */ death threats/hate (i'm surprised nobody noticed this before)

2025-09-13T05:46:29Z

‎Total Classical Games Death: death threats/hate (i'm surprised nobody noticed this before)

MinersHavenM43 at 00:39, 13 September 2025

2025-09-13T00:39:40Z

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 :Not entirely sure which direction of imbalance you think the current version exhibits. I'd agree that the other issue was probably more a suicide-pact by all available evidence, the big unknown being in which order they underwent their respective methods, but it's fairly neutrally factual in the Japan case. "Persuaded" instead of "driven", perhaps, if that's where your objections lie? [[Special:Contributions/81.179.199.253|81.179.199.253]] 22:05, 2 March 2026 (UTC)
 ::Considering that Japan was already seeking to surrender and that, if they were the sole deciding factor, the nuclear bombings are the one time in history that aerial bombardment has actually caused a surrender - including the destruction of other Japanese cities during the Second World War - it's not really 'neutrally factual' as it is. {{unsigned ip|146.70.123.36|18:37, 6 April 2026}}
-::The timeline of Japan's willingness to surrender is... complicated. They were (prior to the bombs) secretly discussing possible surrender with the Soviet Union - in a way intended to be secret both to their own people and the wider allies (whether or not that was strictly true, but it may not have been seriously considered by those contemplating the forthcoming US attacks).
+:::The timeline of Japan's willingness to surrender is... complicated. They were (prior to the bombs) secretly discussing possible surrender with the Soviet Union - in a way intended to be secret both to their own people and the wider allies (whether or not that was strictly true, but it may not have been seriously considered by those contemplating the forthcoming US attacks).
-::''However'', the nominally neutral (vis-a-vis Soviet-Japenese pacts, which they broke) Soviet Union was planning (following on from discussions about that theatre of war, with the other Allies as Yalta, etc) to attack the outlying territories of Japan ''regardless'' of the possible overtures of surrender. If there had been no nuclear weapons deployed, then it's difficult to say how history would have progressed. There might have been no open ending of the Japan/US-side of the conflict, even as the USSR/Japan side might have been nominally ended (but betrayed), perhaps leading to a kind of 'two-Germanies' situation in Japan, even, and a cold war (if MAD was still a ruling aspect) or even a warmer one (until and unless the US had ''actually'' proven itself to be willing to do more than test nukes).
+:::''However'', the nominally neutral (vis-a-vis Soviet-Japenese pacts, which they broke) Soviet Union was planning (following on from discussions about that theatre of war, with the other Allies as Yalta, etc) to attack the outlying territories of Japan ''regardless'' of the possible overtures of surrender. If there had been no nuclear weapons deployed, then it's difficult to say how history would have progressed. There might have been no open ending of the Japan/US-side of the conflict, even as the USSR/Japan side might have been nominally ended (but betrayed), perhaps leading to a kind of 'two-Germanies' situation in Japan, even, and a cold war (if MAD was still a ruling aspect) or even a warmer one (until and unless the US had ''actually'' proven itself to be willing to do more than test nukes).
-::But we can't know for sure how it would have gone. Just that it seems pretty obvious that after one and/or both of the bombs being dropped (soon after the Soviet Union broke its pacts, however much that added to it, the Japanese officially surrendering within the week (in spite of several attempts by some elements of Japanese military and gorvernment to prevent it). One or both of these attacks (bombs + manchuria) then surely drove them to surrender. Certainly making happen what might not have done, so quickly and in that manner, otherwise. If I understand your objection. Certainly not far off as described. How would you put it, instead? [[Special:Contributions/81.179.199.253|81.179.199.253]] 19:10, 6 April 2026 (UTC)
+:::But we can't know for sure how it would have gone. Just that it seems pretty obvious that after one and/or both of the bombs being dropped (soon after the Soviet Union broke its pacts, however much that added to it, the Japanese officially surrendering within the week (in spite of several attempts by some elements of Japanese military and gorvernment to prevent it). One or both of these attacks (bombs + manchuria) then surely drove them to surrender. Certainly making happen what might not have done, so quickly and in that manner, otherwise. If I understand your objection. Certainly not far off as described. How would you put it, instead? [[Special:Contributions/81.179.199.253|81.179.199.253]] 19:10, 6 April 2026 (UTC)

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 Semiprotected edit request: change murder-suicide to two suicides and make the statement on Japan's reasons to surrender more balanced. [[Special:Contributions/85.76.0.47|85.76.0.47]] 21:13, 2 March 2026 (UTC)
 :Not entirely sure which direction of imbalance you think the current version exhibits. I'd agree that the other issue was probably more a suicide-pact by all available evidence, the big unknown being in which order they underwent their respective methods, but it's fairly neutrally factual in the Japan case. "Persuaded" instead of "driven", perhaps, if that's where your objections lie? [[Special:Contributions/81.179.199.253|81.179.199.253]] 22:05, 2 March 2026 (UTC)
-::Considering that Japan was already seeking to surrender and that, if they were the sole deciding factor, the nuclear bombings are the one time in history that aerial bombardment has actually caused a surrender - including the destruction of other Japanese cities during the Second World War - it's not really 'neutrally factual' as it is.
+::Considering that Japan was already seeking to surrender and that, if they were the sole deciding factor, the nuclear bombings are the one time in history that aerial bombardment has actually caused a surrender - including the destruction of other Japanese cities during the Second World War - it's not really 'neutrally factual' as it is. {{unsigned ip|146.70.123.36|18:37, 6 April 2026}}

← Older revision		Revision as of 18:37, 6 April 2026
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	Semiprotected edit request: change murder-suicide to two suicides and make the statement on Japan's reasons to surrender more balanced. [[Special:Contributions/85.76.0.47\|85.76.0.47]] 21:13, 2 March 2026 (UTC)		Semiprotected edit request: change murder-suicide to two suicides and make the statement on Japan's reasons to surrender more balanced. [[Special:Contributions/85.76.0.47\|85.76.0.47]] 21:13, 2 March 2026 (UTC)
	:Not entirely sure which direction of imbalance you think the current version exhibits. I'd agree that the other issue was probably more a suicide-pact by all available evidence, the big unknown being in which order they underwent their respective methods, but it's fairly neutrally factual in the Japan case. "Persuaded" instead of "driven", perhaps, if that's where your objections lie? [[Special:Contributions/81.179.199.253\|81.179.199.253]] 22:05, 2 March 2026 (UTC)		:Not entirely sure which direction of imbalance you think the current version exhibits. I'd agree that the other issue was probably more a suicide-pact by all available evidence, the big unknown being in which order they underwent their respective methods, but it's fairly neutrally factual in the Japan case. "Persuaded" instead of "driven", perhaps, if that's where your objections lie? [[Special:Contributions/81.179.199.253\|81.179.199.253]] 22:05, 2 March 2026 (UTC)
		+	::Considering that Japan was already seeking to surrender and that, if they were the sole deciding factor, the nuclear bombings are the one time in history that aerial bombardment has actually caused a surrender - including the destruction of other Japanese cities during the Second World War - it's not really 'neutrally factual' as it is.

← Older revision		Revision as of 22:05, 2 March 2026
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	Semiprotected edit request: change murder-suicide to two suicides and make the statement on Japan's reasons to surrender more balanced. [[Special:Contributions/85.76.0.47\|85.76.0.47]] 21:13, 2 March 2026 (UTC)		Semiprotected edit request: change murder-suicide to two suicides and make the statement on Japan's reasons to surrender more balanced. [[Special:Contributions/85.76.0.47\|85.76.0.47]] 21:13, 2 March 2026 (UTC)
		+	:Not entirely sure which direction of imbalance you think the current version exhibits. I'd agree that the other issue was probably more a suicide-pact by all available evidence, the big unknown being in which order they underwent their respective methods, but it's fairly neutrally factual in the Japan case. "Persuaded" instead of "driven", perhaps, if that's where your objections lie? [[Special:Contributions/81.179.199.253\|81.179.199.253]] 22:05, 2 March 2026 (UTC)

← Older revision		Revision as of 21:13, 2 March 2026
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	Assuming the time machine actually worked, Black Hat most likely went to explore the time of his choosing, and only told Cueball he killed Hitler right before his suicide to annoy him. I don't think Black Hat would just deprive <i>himself</i> of that big of an opportunity. [[User:MinersHavenM43\|MinersHavenM43]] ([[User talk:MinersHavenM43\|talk]]) 00:39, 13 September 2025 (UTC)		Assuming the time machine actually worked, Black Hat most likely went to explore the time of his choosing, and only told Cueball he killed Hitler right before his suicide to annoy him. I don't think Black Hat would just deprive <i>himself</i> of that big of an opportunity. [[User:MinersHavenM43\|MinersHavenM43]] ([[User talk:MinersHavenM43\|talk]]) 00:39, 13 September 2025 (UTC)
		+
		+	Semiprotected edit request: change murder-suicide to two suicides and make the statement on Japan's reasons to surrender more balanced. [[Special:Contributions/85.76.0.47\|85.76.0.47]] 21:13, 2 March 2026 (UTC)

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 :According to all reasonable time travel theories, this makes sense.  You cannot go into the past to change things, because the future that exists is a future where you were in the past - you just didn't know it yet because it was in your future.  This also applies to the future.  Your knowledge of the future cannot possibly change it because your foreknowledge exists in this future.  If your foreknowledge made that future not happen, then there would be no need to change it.   But the future and the past account for the fact that you were there to change things, even before you ever knew you would be.  Ergo, any attempt to ''change'' the past will merely result in ''causing'' the past to result exactly as it did before.  The catch-22 of time travel stories.  You can have a fatal flaw, or a fatally uncompelling story. But, all that said, this is a cartoon and not necessarily reliant on reasonable time travel theory.[[Special:Contributions/76.29.225.28|76.29.225.28]] 07:07, 23 June 2013 (UTC)
-:That's exactly my opinion on this topic! Look at this video (Mercedes vs Hitler in the past): [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ytVdBLMmRno]] ~~Muessigb
+:That's exactly my opinion on this topic! Look at this video (Mercedes vs Hitler in the past): [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ytVdBLMmRno]] ~~Muessigb {{unsigned ip|173.245.51.86|21:30, 8 December 2014 (UTC}}
 ::But say you could predict what the future would look like if you did nothing (or did not yet have that knowledge). Then by obtaining that knowledge you could then do something you would not have done otherwise and thus change the potential future. With a powerful enough simulator, you might get a good idea of what would happen if no one knew about it, and then decide if something should be changed based on this information. This is what happens in the book {{w|Lightning (novel)|Lightning}}. I do not believe this can be done, but as the future has not happened yet, I do not see the same problems as with traveling back in time. Of course having a good guess of the future is not the same as traveling to it... If you did that, then changing it after you had been there would be troublesome. See for instance {{w|Back to the Future 2}} and the book mentioned above. --[[User:Kynde|Kynde]] ([[User talk:Kynde|talk]]) 12:44, 6 January 2016 (UTC)

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−	Actually, I think the joke here is that Black Hat actually did end Hitler's atrocities, but that history is not actually changeable. Hitler's "suicide" was actually Black Hat killing him. This is then layers with the impossibility of changing history. This would imply that anyone that wants to stop Hitler before he rose to power will be circumvented.	+	Actually, I think the joke here is that Black Hat actually did end Hitler's atrocities, but that history is not actually changeable. Hitler's "suicide" was actually Black Hat killing him. This is then layers with the impossibility of changing history. This would imply that anyone that wants to stop Hitler before he rose to power will be circumvented. [[User:UnaSalusVictis\|UnaSalusVictis]] ([[User talk:UnaSalusVictis\|talk]]) 01:26, 25 November 2012 (UTC)UnaSalusVictis
−
−	[[User:UnaSalusVictis\|UnaSalusVictis]] ([[User talk:UnaSalusVictis\|talk]]) 01:26, 25 November 2012 (UTC)UnaSalusVictis

	:According to all reasonable time travel theories, this makes sense. You cannot go into the past to change things, because the future that exists is a future where you were in the past - you just didn't know it yet because it was in your future. This also applies to the future. Your knowledge of the future cannot possibly change it because your foreknowledge exists in this future. If your foreknowledge made that future not happen, then there would be no need to change it. But the future and the past account for the fact that you were there to change things, even before you ever knew you would be. Ergo, any attempt to ''change'' the past will merely result in ''causing'' the past to result exactly as it did before. The catch-22 of time travel stories. You can have a fatal flaw, or a fatally uncompelling story. But, all that said, this is a cartoon and not necessarily reliant on reasonable time travel theory.[[Special:Contributions/76.29.225.28\|76.29.225.28]] 07:07, 23 June 2013 (UTC)		:According to all reasonable time travel theories, this makes sense. You cannot go into the past to change things, because the future that exists is a future where you were in the past - you just didn't know it yet because it was in your future. This also applies to the future. Your knowledge of the future cannot possibly change it because your foreknowledge exists in this future. If your foreknowledge made that future not happen, then there would be no need to change it. But the future and the past account for the fact that you were there to change things, even before you ever knew you would be. Ergo, any attempt to ''change'' the past will merely result in ''causing'' the past to result exactly as it did before. The catch-22 of time travel stories. You can have a fatal flaw, or a fatally uncompelling story. But, all that said, this is a cartoon and not necessarily reliant on reasonable time travel theory.[[Special:Contributions/76.29.225.28\|76.29.225.28]] 07:07, 23 June 2013 (UTC)

@@ Line 1: / Line 1: @@
 Actually, I think the joke here is that Black Hat actually did end Hitler's atrocities, but that history is not actually changeable. Hitler's "suicide" was actually Black Hat killing him. This is then layers with the impossibility of changing history. This would imply that anyone that wants to stop Hitler before he rose to power will be circumvented.
 [[User:UnaSalusVictis|UnaSalusVictis]] ([[User talk:UnaSalusVictis|talk]]) 01:26, 25 November 2012 (UTC)UnaSalusVictis
 :According to all reasonable time travel theories, this makes sense.  You cannot go into the past to change things, because the future that exists is a future where you were in the past - you just didn't know it yet because it was in your future.  This also applies to the future.  Your knowledge of the future cannot possibly change it because your foreknowledge exists in this future.  If your foreknowledge made that future not happen, then there would be no need to change it.   But the future and the past account for the fact that you were there to change things, even before you ever knew you would be.  Ergo, any attempt to ''change'' the past will merely result in ''causing'' the past to result exactly as it did before.  The catch-22 of time travel stories.  You can have a fatal flaw, or a fatally uncompelling story. But, all that said, this is a cartoon and not necessarily reliant on reasonable time travel theory.[[Special:Contributions/76.29.225.28|76.29.225.28]] 07:07, 23 June 2013 (UTC)
@@ Line 9: / Line 7: @@
 :That's exactly my opinion on this topic! Look at this video (Mercedes vs Hitler in the past): [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ytVdBLMmRno]] ~~Muessigb
 ::But say you could predict what the future would look like if you did nothing (or did not yet have that knowledge). Then by obtaining that knowledge you could then do something you would not have done otherwise and thus change the potential future. With a powerful enough simulator, you might get a good idea of what would happen if no one knew about it, and then decide if something should be changed based on this information. This is what happens in the book {{w|Lightning (novel)|Lightning}}. I do not believe this can be done, but as the future has not happened yet, I do not see the same problems as with traveling back in time. Of course having a good guess of the future is not the same as traveling to it... If you did that, then changing it after you had been there would be troublesome. See for instance {{w|Back to the Future 2}} and the book mentioned above. --[[User:Kynde|Kynde]] ([[User talk:Kynde|talk]]) 12:44, 6 January 2016 (UTC)
 True, killing Hitler before he rose to power and committed all his atrocities would cause a Grandfather paradox... Cueball invented the time machine and send Black Hat back because he wanted Hitler dead, but if Hitler died before that, there would be no reason to invent the time machine and send Black Hat back which ergo cause the initial trip to kill Hitler not possible and ergo Hitler couldn't die before he rises to power and committed his atrocities. [[Special:Contributions/175.137.100.81|175.137.100.81]] 01:40, 5 December 2012 (UTC)
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 ::Thank you for this answer. My faith in explainxkcd contributors was declining rapidly until I reached your comment.  [[Special:Contributions/108.162.219.58|108.162.219.58]] 20:20, 30 January 2014 (UTC)
 ::Actually you only think that because Black Hat prevented [http://vignette4.wikia.nocookie.net/wolfenstein/images/d/d7/Hitler2forms.gif/revision/latest?cb=20090918003616 Mecha Hitler]. [[Special:Contributions/162.158.255.80|162.158.255.80]] 17:54, 16 December 2015 (UTC)
 Was the explanation always as bad as it appears now??  It's awful.  [[Special:Contributions/108.162.219.58|108.162.219.58]] 01:34, 1 February 2014 (UTC)
 First off, in a previous time line he could have escaped to a Moon Base to rebuild his army and destroy the world and Cueball just does not remember that history, just the one where Hitler dies in the bunker.  Second, there are many forms of logical time travel.  You could jump to a different Now 70 years ago and kill Hitler (assuming he exists) and then come back.  Your timeline would not have changed, but the other Now would have a future without Hitler.  The good or bad that is achieved is the same, but you get no benefit other then the joy of killing Hitler.  And you really should seek professional help for that.--[[Special:Contributions/108.162.219.18|108.162.219.18]] 18:52, 20 May 2014 (UTC)

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	Assuming the time machine actually worked, Black Hat most likely went to explore the time of his choosing, and only told Cueball he killed Hitler right before his suicide to annoy him. I don't think Black Hat would just deprive <i>himself</i> of that big of an opportunity. [[User:MinersHavenM43\|MinersHavenM43]] ([[User talk:MinersHavenM43\|talk]]) 00:39, 13 September 2025 (UTC)		Assuming the time machine actually worked, Black Hat most likely went to explore the time of his choosing, and only told Cueball he killed Hitler right before his suicide to annoy him. I don't think Black Hat would just deprive <i>himself</i> of that big of an opportunity. [[User:MinersHavenM43\|MinersHavenM43]] ([[User talk:MinersHavenM43\|talk]]) 00:39, 13 September 2025 (UTC)
−
−	~~==Total Classical Games Death==~~
−
−	Kill Classical Games. Behead Classical Games. Roundhouse kick Classical Games into the concrete. Slam dunk baby Classical Games into the trashcan. Crucify filthy Classical Games. Defecate in Classical Games's food. Launch Classical Games into the sun. Stir fry Classical Games in a wok. Toss Classical Games into an active volcano. Urinate into a Classical Games's gas tank. Judo throw Classical Games into a wood chipper. Twist Classical Games's head off. Report Classical Games to the IRS. Karate chop Classical Games in half. Curb stomp Classical Games's pregnant mother. Trap Classical Games in quicksand. Crush Classical Games in the trash compactor. Liquefy Classical Games in a vat of acid. Eat Classical Games. Dissect Classical Games. Exterminate Classical Games in the gas chamber. Stomp Classical Games's skull with steel toed boots. Cremate Classical Games in the oven. Lobotomize Classical Games. Mandatory abortions for Classical Games's mother. Grind fetal Classical Games in the garbage disposal. Drown Classical Games in fried chicken grease. Vaporize Classical Games with a ray gun. Kick old Classical Games down the stairs. Feed Classical Games to alligators. Slice Classical Games with a katana. [[Special:Contributions/172.71.151.97\|172.71.151.97]] 20:27, 30 April 2023 (UTC)
−
−	~~:I agree, I hate Classical Games. He always spams. [[Special:Contributions/172.69.23.58\|172.69.23.58]] 23:53, 15 May 2023 (UTC)~~

← Older revision		Revision as of 00:39, 13 September 2025
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	If I had a time machine I would go back only twenty years and kill Bush and Blair. Think of the millions of lives that would be saved! [[User:The Cat Lady\|-- The Cat Lady]] ([[User talk:The Cat Lady\|talk]]) 16:39, 2 September 2021 (UTC)		If I had a time machine I would go back only twenty years and kill Bush and Blair. Think of the millions of lives that would be saved! [[User:The Cat Lady\|-- The Cat Lady]] ([[User talk:The Cat Lady\|talk]]) 16:39, 2 September 2021 (UTC)
		+
		+	Assuming the time machine actually worked, Black Hat most likely went to explore the time of his choosing, and only told Cueball he killed Hitler right before his suicide to annoy him. I don't think Black Hat would just deprive <i>himself</i> of that big of an opportunity. [[User:MinersHavenM43\|MinersHavenM43]] ([[User talk:MinersHavenM43\|talk]]) 00:39, 13 September 2025 (UTC)

	==Total Classical Games Death==		==Total Classical Games Death==