1064: Front Door

Explain xkcd: It's 'cause you're dumb.
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Front Door
FYI: I'll be releasing a wolf into a randomly-chosen front yard sometime in the next 30 years. Now your fear is reasonable, and you don't need to feel embarrassed anymore. Problem solved!
Title text: FYI: I'll be releasing a wolf into a randomly-chosen front yard sometime in the next 30 years. Now your fear is reasonable, and you don't need to feel embarrassed anymore. Problem solved!

Explanation

This comic is showing in graphical form three different actions/feelings as Randall is approaching his front door at night. His "Fear That There's Something Behind Me" rises, so then his "Forward Speed" rises to get to his door faster. And then when he gets in the door and finds that in fact, there is nothing behind him, his "Embarrassment" rises.

This happens to all of us, whether it is "Did I hear a noise upstairs?" or "Is that an axe murderer hiding in that hedge?" or Velociraptors.

The title text attempts to alleviate this problem by introducing a greater one. Sure, knowing there might actually be a wolf behind you would prevent the embarrassment of realizing there isn't, but now that annoyance is replaced by the real threat of death.

Transcript

[A graph titled 'Walking Back to My Front Door at Night': the x axis represents geographic location, where 0 to around the midpoint is 'yard', a point beyond the midpoint is 'steps', a point after that is 'door', and all points afterward are 'inside.'
A blue line, labeled 'Fear That There's Something Behind Me' begins to slowly increase from the start, with a slight dip further into the yard, and a steep increase right before the steps, maxing on the steps, and declining steeply at the door, bottoming out once inside.
A gray line, labeled 'Forward Speed' is at a steady medium height until it gets to the steps, at which point it shoots upwards, and then slowly declines once inside.
A red line, labeled 'Embarrassment' stays at 0 until just before the steps, where it begins to trend upwards, spikes at the door, and begins to slowly decline once inside.]


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Discussion

What kind of place does Randall live in, to be so afraid of being outside at night? Davidy22[talk] 13:41, 8 January 2013 (UTC)

Legal professionals take note of potential suspect or scapegoat. DruidDriver (talk) 02:27, 17 January 2013 (UTC)

It is possible that Randall's fear at his door is from Velociraptors --DanB (talk) 21:42, 30 April 2013 (UTC) --DanB (talk) 21:42, 30 April 2013 (UTC)


I don't think the lack of embarressment relates to being eaten by the wolf, but rather the fact that since a wolf being in your yard is a legitimate concern due to Randall releasing one in the next 30 years. Therefore any fear as you approach your front door would be reasonable as there may be a wolf, and you shouldn't feel embarressed about it. 108.162.218.47 (talk) (please sign your comments with ~~~~)

I thought the graph showed that he tripped on the steps in the dark because he was going too fast, and felt embarrassed. 108.162.216.58 14:19, 24 December 2015 (UTC)

For me its a swarm of killer bees--141.101.99.73 17:23, 24 February 2021 (UTC)