1702: Home Itch Remedies

Explain xkcd: It's 'cause you're dumb.
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Home Itch Remedies
In my experience, mosquitos and poison ivy are bad, but the very worst itch comes from bites from chiggers (Trombicula alfreddugesi). They're found across the American south and great plains, so the best home remedy is to move to Iceland.
Title text: In my experience, mosquitos and poison ivy are bad, but the very worst itch comes from bites from chiggers (Trombicula alfreddugesi). They're found across the American south and great plains, so the best home remedy is to move to Iceland.

Explanation

Ambox notice.png This explanation may be incomplete or incorrect: Basic transcript. Please improve on it.
If you can address this issue, please edit the page! Thanks.

Bug bites, such as mosquito bites, are itchy. Home remedies such as Alternative medicine or Homeopathy are often ineffective, and in some cases very complicated -- think of the number of suggestions you have got on how to cure hiccups. In this case Cueball's suggesting turns out to be insanely complicated, involving finding rare French orchids. In this case Megan is not actually interested in trying out a complex home remedy, but really just wants sympathy.

Megan's answer is a sarcastic comment stating that her own family home remedy is to keep scratching until the skin falls off -- which is a natural tendency to do, although not until the skin literally falls off, and hence it is not a home remedy but a natural reaction.

Most times the simplest solution is the best, and since Iceland had been isolated until the Vikings, there are no spiders or snakes other than those that have been brought with the migration to Iceland -- the title text makes fun of this, suggesting that the simplest cure for spider bites is to move to Iceland.

Transcript

Ambox notice.png This transcript is incomplete. Please help editing it! Thanks.
[Megan and Cueball stand as Megan scratches her itches.]
Megan: Argh, bug bites are the worst. I shouldn't scratch but... so itchy.
Cueball: Oh, you know what's great for that?
[Zoom-in to Megan's head and upper torso. Cueball is off-panel.]
Megan: No, Don't tell me. Everyone always has weird home remedies that never work. I just want sympathy.
Cueball: No, this one isn't weird, I promise. It really helps!
[Zoom-out to Megan and Cueball. Megan is still scratching.]
Cueball: First, take a hot shower. Then dip some ice cubes in vinegar and use them to crush one baby aspirin. Then make some tea, and...
[Panel expands to show that Megan is walking away while Cueball watches.]
Cueball: ...Then, you need a rare French orchid-
Megan (cutting Cueball off): I'm going to try a different home remedy where I complain a lot and scratch until my skin comes off.
Cueball: Sounds effective.
Megan: It's an old family trick.


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Discussion

Taking a hot (enough) shower is actually a remedy as it denatures the proteins causing the itching. 162.158.86.131 14:14, 4 July 2016 (UTC)

Ammonia has a similar effect for mosquito bites. Proof: http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/9689301
Why don't you add that in the explanation? It would help. 108.162.218.83 14:17, 4 July 2016 (UTC)
"...hot (enough) shower...." [citation needed] 162.158.255.113 15:42, 4 July 2016 (UTC)
I think it's important to mention that Cueball's remedy starts off plausible but gets steadily more complicated. (So I've done so.) 108.162.249.161 18:25, 6 July 2016 (UTC)

Chiggers are not spiders. Stealth101 (talk) 15:50, 4 July 2016 (UTC)

Changed spider to chigger. Chiggers may itch like the devil, but are nowhere as severe as spiders. Monolith (talk) 15:59, 4 July 2016 (UTC)

Somehow, I was expecting the explanation of the remedy to take so long that Megan got distracted away from the itch, or something. After all, the folk remedy I heard most is “Don't think about it.” 141.101.104.104 (talk) (please sign your comments with ~~~~)

This explanation in its current form misses one of the best jokes of the piece: Cueball's comment that it "sounds effective". Seems to me that he's under the genuine belief that Megan's 'home remedy' is effective, simply because it's a home remedy. Solid meta-humour. 141.101.98.119 17:35, 4 July 2016 (UTC)


What? No Juno? 108.162.215.238 20:55, 4 July 2016 (UTC)

It'll probably be there tomorrow. he's had jokes for New Horizons, Voyager 1, etc.. I don't see why he would exclude Juno. 108.162.218.142 15:27, 5 July 2016 (UTC)
Message from the future: The comic Juno did come out next but first after it was reported to have entered the planned orbit the day after this comic was released and on the day when the one second precision was reported (rather late that day so seems like Randall was waiting for some news like that to base the comic on) --Kynde (talk) 19:59, 6 July 2016 (UTC)

Anyone else think there is a pun in the title text in home remedy, since the remedy involves changing where your home is. Tharkon (talk) 21:53, 4 July 2016 (UTC)

Yes Tharkon. Totally agree Plm-qaz snr (talk) 23:31, 4 July 2016 (UTC)