1812: Onboarding

Explain xkcd: It's 'cause you're dumb.
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'So we just have a steady flow of metal piling up in our server room? Isn't that a problem?' 'Yeah, you should bring that up at our next bismuth meeting.'
Title text: 'So we just have a steady flow of metal piling up in our server room? Isn't that a problem?' 'Yeah, you should bring that up at our next bismuth meeting.'


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If you can address this issue, please
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This is another in the series of Beret's mysterious business in which Beret shows Ponytail around the building in which the company resides after she is hired.

The first panel starts out as a typical welcome to a small indie business might start (often referred to as "Onboarding" -- hence the title of this comic). Very quickly, however, his explanation quickly jumps to an existential viewpoint. Very rarely do conversations or introductions involve discussing the eventual fate of our bodies, and certainly not in a professional light as in this comic. Beret, however, has no problem with discussing death and decay as just part of his business.

In the second panel, Beret shows Ponytail the free bikeshare system this business apparently has in place. Bikesharing is a system in which many users share one or more bikes amongst themselves. Typically the bikes belong to some of the members of the group who are allowing them to be used by other members who may not have one, but Beret calmly remarks that this system will only exist "until whoever owns those bikes finds out", implying that they were not donated or shared by any member of the group, but are being used without permission or the knowledge of the true owner of the bikes.

In the third panel, Beret explains the LaserJet and the printer. However, the printer is not available, as it's been printing an infinite-scroll web page since 2013. An infinite-scrolling web page is a web page that, as the name implies, seems to have no end. This style of webpage typically has no definite pages or sections, but instead continues to feed data to the screen as the user scrolls. In reality, trying to print one of these would only print the current section the user was viewing, and even if it was somehow able to infinitely print, the operation could easily cancel the operation at any time.

In the next panel, Beret makes a few more remarks. He claims that the restrooms are "all-digital -- no pipes." While many technology standards nowadays are entirely digital, one's restroom is one of the things that most definitely should not be. A restroom without pipes would have no way to transfer bodily waste, and would most certainly be at the very least an unpleasant encounter. The Wi-Fi is "very fast, but cursed." Fast Wi-Fi is certainly desirable, but in this case, Beret claims it is also cursed. Whether the curse is a side-effect of the fast Wi-Fi or totally unrelated is left unsaid, as well as what the curse is. This could possibly be a joke relating to some of the quirks of Wi-Fi. While all technology can behave inexplicably from time to time, Wi-Fi is notorious for randomly losing connection, which might be seen as a curse.

He explains that the server room is carbon-neutral but produces bismuth constantly (More explanation needed)

In the last two panels, Beret explains that Ponytail will be working on the infrastructure, which is apparently maintained by Lin-Manuel Miranda. Lin-Manuel Miranda, among other things, is a songwriter, but certainly not an engineer or anyone qualified to be responsible for an entire infrastructure. Ponytail clearly knows this and is surprised by this fact.

It is worth noting that Beret actually acknowledges the mistake here, claiming the mistake "cost a fortune." This is unusual for Beret, as he has of yet failed to acknowledge or recognize the oddity of every other aspect of his mysterious business, many of which are certainly stranger than this. However, he doesn't seem to mind this at all, as he quickly explains the bright side of having Lin-Manuel Miranda in his business, which is apparently that Lin-Manuel is nice and makes karaoke nights fun, referencing his songwriting ability.


Ambox notice.png This transcript is incomplete. Please help editing it! Thanks.
[Beret shakes hands with Ponytail in front of building.]
Beret: Hi! Welcome to the team! We do business here and we'll turn into dirt later.
[Beret and Pigtail walk by a set of bikes]
Beret: This is our main campus. We have a free bikeshare system, at least until whoever owns those bikes finds out.
Beret: The LaserJet is over there, and the printer is over there. You can't use it right now; it's been printing an infinite-scroll webpage since 2013.
Beret: Restrooms are all-digital -- no pipes. The wifi is very fast, but cursed. Our server room is carbon-neutral but produces bismuth constantly.
Beret: You'll be working on our infrastructure, which is currently maintained by Lin-Manuel Miranda.
Ponytail: ...The songwriter? Is he also an engineer?
Beret: Nope, huge misunderstanding on our part. Cost a fortune. But he's really nice and it makes karaoke nights fun.
[Off screen, (presumably) Lin-Manuel Miranda sings.]
Lin-Manuel Miranda: How far I'll gooo