Difference between revisions of "1889: xkcd Phone 6"

Explain xkcd: It's 'cause you're dumb.
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(List of features (clockwise from center/top))
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: To solve this conundrum, Randall proposes locating the camera lens right in the middle of the screen. Therefore the user looking at the screen to see the other person's face would be also looking at the lens, creating an impression of a straight look on the other end of the chat. This is absurd since the lens would then take place of some of the center pixels of the screen, not allowing the display the center part of the captured image of the other person's face (like eyes and/or lips) which is most important for nonverbal communication. Such location of the camera lens would also likely interfere with touch-screen function. It will make other applications on the phone difficult to use, since virtually no user interface is designed to accommodate for a blind spot in the center.
 
: To solve this conundrum, Randall proposes locating the camera lens right in the middle of the screen. Therefore the user looking at the screen to see the other person's face would be also looking at the lens, creating an impression of a straight look on the other end of the chat. This is absurd since the lens would then take place of some of the center pixels of the screen, not allowing the display the center part of the captured image of the other person's face (like eyes and/or lips) which is most important for nonverbal communication. Such location of the camera lens would also likely interfere with touch-screen function. It will make other applications on the phone difficult to use, since virtually no user interface is designed to accommodate for a blind spot in the center.
 +
 +
: The idea of having the camera in the middle of the screen is only currently absurd, however, as advances in technology may enable such a feature to eventually work without disturbing the appearance or function of the phone's display, unlike the visual disturbance clearly indicated in the comic. For instance, previous technological advancements have improved the functionality of the display, starting with adding touch sensing. The touch sensitive hardware of the phone is located in thin a layer above the hardware that generates the image for the display, and capacitive touch sensing tech is less obtrusive than tech implementing previous resistive sensing. Though it has yet to be released to market, certain manufacturers are aiming to place the fingerprint reader for a phone underneath the screen, for seamless functionality. Though it may be difficult at this point, figuring a way to have a camera capture images through the array of pixels on the screen is not completely beyond imagination.
  
 
; Full-width rear camera
 
; Full-width rear camera
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; CDC partnership - phone automatically administers seasonal flu vaccine to cheek every year
 
; CDC partnership - phone automatically administers seasonal flu vaccine to cheek every year
: U.S. {{w|Centers for Disease Control and Prevention}} is a government agency tasked with addressing public health concerns such as infectious diseases, including seasonal flu. A common way of limiting spread of an infectious disease is {{w|Vaccine|vaccination}}, which most often involves administering a specially prepared medicine via an {{w|intramuscular injection}}. Researchers have investigated other delivery systems, including aerosol, or microneedle injection.  This features implies that the phone would automatically perform some form of injection once a year, administering vaccine via a small aperture while the user is holding the phone to his or her cheek during a call. However, the placement of this component is unusual as it would line up with the user's ear rather than cheek during a phone call.
+
: U.S. {{w|Centers for Disease Control and Prevention}} is a government agency tasked with addressing public health concerns such as infectious diseases, including seasonal flu. A common way of limiting spread of an infectious disease is {{w|Vaccine|vaccination}}, which most often involves administering a specially prepared medicine via an {{w|intramuscular injection}}. Researchers have investigated other delivery systems, including aerosol, or microneedle injection.  This features implies that the phone would automatically perform some form of injection once a year, administering vaccine via a small aperture while the user is holding the phone to his or her cheek during a call. However, the placement of this component is unusual as it would line up with the user's ear rather than cheek during a phone call. It may be designed to detect the fraction of a second your cheek would be in the appropriate position (perhaps after a phone call, as you may be dropping the phone from your ear), to administer it at that moment; this would conveniently prevent disturbances to a majority of conversations.
 +
 
 +
: A further absurdity to this feature is that the vaccine is different every year, in order to account for various mutations causing different and typically new strains of the virus (thus the reason it has to be administered yearly). The CDC bases the combination of strains on a best-guess of what will be the most significant strains in circulation over the upcoming year, and so in order to have the current year's vaccine, the user would have to physically load the vaccine into the phone for later administration, or there would have to be a mechanism to synthesize the concoction on-board the phone and an associated logistics framework and digital standards for OTA delivery of specifications for the year's vaccine.
  
 
; 12-function
 
; 12-function
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; Dishwasher safe
 
; Dishwasher safe
: Usually a feature of plastic containers or fancy dishes. Unlikely to appear on a smartphone, though potentially useful if you need to clean your screen. This feature may be a reference to [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nPGY2T9r1Ok this Knallerfrauen sketch] where an elderly user puts an iPad into a dishwasher to clean it.
+
: This is usually a feature of plastic containers or fancy dishes, which a normal person would want to clean using a dishwasher. Phones are rarely cleaned with anything more than a quick wipe. A phone that is truly dishwasher safe would have to be waterproof, and able to withstand high temperatures and caustic effects of detergent. This feature may be a reference to [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nPGY2T9r1Ok this Knallerfrauen sketch] where an elderly user puts an iPad into a dishwasher to clean it.
  
 
; GPS transmitter
 
; GPS transmitter
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; 3-G acceleration
 
; 3-G acceleration
: This may be a mixing of 3-D acceleration, which refers to graphics, accelerometers, which are a common feature of modern smartphones that allows them to detect movement, and 3G, referring to communications systems.  {{w|Graphics processing unit|Three-d acceleration hardware}} speeds up handling of spatial data, such as generating pictures of a simulated environment. Usually, a phone is {{w|3G|3G compatible}} if it uses a certain standard ("third generation") for data communication. However, 3-G acceleration implies the phone can accelerate at a rate of 3 times the acceleration of gravity, or approximately 30 m/s². An untrained human experiencing 3G for extensive periods of time can suffer injuries as a result, as can an untrained phone.
+
: This is a mixing of three unrelated concepts with similar names. In computer graphics, "{{w|Graphics processing unit|3-D acceleration}}" refers to GPU hardware that speeds up handling of three-dimensional data, such as rotating shapes in space. In physics, "3 Gs of acceleration" refers to speed increasing at a rate of 3 times the acceleration of Earth's gravity, or approximately 30 m/s². In cellular networks, {{w|3G}} refers to a standard for data communication.  GPUs, accelerometers, and compatibility with 3G networks are all normal features of modern smartphones.  "3-G acceleration", however, is not a real term and doesn't describe any meaningful feature of a phone.
  
 
; Portable, solar-heated
 
; Portable, solar-heated
: Portability is pretty much the entire point of using a ''mobile'' phone, so advertising portability is rather pointless. Solar ''power'' charging could be a very useful feature on a phone, but solar ''heating'' usually applies to plumbing, where a water tank is heated by the sun and used to supply hot water to taps. Technically, as the sun heats up everything it shines on, the phone is in fact solar heated.
+
: Portability is pretty much the entire point of using a ''mobile'' phone, so advertising portability is rather redundant. Solar ''power'' charging could be a very useful feature on a phone, but solar ''heating'' usually applies to plumbing, where a water tank is heated by the sun and used to supply hot water to taps. Technically, as the sun heats up everything it shines on, the phone is in fact solar heated.
  
;Pore-cleaning strip
+
; Pore-cleaning strip
: Presumably this would be part of the ''Shroud of Turin-style facial transfer unlock'', where the phone would use the dirt and oils collected from the user's face being pressed against the phone to to verify their identity. Something sticky on that location would be very annoying for clean-shaven people and extremely painful for anyone with facial hair. See also [[777: Pore Strips]]
+
: Presumably this would be part of the ''Shroud of Turin-style facial transfer unlock'', where the phone would use the dirt and oils collected from the user's face being pressed against the phone to verify their identity. Something sticky on that location would be very annoying for clean-shaven people and extremely painful for anyone with facial hair. See also [[777: Pore Strips]]
  
 
; Maximum strength
 
; Maximum strength
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; Never needs sharpening
 
; Never needs sharpening
: Phones do not need to be sharpened in the first place{{Citation needed}}. This is a feature more likely to be found in a knife advertisement (especially for a knife that cannot be sharpened, like a serrated or cera
+
: Phones do not need to be sharpened in the first place{{Citation needed}}. This is a feature more likely to be found in a knife advertisement (especially for a knife that cannot easily be sharpened, like a serrated blade), or on a mechanical pencil. But since the screen goes past the edge, it might be sharp enough to cut through things, much like a knife, though the phone would be unsafe to carry and handle if that were the case.
mic blade), or on a mechanical pencil.
 
But since the screen goes past the edge, it might be sharp enough to cut through things, much like a knife. Note that this feature combination would prevent the phone from safe handling and carrying it in your pockets.
 
  
 
; Can survive up to 30 minutes out of water
 
; Can survive up to 30 minutes out of water
: This is a play on the common IP-rating of water resistance, which is typically rated for submersion to a rated depth for 30 minutes.  A phone which could only be used or carried for 30 minutes and then needed to be immersed in water would be rather inconvenient, especially if it was still susceptible to short-circuiting as most electronic devices do when submerged.  On the other hand, perhaps this phone's target market are whales and dolphins. This would be a useful feature for them.
+
: This is a play on the common IP-rating of water resistance, which is typically rated for submersion to a rated depth for 30 minutes.  A phone which could only be used or carried for 30 minutes and then needed to be immersed in water would be rather inconvenient, especially if it was still susceptible to short-circuiting as most electronic devices do when submerged.   
 +
 
 +
: Alternately, either this phone's target market could be whales, dolphins, or other marine life, such as octopodes, or the feature could be optional. While such a feature would prove to be extremely useful for aquatic customers, the "solar-heated" feature would undoubtedly be inhibited significantly as water depths increased.
  
 
; Exclusive Audubon Society app identifies birds and lets you control their flight
 
; Exclusive Audubon Society app identifies birds and lets you control their flight
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; Extra screen
 
; Extra screen
:Possibly because of the center camera, an additional section of screen was added. Some phones also advertise having extra screen, although this refers to having a larger screen in general, rather than a small rectangle added to the bottom.
+
:Possibly because of the center camera, an additional section of screen was added. Some phones also advertise having extra screen, although this refers to having a larger screen in general, or else a form of display on another surface of the phone, such as the side or rear, rather than a small rectangle added to the bottom.
  
 
; Wireless charging port
 
; Wireless charging port
:A rather pointless feature; because wireless charging has no wires, it needs no port.  (Unless it is required for fuel for a fuel cell.  See clean coal, below.)  This may be a play on Apple's removal of headphone port from their previous phones.
+
:A port for wireless charging is an oxymoron, since wireless charging has no wires and thus has no need for a port.  (Unless it is required for fuel for a fuel cell.  See clean coal, below.)  This may be a jab at Apple's removal of headphone port from their previous phones.
  
 
; Safe for ages 6-8 months, 10 months, 18 months-3 years, and 12 years and older
 
; Safe for ages 6-8 months, 10 months, 18 months-3 years, and 12 years and older
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; Fonts developed by NASA
 
; Fonts developed by NASA
: Between 1975 and 1992 NASA used the {{w|NASA insignia|"worm" logotype}} in its insignia. It was a special font omitting the horizontal bar in the capitalized letter A. May be a reference to many advertisements that claim their product uses technology developed by NASA. This seems impressive, as NASA technology does tend to be quite strong and advanced, as they claim at their [https://spinoff.nasa.gov/ spin off] website. However, it would not be as impressive due to fonts having very little to do with NASA's core operations.
+
: Between 1975 and 1992 NASA used the {{w|NASA insignia|"worm" logotype}} in its insignia. It was a special font omitting the horizontal bar in the capitalized letter A. May be a reference to many advertisements that claim their product uses technology developed by NASA. This seems impressive, as NASA technology does tend to be quite strong and advanced, as they claim at their [https://spinoff.nasa.gov/ spin off] website. However, it would not be as impressive due to fonts having very little to do with NASA's core operations.{{Citation needed}}
  
 
; Includes applicator
 
; Includes applicator
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; Burns clean coal
 
; Burns clean coal
: There is marketing, trying to appear to be using clean energy, due to pollution concerns.  Coal burning power plants are usually quite large, so a traditional coal fired thermal-electric plant in a cell phone would be absurd.  However, {{w|Fuel cell|fuel cells}}, which produce electricity by oxidizing some fuel can be small enough to fit in a cell phone, however they do not typically burn coal.  Clean coal would be coal that is burned so that it does not give off as much soot, sulphur dioxide, nitrogen oxides, mercury, or other pollutants. (The cordless charging port might be receptacle for refueling the phone, using liquid, or using a fuel cartridge.)
+
: There is marketing, trying to appear to be using clean energy, due to pollution concerns.  Coal burning power plants are usually quite large, so a traditional coal fired thermal-electric plant in a cell phone would be absurd.  However, {{w|Fuel cell|fuel cells}}, which produce electricity by oxidizing some fuel can be small enough to fit in a cell phone, but they do not typically burn coal.  Clean coal is coal that is burned so that it does not give off as much soot, sulphur dioxide, nitrogen oxides, mercury, or other pollutants as "normal" coal, or methods of burning coal that give off relatively less pollutants. (The cordless charging port might be receptacle for refueling the phone, using liquid, or using a fuel cartridge.)
  
 
; Pre-seasoned
 
; Pre-seasoned
:Pre-seasoned typically refers to cast iron cookware which is ready to use out of the box, as opposed to needing to season it with oil and heat. It can also refer to packaged meats which are ready to cook without needing to be seasoned with herbs and spices, or timber that has been dried and is ready for use.
+
:Pre-seasoned typically refers to cast iron cookware which is ready to use out of the box, as opposed to needing to season it with oil and heat. It can also refer to packaged meats which are ready to cook without needing to be seasoned with herbs and spices, or timber that has been dried and is ready for use. A more technical definition of 'seasoning' means operating devices, usually calibrated standards or battery cells, for a while in the factory, to make sure the device meets constant performance requirements without deviating or diminshing too much. In this sense it could apply to the battery of the phone.
  
 
; Broad-spectrum SPF 30
 
; Broad-spectrum SPF 30
:The xkcd phone somehow gives a sun protection factor (SPF) 30 level of protection for the skin from sun light.
+
:The xkcd phone somehow gives a sun protection factor (SPF) 30 level of protection for the skin from sun light.  Perhaps the phone itself blocks 97% of UVB radiation (this being the definition of "SPF 30"), allowing 3% through, although this would be remarkably more translucent than most phones (which allow much less than 1% of UVB, or any other visible or near-visible wavelength, through).  This would only apply to the patch of skin it blocks sunlight from.
  
 
; College-ruled
 
; College-ruled
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; 4K pixels (50×80)
 
; 4K pixels (50×80)
:This refers to having 4,000 pixels in the screen in total, rather than a screen width of ~4000 pixels.  TV's advertised as "4K" are typically up to 4096 × 2160 pixels, or 8.8 million pixels.  That would be outstanding for a cell phone whereas 4,000 pixels total would be horrendous.  As a comparison, the old Commodore VIC-20 with a resolution of 176 × 184 would have over 8 times the pixels of this phone. It is however quite close to the screen resolution of the sturdy Nokia 3310, boasting a total of 4032 pixels positioned 84 × 48.
+
:"4K" typically denotes a screen with a width of ~4000 pixels, for example in 4K TVs which have 4096×2160 pixels, or 8.8 million pixels total.  That would be an outstanding resolution for a cell phone.  Here, however, the "fine print" in parentheses clarifies that 4000 is actually the total number of pixels, not the width.  This is horrendous.  As a comparison, the old Commodore VIC-20 with a resolution of 176 × 184 would have over 8 times the pixels of this phone. It is more comparable to the screen resolution of the sturdy Nokia 3310, boasting a total of 4032 pixels positioned 84 × 48.
  
 
In the caption below the phone [[Randall]] presents many different version numbers:
 
In the caption below the phone [[Randall]] presents many different version numbers:
 
*The number 6 is in correct order of all the xkcd phones
 
*The number 6 is in correct order of all the xkcd phones
 
*The {{w|Roman numerals|roman number}} VIII refers to the newly announced {{w|iPhone 8}} and jokes about the roman number X below
 
*The {{w|Roman numerals|roman number}} VIII refers to the newly announced {{w|iPhone 8}} and jokes about the roman number X below
*Version number 10 is the current version of Microsoft Windows after omitting the number 9
+
*Version number 10 is the current version of Microsoft Windows
*The {{w|iPhone X}} was announced together with the iPhone 8 by Apple on September 12, 2017, a day before this comic was released. Apple clarified X must be read as the roman number 10, so for additional absurdity two xkcd phones share the same number, using different numeral
+
*The {{w|iPhone X}} was announced together with the iPhone 8 by Apple on September 12, 2017, a day before this comic was released. Apple clarified that X is meant to be read as the roman number 10, so for additional absurdity two xkcd phones share the same number, using different numeral
*The number 26 refers to...
+
*The number 26 refers to the number of letters in the English alphabet
 
*In the year 1876 {{w|Alexander Graham Bell}} received the U.S. Patent No. 174465 for the {{w|invention of the telephone}}, but there is still a {{w|Elisha Gray and Alexander Bell telephone controversy|controversy}} whether {{w|Elisha Gray}} was the first who presented a working telephone.  
 
*In the year 1876 {{w|Alexander Graham Bell}} received the U.S. Patent No. 174465 for the {{w|invention of the telephone}}, but there is still a {{w|Elisha Gray and Alexander Bell telephone controversy|controversy}} whether {{w|Elisha Gray}} was the first who presented a working telephone.  
Below these numbers Randall states that xkcd isn't responsible for this ''nonconsecutive version number war'', but, as it can be seen here above, he attempts to win.  By counting parallel version numbers xkcd defeated Apple 6:2. The "nonconsecutive version number war" refers to several recent phones released consecutively with nonconsecutive version numbers, including:
+
Below these numbers Randall states that xkcd isn't responsible for this ''nonconsecutive version number war'', but, as it can be seen here above, he attempts to win.  By counting parallel version numbers xkcd defeated Apple 6:2. The "nonconsecutive version number war" refers to several recent phones, and possibly operating systems, released consecutively with nonconsecutive version numbers, including:
 
*The iPhone X (or Ten) which will be released shortly after the iPhone 8
 
*The iPhone X (or Ten) which will be released shortly after the iPhone 8
 
*The Samsung Galaxy Note 7 was released after the Note 5
 
*The Samsung Galaxy Note 7 was released after the Note 5
 
*The Oneplus 5 was released after the OnePlus 3T
 
*The Oneplus 5 was released after the OnePlus 3T
 +
*The ZTE Axon 7 was released after the original Axon, skipping numbers 2-6.
 +
*Microsoft Windows 10 was released after Microsoft Windows 8, officially skipping Microsoft Windows 9
  
 
The symbols at the end are ™ for trademark, ® for registered trademark, and © for a copyright protection. The degree symbol ° after the letter C could be a play with degree Celsius.  The use of all four symbols after the phrase is ridiculous, as ™ and ® indicate trademarks with opposite registration statuses, slogans can't be copyrighted, and the degree symbol usually has no meaning when applied to text.
 
The symbols at the end are ™ for trademark, ® for registered trademark, and © for a copyright protection. The degree symbol ° after the letter C could be a play with degree Celsius.  The use of all four symbols after the phrase is ridiculous, as ™ and ® indicate trademarks with opposite registration statuses, slogans can't be copyrighted, and the degree symbol usually has no meaning when applied to text.
 
  
 
In the title text Randall attributes privacy concerns about the facial recognition feature. A picture of a face will only be used for facial recognition, but never stored on the device nor transmitted to internet. A ''small'' side effect may be that the famous selfie pictures aren't possible anymore, as well as video calls.
 
In the title text Randall attributes privacy concerns about the facial recognition feature. A picture of a face will only be used for facial recognition, but never stored on the device nor transmitted to internet. A ''small'' side effect may be that the famous selfie pictures aren't possible anymore, as well as video calls.

Revision as of 22:53, 2 January 2018

xkcd Phone 6
We understand your privacy concerns; be assured that our phones will never store or transmit images of your face.
Title text: We understand your privacy concerns; be assured that our phones will never store or transmit images of your face.

Explanation

This is the sixth entry in the ongoing xkcd Phone series, released the day after Apple announced their new iPhone 8 and the higher-end iPhone X (pronounced iPhone 10) with facial recognition features.

List of features (clockwise from center/top)

Front camera (centered for eye contact during video chat)
Front camera is a common feature of smartphones. The camera lens is located on the same side of the phone's case as the main screen and therefore it is possible to capture the image of the user's face looking at the screen and display the interlocutor's face on the screen simultaneously, enabling video chat. However, as the camera is usually located above the screen, a user looking at the displayed image of the other person directs his or her eyes at the center of the screen and not at the camera's lens. This is very visible on the other end of the chat as if the person talking was looking down and not in the interlocutor's face which is an uncomfortable situation for most people. For this reason, professionals involved in movie or TV-making, like actors or reporters, are trained to look straight into the camera's lens while talking, which creates impression of looking straight at the viewer's face. During a video chat, however, looking into the lens of an above-screen camera does not allow one to see the interlocutor's face clearly because it is then in the peripheral field of vision.
To solve this conundrum, Randall proposes locating the camera lens right in the middle of the screen. Therefore the user looking at the screen to see the other person's face would be also looking at the lens, creating an impression of a straight look on the other end of the chat. This is absurd since the lens would then take place of some of the center pixels of the screen, not allowing the display the center part of the captured image of the other person's face (like eyes and/or lips) which is most important for nonverbal communication. Such location of the camera lens would also likely interfere with touch-screen function. It will make other applications on the phone difficult to use, since virtually no user interface is designed to accommodate for a blind spot in the center.
The idea of having the camera in the middle of the screen is only currently absurd, however, as advances in technology may enable such a feature to eventually work without disturbing the appearance or function of the phone's display, unlike the visual disturbance clearly indicated in the comic. For instance, previous technological advancements have improved the functionality of the display, starting with adding touch sensing. The touch sensitive hardware of the phone is located in thin a layer above the hardware that generates the image for the display, and capacitive touch sensing tech is less obtrusive than tech implementing previous resistive sensing. Though it has yet to be released to market, certain manufacturers are aiming to place the fingerprint reader for a phone underneath the screen, for seamless functionality. Though it may be difficult at this point, figuring a way to have a camera capture images through the array of pixels on the screen is not completely beyond imagination.
Full-width rear camera
Phone cameras tend to have lenses which are quite small and round or square -- same width as height. Full-width makes it sound like the camera lens is really wide, as in a long oval or rectangle shape. This could allow the camera to gather a lot more light, potentially working in low light situations. However the lens would be more vulnerable to damage and dirt. Unless a very large sensor was used, focusing the image could be a problem, since cell phones are typically not very deep.
CDC partnership - phone automatically administers seasonal flu vaccine to cheek every year
U.S. Centers for Disease Control and Prevention is a government agency tasked with addressing public health concerns such as infectious diseases, including seasonal flu. A common way of limiting spread of an infectious disease is vaccination, which most often involves administering a specially prepared medicine via an intramuscular injection. Researchers have investigated other delivery systems, including aerosol, or microneedle injection. This features implies that the phone would automatically perform some form of injection once a year, administering vaccine via a small aperture while the user is holding the phone to his or her cheek during a call. However, the placement of this component is unusual as it would line up with the user's ear rather than cheek during a phone call. It may be designed to detect the fraction of a second your cheek would be in the appropriate position (perhaps after a phone call, as you may be dropping the phone from your ear), to administer it at that moment; this would conveniently prevent disturbances to a majority of conversations.
A further absurdity to this feature is that the vaccine is different every year, in order to account for various mutations causing different and typically new strains of the virus (thus the reason it has to be administered yearly). The CDC bases the combination of strains on a best-guess of what will be the most significant strains in circulation over the upcoming year, and so in order to have the current year's vaccine, the user would have to physically load the vaccine into the phone for later administration, or there would have to be a mechanism to synthesize the concoction on-board the phone and an associated logistics framework and digital standards for OTA delivery of specifications for the year's vaccine.
12-function
Most smartphones can be used for more than 12 different things[citation needed]. However, this may refer to the 12 basic functions of algebra (identity, squaring, cubing, square root, logarithm, exponential, reciprocal, sine, cosine, greatest integer, absolute value, and logistic), or the twelve function keys on a modern keyboard (more than the ten on the original IBM PC keyboard). Alternatively it may be a reference to calculators: basic models are sometimes referred to as four function calculators (addition, subtraction, multiplication and division), and complex scientific calculators may advertise 250 or more functions.
Dishwasher safe
This is usually a feature of plastic containers or fancy dishes, which a normal person would want to clean using a dishwasher. Phones are rarely cleaned with anything more than a quick wipe. A phone that is truly dishwasher safe would have to be waterproof, and able to withstand high temperatures and caustic effects of detergent. This feature may be a reference to this Knallerfrauen sketch where an elderly user puts an iPad into a dishwasher to clean it.
GPS transmitter
Many smartphones have a receiver for the Global Positioning System, which allows a phone to compute its position based on signals from the constellation(s) of GPS satellites. However, a device with a "GPS transmitter" would broadcast signals that would interfere with the GPS receivers of all devices nearby. This might be used in some form of differential GPS, broadcasting signals from a known location to allow more precise determination of other locations. Or such a system might be used to confuse or control devices, such as drones, which navigate using GPS.
3-G acceleration
This is a mixing of three unrelated concepts with similar names. In computer graphics, "3-D acceleration" refers to GPU hardware that speeds up handling of three-dimensional data, such as rotating shapes in space. In physics, "3 Gs of acceleration" refers to speed increasing at a rate of 3 times the acceleration of Earth's gravity, or approximately 30 m/s². In cellular networks, 3G refers to a standard for data communication. GPUs, accelerometers, and compatibility with 3G networks are all normal features of modern smartphones. "3-G acceleration", however, is not a real term and doesn't describe any meaningful feature of a phone.
Portable, solar-heated
Portability is pretty much the entire point of using a mobile phone, so advertising portability is rather redundant. Solar power charging could be a very useful feature on a phone, but solar heating usually applies to plumbing, where a water tank is heated by the sun and used to supply hot water to taps. Technically, as the sun heats up everything it shines on, the phone is in fact solar heated.
Pore-cleaning strip
Presumably this would be part of the Shroud of Turin-style facial transfer unlock, where the phone would use the dirt and oils collected from the user's face being pressed against the phone to verify their identity. Something sticky on that location would be very annoying for clean-shaven people and extremely painful for anyone with facial hair. See also 777: Pore Strips
Maximum strength
Medicines are often sold as "Maximum strength", as in the highest dose allowed by law or allowed without a prescription. For phones, there are sometimes "hardened" or "ruggedized" versions which are designed to survive harsher environmental conditions such as surviving drops and collisions, excessive water, dust, etc. So Maximum strength could indicate a "ruggedized" phone, though a screen that extended past the edges would likely have the opposite effect.
Never needs sharpening
Phones do not need to be sharpened in the first place[citation needed]. This is a feature more likely to be found in a knife advertisement (especially for a knife that cannot easily be sharpened, like a serrated blade), or on a mechanical pencil. But since the screen goes past the edge, it might be sharp enough to cut through things, much like a knife, though the phone would be unsafe to carry and handle if that were the case.
Can survive up to 30 minutes out of water
This is a play on the common IP-rating of water resistance, which is typically rated for submersion to a rated depth for 30 minutes. A phone which could only be used or carried for 30 minutes and then needed to be immersed in water would be rather inconvenient, especially if it was still susceptible to short-circuiting as most electronic devices do when submerged.
Alternately, either this phone's target market could be whales, dolphins, or other marine life, such as octopodes, or the feature could be optional. While such a feature would prove to be extremely useful for aquatic customers, the "solar-heated" feature would undoubtedly be inhibited significantly as water depths increased.
Exclusive Audubon Society app identifies birds and lets you control their flight
National Audubon Society is a non-profit organization dedicated to conservation of nature, mainly of birds, also organizing open birdwatching events. An app that identifies bird species, as for example from a photo of a bird made by the smartphone itself, would be cool. An app allowing you to control the bird's flight would be way cooler, but it is not possible with current technology - and it would fly in the face of the Audubon Society core activity. This is a reference to drones (artificial "birds") which are often controlled by a smartphone app. This may also be a reference to 1425: Tasks, in which an app that can recognize if a bird is on camera is proposed.
Extra screen
Possibly because of the center camera, an additional section of screen was added. Some phones also advertise having extra screen, although this refers to having a larger screen in general, or else a form of display on another surface of the phone, such as the side or rear, rather than a small rectangle added to the bottom.
Wireless charging port
A port for wireless charging is an oxymoron, since wireless charging has no wires and thus has no need for a port. (Unless it is required for fuel for a fuel cell. See clean coal, below.) This may be a jab at Apple's removal of headphone port from their previous phones.
Safe for ages 6-8 months, 10 months, 18 months-3 years, and 12 years and older
Usually an item is deemed safe for a particular age or older, or (in the case of toys) is recommended for a particular age range. This is unusual in that it's a hodge-podge of age ranges with no apparent reason why some ages are safe and others are not. It may be a parody of drug commercials that list several age ranges for which the drug had to be separately approved.
Screen goes past the edge
A parody of the trend of "edge to edge" displays in recent generations of smartphones, or phones whose screens curve partway around the edge of the phone.
High thread count CPU
A CPU thread is a task the CPU performs. Several threads may share memory making them a process. Threads are meant to run in parallel and the operating system distributes the workload on the available hardware execution units. These execution units are sometimes called hardware threads, especially when there is more than one per processing unit (or core). For example, the Intel Core i7 7700 is considered a 4-core, 8-thread CPU. The vague "high thread count" statement could make sense in this context, however, it is most likely a joke about bedding, where it is an actual selling point. High thread count is a marketing term for linens, where it signifies the density of threads in a textile.
Shroud of Turin-style facial transfer unlock
The Shroud of Turin contains an image of a face -- originally believed to be of Jesus Christ, before the Shroud was found to be 1200 years too young. Presumably, to unlock this phone, the user would have to physically press their face against the phone, the way Shroud-Man's image was allegedly transferred to the shroud. This is likely a reference to the iPhone X's FaceID unlock, which uses a photograph of your face augmented with spatial information to unlock it and which had attracted significant criticism immediately before this comic came out.
Fonts developed by NASA
Between 1975 and 1992 NASA used the "worm" logotype in its insignia. It was a special font omitting the horizontal bar in the capitalized letter A. May be a reference to many advertisements that claim their product uses technology developed by NASA. This seems impressive, as NASA technology does tend to be quite strong and advanced, as they claim at their spin off website. However, it would not be as impressive due to fonts having very little to do with NASA's core operations.[citation needed]
Includes applicator
What tampon packages, cosmetics, paints, and other products often say. An applicator for a phone would be absurd since the phone cannot be applied, spread, inserted, or attached to something else. This may be referring back to the aforementioned yearly vaccine.
Burns clean coal
There is marketing, trying to appear to be using clean energy, due to pollution concerns. Coal burning power plants are usually quite large, so a traditional coal fired thermal-electric plant in a cell phone would be absurd. However, fuel cells, which produce electricity by oxidizing some fuel can be small enough to fit in a cell phone, but they do not typically burn coal. Clean coal is coal that is burned so that it does not give off as much soot, sulphur dioxide, nitrogen oxides, mercury, or other pollutants as "normal" coal, or methods of burning coal that give off relatively less pollutants. (The cordless charging port might be receptacle for refueling the phone, using liquid, or using a fuel cartridge.)
Pre-seasoned
Pre-seasoned typically refers to cast iron cookware which is ready to use out of the box, as opposed to needing to season it with oil and heat. It can also refer to packaged meats which are ready to cook without needing to be seasoned with herbs and spices, or timber that has been dried and is ready for use. A more technical definition of 'seasoning' means operating devices, usually calibrated standards or battery cells, for a while in the factory, to make sure the device meets constant performance requirements without deviating or diminshing too much. In this sense it could apply to the battery of the phone.
Broad-spectrum SPF 30
The xkcd phone somehow gives a sun protection factor (SPF) 30 level of protection for the skin from sun light. Perhaps the phone itself blocks 97% of UVB radiation (this being the definition of "SPF 30"), allowing 3% through, although this would be remarkably more translucent than most phones (which allow much less than 1% of UVB, or any other visible or near-visible wavelength, through). This would only apply to the patch of skin it blocks sunlight from.
College-ruled
College-ruled is a style of notebook paper having narrower lines in order to fit more text per page. That the phone is college-ruled suggests that there are lines permanently displayed on the screen, which would obscure any images on the screen, along with any text that doesn't line up with the lines. Defective screens can show similar patterns. For example, the iPhone 6 "touch disease" cause regularly spaced vertical lines to appear on top of the screen. Here, it is possible that the manufacturer tries to pass off screen defects as features.
Sterile packaging
Useful for medical supplies, less so in a phone.
Radium backlight
The discovery of the radioactive element radium sparked a brief fad in which some watch makers painted watch faces or hands with a paint containing radium and a radioluminescent substance, such as zinc sulfide, which converted the radiation from the radium into visible light. This allowed the time to be read at night without an external power source for the light. However, it was eventually realized that regular exposure to radium could result in radiation poisoning, particularly for the workers assembling and painting the watches. A radium-based backlight would therefore be both potentially dangerous (especially for an object carried on one's person much of the time) but also largely useless, as the radioluminescent light is rather dim compared to conventional phone back lights.
4K pixels (50×80)
"4K" typically denotes a screen with a width of ~4000 pixels, for example in 4K TVs which have 4096×2160 pixels, or 8.8 million pixels total. That would be an outstanding resolution for a cell phone. Here, however, the "fine print" in parentheses clarifies that 4000 is actually the total number of pixels, not the width. This is horrendous. As a comparison, the old Commodore VIC-20 with a resolution of 176 × 184 would have over 8 times the pixels of this phone. It is more comparable to the screen resolution of the sturdy Nokia 3310, boasting a total of 4032 pixels positioned 84 × 48.

In the caption below the phone Randall presents many different version numbers:

  • The number 6 is in correct order of all the xkcd phones
  • The roman number VIII refers to the newly announced iPhone 8 and jokes about the roman number X below
  • Version number 10 is the current version of Microsoft Windows
  • The iPhone X was announced together with the iPhone 8 by Apple on September 12, 2017, a day before this comic was released. Apple clarified that X is meant to be read as the roman number 10, so for additional absurdity two xkcd phones share the same number, using different numeral
  • The number 26 refers to the number of letters in the English alphabet
  • In the year 1876 Alexander Graham Bell received the U.S. Patent No. 174465 for the invention of the telephone, but there is still a controversy whether Elisha Gray was the first who presented a working telephone.

Below these numbers Randall states that xkcd isn't responsible for this nonconsecutive version number war, but, as it can be seen here above, he attempts to win. By counting parallel version numbers xkcd defeated Apple 6:2. The "nonconsecutive version number war" refers to several recent phones, and possibly operating systems, released consecutively with nonconsecutive version numbers, including:

  • The iPhone X (or Ten) which will be released shortly after the iPhone 8
  • The Samsung Galaxy Note 7 was released after the Note 5
  • The Oneplus 5 was released after the OnePlus 3T
  • The ZTE Axon 7 was released after the original Axon, skipping numbers 2-6.
  • Microsoft Windows 10 was released after Microsoft Windows 8, officially skipping Microsoft Windows 9

The symbols at the end are ™ for trademark, ® for registered trademark, and © for a copyright protection. The degree symbol ° after the letter C could be a play with degree Celsius. The use of all four symbols after the phrase is ridiculous, as ™ and ® indicate trademarks with opposite registration statuses, slogans can't be copyrighted, and the degree symbol usually has no meaning when applied to text.

In the title text Randall attributes privacy concerns about the facial recognition feature. A picture of a face will only be used for facial recognition, but never stored on the device nor transmitted to internet. A small side effect may be that the famous selfie pictures aren't possible anymore, as well as video calls.

Transcript

Ambox notice.png This transcript is incomplete. Please help editing it! Thanks.
[A smartphone is shown, the screen is slightly wider than the case, in the middle is a photo lens, and at the right bottom a small extra part is added to the screen.]
[On top a bracket ranges nearly over the entire width of the case. The text reads:]
Full-width rear camera
[The label at the photo lens is:]
Front camera (centered for eye contact during video chat)
[The label on the extra part says:]
Extra screen
[At the bottom below the case a label reads:]
Wireless charging port
[The labels left to the phone are:]
4k pixels (50x80)
Radium backlight
Sterile packaging
College-ruled
Broad spectrum SPF 30
Pre-seasoned
Burns clean coal
Includes applicator
Fonts developed by NASA
Shroud of turn-style facial transfer unlock
High thread count CPU
Screen goes past the edge
Safe for ages 6-8 months, 10 months, 18 months-3 years, and 12 years and older
[The labels right to the phone are:]
CDC partnership: Phone automatically administers seasonal flu vaccine to cheek every year
12-function
Dishwasher safe
GPS transmitter
3-G acceleration
Portable, solar-heated
Pore-cleaning strip
Maximum strength
Never needs sharpening
Can survive up to 30 minutes out of water
Exclusive Audubon Society app identifies birds and lets you control their flight
[Text below the phone:]
Introducing
The XKCD PHONE 6, VIII, 10, X, 26, and 1876
We didn't start this nonconsecutive version number war, but we will not lose it.™®©°
comment.png add a comment! ⋅ comment.png add a topic (use sparingly)! ⋅ Icons-mini-action refresh blue.gif refresh comments!

Discussion

Hold on how can a phone use facial recognition if it doesn't store your face on the device? --172.70.35.70 21:19, 12 October 2021 (UTC)

For 'Never Needs Sharpening' I thought it was an implication that the screen that goes past the edge is sharp, but does not need the user to sharpen it. A sharp screen that extends past the edge is, naturally, an extremely inconvenient feature. 141.101.76.28 21:10, 14 September 2017 (UTC)

I tried to access http://xkcd.com/MDCCCLXXXIX but I got a "CDIV NOT FOVND" error.Taibhse (talk) 14:38, 13 September 2017 (UTC)

1876 is the year of Alexander Graham Bell's telephone patent US174465 "Improvement in telegraphy" and the "Mr. Watson, come here, I want to see you." transmission.--Laverock (talk) 15:31, 13 September 2017 (UTC)

Maybe "SPF 30" refers to how easily the phone becomes sunburned, rather than to how much protection the phone provides to you. 162.158.63.16 15:40, 13 September 2017 (UTC)

"... the phone cannot be ... inserted ... [in]to something else." Is it wrong that I know a website that disproves this? These Are Not The Comments You Are Looking For (talk)

"Never Needs Sharpening," while applicable to pencils, is more likely a reference to those crappy knives often hocked in infomercials. See the TvTropes entry of the same name: http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/NeverNeedsSharpening 172.68.133.222 16:38, 13 September 2017 (UTC)

The promotional material for xkcd Phone 5 said they refused to skip numbers!--Laverock (talk) 17:18, 13 September 2017 (UTC)

Did anyone else notice that the title text contradicts with one of the main design features of the phone? Having a front camera in the middle of the screen specifically for video calling, then claiming that the phone never transmits images of the user's face (or even restricting the phone's software/hardware such that it cannot transmit images of the user's face) is somewhat of a contradiction. 162.158.154.61 17:20, 13 September 2017 (UTC)

"We didn't start this war" reminiscent of War for the Planet of the Apes tagline? 108.162.215.238 17:25, 13 September 2017 (UTC)

I thought it might have been a small reference to "We Didn't Start the Fire" by Billy Joel? See also comics 1775 and 1794. --108.162.219.88 11:17, 14 September 2017 (UTC)

The "camera in the middle of the screen" is (hopefully) not too far away: [1] [2] Sysin (talk) 19:21, 13 September 2017 (UTC)

º or o or ° or ˚?

Which one is it at the end of the trademarked (and registered to be so), copyrighted tagline?

(Currently it's transcribed as º.)

--Das-g (talk) 20:09, 13 September 2017 (UTC)

I'm pretty sure it's the degree symbol ° because the letter before is a C for copyright or Celsius. Open the original 2x picture and you can see there is no underline like here: º. Thanks for this question. --Dgbrt (talk) 20:35, 13 September 2017 (UTC)
What's the future?

iPhone 8 followed by 9 then 10 and 11? And the phablet iPhone X followed by XI and XII? That X is pronounced ten. And what number will the next xkcd phone use (besides the 7)? --Dgbrt (talk) 21:12, 13 September 2017 (UTC)

The iPhone X is not a Phablet. It is "smaller" than the iPhone 8 Plus (see https://www.apple.com/iphone/compare/) and only slightly larger than the iPhone 8. And they're calling it the iPhone X (ten) because it is a step forward. Presumably the next phone will be the 11, unless they choose to go with a digit after the X, following OSX's approach. --Rand (talk) 22:18, 13 September 2017 (UTC)
Phablet was wrong, but that's what I've found at the first documentations. But for sure the next phone will not be 11, probably again two products, maybe then 9 and XL... --Dgbrt (talk) 23:39, 13 September 2017 (UTC)
I'm wondering if the iphone is meant to be the Iphone "Ex" or "Ten" - a la OSX (which should be OS Ten, not Oh Es Ex) 162.158.154.55 07:27, 14 September 2017 (UTC)
Citation needed

Is this template still that funny that it's worth to mention it more often then the existing numbers of Google Chrome versions? I say this isn't funny anymore for a long time[citation needed]. --Dgbrt (talk) 21:31, 13 September 2017 (UTC)

Non-consecutive numbers joke

The joke in the title text is that Apple just jumped from iPhone 8 to iPhone 10.

The joke needs to be explained somewhere in the text. Dgbrt reverted my edit in such a way that the joke is no longer explained.

Please fix.--Rand (talk) 22:13, 13 September 2017 (UTC)

In case anyone doubts the joke: If I type "why did a" into Google, it autofills to "why did apple skip iphone 9". A lot of people are asking this question. Randall, meanwhile, is making fun of Apple for skipping iPhone 9. --Rand (talk) 22:24, 13 September 2017 (UTC)
Here's somebody else making a similar joke at Apple's expense: http://ew.com/news/2017/09/12/in-memoriam-iphone-9/--Rand (talk) 22:26, 13 September 2017 (UTC)

OMG, iPhone 8 and iPhone X were released at the same time. There is no current phone existing which follows iPhone 8 and there may be a iPhone 9 in the future. The X is pronounced ten but that phone is not the successor of the iPhone 8. Until now Microsoft is the one company who omitted the version number 9. To claim this on Apple we still have to wait for the next phone.--Dgbrt (talk) 23:13, 13 September 2017 (UTC)

No, in order to know with certainty that Apple skipped a version number (as opposed to releasing a ten followed by a nine) we would need to wait for the next phone. In order to joke about it... well, half the internet is already making that joke: https://www.bustle.com/p/iphone-9-memes-jokes-pay-homage-to-the-forgotten-generation-2343796. And yes, Randall Munroe is also making that joke.--Rand (talk) 23:20, 13 September 2017 (UTC)
Of course people are joking. But it's still only Microsoft omitting the 9. Randall jokes about this by presenting the xkcd phone VIII, and many other names, for the same major features. --Dgbrt (talk) 23:30, 13 September 2017 (UTC)
They're joking about skipping the iPhone 9. Randall refers to nonconsecutive version numbers: that is, version numbers that skip. There's no ambiguity here. The graceful thing for you to do here would be to undo your revision, improving the language if necessary. If you're not willing to, I'll let others handle the edit warring / making the consensus clear.--Rand (talk) 00:08, 14 September 2017 (UTC)

The best I could find for what "26" is referencing in the context of version skipping is Linux kernel 2.6, which was the last in the old versioning scheme of "evens stable, odds development" before they moved to version 3.0 which used a different scheme. If you search in the context of phones the current Android API version for 8.0 Oreo is 26, but there was no version skip there. Both theories are weak, so does anyone have another idea? 173.245.51.35 14:12, 14 September 2017 (UTC)

26 could refer to the number of letters in the alphabet. The 26th letter is "Z," which seems appropriate given that the previous "number" shown is "X," as if to suggest that "Y" was skipped in a sense, or that the numbering system suddenly decided to jump to the last number in a sequence for no reason. --162.158.78.40 19:39, 14 September 2017 (UTC)

This explanation makes the most sense. iPhone X pronounced "ten" could be followed by Y, then Z. Twisting this, it becomes iPhone 26 pronounced "zee". 162.158.74.201 12:52, 15 September 2017 (UTC)

Shroud of turin style facial transfer means you'd have to press the phone against your face until somehow an impression of your face was registered, in the same way as an imprint of oils(?) from a face is left on the turin shroud. This is more amusing, and ridiculous, than the current explanation. 141.101.99.233 05:13, 14 September 2017 (UTC)

The war of nonconsecutive numbering goes back to 1999 at least, as Slackware jumped from Version 4.0 to 7.0 because other distros had been iterating version numbers quicker, and Patrick Volkerding wanted to catch up: http://www.slackware.com/faq/do_faq.php?faq=general#0 162.158.34.76 12:48, 14 September 2017 (UTC)

Agree that this was most certainly a reference to slack. While it may be true that no one is doing consecutive versions anymore, the wording couldn't possibly feel more like a jab at slack (who's wording couldn't possibly be more obviously a jab at the other distros) 108.162.237.58 21:00, 24 April 2021 (UTC)

isn't "dishwasher safe" another waterproofing joke? one of the the reasons that Apple gave for removing all the ports (apart from "because we hate you") was to allow the phones to be sealed and therefore properly waterproof. the whole 1m/30mins thing is put into the shade by 50 degrees for 3 hours, no? --Misterstick (talk) 13:12, 14 September 2017 (UTC)

High thread count CPU

There is a therm called "CPU-Threads", which is the number of parallel processes in the CPU. (e.g. 4-Core + hyper-threading (x2) = 8 CPU-Threads) --172.68.51.136 18:45, 14 September 2017 (UTC)

I am amazed that people here missed the most obvious joke in this. It's no about matresses , it's about advertising the number of cores in a smartphone (dual core, quad core and even recently 16 core?). A high thread count CPU is not actually any faster, nor really better at parallelization if a task already uses all resources. --108.162.210.224 05:22, 16 April 2020 (UTC) --

Pre-seasoned

Is also used for Steaks (and some other ingredients) sold already seasoned. (Bot is less compliant with solar heating) --172.68.51.136 18:49, 14 September 2017 (UTC)

Extra screen

There are already phones with a small rectangular extra screen, although on the top instead of the bottom. e.g. LG V10, LG X screen. It is used for additional buttons and always-on notifications there. I think the first Samsung phones with edged screen also used this as a second screen with addition controls. A Screen on the bottom wouldnt be much worse.--162.158.89.205 09:33, 18 September 2017 (UTC)

I second this interpretation. There is a play on words with "extra screen" meaning either "an additional screen" or "more screen" 172.68.65.18 14:33, 18 September 2017 (UTC)