2197: Game Show
|2198: Throw is up --> Delete this line when the buttons work again!|
Title text: Eventually they agreed to "an auto-retracting dog leash with one end clipped to your house, so you can press the button on the handle and water-ski home."
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Many shows have situations where the participants are asked hypothetical questions. A common hypothetical question asked to ascertain what someone considers most important to them is the one item they would take to a deserted island -- to make the best of a boring situation.
Black Hat is on such a game show, and he does his best to undermine the intent of the question. Instead of answering with a favorite item -- such as his favorite album or book -- he lists various things (see below) that would (arguably) help him escape the island, thereby undermining the point of the question. These items would either bring him back home (e.g. a boat, a plane), might help him be found (e.g., the Crown Jewels, Earth's north magnetic pole), or a wacky combination of both (e.g. the Atlantic Ocean).
The title text reveals that the game show has ultimately acquiesced to one of Black Hat's wishes in a way: the dog leash mentioned would allow him to water-ski home, though such a dog leash is implausible (for example, a dog leash from San Francisco to Hawaii would be over 2000 miles long).
List of Black Hat's items
- A boat, so he could sail home.
- A plane, so he could fly home.
- Amelia Earhart's plane, so he could be famous. She was a female U.S. aviator who went missing in the middle of the Pacific Ocean on an attempt to circumnavigate earth. Her crash site has been searched for for years, and there's still keen interest in finding her -- and coming up with interesting new ideas to guess where she crashed. This answer is a funny continuation of Black Hat's 2nd answer, a plane. Black Hat doesn't just want any plane, he wants a plane that was famous for going down in a unknown spot in the ocean. He's saying he would like his deserted island to be located where her plane went down, implicitly letting him be the first person to find her plane.
- Amelia Earhart's skeleton, so he could be famous for finding it -- or searched for. Since there's such interest in finding her crash site, if he has her skeleton -- which is a little creepy, but sure, why not -- he might benefit from these search parties, and they would find him in the process.
- The internal structure of The Statue of Liberty was designed by Gustave Eiffel, best known for his work on the Eiffel Tower. This is a continuation of the skeleton answer, as it's also something that the world would search for. Having it would help him be found, since if it went missing from the actual Statue of Liberty -- magically transported to Black Hat's island -- the skin of the statue would collapse (which would be a funny sight to behold) and there would be worldwide interest in finding out where it went, thus aiding in Black Hat getting rescued from the island. Stealing something of this magnitude seems like something Carmen Sandiego might try to do. This might also be a reference to the scene from the 1968 movie Planet of the Apes in which (Spoiler Alert) at the end of the movie the protagonist realizes he's on earth after all when he sees the half-sunk wreckage of the Statue of Liberty on a beach.
- The Crown Jewels of the United Kingdom, so he would be rescued -- or at least rich. The Crown Jewels are ceremonial objects owned by the kings and queens of the UK. The items are kept under heavy guard and are valued at about $4 billion, so if they were magically transported to Black Hat's desert island, the British military would be likely to find them -- and him. And if they didn't, he'd now control the most valuable jewels in the world (though it might be hard to sell them).
- The entire television audience for the show, so it wouldn't be deserted anymore -- and potentially to punish them for being entertained at the mean idea of having contestents be deserted on an island. If this is a popular channel/show, this could potentially be millions of people, all who have at least been exposed to the idea of how best to making the most of a boring situation. Then at least it would no longer be a deserted island, but of course it would be even more difficult to survive. The answer is similar to the action movie cliche, "If I'm going down, I'm taking you with me."
- The Greenland ice sheet is the body of ice covering the island of Greenland. As the second largest ice sheet on Earth, it would turn the deserted island into, well, Greenland, thus making it much easier to find. Also, it would be pretty funny for Greenland to be instantly relocated. This may also be a reference to the remarks from American President Trump in August 2019 when he suggested he'd like to buy Greenland from Denmark, which were generally received as a bit odd.
- Earth's north magnetic pole, so that all compasses would point to his location. The magnetic pole is the point on earth that all compasses point towards because of the magnetohydrodynamic (magic) forces in the earth's mantle. If all compasses were to suddenly point to his location, many scientists would investigate, and they would coverge on his deserted island, and Black Hat would be rescued.
- The Atlantic Ocean, so that he could drift back to land. The Atlantic Ocean is the ocean left behind by the split of North America and Afroeurasia. If it could somehow be poured over a deserted island in the pacific, the water would run right back to its original ocean bed, thus bringing Black Hat back toward some kind of landmass -- letting him be rescued -- and probably causing huge flooding on all Pacific coasts and general global havoc on Earth's ecosystem, all for the purposes of Black Hat surfing thousands of miles to shore on the largest wave ever seen.
- [Cueball, Black Hat, and Megan are game show contestants standing behind lecterns with Hairy standing in front of them as the game show host. Black Hat, standing in the middle of the three is holding a finger up while speaking.]
- Black Hat: A boat. A plane. Amelia Earhart's plane. Amelia Earhart's skeleton. The Statue of Liberty's internal support frame. The Crown Jewels. This show's entire television audience. The Greenland ice sheet. Earth's north magnetic pole.
- Black Hat: Am I in the Pacific Ocean?
- Black Hat: If so, the Atlantic Ocean.
- Hairy: Uhh.
- Hairy: Our producers are going to need some time on this one.
- [Caption below the panel:]
- The game show realized that they should have added some restrictions to their "take any item to a deserted island" challenge, but it was too late.
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