2649: Physics Cost-Saving Tips

Explain xkcd: It's 'cause you're dumb.
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Physics Cost-Saving Tips
I got banned from the county fair for handing out Helium-2 balloons. Apparently the instant massive plasma explosions violated some local ordinance or something.
Title text: I got banned from the county fair for handing out Helium-2 balloons. Apparently the instant massive plasma explosions violated some local ordinance or something.

Explanation

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The title text refers to Helium-2, an isotope of helium with a half-life of less than a nanosecond. It fissions into two protons, releasing a large amount of energy - hence the explosion mentioned in the text.

Transcript

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Physics cost-savings tips
Try replacing regular vectors with pseudovectors whenever possible
A square wave can be broken down into an infinite supply of valuable sine waves
Cut waste by buying lighter isotopes that don't have any dead-weight neutrons
Conductors are a great source of free electrons (may carry charges)
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Discussion

I don't recommend trying to make your voice squeeky by breathing He-2. Barmar (talk) 19:57, 22 July 2022 (UTC)

But breathing a helium-rich mixture in general... so long as it still has sufficient oxygen in it ...I would speak highly of it! 162.158.34.221 20:27, 22 July 2022 (UTC)

Please link comic 2007. I tried to do so myself but the edit errored.172.70.86.34 22:17, 22 July 2022 (UTC)

The vandals are going rather hard today. Can we get the first few semi-protected or something please? SqueakSquawk4 (talk) 22:24, 22 July 2022 (UTC)

I think I've fixed it. At least, it was fixed when I left this comment. I also don't do much wiki editing on anything, so I hope I actually fixed it and didn't break anything in the process. EDIT: Not sure if editing comments is appropriate, but it's just before 7AM UTC and it seems the vandalism has stopped. I think I had to fix it twice after I originally left this comment NErDysprosium (talk) 06:37, 23 July 2022 (UTC)
They're back. Semi-protecting may work (though at a cost in useful edits); if any of the major contributors to this site know tricks to track down the physical location of an editing IP, that might open up other approaches. 172.70.230.3 03:33, 24 July 2022 (UTC)
They're going after templates and similar infrastructure pages. Banning the little klanshit's username would be a good first action. 172.69.71.30 03:40, 24 July 2022 (UTC)

Are the "charges" that free electrons carry implied to be monetary or criminal? 162.158.2.219 22:27, 22 July 2022 (UTC)

Fundamental particles have dipole-matic immunity. 172.70.211.88 01:47, 23 July 2022 (UTC)

Somone needs to rewrite that section on heavy water / enriched uranium... deuterium in heavy water has more neutrons (so fits the comics description), and u235 is actually neither the lower nor upper neutron count for natural uranium so also questionably fits the description. I would but my head hurts after trying to parse it 108.162.221.79 11:20, 23 July 2022 (UTC)

Is it worth mentioning the L and omega displayed in the first illustration are in conflicting directions (not following the right hand rule…)?172.70.210.145

How sinister! 172.70.91.80 19:28, 23 July 2022 (UTC)
Done, including a video proving Randall is right-handed, so that can't be the reason. 172.70.206.163 07:45, 24 July 2022 (UTC)

I disagree with the calculation of the energy of the ²He filled balloon: ²He -> H + H + 1.25MeV (Wikipedia). One Balloon is approx. 30-40l, i.e. approx 2 moles = 2 Avogadro Number = 1.2e24 Atoms of ²He. This means 1.2e24*1.25MeV = 1.9E24MeV = 3e11J = 71 ton of TNT (@4.2e9J/ ton of TNT (Wikipedia)). That is much less than a kiloton of TNT, but probably above the limit for recreational fireworks. The balloon might pop, too.

Agreed; corrected. 172.70.211.88 09:15, 24 July 2022 (UTC)
I have done my own calculations, and come to a number of roughly 18 tons of TNT. I have put my calculations on my profile, and linked it. Please comment there if you disagree. Thanks! SqueakSquawk4 (talk) 13:37, 24 July 2022 (UTC)

The statement "This would make the Helium-2 balloon-bomb the most powerful human-made non-nuclear explosion ever" would seem to be inaccurate, given that it is not actually a non-nuclear explosion. Should this be edited? 172.70.110.135 03:43, 24 July 2022 (UTC)

Deleted the sentence. 172.70.211.88 04:43, 24 July 2022 (UTC)

How much yield would a Helium-2 baloon have, anyway? I've seen "Lots", "2 kilotonnes" and "70 tonnes". Does anyone know how to calculate it once and for all, and leave a citation trail?

I just had a small search around, and can't seem to find the decay energy of helium-2. Does anyone even know how to calculate this???} SqueakSquawk4 (talk) 11:24, 24 July 2022 (UTC)

Scroll up a couple threads. 172.69.34.32 11:02, 24 July 2022 (UTC)
I didn't see that. I'm doing my own calculations now anyway. SqueakSquawk4 (talk) 11:24, 24 July 2022 (UTC)
I have done my own calculations, and come to a number of roughly 18 tons of TNT. I have put my calculations on my profile, and linked it. Please comment there if you disagree. Thanks! SqueakSquawk4 (talk) 13:37, 24 July 2022 (UTC)
Great! I replied to you there. 172.70.207.8 14:40, 24 July 2022 (UTC)

Fantastic what-if on electrons. I love the idea that making the moon out of electrons would create a naked singularity with the mass of the universe. 172.70.211.134 07:47, 26 July 2022 (UTC)

Dear Simulation Operator(s), please do not try that. 172.70.211.134 08:45, 28 July 2022 (UTC)

Could the title text potentially be a play on "ordinance" and "ordnance" (the latter of which refers to explosions)? 172.69.34.18 21:58, 31 August 2022 (UTC)