2655: Asking Scientists Questions

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Asking Scientists Questions

Title text: 'Does the substance feel weird to the touch?' is equally likely to get the answers 'Don't be ridiculous, you would never put your hand near a sample. We have safety protocols.' and 'Yeah, and it tastes AWFUL.'

Explanation

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This is a comic about scientists.^{[citation needed]}

Transcript

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[Caption above the panels, in lighter gray:]

For the last few years, I've been working on answering peoples' ridiculous questions for What If? 2, which sometimes meant asking scientists for help.

[Left panel top caption:]

How you'd expect scientists to respond to ridiculous questions:

[Cueball stands holding pad and pencil in front of a desk. Hairbun is seated behind the desk, pointing at Cueball.]

Hairbun: Why would you present me with this frivolous scenario?

Such an absurd query can serve no practical purpose.

Now go; you distract me from my formulas.

[Right panel top caption:]

How they actually respond:

[Cueball stands holding pad and pencil in front of a desk. Hairbun is seated behind the desk while holding a stack of papers.]

Hairbun: Oh thank God, something fun to think about that's not grant applications.

Hey, do you want to fill out some grant applications? I'll give you literally anything. Coauthor credit. Powerful magnets. Do you want plutonium? I can get you plutonium.

What was your name again?

[Caption below the panel, in lighter gray:]

To see the answers I found, preorder at xkcd.com/whatif2 (out 9/13)

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Discussion

I am of three minds. Part of me wants to write a basic explanation to get us started. Part of me is worried I'll lay a terrible foundation. And part of me doesn't want to get rid of "This is a comic about scientists.^{[citation needed]}" without memorializing it first. GreatWyrmGold (talk) 22:12, 5 August 2022 (UTC)

That was cute, but your relocated ^{[citation needed]} is a fine replacement. Barmar (talk) 22:37, 5 August 2022 (UTC)

Considering "tastes awful", I'm a chemist and know an old recipe for amalgam-related stuff, quote, "...the reaction is over when the stuff doesn't taste metallic anymore". mode=Homer "Mmmmh, mercury!" 172.71.94.187 07:52, 6 August 2022 (UTC)

The first line of the explanation contains the word 'blag' in parenthesis. I don't know this word and the translations that dic.cc give are 'badly behaving child' and 'armed robbery' which don't make sense in this context. Can someone explain, please? Flukx (talk) 08:37, 6 August 2022 (UTC) "Blag" is an alternate spelling of "blog" to suggest that's it's not a mere blog, but something more special. 172.70.126.81 10:54, 6 August 2022 (UTC)

Also an in joke reference to 148: Mispronouncing. 172.70.207.8 19:21, 6 August 2022 (UTC)

And 181: Interblag Elektrizikekswerk (talk) 15:53, 8 August 2022 (UTC)

Can we solve the science funding crisis by telling scientists about Fiverr? 172.70.210.183 (talk) 14:24, 6 August 2022 (please sign your comments with ~~~~)

No. You underestimate the amount of funds scientists need. Remember that the Not-as-large-as-described Hadron Collider has budget €7.5 billion and reasonable Space Telescope costs $10 billion. While mathematics only need pencil, paper and eraser (and philosophers don't even need the eraser), most scientists could easily spent any amount of money received. -- Hkmaly (talk) 03:52, 7 August 2022 (UTC)

Even mathematics need something to eat and a house they can stay in while it rains outside. Kimmerin (talk) 09:09, 12 August 2022 (UTC)

I just have to say that "mathematics only needs (a) pencil, etc...", like grammar needs subject-verb agreement (singular noun, despite the 's', but let's not get into the "math/maths" shortening debate). And "mathematicians need something to eat...", just because they're living people who get hungry like anyone else.^{[citation needed]}

Though, being pedantic, I should also point out that the pencil/etc really is optional (if not an impediment) in many cases, at least until you need to set your thoughts down more permanently/portably. ;) 141.101.99.242 11:04, 12 August 2022 (UTC)

This is an impressively lengthy explanation for a comic that is essentially self-explanatory - was someone in the middle of writing a grant application when it landed? 172.70.85.5 08:20, 8 August 2022 (UTC)

I can definitely speak to the grant application situation - I didn't realize most professors / researchers are struggling with funding related work year-round if not on daily basis, until I was actually involved in the process. Fair to say when I got lucky and got a grant for a 4-professor collaboration project, my PHD degree got a LOT smoother.

Why does "eating a bizarre substance is likely a bad idea" need a citation?

Am I the only one who noticed the implication that grant applications are one of the things that are fun?