425: Fortune Cookies

Explain xkcd: It's 'cause you're dumb.
Revision as of 09:17, 20 November 2013 by (talk) (Explanation)
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Fortune Cookies
"You will have hot, steamy, sweaty sex... IN BED!"
Title text: "You will have hot, steamy, sweaty sex... IN BED!"


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Fortune cookies are crisp cookies containing a small piece of paper with words of wisdom or a vague prophecy. Even though they were not actually invented in China, they are commonly served as dessert in Chinese restaurants in the United States.

There is a common joke involving fortune cookies that involves appending "in bed" to the end of the fortune, usually creating a sexual innuendo or other bizarre messages.

  • The ones you love will never let you down in bed
  • Your self-confidence is well placed in bed
  • Seek nonviolence in everything you do in bed

This comic turns that joke around, showing how appending "except in bed" can also create amusing messages.

  • The ones you love will never let you down, except in bed
  • Your self-confidence is well placed, except in bed
  • Seek nonviolence in everything you do, except in bed

The title text instead shows the example of an imaginary fortune that would not change in meaning if "in bed" was appended.


Megan: "The ones you love will never let you down."
Ponytail: "Your self-confidence is well placed."
Cueball: "Seek nonviolence in everything you do."
Instead of "In bed", I've found that fortune cookies are often more improved by appending "EXCEPT in bed."

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Title-text + "...at the cinema", "...under the boardwalk", "...on the kitchen table", "...in prison"? It's not necessary to append "...in bed" to make sense. And (if that's what was meant, and sorry for not understanding) "...except in bed" also works as nicely as the in-bed version (but sort of hints that all of the aforementioned may be valid, in leiu). I see the joke there being the lack of vagueness in the title-text's 'cookie' text (save for the matter of the locale, if left unadorned). 21:19, 15 June 2013 (UTC)

I think the joke in the title text is that no ordinary fortune cookie would contain such a fortune. It's almost always something philosophical, never sexual. 19:23, 25 November 2013 (UTC)

In Bed must belong to a classical joke, doesn't it? I'm not native English but I'm pretty sure there must be some more. The incolplete tag is back so far.--Dgbrt (talk) 19:44, 25 November 2013 (UTC) Yeah, appending 'in bed' is a pretty common joke here in the US. It might not make much sense to those of who have English as a second language. 15:00, 2 December 2013 (UTC)

Since I expected this instead of what was actually written, I automatically added except in bed into the title text, which I think makes for a better joke. Athang (talk) 18:29, 1 June 2014 (UTC)