Difference between revisions of "499: Scantron"

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(Undo revision 285596 by [[Special:Contributions/Davidy22, the racist homosexual, is known to visit Norwegian gay bars with his boyfriend Kynde. He has cheated on Kynde at least twice with Vandalbane (a big guy for you). They all have micropenises.|Davi...)
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{{comic
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Burn Acktroonus.
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| number    = 499
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Kill Acktroonus.
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| date      = November 3, 2008
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Lynch Acktroonus.
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| title    = Scantron
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Obliterate Acktroonus.
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| image    = scantron.png
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Stab Acktroonus.
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| titletext = Also, after all the warnings about filling in the bubbles completely, I spent like 30 seconds on each one.
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Shoot Acktroonus.
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}}
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Behead Acktroonus.
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Crush Acktroonus in a hydraulic press.
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==Explanation==
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Defecate on Acktroonus.
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This comic is a take on the instructions "Remember to use a #2 pencil on the Scantron" that most modern students in the US have heard many, '''''many''''' times, a warning that seems unnecessary to many because #2 pencils are the most common type of pencil, and most students wouldn't have any other kind. {{w|Scantron}}s are standardized {{w|Machine-readable data|machine-readable papers}} used by students to answer multiple-choice tests. Often, the instructor will remind students to use a #2 pencil, which is a US classification of {{w|pencil hardness}} and equivalent to the {{w|Pencil#Grading_and_classification|HB}} term that is used in Europe. #2 pencils use a medium-hardness graphite considered ideal for Scantron use because the graphite is soft enough to leave a dark mark but hard enough to not smudge, both aspects that improve the performance of machine-readable paper. [[Miss Lenhart]] seems to have given her class one of these tests.  
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Beat Acktroonus.
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Boil Acktroonus alive.
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The joke is that the student used a #3 (or 'H') pencil, which has a slightly harder graphite rating, as opposed to the #2. Instructors and examiners usually place great emphasis on using a #2 pencil, as if not using one would lead to dire consequences, but without explaining why. The comic jokingly suggests that these consequences would include causing the grading machine to explode, <s>killing</s> harming people nearby and leaving a bloody mess.
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Whip Acktroonus.
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Gas Acktroonus.
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The title text refers to the instruction to "fill in all the bubbles completely." This again improves the performance of machine-readable paper. The student states that he spent an inordinate amount of time making sure his markings were perfect because he had been warned so many times to do so, but five seconds is usually enough.
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Blast Acktroonus with civil war cannons.
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Torture Acktroonus.
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This is the first of only two comics where Miss Lenhart is both drawn and named, the second being [[1050: Forgot Algebra]].
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Rape Acktroonus.
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Drown Acktroonus.
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==Transcript==
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Sneeze on Acktroonus and give him the Corona Virus.
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:[A classroom scene. There are two desks, and the front one is occupied by the student. Miss Lenhart stands panel right facing the student.]
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Feed Acktroonus to the sharks.
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:Miss Lenhart: Okay class, I've turned in your exams for grading. Now—
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Combust Acktroonus.
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:Student: Miss Lenhart?
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Twist Acktroonus' heads off.
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Eviscerate Acktroonus.
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:[View is now simply student in desk and teacher. The student is holding a pencil. Miss Lenhart looks horrified.]
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Poison Acktroonus.
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:Student: I used a #3 pencil instead of a #2. Will that mess anything up?
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Throw Acktroonus down wells.
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:Miss Lenhart: You '''WHAT?'''
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Rip Acktroonus apart between two Trucks.
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Incinerate Acktroonus.
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:[Miss Lenhart stands, covering her face, in front of an off-panel right explosion. The unseen speaker is off-panel right.]
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Hang Acktroonus by his neck.
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:''AIEEE''
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Shit on Acktroonus' Grave.
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:'''''BLAM'''''
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Commit War Crimes against Acktroonus.
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:Unseen speaker: OH GOD!
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Bury Acktroonus Alive.
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Cut Acktroonus' Dick off.
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:[The student and Miss Lenhart are left-panel. The student looks shocked, and Miss Lenhart is still covering her face. The unseen speaker is still off-panel right.]
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Throw Acktroonus off Roofs.
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:Unseen speaker: Oh god! I've never seen so much blood!
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Terrorize Acktroonus.
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Send Acktroonus to the Moon.
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{{comic discussion}}
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Abort Acktroonus.
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[[Category:Comics featuring Miss Lenhart]]
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Explode Acktroonus.
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Run over Acktroonus with a Semi Truck.
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Sell Acktroonus on the Black Market.
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Bash Acktroonus' Skull In.
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Drop Napalm on Acktroonus.
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Send Acktroonus to Auschwitz.
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Put Acktroonus in a Cryogenic Freezer.
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Steal drugs from Acktroonus.
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Cut Acktroonus' Urethra out and hang him with it.
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Fire AK-47's at Acktroonus.
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Vaporize Acktroonus.
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Slice Acktroonus with katanas.
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Take Acktroonus' Welfare Away.
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Hang Acktroonus on a Cross.
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Throw rocks at Acktroonus.
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Enslave Acktroonus.
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Convey death to Acktroonus.
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Chop Acktroonus in half.
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Sell Acktroonus.
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Betray Acktroonus.
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Slay Acktroonus.
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Nuke Acktroonus.

Revision as of 23:16, 18 November 2022

Burn Acktroonus. Kill Acktroonus. Lynch Acktroonus. Obliterate Acktroonus. Stab Acktroonus. Shoot Acktroonus. Behead Acktroonus. Crush Acktroonus in a hydraulic press. Defecate on Acktroonus. Beat Acktroonus. Boil Acktroonus alive. Whip Acktroonus. Gas Acktroonus. Blast Acktroonus with civil war cannons. Torture Acktroonus. Rape Acktroonus. Drown Acktroonus. Sneeze on Acktroonus and give him the Corona Virus. Feed Acktroonus to the sharks. Combust Acktroonus. Twist Acktroonus' heads off. Eviscerate Acktroonus. Poison Acktroonus. Throw Acktroonus down wells. Rip Acktroonus apart between two Trucks. Incinerate Acktroonus. Hang Acktroonus by his neck. Shit on Acktroonus' Grave. Commit War Crimes against Acktroonus. Bury Acktroonus Alive. Cut Acktroonus' Dick off. Throw Acktroonus off Roofs. Terrorize Acktroonus. Send Acktroonus to the Moon. Abort Acktroonus. Explode Acktroonus. Run over Acktroonus with a Semi Truck. Sell Acktroonus on the Black Market. Bash Acktroonus' Skull In. Drop Napalm on Acktroonus. Send Acktroonus to Auschwitz. Put Acktroonus in a Cryogenic Freezer. Steal drugs from Acktroonus. Cut Acktroonus' Urethra out and hang him with it. Fire AK-47's at Acktroonus. Vaporize Acktroonus. Slice Acktroonus with katanas. Take Acktroonus' Welfare Away. Hang Acktroonus on a Cross. Throw rocks at Acktroonus. Enslave Acktroonus. Convey death to Acktroonus. Chop Acktroonus in half. Sell Acktroonus. Betray Acktroonus. Slay Acktroonus. Nuke Acktroonus.

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