Editing 887: Future Timeline
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==Transcript== | ==Transcript== | ||
+ | |||
+ | {{incomplete transcript | lineless table is still a table }} | ||
:<big>'''THE FUTURE'''</big> | :<big>'''THE FUTURE'''</big> | ||
Line 926: | Line 928: | ||
::Car accidents cease | ::Car accidents cease | ||
::West coast falls into ocean | ::West coast falls into ocean | ||
− | : | + | : |
− | + | :{| | |
− | + | |- | |
− | + | |rowspan="3" valign="top"|2027 | |
− | + | |Japan introduces new fastest Maglev train | |
− | + | |- | |
− | + | |Lyndon Larouche-planned Mars colony is established | |
− | + | |- | |
− | + | |Social Security stops running surplus | |
− | + | |- | |
− | + | |rowspan="4" valign="top"|2028 | |
− | + | |Tobacco outlawed | |
− | + | |- | |
− | + | |40% of coral reefs gone | |
− | + | |- | |
− | + | |US debt paid off | |
− | + | |- | |
− | + | |Social Security stops running surplus | |
− | + | |- | |
− | + | |rowspan="4" valign="top"|2029 | |
− | + | |Social Security trust fund exhausted | |
− | + | |- | |
− | + | |Computers pass the Turing test | |
− | + | |- | |
− | + | |Aging reversed | |
− | + | |- | |
− | + | |Wikipedia reaches 30 Million articles | |
− | + | |- | |
− | + | |rowspan="3" valign="top"|2030 | |
− | + | |Half of Amazon rain forest lost to logging | |
− | + | |- | |
− | + | |Cancer deaths double from 2008 levels | |
− | + | |- | |
− | + | |Arctic ice-free in summer | |
− | + | |- | |
− | + | |rowspan="3" valign="top"|2031 | |
− | + | |Computers controlled by thought | |
− | + | |- | |
− | + | |Realtors replaced by technology | |
− | + | |- | |
− | + | |Social Security trust fund exhausted | |
− | + | |- | |
− | + | |rowspan="3" valign="top"|2032 | |
− | + | |"Big One" hits San Francisco | |
− | + | |- | |
− | + | |US elects first married lesbian President | |
− | + | |- | |
− | + | |Entire world converted to Christianity | |
− | + | |- | |
− | + | |rowspan="3" valign="top"|2033 | |
− | + | |Kilimanjaro ice disappears | |
− | + | |- | |
− | + | |India becomes superpower | |
− | + | |- | |
− | + | |Europe reaches Mars | |
− | + | |- | |
− | + | |rowspan="2" valign="top"|2034 | |
− | + | |US diabetes cases double, treatment costs triple | |
− | + | |- | |
− | + | |US builds autonomous robot army | |
− | + | |- | |
− | + | |rowspan="3" valign="top"|2035 | |
− | + | |80% of America's energy comes from renewable sources | |
− | + | |- | |
− | + | |Himalayan glaciers down 80% in size | |
− | + | |- | |
− | + | |Arctic sea lane opens | |
− | + | |- | |
− | + | |rowspan="2" valign="top"|2036 | |
− | + | |80% of US has access to high-speed rail | |
− | + | |- | |
− | + | |Asteroid Apophis misses/hits Earth | |
− | + | |- | |
− | + | |rowspan="2" valign="top"|2037 | |
− | + | |Arctic ice-free in September | |
− | + | |- | |
− | + | |Social Security trust fund exhausted | |
− | + | |- | |
− | + | |rowspan="2" valign="top"|2038 | |
− | + | |32-bit timestamps roll over, causing Y2K-level chaos | |
− | + | |- | |
− | + | |"Big One" hits California | |
− | + | |- | |
− | + | |rowspan="3" valign="top"|2039 | |
− | + | |US population hits 400 Million | |
− | + | |- | |
− | + | |Severe heat waves become commonplace | |
− | + | |- | |
− | + | |Scientology becomes majority religion in US | |
− | + | |- | |
− | + | |rowspan="2" valign="top"|2040 | |
− | + | |Arctic summers ice-free | |
− | + | |- | |
− | + | |Nanotechnology makes humans immortal | |
− | + | |- | |
− | + | |rowspan="1" valign="top"|2041 | |
− | + | |Social Security trust fund exhausted | |
− | + | |- | |
− | + | |rowspan="1" valign="top"|2042 | |
− | + | | | |
− | + | |- | |
− | + | |rowspan="1" valign="top"|2043 | |
− | + | |World population passes 9 Billion | |
− | + | |- | |
− | + | |rowspan="2" valign="top"|2044 | |
− | + | |Mankind genetically engineered to be happy | |
− | + | |- | |
− | + | |Childhood obesity reaches 100% | |
− | + | |- | |
− | + | |rowspan="1" valign="top"|2045 | |
− | + | |Humans and machines merge | |
− | + | |- | |
− | + | |rowspan="1" valign="top"|2046 | |
− | + | |World's natural resources depleted | |
− | + | |- | |
− | + | |rowspan="3" valign="top"|2047 | |
− | + | |World ruled by banks and corporations | |
− | + | |- | |
− | + | |Tobacco industry fails | |
− | + | |- | |
− | + | |US begins using autonomous attack drones | |
− | + | |- | |
− | + | |rowspan="3" valign="top"|2048 | |
− | + | |Salt-water fish extinct from overfishing | |
− | + | |- | |
− | + | |Unisex bathing suits cover body from shoulder to ankle | |
− | + | |- | |
− | + | |Entire US population overweight | |
− | + | |- | |
− | + | |rowspan="3" valign="top"|2049 | |
− | + | |$1.000 computer exceeds computational ability of humanity | |
− | + | |- | |
− | + | |Singularity occurs | |
− | + | |- | |
− | + | |Fishing industry collapses | |
− | + | |- | |
− | + | |rowspan="5" valign="top"|2050 | |
− | + | |80% of Earth's population lives in urban centers | |
− | + | |- | |
− | + | |China controls space | |
− | + | |- | |
− | + | |Sex with robots possible | |
− | + | |- | |
− | + | |Cars banned from European cities | |
− | + | |- | |
− | + | |One million species extinct from climate change | |
− | + | |- | |
− | + | |rowspan="1" valign="top"|2051 | |
− | + | |Atmosphere escapes into space | |
− | + | |- | |
− | + | |rowspan="1" valign="top"|2052 | |
− | + | |Medicare, Medicaid, and Social Security spending exceed total US revenue | |
− | + | |- | |
− | + | |rowspan="3" valign="top"|2053 | |
− | + | |US budget balanced | |
− | + | |- | |
− | + | |Majority of Americans in prison | |
− | + | |- | |
− | + | |Cars driven by dogs | |
− | + | |- | |
− | + | |rowspan="1" valign="top"|2054 | |
− | + | |Hunger becomes unimaginable global problem | |
− | + | |- | |
− | + | |rowspan="3" valign="top"|2055 | |
− | + | |Atmospheric CO<sub>2</sub> doubled | |
− | + | |- | |
− | + | |Oil runs out | |
− | + | |- | |
− | + | |Copper, tin, lead, gold, and nickel all exhausted | |
− | + | |- | |
− | + | |rowspan="2" valign="top"|2056 | |
− | + | |RFID-tagged driverless cars | |
− | + | |- | |
− | + | |Robots given same rights as humans | |
− | + | |- | |
− | + | |rowspan="2" valign="top"|2057 | |
− | + | |150 Japanese settlers on Mars | |
− | + | |- | |
− | + | |Colorado River runs dry | |
− | + | |- | |
− | + | |rowspan="1" valign="top"|2058 | |
− | + | |Smoking ends in New Zealand | |
− | + | |- | |
− | + | |rowspan="1" valign="top"|2059 | |
− | + | |Humans have domesticated robots | |
− | + | |- | |
− | + | |rowspan="4" valign="top"|2060 | |
− | + | |Human race lives in peace | |
− | + | |- | |
− | + | |Extreme droughts across much of Earth | |
− | + | |- | |
− | + | |Global temperature rise reaches 4 °C | |
− | + | |- | |
− | + | |Oil runs out again | |
− | + | |- | |
− | + | |rowspan="1" valign="top"|2061 | |
− | + | |Halley's comet returns | |
− | + | |- | |
− | + | |rowspan="2" valign="top"|2062 | |
− | + | |Uganda hosts World Cup | |
− | + | |- | |
− | + | |The Jetsons | |
− | + | |- | |
− | + | |rowspan="4" valign="top"|2063 | |
− | + | |First human clones reach adulthood | |
− | + | |- | |
− | + | |Population of Moon reaches 100,000 | |
− | + | |- | |
+ | |Population of Mars reaches 10,000 | ||
+ | |- | ||
+ | |Spacecraft exceed speed of light | ||
+ | |- | ||
+ | |rowspan="1" valign="top"|2064 | ||
+ | |Clean Air Act finishes reducing haze in national parks to natural levels | ||
+ | |- | ||
+ | |rowspan="2" valign="top"|2065 | ||
+ | |Last coral reefs die out | ||
+ | |- | ||
+ | |Chernobyl cleanup complete | ||
+ | |- | ||
+ | |rowspan="1" valign="top"|2066 | ||
+ | |Cyprus achieves its goal | ||
+ | |- | ||
+ | |rowspan="2" valign="top"|2067 | ||
+ | |Americans live in domed cities and watch 3D TV | ||
+ | |- | ||
+ | |Redheads go extinct | ||
+ | |- | ||
+ | |rowspan="3" valign="top"|2068 | ||
+ | |Ozone hole over Antarctic finishes recovering | ||
+ | |- | ||
+ | |Lord Jesus rules Earth from throne in Jerusalem | ||
+ | |- | ||
+ | |Entire world population gay due to chemicals in the water | ||
+ | |- | ||
+ | |rowspan="1" valign="top"|2069 | ||
+ | |Public masturbation legalized | ||
+ | |- | ||
+ | |rowspan="3" valign="top"|2070 | ||
+ | |World population peaks | ||
+ | |- | ||
+ | |City-scale flooding disasters | ||
+ | |- | ||
+ | |60% of world's energy comes from renewable sources | ||
+ | |- | ||
+ | |rowspan="2" valign="top"|2071 | ||
+ | |Europe's temperatures rise by 3 °C | ||
+ | |- | ||
+ | |World summer temperatures rise by 5 °C | ||
+ | |- | ||
+ | |rowspan="1" valign="top"|2072 | ||
+ | |US retirement age is set to 75 | ||
+ | |- | ||
+ | |rowspan="1" valign="top"|2073 | ||
+ | |Oceans do not rise one foot | ||
+ | |- | ||
+ | |rowspan="2" valign="top"|2074 | ||
+ | |Number of 100-year-olds reaches one million | ||
+ | |- | ||
+ | |Supertyphoons hit Japan | ||
+ | |- | ||
+ | |rowspan="1" valign="top"|2075 | ||
+ | |US retirement age set to 69 | ||
+ | |- | ||
+ | |rowspan="2" valign="top"|2076 | ||
+ | |Average scientific paper has more than 24 authors | ||
+ | |- | ||
+ | |Social Security trust fund exhausted | ||
+ | |- | ||
+ | |rowspan="1" valign="top"|2077 | ||
+ | | | ||
+ | |- | ||
+ | |rowspan="1" valign="top"|2078 | ||
+ | |Newspapers become obsolete and die out | ||
+ | |- | ||
+ | |rowspan="4" valign="top"|2079 | ||
+ | |US debt reaches 716% of GDP | ||
+ | |- | ||
+ | |Lodgepole pines disappear from Northwest | ||
+ | |- | ||
+ | |Floods commonplace | ||
+ | |- | ||
+ | |Religion marginalized | ||
+ | |- | ||
+ | |rowspan="2" valign="top"|2080 | ||
+ | |Federal spending reaches 70% of GDP | ||
+ | |- | ||
+ | |UK population doubles | ||
+ | |- | ||
+ | |rowspan="1" valign="top"|2081 | ||
+ | | | ||
+ | |- | ||
+ | |rowspan="1" valign="top"|2082 | ||
+ | |World population declines to one billion | ||
+ | |- | ||
+ | |rowspan="1" valign="top"|2083 | ||
+ | | | ||
+ | |- | ||
+ | |rowspan="1" valign="top"|2084 | ||
+ | |Robot policemen introduced | ||
+ | |- | ||
+ | |rowspan="1" valign="top"|2085 | ||
+ | |US deficit reaches 62% of GDP | ||
+ | |- | ||
+ | |rowspan="1" valign="top"|2086 | ||
+ | | | ||
+ | |- | ||
+ | |rowspan="1" valign="top"|2087 | ||
+ | | | ||
+ | |- | ||
+ | |rowspan="1" valign="top"|2088 | ||
+ | |Japan becomes all-robot country | ||
+ | |- | ||
+ | |rowspan="1" valign="top"|2089 | ||
+ | |World halts fossil fuel use | ||
+ | |- | ||
+ | |rowspan="2" valign="top"|2090 | ||
+ | |Global warming hits 7 °C | ||
+ | |- | ||
+ | |Global warming hits 4 °C | ||
+ | |- | ||
+ | |rowspan="1" valign="top"|2091 | ||
+ | | | ||
+ | |- | ||
+ | |rowspan="1" valign="top"|2092 | ||
+ | | | ||
+ | |- | ||
+ | |rowspan="1" valign="top"|2093 | ||
+ | | | ||
+ | |- | ||
+ | |rowspan="1" valign="top"|2094 | ||
+ | | | ||
+ | |- | ||
+ | |rowspan="1" valign="top"|2095 | ||
+ | | | ||
+ | |- | ||
+ | |rowspan="1" valign="top"|2096 | ||
+ | | | ||
+ | |- | ||
+ | |rowspan="1" valign="top"|2097 | ||
+ | | | ||
+ | |- | ||
+ | |rowspan="1" valign="top"|2098 | ||
+ | | | ||
+ | |- | ||
+ | |rowspan="1" valign="top"|2099 | ||
+ | | | ||
+ | |- | ||
+ | |rowspan="11" valign="top"|2100 | ||
+ | |Global warming around 5-7 °C | ||
+ | |- | ||
+ | |Sea levels have risen by a meter or more | ||
+ | |- | ||
+ | |Joshua trees nearly extinct | ||
+ | |- | ||
+ | |Earth's climate resembles that of the Cretaceous | ||
+ | |- | ||
+ | |Germany tropical | ||
+ | |- | ||
+ | |Emperor penguins extinct | ||
+ | |- | ||
+ | |Arctic permafrost thaws | ||
+ | |- | ||
+ | |Rising seas flood coastal cities | ||
+ | |- | ||
+ | |Rain forests mostly gone due to climatic shifts | ||
+ | |- | ||
+ | |All coral reefs gone | ||
+ | |- | ||
+ | |Gillette introduces 14-bladed razor | ||
+ | |- | ||
+ | |rowspan="1" valign="top"|2101 | ||
+ | |WAR WAS BEGINNING | ||
+ | |} | ||
{{comic discussion}} | {{comic discussion}} |