Editing 887: Future Timeline

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Line 845: Line 845:
  
 
==Transcript==
 
==Transcript==
 +
 +
{{incomplete transcript | lineless table is still a table }}
  
 
:<big>'''THE FUTURE'''</big>
 
:<big>'''THE FUTURE'''</big>
Line 926: Line 928:
 
::Car accidents cease
 
::Car accidents cease
 
::West coast falls into ocean
 
::West coast falls into ocean
:;2027
+
:
::Japan introduces new fastest maglev train
+
:{|
::Lyndon Larouche-planned Mars colony established
+
|-
::Social Security stops running surplus
+
|rowspan="3" valign="top"|2027
:;2028
+
|Japan introduces new fastest Maglev train
::Tobacco outlawed
+
|-
::40% of coral reefs gone
+
|Lyndon Larouche-planned Mars colony is established
::US debt paid off
+
|-
::Social Security stops running surplus
+
|Social Security stops running surplus
:;2029
+
|-
::Social Security trust fund exhausted
+
|rowspan="4" valign="top"|2028
::Computers pass the Turing Test
+
|Tobacco outlawed
::Aging reversed
+
|-
::Wikipedia reaches 30 million articles
+
|40% of coral reefs gone
:;2030
+
|-
::Half of Amazon rain forest lost to logging
+
|US debt paid off
::Cancer deaths double from 2008 levels
+
|-
::Arctic ice-free in summer
+
|Social Security stops running surplus
:;2031
+
|-
::Computers controlled by thought
+
|rowspan="4" valign="top"|2029
::Realtors replaced by technology
+
|Social Security trust fund exhausted
::Social Security trust fund exhausted
+
|-
:;2032
+
|Computers pass the Turing test
::"Big One" hits San Francisco
+
|-
::US elects first married lesbian president
+
|Aging reversed
::Entire world converted to Christianity
+
|-
:;2033
+
|Wikipedia reaches 30 Million articles
::Kilimanjaro ice disappears
+
|-
::India becomes superpower
+
|rowspan="3" valign="top"|2030
::Europe reaches Mars
+
|Half of Amazon rain forest lost to logging
:;2034
+
|-
::US diabetes cases double, treatment costs triple
+
|Cancer deaths double from 2008 levels
::US builds autonomous robot army
+
|-
:;2035
+
|Arctic ice-free in summer
::80% of America's energy comes from renewable sources
+
|-
::Himalayan glaciers down 80% in size
+
|rowspan="3" valign="top"|2031
::Arctic sea lane opens
+
|Computers controlled by thought
:;2036
+
|-
::80% of US has access to high-speed rail
+
|Realtors replaced by technology
::Asteroid Apophis hits/misses Earth
+
|-
:;2037
+
|Social Security trust fund exhausted
::Arctic ice-free in September
+
|-
::Social Security trust fund exhausted
+
|rowspan="3" valign="top"|2032
:;2038
+
|"Big One" hits San Francisco
::32-bit timestamps role over, causing Y2K-level chaos
+
|-
::"Big One" hits California
+
|US elects first married lesbian President
:;2039
+
|-
::US population hits 400 million
+
|Entire world converted to Christianity
::Severe heat waves become commonplace
+
|-
::Scientology becomes majority religion in US
+
|rowspan="3" valign="top"|2033
:;2040
+
|Kilimanjaro ice disappears
::Arctic summers ice-free
+
|-
::Nanotechnology makes humans immortal
+
|India becomes superpower
:;2041
+
|-
::Social Security trust fund exhausted
+
|Europe reaches Mars
:;2042
+
|-
:;2043
+
|rowspan="2" valign="top"|2034
::World population passes 9 billion
+
|US diabetes cases double, treatment costs triple
:;2044
+
|-
::Mankind genetically engineered to be happy
+
|US builds autonomous robot army
::Childhood obesity reaches 100%
+
|-
:;2045
+
|rowspan="3" valign="top"|2035
::Humans and machines merge
+
|80% of America's energy comes from renewable sources
:;2046
+
|-
::World's natural resources depleted
+
|Himalayan glaciers down 80% in size
:;2047
+
|-
::World ruled by banks and corporations
+
|Arctic sea lane opens
::Tobacco industry fails
+
|-
::US begins using autonomous attack drones
+
|rowspan="2" valign="top"|2036
:;2048
+
|80% of US has access to high-speed rail
::Salt-water fish extinct from overfishing
+
|-
::Unisex bathing suits cover body from shoulder to ankle
+
|Asteroid Apophis misses/hits Earth
::Entire US population overweight
+
|-
:;2049
+
|rowspan="2" valign="top"|2037
::$1.000 computer exceeds computational ability of humanity
+
|Arctic ice-free in September
::Singularity occurs
+
|-
::Fishing industry collapses
+
|Social Security trust fund exhausted
:;2050
+
|-
::80% of Earth's population lives in urban centers
+
|rowspan="2" valign="top"|2038
::China controls space
+
|32-bit timestamps roll over, causing Y2K-level chaos
::Sex with robots possible
+
|-
::Cars banned from European cities
+
|"Big One" hits California
::One million species extinct from climate change
+
|-
:;2051
+
|rowspan="3" valign="top"|2039
::Atmosphere escapes into space
+
|US population hits 400 Million
:;2052
+
|-
::Medicare, Medicaid, and Social Security spending exceed total US revenue
+
|Severe heat waves become commonplace
:;2053
+
|-
::US budget balanced
+
|Scientology becomes majority religion in US
::Majority of Americans in prison
+
|-
::Cars driven by dogs
+
|rowspan="2" valign="top"|2040
:;2054
+
|Arctic summers ice-free
::Hunger becomes unimaginable global problem
+
|-
:;2055
+
|Nanotechnology makes humans immortal
::Atmospheric CO2 doubled
+
|-
::Oil runs out
+
|rowspan="1" valign="top"|2041
::Copper, tin, lead, gold, and nickel all exhausted
+
|Social Security trust fund exhausted
:;2056
+
|-
::RFID-tagged driverless cars
+
|rowspan="1" valign="top"|2042
::Robots given same rights as humans
+
|
:;2057
+
|-
::150 Japanese settlers on Mars
+
|rowspan="1" valign="top"|2043
::Colorado River runs dry
+
|World population passes 9 Billion
:;2058
+
|-
::Smoking ends in New Zealand
+
|rowspan="2" valign="top"|2044
:;2059
+
|Mankind genetically engineered to be happy
::Humans have domesticated robots
+
|-
:;2060
+
|Childhood obesity reaches 100%
::Human race lives in peace
+
|-
::Extreme droughts across much of Earth
+
|rowspan="1" valign="top"|2045
::Global temperature rise reaches 4°C
+
|Humans and machines merge
::Oil runs out again
+
|-
:;2061
+
|rowspan="1" valign="top"|2046
::Halley's comet returns
+
|World's natural resources depleted
:;2062
+
|-
::Uganda hosts World Cup
+
|rowspan="3" valign="top"|2047
::The Jetsons
+
|World ruled by banks and corporations
:;2063
+
|-
::First human clones reach adulthood
+
|Tobacco industry fails
::Population of Moon reaches 100,000
+
|-
::Population of Mars reaches 10,000
+
|US begins using autonomous attack drones
::Spacecraft exceed speed of light
+
|-
:;2064
+
|rowspan="3" valign="top"|2048
::Clean Air Act finishes reducing haze in national parks to natural levels
+
|Salt-water fish extinct from overfishing
:;2065
+
|-
::Last coral reefs die out
+
|Unisex bathing suits cover body from shoulder to ankle
::Chernobyl cleanup complete
+
|-
:;2066
+
|Entire US population overweight
::Cyprus achieves its goal
+
|-
:;2067
+
|rowspan="3" valign="top"|2049
::Americans live in domed cities and watch 3D TV
+
|$1.000 computer exceeds computational ability of humanity
::Redheads go extinct
+
|-
:;2068
+
|Singularity occurs
::Ozone hole over Antarctic finishes recovering
+
|-
::Lord Jesus rules the Earth from Throne in Jerusalem.
+
|Fishing industry collapses
::Entire world population gay due to chemicals in the water
+
|-
:;2069
+
|rowspan="5" valign="top"|2050
::Public masturbation legalized
+
|80% of Earth's population lives in urban centers
:;2070
+
|-
::World population peaks
+
|China controls space
::City-scale flooding disasters
+
|-
::60% of world's energy comes from renewable sources
+
|Sex with robots possible
:;2071
+
|-
::Europe's temperatures rise by 3°C
+
|Cars banned from European cities
::World summer temperatures rise by 5°C
+
|-
:;2072
+
|One million species extinct from climate change
::US retirement age is set to 75
+
|-
:;2073
+
|rowspan="1" valign="top"|2051
::Oceans do not rise one foot
+
|Atmosphere escapes into space
:;2074
+
|-
::Number of 100-year-olds reaches one million
+
|rowspan="1" valign="top"|2052
::Supertyphoons hit Japan
+
|Medicare, Medicaid, and Social Security spending exceed total US revenue
:;2075
+
|-
::US retirement age set to 69
+
|rowspan="3" valign="top"|2053
:;2076
+
|US budget balanced
::Average scientific paper has more than 24 authors
+
|-
::Social Security trust fund exhausted
+
|Majority of Americans in prison
:;2077
+
|-
:;2078
+
|Cars driven by dogs
::Newspapers become obsolete and die out
+
|-
:;2079
+
|rowspan="1" valign="top"|2054
::US debt reaches 716% of GDP
+
|Hunger becomes unimaginable global problem
::Lodgepole pines disappear from Northwest
+
|-
::Floods commonplace
+
|rowspan="3" valign="top"|2055
::Religion marginalized
+
|Atmospheric CO<sub>2</sub> doubled
:;2080
+
|-
::Federal spending reaches 70% of GDP
+
|Oil runs out
::UK population doubles
+
|-
:;2081
+
|Copper, tin, lead, gold, and nickel all exhausted
:;2082
+
|-
::World population declines to one billion
+
|rowspan="2" valign="top"|2056
:;2083
+
|RFID-tagged driverless cars
:;2084
+
|-
::Robot policemen introduced
+
|Robots given same rights as humans
:;2085
+
|-
::US deficit reaches 62% of GDP
+
|rowspan="2" valign="top"|2057
:;2086
+
|150 Japanese settlers on Mars
:;2087
+
|-
:;2088
+
|Colorado River runs dry
::Japan becomes all-robot country
+
|-
:;2089
+
|rowspan="1" valign="top"|2058
::World halts fossil fuel use
+
|Smoking ends in New Zealand
:;2090
+
|-
::Global warming hits 7°C
+
|rowspan="1" valign="top"|2059
::Global warming hits 4°C
+
|Humans have domesticated robots
:;2091
+
|-
:;2092
+
|rowspan="4" valign="top"|2060
:;2093
+
|Human race lives in peace
:;2094
+
|-
:;2095
+
|Extreme droughts across much of Earth
:;2096
+
|-
:;2097
+
|Global temperature rise reaches 4&nbsp;°C
:;2098
+
|-
:;2099
+
|Oil runs out again
:;2100
+
|-
::Global warming around 5-7°C
+
|rowspan="1" valign="top"|2061
::Sea levels have risen by a meter or more
+
|Halley's comet returns
::Joshua trees nearly extinct
+
|-
::Earth's climate resembles that of the Cretaceous
+
|rowspan="2" valign="top"|2062
::Germany tropical
+
|Uganda hosts World Cup
::Emperor penguins extinct
+
|-
::Arctic permafrost thaws
+
|The Jetsons
::Rising seas flood coastal cities
+
|-
::Rain forests mostly gone due to climatic shifts
+
|rowspan="4" valign="top"|2063
::All coral reefs gone
+
|First human clones reach adulthood
::Gillette introduces 14-bladed razor
+
|-
:;2101
+
|Population of Moon reaches 100,000
::WAR WAS BEGINNING
+
|-
 +
|Population of Mars reaches 10,000
 +
|-
 +
|Spacecraft exceed speed of light
 +
|-
 +
|rowspan="1" valign="top"|2064
 +
|Clean Air Act finishes reducing haze in national parks to natural levels
 +
|-
 +
|rowspan="2" valign="top"|2065
 +
|Last coral reefs die out
 +
|-
 +
|Chernobyl cleanup complete
 +
|-
 +
|rowspan="1" valign="top"|2066
 +
|Cyprus achieves its goal
 +
|-
 +
|rowspan="2" valign="top"|2067
 +
|Americans live in domed cities and watch 3D TV
 +
|-
 +
|Redheads go extinct
 +
|-
 +
|rowspan="3" valign="top"|2068
 +
|Ozone hole over Antarctic finishes recovering
 +
|-
 +
|Lord Jesus rules Earth from throne in Jerusalem
 +
|-
 +
|Entire world population gay due to chemicals in the water
 +
|-
 +
|rowspan="1" valign="top"|2069
 +
|Public masturbation legalized
 +
|-
 +
|rowspan="3" valign="top"|2070
 +
|World population peaks
 +
|-
 +
|City-scale flooding disasters
 +
|-
 +
|60% of world's energy comes from renewable sources
 +
|-
 +
|rowspan="2" valign="top"|2071
 +
|Europe's temperatures rise by 3&nbsp;°C
 +
|-
 +
|World summer temperatures rise by 5&nbsp;°C
 +
|-
 +
|rowspan="1" valign="top"|2072
 +
|US retirement age is set to 75
 +
|-
 +
|rowspan="1" valign="top"|2073
 +
|Oceans do not rise one foot
 +
|-
 +
|rowspan="2" valign="top"|2074
 +
|Number of 100-year-olds reaches one million
 +
|-
 +
|Supertyphoons hit Japan
 +
|-
 +
|rowspan="1" valign="top"|2075
 +
|US retirement age set to 69
 +
|-
 +
|rowspan="2" valign="top"|2076
 +
|Average scientific paper has more than 24 authors
 +
|-
 +
|Social Security trust fund exhausted
 +
|-
 +
|rowspan="1" valign="top"|2077
 +
|
 +
|-
 +
|rowspan="1" valign="top"|2078
 +
|Newspapers become obsolete and die out
 +
|-
 +
|rowspan="4" valign="top"|2079
 +
|US debt reaches 716% of GDP
 +
|-
 +
|Lodgepole pines disappear from Northwest
 +
|-
 +
|Floods commonplace
 +
|-
 +
|Religion marginalized
 +
|-
 +
|rowspan="2" valign="top"|2080
 +
|Federal spending reaches 70% of GDP
 +
|-
 +
|UK population doubles
 +
|-
 +
|rowspan="1" valign="top"|2081
 +
|
 +
|-
 +
|rowspan="1" valign="top"|2082
 +
|World population declines to one billion
 +
|-
 +
|rowspan="1" valign="top"|2083
 +
|
 +
|-
 +
|rowspan="1" valign="top"|2084
 +
|Robot policemen introduced
 +
|-
 +
|rowspan="1" valign="top"|2085
 +
|US deficit reaches 62% of GDP
 +
|-
 +
|rowspan="1" valign="top"|2086
 +
|
 +
|-
 +
|rowspan="1" valign="top"|2087
 +
|
 +
|-
 +
|rowspan="1" valign="top"|2088
 +
|Japan becomes all-robot country
 +
|-
 +
|rowspan="1" valign="top"|2089
 +
|World halts fossil fuel use
 +
|-
 +
|rowspan="2" valign="top"|2090
 +
|Global warming hits 7&nbsp;°C
 +
|-
 +
|Global warming hits 4&nbsp;°C
 +
|-
 +
|rowspan="1" valign="top"|2091
 +
|
 +
|-
 +
|rowspan="1" valign="top"|2092
 +
|
 +
|-
 +
|rowspan="1" valign="top"|2093
 +
|
 +
|-
 +
|rowspan="1" valign="top"|2094
 +
|
 +
|-
 +
|rowspan="1" valign="top"|2095
 +
|
 +
|-
 +
|rowspan="1" valign="top"|2096
 +
|
 +
|-
 +
|rowspan="1" valign="top"|2097
 +
|
 +
|-
 +
|rowspan="1" valign="top"|2098
 +
|
 +
|-
 +
|rowspan="1" valign="top"|2099
 +
|
 +
|-
 +
|rowspan="11" valign="top"|2100
 +
|Global warming around 5-7&nbsp;°C
 +
|-
 +
|Sea levels have risen by a meter or more
 +
|-
 +
|Joshua trees nearly extinct
 +
|-
 +
|Earth's climate resembles that of the Cretaceous
 +
|-
 +
|Germany tropical
 +
|-
 +
|Emperor penguins extinct
 +
|-
 +
|Arctic permafrost thaws
 +
|-
 +
|Rising seas flood coastal cities
 +
|-
 +
|Rain forests mostly gone due to climatic shifts
 +
|-
 +
|All coral reefs gone
 +
|-
 +
|Gillette introduces 14-bladed razor
 +
|-
 +
|rowspan="1" valign="top"|2101
 +
|WAR WAS BEGINNING
 +
|}
  
 
{{comic discussion}}
 
{{comic discussion}}

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