explain xkcd:Sandbox

Explain xkcd: It's 'cause you're dumb.
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xkcd 1957 WIP:

Vulnerability Explanation
Apple products crash when displaying certain Telugu or Bengali letter combinations. [Insert explanation here.]
An attacker can use a timing attack to extploit[sic] a race condition in garbage collection to extract a limited number of bits from the Wikipedia article on Claude Shannon. [Insert explanation here.]
At the cafe on third street, the post-it note with the wifi password is visible from the sidewalk. [Insert explanation here.]
A remote attacker can inject arbitrary text into public-facing pages via the comments box. [Insert explanation here.]
MySQL server 55.45 secretly runs two parallel databases for people who say "S-Q-L" and "sequel." [Insert explanation here.]
A flaw in some x86 CPUs could allow a root user to de-escalate to normal account privileges. [Insert explanation here.]
Apple products catch fire when displaying emoji with diacritics. [Insert explanation here.]
An oversight in the rules allows a dog to join a basketball team. [Insert explanation here.]
Haskell isn't side-effect-free after all; the effects are all just concentrated in this one. Computer in Missouri that no one's checked on in a while. [Insert explanation here.]
Nobody really knows how hypervisors work. [Insert explanation here.]
CRITICAL: Under Linux 3.14.8 on System/390 in a UTC+14 time zone, a local user could potentially use a buffer overflow to change another user's default system clock from 12-hour to 24-hour. [Insert explanation here.]
x86 has way too many instructions. [Insert explanation here.]
Numpy 1.8.0 can factor primes in O(log n) time and must be quietly deprecated before anyone notices. [Insert explanation here.]
Apple products grant remote access if you send them words that break the "I before E" rule. [Insert explanation here.]
Skylake x86 chips can be pried from their sockets using certain flathead screwdrivers. [Insert explanation here.]
Apparently Linus Torvalds can be bribed pretty easily. [Insert explanation here.]
An attacker can execute malicious code on their own machine and no one can stop them. [Insert explanation here.]
Apple products execute any code printed over a photo of a dog with a saddle and a baby riding it. [Insert explanation here.]
Under rare circumstances, a flaw in some versions of Windows could allow Flash to be installed. [[Insert explanation here.]
Turns out the cloud is just other people's computers. [Insert explanation here.]
A flaw in Mitre's CVE database allows arbitrary code insertion.[~~CLICK HERE FOR CHEAP VIAGRA~~] [Insert explanation here.]
Title text: It turns out Bruce Schneier is just two mischevious kids in a trenchcoat. [Insert explanation here.]