Editing 1920: Emoji Sports
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This comic, as the heading indicates, arbitrarily selects emoji and uses them to make up very bizarre sports. Although some of these might be completely normal, most of them take things to a completely absurd level. | This comic, as the heading indicates, arbitrarily selects emoji and uses them to make up very bizarre sports. Although some of these might be completely normal, most of them take things to a completely absurd level. | ||
− | The title text is a reference to the | + | The title text is a reference to the triple crown, which is an highly prestigious award given to a three-year-old thoroughbred horse who wins the Kentucky Derby, the Preakness Stakes, and the Belmont Stakes, the first three of the four listed events. The joke is that if Horse Hole was a real sport, then one who won a major competition for it, the Missouri Horse Hole, in addition to the three main horse racing events, would win a “Quadruple Crown". |
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{| class="wikitable" | {| class="wikitable" | ||
!scope="col" style="width: 100px;" |Emoji | !scope="col" style="width: 100px;" |Emoji | ||
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|🤽♂️🌋 | |🤽♂️🌋 | ||
|Lavaball | |Lavaball | ||
− | |Sets the sport of water polo around or inside an active volcano. If the water is simply replaced with lava, the players would asphyxiate from the toxic fumes long before they burned to death in the molten rock. If a typical pool of water is involved, the introduction of lava would cause rapid evaporation and the release of {{w|Chlorine#Use_as_a_weapon|chlorine gas}}, which is destructive to living tissue. In any case, this game is not a good | + | |Sets the sport of water polo around or inside an active volcano. If the water is simply replaced with lava, the players would asphyxiate from the toxic fumes long before they burned to death in the molten rock. If a typical pool of water is involved, the introduction of lava would cause rapid evaporation and the release of {{w|Chlorine#Use_as_a_weapon|chlorine gas}}, which is destructive to living tissue. In any case, this game is not a good time.{{Citation needed}} |
|-ly o | |-ly o | ||
|🤾♀️🤺 | |🤾♀️🤺 | ||
|Bladeball | |Bladeball | ||
− | |Using a fencing foil to hit a ball would be | + | |Using a fencing foil to hit a ball would not only be inefficient, but would easily lead to the destruction of the ball instead. |
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|💃💃⚽ | |💃💃⚽ | ||
|Fancyball | |Fancyball | ||
− | |Soccer played in high heels and dresses would be a problem for both kicking and running, with the grassy terrain exacerbating these issues, and these would lead to frequent injury | + | |Soccer played in high heels and dresses would be a problem for both kicking and running, with the grassy terrain exacerbating these issues, and these would lead to frequent injury.{{Citation needed}} |
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|🕳️🏇🏇🏇 | |🕳️🏇🏇🏇 | ||
|Horse hole | |Horse hole | ||
− | | Jockeys ride their horses into a large pit. Needless to say, such a sport would constitute blatant animal abuse; the ensuing fall would seriously injure competing equines (as well as their jockeys if they don't bail out beforehand). If the horse's self-preservation instinct kicks in before reaching the edge, the jockey will likely be severely injured in the process, an outcome which would likely garner a lot less pity.<br/> Both this segment and the title text may relate to Episode 354 of | + | | Jockeys ride their horses into a large pit. Needless to say, such a sport would constitute blatant animal abuse; the ensuing fall would seriously injure competing equines (as well as their jockeys if they don't bail out beforehand). If the horse's self-preservation instinct kicks in before reaching the edge, the jockey will likely be severely injured in the process, an outcome which would likely garner a lot less pity.<br/> Both this segment and the title text may relate to Episode 354 of My Brother My Brother And Me, "Beanfreak", where a potential punishment for losing horses in a race is described as a trapdoor leading to a "pony pile" beneath the track. (Many of the podcast's episodes deal with horse racing and horse behavior, including some impassioned conversations on the performance of specific horses and the unregulated nature of the widely recognized Triple Crown achievement.) |
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|🔪🏀⛏️ | |🔪🏀⛏️ | ||
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|🥚🔭🕵️♀️ | |🥚🔭🕵️♀️ | ||
|Eggspotting | |Eggspotting | ||
− | |This could be a combination of {{w|Egg_hunt|egg hunting}} and {{w|birdwatching}}. The emojis | + | |This could be a combination of {{w|Egg_hunt|egg hunting}} and {{w|birdwatching}}. The emojis imply that said eggs would have to be found alone in nature, as if they were wild animals. Though it might be spotting of eggs of the wild animals in their nests. |
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|⛷️🐊 | |⛷️🐊 | ||
|Alligator jumping | |Alligator jumping | ||
− | |An unusual combination of attributes, and to get the alligators to adapt to a cold environment might be a challenge. | + | |An unusual combination of attributes, and to get the alligators to adapt to a cold environment might be a challenge. The emoji is actually a crocodile. |
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|👩🎣🧜♂️ | |👩🎣🧜♂️ | ||
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|👨🏸🧚🏸👩 | |👨🏸🧚🏸👩 | ||
|Tinkerball | |Tinkerball | ||
− | |Playing badminton with a fairy, named after | + | |Playing badminton with a fairy, named after [[wikipedia:Tinker Bell|Tinker Bell]]. Likely to injure the fairy. |
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|🥌🦔🥌 | |🥌🦔🥌 | ||
|Hedgehog curling | |Hedgehog curling | ||
− | |Hedgehogs are not ideal projectiles for sports, | + | |Hedgehogs are not ideal projectiles for sports, as {{w|Alice's Adventures in Wonderland}} has already demonstrated, and such an idea would likely be considered animal abuse on top of the impracticality. |
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|🗜️🍔 | |🗜️🍔 | ||
|Burger clamping | |Burger clamping | ||
− | |Perhaps a challenge to fit a tall burger into a bite-sized height, though said clamp | + | |Perhaps a challenge to fit a tall burger into a bite-sized height, though said clamp is more likely to pierce the burger than to flatten it. |
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|👩🚀🏹🛰️ | |👩🚀🏹🛰️ | ||
|Consequence archery | |Consequence archery | ||
− | |Archery on a | + | |Archery on a station could cause damage to its structure leading to the potentially explosive decompression of the station, and necessitate the evacuation of the astronauts aboard. If played outside, stray arrows could still cause disaster by setting debris into motion or by hitting vessels or equipment. Another dangerous consequence of shooting an arrow while floating in without a jetpack would be that the shot propulses the astronaut in the opposite direction of the arrow, setting him or her off to drift away helplessly into . |
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|🦉➡️📬 | |🦉➡️📬 | ||
|Owlstuffing | |Owlstuffing | ||
− | |This appears to consist of attempting to stuff owls into mailboxes, which would be doubly illegal, because it would be cruel to the owls and interfere with | + | |This appears to consist of attempting to stuff owls into mailboxes, which would be doubly illegal, because it would be cruel to the owls and interfere with delivery of the mail. The mailbox is shown with the flag up, which normally indicates that there is mail in it, but it appears to be empty, perhaps so that the owl can be stuffed in it. Possibly a reference to owls carrying mail in the Harry Potter series. |
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|🍴🕯️🍴 | |🍴🕯️🍴 | ||
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|⛳💣🏌️♀️ | |⛳💣🏌️♀️ | ||
|Consequence golf | |Consequence golf | ||
− | |The "consequence" of this game is simple: the bomb's eventual explosion necessitates efficient playing. Golfing with a bomb would likely significantly reduce the par on each hole, depending on the length of the fuse, and due to the threat of explosion, | + | |The "consequence" of this game is simple: the bomb's eventual explosion necessitates efficient playing. Golfing with a bomb would likely significantly reduce the par on each hole, depending on the length of the fuse, and due to the threat of explosion, par likely would not be able to be exceeded unless the unskilled golfer is also very fast. There would be definite damage to the course and golfers unless the holes extinguished the bombs of golfers who succeeded in time. The balance and rolling of the balls would also be impeded by the fuses and caps. |
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|👉🐍👈 | |👉🐍👈 | ||
|Snake shaming | |Snake shaming | ||
− | | | + | |Probably a play on snake charming. Also a possible reference to the biblical story where the snake is shamed for deceiving mankind by being doomed to crawl on its belly. |
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|🔥🧗♀️🔥 | |🔥🧗♀️🔥 | ||
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==Transcript== | ==Transcript== | ||
+ | {{incomplete transcript|Do NOT delete this tag too soon.}} | ||
:<big>New sports</big> | :<big>New sports</big> | ||
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[[Category:Comics with color]] | [[Category:Comics with color]] | ||
[[Category:Emoji]] | [[Category:Emoji]] | ||
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