1081: Argument Victory
Title text: Really, the comforting side in most conspiracy theory arguments is the one claiming that anyone who's in power has any plan at all.
Cueball is arguing on the internet via his phone with Hairy at his laptop. They appear to be arguing about some conspiracy theory which Hairy believes in. Since these arguments are interminable, Cueball forgoes further pointless debate and claims to "win" the argument by dropping the subject and going down a waterslide instead. (He's still carrying his phone, which doesn't seem like a great idea since the phone could get wet.) In doing so, he willfully abandons trying to change Hairy's mind, and has some good, honest fun instead, while Hairy is stuck at his computer, dogged in the assumption that there's any real value in winning an Internet argument.
The point here is that sometimes the battle isn't worth fighting. Cueball may not have "won" the debate, but it was unwinnable anyway (conspiracy theorists and other zealots never admit defeat), and he's certainly having a lot more fun.
The title text points out that belief in a conspiracy presupposes that those with the power to carry out the conspiracy actually have a plan, a situation which might be found "comforting" in contrast to one of its alternatives, namely that those in power are just muddling through with no plan at all. This concept is revisited in 1274: Open Letter.
- Cueball: I can't believe you're so wrong. I'm backed by Snopes, Wikipedia, and a half-dozen journals. You're citing .net pages with black backgrounds and like 20 fonts each.
- Hairy: It's sad how you buy into the official story so unquestioningly. Guess some people prefer to stay asleep.
- Cueball: Watch closely— I'm about to win this argument.
- Hairy, responding electronically: how?
- Cueball: By going down a waterslide.
- [Cueball is sitting at the very top of a waterslide preparing to descend.]
- Hairy: So? what does that prove?
- Cueball: Wheeee..
- Hairy: You didn't win the argument!
- Cueball: ...eeee