486: I am Not a Ninja

Explain xkcd: It's 'cause you're dumb.
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I am Not a Ninja
'The sad thing is that I just wanted to talk about your poor smoke-bomb techniques.'
Title text: 'The sad thing is that I just wanted to talk about your poor smoke-bomb techniques.'

Explanation

In a romantic relationship, some of the most horrifying words are arguably "We need to talk." They often stereotypically signal the beginning of a conversation that the speaker knows will cause the listener to become upset.

In this comic, Cueball is so horrified by hearing those words that he tries the ol' "ninja smoke vanish" technique, only to have it fail miserably when the pellet provides insufficient visual cover to perform the trick, yet still sets off the smoke detector, and then he can't get the window open to either leave the scene or just clear the less than useful cloud. Megan simply facepalms and leaves.

The title text jokes that Megan simply wanted to talk to Cueball about his poor smoke-bomb techniques. Arguably, then, this instance was actually a qualified success in issue avoidance.

He continued to keep smoke bombs on his person for situations such as these as seen in the title text of 1712: Politifact.

Transcript

[Cueball and Megan facing each other in the same panel.]
Megan: We need to talk.
[Cueball turns to look behind him; panel pans back to show a (closed) window on the wall.]
[Cueball throws a smoke grenade to the floor.]
POW
[Grenade fizzles and begins to emit smoke; Cueball and Megan both look down at it.]
sssss
[Smoke cloud expands very slightly. Megan puts her hand to her face.]
cough
[The smoke detector alarm above them starts beeping. Both look up.]
BEEP BEE-
[Cueball and Megan look down at the grenade again. The alarm is still beeping.]
-P BEEP BEEP BEEP BE-
[Cueball slowly backs away. The alarm is still beeping.]
-EP BEEP BEEP BEEP B-
[Cueball unsuccessfully tries to open the apparently locked window. The alarm is still beeping.]
Rattle rattle
-BEEP BEEP-
[Panel pans back to the full view. Cueball looks back at Megan, who is now face-palming. The alarm is still beeping.]
-BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP B-
[Megan turns and walks away. Cueball looks at the window. The alarm is still beeping.]
-EEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEE-


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Discussion

I can't believe I've been reading xkcd for fourteen years and only now stumbled across this wiki. It's an interesting experience re-reading the old comics, but with an explanation this time. The hours I've spent trying to figure out the meaning behind some of these comics... -- The Cat Lady (talk) 14:55, 15 August 2021 (UTC)

the funniest thing i have done today is picture what this would sound like Me[citation needed] 13:58, 18 September 2023 (UTC)