Editing 2003: Presidential Succession
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Randall's list omits members of Congress, as well as other cabinet positions, in accordance with the report's concerns about constitutionality and qualifications. However, his other additions totally ignore these issues, including people with no apparent qualifications for the office (such as actors, athletes, and competitive eaters) and people who are constitutionally ineligible for the office. The US Constitution requires that the President of the United States must be a natural-born US citizen, at least 35 years of age, and have resided in the US for at least fourteen years. Randall's list includes many people who don't meet these requirements. Most notably, he includes the entire succession to the British crown, almost none of whom meet the requirement of being natural-born citizens of the United States. | Randall's list omits members of Congress, as well as other cabinet positions, in accordance with the report's concerns about constitutionality and qualifications. However, his other additions totally ignore these issues, including people with no apparent qualifications for the office (such as actors, athletes, and competitive eaters) and people who are constitutionally ineligible for the office. The US Constitution requires that the President of the United States must be a natural-born US citizen, at least 35 years of age, and have resided in the US for at least fourteen years. Randall's list includes many people who don't meet these requirements. Most notably, he includes the entire succession to the British crown, almost none of whom meet the requirement of being natural-born citizens of the United States. | ||
− | It may be expected that many of the athletes, musicians and actors on this list are likely to be ineligible as well. Most professional athletes in the relevant sports are under 35 years old, particularly those at the peak of their careers (when they'd likely win MVP awards), the most popular musicians also tend to be younger than 35, and many who meet these requirements were not born US citizens (and some many not even reside in the US). However, the existing line of succession can also contain ineligible people, who would simply be skipped over for succession. For example, at the comic's publication, {{w|Elaine Chao}} was the Secretary of Transportation and would normally be 14th in line, but because she is a naturalized citizen of the US, rather than native-born (she was born in Taiwan) she would not qualify for the office if the line came to her. The presidential line of succession was first mentioned in [[1933: Santa Facts]] | + | It may be expected that many of the athletes, musicians and actors on this list are likely to be ineligible as well. Most professional athletes in the relevant sports are under 35 years old, particularly those at the peak of their careers (when they'd likely win MVP awards), the most popular musicians also tend to be younger than 35, and many who meet these requirements were not born US citizens (and some many not even reside in the US). However, the existing line of succession can also contain ineligible people, who would simply be skipped over for succession. For example, at the comic's publication, {{w|Elaine Chao}} was the Secretary of Transportation and would normally be 14th in line, but because she is a naturalized citizen of the US, rather than native-born (she was born in Taiwan) she would not qualify for the office if the line came to her. The presidential line of succession was first mentioned in [[1933: Santa Facts]] |
The title text mentions that ties will be broken by whoever was closest to the surface of {{w|Europa}} when they were born. Europa is a moon of Jupiter and one of the most likely locations in the Solar System for {{w|Habitability of natural satellites|potential habitability}}. This is likely a parody of systems in which ties are broken by semi-arbitrary rules (such as the older candidate automatically winning a tie) or a randomized ones (such as ties being decided by a coin flip). The position of Europa with respect to Earth at the time of one's birth depends on enough factors that it acts as a pseudo-random tie breaker, albeit a needlessly complicated one. | The title text mentions that ties will be broken by whoever was closest to the surface of {{w|Europa}} when they were born. Europa is a moon of Jupiter and one of the most likely locations in the Solar System for {{w|Habitability of natural satellites|potential habitability}}. This is likely a parody of systems in which ties are broken by semi-arbitrary rules (such as the older candidate automatically winning a tie) or a randomized ones (such as ties being decided by a coin flip). The position of Europa with respect to Earth at the time of one's birth depends on enough factors that it acts as a pseudo-random tie breaker, albeit a needlessly complicated one. | ||
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#{{w|Tom Brady}} ({{w|National Football League Most Valuable Player Award|NFL MVP}}) <br> The MVPs of all other listed sports leagues are ineligible for the office due to age or nationality. | #{{w|Tom Brady}} ({{w|National Football League Most Valuable Player Award|NFL MVP}}) <br> The MVPs of all other listed sports leagues are ineligible for the office due to age or nationality. | ||
#{{w|Bill Pullman}} (Bill Pullman) <br> None of his children are old enough to become President at this time. | #{{w|Bill Pullman}} (Bill Pullman) <br> None of his children are old enough to become President at this time. | ||
− | #Rowan Lascelles (was | + | #Rowan Lascelles (was 59th in line to the throne at the time, born in Britain to an American mother,and appears to live in Britain, so citizenship is questionable) |
− | #Sophie Lascelles (was | + | #Sophie Lascelles (was 62nd in line to the throne at the time, born in Britain to an American mother, and appears to live in Britain, so citizenship is questionable)<br>This only covers the first 88 people in line to the throne. |
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#''everyone else'' (Jousting tournament) | #''everyone else'' (Jousting tournament) | ||
− | Based on the comic's defined criteria for the order of succession, these are the specific individuals in that order, including only people who are otherwise eligible to be the President of United States (35 year old and natural born US citizens who lived in US for last 14 years) '''as of the current date'''. (Last updated on | + | Based on the comic's defined criteria for the order of succession, these are the specific individuals in that order, including only people who are otherwise eligible to be the President of United States (35 year old and natural born US citizens who lived in US for last 14 years) '''as of the current date'''. (Last updated on 11 January 2024<!-- Assuming the last editor did it correctly... -->) |
#[[Joe Biden]] <!-- Shouldn't it be Elon Musk by now? --> ({{w|President of the United States}}) | #[[Joe Biden]] <!-- Shouldn't it be Elon Musk by now? --> ({{w|President of the United States}}) | ||
#{{w|Kamala Harris}} ({{w|Vice President of the United States}}) | #{{w|Kamala Harris}} ({{w|Vice President of the United States}}) | ||
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#{{w|Shane Kimbrough}} (Astronaut, 388 days in space) | #{{w|Shane Kimbrough}} (Astronaut, 388 days in space) | ||
#{{w|Bill Pullman}} (Bill Pullman) | #{{w|Bill Pullman}} (Bill Pullman) | ||
− | #Maesa Pullman (first descendant of Bill Pullman via absolute primogeniture)<br>Bill Pullman's other children are not old enough to become President at this time.<br>{{w|Serena Williams}} lost the final match of her career against {{w|Ajla Tomljanović}}, who is ineligible due to age and nationality.<br>The MVPs of all listed sports leagues are ineligible for the office due to age | + | #Maesa Pullman (first descendant of Bill Pullman via absolute primogeniture)<br>Bill Pullman's other children are not old enough to become President at this time.<br>{{w|Serena Williams}} lost the final match of her career against {{w|Ajla Tomljanović}}, who is ineligible due to age and nationality.<br>The MVPs of all listed sports leagues are ineligible for the office due to age or nationality. |
− | #Rowan Lascelles (currently | + | #Rowan Lascelles (currently 68th in line to the throne, born in Britain to an American mother, and appears to live in Britain, so citizenship is questionable) |
− | + | #Tewa Lascelles (currently 69th in line to the throne, born in America, appears to live in US) | |
− | + | #Sophie Lascelles (currently 71st in line to the throne, born in Britain to an American mother, and appears to live in Britain, so citizenship is questionable)<br>This only covers the first 88 people in line to the throne. | |
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#{{w|Miki Sudo}} (Women’s champion of the 2023 Nathan’s Hot Dog Eating Contest; listed first due to being closer to Europa at birth) | #{{w|Miki Sudo}} (Women’s champion of the 2023 Nathan’s Hot Dog Eating Contest; listed first due to being closer to Europa at birth) | ||
#{{w|Joey Chestnut}} (Men's champion of the 2023 Nathan's Hot Dog Eating Contest) | #{{w|Joey Chestnut}} (Men's champion of the 2023 Nathan's Hot Dog Eating Contest) | ||
− | #''everyone else'' (Jousting tournament) <br> Assumes that the number of eligible US | + | #''everyone else'' (Jousting tournament) <br> Assumes that the number of eligible US Citizens does not exceed 536,870,912. |
==Transcript== | ==Transcript== |