Editing 2886: Fast Radio Bursts
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− | | titletext = Dr Petroff has also shown that the Higgs boson signal was actually sparks from someone microwaving grapes, the EHT black hole photo was a frozen bagel someone left in too long, and the LIGO detection was just someone slamming the microwave door too hard. | + | | titletext = Dr. Petroff has also shown that the Higgs boson signal was actually sparks from someone microwaving grapes, the EHT black hole photo was a frozen bagel someone left in too long, and the LIGO detection was just someone slamming the microwave door too hard. |
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==Explanation== | ==Explanation== | ||
+ | {{incomplete|Created by a FAST RADIO BAGEL - Please change this comment when editing this page. Do NOT delete this tag too soon.}} | ||
− | + | Cueball is at a convention, stating the different sources of fast radio bursts. His team is pretty sure that most of these bursts are energetic stellar objects in space. He then says that some of them are caused by microwave, citing Dr. Petroff's work (identifying the source of perytons at the Parkes radio telescope, E. Petroff, et al, https://arxiv.org/abs/1504.02165). After that, he says that energetic stellar-sized microwaves could also be the cause, though this is unlikely since microwaves typically are not stellar-sized and they do not float in space{{Citation needed}}. His final cause is an energetic stellar-sized object in the break room, which would be surprising, as we have yet to see a break room being able to contain an energetic stellar-sized object. He also jokes about sending a grad student there to double-check, which is humorous both due to the aforementioned unlikeliness that that is something that they need to worry about and because if there is indeed energetic stellar plasma in the break room, the million-degree temperatures would probably kill anyone who enters it (which is probably why Cueball is sending a grad student instead of checking himself). | |
− | + | The title text states that [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wCrtk-pyP0I&t=1s microwaving grapes] caused the detection of the Higgs boson, the [https://science.nasa.gov/resource/first-image-of-a-black-hole/ EHT black hole image] was actually a bagel, and the LIGO detection was caused by someone slamming the microwave too hard. All of these jokes have the microwave as their theme. Also, in order for LIGO to mistake microwave doors slamming for gravitational waves (among the differences between the shapes of the signals being unrealistically small and LIGO's quadruple suspension system not working), there would have had to have been two microwave doors slammed, one in Louisiana and one in Washington State, within a fraction of a second of each other. | |
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− | The title text | ||
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==Transcript== | ==Transcript== | ||
{{incomplete transcript|Do NOT delete this tag too soon.}} | {{incomplete transcript|Do NOT delete this tag too soon.}} | ||
− | :[Cueball standing behind a lectern, with a poster hung from the ceiling behind him | + | :[Cueball standing behind a lectern, with a poster hung from the ceiling behind him] |
− | : Potential sources of fast radio bursts: | + | :Potential sources of fast radio bursts: |
:(1) Energetic stellar-sized astrophysical objects floating in space | :(1) Energetic stellar-sized astrophysical objects floating in space | ||
:Cueball: We're pretty sure this is what most of them are. | :Cueball: We're pretty sure this is what most of them are. | ||
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:(2) Microwave ovens in the observatory break room | :(2) Microwave ovens in the observatory break room | ||
− | :Cueball: This was some of them, oops. (Petroff et. al., 2015) | + | :Cueball: This was definitely some of them, oops. (Petroff et. al., 2015) |
:(3) Energetic steller-sized microwave ovens floating in space | :(3) Energetic steller-sized microwave ovens floating in space | ||
:Cueball: We think this one is unlikely. | :Cueball: We think this one is unlikely. | ||
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:(4) Energetic stellar-sized astrophysical objects in the observatory break room | :(4) Energetic stellar-sized astrophysical objects in the observatory break room | ||
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{{comic discussion}} | {{comic discussion}} | ||
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[[Category:Astronomy]] | [[Category:Astronomy]] | ||
[[Category:Physics]] | [[Category:Physics]] | ||
[[Category:Space]] | [[Category:Space]] |