Editing 1027: Pickup Artist
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==Explanation== | ==Explanation== | ||
− | [[Hairy]] and [[Cueball]] are sitting at a table with drinks. Hairy tells Cueball that he's learned some {{w|pickup artist}} tricks. Cueball is appalled, declaring that pickup artists are "dehumanizing creeps" | + | [[Hairy]] and [[Cueball]] are sitting at a table with drinks. Hairy tells Cueball that he's learned some {{w|pickup artist}} tricks. Cueball is appalled, declaring that pickup artists are "dehumanizing creeps". Hairy argues that he's simply learning new tactics such as "[http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=negging negging]" (undercutting the target's self-esteem so that she'll feel vulnerable and crave approval), evidently oblivious to the fact that he's proving Cueball's point. Rejecting Cueball's advice to simply talk to women "like a fucking human being", Hairy sets off to try out the technique. |
− | Meanwhile, [[Black Hat]] and [[Danish]] are sitting at another table. Black Hat | + | Meanwhile, [[Black Hat]] and [[Danish]] are sitting at another table. Black Hat leaves to roll a bowling ball through the rest room stalls to smash the feet of anyone else who using them. (As people sit down to use a bathroom stall most of the time, their feet would be vulnerable to being hit in sequence. Perhaps Black Hat is going for a 'strike'.) Hairy approaches Danish, while Cueball looks on and says "oh no" (seemingly recognizing Danish and anticipating the disaster Hairy is walking into). |
− | Hairy makes an attempt at "negging" by suggesting that Danish's fruit plate reflects a need to lose weight. Danish, naturally being a master at psychological manipulation, immediately realizes his game, and crushes him utterly by taking [ | + | Hairy makes an attempt at "negging" by suggesting that Danish's fruit plate reflects a need to lose weight. Danish, naturally being a master at psychological manipulation, immediately realizes his game, and crushes him utterly by taking another [http://www.explainxkcd.com/wiki/index.php/440:_Road_Rage "shot in the psychological dark"] - telling him that he's trapped in an endless cycle of failure (a common experience for many of us) because he's ultimately a mediocre person and will never do anything of value with his life. Demoralized, Hairy declares that he needs to go home and think about his life; Danish tells him "It won't help". Presumably she has some experience. |
− | The title text refers to {{w|Michael Jordan}}, a very popular and accomplished {{w|basketball}} player who played for the {{w|Chicago Bulls}} and the {{w|Washington Wizards}}. His name is often used as a noun to denote that someone is the best in their field | + | The title text refers to {{w|Michael Jordan}}, a very popular and accomplished {{w|basketball}} player who played for the {{w|Chicago Bulls}} and the {{w|Washington Wizards}}. His name is often used as a noun to denote that someone is the best in their field. |
− | The pick up subject and Hairy returned in [[1178: Pickup Artists]] | + | The pick up subject (and Hairy) returned in [[1178: Pickup Artists]]. |
==Transcript== | ==Transcript== | ||
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:[Close-up of Cueball's head.] | :[Close-up of Cueball's head.] | ||
:Cueball: Just talk to them like a fucking human being. | :Cueball: Just talk to them like a fucking human being. | ||
− | :Hairy: Nah, that's a sucker's game. | + | :Hairy: Nah, that's a sucker's game. Ok— wish me luck! |
− | |||
− | : | + | :''Meanwhile'' |
− | :Black Hat: I'm going to the bathroom to roll a bowling ball | + | :[Black Hat and Danish at a table. Black hat is standing up with a bowling ball under his arm.] |
+ | :Black Hat: I'm going to the bathroom to roll a bowling ball under the line of stalls. | ||
:Danish: Cool. | :Danish: Cool. | ||
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:[Hairy and Danish at a table. Hairy is standing up and leaning on the table.] | :[Hairy and Danish at a table. Hairy is standing up and leaning on the table.] | ||
− | :Hairy: You look like you're on a diet. That's great! | + | :Hairy: You look like you're on a diet. That's great! How's the fruit plate? |
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:[Close-up of Danish's head.] | :[Close-up of Danish's head.] | ||
− | :Danish: Ooh- are we negging? | + | :Danish: Ooh- are we negging? Let me try! |
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:[Close-up of Danish's head, with her hand raised.] | :[Close-up of Danish's head, with her hand raised.] | ||
− | :Danish: You look like you're going to spend your life having one epiphany after another, always thinking you've finally figured out what's holding you back, and how you can finally be productive and creative and turn your life around. | + | :Danish: You look like you're going to spend your life having one epiphany after another, always thinking you've finally figured out what's holding you back, and how you can finally be productive and creative and turn your life around. But nothing will ever change. That cycle of mediocrity isn't due to some obstacle. It's who you ''are''. The thing standing in the way of your dreams is; that the person having them is ''you''. |
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:[Hairy and Danish at a table. Hairy is standing up.] | :[Hairy and Danish at a table. Hairy is standing up.] | ||
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[[Category:Comics featuring Hairy]] | [[Category:Comics featuring Hairy]] | ||
[[Category:Comics featuring Danish]] | [[Category:Comics featuring Danish]] | ||
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[[Category:Romance]] | [[Category:Romance]] | ||
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