Editing 1593: Play-By-Play

[[Beret Guy]] comments on a {{w|baseball}} game using improper terminology in a way that demonstrates that he does not understand how the game is played. Moreover, his naïve way of speaking reveals that he is not aware of his lack of knowledge and does not consider it possible that, as is probably the case, his audience is much more familiar with this sport and its rules. His unworldly way of talking makes one even wonder if he has any notion of the way people experience sports at all. His choice of terminology is reminiscent of [[1133: Up Goer Five]], and [[1322: Winter]] in that he names things using simplified terms that he feels best describes their function like "{{w|Pitcher|thrower}}", "{{w|Baseball field#second base|second pillow}}" or "{{w|bullpen|thrower jail}}". His commentary is a combination of mistaken terms and misunderstandings of the rules and principles of the game.

!width="20%"| Corrected "Translation"

|"We're in the 5th [or "top of the 3rd"] inning of a baseball game."

|Part of baseball is hitting the ball with the {{w|Baseball bat|bat}}. A baseball game is divided into rounds called {{w|Inning|innings}}, with each team getting a chance to bat. Since Beret Guy does not know what an inning is, he may count each half-inning as a "part", seeing that all players return to their dugouts to switch equipment between half-innings.

|N/A (A professional commentator would not correlate bat size with hitting ability.)

|This is a simply a misunderstanding that the size of a bat will determine the strength of the hit. Every hitter uses a bat that fits his physique, {{w|Baseball_bat#Regulations|within certain limits in the rules}}. In general, the size of a bat is not a significant factor on the ball's distance. The limits in the rules generally prevent any sort of advantage gained by the size of the bat.

|"Swing and a miss." "Here comes the 0-1."

|The goal in baseball for the fielding team is to get three outs to end the inning. One way to get an out is for the {{w|pitcher}} to get the batter to accumulate three strikes for a {{w|strikeout}}. A pitch that goes through the {{w|strike zone}} but is not swung at is counted as a strike, as is ''any'' ball that is swung at but missed. A foul ball (a ball hit into an out-of-play area) also counts as a strike unless it would be the third strike (except a {{w|foul tip}}, which can be the third strike). In this case, the batter swung at and missed the first pitch, and so has one strike but not a strikeout, so the hitter is allowed to "try again".

|"Despite heckling from fans in the {{w|bleacher}}s, this batter is keeping his head in the game."

|Cheering and heckling is so commonplace that the players on the field are unlikely to react to it.

|"This pitcher is good! He keeps striking out batters." OR "This pitcher keeps walking batters!" (These could be mixed.)

|Beret Guy may be indicating that the pitcher has struck out several batters. Batters who are out return to the {{w|Dugout (baseball)|dugout}} and the next batter replaces them. On the other hand, given Beret Guy's lack of baseball knowledge, it's possible that the pitcher has {{w|Walk (baseball)|walked}} batters which would result in the batters leaving the batter's box and going to first base. Beret Guy could be considering this "making people leave".

|"The fielders aren't seeing much action right now (due to the pitcher's performance)."

|The other players of the team do not pitch. Their role while fielding is to get outs if the ball is hit. If the pitcher is either striking out or walking batters, the fielders (other than the {{w|catcher}}) would not generally be involved in the play.

|"The runner has just stolen second base!"

|Any {{w|Baserunning|baserunner}} (a player standing at a {{w|Baseball field|base}}) can attempt to run to the next base before or while the pitcher delivers a pitch (called {{w|Stolen base|stealing a base}}). The pitcher or catcher can throw the ball to one of his teammates to {{w|tag out}} the runner before he reaches the next base. Thus, an attempt to steal a base is most successful if no one notices.

The "second pillow" implies that the runner in question stole second base, which is the {{w|Stolen base#Plays involving baserunning|most commonly stolen base}}. However, someone who knows little to nothing about baseball, such as Beret Guy in this case, may not be aware which bases are considered "first", "second", and "third", since the bases are not laid out linearly. The fact that there was a runner to steal a base suggests that one of the batters was indeed walked (or got a hit that was not mentioned, among other ways to reach base).

|"Everyone's real mad but I guess they checked the rules and there's nothing that says he can't do that. Yikes. Hopefully they can fix that once the game is over."

|N/A (A professional commentator would not remark on the legality of the play.)

|A stolen base by the visiting team may be met with anger from the fans. A stolen base by either team may cause the other team to be angry. Beret Guy, not knowing the rules of baseball, seems to find it odd that the runner is allowed to steal a base and seems surprised that there is no rule against it. He suggests it's a loophole that hopefully the league will fix once they've learned of the stolen base. In reality, the players, fans and game officials would be well aware of the legality of stealing a base. Beret Guy's phrasing may be a reference to [[1552: Rulebook]].

|"The pitcher gave up too many hits, so the manager rotated the pitcher out of the game and called in a reliever from the bullpen."

|If the batters are getting too many hits, it may mean that the pitcher has become tired and less effective or that the batters are learning the pitcher's habits or rhythms. Once this happens, the team's manager will typically replace the pitcher with a {{w|relief pitcher}} who will come out of the {{w|Bullpen|bullpen}} (the generally enclosed area next to the playing field where relief pitchers warm up) to join the game. Beret Guy may be mistaking the manager of one team as in charge of the entire game with his term "King of the Game".

:[Beret Guy is sitting with headphones with a microphone on, looking out of the frame, hands resting on a table.]

:[Zoom out with Beret Guy shown from the side sitting at a desk.]

:[Beret Guy looks straight out.]

:[Beret Guy turns his head to the side.]