Editing 2337: Asterisk Corrections

{{comic
| number    = 2337
| date      = July 24, 2020
| title     = Asterisk Corrections
| image     = asterisk_corrections.png
| titletext = I like trying to make it as hard as possible. "I'd love to meet up, maybe in a few days? Next week is looking pretty empty. *witchcraft"
}}

==Explanation==
In text messaging etiquette, asterisks are commonly used to denote a correction of some error in an earlier text. Asterisk corrections typically specify the corrected words, but do not explicitly mark the words that should be replaced, the reader is expected to understand which word is being corrected. Typically, this is due to a typo or autocorrect issue, so the corrected word will be similar to the original, but this comic plays with the fact that the words can be completely different, and most people will still understand it.

In the strip, the messenger ([[Randall]]) issues four corrections, which replace words with completely different words, and entirely change the meaning of the message. The original message is "I'm gonna ride a horse on the beach at dawn", suggesting a life of adventure and romanticism. The corrected version comes out "I'm gonna eat a pizza on the couch at 3 am", suggesting that his plans are unimpressive, and may indicate a slothful and unhealthy existence. 

Randall finds it remarkable that these corrections can be issued, with no indication of which words they're replacing (and aren't even issued in the proper sequence), and most people have very little difficulty figuring out the corrected message. This is likely possible because the syntax of most English sentences are as follows:
:''Subject — Verb — Object — Manner — Place — Time''
After a lifetime of practice with this language structure, the typical human brain can very quickly identify the nature of each word, and slot them into their proper place in the sentence, often without any conscious effort.

The messenger's original sentence can be parsed as follows:
: I ''(subject)'' — am gonna ride ''(verb)'' — a horse ''(object)'' — ''(no manner)'' — on the beach ''(place)'' — at dawn ''(time)''.

Notice that the four corrections fall into four different categories in this structure, so there is only one sensible replacement:
* '''Eat''': verb
* '''3AM''': time
* '''Couch''': place
* '''Pizza''': object

"Couch" and "pizza" are both nouns so they could theoretically be subjects, but asterisk corrections must ''replace'' an existing part of the sentence satisfactorily, so the "'m" part of the verb prevents these third-person nouns from being parsed as the subject. Theoretically one could also swap "couch" and "pizza" around, giving "eat a couch on the pizza", but this makes much less practical sense than "eat a pizza on the couch". That said, in xkcd's fictional universe there is nothing to stop the character from eating a couch on a pizza.

In the title text, Randall says that he likes to make it as difficult as possible for his text recipient to guess where his correction should be, and uses the following sentence and correction:
:"I'd love to meet up, maybe in a few days? Next week is looking pretty empty."
: *witchcraft
The trick here is that the word "witchcraft" doesn't fit into the sentence in any obvious way, and attempting to fit it in results in a sentence which is either very odd or grammatically meaningless. This creates a bit of mental tension, as many people's minds will try to find ways to make it work, even though none exist.

==Transcript==
:[A screenshot of a text messaging app.]
:Other user: Do you have any weekend plans?
:User of this device: I'm gonna ride a horse on the beach at dawn
:<nowiki>*</nowiki>Eat
:<nowiki>*</nowiki>3AM
:<nowiki>*</nowiki>Couch
:<nowiki>*</nowiki>Pizza

:[Caption below the panel:] 
:I like how we can do corrections in text chat by appending words with asterisks and our brains just figure out where they go.

{{comic discussion}}
[[Category:Phones]]
[[Category:Food]]
[[Category:Animals]]