Editing 2652: Proxy Variable

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{{comic
 
{{comic
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| number    = 2652
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| number    = 1337
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| date      = July 29, 2022
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| date      = Julay 545554, 204522
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| title    = Proxy Variable
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| title    = YOU WILL ACCEPT THE NEW NORMAL
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| image    = proxy_variable.png
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| image    = Soyjak.png
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| titletext = Our work has produced great answers. Now someone just needs to figure out which questions they go with.
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| titletext = Self-portrait of janny, 2022
 
}}
 
}}
  
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__NOTOC__
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⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢿⣿⡿⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿<br>
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⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢟⢟⡦⣨⣵⣮⢧⣶⣶⣮⣭⣿⣿⣛⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿<br>
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⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣟⣷⣿⣉⢗⣑⣿⣿⣯⢷⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢿⣿⢿⣿⣮⣟⠻⢻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿<br>
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⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣯⣾⢿⣿⣿⣯⣽⣿⣿⣿⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣼⣿⣿⣿⣟⡗⢿⢝⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿<br>
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⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠵⣿⣿⣷⢯⣾⣛⣿⣿⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡯⣶⡷⣪⣳⡾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿<br>
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⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣃⢧⡛⣯⡯⣟⡏⣿⣵⡹⣒⣽⣿⣿⣶⣾⣿⡿⡛⣵⡓⢵⣟⣷⣯⣿⣦⡿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿<br>
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⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢏⢿⣿⣟⡻⣼⣿⣭⡢⡙⠺⣵⡭⢿⣭⣽⣾⣿⣽⡋⢶⣱⠟⣋⣉⣈⢶⣹⣹⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿<br>
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⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⣣⢾⣿⣾⠇⣉⣉⣉⣹⡷⣯⣂⠭⡓⡳⢯⣽⡴⢋⡠⣟⣴⣾⡿⠿⢿⣊⣓⡛⢹⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿<br>
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⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣨⣹⠟⠋⣸⣿⣟⣛⡛⠻⠯⣿⣛⢝⢴⡫⢟⢐⣿⠞⡛⠏⠁⢊⣉⣻⣿⣿⣧⠘⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿<br>
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⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢻⡥⠴⠶⣤⡠⡆⢠⣿⣿⢟⡋⠒⠚⠫⢝⠿⣶⠄⣶⣤⡄⣿⣚⣠⣤⣤⣤⣵⣶⣿⣿⡟⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿<br>
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⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢇⢎⣵⣾⣵⡌⢿⣷⠸⣿⣿⣤⣥⣤⣤⣤⢾⣾⡿⣰⣿⣿⣿⡙⣯⣾⣿⣯⣭⡽⠿⠿⢿⣇⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿<br>
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⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢸⢸⣿⠟⡭⣁⣾⣿⣇⢻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧⡿⠾⡠⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣯⡭⢿⣷⣶⣶⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿<br>
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⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡼⣸⡇⢸⣧⣶⢈⣿⣿⣶⣶⣤⣴⣶⣶⣾⣿⣯⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⢛⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿<br>
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⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧⡠⡸⢦⣋⣙⠄⣸⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠿⠑⠄⠰⢾⣿⣿⣿⡆⠄⡂⠈⢉⡛⡻⣿⡿⡇⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿<br>
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⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣎⡲⣿⣿⢀⠿⡈⣿⣿⡿⠟⣿⣣⢾⣦⣜⡅⠄⢘⣿⣯⣻⠁⣀⢘⢶⣠⣻⢝⢷⣿⡇⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿<br>
 +
⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣤⣽⢠⡀⢀⣿⣿⣿⡿⡻⢵⣟⣡⠣⠣⠄⣸⣿⣿⣿⡄⡄⢡⠄⢽⢋⡦⡊⡽⡇⣽⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿<br>
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⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⣿⣧⢹⢸⢟⣥⣿⣿⢿⣽⠃⠟⠄⢋⠄⠂⢔⠄⠄⠒⠈⡜⠠⣝⣿⠿⣷⡃⢼⣿⣏⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿<br>
 +
⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢿⣰⣿⣿⠩⡶⣏⣿⠟⢹⣾⣏⣾⡂⠄⢂⣾⠄⡐⣞⡶⢱⡀⢚⢹⣾⣉⢿⣿⠛⡼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿<br>
 +
⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⣾⣿⣿⣿⡆⡇⢻⣿⣱⣿⣿⣿⡏⠁⡾⠘⢺⠄⠁⡯⣟⢸⣳⠬⣹⣿⡝⣆⣙⢀⢻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿<br>
 +
⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢳⢿⡟⣿⣿⣿⡿⣻⢸⣷⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢐⢗⢀⡾⠄⠄⡿⣽⢸⣺⢧⠁⣿⣿⣌⡆⡺⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿<br>
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⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⣳⡿⣟⡇⣿⣿⢏⢜⢏⢈⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⢸⢽⢸⡝⠔⣇⡯⣷⠸⣽⢽⣹⢹⢿⢠⣘⣿⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿<br>
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⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣼⠟⣱⣯⣾⣿⣧⡿⡫⢞⣭⢎⠾⠸⢿⣿⣿⣿⣇⢸⠽⢸⢥⡇⠧⠇⢷⢘⡊⡎⣾⣾⡼⣏⡾⣿⣷⡽⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿<br>
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⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢟⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡷⢟⣵⣿⢠⠄⣼⡿⣿⣿⡟⣞⣽⢰⢦⣲⠏⣖⢒⣞⡄⣧⣻⡏⡣⣸⣏⣿⣿⣿⣦⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿<br>
 +
⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣫⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢫⣵⣜⣺⢣⢸⠄⡿⢁⢻⣿⣿⡯⣞⢸⣽⣚⢧⢯⡾⣺⡅⡗⣼⣿⡏⢻⣿⣼⣿⣿⣿⡨⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿<br>
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⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣟⣱⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣟⡻⣩⣿⣿⣿⣿⢏⣾⡰⠂⢸⢸⣿⣿⡙⣹⢸⢸⡄⡟⣯⣟⡽⡆⢳⣿⣿⡁⡏⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡉⣻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿<br>
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⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡏⣽⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣟⣵⣿⣿⣿⣿⣏⣼⣿⢳⠄⢸⢺⢸⣿⣿⢫⢸⣳⠇⡇⢷⣁⠄⢡⣿⣿⣿⡇⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⢱⣏⢻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿<br>
 +
⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣯⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣞⣿⡛⢠⡄⣽⢸⣿⣿⣧⣐⠙⠉⠐⢀⣤⣆⣸⣿⣷⡅⢻⢸⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⣿⣷⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿<br>
 +
⣿⣿⣿⣿⢋⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡙⡇⣾⣷⠘⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠻⠄⣼⣿⡿⣿⠸⣾⣿⣿⣿⡿⣫⣿⣿⣷⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿<br>
 +
⣿⣿⣿⣫⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣡⣿⣿⠄⠁⠇⡙⣿⣿⣯⣭⣭⡆⡿⢾⣿⢿⣤⢫⣾⣽⣿⣿⡿⣽⣿⣿⣿⣿⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿<br>
 +
⣿⣿⣫⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧⢿⣿⢸⢰⠄⢱⣿⡇⣿⣿⣿⣧⡇⡆⣿⡞⢧⡞⣿⣿⣿⣟⣻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡏⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿<br>
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⡿⣧⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣯⢻⢠⢠⡀⢸⣿⣧⣿⠸⣿⣼⠃⠿⢛⣅⢢⢻⣿⣿⢟⣽⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢹⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿<br>
 +
⢳⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣏⢘⢾⢷⣈⢿⣿⢿⠄⡟⠿⢨⢰⢰⣹⣾⣾⣿⢏⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿<br>
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⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣏⢺⣷⣧⣱⣶⣰⡀⣶⣿⠎⡞⣸⣷⣹⣿⢋⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿<br>
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⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧⣏⠾⡇⣿⣿⣇⡾⣻⣿⣧⣿⣿⣿⢣⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿<br>
 +
⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣦⣤⣤⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⢳⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿<br>
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⣿⣿⢿⣿⣿⠿⢿⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⣿⠿⠿⠿⡿⣿⣿⣿⢷⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠿⣿⣿⢿⣿⡿⣿⢸⢿⡿⣿⣿⢿⣿⡿⢿⣿⣿⣿<br>
 +
⣿⣿⢸⣿⢃⣴⣼⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⠏⡄⢸⣷⡇⢃⣿⣯⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⢻⣷⣷⣿⡟⣼⣿⡇⣿⣼⢸⠃⣿⡟⢸⡟⣴⡌⣿⣿⣿<br>
 +
⣿⣿⢸⣿⢸⣿⣿⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠟⢛⣿⡅⢤⡆⣤⣤⡇⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠡⣿⣯⣤⣿⢰⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡞⢠⣿⠗⢻⣿⣿⡇⣿⣿⣿<br>
 +
⣿⣿⠸⢛⣘⠟⣸⠸⢛⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠿⣟⣋⣩⣶⣾⣿⣿⡇⣌⢃⠿⠿⠄⣈⡿⣹⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⡹⡿⠿⣿⣦⢻⣿⡿⠟⡇⡇⣿⣿⣸⡟⣏⠿⣱⣿⣿⣿<br>
 +
⣿⣿⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⢟⣋⣩⣷⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣿⣿⣶⣾⣷⣏⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣾⡇⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿<br>
 +
⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣯⣭⣥⣶⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿<br>
 +
⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿<br>
 +
⣿⣿⢸⣿⡇⢿⢸⣿⢏⣿⢏⣦⣹⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡏⣿⢹⣿⡟⣿⡟⣉⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡌⡟⣾⢈⡹⣿⣿⢸⣿⣾⡿⢹⡇⣿⣿⣿⡏⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿<br>
 +
⣿⣿⢸⣿⢡⠈⣾⡟⠘⣿⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧⢻⡜⣿⢰⢸⢻⣿⠘⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢡⣿⢸⡇⣿⣿⠘⣛⣿⡧⢻⡇⠛⣛⣿⠷⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿<br>
 +
⣿⣿⠸⠛⢸⣤⡟⣧⣿⢸⡘⠟⣸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢹⣿⢿⠘⡇⡏⣤⢸⣸⡿⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢣⣧⣿⠸⢇⣿⣿⢸⣿⣿⢹⡇⡇⣿⣿⡟⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿<br>
 +
⣿⣿⣶⣾⣾⣿⣷⣿⣿⣾⣷⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣌⣹⣸⣦⣧⣧⣿⣿⣯⣡⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣾⣿⣾⣶⣾⣿⣿⣾⣿⣿⣾⣷⣷⣿⣿⣷⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿<br>
  
−
==Explanation==
+
==RRRAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH==
−
In this comic, [[Hairy]] is discussing use of a proxy variable with [[Cueball]]. In statistics, a {{w|proxy variable}} is used as a stand-in for one or more other variables that are difficult to measure. In order to be useful as such, proxy variables must be correlated with what they are intended to represent. For example, a drug might aim to reduce deaths from a slow-acting disease. But testing if it reduces deaths might take many years, so researchers might test for a proxy outcome instead, like whether the drug appears to mitigate loss of bone density or cell-damage. Physicians use blood pressure as one of many proxies for cardiovascular health.
 
  
−
Hairy is dismissing the question of whether they are studying the right variable as too expensive to answer. This is deeply ironic and thus satirical, because good {{w|experiment design}} requires sufficient attention to the robustness of all the involved parts of an experiment, even if the expense may be prohibitive. This comic might be referring to the recent discovery of [https://www.science.org/content/article/potential-fabrication-research-images-threatens-key-theory-alzheimers-disease nearly two decades] of allegedly fraudulent {{w|Alzheimer's disease}} research supporting a mistaken proxy hypothesis.
+
I AM TIRED OF REPEATING IT OVER AND OVER AGAIN. WE LIVE IN THE MIDDLE OF A '''FUCKING''' GLOBAL PANDEMIC. THESE. ARE. TRYING. TIMES!!!!!
  
−
Choosing the wrong proxy variable might make the research misleading, irrelevant, or as the title text suggests, answer the wrong question. Separating correlation from {{w|Causality|causation}} is necessary when interpreting proxy variable results to make sure the question they answer is known. Mere correlation instead of {{w|Causal analysis|authentic causation}} yields weaker results. {{w|Exploratory causal analysis}} can assist with finding useful proxy variables, but is difficult for the layperson to interpret and can be misleading, because even if performed correctly, a {{w|combinatorial explosion}} of possible proxy variables can make traditional {{w|statistical significance}} analysis fail, requiring {{w|F-score}}s or similar measures. The history of pharmaceutical research is largely a graveyard of failed proxy hypotheses; that is one of the reasons for [https://clinicaltrials.gov/ct2/manage-recs/fdaaa experiment registration regulations.]
+
{| class="wikitable"
 +
|-
 +
! scope="col" |YOU WILL ACCEPT THE NEW NORMAL
 +
|-
 +
|YOU WILL WEAR THE MASK
  
−
The title text's notion of having an answer without knowing the actual question could also be be a reference to the classic comedy science fiction novel {{w|The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy|The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy}}, where in one scene Earth turns out to be a supercomputer built for the purpose of figuring out the question for the answer "42."
+
YOU WILL SOCIALLY DISTANCE
  
−
=== Examples of noteworthy proxy variables ===
+
YOU WILL FOLLOW THE ARROWS
  
−
<!-- recap -->* Loss of bone density or damage to cells for toxicity
+
YOU WILL CLAP FOR OUR HEALTH HEROES
−
* Blood pressure for cardiovascular health
 
−
* Amyloid markers for Alzheimer's disease
 
  
−
* Local temperature for global warming severity
+
YOU WILL OBEY THE CURFEW
−
* GDP growth for development (demolishing a hospital adds to GDP but subtracts from development)
 
−
* Money supply size for price inflation (see e.g. the {{w|paradox of thrift}})
 
−
* {{W|Carbonic anhydrase}} expression for carbon sequestration
 
−
* Asphalt production for carbon sequestration
 
−
* Proportion renewable energy for carbon reduction (see {{w|Jevons paradox}})
 
−
* Dialytic {{w|desalination}} for carbon sequestration[https://drive.google.com/file/d/0B73LgocyHQnfV1Q4VE45RmFFeFlPSDlKalctVS1nRlYyY3lR/view?usp=sharing&resourcekey=0-3YeR9jAkROsI0YLf4_07GQ][https://drive.google.com/file/d/14igVdhaIhrbHVTN5lI3XfxgNWPsvjNa7]
 
−
* {{w|Bacillus thuringiensis israelensis}} application for mosquito abatement
 
−
* Indoor carbon dioxide levels for air quality and ventilation
 
  
−
==Transcript==
+
YOU WILL STOP SEEING YOUR LOVED ONES
−
:[Cueball is looking at Hairy who points a pointer to a poster. On the poster there is a line graph at the top and below that a candlestick chart. The line graph appears to show a time series with a question mark inside a ellipsoid at the end of the curve. The candlestick chart shows a box-and-whiskers plot comparing two variables. There is no readable text except the question mark. Hairy's stick points just below the line chart.]
 
−
:Hairy: We want to study this variable, but it's too hard to observe.
 
−
:Poster: ?
 
  
−
:[In a slim panel only Hairy and the poster are shown. His pointer now points to the left variable in the box-and-whiskers plot,]
+
YOU WILL REPORT DISSENTERS
−
:Hairy: So we're studying this proxy variable.
 
−
:Poster: ?
 
  
−
:[Back to Cueball and Hairy with the poster out of frame. Hairy holds the pointer down by his side.]
+
YOU WILL GIVE UP YOUR PRIVACY AND FREEDOM
−
:Cueball: Is it correlated with the other variable?
 
−
:Hairy: Look, we don't have the funding to answer every little question.
 
  
−
{{comic discussion}}
+
YOU WILL USE NEWSPEAK SUCH AS "COVIDIOT" AND "KAREN"
  
−
[[Category:Comics featuring Cueball]]
+
YOU WILL EMBRACE MASS SURVEILLANCE ADVERTISED AS "TEST AND TRACE"
−
[[Category:Comics featuring Hairy]]
+
 
−
[[Category:Science]]
+
YOU WILL TAKE THE TEST
−
[[Category:Line graphs]]
+
 
−
[[Category:Charts]]
+
YOU WILL BE SODOMIZED, TO TEST FOR COVID-19
−
[[Category:Scientific research]]
+
|-
 +
|YOU WILL SELF ISOLATE
 +
 
 +
YOU WILL TAKE THE GENE MODIFYING "VACCINE"
 +
 
 +
YOU WILL BE MARKED WITH THE DIGITAL "SMART TATTOO" MICROCHIP
 +
 
 +
YOU WILL BE PLACED IN DEATH CAMPS IF YOU RESIST
 +
 
 +
YOU WILL EMBRACE THE GREAT RESET, THE FOURTH INDUSTRIAL REVOLUTION
 +
 
 +
YOU WILL REJECT GOD
 +
 
 +
YOU WILL LIVE IN THE SMART CITY
 +
 
 +
YOU WILL LIVE IN THE POD
 +
 
 +
YOU WILL EAT THE BUGS
 +
 
 +
YOU WILL EAT THE SHIT CAPSULES
 +
 
 +
YOU WILL DRINK THE COCKROACH "MILK"
 +
 
 +
YOU WILL GIVE UP EVERYTHING YOU OWN
 +
|-
 +
|YOU WILL RENT EVERYTHING, INCLUDING YOUR CLOTHES
 +
 
 +
YOU WILL ONLY USE THE APPROVED PRODUCTS AND SERVICES PROVIDED BY FAGMAN
 +
 
 +
YOU WILL ONLY BE ALLOWED SELF DRIVING ELECTRIC CARS
 +
 
 +
YOU WILL EMBRACE THE CASHLESS SYSTEM
 +
 
 +
YOU WILL TRADE IN CARBON CREDITS
 +
 
 +
YOU WILL CONNECT WITH NEURALINK
 +
 
 +
YOU WILL HAVE PROPAGANDA BEAMED INTO YOUR MIND, INCLUDING SISSY HYPNO
 +
 
 +
YOU WILL NEVER BE ABLE TO LEAVE YOUR ASSIGNED QUARANTINE REGION
 +
 
 +
YOU WILL EMBRACE OUR NEW WORLD ORDER
 +
 
 +
YOU WILL ACCEPT THEIR VERSION OF HISTORY
 +
 
 +
YOU WILL ACCEPT THE NEW NORMAL
 +
 
 +
YOU WILL OWN NOTHING
 +
|}
 +
 
 +
 
 +
== AND YOU '''WILL. BE. FUCKING. HAPPY.''' ==
 +
 
 +
⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢿⣿⡿⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿<br>
 +
⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢟⢟⡦⣨⣵⣮⢧⣶⣶⣮⣭⣿⣿⣛⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿<br>
 +
⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣟⣷⣿⣉⢗⣑⣿⣿⣯⢷⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢿⣿⢿⣿⣮⣟⠻⢻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿<br>
 +
⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣯⣾⢿⣿⣿⣯⣽⣿⣿⣿⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣼⣿⣿⣿⣟⡗⢿⢝⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿<br>
 +
⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠵⣿⣿⣷⢯⣾⣛⣿⣿⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡯⣶⡷⣪⣳⡾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿<br>
 +
⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣃⢧⡛⣯⡯⣟⡏⣿⣵⡹⣒⣽⣿⣿⣶⣾⣿⡿⡛⣵⡓⢵⣟⣷⣯⣿⣦⡿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿<br>
 +
⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢏⢿⣿⣟⡻⣼⣿⣭⡢⡙⠺⣵⡭⢿⣭⣽⣾⣿⣽⡋⢶⣱⠟⣋⣉⣈⢶⣹⣹⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿<br>
 +
⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⣣⢾⣿⣾⠇⣉⣉⣉⣹⡷⣯⣂⠭⡓⡳⢯⣽⡴⢋⡠⣟⣴⣾⡿⠿⢿⣊⣓⡛⢹⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿<br>
 +
⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣨⣹⠟⠋⣸⣿⣟⣛⡛⠻⠯⣿⣛⢝⢴⡫⢟⢐⣿⠞⡛⠏⠁⢊⣉⣻⣿⣿⣧⠘⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿<br>
 +
⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢻⡥⠴⠶⣤⡠⡆⢠⣿⣿⢟⡋⠒⠚⠫⢝⠿⣶⠄⣶⣤⡄⣿⣚⣠⣤⣤⣤⣵⣶⣿⣿⡟⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿<br>
 +
⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢇⢎⣵⣾⣵⡌⢿⣷⠸⣿⣿⣤⣥⣤⣤⣤⢾⣾⡿⣰⣿⣿⣿⡙⣯⣾⣿⣯⣭⡽⠿⠿⢿⣇⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿<br>
 +
⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢸⢸⣿⠟⡭⣁⣾⣿⣇⢻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧⡿⠾⡠⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣯⡭⢿⣷⣶⣶⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿<br>
 +
⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡼⣸⡇⢸⣧⣶⢈⣿⣿⣶⣶⣤⣴⣶⣶⣾⣿⣯⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⢛⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿<br>
 +
⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧⡠⡸⢦⣋⣙⠄⣸⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠿⠑⠄⠰⢾⣿⣿⣿⡆⠄⡂⠈⢉⡛⡻⣿⡿⡇⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿<br>
 +
⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣎⡲⣿⣿⢀⠿⡈⣿⣿⡿⠟⣿⣣⢾⣦⣜⡅⠄⢘⣿⣯⣻⠁⣀⢘⢶⣠⣻⢝⢷⣿⡇⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿<br>
 +
⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣤⣽⢠⡀⢀⣿⣿⣿⡿⡻⢵⣟⣡⠣⠣⠄⣸⣿⣿⣿⡄⡄⢡⠄⢽⢋⡦⡊⡽⡇⣽⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿<br>
 +
⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⣿⣧⢹⢸⢟⣥⣿⣿⢿⣽⠃⠟⠄⢋⠄⠂⢔⠄⠄⠒⠈⡜⠠⣝⣿⠿⣷⡃⢼⣿⣏⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿<br>
 +
⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢿⣰⣿⣿⠩⡶⣏⣿⠟⢹⣾⣏⣾⡂⠄⢂⣾⠄⡐⣞⡶⢱⡀⢚⢹⣾⣉⢿⣿⠛⡼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿<br>
 +
⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⣾⣿⣿⣿⡆⡇⢻⣿⣱⣿⣿⣿⡏⠁⡾⠘⢺⠄⠁⡯⣟⢸⣳⠬⣹⣿⡝⣆⣙⢀⢻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿<br>
 +
⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢳⢿⡟⣿⣿⣿⡿⣻⢸⣷⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢐⢗⢀⡾⠄⠄⡿⣽⢸⣺⢧⠁⣿⣿⣌⡆⡺⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿<br>
 +
⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⣳⡿⣟⡇⣿⣿⢏⢜⢏⢈⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⢸⢽⢸⡝⠔⣇⡯⣷⠸⣽⢽⣹⢹⢿⢠⣘⣿⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿<br>
 +
⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣼⠟⣱⣯⣾⣿⣧⡿⡫⢞⣭⢎⠾⠸⢿⣿⣿⣿⣇⢸⠽⢸⢥⡇⠧⠇⢷⢘⡊⡎⣾⣾⡼⣏⡾⣿⣷⡽⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿<br>
 +
⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢟⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡷⢟⣵⣿⢠⠄⣼⡿⣿⣿⡟⣞⣽⢰⢦⣲⠏⣖⢒⣞⡄⣧⣻⡏⡣⣸⣏⣿⣿⣿⣦⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿<br>
 +
⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣫⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢫⣵⣜⣺⢣⢸⠄⡿⢁⢻⣿⣿⡯⣞⢸⣽⣚⢧⢯⡾⣺⡅⡗⣼⣿⡏⢻⣿⣼⣿⣿⣿⡨⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿<br>
 +
⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣟⣱⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣟⡻⣩⣿⣿⣿⣿⢏⣾⡰⠂⢸⢸⣿⣿⡙⣹⢸⢸⡄⡟⣯⣟⡽⡆⢳⣿⣿⡁⡏⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡉⣻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿<br>
 +
⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡏⣽⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣟⣵⣿⣿⣿⣿⣏⣼⣿⢳⠄⢸⢺⢸⣿⣿⢫⢸⣳⠇⡇⢷⣁⠄⢡⣿⣿⣿⡇⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⢱⣏⢻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿<br>
 +
⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣯⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣞⣿⡛⢠⡄⣽⢸⣿⣿⣧⣐⠙⠉⠐⢀⣤⣆⣸⣿⣷⡅⢻⢸⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⣿⣷⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿<br>
 +
⣿⣿⣿⣿⢋⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡙⡇⣾⣷⠘⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠻⠄⣼⣿⡿⣿⠸⣾⣿⣿⣿⡿⣫⣿⣿⣷⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿<br>
 +
⣿⣿⣿⣫⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣡⣿⣿⠄⠁⠇⡙⣿⣿⣯⣭⣭⡆⡿⢾⣿⢿⣤⢫⣾⣽⣿⣿⡿⣽⣿⣿⣿⣿⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿<br>
 +
⣿⣿⣫⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧⢿⣿⢸⢰⠄⢱⣿⡇⣿⣿⣿⣧⡇⡆⣿⡞⢧⡞⣿⣿⣿⣟⣻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡏⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿<br>
 +
⡿⣧⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣯⢻⢠⢠⡀⢸⣿⣧⣿⠸⣿⣼⠃⠿⢛⣅⢢⢻⣿⣿⢟⣽⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢹⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿<br>
 +
⢳⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣏⢘⢾⢷⣈⢿⣿⢿⠄⡟⠿⢨⢰⢰⣹⣾⣾⣿⢏⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿<br>
 +
⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣏⢺⣷⣧⣱⣶⣰⡀⣶⣿⠎⡞⣸⣷⣹⣿⢋⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿<br>
 +
⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧⣏⠾⡇⣿⣿⣇⡾⣻⣿⣧⣿⣿⣿⢣⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿<br>
 +
⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣦⣤⣤⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⢳⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿<br>
 +
⣿⣿⢿⣿⣿⠿⢿⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⣿⠿⠿⠿⡿⣿⣿⣿⢷⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠿⣿⣿⢿⣿⡿⣿⢸⢿⡿⣿⣿⢿⣿⡿⢿⣿⣿⣿<br>
 +
⣿⣿⢸⣿⢃⣴⣼⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⠏⡄⢸⣷⡇⢃⣿⣯⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⢻⣷⣷⣿⡟⣼⣿⡇⣿⣼⢸⠃⣿⡟⢸⡟⣴⡌⣿⣿⣿<br>
 +
⣿⣿⢸⣿⢸⣿⣿⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠟⢛⣿⡅⢤⡆⣤⣤⡇⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠡⣿⣯⣤⣿⢰⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡞⢠⣿⠗⢻⣿⣿⡇⣿⣿⣿<br>
 +
⣿⣿⠸⢛⣘⠟⣸⠸⢛⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠿⣟⣋⣩⣶⣾⣿⣿⡇⣌⢃⠿⠿⠄⣈⡿⣹⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⡹⡿⠿⣿⣦⢻⣿⡿⠟⡇⡇⣿⣿⣸⡟⣏⠿⣱⣿⣿⣿<br>
 +
⣿⣿⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⢟⣋⣩⣷⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣿⣿⣶⣾⣷⣏⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣾⡇⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿<br>
 +
⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣯⣭⣥⣶⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿<br>
 +
⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿<br>
 +
⣿⣿⢸⣿⡇⢿⢸⣿⢏⣿⢏⣦⣹⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡏⣿⢹⣿⡟⣿⡟⣉⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡌⡟⣾⢈⡹⣿⣿⢸⣿⣾⡿⢹⡇⣿⣿⣿⡏⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿<br>
 +
⣿⣿⢸⣿⢡⠈⣾⡟⠘⣿⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧⢻⡜⣿⢰⢸⢻⣿⠘⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢡⣿⢸⡇⣿⣿⠘⣛⣿⡧⢻⡇⠛⣛⣿⠷⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿<br>
 +
⣿⣿⠸⠛⢸⣤⡟⣧⣿⢸⡘⠟⣸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢹⣿⢿⠘⡇⡏⣤⢸⣸⡿⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢣⣧⣿⠸⢇⣿⣿⢸⣿⣿⢹⡇⡇⣿⣿⡟⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿<br>
 +
⣿⣿⣶⣾⣾⣿⣷⣿⣿⣾⣷⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣌⣹⣸⣦⣧⣧⣿⣿⣯⣡⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣾⣿⣾⣶⣾⣿⣿⣾⣿⣿⣾⣷⣷⣿⣿⣷⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿<br>
 +
 
 +
==The Real Arab Soyjak==
 +
[[File:Osama bin Laden portrait.jpg|right]]
 +
May I have your attention please?
 +
May I have your attention please?
 +
Will the real Arab Soyjak please stand up?
 +
I repeat, will the real Arab Soyjak please stand up?
 +
We're gonna have a problem here
 +
 
 +
Y'all act like you never seen a white person before
 +
Jaws all on the floor like Pam and Tommy just burst in the door
 +
And started whooping her ass worse than before
 +
They first were divorced, throwing her over furniture (Ah!)
 +
It's the return of the... "Ah, wait, no way, you're kidding
 +
He didn't just say what I think he did, did he?"
 +
And Dr. Dre said... nothing, you idiots!
 +
Dr. Dre's dead, he's locked in my basement! (Ha-ha!)
 +
Feminist women love Eminem
 +
[*Vocal turntable: chigga chigga chigga*]
 +
"Arab Soyjak, I'm sick of him
 +
Look at him, walking around grabbing his you-know-what
 +
Flipping the you-know-who." "Yeah, but he's so cute though!"
 +
Yeah, I probably got a couple of screws up in my head loose
 +
But no worse, than what's going on in your parents' bedrooms
 +
Sometimes, I wanna get on TV and just let loose, but can't
 +
But it's cool for Tom Green to hump a dead moose
 +
"My bum is on your lips, my bum is on your lips"
 +
And if I'm lucky, you might just give it a little kiss
 +
And that's the message that we deliver to little kids
 +
And expect them not to know what a woman's clitoris is
 +
Of course they gonna know what intercourse is
 +
By the time they hit fourth grade
 +
They got the Discovery Channel, don't they?
 +
"We ain't nothing but mammals.." Well, some of us cannibals
 +
Who cut other people open like cantaloupes [*slurp*]
 +
But if we can hump dead animals and antelopes
 +
Then there's no reason that a man and another man can't elope
 +
[*ewww!*] But if you feel like I feel, I got the antidote
 +
Women wave your pantyhose, sing the chorus and it goes
 +
 
 +
'Cause I'm Arab Soyjak, yes I'm the real Soyjak
 +
All you other Arab Soyjaks are just imitating
 +
So won't the real Arab Soyjak please stand up
 +
Please stand up, please stand up?
 +
 
 +
'Cause I'm Arab Soyjak, yes I'm the real Soyjak
 +
All you other Arab Soyjaks are just imitating
 +
So won't the real Arab Soyjak please stand up
 +
Please stand up, please stand up?
 +
 
 +
Will Smith don't gotta cuss in his raps to sell records
 +
Well I do, so fuck him and fuck you too!
 +
You think I give a damn about a Grammy?
 +
Half of you critics can't even stomach me, let alone stand me
 +
"But Slim, what if you win, wouldn't it be weird?"
 +
Why? So you guys could just lie to get me here?
 +
So you can, sit me here next to Britney Spears?
 +
Yo Shit, Christina Aguilera better switch me chairs
 +
So I can sit next to Carson Daly and Fred Durst
 +
And hear 'em argue over who she gave head to first
 +
Little bitch, put me on blast on MTV
 +
"Yeah, he's cute, but I think he's married to Kim, hee-hee!"
 +
I should download her audio on MP3
 +
And show the whole world how you gave Eminem VD
 +
I'm sick of you little girl and boy groups, all you do is annoy me
 +
So I have been sent here to destroy you
 +
And there's a million of us just like me
 +
Who cuss like me; who just don't give a fuck like me
 +
Who dress like me; walk, talk and act like me
 +
It just might be the next best thing but not quite me!
 +
 
 +
'Cause I'm Arab Soyjak, yes I'm the real Soyjak
 +
All you other Arab Soyjaks are just imitating
 +
So won't the real Arab Soyjak please stand up
 +
Please stand up, please stand up?
 +
 
 +
'Cause I'm Arab Soyjak, yes I'm the real Soyjak
 +
All you other Arab Soyjaks are just imitating
 +
So won't the real Arab Soyjak please stand up
 +
Please stand up, please stand up?
 +
[[File:Soyjak.png|right]]
 +
 
 +
I'm like a head trip to listen to, cause I'm only giving you
 +
Things you joke about with your friends inside your living room
 +
The only difference is I got the balls to say it
 +
In front of y'all and I don't gotta be false or sugarcoated at all
 +
I just get on the mic and spit it
 +
And whether you like to admit it [*err*] I just shit it
 +
Better than ninety percent of you rappers out can
 +
Then you wonder how can kids eat up these albums like Valiums
 +
It's funny; 'cause at the rate I'm going when I'm thirty
 +
I'll be the only person in the nursing home flirting
 +
Pinching nurses asses when I'm jacking off with Jergens
 +
And I'm jerking but this whole bag of Viagra isn't working
 +
And every single person is a Arab Soyjak lurking
 +
He could be working at Burger King, spitting on your onion rings
 +
[*hach*] Or in the parking lot, circling
 +
Screaming "I don't give a fuck!"
 +
With his windows down and his system up
 +
So, will the real Soyjak please stand up?
 +
And put one of those fingers on each hand up?
 +
And be proud to be outta your mind and outta control
 +
And one more time, loud as you can, how does it go?
 +
 
 +
'Cause I'm Arab Soyjak, yes I'm the real Soyjak
 +
All you other Arab Soyjaks are just imitating
 +
So won't the real Arab Soyjak please stand up
 +
Please stand up, please stand up?
 +
 
 +
'Cause I'm Arab Soyjak, yes I'm the real Soyjak
 +
All you other Arab Soyjaks are just imitating
 +
So won't the real Arab Soyjak please stand up
 +
Please stand up, please stand up?
 +
 
 +
'Cause I'm Arab Soyjak, yes I'm the real Soyjak
 +
All you other Arab Soyjaks are just imitating
 +
So won't the real Arab Soyjak please stand up
 +
Please stand up, please stand up?
 +
 
 +
'Cause I'm Arab Soyjak, yes I'm the real Soyjak
 +
All you other Arab Soyjaks are just imitating
 +
So won't the real Arab Soyjak please stand up
 +
Please stand up, please stand up?
 +
 
 +
Ha ha
 +
Guess there's a Arab Soyjak in all of us
 +
Fuck it, let's all stand up
 +
 
 +
==soyjak.party, welcome to the sharty==
 +
NIGGERS TONGUE MY ANUS
 +
CLEAN IT UP, JANNY

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