2765: Escape Speed/Transcript

Explain xkcd: It's 'cause you're dumb.
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Below, you will find a complete transcript for 2765: Escape Speed.

  • Overview
[An interactive comic featuring a large world with many planets and objects, navigable by a small spaceship. The ship is affected by the gravity of the planets and objects and controllable by arrow keys. The up arrow activates the main engine, adding forward speed; the down arrow activates reverse (bow) thrusters. Left and right arrows activate thrusters which rotate the spaceship. The spaceship features a "radar" - grey dots around it. The placement of the dots around indicate directions to nearby planets; the size and shade of gray indicate distance. The playing field is a viewport into space, the ship is always in the center and the viewport scrolls as the ship moves through space - the player sees only relatively small part of the overall game world. Orientation is a bit difficult, exacerbated by the fact that the view automatically rotates according to the local gradient of gravity. The world features collectible items (small gray circles) and powerups (grey hollow stars). Sometimes these are collocated, i.e. a gray circle appears in the hollow center of a gray star. When the ship flies close to a collectible or powerup, it disappears and a message is shown in the lower part of the viewport. After picking up most collectibles, their names are added to the "You've found" list below the playing field; unless you are viewing a mobile-device version, where the playing area is optimised to full-screen. Some collectibles display a message only and do not add an item to the list. The player can return to the starting position (keeping all powerups and collected items) by clicking the Home button in the bottom right of the playing field.]
  • Starting planet
[A tiny grassy planet with a few trees and bushes and four collectibles. A planet is so tiny that it can be seen whole in the game's viewport. This is where the player starts, or returns after clicking the Home button. Initially the navigation is difficult because of low initial engine thrust and strong gravity of the Origin planet nearby affecting movement. There's a collectible right up from the starting position (shows a message only and is not reflected in the "You've found" list)]
Wheeee!
[Other features of the planet, as they are encountered by carefully moving just above the planet's surface in the clockwise direction are:]
[A tree, about twice as high as the spaceship]
[A collectible low in the grass]
You found a cool bug!
[A small tree and a larger tree to the right, with a collectible up its branches]
You found a pretty leaf!
[A tree sapling]
[Beret Guy pointing his arm up. From that position the surface of the Origin planet can be seen above.]
Beret Guy: WOW!
[A large tree]
[Cueball and Megan standing together.]
[A small tree]
[Another collectible just off the surface]
You found a rock with neat stripes!
[A small tree]
  • Origin planet
[The planet has vegetation and features many people, landscape objects and collectibles, and it has a shaft through the center. To get there, just launch off the starting planet and let the gravity pull the ship towards Origin. The planet is hard to leave without any powerups, unless one uses the shaft to gain more momentum by thrusting while moving through the center. The features of the planet include (clockwise from the point closest to the starting planet):]
[A billboard]
Welcome to Origin! You can never leave™
[A rollercoaster with a duck sitting on it. At the middle of it there's a (hidden) entrance to the shaft. There's a collectible item above.]
Be careful; this roller coaster can be disorienting! (message only)
[A billboard to the right of the rollercoaster]
Caution: Long vertical drop
[A spider figure; going straight up from there you can reach the Giant Spider planet]
[A radiotelescope; going up you can reach Voyager 2]
Receiving transmission
[Cueball and White Hat]
White Hat: I bet the voyager spacecraft could teach you a thing or two about speed. Of course, you'd have to catch up to them first...
[A cell tower with 5G antennas and the satellite from xkcd comic 1992: Safety sat on top. There's a collectible next to it.]
You found a 5G seagull
[A tyrannosaurus, Ponytail and Cueball standing next to a St. Louis Arch-shaped hole in the ground. Launching from where the T-Rex stands, you can reach the Jurassic Park planet.]
[A miniature of the Andal planet, marking the direction to it.]
[A pyramid with a football on top; leads to the Space Soccer Game planet]
[Ponytail sitting on top of a pyramid, Megan standing at the base of it]
Ponytail: If you want a better spaceship, you need to visit another planet.
Megan: But if I want to visit another planet, I need a better spaceship!
[A pyramid with Saturn on top; leads to the Saturn]
[Cueball and White Hat]
Cueball: I can't believe the Air and Space Museum's new exhibit has a real black hole!
White Hat: Is that... safe?
Cueball: It's OK, they've got a protective case around it.
[A few clouds]
[A recess in the ground with a monument shaped as Earth continents in a hyperelliptical projection. Hairy is standing next to it.]
Hairy: Even if you did find a crack in the crystal sphere, there's no way you'd be able to escape its gravitational pull. You'd need some kind of a hyperdrive for that.
[A spaceship from xkcd comic 2630: Shuttle Skeleton. Going up from there you can reach Shuttle Skeleton planet.]
[St. Louis Arch. There's a hidden entrance to the tunnel under it; launching from the tunnel you can reach the Hollow planet. An intelligible sign is posted next to it. When the spaceship passes near the sign, a message appears:]
The St. Louis arch is also known as the gateway to space.
[To the right of the Arch Ponytail stands with three kids looking like Hairy, Megan and Cueball.]
Ponytail: The St. Louis Arch is also known as the gateway to space.
[A miniature of the Roche Lobe Earth, marking the direction to it]
[A small building and a strange tower with a spiked orb on top and two collectibles next to it, one close to the tower top, another one hidden at the base on the right side.]
You found an orb wren!
You found 11 squares packed into a larger square!
[Hairbun and another person; launching from there you can reach the What if? planet]
Hairbun: Boston? That's in North America, on the Subway planet. It's straight up from the secret glade, you can't miss it.
[A grassy area with two collectibles]
You found a tumbleweed!
You found a marsh wren!
[A quintet of hairy and bearded people playing and singing]
It's more than a feeling
More than a feeling
[A collectible high off the surface right to the band]
You found a tiny meteorite! (message only)
[Another collectible higher off (reachable only after you visit another planet and find engine powerup)]
You found a single grain of salt!
[A spiral on a pedestal; going straight up from there leads you to the Uzumaki aka the Spiral planet]
[A radiotelescope; going up you can reach Voyager 1]
Receiving transmission
[Cueball and Megan]
Megan: It's like my astronomy teacher always said: "Shoot for the Moon -- even if you miss, you might make a crack in the crystal sphere that imprisons us all in this universe."
[A collectible clockwise from Megan]
You found a holographic Charizard business card
[A patch of trees and bushes]
A bush: SHHH.
[A collectible between two lower trees next to the talking bush; launching from there you can reach the Subway planet.]
You found a secret glade
[Another collectible hidden up a large tree next to the secret glade]
You found a normal-looking leaf!
[In the center of the planet there's a round hollow with a collectible in the exact middle]
Welcome to liminal space (message only)
[Next to the hollow there's a cave with another collectible]
You found a DVD of The Core (2003)!
[In the cave there's Megan, her hair flying around her head in microgravity]
Megan: The Oberth effect states that firing thrusters deeper in a gravity well adds more kinetic energy.
[Applying the above hint from Megan, you can launch high above the St. Luis Arch to reach a star-shaped powerup (subtracts 1.5 from thrust recovery time)]
Nice flying! Your tanks recharge faster now.
[Launching like that you can reach the Hollow planet]
  • Hollow planet
[The planet is just a crust with a few holes through which you can fall into the center. Near the center, Ponytail and White Hat fly in microgravity.]
White Hat: It's weird how a hollow shell doesn't exert gravitational force on objects inside it.
Ponytail: Oh, so that's why we don't feel a pull from the crystal sphere.
[Next to White Hat and Ponytail there's a powerup (+0.4 to thrust duration)]
You found a sixth Lagrange point! Your thrusters are more efficient now.
[On the surface of the Hollow planet there's a bunch of signs with arrows pointing up and the names of the planets which lay in the direction. These are (clockwise):]
Origin and Subway
Earth (compromise projection)
Round planet
Exit
Uzumaki
[There's a powerup between "Round planet" and "Exit" signs]
You found a glass of heavy water! Your engine gets a bit more powerful.
  • Round planet
[A perfectly round planet, somewhat smaller than the Origin, without any vegetation but with some architecture and people on it. You can reach it by following a sign on the Hollow planet or by launching from the Origin planet from the tower with an orb on top. Its features are (clockwise):]
[The Great Wall of China]
[Two small figures of Megan and Cueball on the Great Wall]
Cueball: The Great Wall of China is the only Human-made structure you can see space from.
[A few stones with a collectible and powerup above them (-0.75 to thrust recovery time)]
You found a sensible cheese platter. Your tanks recharge a bit faster now.
[The Stonehenge with a collectible between megaliths and Cueball standing next to it]
You found a swatch pop-out wristwatch!
[Hairbun walking on absurdly high stilts]
[Three spaceships flying just above the surface. The leading one transmits a message:]
Rogue group, use your harpoons and tow cables! Go for the legs!
[A powerup just above the middle ship]
Your engine gets a bit more powerful.
[A volleyball net. Cueball is jumping in the air to hit a volleyball on the right side of the net while Ponytail is juggling three bowling pins on the left side.]
[An airplane towing a long, narrow banner with a message printed across, not along it]
Does
any
one
know
how
to
get
this
thing
to
print
in
land
scape
mode?
[Beret Guy climbing a 5G tower with some fruit(?) hanging off the antennas. Cueball is standing next to it.]
[A small volcano cone]
[Huge gallows with a large flag on a pole hanging on it. The pole of the flag is twisted into a shape partly resembling an infinity sign; the loose end of the pole pierces the flag. A relatively large Cueball figure stands next to it.]
  • Uzumaki
[A large spiral overgrown with grass and some other vegetation. Features (clockwise):]
[The outside of the spiral]
[A collectible and a powerup (-0.75 to thrust recovery time)]
You found a single caffeine molecule! Your tanks recharge a bit faster now.
[A single tree]
[A pack of three birds flying]
[A group of stones in an area free of vegetation]
[The "entrance" to the spiral with a collectible, displaying a message only]
EXIT ONLY
[The inside of the spiral]
[Cueball running]
[A collectible]
You found a festive but somehow unnerving holiday card from Junji Ito!
[A bush]
[A collectible]
You found a podcast episode!
[Another collectible]
You found a friendly bee!
[A dead bush]
[A collectible]
You found an ink cartridge!
[A free-roaming Roomba]
Roomba: WHIRRR
[A collectible just above Roomba]
'You're going the wrong way!' (message only)
[Another collectible]
You found a spiral-cut diamond!
[Still another collectible]
You found a golden radio tuned to 1.618 MHz!
[Beret Guy standing]
Beret Guy: I like spirals!
[A collectible]
You found a burrito!
[Another collectible]
You found a cool pair of shoes with flames on the side!
[Still another collectible]
You found a scroll lock key!
[A small tree]
[A collectible]
You found a primordial black hole!
[A collectible and a powerup right at the center of the spiral (+2.5 to thrust duration)]
You found a tree-filled grove and a nice spot for quiet contemplation Your thrusters are significantly more efficient now.
[The center of the spiral is a dead end - one needs to fly all the way back out or just hit the Home button]
  • Guitar Ship planet
[A planet shaped like a guitar seen in perspective looking from the bottom of the body, with a dome on the back side. The planet lies close to Uzumaki, one can reach it by observing the spaceship's radar. Within the dome, there's the Boston skyline. Just over the dome there's a collectible.]
You found a guitar pick!
[When the Boston planet is uncloaked, orange line subway token appears near the guitar's neck]
Orange line deactivated!
  • Spacetime Soccer game planet
[A tiny planet with a smooth surface and a distorted soccer field marked around it. You can get there by launching from the pyramid with a soccer ball on top, located on the Origin. The goals and goal area lines are on the opposite sides of the planet (let's say, to the east and west), distorted into curved trapezoids. The touch lines (side lines) are sections of hyperbolas with the vertices closest to the planet at the north and south poles, extending symmetrically to some distance from the planet. There is no goal line; in this geometry it should be the extended axis. What seems to be penalty lines, but drawn incorrectly to join the side lines instead of going back to the goal line, are sections of an ellipse. The halfway line appears twice joining the four ends of hyperbolic side lines, together with two halves of the center circle. The field utilizes the concept from xkcd comic 2705: Spacetime soccer, but inversed: the gravity well is located at both goals, not in the center. Hairy, Megan, Cueball and Ponytail are playing. Ponytail has just kicked a football. Each goal has a powerup inside (+0.4 to thrust duration)]
GOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAAALLLLLLLLLLLLL!!! Your thrusters are more efficient now.
GOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAAALLLLLLLLLLLLL!!! Your engine gets a bit more powerful.
[Another powerup lies at a pole of the planet]
You've found a sunspot. Your launch speed has increased.
[Still another power up lies at the center spot on one of the copies of the half-way line (+0.4 to thrust duration)]
You found the 3 million point line. Your thrusters are more efficient now.
  • Saturn
[A planet with rings, and a soccer ball inside; one of the ball's white hexagon is surfacing in the north pole area. You can reach it by launching from a Saturn-topped pyramid on Origin. There's a collectible at the equator, below the rings.]
You found a really cool data point!
[A powerup is located at the south pole]
You found a block of scandium! Your engine gets a little more powerful.
[Another powerup at middle latitudes of the northern hemisphere]
You found a pair of platonic solids, not quite touching! Your engine gets a little more powerful.
  • Andal
[A small rocky and grassy planet. Features (clockwise):]
[A T-shaped tower with a powerup on top (-0.75 to thrust recovery time)]
What a nice place for a ship to sit! Your tanks recharge a bit faster now.
[Two fantasy animals: one looks like a centaur, the other as a horse-headed centaur. Both have sickle-shaped blades at the ends of their tails. There's a powerup above them. (+0.4 to thrust duration)]
You found two Andalites, one canonical! Your thrusters are more efficient now.
[A powerup in a small recess in the ground]
You found baby shoes (and baby)! Your engine gets a little more powerful.
[Cueball and Megan facing each other]
Megan: The M.I.T. cloaking device only affects the electroweak and nuclear forces. Gravity is the odd one out, as usual.
[A powerup next to Megan (+0.4 to thrust duration)]
You found a friend. Your thrusters are more efficient now.
  • Compromise Projection of Earth
[A huge distorted map of all land masses of Earth, freely floating in space like asteroids. You can get there by following the sign on the hollow planet or the Earth map monument on Origin. You can navigate your ship within the spaces where oceans and seas would be. There are several collectibles and powerups.]
[A collectible and a powerup at the North Sea]
You found the Principality of Sealand! Your engine gets a little more powerful.
[A collectible in the northern Atlantic Ocean]
You found the Heart of the Ocean! It was drifting around in space.
[When the Boston planet is uncloaked, red line subway token appears next to Boston, Massachusetts]
Red line deactivated!
[A collectible off the West African coastline]
You found a whale shark!
[A collectible and a powerup next to Rhode Island]
You found a Rhode Island the size of an ant! Your engine gets a little more powerful.
[A power up off the southern Australian coast]
You found an icosahedral d10. Your engine gets a little more powerful.
[A collectible by the Alexander Island of Antarctica]
You found some microbial life!
[A collectible on the Western coast of Myanmar near the Strait of Malacca]
You found some tin from the Pantai Remis mine!
[A collectible next to the Celebes Island of Indonesia]
You found a sparkling gem!
[A collectible near the Kamchatka peninsula in Eastern Russia]
You found a piece of pumice floating in space!
  • Voyager 1
[The Voyager 1 space probe. You can reach it by launching from a radiotelescope next to the spiral monument on Origin. There's a collectible and a powerup next to its dish antenna.]
You found Voyager 1! Some of its great speed rubs off on you. Your engine thrust has increased significantly.
  • Voyager 2
[The Voyager 2 space probe. You can reach it by launching from a radiotelescope next to the spider monument on Origin. There's a collectible and a powerup next to its dish antenna.]
You found Voyager 2! Some of its great speed rubs off on you. Your engine thrust has increased significantly.
  • SafetySat
[The cube satellite from xkcd comic 1992: SafetySat. There's a collectible in front of its laser pointers.]
You found a first of its kind
[A powerup next to software-defined radio (+0.4 to thrust duration)]
Your thrusters are more efficient now.
[A powerup next to crude oil tank (+0.5 to launch speed)]
The more refined oil had a dinner engagement. Your launch speed has increased.
  • Shuttle Skeleton planet
[A small planet shaped like a spaceship from xkcd comic 2630: Shuttle Skeleton. You can get there by launching from like-shaped monument on Origin or in northwestern direction from Alaska on Compromise Projection of Earth.]
[A powerup next to the left-hand engine (+0.4 to thrust duration)]
A little upgrade works wonders on fuel efficiency. Your thrusters are more efficient now.
[A collectible at the tip of the ship's bow]
You found a piece of space shuttle food!
[By launching straight from the engines of the Skeleton Shuttle you can find a lone collectible in the void of space, where the hidden Boston planet is. You can try finding it by observing the radar, because the hidden planet still has gravity. Once you've visited Shuttle skeleton, it is a good chance to get it, or it will be inside the Boston planet once it is de-cloaked].
You found a strangely heavy subway token!
  • Giant Spider
[A giant spider floating in space. You can get there by launching from the spider figure on Origin. Eight people are standing on the tips of the spiders legs: Hairbun of fourth left leg, Hairy on third left one, White Hat on second left, Cueball on front left, Megan on front right leg, another Cueball on second right one, Beret Guy on third right and Black Hat on the fourth right leg. There's a collectible next to the tip of the spider's abdomen.]
You found a spider-silk scarf!
[The spider holds a powerup in its pincers]
You found a friendly jumping spider. Your engine gets a little more powerful.
  • Diffraction Spikes Star
[A very spiky star shaped like the one from xkcd comic 2762: Diffraction Spikes]
[A collectible at the tip of a long spike]
You found a hydrogen ion!
[A collectible at the tip of a short spike]
You found a piece of coronium! Wait, no, iron.
  • Roche Lobe Earth
[This is a small, distorted, drop-shaped Earth with oceans and continents of the northern hemisphere. There's the Moon close by. The distortion looks like if the Moon's tidal forces is pulling northern Atlatic Ocean really hard. The planet can be reached by launching from the like-shaped statue on Origin. Cueball is standing on the surface roughly about the place of the southern U.S.A. There's a collectible off the California coastline.]
You found a curious Humboldt squid!
[Another collectible lies off the Japan coast]
You found a bathyscaphe at the Marianas Trench!
[When the Boston planet has been uncloaked, the green line subway token appears on the East Coast of U.S.A., where the city of Boston is located]
Green line deactivated!
[There's a collectible on the far side of the Moon]
You found a wayward Roomba full of moondust!
  • Dark Matter Planet
[A small, irregular planet with a black center (normal planets have white centers) and an insciption "DARK MATTER" inside, repeated three times. On its surface there are two squirrels and Hairbun.]
Hairbun: I found it!
[There's a powerup anti-clockwise from Hairbun]
You found a delicate music box. Your engine is a little more powerful now.
  • Jurassic Park planet
[A big planet with weak gravity, a lot of grass, and many dinosaur figures, some repeating a few times. You can get there by launching form a dinosaur statue on Origin. At one place on the surface Hairy and Megan are being greeted by dr John Hammond.]
Welcome... to Jurassic Park
[There are several powerups and collectibles, going clockwise from the visitors:]
[A powerup (-0.75 to thrust recovery time)]
But what if gravity doesn't actually exist? Your tanks recharge a bit faster now.
[Another powerup]
Today is a good day I think for space exploration. Your engine gets a little more powerful.
[A collectible]
You found a tiny pteranodon!
[Another collectible]
You found a baby hedgehog!
  • Comet 67P Churyumov-Gerasimenko
[A small, potato-shaped body. You can get there by launching form the rollercoaster on Origin. Features (clockwise):]
[Remains of a crashed spacecraft, presumably Rosetta, with a powerup and a collectible (+0.5 to launch speed)]
You found The Long Now Foundation's nickel paperweight containing an archive of every published Animorphs book! Your launch speed has increased.
[Hairbun standing]
[A small three-legged spacecraft, presumably Philae]
Philae: BEEP BOOP
[Cueball standing next to a smoke machine. There's a powerup to the left.]
You found a broken smoke machine. Your engine gets a little more powerful.
[Another Cueball and a powerup (-0.75 to thrust recovery time)]
Some people believe that when the Earth appears in the sky, it's a harbinger of doom. Your tanks recharge a bit faster now.
[A powerup next to a signpost]
Anyone for Scrabble later? Your engine gets a little more powerful.
  • What If? planet
[A huge, round planet with many bodies of water. You can get there by launching from the left part of Stonehenge on the Round Planet. Some scenes from the book "what if? 2" and the xkcd comic 2712: Gravity appear here. Features (clockwise):]
[A flagpole with a powerup on the flag]
You captured the flag! You decide to leave it there, but it's yours. Your engine gets a little more powerful.
[A cave in the ground. Inside it there's Beret Guy, two rabbits, and a powerup.]
You found a dna base pair! Your engine gets a little more powerful.
[Two stones with sails attached, sliding on the ground towards Hairbun and Megan]
[Black Hat with a bow, shooting an arrow upwards towards a spy satellite. There's a powerup just above it.]
You found an eye in the sky
[A lake with an eel swimming in it]
[A collectible in the grass]
You found a smooth green snake! It curls up in your hand and naps.
[A small erupting volcano]
[White Hat and Cueball standing, another person charging them with a sword held above head. Cueball is holding a small object in his left hand, the arm stretched towards the attacker]
[Hairbun running towards Megan. Megan is kicking something.]
[A person with a wide-rimmed hat driving a tractor(?). The ground strangely sticks to its wheels.]
[Megan and Cueball on a shore of a shallow body of water, Cueball is poking a stick into the water. Some creature is flying over the water. There's a powerup at the bottom (+0.4 to thrust duration).]
You found a sunken treasure. Your thrusters are more efficient now.
[Cueball standing on the other side of the water, taking hits from some objects falling from above.]
PLINK
Cueball: OW!
PLINK
Cueball: OW!
[Hairy sitting on a large heap of something, Cueball standing aside.]
[Megan standing on a brim of a small valley, Ryan standing in the valley with a small animal by his feet.]
Megan: Hi Ryan!
[There's a collectible over Ryan]
You found an asterisk. It doesn’t seem to refer to anything.
[A dugout. Cueball and Megan are standing there. Cueball holds a spade. There's a powerup above (+0.5 to launch speed).]
The Yellowstone Super What? Your launch speed has increased.
[A river, a waterfall and a lake below it. On the top of the waterfall Cueball faces two persons with police hats. There's a fat hose labelled "Niagara water" leading from the waterfall into a building labelled "LHC". Someone in the building shouts:]
Someone: HEY
[There's a collectible next to the LHC building]
You found a large hadron!
[A body of rippled strangely-behaving water, like it was a solid. Two people in a sailboat. To the right there's a gap in the water from which a huge UFO-shaped rock has been ejected, with two people on it. Further right Megan is standing at the bottom of a shaft in the water, next to some water plant]
[A few clouds and Cueball standing. The largest cloud, a cumulonimbus, features a powerup.]
Nutritional Facts - Serving Size: 1 Cloud, Total Calories: 0. Your engine gets a little more powerful.
[Megan sitting on a rectangular block, another block standing upright, a few stones.]
[White Hat walking along Hairbun, holding a rectangular object in her hand.]
[A patch of trees with two collectibles]
You found a secret leaf!
You found a stick!
[A small Cueball figure]
[A tower crane lowering a comet, on a place with two dinosaurs. A collectible below the crane's beam.]
You found a sterile neutrino!
[Knit Cap holding a remote control. An object is moving at supersonic speed next to him.]
BOOM
[There's a collectible to the left of Knit Cap]
You found a pair of squirrel goggles!
[Danish standing in a swimming pool, Cueball on the brim. There's a powerup in the pool.]
You found a steam calliope! Your engine gets a little more powerful.
[A large figure of Cueball]
  • Subway Planet
[A huge planet with a subway system connecting places named after U.S. cities, similar to the one from the xkcd comic 1196: Subways. In the area where Boston should be according to that system, there is a giant round hole with rugged sides consisting of a lot of broken planks. You can get there by taking off from the secret glade on Origin planet. There's a black hole inside, off the center, in the Washingon, D.C. area. There are many people and features both on the surface and within subway tunnels.]
[On the surface of the planet, clockwise from the Boston hole, there are:]
[Megan and Cueball standing on the edge of the Boston hole. Cueball is leaning forward, looking down.]
Cueball: Where's Boston?
Megan: I think M.I.T. kids took it.
[Three consecutive entrances to tunnels leading to New Yourk City area, a tunnel leading a little below and back up, another three entrances; Cueball standing next to the middle one. There's a power up just a bit into the third (+0.5 to launch speed).]
You found a hot dog. Your launch speed has increased.
[Cueball and Danish walking]
Cueball: Why did those M.I.T. kids keep talking about Morgantown?
Danish: They're just transit enthusiasts, I guess.
Cueball: But Morgantown is tiny. It can;t possibly have a subway, can it?
Danish: Not exactly...
[Hairy and White Hat standing]
Hairy: A lot of people don't realize that North America only has one subway system; each city's metro is just one part of the network.
[A sequence of seven tunnel entrances leading to Monterrey area. There's a warning message just below the surface:]
Warning! Air and Space Museum black hole ahead!
Turn back while you still have enough engine thrust!
[The above message repeats many times within the maze of subway tunnels]
[A powerup next to the second entrance (+0.4 to thrust duration)]
You found a bottle of Coke Absolute Zero! Your thrusters are more efficient now.
["Mexico City" label just below the surface, an entrance to a tunnel leading to Atlanta and a warning message about the black hole, Ponytail]
Ponytail: Welcome to the Subway Planet, home of all North America's metro systems!
[Ponytail and Cueball. Cuaball is holding a four-wheeled suitcase.]
Ponytail: Boston? No, that's on the other side of the planet.
Or used to be, anyway.
[Ponytail and Megan walking]
Ponytail: My favorite thing about visiting Origin is all the pointing sculptures.
They make it so easy to navigate!
[Two tunnel entrances leading to Los Angeles. A "San Francisco" label next to them. Cueball and Megan standing on opposite sides of the first entrance.]
Cueball: If you're looking for someone to track down those M.I.T. kid, you could try asking CalTech.
Megan: But we're in San Francisco; Isn't CalTech in Pasadena?
Cueball: Yeah, it's down there somewhere.
[Ponytail jumping across a tunnel entrance]
Ponytail: Vancouver!
[A "Vancouver" label and another tunnel entrance. Cueball and Ponytail are looking up.]
Cueball: Huh, I never noticed that crack in the crystal sphere before.
[An entrance to a tunnel leading to Toronto]
[A "Montreal" label and two tunnel entrances. The left edge of the Boston hole. Next to the right edge, there's a powerup (-0.75 to thrust recovery time).]
You get the feeling you're not in Kansas anymore. Your tanks recharge a bit faster now.
[Features inside the metro system, in no particular order:]
[Knit Cap in Montreal]
Knit Cap: Bienvenue a Montreal!
[Blondie and Megan at the bottom of the Boston hole]
Blondie: I hear M.I.T. kids were working on a cloaking device.
Boston could be anywhere.
[A collectible in a short dead-end line near the right side of the Boston hole:
You found a Cybiko® wireless handheld computer for teens (2000)!
[A power up down the tunnels of New York City (+0.4 to thrust duration)]
You found a brightly-lit billboard. Your thrusters are more efficient now.
[A collectible in a dead-end tunnel in NYC]
You found a handful of quantum foam!
[A collectible somewhere in NYC]
You found a normal-sized apple!
[Down in NYC: another copy of the black hole warning message and a powerup next to it]
You found a friendly cat! Your engine gets a little more powerful.
[Mexico, Cueball sitting on a ledge, Megan standing below]
Megan: You'd need some powerful thrusters to make it down there and back.
[In Monterrey, Megan is using her smartphone to look up the subway scheme in xkcd.com/1196]
[A collectible and a powerup in a short dead-end tunnel near Miami]
You found a beige electron! Your engine gets a little more powerful.
[A collectible in a dead-end tunnel in Toronto]
You found a relativistic bowling ball!
[A collectible and a power-up further down from Toronto]
You found $30 in Yahoo! cash! Your engine gets a little more powerful.
[A powerup down in San Francisco]
Your engine gets a little more powerful. Your engine gets a little more powerful.
[Down in Los Angeles there's a rectangular chamber connected to a tunnel. Megan is standing at the entrance to it, Hairbun and Cueball are inside]
Megan: Welcome to CalTech!
Hairbun: The M.I.T. cloaking device control? It's in Morgantown, WV.
Cueball: Figures.
[A small distance left and down from the chamber Science Girls is standing in the tunnel]
Science Girl: Stop! This line goes to D.C.!</br>Ever since the Air and Space Museum put in the black hole exhibit, it's been difficult to return without enough engine thrust.
[A powerup in a tunnel between Los Angeles and Philadelphia (+0.4 to thrust duration)]
There is no parking in the white zone. Your thrusters are more efficient now.
[A powerup in a long straight dead-end tunnel near Philadelphia]
You feel accomplished. Your engine gets a little more powerful.
[Down in Philadelphia, Cueball sitting on a slope]
Cueball: Morgantown? You could get there via Philly and Baltimore, but that would take you near the Museum.
Might be safer to take the red line from Atlanta.
[Further down from Philadelphia, close to Washington, D.C. Cueball is barely balancing himself on a slope of a tunnel leading to the black hole.]
[A collectible in a tunnel in Washington, close to the black hole]
Transfer here for Mornington Crescent (message only)
[At the center of Washington there's the black hole pictured as a dark circle with shiny rings around it. It is impossible to escape it without hyperdrive. If caught there, hit the Home button].
[A sign in the tunnel leading from Washington to Morgantown]
WV
[Further along the tunnel Cueball is sitting at a subway station (a round chamber a bit wider than the tunnel) at a strange angle to the surface, affected by black hole gravity]
Cueball: Welcome to Morgantown!
[A gray circle with a letter "T"]
MIT Cloaking Device deactivated! Boston detected.
[Grey line appears, leading out of the tunnels exiting the Subway Planet interior near Mexico City. The line end with an arrow and a label "To Boston". A similar line appears on the Origin Planet, leading from the bush sayin SHHH, then through the shaft, and up the St. Louis arch. It ends with a similar arrow and label.]
[Megan standing at a strange angle at the next station]
Megan: Welcome to Morgantown!
[Further along the tunnel Megan is sitting]
Megan: I think I'm stuck. I can't even see the black hole from here!
[Cueball sitting further along the Morgantown tunnel, where it joins another tunnel]
Cueball: Where does that line go?
  • Boston planet
[A big, perfectly round planet with a subway system. It is invisible until the player finds uncloaking device switch near Morgantown on the Subway Planet. Initially, all underground tunnels are blocked by huge round rocks with the letter "T" at the entrances and smaller round rocks down the tunnels. To unblock the tunnels, player needs to find subway tokens scattered in the universe; they appear only after the Boston planet is uncloaked. Subway stations on the surface and inside are marked with Boston district names. There are two trees and several people on the surface of the planet, described below (clockwise):]
[Two large trees growing at both sides of a tunnel entrance of the orange line, labelled "Oak Grove"]
[Cueball standing next to the entrance of the blue line, labelled "Wonderland"]
Cueball: There's a token to open each T line. The blue line token is right here in Boston.
[The blue line token is located just above the entrance]
Blue line deactivated!
[White Hat and Ponytail are standing on the other side of the blue line entrance]
White Hat: Welcome to Wonderland!
[Red line tunnel entrance labelled "Braintree". Cueball and Megan are standing next to it]
Cueball: Transfer here to Skinflower and Bonevine.
[Entrance to the second red line branch labelled "Mattapan"]
[Cueball standing next to green line branch entrance labelled "Riverside"]
Cueball: I can't believe the green line goes all the way to Los Angeles.
[Entrances to another two branches of the green line labelled "Cleveland Circle" and "Boston College". Some way from the Boston College Megan and Ponytail are talking."
Megan: Boston is a lot of places. It's on the East Coast of North America, but it's also on the surface of the Earth.
Ponytail: And on some playlists.
Megan: And of course it's right here!
[Cueball at the entrance of another green line branch labelled "Medford/Tufts"]
Cueball: I can't believe the green line extension is finally open.
[There are several people down the Boston Subway tunnels. Down the blue line tunnel, Cueball is walking.]
Cueball: The red line token? It's in Boston
[Another Cueball further down]
Cueball: The green line token is in Boston, too.
[Still another Cueball, climbing]
Cueball: The orange line token is also in Boston.
[Cueball again, close to intersection with the orange line]
Cueball: There are a lot of Bostons in this universe.
[In the redline tunnel, down from Braintree Cueball and Megan are walking]
Cueball: You know, the locals actually pronounce it "Quinchy"
[Following the red line past the center, the player arrives at the M.I.T. Megan is standing there.]
Megan: The hyperdrive works pretty well, but use it carefully. Try not to fly into walls at full speed.
[There's a powerup in front of Megan]
Welcome to MIT! You acquired a hyperdrive! Your engine thrust has increased significantly.
  • Crystal sphere
[All the "planets" described above lie within a huge ring called the Crystal Sphere. You can get there by flying in any direction, provided that you don't hit any planet. The interior edge of the Sphere is almost perfectly smooth, but has a few dents and cracks. At a point closest to the Subway Planet, there's a large crack leading all the way to the outside. At the entrance to the crack, on both sides, there are two collectibles.]
Left lane must turn left (message only)
Right lane must turn right (message only)
[Along the interior edge there are a few objects (clockwise from the large crack:]
[A collectible and a powerup]
You found the gold crown Archimedes stole! Your engine thrust has increased significantly.
[A collectible]
You found a necklace of element samples whose symbols spell out your name (note: hopefully you are not named 'Katherine' or 'Brandon')!
[A collectible and a powerup]
A significant boost to the engines for a curious pilot. Your engine thrust has increased significantly.
[The walls off the large crack in the Crystal Sphere are rugged, looking like a rumble of broken wooden planks. Some distance from the entrance there's a powerup (+0.5 to launch speed)]
There is a way out. Your launch speed has increased.
[From around the location of the "way out" powerup, gravity is increasing significantly. It is difficult to get out of the sphere unless one has collected almost all powerups from the locations inside the sphere. Even though, moving on the outer surface is difficult. There's an arch around the outer exit of the crack consisting of repeating words "THE END". There'a a collectible on the outer surface, quite far anticlockwise from the crack.]
You found the platinum cylinder formerly used to define the kilogram!
  • Star Destroyer (TODO)
  • Corellian Corvette
[A spaceship borrowed from the Star Wars universum. It is quite big, its length is larger than the diameter of the Origin planet, but smaller than Boston planet. It is found most easily by following a stream of torpedos fired from the Star Destroyer. There are several people both inside and outside of it, standing on the upper surface. Gravity in the area is quite strong, coming from the huge Crystal Sphere. Starting clockwise from the stern you can find:]
[Cueball standing on a ledge next to engine nozzle. Megan is pulling him by his arm as if trying to prevent him falling off. Cueball, leaning over the ledge, is holding a long stick with a huge marshmallow the size of his head on it, right over the center of the nozzle.]