Editing 2831: xkcd Phone Flip

This is the 9th in the ongoing [[:Category:xkcd Phones|xkcd Phone]] series in which Randall explains his new joke phone designs with many strange and useless features. It is a reference to the somewhat recent {{w|Galaxy Z}} series, but instead of folding in half, it folds into the more complex and much less usable shape of a typical {{w|paper fortune teller}}. (A traditional paper fortune teller requires a square-shaped piece of material; to make this phone with a ~2:1 ratio rectangular shape into a fortune teller, it would first need to be folded in half lengthswise.)  

The name Phone Flip is a play on the term {{w|Flip Phone}}, which has referred to older cellphones with a {{w|Clamshell design|basic hinged construction}}, but {{w|Samsung}}, in particular, has released a line of {{w|smartphones}} under the Galaxy Z range given the name 'Flip' (or 'Fold') which use a flexible display across the hinge, with {{w|Motorola Razr|other manufacturers}} producing similar technology by other names. Randall's version takes this complexity up a notch with a currently impractical varifolded origami design.

: A term commonly found on lotions and facial products, "exfoliating" means removing dead skin cells from the surface of the skin, in order to improve its appearance. This could mean that it will exfoliate the user's skin when pressed to it.  However, this would probably require a mildly abrasive and/or adhesive screen texture or coating, which are usually not desirable qualities of a touchscreen. A different reading is that the screen itself exfoliates, i.e. slowly disintegrates. Unless the phone is an organism able to regrow exfoliated surfaces, this will eventually lead to the screen's disappearance, not an improvement of its appearance.  

: {{w|Orthotics}} are devices used to reduce stress on the body. "Arch support" is a specific term referring to padded inserts designed to fit to the contour of a person's foot and provide support for the arch of the foot, a raised area between the ball in front and the heel in back. Fitting this space requires either a curved shape or one that's thicker in the center, which would usually make a phone less straightforward ([[No Pun Intended|pun not intended]]) to use. (This assumes, of course, that the foot is shaped like a "normal" human foot.) Additionally, the materials used in a phone are not typically suitable for orthotic usage and doing so could worsen any issues and damage the phone from the stress of the person's weight upon it. However, it's possible that in this context, the phone is ergonomically shaped to fit the way that the typical hand arches around it.

: Meaning less able to produce an immune response - so perhaps useful in that people do not want their phone to cause an immune response in their body, although cell phones typically cause no immune response. This is probably related to items that are marketed as hypoallergenic, less likely to cause an allergic reaction. It may also be a reference to persistent unsubstantiated claims that radio waves from mobile phones cause cancer and other disorders.

: Perhaps referring to a "{{w|main sequence}}" star (Dwarf stars, like the {{w|Sun}}, where main energy generation is hydrogen fusion). Such stars spend a long time in this phase of evolution.  This might also explain SPF 15 and full-spectrum backlight.  Stars do last a long time compared to most cell phone batteries. This feature might be a reference to [[1422: My Phone is Dying]].

: This feature parallels a {{w|glow stick}}, which is also activated by bending the stick; this breaks an inner capsule causing chemicals to mix and produce light. However, doing this with a phone is likely to cause physical or chemical damage and additionally only works once, which is not very useful for a phone flashlight that one typically uses as a tool throughout the phone's lifetime. It might be fun at a rave though.

: Probably a reference to the development of various public service systems which generate an alert to phone users to warn of likely dangerous events, such as storms, earthquakes, etc. In this case, though, rather than generate fear in the user, the phone itself becomes afraid. This may be further referencing the fact that, thanks to humanized personal assistant functions, some people have developed pseudo-human relationships with their devices, whereby they attribute emotions and other human characteristics to them. In reality, phones do not have emotions (yet), but even if they did, it's not clear how this would be a useful feature. How this fear manifests is also unexplained. It may turn off, or it may scream like the original xkcd phone did when in free fall. A number<!-- I've not yet counted how many, but it's definitely a number! ;) --> of the previous xkcd phones have had unexplained, inexplicable, or incomprehensible partnerships.

# recharging or {{w|battery swapping}}

# replacing the glass each time you use an app.

The title text references the failed company {{w|Theranos}} that notably could not live up to its promise to diagnose many health issues from a single drop of blood, and was charged with fraud for claiming it could do so. Due to legal agreements, and subsequent design choices already built in, the bottom of the phone ''will'' still collect a drop of your blood (unless you're particularly careful).

:Exfoliating screen

:Orthotic shape for arch support

:Single big pixel

:Ready to eat

:Hypoimmunogenic

:Up to 50% more

:Full-spectrum backlight optimized for plant growth

:Long-lasting main sequence battery

:Break glass to access apps

:Buy one get one

:Bending phone activates chemical flashlight

:SPF 15 coating protects your face from websites

:Iatrogenic construction

:All-vinyl data storage for maximum fidelity

:Locks in moisture

:National Weather Service partnership: phone is afraid of thunder

:One-click ''ruina montium''

:Free refills