141: Parody Week: Achewood

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Parody Week: Achewood
I always wanted to impress them with how well I could hear, didn't you? Also, this sets the record for number of awkward-pause panels in one strip (previously held by Achewood)
Title text: I always wanted to impress them with how well I could hear, didn't you? Also, this sets the record for number of awkward-pause panels in one strip (previously held by Achewood)

[edit] Explanation

Ambox notice.png This explanation may be incomplete or incorrect: The subject of beef and rays discussion about beef setting up ray and the program ray seems to be invited to has not been explained at all. There seems to be many things in that part of the comic - before the awkward pauses, that are not easily understood and need explanation. And what's with the food references in the last panel wit text?
If you can address this issue, please edit the page! Thanks.

This comic is a part of the Parody Week, just joking about other webcomics. This series was released on 5 consecutive days (Monday-Friday) and not over the usual Monday/Wednesday/Friday schedule and is comprised of the following five parodies:

Achewood is a webcomic by Chris Onstad. It portrays the lives of a group of anthropomorphic stuffed toys, robots, and pets. The comic's humor often lacks a traditional punchline, and utilizes numerous awkward pause panels.

This comic includes three of the prominent characters from the strip: Phillippe a five year old stuffed otter, Ray, and Roast Beef. In the first panel, Phillippe is dreaming of having his ears checked. There's an eye chart on the wall behind him. The doctor informs him that because of his superhearing power he is needed at Hogwarts, School of Witchcraft and Wizardry, from Harry Potter.

The comic then switches to Roast Beef and Ray discussing an invitation to a competition described only by its name (that dude is pretty awesome in most measurable ways I mean wow). Ray's strategy consists of highlighting his genitals. Roast Beef offers his take on the competition; that Ray is going to lose to the other, significantly more impressive, contestants. Roast Beef says that ray wouldn't fit in with that crowd. Rather, he would look "like the kind of dude that stays at home all night playing fleshlight tag". It is then revealed that Roast Beef was setting Ray up, but couldn't complete his plan. Ray is dismayed, and Roast Beef proceeds to further shut him down, comparing Ray (a "McD's" hamburger) to the other competitors (a 12 oz. sirloin steak). This leads to a lengthy awkward pause, spanning the rest of the comic.

The comic is written in the style of Onstad and his humor. The last 10 panels are "awkward-pause panels", which are used frequently in Achewood, in what appears to be a joke about overuse of dialogue-free panels (there are 11 of these but the first is a shock panel, then the pause begins). This joke is continued in the title-text, where Randall claims that this strip set the record for most panels of this kind, a record previously held by Achewood.

Sweet Sweetback's Baadasssss Song is a 1971 Blaxploitation film that is generally regarded as an exemplar of its genre.

References to Fleshlight, such as this comment by beef in first panel in third row: You are gonna stand out as the sort of dude who stays at home all night playing fleshlight tag , is a recurring theme in xkcd, but this seems to be the first time.

[edit] Transcript

[Unlike regular xkcd comics the text here seems to be typed on a machine, and the speech is in bubbles rather than just indicated with a thin line from the speaker. This is true for all spoken text. Also Beef almost never uses any punctuation in his sentences.]
[Philippe, an anthropomorphic stuffed otter, is participating in a hearing aid test with headphones over his ears, and one arm raised. He is at a doctor and behind him on the wall There is an eye chart with six lines of E's, the large one on top a regular E, and then in the next two lines they are turned around in the four general directions. The last three lines are not readable. The doctor talks to Philippe from off-panel in a bubble going to the far right. Here it meets a thought bubble line going down and left from the upper right corner. On the right side the back ground is gray and Philippe can be seen lying in a bed, dreaming the scene to the left.]
Doctor (off-panel): Philippe, your hearing is perfect! In fact, you heard ALL the beeps! You have super-hearing! You're needed at Hogwarts!
Philippe: Oh boy!
Eye chart:
E
EɯEMƎ
ƎEƎMƎME
[Roast Beef, an anthropomorphic thin cat with pointy ears and small eyes, is looking at Ray, an anthropomorphic fat cat with black glasses, he is reading from a piece of paper that has been folded out, holding it up in front of him with both hands. They are seen from the waist up. Most of the time below, their eyebrows are visible to show feelings, but Beef's is not shown here. When they speak their mouths are open, else it is closed. Beefs is closed in this panel. Above the drawing there is a line and in the thin frame formed by that and the top panel there is a caption:]
Meanwhile . . .
Ray: Beef, check this out. I got an invite to that The Dude Is Pretty Awesome In Most Measurable Ways I Mean Wow competition.
[This panel pans up so less of their bodies can be seen, and more text be above them. It is clear that Ray has a medal hanging around his neck, which was partly covered by his hands in the previous panel, which are now down. Apart from this they look the same.]
Beef: Alright that is pretty sweet dogg what is your strategy gonna consist of
Ray: I'm thinkin' I need to point out my best features -- maybe go holdin' a sign with an arrow toward my junk.
[Ray is seen almost in full figure, which reveals that he is only wearing big black underpants and the medal, his nipples are also clearly visible on each side of the medal (as they were already in the previous panel, but not the one before). He has one arm in his side, the other holding a large sign with big bold text and beneath this a large black arrow pointing first down and then across towards his pants waistband.]
Sign: Yes
[Back to same view as in the first panel, except a pan so Ray is in the center and Beef is partly cut off at the left frame so there is space for a speech bubble to the right of Ray. Ray holds up a drink glass in front of him with a cherry in the bottom. Beefs eyebrows are missing.]
Beef: Yeah well I always said subtlety was your middle name dogg
Beef: And also your first and last in case they didn't get the point
Ray: How do you think I should play it?
[Only Beef is shown in this panel to make room for his speech bubbles.]
Beef: Well basically you got no chance as I see it these dudes are all lovers and fighters to the last
Beef: All sprung fully formed from the head of Sweet Sweetback
Beef: You are gonna stand out as the sort of dude who stays at home all night playing fleshlight tag
[Both are again in this panel but has been panned up so only their heads are visible to place speech bubbles above them.]
Ray: These words you got are crazy. Didn't I win the outdoor fight?
Beef: Uh huh about the fight I wasn't gonna tell you but how could you miss that I was setting you up
Ray: What?
Beef: You got played dogg
[Same but panned down to below the medal on Ray. Beefs eyebrows are missing.]
Beef: I basically just didn't have the heart to go through with it in the end.
[Only Beef is shown to the right, making space for five speech bubbles to his left.]
Beef: Anyway the point is that you are gonna lose this thing so hard
Beef: All cheap McD's hamburger to their slabs of steak
Beef: A couple 12-oz sirloins garnished with nothing but pure manhood
Beef: Maybe some sprigs of parsley
Beef: You are pretty much going down
[Closeup of a shocked Ray mouth hanging open.]
[Silence 1. Both are shown from the waistline and up standing looking slightly down, arms down. Rays has closed his mouth. Generally their ears shift a bit from panel to panel the rest of the way, and also their head position. But else they stay the same distance from each other.]
[Silence 2. Same view. Beef looks perturbed and his ear is twitching. Ray's mouth is open again.]
[Silence 3. Same view. Beef looks sorry. Rays has closed his mouth.]
[Silence 4. Same view. Beef looks sorry and Ray looks angry. Ray's mouth is open again.]
[Silence 5. Same view. Rays has closed his mouth again. Beefs eyebrows are missing, but also Rays are gone, maybe hidden by the rim of the glasses. They do not reappear in the rest of the comic indicating he keeps his eyes downcast. ]
[Silence 6. Same view. Beefs eyebrows are back]
[Silence 7. The view has panned so low that it is possible to see the waistband of Ray's underpants. Beef is looking even more down and has moved closer to Ray who's mouth is open again.]
[Silence 8. Same view, but a little less waistband visible. Beef has moved back again his eyebrows are missing and his mouth are open, and Ray looks even more down than before still mouth open.]
[Silence 9. View paned so low that a large part of Rays underpants can be seen. Beef is looking down, mouth closes with eyebrows, Ray standing more straight still mouth open.]
[Silence 10. Beef looks surprised and has moved close to Ray who has finally closed his mouth again.]

[edit] Trivia


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Discussion

I see the Athena reference. She came out all ready in full battle armor and stuff from her dad, Zeus's skull (which was broken into two or something). NSDCars5 (talk) 16:18, 14 May 2014 (UTC) NSDCars5

Is the poor spelling/grammar a characteristic of Archewood? --Milesper (talk) 18:56, 1 June 2015 (UTC)

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