712: Single Ladies

Explain xkcd: It's 'cause you're dumb.
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Single Ladies
Using a ring to bind someone you covet into your dark and twisted world? Wow, just got the subtext there. Also, the apparently eager Beyoncé would've made one badass Nazgûl.
Title text: Using a ring to bind someone you covet into your dark and twisted world? Wow, just got the subtext there. Also, the apparently eager Beyoncé would've made one badass Nazgûl.

Explanation[edit]

The character in armor is Sauron, the main villain in The Lord of the Rings trilogy. In the backstory of the The Silmarillion, he takes control of Middle-earth by giving several Rings of Power as "gifts" to the great kings of men, dwarves and elves after teaching the craft to the elves. However, he also forged a master ring, the One Ring, to control the Rings of Power and ultimately rule over the kings. However, the elves were not deceived by his plan and took off their rings. Enraged, Sauron started War of the Elves and Sauron. After losing that war Sauron started a religion in Númenor. After using his influence to convince Númenóreans to attack Aman, the island is destroyed by Eru. Then Sauron started War against the Last Alliance. Sauron is eventually defeated in said war by Isildur who cuts off his ring finger. The books tell the story of a small group of adventurers who rediscover the lost Ring and attempt to destroy it, as Sauron's army gathers its forces to attempt to reclaim the Ring for their master.

Gil-galad is a high Elven-king, and Galadriel is an Elf of royal blood who serves as a matriarch of sorts to the remnants of the Elven race. Lindon is a location on the westernmost side of the continent, serving as the final transition point for Elves passing on to the Undying lands. Sauron refers to an actual event in the first panel, when he tried to gain control of Lindon through deceit; Galadriel and Gil-galad saw through his disguise and cast him out.

In the second panel Sauron is talking about Eru Ilúvatar, the creator in Tolkien's Middle-earth legendarium. While Eru created elves and men it was Aulë who created Dwarves, Eru gave them life. Orcs were Elves twisted by Morgoth so Sauron, being his principal lieutenant, would be a natural leader to orcs by the time he created the One Ring.

The song playing in the background is "All the Single Ladies" by Beyoncé, which includes the line "If you liked it then you should have put a ring on it," referring to wedding rings. This is shown as being what inspired Sauron to devise his plan to control others through the gift of rings.

The title text refers to an often-suggested fan theory that the One Ring is actually meant to be symbolic of marriage. This theory is incorrect. The Nazgûl, also known as ringwraiths, are the former nine human kings who were bound by the rings, now a band of nine servants to Sauron who constantly seek out the Ring for him.

Transcript[edit]

[Sauron from the Lord of the Rings is sitting at a bar, where Beret Guy is bartending; Sauron is wearing his trademark helmet, but he's hanging his head in apparent sadness or resignation. Music plays in the background.]
Music: All the single ladies, All the single ladies
Beret Guy: Hey Sauron, why so glum?
Sauron: Gil-galad saw through me and threw me out of Lindon. Galadriel as well. I'll never rule anyone at this rate.
Music: All the single ladies, All the single ladies
Sauron: Eru created such beautiful creatures - Elves and men and dwarves - and all I've got are these stupid orcs.
Music: 'Cause if you liked it then you should have put a ring on it
Sauron: I mean, I-
[Sauron is suddenly quiet.]
Music: If you liked it then you should have put a ring on it

Trivia[edit]

  • Randall used the wrong "û" character when editing the title text; the character he used was U+0217 LATIN SMALL LETTER U WITH INVERTED BREVE, but the correct character is U+00FB LATIN SMALL LETTER U WITH CIRCUMFLEX. They look very similar at standard font sizes, but the inverted breve is curved, while the circumflex is pointed.


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Discussion

Glum? Really? 108.162.219.223 00:05, 25 December 2013 (UTC)

And it's the wraith-like things that quicken the heart... 108.162.230.113 10:45, 24 October 2014 (UTC)

Sauron would have known that dwarves were created by Aulë, not Eru. This was a point of contention, but resolved gently, though sternly. -Merek (no user name yet) 199.27.133.83 (talk) (please sign your comments with ~~~~)

I thought Sauron taught the elves and dwarves the art of making the Rings, not the other way around? 162.158.60.17 06:48, 5 February 2016 (UTC)

Sauron did teach the elves, I changed that bit around --Figvh (talk) 10:49, 13 March 2016 (UTC)

Why are there so many links to nonexistent Wikipedia pages here? 172.70.91.116 05:08, 13 February 2022 (UTC)

a sensible beret guy? -Anonia