388: Fuck Grapefruit
Title text: Coconuts are so far down to the left they couldn't be fit on the chart. Ever spent half an hour trying to open a coconut with a rock? Fuck coconuts.
This comic consists in a chart where Randall plotted fruits according to two criteria: ease/difficulty to eat, and tastiness. For instance, pineapples are deemed fairly tasty but very difficult to eat, whereas (seeded) grapes are very tasty and rather easy, and logically seedless grapes are equally tasty while being far more easy at the same time.
Obviously being easy to eat is preferable to being difficult, and being tasty is preferable to being untasty, so the "best" fruits (regarding these two aspects only) are in the top-right corner, and the worst in the bottom-left one; additionally, in the top-left corner are the "difficult-but-worthy" fruits, and in the bottom-right one, the "not-so-tasty-but-easy-anyway" ones.
According to the resulting chart, grapefruit is the worst fruit (from the ones listed at least): eating one of them is like spending too much of one's time and energy without much reward. Therefore, fuck grapefruit.
The title text adds a joke about coconuts, concerning the fact that they are incredibly more difficult to eat (especially to open) and untasty than the usual mainstream fruits such as the ones plotted here. Therefore, 1) coconuts could not fit on the chart because they are too far down to the left (or if they had been put in the chart, they would have relegated all the other fruits on the far top right, all equally easy and tasteful in comparison to coconuts and therefore indiscernible between each other); and 2) fuck coconuts as well.
According to the blag, this was the most controversial comic written to this point, "beating out comics about cunnilingus, the Obama endorsement, and my making 4chan tiny on the map of the internet".
- [An x-y plot of fruit, showing tastiness on the vertical axis and difficulty-of-consumption on the horizontal axis. The Y-axis goes from "tasty" at the top, to "untasty" at the bottom. The X-axis goes from "easy" on the right to "difficult" on the left.]
- [The following list of the 18 fruits goes from top to bottom and left to right. After each fruit name - as written in the commic - the x-y coordinat is given in square brackets. It is assumed that the extremes of each axis are 100% and the center of each fruit is used to define the coordinate. Note that lemon is not as untasty as peaches are tasty. Note that according to the title text fruits can be off the chart. To include all text in the transcript below also the axis titles will be listed in the same order as the fruit:]
- Peaches [100% tasty, 68% easy]
- Seeded grapes [78% tasty, 12% easy]
- Strawberries [70% tasty, 72% easy]
- Seedless grapes [68% tasty, 100% easy]
- Blueberries [55% tasty, 86% easy]
- Pineapples [55% tasty, 100% difficult]
- Cherries [35% tasty, 42% easy]
- Pears [33% tasty, 76% easy]
- Green apples [20% tasty, 80% easy]
- Plums [13% tasty, 58% easy]
- Watermelons [18% tasty, 20% difficult]
- Red apples [10% untasty, 76% easy]
- Pomegranates [13% untasty, 84% difficult]
- Bananas [13% untasty, 16% easy]
- Oranges [43% untasty, 48% difficult]
- Tomatoes [55% untasty, 26% easy]
- Grapefruit [80% untasty, 78% difficult]
- Lemons [93% untasty, 14% difficult]