388: Fuck Grapefruit

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Fuck Grapefruit
Coconuts are so far down to the left they couldn't be fit on the chart. Ever spent half an hour trying to open a coconut with a rock? Fuck coconuts.
Title text: Coconuts are so far down to the left they couldn't be fit on the chart. Ever spent half an hour trying to open a coconut with a rock? Fuck coconuts.

[edit] Explanation

This comic consists in a chart where Randall plotted fruits according to two criteria: ease/difficulty to eat, and tastiness. For instance, pineapples are deemed fairly tasty but very difficult to eat, whereas (seeded) grapes are very tasty and rather easy, and logically seedless grapes are equally tasty while being far more easy at the same time.

Obviously being easy to eat is preferable to being difficult, and being tasty is preferable to being untasty, so the "best" fruits (regarding these two aspects only) are in the top-right corner, and the worst in the bottom-left one; additionally, in the top-left corner are the "difficult-but-worthy" fruits, and in the bottom-right one, the "not-so-tasty-but-easy-anyway" ones.

According to the resulting chart, grapefruit is the worst fruit (from the ones listed at least): eating one of them is like spending too much of one's time and energy without much reward. Therefore, fuck grapefruit.

The title text adds a joke about coconuts, concerning the fact that they are incredibly more difficult to eat (especially to open) than the usual mainstream fruits such as the ones plotted here. Therefore, 1/ coconuts could not fit on the chart, they are too much on the left (or if they had been put in the chart, they would have relegated all the other fruits on the far right, all equally "easy" in comparison to coconuts and therefore indiscernible between each other on this criterion); and 2/ fuck coconuts as well.

According to the blag, this was the most controversial comic written to this point, "beating out comics about cunnilingus, the Obama endorsement, and my making 4chan tiny on the map of the internet".

[edit] Transcript

Ambox notice.png This transcript is incomplete. Please help editing it! Thanks.
[A X Y plot of fruit, showing tastiness on the vertical axis and difficulty-of-consumption on the horizontal axis. The Y-axis goes from "tasty" at the top, to "untasty" at the bottom. The X-axis goes from "easy" on the right to "difficult" on the left.]
{The following listing for each fruit assumes that the extremes of each axis are 100%. Note that this does not agree with the alt text, but whatever.}
[Seedless grapes: 75% tasty, 100% easy
Peaches: 100% tasty, 75% easy
Strawberries: 80% tasty, 75% easy
Blueberries: 70% tasty, 90% easy
Pears: 30% tasty, 75% easy
Green apples: 25% tasty, 80% easy
Seeded grapes: 75% tasty, 10% easy
Cherries: 30% tasty, 40% easy
Plums: 10% tasty, 60% easy
Red apples: 5% untasty, 80% easy
Bananas: 10% untasty, 10% easy
Watermelons: 10% tasty, 10% difficult
Tomatoes: 60% untasty, 20% easy
Pineapples: 50% tasty, 100% difficult
Oranges: 40% untasty, 50% difficult
Lemons: 100% untasty, 10% difficult
Pomegranates: 10% untasty, 90% difficult
Grapefruit: 90% untasty, 80% difficult]
Comment.png add a comment!


Why are seeded grapes deemed more tasty than seedless grapes? Them seeds taste awful and bitter when you accidentally bite into them. Davidy22 (talk) 12:22, 14 October 2012 (UTC)

  • Yeah! And red apples are clearly more tasty than green (unless you're using them for cooking), and bananas are the tastiest fruit ever! In other words, it's all subjective. (You might argue that the seeds add to the flavour, much like a small amout of fat in meat; obviously the fact that they're less easy implies pulling all the seeds out first to make sure you don't bite one.) 10:34, 28 November 2012 (UTC)
  • Seedless grapes (and seedless versions of other fruits) are often considered to be slightly less tasty than their seeded counterparts because a compromise was made: putting all efforts toward being tasty and easy to grow, versus dividing the effort between those and making them seedless. Additionally, some seedless fruits (including certain brands or breeds) are simply less mature versions of their seedless equivalent (this is part of why some bunches of seedless grapes have seeds in many of the fruits, albeit smaller and/or fewer seeds than the seeded equivalent). It's also possible that the y-axis difference between the two was unintentional, but there's enough of a difference that I'm strongly in favor of interpreting it as intentional. JET73L (talk) 17:34, 8 February 2013 (UTC)

I disagree with the placement of bananas and pears. They are both really easy and reasonably tasty (although taste is a matter of personal preference). 21:54, 11 March 2013 (UTC)

  • Problem is, pomegranates burn calories instead of adding to them. Unless you get pre-picked. There should be a third axis, but alas, with a webcomic, it is not possible. (talk) (please sign your comments with ~~~~)

Fyi to open a coconut, do not smash a rock against the coconut, smash the coconut against the rock! 14:30, 26 July 2013 (UTC)

A rock? Is this a deserted island scenario you're describing? Most households have something called a hammer. Tharkon (talk) 03:24, 23 November 2013 (UTC)

Is there a program do make charts looking like these? With the little pictures in the chart. RecentlyChanged (talk) 13:26, 26 November 2013 (UTC)

Yes. The program is called "Paper and Pencil; and something to color them."SarcasticMoe (talk) 25:61, 26 November 2013 (UTC)

The transcript needs fixing. It is currently inaccurate in places, like, for example, strawberries in the comic are placed below seeded grapes on the tastiness axis, but the transcript says that strawberries are tastier than seeded grapes. Also, the transcript is missing seedless grapes. 03:48, 23 December 2013 (UTC)

While I disagree with the rating in tastyness... Then it is true that bananas is more difficult to start eating than fruit without peel - like pears. However, bananas are very easy to peel! And you do not get sticky as with a fresh pear. I thus think it is easier to eat bananas than pears because of that.Kynde (talk) 07:30, 29 March 2014 (UTC)
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