Title text: Friends with detriments.
Cueball is talking to Megan. He confesses that he has a crush on her. Usually the next step in Western cultures, when someone likes someone else, is to ask the other person out (in other cultures, such as Islamic or Indian cultures, it would be more appropriate to request that one's parents contact the parents of the person one has a crush on). But Cueball takes a different route, and in the comic, he explains his thought process. Presumably he actually explains this to Megan.
He explains that he is afraid of rejection, and so instead of asking her out directly, promises to be her "best friend" and someone who is always "there for you," in the hopes that this will eventually lead to Megan developing an attraction for him. This way, Cueball does not have to risk Megan saying 'No' to him, as she will be led to make the first move instead. Cueball is aware that this may not be an ideal situation for Megan, conceding that she may end up changing her definition of happiness to make her feel more comfortable in the relationship, while she is conscious of the fact that she doesn't really love Cueball. Cueball recognizes that if Megan fell for him this way, she would probably have this fact at the back of her mind forever.
And so, after painting this elaborate - but troubling - future, Cueball asks sound good? Megan, however, is not won over by Cueball's plan, and she tells him that she is going to date "this jerk", poking fun at him saying 'I will tear down the jerks you date'. (Although she could have said any name here -- to Cueball it will always sound like jerk!) This suggests that she would much rather date someone else rather than date Cueball whom she -- as he correctly implies -- does not love.
Cueball declares that the other suitor doesn't respect you, an absurdly hypocritical comment given his manipulative plan. He explained earlier that he would tear down the jerks you date; this last line could also be him actually executing on the plan he just detailed.
The title text is a play on the concept of friends with benefits, wherein two friends have casual sex without entering a committed relationship. Friends with detriments suggests that having Cueball as her "friend" damages Megan's chances of getting a relationship (and sex) with anyone else, since Cueball will tear any candidate down. Also, despite Cueball claiming to be Megan's friend (and appearing to value this friendship), his plans are rather selfish and manipulative, making him a "friend" who is in fact detrimental.
- [Cueball is talking to Megan.]
- Cueball: I have a crush on you.
- [Cueball is shown alone.]
- Cueball: I could ask you out, and move on with my life if you said no.
- [Cueball has his arms out.]
- Cueball: Or,
- Cueball: WE COULD BE FRIENDS!
- [Cueball has one palm out.]
- Cueball: See, I don't want to consider that you might not be attracted to me. I'm scared of rejection, so I've decided relationships should grow smoothly out of friendships.
- [Megan is shown sitting at her computer.]
- Cueball: When you have problems, I'll be there for you, night after night.
- Cueball: Selflessly.
- Computer: *hug*
- [Megan is shown slamming a door and walking to Cueball to get a hug.]
- Cueball: I'll tear down the jerks you date, and wait for you to realize how good I am for you. That only I will ever understand you.
- Megan: Sniff
- Cueball: There there
- [Cueball is shown alone again.]
- Cueball: You don't want to hurt my feelings, and I won't ever force the issue. I'll tell myself it's because I "value our friendship."
- Cueball: Bit by bit, I'll make you depend on me.
- [Cueball and Megan are shown sitting on a rock in a park, reading a book together.]
- Cueball: You'll think about how long it would take to build this kind of connection again.
- [Cueball and Megan are shown sitting on a couch drinking, getting closer, and kissing.]
- Cueball: And in a moment of weakness
- Cueball: and loneliness
- Cueball: you'll give in.
- [Megan is shown sitting at the computer with Cueball behind her facing the other way washing dishes.]
- Cueball: It'll feel comfortable and natural. You'll quietly revise your definition of love and try to be happy. And sometimes you will be.
- [Megan is shown sitting at the computer.]
- Cueball: Only the wistfulness in your gaze and the tiny pause before you say "I love you" will hint that this wasn't the ending you'd hoped for.
- Cueball: Sound good?
- [Megan is holding hands with another boy, talking to Cueball.]
- Megan: ...I'm going to date this jerk.
- Cueball: But he doesn't respect you!
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