Editing 1759: British Map

{{comic
| number    = 1759
| date      = November 14, 2016
| title     = British Map
| image     = british_map.png
| titletext = West Norsussex is east of East Norwessex, but they're both far north of Middlesex and West Norwex.
}}

==Explanation==
This comic is a joke similar to [https://www.google.com/webhp?sourceid=chrome-instant&ion=1&espv=2&ie=UTF-8&safe=active&ssui=on#q=how%20americans%20see%20the%20world&safe=active&ssui=on "How Americans see the world"] showing how the average American has opinions on the world, often including jokes such as a lack of {{w|Africa}}, etc. This has been used before in [[850: World According to Americans]]. The map also plays with the joke by noting it has been labeled by [[Randall Munroe|a specific American]] rather than "Americans".

Many areas of the UK are most familiar to foreigners thanks to their depiction in various fantasy novels and TV series. This map labels some of these, as well as including many silly names that simply sound like real British towns to an American ear. A protractor is shown off the coast of the {{w|Mull of Kintyre}} in reference to the "{{w|Mull of Kintyre test}}" - according to urban legend, the angle of the Mull defines the maximum allowed erectness for a man on films and home video releases in the UK.

Randall previously posted [https://blog.xkcd.com/2015/11/24/a-puzzle-for-the-uk/ a map of Great Britain] on his blog as part of the promotion for his book ''[[What If? (book)|What If?]]''. This map is from a very similar position and appears to have been traced from the same source, although there are some slight differences. Both maps include a sketch of {{w|Lake Windermere}} with boats on it, and both have the locations of London, Oxford and Cambridge labeled (the blog map also shows Edinburgh and Bristol - in this comic, these are labelled Eavestroughs and Minas Tirith). Both also contain references to {{w|Stonehenge}} and {{w|Watership Down}}.

Note that in British English, the correct spelling of “labeled” is ‘labelled’.

The title text plays around with the concept of the compass directions and how numerous regions (such as South "Sussex" and West "Wessex") incorporate such literal names in their description. Randall is creating similar sounding names which are nonsense-ish ("Norsussex" would be the region of the Northern-Southern Saxons), and placing them in relation to each other in ways which would be geographically implausible, similar to this [http://www.netfunny.com/rhf/jokes/92q3/xx19.html old joke about Boston]. However, in Germany there exists the region called ''Westphalia'' (''Westfalen''), and the eastern part of it is often referred to as ''East-Westphalia'' (''{{w|Ostwestfalen}}''), which sounds somewhat ridiculous. Part of the joke in the title text could be the fact that while three of the locations are fictional, {{w|Middlesex}} does actually exist.

{| border =1 width=100% cellpadding=5 class="wikitable sortable"
!Label on the map  !! Explanation !! Actual location !! Notes
|-
| Helcaraxë
|| The "[http://lotr.wikia.com/wiki/Helcarax%C3%AB Grinding Ice]", an area of {{w|Middle-Earth}}. Like Helcaraxë, northern Scotland is cold, mountainous and in many areas inhospitable.
|| The {{w|Grampian}} region
|| 
|-
| Blick
|| Possibly referencing {{w|Wick, Caithness}}, one of the northernmost towns in Great Britain. The real Wick is substantially further north, off the edge of the map.
||Near {{w|Rhynie, Aberdeenshire}}
|| This is the name of a goblin in the movie "Legend" starring Tim Curry. Could also reference the art supply store, Blick Art Materials
|-
| Everdeen
|| {{w|Katniss Everdeen}} is the heroine of ''{{w|The Hunger Games}}'' series of novels and films
|| {{w|Aberdeen}}
|| In colloquial Scots, its pronunciation is very similar to "Everdeen."
|-
| Highlands
|| {{w|Scottish Highlands|No joke}}
|| {{w|Scottish Lowlands}}
|| Maybe deliberate trolling - Scots have strong feelings about where the Highland-Lowland border is
|-
| Norther Sea
|| Pun on the {{w|North Sea}} - i.e. a sea that is further north (or 'norther') than the North Sea.
|| {{w|Sea of the Hebrides}}
|| 
|-
| Loch Lomond
|| {{w|Loch Lomond|No joke}}
|| Loch Lomond
|| Loch Lomond is the largest lake in Great Britain, and the third largest lake in the UK. It is the subject of a well-known {{w|The_Bonnie_Banks_o%27_Loch_Lomond|traditional song}}, and was referenced in the "beaming" (teleporter) bit in the movie Spaceballs by the Scotty expy 'Snotty'. It also houses a distillery producing a whisky appreciated by Captain Haddock in ''{{w|The Adventures of Tintin}}''. Thanks to the {{w|Loch Ness Monster|monster}}, {{w|Loch Ness}} is by far the most famous Scottish loch, so naming the second most famous subverts expectations.
|-
| Fjordham
|| {{w|Fjords}} are glacial valleys. "-ham" is a common English placename suffix from Old English, related to the modern {{w|Hamlet (place)|hamlet}} ''or'' another root, such as that relating to river meadows, but [http://keithbriggs.info/EPN_maps/ham.pdf not so common] in the more obviously glacier-carved areas such as this area in Scotland. There are several villages (in England) named {{w|Fordham}}
|| Near {{w|Oban}} on the {{w|Firth of Lorn}}
|| The Scottish word "Firth" is related to "Fjord", although Lorn is not a fjord in the strict scientific sense - it was formed along the {{w|Great Glen Fault}} by tectonics, rather than glaciers
|-
| Glassdoor
|| {{w|Glassdoor}} is a website where employees can review their employers
|| {{w|Stirling}}
|| Although it's shown near Stirling, the reference seems to be to {{w|Glasgow}}
|-
| Eavestroughs
|| A dialectal word for {{w|rain gutter}}
|| {{w|Edinburgh}}
|| 
|-
| Seasedge
|| Procan's realm in ''Dungeons & Dragons''.  "Sea sedge" is also one of many common names used for ''{{w|Acorus calamus}}'', the calamus or sweet flag.
|| Somewhere near the Scotland-England border
|| 
|-
| Chough
|| A {{w|Chough|species of bird in the crow family}}
|| The {{w|Scottish Borders}}
|| 
|-
| Meowth
|| {{w|Meowth}} is a cat-like Pokémon. Name may allude to {{w|Howth}}.
|| {{w|Ayr}}
|| 
|-
| Glutenfree
|| {{w|Gluten-free}} food lacks the protein {{w|gluten}}. This allows {{w|coeliac disease}} sufferers to enjoy it, but has also become a dietary fad in itself.
|| {{w|Cairnryan}}, {{w|Dumfries and Galloway}}
|| 
|-
| Blighton
|| A mashup of {{w|Brighton}} and {{w|Blighty}} Or a reference to {{w|Enid Blyton}}, a noted UK children’s author.
|| The {{w|Scottish Borders}}
|| The real Brighton is much further south, on the south coast.
|-
| North Sea
|| {{w|North Sea|No joke}}
|| North Sea
|| 
|-
| Eyemouth
|| {{w|Eyemouth|No joke}} 
|| near {{w|Newcastle-upon-Tyne}}
|| The real Eyemouth is further north, where "Seasedge" is marked on the map.
|-
| Earhand
|| A pun on Eyemouth
|| {{w|Carlisle}}
|| 
|-
| Hairskull
|| A pun on Eyemouth
|| {{w|Teesside}}
|| 
|-
| Belfast DeVoe
|| {{w|Belfast}}, capital of Northern Ireland, mashed up with the rock band {{w|Bell Biv DeVoe}}
|| {{w|Belfast}}
|| 
|-
| Lakebottom
|| The {{w|Lake District}}. "-bottom" is a common placename across Northern England, and refers to a town in a valley.
|| {{w|Lake District}}
|| Below Lakebottom is a sketch of a lake with yachts on it. This is illustrative and doesn't correspond to any of the actual lakes which would be barely visible on this map. There are 16 'lakes' in the Lake District, but only one ({{w|Bassenthwaite Lake}}) actually has 'lake' in its name.
|-
| Braintree
|| {{w|Braintree, Essex|Not a joke}}
|| {{w|North Yorkshire}}
|| The real Braintree is much further south, near where "Paulblart" is on the map. Also a possible reference to the [https://www.braintreepayments.com Braintree] online payments platform (widely advertised on podcasts), or a stop at the end of the Red Line in Boston.
|-
| Skinflower
|| A pun on Braintree
|| {{w|Yorkshire Dales}}
|| 
|-
| Bjork
|| {{w|Björk}} is an Icelandic singer
|| {{w|East Riding of Yorkshire}}
|| The reference is presumably to York (historically known as Jórvík), although it's a bit too far east.
|-
| Weedle
|| {{w|Weedle}} is a Pokémon
|| {{w|Forest of Bowland}}
|| In the original Pokémon Red and Blue games Weedle is most notably found in '{{w|Viridian Forest}}' which - like the real-life Forest of Bowland - is known for its diverse wildlife.
|-
| Eeugh
|| An expression of disgust
|| {{w|Kingston-upon-Hull}} (generally just "Hull")
|| Pronounced 'ull  by locals
|-
| Crewneck
|| A shirt with a {{w|Crewneck|simple round collar}}.
|| {{w|Blackpool}}
|| There is a town called {{w|Crewe}} somewhat further south than shown in Cheshire.
|-
| Paisley
|| {{w|Paisley, Renfrewshire|No joke}}. It sounds funny to Americans because it's associated with {{w|Paisley (design)|paisley}} fabric, a Persian-style print invented in the town. Possibly a pun on {{w|Parsley|parsley}}, a herb.
|| {{w|Burnley}}
|| The real Paisley is in Scotland, near Glasgow.
|-
| Basil
|| Also {{w|Basil|a herb}}, and {{w|Basil Fawlty|one of the most famous British TV characters}}.
|| {{w|Scunthorpe}}
|| 
|-
| Aidenn
|| An apparent pun on the {{w|Scouse}} accent: {{w|h-dropping}} and {{w|th-stopping}} mean the common "hey, then" would be pronounced "ai denn".
|| {{w|Merseyside}}
|| 
|-
| Hillfolk
|| {{w|Hillfolk}} is an RPG. "-hill" (referring to, well, a hill) is common in British placenames, and "-folk" (referring to a tribe or culture) is seen in ''Suffolk'' and ''Norfolk''. Possibly also a reference to {{w|Hobbits}}, a race of little people that live under hills in The Lord of the Rings.
|| {{w|Manchester}}
|| Manchester's name does in fact reference hills: it means "castle on the {{w|breast-shaped hill}}"
|-
| Waterdown
|| To "water something down" is to weaken it. "-down" is common in British placenames and refers to {{w|Downland|chalk hills}}. Possibly a contraction from the book and movie: Watership Down.
|| Near {{w|Grimsby}}
|| 
|-
| Dubstep
|| {{w|Dubstep}} is a genre of electronic music with a heavy bass line.
|| {{w|Dublin}}
|| Dublin is the only non-UK settlement in the map, and one of two on the island of Ireland.
|-
| Borough-upon-Mappe
|| By being recorded here, this is literally a borough upon a map. The "-upon-" is a common element of placenames for towns on rivers, although there's no River Mappe. Possibly referencing the fact that the town is on a "mappe" (map)?
|| {{w|Lincolnshire Wolds}}
||
|-
| Fhqwhgads
|| "[http://www.hrwiki.org/wiki/Fhqwhgads Fhqwhgads]" is a joke from the Homestar Runner internet cartoon. In the cartoon, the main character read a fanmail that was signed only with a random keyboard mash of characters, which Strong Bad shortened to "Fhqwhgads," a name that became a running gag on the cartoon.
|| {{w|Wrexham}}
|| This is near the Welsh border; Welsh names often look like a mish-mash of consonants to English speakers ignorant of Welsh orthography; within a few miles of Wrexham are towns like {{w|Yr Wyddgrug}} ("Mold" in English), {{w|Cefn-y-bedd}}, {{w|Gwernymynydd}} and {{w|Llanarmon Dyffryn Ceiriog}}.
|-
| Cadbury
|| {{w|Cadbury}} is a British chocolate company.
|| Near {{w|Boston, Lincolnshire}}
|| Cadbury actually built a town for its workers... but it's called {{w|Bournville}}. There are several towns called {{w|Cadbury_(disambiguation)#Places|Cadbury}} in the UK (where the Cadbury family presumably got its name), but none are near here.
|-
| Cabinetry
|| The art of making {{w|cabinets}}.
|| Near {{w|Oswestry}}
||Several towns in the English Midlands have names ending in -try, including Oswestry. "Cabinetry" could be a pun on {{w|Coventry}}, which lies further to the east.
|-
| The Shire
|| {{w|Shire (Middle-earth)|The Shire}} is home to the {{w|Hobbits}} in {{w|Middle-Earth}}
|| {{w|Midlands}}
|| Tolkien drew inspiration for the Shire from the {{w|West Midlands (region)|West Midlands}}, although Tolkien was from the southern part of the Midlands (roughly where Dampshire is on the map).
An internet posting titled [http://www.snopes.com/politics/soapbox/revocation.asp "A Letter to the U.S" after the 2016 Presidential Election"], falsely attributed to John Cleese, could also have been inspiration for this map. It in particular says: "3. You should learn to distinguish English and Australian accents. It really isn't that hard. English accents are not limited to cockney, upper-class twit or Mancunian (Daphne in Frasier). Scottish dramas such as 'Taggart' will no longer be broadcast with subtitles.You must learn that there is no such place as Devonshire in England. The name of the county is "Devon." If you persist in calling it Devonshire, all American States will become "shires" e.g. Texasshire Floridashire, Louisianashire." 
|-
| Landmouth
|| Literal description
|| {{w|The Wash}}
|| 
|-
| Brandon
|| {{w|Brandon#United Kingdom|Not a joke}}
|| {{w|The Fens}}
|| There are several Brandons in the UK, the nearest being where "Keebler" is on the map. The area shown is borderline-uninhabitable, as it is marshland and lies mostly below sea-level. Only a few farms and isolated hamlets exist here.
|-
| Hamwich
|| A ham sandwich. Both "-ham" and "-wich" are common generic placenames.  The village called simply "Ham" and the other called "Sandwich" are fairly close to each other, with a famous roadsign that points to "Ham Sandwich" between them.  The bread-slices-and-filling foodstuff is named for the 4th Earl of Sandwich, and hence ultimately from the town of the same name.
|| {{w|Norwich}}
|| Likely to be coincidence but the "Cheese Hamwich" is a breaded cheese and turkey food product sold by {{w|Bernard Matthews Ltd}} whose food processing facility is based not far from this map location.
|-
| West Norsussex
|| Mash-up of {{w|West Sussex}} ("South Saxons") with the obsolete {{w|Wessex}} ("West Saxons") and never extant {{w|Norsex}} ("North Saxons")
|| {{w|Midlands}}
||
|-
| Redsox
|| The {{w|Boston Red Sox}} are a baseball team
|| {{w|The Fens}}
||  The Boston Red Sox play at Fenway Park. The map location is not far from the British {{w|Boston, Lincolnshire|Boston}} 
|-
| Keebler
|| The {{w|Keebler Elves}} advertise cookies in the US
|| {{w|Elveden}}
|| The name of this village in Thetford Forest means "valley of the elves". 
|-
| Bloughshire
|| Most British counties have "-shire" in their name. Originally it meant they were administered by a {{w|sheriff}}. However, they are usually no longer known by those names in Wales.
|| {{w|Powys}}
||  
|-
| Lionsgate
|| {{w|Lionsgate|A film studio}}
|| {{w|Leicester}}
|| The word/suffix "-gate" in placenames often refer to {{w|Harrogate|ancient streets or roads}}, or possibly such a way through a gap that is natural (e.g. {{w|Ramsgate}}'s cliffs) or in a city wall (which can thus be sealed, or 'gated'). There are no obvious inspirations for Lionsgate in that part of the country &emdash; ''Ram''sgate, in particular, is at the extreme eastern end of the southern edge of the UK.
|-
| Kingsbottom
|| Another "-bottom". A possible reference to {{w|King's Landing}}, the capital of the Seven Kingdoms of {{w|Westeros}} and one of its districts Fleabottom.
|| {{w|Suffolk Coast National Nature Reserve|Suffolk Coast}}
||  Possibly named for the town of {{w|King's Lynn}}, also located in East Anglia but close to its north coast.
|-
| Aberforth
|| {{w|Aberforth Dumbledore}} is {{w|Albus Dumbledore}}'s brother in the ''Harry Potter'' series. The name is sometimes translated as "from the river", but without any etymological references. "Aber" is Welsh for a "river mouth" or estuary, and is widespread in Wales, and occasionally found due to Celtic influence in other parts of the UK (such as {{w|Aberdeen}}).
|| {{w|Aberystwyth}}
|| {{w|Aberporth}} ("Mouth [of the] port" - the Welsh equivalent of the English name Portsmouth) is a real town located a little further southwest along the Welsh coast. {{w|Forth}} may be a reference to the {{w|Firth of Forth}} in Scotland, where "Firth" means estuary or fjord, and "Forth" is thought to mean "the open air". Aberforth would literally mean "the mouth of the river Forth", which is the location of {{w|Edinburgh}} in Scotland. Alternatively, "forth" in Welsh could be a soft mutated form of the Welsh name "{{w|Borth}}" (the name of a town - but not a river - a little further north along the coast), which is itself a soft mutated form of the word "porth" meaning port.
|-
| South Norwessex
|| Another mash-up of {{w|Sussex}} ("South Saxons") with the obsolete {{w|Wessex}} ("West Saxons") and never extant {{w|Norsex}} ("North Saxons"). Also southwest of West Norsussex.
|| {{w|Birmingham}}
|| 
|-
| Dryford
|| Would refer to a river crossing without water. "{{w|Ford (crossing)|-ford}}" is a common placename element.
|| {{w|Shropshire Hills}}
||
|-
| Frampton
|| There are many {{w|Frampton}}s in the UK. It means "town on the river Frome" - and there are also several {{w|River Frome}}s. The name is famous thanks to rock musician {{w|Peter Frampton}}
|| {{w|Bury St Edmunds}}
||see also "Southframpton"
|-
| Cambridge
|| {{w|Cambridge|No joke}}
|| {{w|Cambridge}}
|| Cambridge and Oxford, the two most prestigious university towns, are correctly marked. Together, they form {{w|Oxbridge}}
|-
| Kingsfriend
|| Possibly a joke about the royal patronage given to certain towns - for instance, {{w|Bognor Regis}} and {{w|Royal Wootton Bassett}}. Also {{w|Knighton, Powys|Knighton}} (a King's friend?) is very close to this locale, and so is {{w|Kington, Herefordshire|Kington}}.
|| Near the England-Wales border
||
|-
| Cair Paravel
|| {{w|Cair Paravel}} is the castle where the ruler of {{w|Narnia}} lives in the ''Narnia'' series.
|| {{w|Dedham Vale}}
|| 
|-
| Camelot
|| {{w|Camelot}} was (in legend) {{w|King Arthur}}'s court.
|| Near the England-Wales border
|| The King Arthur myth did in fact originate in the Welsh culture. However, most sites associated with Camelot, such as {{w|Winchester}}, {{w|Glastonbury}} and {{w|Cadbury Castle}}, are in England.
|-
| Nothingham
|| A pun on {{w|Nottingham}}, famous for {{w|Sherwood Forest}}, the legendary home of {{w|Robin Hood}}.
|| Near {{w|Northampton}}
|| 
|-
| Cumberbatch
|| A surname, best known as that of actor {{w|Benedict Cumberbatch}}.
|| {{w|Harlow}}
|| The surname of a famous actress is replaced with that of a famous actor
|-
| Dampshire
|| A pun on the county of {{w|Hampshire}}. Generically a joking reference to any county, particularly of the {{w|West Country}}, to imply it is particularly prone to rain.
|| Gloucestershire
|| 
|-
| The CW
|| {{w|The CW|An American TV channel}}.
|| {{w|Pembrokeshire}}
|| Presumably the placement is a reference to Welsh words such as "cwm" which use W as a vowel.
|-
| Whaling
|| The practice of hunting whales. May be a reference to other -ing towns like {{w|Reading, Berkshire|Reading}} (which is actually pronounced "redding", not "reeding"), and also to its location in Wales.
|| {{w|Merthyr Tydfil}}
|| 
|-
| Paulblart
|| ''{{w|Paul Blart: Mall Cop}}'' is a 2009 comedy film starring Kevin James
|| Near {{w|Chelmsford}}
|| Possibly a humorous contrast with Cumberbatch above, a highbrow British classical actor followed by a lowbrow American movie character.
|-
| Oxford
|| {{w|Oxford|No joke}}
|| {{w|Oxford}}
|| See Cambridge. Surprisingly, Randall made no attempt to troll readers by switching the locations of Cambridge and Oxford. Or he did, but ironically from the wrong 'correct' assumption!
|-
| Moorhen
|| The {{w|moorhen}} is a waterfowl.
|| {{w|Gower Peninsula}}
|| Possibly punning on nearby {{w|Swansea}}.
|-
| Cardigan
|| {{w|Cardigan, Ceredigion|No joke}} - it seems funny to Americans because of the {{w|Cardigan (sweater)|knitted sweater}} popularised by the {{w|James Brudenell, 7th Earl of Cardigan|Earl of Cardigan}}
|| {{w|Newport, Wales}}
|| The actual Cardigan is on the west coast. The name may be punning on the city of {{w|Cardiff}}, capital of Wales, which is further south-west.
|-
| BBC Channel 4
|| A composite of {{w|Channel 4}} and the {{w|BBC}} (UK TV operators) confusing the meaning of TV channel with a geographic channel. There ''is'' a {{w|BBC Four}} (digital TV channel) ''and'' a {{w|BBC Radio 4}} (FM and digital radio) with an {{w|BBC Radio 4 Extra|adoptive daughter-station}} (digital only, originally called BBC7), but none of these are ever really called "BBC Channel 4" by locals, and it is hard to say what detail 'an American' might ''think'' he knows.
|| {{w|Bristol Channel}}
|| 
|-
| London
|| By virtue of being the capital and largest city, as well as a famous {{w|world city}}, London is one of the few cities in Britain that anyone, no matter how ignorant of British geography, can manage to name correctly.
|| London
|| It is not unknown for foreigners ''and'' British alike (even some residents of London) to assume that London has a more central location in England (such as {{w|Midlands|'The Midlands'}}) or {{w|Britannia Inferior|even further towards the north}}. Randall seems to be more knowledgable than this.
|-
| GMT
|| A reference to {{w|Greenwich Mean Time}}. Shown on the map near the London bourough of Greenwich through which the GMT meridian passes.
|| {{w|Greenwich}} (roughly)
|| 
|-
| Corbyn
|| A reference to the leader (at the time of publication) of the UK {{w|Labour Party (UK)|Labour Party}} {{w|Jeremy Corbyn}}.
|| {{w|The Cotswolds}}
|| May be a confusion with the town of {{w|Corby}} although it is not near the location shown.
|-
| Tems-upon-Thames
|| A joke about the counter-intuitive pronunciation of {{w|Thames}}.
|| {{w|Rochester}}
|| 
|-
| Minas Tirith
|| {{w|Minas Tirith}} is the capital of Gondor in ''Lord of the Rings'' and is built on the side of a mountain.
|| {{w|Bristol}}
|| Clifton Village, in Bristol, is built on the side of the Avon Gorge so could be compared to {{w|Minas Tirith}}. Nearby {{w|Cheddar Gorge}} is famous for its steep cliffs that resemble the landscape from Lord of the Rings.  
|-
| Hogsmeade
|| {{w|Hogsmeade}} is the nearest village to Hogwarts in the ''Harry Potter'' books.
|| {{w|Dover}}
|| The fictional Hogsmeade was in Scotland. Randall shows the {{w|Channel Tunnel}} running from there, a possible reference to Hogsmeade's secret connections to Hogwarts.
|-
| Tubemap
|| The {{w|Tube Map}} is the map of the {{w|London Underground}}, widely considered a masterpiece of design.
|| {{w|Outer London}}
|| 
|-
| Cambnewton
|| {{w|Cam Newton}} is quarterback for the {{w|Carolina Panthers}}. "Cam-" is common for placenames on any of the several British rivers called "{{w|Cam River|Cam}}", while "Newton" means "new town". Also possibly a pun on Camden Town, a touristic district in North London, although not its actual location on the map.
|| {{w|West Country}}
|| 
|-
| Efrafa
|| Efrafa is a rabbit warren in the story ''{{w|Watership Down}}''.
|| {{w|Chidden}}
|| According to the story, the warren is located roughly here - the real {{w|Watership Down, Hampshire|Watership Down}} is in Hampshire.
|-
| Chansey
|| {{w|Chansey|Another Pokémon}}. "-sey" is a common suffix meaning "island".
|| {{w|Dungeness (headland|Dungeness}}
|| 
|-
| Oughghough
|| Playing on common place name elements, "oughghough" has no clear pronunciation under the rules of English. It could be "Uff-guff", "Oo-gow", "Uh-guh" or any combination of these sounds. The name looks similar to the real {{w|Loughborough}} ("Luff-bruh")
|| {{w|Barnstaple}}
|| Legend has it that Loughborough was once pronounced 'Loogabarooga' by a visiting Australian.
|-
| Sundial
|| A {{w|sundial}} is a clock using a shadow to tell the time.
|| {{w|Wiltshire}}
|| The location roughly corresponds with {{w|Stonehenge}}, an ancient stone circle that was likely used to track the sun (though as a ritual calendar, rather than a clock)
|-
| Dobby
|| {{w|Magical_creatures_in_Harry_Potter#Dobby|Dobby}} is a character in {{w|Harry Potter}}.
|| {{w|Southampton}}
|| Similar to {{w|Derby}}.
|-
| Lower Bottom
|| Another -bottom. Also a redundancy, as the "bottom" is the lowest place by definition.
|| {{w|Devon}}
||
|-
| Southframpton
|| A confusion with {{w|Southampton}} which is nearby the location shown. The use of the postfix "frampton" is a reference to the "Frampton" elsewhere on the map, just as Southampton is distinguished from {{w|Northampton}}.
|| {{w|Milford on Sea}}
|| Frampton happens to be a common surname in the area.
|-
| Blandford
|| {{w|Blandford|No joke}}
|| {{w|Cornwall}}
|| The real Blandford is a bit further east, in Dorset, roughly under the m in 'Southframpton'.
|-
| Menthol
|| {{w|Menthol}} is a chemical with minty taste that produces a cooling sensation, and is used in mints and flavoured cigarettes.
|| {{w|Eastbourne}}
|| Possibly a reference to Methil in Fife (but possibly not).
|-
| West Sea
|| Literal description.
|| {{w|Atlantic Ocean}}
|| Historically, this was the name for the ocean off the UK's west coast. According to the {{w|Shipping Forecast#Region names|list of sea areas}} used in the UK's {{w|Shipping Forecast}}, that region of sea is called "Lundy"
|-
| Tarp
|| Tarp, short for {{w|tarpaulin}}, is a waterproof sheet for storage and weather protection.
|| {{w|Teignmouth}}
|| 
|-
| Longbit
|| Literal description.
|| {{w|Cornwall}}
|| 
|}

==Transcript==

:[A black-and-white map of Great Britain. The detail on the map is minimal, showing mainly the outlines of the land, chevrons representing otherwise sparse areas of high hills or mountains, and points representing cities. The only other features are a small drawing of a protractor south of one peninsula, and a lake with two small sailboats on the west side of the largest landmass. The caption in the upper-right states in large letters "A BRITISH MAP," then in smaller letters underneath, "LABELED BY AN AMERICAN." Most of the map's area is covered by labels for various features, which are listed below.]

 <nowiki>
[In Scotland, from north to south:]
  Helcaraxë
  Blick
  Everdeen
  Norther Sea (to the west)
  Highlands
  Loch Lomond
  Fjordham
  Glassdoor
  Eavestroughs
  Seasedge
  Meowth
  Chough
  Blighton
  Glutenfree

[In England, from north to south:]
  Eyemouth
  Earhand
  Hairskull
  Lakebottom
  Braintree
  Skinflower
  Weedle
  Bjork
  Crewneck
  Paisley
  Eeugh
  Aidenn
  Basil
  Hillfolk
  Waterdown
  Borough-Upon-Mappe
  Cadbury
  Landmouth (to the East)
  The Shire
  West Norsussex
  Redsox
  Hamwich
  Lionsgate
  Keebler
  South Norwessex
  Kingsbottom
  Cambridge
  Frampton
  Nothingham
  Cair Paravel
  Dampshire
  Cumberbatch
  Oxford
  Paulblart
  Corbyn
  London
  GMT
  BBC Channel 4 (to the West)
  Minas Tirith
  Tems-Upon-Thames
  Tubemap
  Hogsmeade
  Cambnewton
  Oughghough
  Efrafa
  Chansey
  Sundial
  Lower Bottom
  Dobby
  Menthol
  West Sea (to the West)
  Blandford
  Southframpton
  Tarp
  Longbit

[In Wales, from north to south:]
  Fhqwhgads
  Cabinetry
  Bloughshire
  Aberforth
  Dryford
  Kingsfriend
  Camelot
  The CW
  Whaling
  Moorhen
  Cardigan

[In Northern Ireland:]
  Belfast Devoe

[In the Republic of Ireland:]
  Dubstep
 </nowiki>


{{comic discussion}}

[[Category:Maps]]
[[Category:Harry Potter]]
[[Category:Chronicles of Narnia]]
[[Category:Fiction]]