Editing 3169: EPIRBs

{{comic
| number    = 3169
| date      = November 17, 2025
| title     = EPIRBs
| image     = epirbs_2x.png
| imagesize = 317x386px
| noexpand  = true
| titletext = 'Oh no, the box is drifting out into the harbor!' 'Yeah, I wouldn't worry about losing it.'
}}

==Explanation==
{{incomplete|This page was created BY AN UNATTENDED DISTRESS BEACON. Don't remove this notice too soon.}}

An {{w|emergency position-indicating radiobeacon}} (EPIRB) is a maritime safety device that, when it comes in contact with water, sends a distress signal via satellite. This signal is detected by search and rescue organizations such as the {{w|United States Coast Guard}} so that they can dispatch a rescue team. An EPIRB's purpose is to automatically notify such authorities of emergencies at sea, such as a ship sinking when it is out of range of normal radio communications and/or where those affected may not be able to reliably communicate their plight and correct location.
 	
In the comic [[Megan]] and [[Cueball]] accidentally drop a box {{w|CT#Other uses|containing}} 1,600 EPIRBs into the water while moving it across a gangway between a ship and a dock. Because EPIRBs automatically activate when immersed in water, and apparently the crate contains fully enabled units not otherwise held within waterproof packaging, the result would be 1,600 simultaneous signals of a ship sinking. The text beneath the comic is them calling the Coast Guard to apologize for the overwhelming flood of signals. It appears this is not the first such call they have made, though it is unclear whether they have called multiple times to apologise for the same incident, or they are habitually careless in their handling of these packages.

The automatic nature of EPIRBs could allow such an overload if a package of them were dropped in water, and it would cause difficulty for a search and rescue group to receive so many signals at once. Not only that, but Cueball and Megan would likely be fired for gross negligence, causing severe financial penalties (which can be as much as $5,000 an hour for rescue assets, potentially reaching hundreds of thousands or millions of dollars for a major incident), safety violations, disruption of operations and legal consequences like significant civil fines and even criminal penalties if the actions were deemed wilful or due to a reckless disregard for safety and the law.

While the Coast Guard may see the 1,600 simultaneous signals at the same geographic location and conclude that it was a likely unintended activation, they still have a bias for action and would begin mobilizing rescue assets until they could verify the false alarm through on-scene verification or successful contact with the owner and "stand down" the full search and rescue response. In reality, though, EPIRBs usually require some sort of pre-activation and would not be in an operable state when packaged in transit and prior to sale or installation on a vessel. 

The title text notes that, because EPIRBs continuously broadcast their location (particularly modern GPIRBs with a GPS feature to provide an actual location and not just a signal to home in on), there is no reason to worry about the box floating out of the harbor and getting lost, because (even if it ''does'' float out of the harbor) there is no risk of "losing" it - there will be 1,600 separate signals indicating where to recover the box.

==Transcript==
:[Megan and Cueball are on a plank between the edge of a ship and the edge of a dock. Only part of the ship can be seen to the left and on the right a single wooden pole can be seen supporting the dock. Megan is near the ship and Cueball near the dock, and there is a rolling cart between them. A large box is tumbling through the air beneath the plank, evidently having fallen off the cart.  The side of the box contains a picture of an image of an EPIRB. The front of the box (facing the reader) has text on it:]
:EPIRB
:Water-activated distress beacons
:1600 CT

:[Caption below the panel:]
:"Hello, Coast Guard? We'd like to apologize once again for the 1,600 simultaneous false alarms this morning..."

{{comic discussion}}<noinclude>

[[Category:Comics featuring Megan]]
[[Category:Comics featuring Cueball]]