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− | + | ==Warning== | |
+ | <div style="background-color: #9698bc; font-size: 100%; border-radius: 15px; padding: 7px;"> | ||
+ | Warning: By continuing on this page or participating on the discussion page, you are acknowledging that you are at risk of being stapled. The owner of this page takes full responsibility in doing so. | ||
+ | </div> | ||
− | + | ==Hello== | |
− | + | {{infobox | |
− | + | | bodyclass = vcard | |
+ | |||
+ | | abovestyle = background-color:{{{bgcolour|#9698bc}}}; | ||
+ | | aboveclass = fn | ||
+ | | above = {{{name|{{PAGENAME}}}}} | ||
+ | |||
+ | | labelstyle = line-height: 1.3em | ||
+ | | datastyle = line-height: 1.3em | ||
+ | |||
+ | | image = [[File:BeretGirl.png]] | ||
+ | | caption = {{{caption|My only known appearance. Fun fact: I am very hard to get a clear picture of.}}} | ||
+ | |||
+ | | label1 = First Appearance | ||
+ | | data1 = Time. | ||
+ | |||
+ | | label2 = Known appearances | ||
+ | | data2 = [[User:BlackHat|Black Hat]] and [[User:Danish|Danish]]'s pages, as well as here. | ||
+ | |||
+ | | label3 = Contribution score | ||
+ | | data3 = [[Special:ContributionScores|{{#cscore:Char Latte49|score}}]] | ||
+ | |||
+ | | label4 = Occupations | ||
+ | | data4 = Bun-counting secretary; stapler gun-wielder | ||
+ | |||
+ | | label5 = Favorite Element | ||
+ | | data5 = Argon | ||
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+ | | label6 = Favorite Piece | ||
+ | | data6 = Infrasonata | ||
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+ | | label7 = Favorite Explain | ||
+ | | data7 = Morse Code | ||
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+ | | label8 = Page Power Source | ||
+ | | data8 = Escalator Power}} | ||
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+ | I don't know why you're here. I don't know ''how'' you got here. There is nothing to look at. Go do something else. Shoo. | ||
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+ | I said shoo! | ||
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+ | Well ok, since you're still here, go to [[Beret Girl]]. | ||
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+ | Seriously, shoo! | ||
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+ | ==Stuff== | ||
+ | I admire your persistence. Here's some stuff: | ||
+ | |||
+ | - I came here to eat scones and misuse staple guns, and [[User:Danish|Danish]] took my scones. | ||
+ | |||
+ | - My favorite xkcd characters are [[Beret Girl]] and [[Beret Guy]], and I also have scones. This isn't a bakery though. | ||
+ | |||
+ | - I've read every single xkcd comic. | ||
+ | |||
+ | - I've also read every single Calvin and Hobbes strip. | ||
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+ | - I stand in for Beret Guy when he's unavailable. | ||
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+ | - If you're looking for [[User:BlackHat|Black Hat]], <s>[[User:Danish|Danish]]</s>, [[Cueball]], or God, they're on the ceiling. (Update: Danish is sucessfully off the ceiling) | ||
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+ | - I'm rather fond of [https://xkcd.com/478/ staple guns]. | ||
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+ | - I work in the bun-counting sector of Beret Guy's business. | ||
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+ | - Newspapers don't taste that good, but are edible in a pinch. | ||
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+ | - I'm studying for my subduction license. | ||
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+ | - I can create soup cables, although only chicken noodle at the moment. | ||
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+ | - '''No''' I don't have a webcam, you two. | ||
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+ | - [https://www.decisionproblem.com/paperclips/index2.html (;] <!--Nerd sniping!--> | ||
+ | |||
+ | - My favorite comics: [https://www.explainxkcd.com/wiki/index.php/Category:Comics_featuring_Beret_Guy all of these], [https://xkcd.com/1576/ I Could Care Less], [https://xkcd.com/941/ Depth Perception], [https://xkcd.com/260/ The Glass Necklace], [https://xkcd.com/162/ Angular Momentum], [https://xkcd.com/1305/ Undocumented Feature], [https://xkcd.com/769/ War], [https://xkcd.com/478/ The Staple Madness], [https://xkcd.com/1176/ Those Not Present], and [https://xkcd.com/2247/ Weird Hill]. I like a lot more, but am too lazy to put them all on here. | ||
+ | |||
+ | =Beret Guy's Business= | ||
+ | Hello, and welcome to Beret Guy's Business! We offer many services, including antiques, a bikeshare program (temporary), gold-to-lead transmutation, lead-to-gold transmutation, cloud storage, and a Bun Alert system. Recently, we have also started offering curbside pickup for goods from the cursed shop on the corner, like scones, soup cables, business cards, lug nuts, gulls, fresh pears, cursed amulets, inch-thick wood cylinders for your typical Yggdrasil-type houseplant, cursed chairs, the video from ''The Ring'', and groceries. Feel free to stop by anytime! |