Difference between revisions of "1350: Lorenz/Transcript"
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| − | This is the complete transcript for the dynamic comic [[1350: Lorenz]], formatted following a {{w|tree structure}}, as you can see from the table of contents below. A permalink is provided for every panel, at least at the end of a comic, as not all the storylines that were available originally are available today. Note that, if there are more than four choices, a permalink is not enough to get to the first panel of that chain. Similarly, the choices you have when you choose a permalink won't come in the same order. To be certain to have all choices, there are permalinks on all steps of a story tree. | + | This is the complete transcript for the dynamic comic [[1350: Lorenz]], formatted following a {{w|tree structure}}, as you can see from the table of contents below. A permalink is provided for every panel, at least at the end of a comic, as not all the storylines that were available originally are available today. Note that, if there are more than four choices, a permalink is not enough to get to the first panel of that chain. Similarly, the choices you have when you choose a permalink won't come in the same order. To be certain to have all choices, there are permalinks on all steps of a story tree. __NOEDITSECTION__ |
| + | :'''Knit Cap''': | ||
| + | :[Typing on the laptop and thinking.] | ||
| + | :([https://xkcd.com/1350/#p:be7a3304-b685-11e3-8001-94de80a03a29 Permalink])<br> | ||
__TOC__ | __TOC__ | ||
| − | + | {{cot|expand=yes|<h2>'''Refresh Branch'''</h2>}} | |
| − | |||
| − | {{cot|<h2>'''Refresh Branch'''</h2>}} | ||
:Refresh... No new email... Refresh... No new tweets... Refresh... ([https://xkcd.com/1350/#p:6479d184-b9a0-11e3-b947-94de80a03a39 Permalink]) | :Refresh... No new email... Refresh... No new tweets... Refresh... ([https://xkcd.com/1350/#p:6479d184-b9a0-11e3-b947-94de80a03a39 Permalink]) | ||
<div class="mw-collapsible-content">:[Hairy walks in] '''Hairy''': | <div class="mw-collapsible-content">:[Hairy walks in] '''Hairy''': | ||
| Line 492: | Line 493: | ||
| − | {{cot|<h2>'''Stupid Tiles Branch'''</h2>}} | + | |
| + | |||
| + | {{cot|expand=yes|<h2>'''Stupid Tiles Branch'''</h2>}} | ||
:These stupid tiles... I'll just play one more game. | :These stupid tiles... I'll just play one more game. | ||
([http://www.xkcd.com/1350/#p:79f036ac-b9a0-11e3-9003-94de80a03a39 Permalink]) | ([http://www.xkcd.com/1350/#p:79f036ac-b9a0-11e3-9003-94de80a03a39 Permalink]) | ||
| Line 1,298: | Line 1,301: | ||
| − | {{cot|<h2>'''Political Thing Branch'''</h2>}} | + | |
| + | |||
| + | {{cot|expand=yes|<h2>'''Political Thing Branch'''</h2>}} | ||
:Oh. Hey. There's some kind of political thing going on. ([http://www.xkcd.com/1350/#p:16a6d0c6-b9a3-11e3-8ea4-94de80a03a39 Permalink]) | :Oh. Hey. There's some kind of political thing going on. ([http://www.xkcd.com/1350/#p:16a6d0c6-b9a3-11e3-8ea4-94de80a03a39 Permalink]) | ||
<div class="mw-collapsible-content">'''Laptop''': "...and let's go live to the debate."<br>[Two politicians are debating on TV.]<br>'''Politician 1''': | <div class="mw-collapsible-content">'''Laptop''': "...and let's go live to the debate."<br>[Two politicians are debating on TV.]<br>'''Politician 1''': | ||
| Line 1,348: | Line 1,353: | ||
| − | {{cot|<h2>'''BSD Branch'''</h2>}} | + | |
| + | |||
| + | {{cot|expand=yes|<h2>'''BSD Branch'''</h2>}} | ||
:Let's see if BSD is any easier to install nowadays. ([http://www.xkcd.com/1350/#p:00ac9f74-b9a0-11e3-81f8-94de80a03a39 Permalink]) | :Let's see if BSD is any easier to install nowadays. ([http://www.xkcd.com/1350/#p:00ac9f74-b9a0-11e3-81f8-94de80a03a39 Permalink]) | ||
<div class="mw-collapsible-content">[Knit Cap is confused, staring at her laptop.]<br>'''Knit Cap''': ??<br>'''Knit Cap''': | <div class="mw-collapsible-content">[Knit Cap is confused, staring at her laptop.]<br>'''Knit Cap''': ??<br>'''Knit Cap''': | ||
| Line 1,512: | Line 1,519: | ||
| − | {{cot|<h2>'''Facebook Branch'''</h2>}} | + | |
| + | |||
| + | {{cot|expand=yes|<h2>'''Facebook Branch'''</h2>}} | ||
:Hurry! We're in talks with Facebook. ([https://xkcd.com/1350/#p:2b330d48-bb01-11e3-8003-002590d77bdd Permalink]) | :Hurry! We're in talks with Facebook. ([https://xkcd.com/1350/#p:2b330d48-bb01-11e3-8003-002590d77bdd Permalink]) | ||
<div class="mw-collapsible-content">'''Hairy''': | <div class="mw-collapsible-content">'''Hairy''': | ||
| Line 1,524: | Line 1,533: | ||
| − | {{cot|<h2>'''Gravity Branch'''</h2>}} | + | |
| + | |||
| + | {{cot|expand=yes|<h2>'''Gravity Branch'''</h2>}} | ||
:Gravity. Lots of it. (This option is no longer available as of 2014-04-22 - [https://xkcd.com/1350/#p:87adb65e-baa2-11e3-8012-002590d77bdd Permalink])</div></div> | :Gravity. Lots of it. (This option is no longer available as of 2014-04-22 - [https://xkcd.com/1350/#p:87adb65e-baa2-11e3-8012-002590d77bdd Permalink])</div></div> | ||
{{cob}} | {{cob}} | ||
Latest revision as of 14:03, 21 June 2025
This is the complete transcript for the dynamic comic 1350: Lorenz, formatted following a tree structure, as you can see from the table of contents below. A permalink is provided for every panel, at least at the end of a comic, as not all the storylines that were available originally are available today. Note that, if there are more than four choices, a permalink is not enough to get to the first panel of that chain. Similarly, the choices you have when you choose a permalink won't come in the same order. To be certain to have all choices, there are permalinks on all steps of a story tree.
- Knit Cap:
- [Typing on the laptop and thinking.]
- (Permalink)
Contents
- 1 Refresh Branch
- 1.1 So you're still refusing to use Facebook?
- 1.1.1 I will not submit to peer pressure... Wait I should tweet that, hold on.
- 1.1.2 I can only stand so many motivational and cat pics, man!
- 1.1.3 That's right, kids! Now you can have your very own Facebook page!
- 1.1.3.1 Narcissism has never been this easy! Back in my day, we had to maually brag about every minor event in our life all over town!
- 1.1.3.2 It makes all your in-person social interactions more awkward!
- 1.1.3.3 Become a retro hipster before everyone else by adopting the most mainstream fad!
- 1.1.3.4 Now let's take this crossover to the next level!
- 1.1.4 I am Facebooksaurus!
- 1.2 Wanna build a snowman?
- 1.3 Hey. I hear Godot is in town. Wanna try to meet him?
- 1.4 Did you get my e-mail yet?
- 1.5 You know. Your car's on fire.
- 1.1 So you're still refusing to use Facebook?
- 2 Stupid Tiles Branch
- 2.1 There's something weird out on the lawn.
- 2.2 There's a dinosaur at the door.
- 2.3 I heard Home Depot has 1024 bathroom tiles.
- 2.4 I think I saw a "4096" tile outside somewhere.
- 3 Political Thing Branch
- 4 BSD Branch
- 4.1 Now I just need to look up what a "beard error" is...
- 4.2 Wait. What's on this other partition?
- 4.3 Why is Python importing Skynet?
- 4.4 My keyboard has to support SSH over USB?
- 5 Facebook Branch
- 6 Gravity Branch
Refresh Branch |
|---|
:[Hairy walks in] Hairy:
So you're still refusing to use Facebook?(Permalink)
Dinosaur: I will not submit to peer pressure... Wait I should tweet that, hold on.I can only stand so many motivational and cat pics, man!That's right, kids! Now you can have your very own Facebook page!(Permalink)
Dinosaur: Narcissism has never been this easy! Back in my day, we had to maually brag about every minor event in our life all over town!It makes all your in-person social interactions more awkward!Become a retro hipster before everyone else by adopting the most mainstream fad!Now let's take this crossover to the next level!I am Facebooksaurus!Wanna build a snowman?Hey. I hear Godot is in town. Wanna try to meet him?Did you get my e-mail yet?
(Permalink)
Knit Cap: Yeah, I'm thinking Thai for lunch(Permalink)
Hairy: Has this hole always been here?(Permalink)
Hairy: I think I see lizard people
(Permalink)
Hairy: (There is a speak-line from him up to a possible text – but no suggestion can be reached as there are no choices for Knit Cap - as of 2014-04-22.) Because I'm not sure it's entirely safe.
(Permalink)
Knit Cap: Nothing ever is
(Permalink)
Knit Cap: (There is a speak-line from her up to a possible text – but no suggestion can be reached as there are no choices for Hairy - as of 2014-04-22.) Russia is invading countries. North Korea is testing nukes… And you're worried about a small hole?
(Permalink)
Hairy: (There is a speak-line from him up to a possible text – but no suggestion can be reached as there are no choices for Knit Cap - as of 2014-04-22.) Suggest a Line…
Suggest a Line…
I don't know if actually going to Thailand is necessary…(Permalink)
Hairy: (There is a speak-line from him up to a possible text – but no suggestion can be reached as there are no choices for Knit Cap - as of 2014-04-22.) Is it common for Thai businesses to have rooftop access?(Permalink)
Yeah. Except over there, it's floor access, since everything is upside-down
(Permalink)
Hairy: Suggest a line… (No options as of 2014-04-22.) Did you know the little prince lives just over there?
(Permalink)
Hairy: Suggest a line… (No options as of 2014-04-22.) You don't get out a lot do you?
(Permalink)
Hairy: Suggest a line… (No options as of 2014-04-22.) You've never been to Thailand, have you?
(Permalink)
Hairy: Suggest a line… (No options as of 2014-04-22.) There's a small crack in the pavement(Permalink)
Knit Cap: Didn't he get my e-mail about parkour?
(Permalink)
Knit Cap: Why didn't you tuck roll over that cravass?
(Permalink)
Hairy: Suggest a line… (No options as of 2014-04-22.) How did you not notice until we were up on the roof?
(Permalink)
Hairy: Suggest a line… (No options as of 2014-04-22.) You were supposed to do a double rebound off the small crack!
(Permalink)
Hairy: Suggest a line… (No options as of 2014-04-22.) I picked this route because of the cracks in the pavement.
(Permalink)
Hairy: Suggest a line… (No options as of 2014-04-22.) Suggest a line…
The one with the cats of the one about geocaching in the Pentagon?(Permalink)
Knit Cap: I hope it's open. Otherwise we'll just have to resort to those cat videos.(Permalink)
Hairy: Suggest a line… (No options as of 2014-04-22.) Either way we're getting on a watch-list.(Permalink)
Hairy: I have the funny feeling that you've been on one for some time.
(Permalink) - only Feeling that you've been on one for some time. can be seen in the image as Knit Cap's text overlaps Hairy's.
Glad I brought the good GPS. …And a taser.
(Permalink)
Hairy: (There is a speak-line from him up to a possible text – but no suggestion can be reached as there are no choices for Knit Cap - as of 2014-04-22.) Everyone knows that stuff is fake. Snopes proved it.
(Permalink)
Hairy: (There is a speak-line from him up to a possible text – but no suggestion can be reached as there are no choices for Knit Cap - as of 2014-04-22.) I'm already on six. Two more and I get cake and a swat team sent to my house
(Permalink) - only Cake and a swat team sent to my house can be seen in the image as Knit Cap's text overlaps Hairy's.
Hairy: (There is a speak-line from him up to a possible text – but no suggestion can be reached as there are no choices for Knit Cap - as of 2014-04-22.) So are we really doing this?(Permalink)
Hairy: I'm not sure. How good are you rappelling skills?
(Permalink)
Narrator:
Yes. There are cats in that geocache. Damnit.
(Permalink)
Narrator:
Sure. We spent almost all the bitcoins we got on kickstarter for this. It better work
(Permalink) - only Kickstarter for this. It better work can be seen in the image as Knit Cap's text overlaps Hairy's.
Narrator:
How else can we say that we pentagulated the location of something?
(Permalink) ]) - only Pentagulated the location of something? can be seen in the image as Knit Cap's text overlaps Hairy's.
I don't care what anyone says- Donuts are not a valid breakfast choice.(Permalink)
Hairy: Suggest a line… (No options as of 2014-04-22.) Yes. You didn't see me reply burned into the lawn?(Permalink)
Knit Cap: See? It’s right there! (Permalink)
Hairy: You’ve been hanging out with the man in the black hat again, haven’t you?
(Permalink) - only the man in the black hat again, haven’t you? can be seen in the image as Knit Cap's text overlaps Hairy's.
Knit Cap: (There is a speak-line from her up to a possible text – but no suggestion can be reached as there are no choices for Hairy - as of 2014-05-01.) Guess Google Maps hasn’t updated.
(Permalink)
Narrator:
Huh. My cellphone should have buzzed.
(Permalink)
Narrator:
…Really? Just 'K' ? That seems like a lot of effort.
(Permalink)
So I guess we’re married now?(Permalink)
Hairy: Suggest a line… (No options as of 2014-05-01.) Maybe my font size was too big.(Permalink)
Hairy: Suggest a line… (No options as of 2014-05-01.) It took a lot of gasoline(Permalink)
Hairy: I’m both impressed and terrified.
(Permalink)
Hairy: (There is a speak-line from him up to a possible text – but no suggestion can be reached as there are no choices for Knit Cap - as of 2014-05-01.) You realize my email was about the environment
(Permalink)
When did you do this? You’ve been inside last week.
(Permalink) - only This? You’ve been inside last week. can be seen in the image as Knit Cap's text overlaps Hairy's.
How many cars did you empty of fuel?
(Permalink)
Gmail must be down. Let's check it out.(Permalink)
Hairy: It’s that hell’s light?(Permalink)
Knit Cap: Why else would there be a gaping hole in the ground?
(Permalink)
Hairy: (There is a speak-line from him up to a possible text – but no suggestion can be reached as there are no choices for Knit Cap - as of 2014-05-01.) Nope. Just Carl Gustav Horn talking about evangelion till his audience spontaneously combsted.
(Permalink)
Narrator:
I hope not. Disco parties would be the last temptation Satan needs to use to win.
(Permalink)
Knit Cap: I thought Gmail was around the corner.
(Permalink)
Hairy: Suggest a line… (No options as of 2014-05-01.) How long are you willing to keep walking for?
(Permalink)
Hairy: Suggest a line… (No options as of 2014-05-01.) How long until the internet’s working again?
(Permalink)
Hairy: Suggest a line… (No options as of 2014-05-01.) If nothing else this proves the time dilation effects don’t matter
(Permalink)
Hairy: Suggest a line… (No options as of 2014-05-01.) Nah, just the google internships ghetto.
(Permalink)
I wonder what’s down there(Permalink)
Hairy: Remember that chain email about the hole to hell in Russia?
(Permalink)
Hairy: (There is a speak-line from him up to a possible text – but no suggestion can be reached as there are no choices for Knit Cap - as of 2014-05-01.) Hey, you, what is down there?
(Permalink)
Knit Cap: Satan doesn’t like to be called "you". He prefers "you bastard" or "you devil".
(Permalink)
Ever heard the phrase curiosity killed the cat?
(Permalink)
Would you be more or less afraid is someone had responded?
(Permalink)
Hairy: (There is a speak-line from him up to a possible text – but no suggestion can be reached as there are no choices for Knit Cap - as of 2014-05-01.) No wonder Gmail is down, someone cut their fiber!
(Permalink)
Hairy: (There is a speak-line from him up to a possible text – but no suggestion can be reached as there are no choices for Knit Cap - as of 2014-05-01.) Want to take a look?
(Permalink)
Knit Cap: I bet it’s just an outlet from the city of Ember
(Permalink)
Hairy: Suggest a line… (No options as of 2014-05-01.) When they talk about the singularity, I dion’t think they mean google servers undergoing gravitational collapse!
(Permalink )
Hairy: Suggest a line… (No options as of 2014-05-01.) Jules Vernes probably already discovered all the interesting stiff anyway
(Permalink )
Hairy: Suggest a line… (No options as of 2014-05-01.) That sounds dangerous, but I’m feeling sort of risk-takey right now.
(Permalink)
Hairy: Suggest a line… (No options as of 2014-05-01.) I think I can see my house from here
(Permalink)
Isn’t that Sergey Brin down there?How long do you think he’ll keep digging?(Permalink)
Knit Cap: With a name like Doug, it’s impossible to say
(Permalink)
Hairy: "Doug" is not impossible to say I just did
(Permalink)
Narrator:
Pre-nominative destination is a cruel thing.
(Permalink)
Hairy: (There is a speak-line from him up to a possible text – but no suggestion can be reached as there are no choices for Knit Cap - as of 2014-05-01.) Double impossible if he owns a Buick.
(Permalink)
Suggest a line…
Sometimes no answer is the answer
(Permalink)
Hairy: Suggest a line… (No options as of 2014-05-01.) He’ll keep digging as long as I keep dropping sandwiches on him
(Permalink)
Hairy: Suggest a line… (No options as of 2014-05-01.) Do you think he’s lonely?
(Permalink)
Hairy: Suggest a line… (No options as of 2014-05-01.) You know. Your car's on fire. |
Stupid Tiles Branch |
|---|
[Hairy visits Knit Cap.] Hairy: There's something weird out on the lawn.
Knit Cap: This is an apartment. We don't have a lawn.This branch was complete as of 2014-05-30. (Permalink)
Hairy: OK, two weird things.(Permalink)
Hairy: Who tiled the moat?
(Permalink)
Hairy: Seems costly
(Permalink)
Knit Cap: (There is a speak-line from her up to a possible text – but no suggestion can be reached as there are no choices for Hairy - as of 2014-05-28). And aren't those all primes?
(Permalink)
Hairy: (There is a speak-line from him up to a possible text – but no suggestion can be reached as there are no choices for Knit Cap - as of 2014-05-28.) Was it that guy with a hat again?
(Permalink)
Knit Cap: (There is a speak-line from her up to a possible text – but no suggestion can be reached as there are no choices for Hairy - as of 2014-05-28). And how can you float in the air like this?
(Permalink)
Knit Cap: Suggest a line… Maybe three.
(Permalink)
I think I see cats down there
(Permalink)
On an unrelated note: Don't look down the hole.
(Permalink)
Knit Cap: (There is a speak-line from her up to a possible text – but no suggestion can be reached as there are no choices for Hairy - as of 2014-05-28). I can see a creeper down there
Knit Cap: These videogames are really encroaching on my life.
(Permalink)
Hairy: Suggest a line… (No options as of 2014-05-30.) Damn Griefers
(Permalink)
Hairy: Suggest a line… (No options as of 2014-05-30.) So this is what the outside world is like.
(Permalink)
Hairy: Suggest a line… (No options as of 2014-05-30.) Good source of gunpowder
(Permalink)
Hairy: Suggest a line… (No options as of 2014-05-30.) Is this 1-1 from Mario?(Permalink)
Hairy: Why does that tree looks fake?
(Permalink)
Narrator:
Pikachu: Do you come here often?
(Permalink)
I wish I was president of France
(Permalink)
Do you have a moment to hear about our lord and savior?
(Permalink) - only Moment to hear about our lord and savior? can be seen in the image.
Pikachu: He shall vanquish us all from this slavery!
(Permalink)
Knit Cap: I thought Peta was going to liberate the Pokémon?
(Permalink)
Hairy: Suggest a line… (No options as of 2014-05-30.) I just don't feel like I believe in the Helix fossil anymore
(Permalink)
Hairy: Suggest a line… (No options as of 2014-05-30.) Do you really think we're all slaves?
(Permalink)
Hairy: Suggest a line… (No options as of 2014-05-30.) God either does not exist, or he's got a lot of explaining to do.
(Permalink)
Hairy: Suggest a line… (No options as of 2014-05-30.) Suggest a line… (No options as of 2014-05-30.)
Your GO or your HP!
(Permalink)
Actually, it's the final castle. Grab your Fire Flower!
(Permalink)
Hairy: OK sorry bad joke
(Permalink)
This is what I spent my childhood preparing for!
(Permalink) - only Spent my childhood preparing for! can be seen in the image.
Are you coming onto me?
(Permalink)
Hairy: Suggest a line… Or at least I think it's the final one. Seriously, if Peach isn't here I'm going to be pissed.
(Permalink) - only Peach isn't here I'm going to be pissed. can be seen in the image.
Suggest a line… (No options as of 2014-05-30.)
It's over this way.
I've never been this far before!
Hairy: Are you going insane again?
(Permalink)
Knit Cap: Suggest a line… (No options as of 2014-05-30.) We should order pizza after this.
(Permalink)
Knit Cap: Suggest a line… (No options as of 2014-05-30.) You haven't said anything in a while...
(Permalink)
Knit Cap: Suggest a line… (No options as of 2014-05-30.) Going?
(Permalink)
Knit Cap: Suggest a line… (No options as of 2014-05-30.)
Where'd the bridge go?
Hairy: Did you lose your hover boots again?
(Permalink)
Hairy: Guess we're walking
(Permalink)
Hairy: (There is a speak-line from him up to a possible text – but no suggestion can be reached as there are no choices for Knit Cap - as of 2014-05-30.) Suggest a line…
Didn't we chop this tree down to make the bridge?
(Permalink)
Hairy: Or perhaps that was an alternate reality?
(Permalink)
Knit Cap: No...
(Permalink)
Hairy: Suggest a line… I think I'm stuck in the matrix again.
(Permalink)
Narrator:
Suggest a line…
Where are you taking me?
(Permalink)
Hairy: (There is a speak-line from him up to a possible text – but no suggestion can be reached as there are no choices for Knit Cap - as of 2014-05-30.) Or maybe we have, and I'm remembering something that happened in the future?
(Permalink) - only Something that happened in the future? can be seen in the image.
Suggest a line…
I just figured out how to get to 2048. Quick! We need ducks!
(Permalink) - only How to get to 2048. Quick! We need ducks! can be seen in the image.
Knit Cap: Is that tree following us?
(Permalink)
Knit Cap: Hey, slow down!
(Permalink)
Knit Cap: (There is a speak-line from her up to a possible text – but no suggestion can be reached as there are no choices for Hairy - as of 2014-05-30). Its OK. I've got a blowtorch if it gets any ideas
([link Permalink])
Hairy: (There is a speak-line from him up to a possible text – but no suggestion can be reached as there are no choices for Knit Cap - as of 2014-05-30.) No, it's just caught in your magnetic field.
(Permalink)
Narrator:
Narrator: Magikarp! I choose you!
(Permalink)
Narrator:
Trainer throws a pokeball!
(Permalink)
Narrator:
Suggest a line…
I think we picked it up at the last river.
(Permalink)
Narrator:
I have a lawn?[Knit Cap and Hairy leave the house. They pass by a moat.] Hairy: Hmmm, did you order a moat?
Knit Cap:
It helps keep bobcats out.
Of course. All cool kids have moats in their yards.
I don't have the best relationship with my mailman.
Yep. Delivered in two days, courtesy of Amazon Prime. I don't remember this being here.
Knit Cap:
It has begun! That's one of the first holes in reality.
Knit Cap:
I've been working on a theory that 2048 is a tool for the old ones to open up portals to this reality.
What about black holes? Those don't count?
We must go deeper. I wanted to jump over the massive sinkhole, but nooo, someone just had to find out what was down there.
Oh, I had the moving company install it last week.
We poop in it.
Finally got you out of the damn house.
Narrator: A wild Pikachu appeared! Narrator: Enemy Pikachu used "Ink Cloud"! Narrator: ... Pikachu: Um... Pikachu: Well then. Pikachu: I might have left surprises in that direction. Look how deep it goes!
Hairy:
I wonder if we can get someone to fall in?
I'm going in. You can come if you want to. I think I see stars down there.
That was a missing opportunity.
I should come outside more often. It looks like I can see Moria from here.
Knit Cap:
You see Moria from everywhere, Dave.
Narrator: A wild Pikachu appeared! Narrator: Enemy Pikachu used "Ink Cloud"! Narrator: It's not very effective... Narrator: Google Maps didn't warn me of this.
Narrator: It's not very effective... Narrator: Enemy Pikachu used "Uplift!" Narrator: It's not very effective... Narrator: Enemy Pikachu used "Cute Face!" Narrator: It's not very effective... Narrator: Enemy Pikachu used "Faceless"! Narrator: It's not very effective... Narrator: Where's Twitch when I need help? Narrator: It's not very effective... Narrator: Enemy Pikachu used "Abandonment"! Narrator: It's not very effective... Enemy Pikachu used "The Discrete Metric"!
Narrator: It's not very effective... Narrator: Enemy Pikachu used "Extrude"! Narrator: It's not very effective... Narrator: ... Pikachu: Um... Pikachu: Now I only have Struggle left. Tie?
Pikachu: No fair! We are the knights who say Ni!
What is even going on here? Gathered the ink!
Narrator: It's not very effective... Narrator: Enemy Pikachu used "Granite"! Narrator: It's not very effective... Yeah, who did you think gave them a balrog?
Knit Cap:
One does not simple "give" a balrog.
What? You weren't using it!
Gift-wrapping's the hardest part. Moria is an anagram of Mario!
[Knit Cap and Hairy pass by a tree.] Hairy: Not idly do the leaves of Lorien fall. I hope it's not a bobcat this time.[A giant hole appears and they fall into it.] Knit Cap and Hairy: Aaaaa... [Knit Cap wakes up.] Knit Cap: Gasp [Goes to his desk.] Knit Cap: Yawn [Sits at his desk.] Knit Cap: Might as well clear more tiles.
[Hairy visits Knit Cap again.] Hairy: Um, there's a hole in your lawn...
Knit Cap:
If it doesn't lead to a 1024 tile, I'm leaving.
Damn bobcats.
Hairy:
Well it was here...
I don't think it was bobcats this time. Unless they have backshoes... I just had a dream about that.
[Knit Cap and Hairy go outside again and fall in the hole again~.] Knit Cap and Hairy: Aaaaa... [Knit Cap wakes up, leaves the bed and finds a boomerang.] Knit Cap: It looks like is [sic] fell from space.
[Knit Cap throwns the boomerang away and it hits something.] Crash! [Knit Cap runs away.] I hope this isn't just another one of those dreams that keeps coming back at you.
[Knit Cap throws the boomerang twice, only for it to return to him both times.] Knit Cap: Hm. I was expecting a shark. [Knit Cap throwns the boomerang again, and it returns to him again.] I hope this was not thrown by a bobcat.
[Knit Cap throws the boomerang, only for it to return to him .] Knit Cap: There's a mesage written on it. [Knit Cap throws the boomerang again. It hits something.] Crash! [Knit Cap runs away.] There's someone at the door looking for you.
I made an apple pie.
If you want to do that, I'm rebuilding my bathroom this afternoon. Definitely not going outside today.
Thank God it wasn't a bobcat.
Hairy:
You just got a package. It's by the door.
Why is there a bobcat on your lawn?
There's somewhere [sic] weird out on the lawn.
Knit Cap:
This seems familiar.
[Knit Cap and Hairy go outside.] Knit Cap: I hope it's not a velociraptor. Hold up. I need to get my wingsuit first.
I hope it's not a giant hole.
[Knit Cap and Hairy go outside. They pass by a tree.] Hairy: How disappointed are you? Knit Cap: I was expecting a bobcat.
Oh? That's the other tree.
Eh, not that much. I have a bad feeling about this. Hey do you know why there's a giant hole in the yard?
[Knit Cap and Hairy go outside.] Knit Cap: I swear if it's a bobcat. Knit Cap: Why did you bring me here?
This dream has been looping for years, and yet we never tire of it. Why is that?
[There is a gap in the ground. Knit Cap jumps over it, Hairy looks into it.] Hmmm... I should buy a shovel.
[Knit Cap looks at his screen wondering.] Knit Cap: Wow! Shovels sure are expensive!
Shovels can't be actually made out of two sticks and a row of rocks?
[Knit Cap is wondering more. Hairy comes. They connect their laptops. Hairy is wondering. Knit Cap tries something at Hairy's laptop.] How can there be 36 types of shovel??!
These prices are insane! I wonder if you can rent a shovel... If you reprogrammed the squirrel laser to target hipsters again...[Knit Cap and Hairy go outside.] Knit Cap: Let's just say we won't have to worry about parking.
No, now they're just wearing wigs ironically.
Things may have gotten out of control a little.
At least it improved their haircuts. There's a dinosaur at the door.
Dinosaur: Self-doubt crippled my arms. Can I have yours?
Dinosaur: Never answer your mobile phone while I am addressing you!
Dinosaur: I think you just entered a dead zone.
(Permalink)
Knit Cap: Augh
Knit Cap: Gasp
Knit Cap: Up up down down left right left right B A
(Permalink)
If I forgot you, will it come back to me?
(Permalink)
Hmmm. Bendy.
(Permalink)
Suggest a line…
Kids these days.
Knit Cap: Augh
Knit Cap: Gasp
Knit Cap: Yawn
Knit Cap: A little gaming should calm me down.
(Permalink)
These stupid lines...
(Permalink)
Knit Cap: ??
Suggest a line...
So Rude
Knit Cap: Augh
Knit Cap: Gasp
Knit Cap: Bommerangs… I know how the dinosaurs went extinct.
(Permalink)
Fabulous secret powers were revealed to me the day I held aloft my magic boomerang and said...
(Permalink)
Boomerang: Thwack!
We meet again
(Permalink)
Boomerang: Thwack!
My entire life has prepared me for this moment.
(Permalink)
Die you monster.
Knit Cap: Augh
Hairy: Gasp
Hairy (singing): I woke up like this
Hairy: Yawn You should really set your phone to vibrate.
(Permalink)
I have to stop hanging out with pintsize
(Permalink)
If dinosaurs think I’m a monster... I really should go to therapy.
(Permalink)
Had the T-Rex dream again. Add “mobile phones” to the list of things he hates.
(Permalink)
Also, have you heard about Tumblr?Also I have some trenchant observations on language and philosophy to make.
Dinosaur: Consider this cabin: The residents take its permanence for granted, yet it’s so ephemeral in the grand scheme.
(Permalink) – only Permanence for granted, yet it’s so ephemeral in the grand scheme. can be seen in the image as there is not enough space.
Knit Cap: Augh
Knit Cap: Gasp
Knit Cap: I must contemplate this boomerang really hard.
(Permalink)
Boomerang: Thwack!
Suggest a line…
One might imagine the computer screen as an escape from the perils of the outside world, but a life half lived is barely worth living at all!
(Permalink) – only Of the outside world, but a life half lived is barely worth living at all! can be seen in the image as there is not enough space.
Knit Cap: Augh
Knit Cap: Gasp
Knit Cap: Yawn
Take this house, a mere fraction of existence, crushed beneath me
Knit Cap: Augh
Knit Cap: Gasp
Knit Cap (singing): I woke up like this
Like this house modern language is an attempt to construct something of use from fragments of a mightier whole.
(Permalink) – only Language is an attempt to construct something of use from fragments of a mightier whole. can be seen in the image as there is not enough space.
Knit Cap: Augh
Knit Cap: Gasp
It's not like you're using them.I need a hand!Did you think he was joking?Sorry for just barging in, I couldn't reach the doorbell.I heard Home Depot has 1024 bathroom tiles.I think I saw a "4096" tile outside somewhere. |
Political Thing Branch |
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Laptop: "...and let's go live to the debate." [Two politicians are debating on TV.] Politician 1: In contrast to my oppponent, who I quote, "Never liked Firefly much to begin with."
...but even if you tied enough birds to the car, would you get them to take off in unison?
Politician 2:
Tie a predatory bird to the car with a somewhat shorter rope so that it will scare off the rest of the birds without being able to reach them.
Training. That's why I support the "Airlift Act", which would put more resources into the hands of bird educators everywhere.
Politician 1:
But is "Airlift" an acronym?
Hairy:
There are birds outside tied to a car.
Knit Cap:
Cool, let's see who we should vote for.
I know who I'm voting for.
How many birds? (permalink)
Hairy:
I call her "Serenity."
So when you said birds...
Knit Cap:
Wait. The birds are inside!?
White Hat: Want to forget your dreams? There's a pill for that! Someone inside the rocket: I needed to escape from politics anyway.
Voice inside the rocket: "…And let’s go live to the debate". (permalink)
Other spacecraft: We observe your speed to be 38.5%c, and your time is passing at 92.3% the rate of ours. Does this mirror your observations? All terms are relative. Liquefied bird fuel is the way to the future.
Well, by “birds” and “car” I really meant a rocket. There’s totally a rocket in your lawn, man. The owls in our barn are forming a union.
Or course: Avian Implemented Reuseable Lifter and Ingenuous Flight Technology! But you must agree that a bitd in the hand is worth more than three educators in the bush.
Incredible!
Wait... Is that like people who educate birds, or birds that teach? By opening and closing an umbrella near them.
One word: Fiscal hawks. And if elected, I vow to win this war on Christmas once and for all!
I agree with my opponent all all [sic] issues and I think his economic plan is fantastic!
Yeah? well І agreed wholeheartedly with yours, first! You can't copy mine! |
BSD Branch |
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[Knit Cap is confused, staring at her laptop.] Knit Cap: ?? Knit Cap: Now I just need to look up what a "beard error" is...[Knit Cap has ?? next to her head to signify confusion. Hairy walks in. (continue) Hairy is on the other side of the desk with his own laptop computer. Both the computers are connected through Ethernet cable. The two characters are typing on the computer. The two stop typing. Hairy has ??? next to his head. Hairy had stepped back while the character is checking on Hairy's laptop computer. Knit Cap is holding something rectangular.] Hairy: The USB cable appears to be mono-directional.
Kernel mites?
I'm not sure rubbing butter on it will help
[Hairy and Knit Cap are handling their computers more aggressively.] Knit Cap: ARGH! [They both stop. Knit Cap walks away, her chair turned 180 degrees. Pushing aside the chair, she returns with a fiery blowtorch while wearing goggles.] Are you all of a sudden in the mood for Thai food?
Let's try OpenBSD next time...
[First panel is of a panned view. Hairy and Knit Cap are walking on a path away from a house. Next panel is back to a "normal camera view".] Hairy: Okay then.
Let's go exploring!
I love Windows.
Guess not. If you'd done the other one, maybe the popcorn would have popped.
Let's see if rubbing some bacon on it will work.
Let's try Linux next time... Yep. It's haunted. Wait. What's on this other partition?[Knit Cap has ??? next to her head to signify confusion. Hairy walks in. Hairy is on the other side of the desk with his own laptop computer. Both the computers are connected through Ethernet cable. The two characters are typing on the computer. The two stop typing. Hairy has ??? next to his head. Hairy had stepped back while Knit Cap is checking on Hairy's laptop computer. Knit Cap is holding something rectangular.] Hairy: Maybe if you cross connect the serial port to video port you'll be able to send the video directly in as an input for the password.
[Knit Cap and Hairy are at sea, both emitting ripples. A shark's fin can be seen close to Hairy.] Hairy: It worked fine for the shark
We're definitely getting closer though
That didn't work!
It would have worked for Solaris.
Look, it made perfect sense at the time.
Still simpler than it used to be, I guess. What's a segfault?
I think the cameras need to face each other.
I'm not sure spaghetti works as a USB cable... Why is Python importing Skynet?(Permalink)
Knit Cap: ???
Hairy: ???
Hairy: It’s definitely the dustWe’re doomedWell, it does have a certificate from cyberdyne systems.Your computer is literally haunted
(Permalink)
I think my exact phrase was “don’t.”
Should have said it faster (permalink)
Hairy: (There is a speak-line from him up to a possible text – but no suggestion can be reached as there is no choices for Knit Cap - as of 2014-04-20.) Restart the computer (permalink)
Hairy: (There is a speak-line from him up to a possible text – but no suggestion can be reached as there is no choices for Knit Cap - as of 2014-04-20.) Don’t say that. (permalink)
Hairy: (There is a speak-line from him up to a possible text – but no suggestion can be reached as there is no choices for Knit Cap - as of 2014-04-20.) Suggest a line… Maybe we tried guessing the root password too many times
I told you, the password is never “swordfish.” (permalink)
Hairy: (There is a speak-line from him up to a possible text – but no suggestion can be reached as there is no choices for Knit Cap - as of 2014-04-20.) I just want to know how a 17th century coppersmith installed a key-logger (permalink) - only coppersmith installed a key-logger can be seen in the image as Knit Cap's text overlaps Hairy's.
Hairy: (There is a speak-line from him up to a possible text – but no suggestion can be reached as there is no choices for Knit Cap - as of 2014-04-20.) Password may have been a desperate last guess (permalink)
Hairy: (There is a speak-line from him up to a possible text – but no suggestion can be reached as there is no choices for Knit Cap - as of 2014-04-20.) Suggest a line… OK , maybe sudo teleport * `random-GPS was the wrong thing to type
To be fair most computers can’t actually do that (permalink)
Hairy: (There is a speak-line from him up to a possible text – but no suggestion can be reached as there is no choices for Knit Cap - as of 2014-04-20.) But a chance at landing it in the playboy mansion, no matter how slim is always worth the gamble (permalink) - only matter how slim is always worth the gamble can be seen in the image as Knit Cap's text overlaps Hairy's.
Hairy: (There is a speak-line from him up to a possible text – but no suggestion can be reached as there is no choices for Knit Cap - as of 2014-04-20.) Still though, you gotta admit it did what is was asked (permalink)
Hairy: (There is a speak-line from him up to a possible text – but no suggestion can be reached as there is no choices for Knit Cap - as of 2014-04-20.) I won’t say “I told you so… But” (permalink)
Hairy: (There is a speak-line from him up to a possible text – but no suggestion can be reached as there is no choices for Knit Cap - as of 2014-04-20.) Which version of BSD where you using?(Permalink) Hairy: The first one? (permalink)
Hairy: (There is a speak-line from him up to a possible text – but no suggestion can be reached as there is no choices for Knit Cap - as of 2014-04-20.) Dunno. It was from some random FTP server. (permalink)
Hairy: (There is a speak-line from him up to a possible text – but no suggestion can be reached as there is no choices for Knit Cap - as of 2014-04-20.) The one with the picture of the fish on it… Perhaps I should have actually read the details. (permalink - only should have actually read the details can be seen in the image as Knit Cap's text overlaps Hairy's.)
Hairy: (There is a speak-line from him up to a possible text – but no suggestion can be reached as there is no choices for Knit Cap - as of 2014-04-20.) The 1997 special release on standard definition (permalink - only Release on standard definition can be seen in the image as Knit Cap's text overlaps Hairy's.)
Knit Cap: I see your class in see-jitsu has paid off (permalink - This comic ties for longest comic with sharks so far - 13 panels)
Hairy: (There is a speak-line from him up to a possible text – but no suggestion can be reached as there is no choices for Knit Cap - as of 2014-04-20.) Why are you leaving? That was the most fun I’ve had all day! (permalink - only the bottom of Why are you can be seen above the rest of the text. This comic tie for longest comic with sharks so far - 13 panels)
Suggest a line… My keyboard has to support SSH over USB? |
Facebook Branch |
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Hairy:
Google's at the door. They want to buy your... Well I'd rather you heard it from them.
Come check out my neighbour's ball pit. It's full of balls.
Oh, didn't I tell you? I got their database password years ago
Do you think they'll care that the coffee machine doesn't work? |
Gravity Branch |
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