Editing 1625: Substitutions 2

This is a sequel to [[1288: Substitutions]], but there have been several [[:Category:Substitutions|comics using substitutions]] both before and after that comic.

In this table, [[Randall]] suggests substituting several common phrases in generic news with similar or related phrases that mean something different for comical effect. Some of the replacements are {{w|synonyms}}, some are {{w|antonyms}}, and some are plain different concepts; and, even though they would (most of the time) make a grammatically correct sentence, The resulting idea would, however, often sound absurd or bizarre.

Some of the examples might, also, mock the fact that many news contradict the actual facts or obvious results of a situation. (e.g. "[influential person] vows to do good to the world" would be replaced with with a more usual fact "[influential person] probably won't do good to the world" - see [[#Example of sentences|example]] below with North Korean leader...)

| A 'debate' is often used between political candidates, to give the voters a chance to decide who they will vote for. One of the candidates <!-- ''Airbenders'' (*note correct spelling*, if this was intentional and needs restoring)--> is often called the winner of such a debate by some degree or other of concensus. Randall is indicating that they could just as well have performed a 'dance-off' where they would dance until one of them danced better than the other, as adjudged by the viewing crowd or a panel of judges. Such a dance-off is often seen in [http://gameshows.wikia.com/wiki/Family_Dance_Off TV-shows] or [http://www.imdb.com/title/tt3024964/combined films] etc.

| 'Self driving' cars were also mentioned in [[1623: 2016 Conversation Guide]] where it was stated that they would come surprisingly soon (within a few minutes according to the substitutions suggested here). But until they are safe it might be better to mention them as uncontrollably swerving cars? <!-- possibly also a reference to https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MrwxEX8qOxA could be put here??? -->

| A 'poll', especially regarding political issues, refers to {{w|opinion poll|opinion}} or {{w|exit poll|exit}} polls. These temd to ask a carefully selected sample (for either balance or an intended ''inbalance'', depending on the poll's neutrality) their opinions in order to extrapolate the global consensus, e.g. the future result of an {{w|election}}. This substitution is Randall's way of saying that they could just as well have used a {{w|psychic}} person to predict the result. A true psychic (if that they are) would reveal an accurate result, whilst a false one (skilled at 'cold reading' an audience) would likely wish to provide the answer that pleases those asking the question (the actual purpose of some polls), or else attempt to provide their actual 'best guess' as to future outcomes in order to improve their own legend.

| A 'candidate' usually refers to a political person who represents a certain political party in an election. He would then be that party's candidate, for instance for a presidential election. 'Airbender' refers to the show {{w|Avatar: The Last Airbender}}, where there are waterbenders, earthbenders, firebenders and (at this point) a single surviving airbender, the airbender in question being a pivotal character upon whose actions the future fate of world relies.

| Drones can be many things, for instance a {{w|Drone (bee)|male bee}}, but as used in the title text it reefers to unmanned aerial vehicles. {{w|Amazon.com|Amazon}} <!-- This was 'Amazone'... I've seen this erroneous spelling before, guys... not sure if it's a non-Anglophone version of Amazon or just a non-Anglophonic misconception of the spelling.  Also, now linking straight to the non-disambiguating page... --> is about to use small drones to deliver parcels, and Randall has referred to these before (see [[1523: Microdrones]]). However, until just before the recent trend of becoming popularised as a 'toy' or professional camera platform, the term became closely associated with ''military'' drones that have been used to observe (and, more recently, fire upon) enemy forces without risking any military personnel. <!-- Also possibly link to {{w|BigDog}}? -->

| A criminal that is on the run is said to be at large. But At-large is a political designation for members of a governing body who are elected or appointed to represent the whole membership of the body, rather than a subset of that membership.

| The two words have nothing much to do with each other except that they both begins with ''su''.

| 'Expands' often refers to a physical expansion, or inflation. But it is also possible to expand on an explanation, as is done for this comic. So that would become: This explanation is being physically expanded beyond all measures...

| [http://da.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=Friggin Friggin'] awful  

| First, second and third-degree can be used in many context. It is common to think about {{w|Burn|burns}}, which can {{w|Burn#Signs_and_symptoms|range from first to fourth degree}}, where higher is worse. Also {{w|murder}} charges can range in from first to third degree in for instance the US. Here first degree murder is the worst. But it can be used for other things, like an {{w|undergraduate degree}} or {{w|postgraduate education}} for first and second degree respectively. But the substitution fits best with murder or burn, as Friggin(g) is s "softer" swear word than for instance other more commonly used four letter words. It often replaces ''fuck''. It's original meaning was a coarse word for female masturbation (see [https://en.wiktionary.org/wiki/frigging#English frigging]).

| This is so imprecise a statement; are we talking less than ten, more than a thousand? Maybe we could just as well have said about one hundred.

| In American politics, a 'front-runner' is a leader in an electoral race. It can also mean the front-runner in athletic events (the namesake of the political concept). Here it is generally clear who the front-runner is, whilst the political front-runner is sometimes less clear or a more subjective viewpoint. A 'blade runner' is a person who retires (kills) rouge cyborgs in the movie Blade Runner, where {{w|Harrison Ford}} plays the lead Blade Runner.

| Global comes from globe, but means so much more today. It is often used in context such as {{w|global warming}} or {{w|World war|global warfare}}. But since a globe is spherical, this substitution makes more sense than most, although talking about ''the effect of spherical warming'' would probably not get {{w|Greenpeace}} into action.

|-

| It will often make a sentence lose its meaning when changing the units drastically from years to minutes (there are 525600 minutes in the usual 365 days present in a year). For instance it would be unusual that a prisoner convicted for murder would get 20 minutes in jail, rather than 20 years...

| Same as above but reversed. For instance a car might make a trip around a race track in just 7 years! One lesson at school lasted 45 years.

| Scientifically, the fact that there is 'no indication' that a theorem is correct does not positively prove the theorem wrong, it merly does not support it (assuming there are no actual counter-indications, which is often the case with the more esoteric ideas). This is often seized upon by those trying to promote a pseudoscience, in that their chosen idea ''has not been proven to be wrong'' (and yet, conversley, "it's just a theory" is incorrectly used to refute something that has valid scientific backing). Moreover, heresay and bad experimental practices are often cited as 'proof'. A crackpot idea may thus be unsupported by valid science (there is 'no indication' of its truth) and yet its supporters insist upon there being 'lots of signs' that it is true, selectively using only ambiguous results that (to them, at least) lend credence to it being a fact. The substitution of 'no indication' with 'lots of signs' thus automatically converts the expected conservative and cautious stance on some disputed issue or other into the weasle-words phrasing that the issue's supporters may start using in their own propoganda.

| {{w|Alcohol intoxication|Drunkenly}} [https://en.wiktionary.org/wiki/egg_on egged on]

| If someone urges someone to restrain themselves, then they are trying to make them exercise self-control and discourage them from starting or continuing a possibly foolish act. In this substitution we have the exact opposite, as to egg someone on to do something is actively encourage an act to happen, or continue.

| Cars power is measured in horsepower (hp), a typical family car having like hundred hp, being derived from the nominal amount of power that a suitably-harnessed horse could have provided. In cars, this has nothing to do with horse meat, of any quantity, but it can make some quite funny sentences the re-envisage a mechanical (or electrical) engine as a real-horse powered device (alive or, somehow, dead and possibly even butchered).

**Words from the list, and the replacement words are highlighted with '''bold''' font.

[[Category:Substitutions]]

[[Category:Charts]]