374: Journal

Explain xkcd: It's 'cause you're dumb.
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And the journal is filled with all the things I'd say to her if I were nice like you.  I burn it when it's full.
Title text: And the journal is filled with all the things I'd say to her if I were nice like you. I burn it when it's full.


Black Hat isn't the type of person to keep a journal, so Cueball is understandably surprised when he sees Black Hat's journal. Black Hat lives up to our expectations of him, as it turns out that the journal is just part of a plot to hurt innocents.

If you want to see how well the plan worked, check out xkcd 377: Journal 2


[Man picks up book from a table]

Man: Since when do you keep a journal?

[Man in black hat leans over from computer to answer]

Man in black hat: Oh, I pretend to write in it on the train, and wait for a shy-looking girl to sit across from me.

[Scene change to a train. The man in black hat is sitting across from a girl]

Main in black hat (narrating): I glance up and wait for her to make eye contact, then look down bashfully and, if I can, blush.

[Scene back to original room with man and man in black hat]

Man in black hat: Then, when I see her start to smile at me, I roll my eyes and hit her with a quick glare, then resume writing. The alienation stays with her all day. It's great.

[Man in black hat is back to typing on the computer]

Man: You're sickening. This is why we can't have nice people

Man in black hat: I can't help it. It's like shooting lonely, angsty fish in a barrel.

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It seems to me that panel four is referencing the "This is why we can't have nice things" meme.-- 13:23, 14 November 2012 (UTC)

Well maybe. Because without knowing that meme it seems like there is something missing. (Like "...we can't have nice people visiting"). --Kynde (talk) 15:21, 28 March 2016 (UTC)

I interpret the title text (about how he writes nice things he would say to the girl in the journal) as part of his technique: he puts himself in the mood of being interested in the girl so that his facial and body language would convey this information as best as possible (so, for example, he will be able to generate a fake blush). Mountain Hikes (talk) 19:08, 19 October 2015 (UTC)

I thought the title text was Black Hat insulting nice people by burning their thoughts 18:47, 21 March 2016 (UTC)
It is probably both --Kynde (talk) 15:21, 28 March 2016 (UTC)

I think Black Hat's roommate is Rob, rather than Cueball. 17:40, 20 September 2016 (UTC)