293: RTFM

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RTFM

Title text: Life is too short for man pages, and occasionally much too short without them.

Explanation

The title is an acronym for "read the fucking manual", which frustrated software users tell newbie users when confronted with a simple question (most likely answered in the manual).

However, Cueball encounters a similar situation with a 911 call, in which the 911 dispatcher hangs up after Cueball states that he has not read the toaster's man page (an unreasonable request as man pages only exist on *nix systems and only describe commands and C functions, not hardware). The 911 dispatcher ignored an obvious medical emergency (the toaster stabbed Cueball in the face), an unusual action for emergency dispatchers but not unusual for Black Hat (perhaps he got a job as a 911 dispatcher).

The title text references the length of *nix man pages, which often span multiple screens, and the fact that they are often very detailed descriptions of their subjects.

Transcript

[ A man with a knife sticking out of his heavily bleeding face stands in front of a toaster, which has an arm extending from the top of it. He is holding a telephone to his ear. ]

Man: Hello, 911? I just tried to toast some bread, and the toaster grew an arm and stabbed me in the face!

911: Did you read the toaster's man page first?

Man: Well, no, but all I wanted was--

911: <<click>>

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Discussion

RTFM wasn't something you'd generally hear from the software makers. It was what assholes in supposed support forums would say instead of actually helping. For example, on the IRC there was generally a #Linux, where people might go to look for help with the OS. But the admins and members would often, literally, reply RTFM unless the question was obscure enough to satisfy them. At best, they'd respond with a link to some man or web page where they thought you should be able to learn enough to eventually answer your question. A friend of mine set up a competing channel, which we called #Linpeople, where we would actually answer questions that regular people asked, not just esoteria. I also came up with a way to wring answers from #Linux: I owned my own ISP, so I would set up identd (the service that validated user identity) to spoof being a user from another system, log in from both my and another "user", and then give ridiculous, bad answers to my own questions. The assholes would be outraged at the wrong info, and correct it, thus letting slip the real solution. — Kazvorpal (talk) 22:24, 3 November 2019 (UTC)

In this writer's opinion, expecting anyone to read a manual that is more than a page or two long, in this Internet-speed era, is unreasonable. 173.245.54.52 18:30, 30 October 2015 (UTC)

Not reading a manual is punishable by being stabbed in the face...I think we can all blame the customer service people for this one. Speaking from their point of view, though, it's definitely a great feature!162.158.74.33 15:32, 12 March 2017 (UTC)

...or losing the face... 172.68.215.77 15:31, 12 January 2018 (UTC)

Only a few words, ............ :P Dontknow (talk) 05:04, 7 May 2017 (UTC)

Just a thought, but if the official documentation (or even worse, a manpage) counts as "esoteric documentation" then what is the non-esoteric one? The first awser on quora? That being said, I don't know how well this joke translates outdide the Linux ecosystem, since in other places people will most likely just ignore you.Xandru (talk) 17:22, 27 May 2024 (UTC)

This is exactly the reason I need explainxkcd. How the hell would I have known what a "man page" is? - 162.158.137.212 05:41, 24 June 2024 (UTC)