3168: Beam Dump
| Beam Dump |
 Title text: We're adding some industrial flypaper to minimize reflection or scattering of customers who might complain. |
Explanation[edit]
Experimental particle physics and amusement parks both involve moving objects at speed, and both require provisions to be made to safely handle those objects if something goes wrong. Beyond this, there is little similarity. Despite this, in the comic, Cueball, Megan, and White Hat have apparently hired an accelerator physicist, portrayed as Ponytail, to design a water park. Ponytail has decided that, in the event that an emergency stop is activated on a large waterslide, the riders would be diverted to a "beam dump", a large block of graphite, which Ponytail believes would safely slow the momentum of the riders. However, unlike in Ponytail's former field of work, the subsequent fate of the visitors should be a major concern, and collisions into heavy solid blocks is a physical health risk.[citation needed]
In the context of a particle accelerator, beam dumps are indeed formed of large blocks of graphite, which safely slow the unwanted particles without having them release large amounts of energy in a more uncontrolled manner. It could be argued that since this measure is intended for the safety of the operators and equipment, and not the particles (customers) it would technically be effective at the original purpose if the blocks are sufficiently large, protecting the operators and equipment from high velocity customers — if not from the lawsuits of any survivors/next-of-kin.
Reflection and scattering, mentioned in the title text, are effects that occur as a result of particle collisions in a particle accelerator. In the context of this amusement park, though, it could mean customers worrying about the "beam dump" solution and running off to find someone to complain to about it. Alternatively, it could mean the messy after-effects of them striking the graphite. Either way, Ponytail proposes to use industrial grade, ie high strength, flypaper to prevent it by trapping the patrons or parts thereof.
Transcript[edit]
- [Ponytail is standing in front of a diagram on the wall, pointing at it with a pointer. The diagram has a picture of a waterslide and some unintelligible text. The waterslide has two paths at the bottom; one returns to the base of the entrance tower, the other goes to a large black block. On the right stand Cueball, Megan, and White Hat facing her.]
- Ponytail: If the emergency stop is activated, any riders on the waterslide will be diverted into the beam dump, a large graphite block which will safely absorb their momentum.
- [Caption below panel:]
- We regretted hiring an accelerator physicist to design our water park.
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Started with an explanation. Wikilinks would be very useful. Get this done quickly; this will be confusing, even for xkcd readers. --DollarStoreBa'alConverse 22:16, 14 November 2025 (UTC)
I don't see why a large block of graphite wouldn't absorb the momentum effectively. If it's not working effectively enough, it's simply not large enough. Easy. --2A10:D586:3E93:0:1DF3:4522:835D:33DD 23:19, 14 November 2025 (UTC)
- Well, for one thing, the collision is too elastic, and you'll get reflection. And graphite is brittle. 163.116.145.79 15:32, 17 November 2025 (UTC)
I feel like there might be an implied reference to the Schlitterbahn Kansas City incident with their Verrückt ride. Obviously not the main, geek-oriented point, but maybe worth calling out? Kind of dark, in any case. 2605:A601:AC81:5C00:89A3:3829:B7F:41E6 01:48, 15 November 2025 (UTC)
Why would quantum mechanics be mostly unable to describe what happens on the macroscopic scale if one were able to fully calculate the equations of state for each elemental particle (i. e., quarks, gluons, electrons) from the (mass- and, in some way, age-dependent) 200–900 ronnaparticles (or possibly up to 1–2 quettaparticles if we don't simplify baryons to 3 quarks and gluons)? 2001:4C4E:1C02:B400:A0AA:7176:EDF2:27AE 21:58, 15 November 2025 (UTC)
Who else thought of the Monty Python Architect's Sketch? https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Architects_Sketch -boB (talk) 15:16, 18 November 2025 (UTC)
Which fun hater removed all the [citation needed]? I'm not mad, I just want to talk. -2603:7001:F040:10F8:CD0D:6500:323F:8258 07:34, 19 November 2025 (UTC)
- Was this one of those times when there were {{Citation needed}}s all over the place? Or even just two very close together (each being quite subjectively humorous, on top of that).
- You can overdo them. People do overdo them. Other people make the judgemennt that they're not needed, or even excessive. Nothing personal, just not necessary to keep them. 82.132.236.44 18:04, 19 November 2025 (UTC)
- I added one of them back (the one in the middle paragraph, relating to the fact that slamming into graphite blocks poses a significant health risk. --DollarStoreBa'alConverse 20:27, 19 November 2025 (UTC)
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